# Think Well On't/Day 15

THE FIFTEENTH DAY.
On the interior pains of hell.
CONSIDER, that the fire of hell and all the rest of the exterior torments which are endured there, are terrible indeed; but no ways comparable to the interior pains of the soul: that Poena Damni, or eternal loss of God, and of all that is good: that extremity of anguish which follows from this loss; that rueful remorse of a bitter but fruitless repentance attended with everlasting despair and rage: that complication of all those racking tortures in the inward powers and faculties of the soul, are torments incomparably greater than any thing that can be suffered in the body.
2. Consider, in particular, that pain of loss, which, in the judgment of divines, is the greatest of all the torments of hell; though worldlings here have difficulties of conceiving how this can be. Alas! poor sinners, so weak is their notion of eternal goods, and so deeply are they immersed in the things of this world, amusing themselves with a variety of created objects, which divert their thoughts from God's sovereign goodness, that they cannot imagine, that the loss of God can be so great and dismal a torment, as the saints and servants of God, who are guided by better lights, all agree it is. But the case will be quite altered ​when they shall find themselves in hell. There they shall be convinced, by their own woeful experience, what misery it is to have lost their God; to have lost him totally; to have lost him irrevocably; to have lost him eternally; to have lost him in himself; to have lost him in all his creatures; to be eternally banished from him, who was their only happiness, their last end and sovereign good, the overflowing fountain of all good: and in losing him to have lost all that is good, and that for ever. As long as sinners are in this mortal life, they many ways partake of the goodness of God, who makes the sun to rise upon the good and bad, and rains upon the just and unjust. All that is agreeable in this world, all that is delightful in creatures, and all that is comfortable in life, is all in some measure a participation of the divine goodness. No wonder then, that the sinner, whilst he so many ways partakes of the goodness of God, should not in this life be sensible of what it is to be totally and eternally deprived of him. But in hell, alas! those unhappy wretches shall find, that in losing their God, they have also lost all kind of good or comfort, which any of his creatures heretofore afforded; instead of which, they find all things now conspiring against them, nor any way left of diverting the dreadful thought of this loss, which is always present to their minds, and gripes them with inexpressible torment.
3. Consider, that every damned soul shall be a hell to herself, and all and every one of her powers and faculties shall have their respective hells. Her memory shall be for ever tormented, by revolving without ceasing her past folly, stupidity and madness, in forfeiting the eternal joys of heaven, that ocean of bliss, which she might have obtained at so cheap a rate, and which so many of her acquaintance are now in possession of, for an ​empty, trifling pleasure that lasted but for a moment, and left nothing behind it but the stain of sin, and the remorse of a guilty conscience; or for some petty interest, or punctilio of honour, by which she was then robbed of all her treasures, and all her honours; and, upon account of which, she is now so miserably poor and despicable, eternally trodden under foot by insulting devils. Oh! what will her judgment then be of this transitory world, and all its cheating vanities, when, after having been millions of ages in hell, looking back from that immense eternity, and being scarcely able to find out in that infinite duration, this little point of her mortal life, she shall compare time and eternity, past pleasures and present pains, virtue and vice, heaven and hell!
4. Consider, that the understanding of the damned shall also have its hell, in being for ever deprived of the light of truth, always employed in false and blasphemous judgments and notions concerning God and his justice, to the great increase of its own misery; and ever dwelling upon the thoughts of present and future torments, without being able for a moment to think of any thing else: so that all and every one of the torments which the damned endure, and are to endure for eternity, are every moment before the eyes of their understanding; and thus in every moment, they bear the insupportable load of a miserable eternity.
5. Consider, that as the obstinate will of the sinner has been the most guilty, so this power of the soul shall suffer in proportion the greatest torments; always seeking what she shall never find, and ever flying from what she must for ever endure. Ah! what fruitless longings, what vain wishes shall be her constant entertainment, whilst she is doomed for eternity, never to attain to any ​one the least thing which she desires! Oh! who can express that violent impetuosity, with which the will of these wretches is now carried towards God; sensible as they are of the immense happiness, which is found in the enjoyment of him? But, alas! they always find an invisible hand that drives them back, or rather they always find themselves bound fast down in eternal chains, struggling in vain with that hand which they cannot resist, and unable to make the least approach towards the object of their restless desires. Hence they break forth into a thousand blasphemies; hence the whole soul is torn in pieces with a whole army of violent, and withal opposite passions of fury, envy, hatred, despair, &c. These torments of the interior powers of the soul are attended with that never-dying worm of conscience, which shall for ever prey upon those miscreants. By this is meant an eternal remorse, a bitter but fruitless repentance, which is ever racking their despairing souls. Sweet Jesus, deliver us from such dreadful complication of evils!