# The Pastor in his Closet/Wednesday

Oxford: James Parker and Co., pages 38–48
WEDNESDAY.
In the morning watch do I come unto Thee, God, yea, in the morning watch; I remember Thee when I awake, and I remember the great charge which Thou hast given me, even all these souls, these living souls, this multitude of souls, all this people, “fearfully and wonderfully made,” painfully redeemed, bought with blood, even with Thy blood, Thou “Lamb of God that takest away the sins of the world.”
On my knees, Lord Jesus, Thou great Shepherd of the sheep, Thou good Shepherd, that laidest down Thy life for the sheep and gavest it to the wolves, out of Thine unspeakable love, love past finding out, for the height and depth and breadth thereof, I do pray Thee remember these souls, this portion of Thy universal flock, this parish, my own dear flock, my care and my joy. Remember them and have mercy on them now, and always, in this life and in the day of judgment.
All these souls in this parish are mine; mine to present unto Thee at the last day; as the steward of them, they are mine, good and bad ​together, to be watched, nourished, carried in my bosom, in my innermost heart, to be worn next my heart, to be loved with heart-love, exceedingly, holily, “through good report and evil report,” whether they hear, or whether they forbear. I should stretch out mine arms, yea, stretch out my soul and embrace them in my love, as mine own spiritual children, high and low together, rich and poor, one with another, for Thou hast died for all.
And all these souls must be judged at the last day by Thee, the Judge of all flesh, every one, each one, in his own order, singly, by himself, for his own deeds done in the body; they are now sowing to immortal life or immortal death, to true life or true death; to life immortal with Thee, if Thou acceptest them in Thy mercy, to death eternal, in the gulf of death, if Thou turnest Thy face away from them, and knowest them not in that day.
Every face that I behold must be changed by the mighty working of Thy power into an eternal fashion, fit for the eternal light of Thine own kingdom, or for the place of devils; yea, not face only must be changed, but the whole body; and not only the body, but body and soul together. God, when I look upon this present ​fashion of my people I am filled with a great awe, not knowing what their change will be, their eternal fashion, and seeing how great a work each soul has to perform in this short life to be ripe for Thy coming.
O holy Pather, have mercy upon this flock, and rouse their souls to a true love of Thy will, and an earnest practice of Thy will. Save them, lest they perish, save them in this “acceptable day” from their sins. Thou hast sent me to preach Thy Word unto them that they may be saved; grant that I may so preach and so labour that many may be turned to righteousness for Thy dear Son’s sake.
O holy Jesus, by Thy Cross and Passion help me that I may help this flock.
Come among us, Holy Ghost, and help us, and with great might succour us; pity us, bear with us, enlighten us, renew in us “whatsoever has been decayed by the fraud and malice of the devil, or through our own carnal will and frailness.”
And first, O Lord, do I pray for those who are the first in Thy love; for the babes and sucklings, infants and little ones; for those newly-born, that they may live to be born again of water and of the Spirit; for those newly baptized, that “they ​may lead the rest of their Hves according to that beginning.”
Thou hast told us in Thy Word what an exceeding love Thou bearest towards children, for Thou didst take them up in Thine arms and bless them; Thou didst stop in Thy path when Thy disciples were minded to pass them by; Thou didst set a child in the midst of Thy disciples as an example of meekness and teachableness; Thy first martyrs were the holy innocents. Behold, then, how Thou didst love them. Teach me this love, that I may be a lover of their souls, a spiritual father, that I may win them to Thy truth before the world has won them through the deceitfulness of sin. Make me to yearn over them as the choice of my flock, the most pure, the most heavenly, the most like angels, trustful, ready to love, guileless, ignorant of actual sin, without art, real, sincere.
When I behold children in their innocency I could weep to think of sin and passion working in them and distorting them; their innocence doth fill me with reverence for those little ones. I feel humbled before them when I consider their guilelessness. A few little angers and waywardnesses, these are all the stains wherewith they are soiled as yet. What am I, with all these years ​of sin that have passed over my head, all this growth of sin in me, every day with its own burden of sin, and requiring its own act of repentance! And yet. Lord, I am to teach these little ones. Humble me while I am teaching them; help me to fill their souls with true godly knowledge, not with the letter, but with the spirit, with love of Thee and of Thy blessed Gospel. Preserve their innocency; keep them from the evil world, that they may be Thine, even from their youth up, and grow in grace unto their lives' end. Tf there be among them any fatherless and orphans, on them bestow especial pity, and enable me, in the things belonging unto their souls, to be unto them in the stead of a father.
The young also, who have grown out of childhood, preserve from the sins and offences to which youth inclines; guard them in that most difficult season when they rejoice in their strength, and the pleasures of the world dance before them, and their blood is warm, and life opens upon them, and length of life seems to be before them. In the hour of temptation, when they are enticed into youthful sins, do Thou succour them with gifts of the Holy Ghost: enable them to resist temptation; give them boldness, the resolute mind, the fear of sin, the tenderness of ​science, stedfastness, that no persuasion of evil companions, nor the voice of any charmer, nor ridicule, nor false shame, nor any pleasure which sin promises, may draw them away towards the paths of hell. "Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way, even by ruling himself after Thy Word." Give them an affection for Thy Word that they may cleanse their way and rule themselves according to Thy Word.
Preserve also, good Lord, the middle-aged, that they be not choked with the cares of the world, for upon such do the cares of the world most thickly fall; warn them lest they become cold, worldly, drowned in worldly businesses, lovers of self, greedy of riches. Shew them for their souls' sake the vanity and deceitfulness of the world, its ill returns for hard service, uncertain payments for great labours, perishableness of its riches, changeableness of its praise, insincerity of its love, its forgetfulness of its own children, its utter unprofitableness, failing in time of trial, unstable as water, unsatisfying to an immortal soul. There are many whose callings are dangerous, subject to especial snares, like slippery places, wherein it is difficult to stand upright: these, Lord, either take from such callings, or enable them to walk unharmed.
​Defend also the gray-headed, the hoary head, that it may be "a crown of glory." Give the aged above all men a watchful spirit; preserve their senses; let not their minds grow dim and fail; let not darkness fall on them, nor a second childhood, till they have finished their course and fought their fight. As they have but the fragment of a span left, grant that all their thoughts may be turned heavenwards, that heaven may be begun in them before they go hence out of the world, and that the world may be dead in them before they die. May their last days be the holiest of all. May their light be burning so much the more in the inner man as their outward house wastes and decays. Prepare their souls, most holy Father, for the last judgment, through Jesus Christ.
For the sinners of my flock,, the great sinners, who live wilfully in sin, who harden their hearts against Thee, I have need most earnestly to pray. Move them to repentance, good Lord; melt their impenitent hearts, that they may open their eyes and behold the peril of their souls. Draw them out of the mire, that they sink not; turn Thou them, and they shall be turned; convert them, and they shall live; though they have sinned desperately, forgive their sins; I pray Thee ​let not these poor souls, so blind, so dead in sin, perish in the everlasting fires. O shew forth Thy great mercy; those who are in such great need of repentance and forgiveness do Thou waken out of their most fearful sleep.
For the sick whom Thou chastenest in Thy love I offer up my prayers; heal their sickness if it be expedient for them. May it do Thy work in their souls, that they be not chastened in vain. May they look up to Thee, and turn to Thee with a new heart, and repent upon their beds, and in their patience shew forth the fruits of repentance. May their sickness be received as an angel into their house; may they entertain it as an angel and minister of grace; when it shall depart may they remember that they have had an angel, and consider the message wherewith it was sent unto their souls. I beseech Thee, Saviour, restore unto them their health. Spare them a little, that they may recover their strength; that if they be moved to repentance, they may have time to perfect their resolves, and to walk in newness of life. Above all, save them from falling back; let not their sickness pass as a dream of the night, lest their "last state be worse than the first," and lest a worse thing happen unto them. How fearful a thing it must be to be chastened without bearing ​any fruit of correction, to have Thy rod laid on us and yet to retain our sins! What remains to be done unto a soul that after chastening returns to its sins!
And now not for the sick only, but for those whose sickness is unto death, for the dying, most merciful Saviour, for the dying do I come before Thee with most anxious prayer. For them I pour out my soul with an intensity of desire. By Thine own feeling of the pains of death, by Thine own experience of the mystery of death, by Thine own former pangs, have mercy upon them, both now and in the actual hour of death.
O Thou most gracious and most pitiful Lord, send the Holy Ghost the Comforter to strengthen and support those who are at the point to die, whose spirits are about to be loosed from their earthly house. Prepare them for the act of death; succour them in this their greatest need; enable them to resign themselves into Thy hands with perfect faith in Thy great mercy. Ease their bodily pains, that their souls may have power to pray. Let not the torment of the flesh distract and engross their souls. Let not Satan have power over them, nor his angels. Now, O Lord, now they need Thy presence. Thy strength, ​Thy grace. Thy divine succour, Thy consolation, to bear them up. They need Thy comfort to refresh their souls, Thy rod and Thy staff to comfort them.
Take from them all excess of fear, that they be not overwhelmed with fear. Call them not till their full work is finished, their pardon sealed in heaven, their repentance of sins perfected, their faith triumphant. Thou knowest their pains of body, their distress of spirit, for Thou hast borne both in Thine own person on the Cross. Stretch out Thine hand to save. As Thou wast strengthened in Thine own agony by Thine Angels, so send Thine Angels to minister to them on their beds. As they are now fastened to their cross of death, accept their prayers, and consider the sorrows of their souls; blot out their sins, wash them in the fountain of Thine own blood, redeem them from the pains of eternal death, take them unto Thyself, that they may stand before Thee with great joy in Thine own kingdom for ever.
If, too, there are any afflicted among my flock, any in distress of mind, any widows, or desolate persons, grieving over departed friends, or any in great temporal distress, grant that I may be able, as sent by Thee, to console them with the ​consolations of the Gospel. Do Thou visit them in their afflictions, give them "patience under their sufferings, and a happy issue out of all their afflictions;" that best issue, increase in godliness, a more perfect surrender of themselves to Thee, a more deep desire to be wholly Thine, a more thorough deadness to the world. For this end hast Thou afflicted them; let Thine end be fulfilled, even the purifying of their souls through these present fires.
Finally, most holy Father, for all the members of this my flock, for this my own parish, my own dear charge, children and old men, young men and maidens, the prosperous and the afflicted, the healthful and the sick, those in the midst of life, those at the point of death, yea, for all whom Thou hast given me, I implore Thy mercy with all my soul; though I be unworthy to be heard, yet hear me out of Thy holy heaven, through the power of the blood of Jesus Christ.