# A Short View of the Immorality and Profaneness of the English Stage/Chapter V

CHAP. V.
Remarks upon Amphytrion, King Arthur, Don Quixote, and the Relapſe.
SECTION I.
The following Plays, excepting the Laſt, will fall under the ſame Heads of Commendation with the Former. However, ſince the Poets have here been prodigal in their Expence, and dreſs'd themſelves with more Curioſity then ordinary, they deſerve a proportionable Regard. So much Finery muſt not be Crowded. I ſhall therefore make Elbow-Room for their Figure, and allow them the Compaſs of a diſtinct Chapter.
To begin with Amphytrion. In this Play Mr. Dryden repreſents Jupiter with the Attributes of the ſupream Being: He furniſhes him with Omnipotence, makes him the Creator of Nature, and the Arbiter of Fate, puts all the Functions of Providence in his Hand, and deſcribes him with the Majeſty of the true God.Amphit. p. 1, 2, 3, 8, 9. And when he has put Him in this glorious ​Equipage, he brings him out for Diverſion. He makes him expreſs himſelf in the moſt intemperate Raptures:p. 8. 17. He is willing to Renounce his Heaven for his Brutality, and employ a whole Eternity in Lewdneſs. He draws his Debauch at its full Length, with all the Art, and Heightings, and Foulneſs of Idea immaginable. This Jupiter is not contented with his ſucceſs againſt Amphitrion, unleſs he brings Alcmena into the Confederacy, and makes her a Party ex poſt Facto. He would not have her think of her Huſband, but her Lover, that is, her Whoremaſter. 'Tis not the ſucceſs, but the manner of gaining it which is all in all. 'Tis the Vice which is the charming Circumſtance. Innocence and Regularity, are dangerous Companions; They ſpoil Satiſfaction, and make every Thing inſipid! Unleſs People take care to diſcharge their Virtue, and clear off their Conſcience, their Senſes will vaniſh immediately! For Jupiter, ſays he,p. 18. would owe nothing to a Name ſo dull as Huſband. And in the next Page.
That very name of Wife And Marriage Is poyſon to the deareſt ſweets of Love.19.
I would give the Reader ſome more of theſe fine Sentences, but that they are ​too much out of Order to appear. The truth is, Our Stage-Poets ſeem to fence againſt Cenſure by the exceſs of Lewdneſs; And to make the overgrown ſize of a Crime, a Ground for Impunity. As if a Malefactor ſhould project his Eſcape by appearing too ſcandalous for Publick Tryal. However, This is their Armour of Proof, this is the Strength they retreat to. They are fortified in Smut, and almoſt impregnable in Stench, ſo that where they deſerve moſt, there's no coming at them. To proceed. I deſire to know what Authority Mr. Dryden has for this extraordinary Repreſentation? His Original Plautus, is no Preſident. Indeed Plautus is the only bold Heathen that ever made Jupiter tread the Stage. But then he ſtops far ſhort of the Liberties of the Engliſh Amphitrion. Jupiter at Rome, and London, have the ſame unaccountable Deſign; but the Methods of purſuit are very different. The Firſt, does not ſolicit in ſcandalous Language, nor flouriſh upon his Lewdneſs, nor endeavours to ſet it up for the Faſhion. Plautus had ſome regard to the Height of the Character, and the Opinion of his Country, and the Reſtraints of Modeſty. The Sallies of Ariſtophanes do not come up to the caſe; And if they did, I have cut off the Succours from that ​Quarter already. Terence's Chærea. is the next bold Man:Eunuch. However, here the Fable of Jupiter and Danae are juſt glanced at, and the Expreſſion is clean; and He that tells the Story, a Young Libertine. Theſe are all circumſtances of extenuation, and give quite another Complexion to the Thing. As for the Greek Tragedians and Seneca, there's no Preſcription can be drawn from them. They mention Jupiter in Terms of Magnificence and Reſpect, and make his Actions, and his Nature of a piece. But it may be the Celebrated Homer, and Virgil may give Mr. Dryden ſome Countenance. Not at all. Virgil's Jupiter is alwaies great, and ſolemn, and keeps up the port of a Deity. 'Tis true, Homer does not guard the Idea with that exactneſs, but then He never ſinks the Character into Obſcenity. The moſt exceptionable paſſage is that where Jupiter relates his Love Adventures to Juno. Here this pretended Deity is charm'd with Venus's Girdle, is in the height of his Courtſhip, and under the Aſcendant of his Paſſion. This 'tis confeſs'd was a ſlippery Place, and yet the Poet makes a ſhift to keep his Feet. His Jupiter is Little, but not nauſeous; The Story, tho' improper, will bear the telling, and look Converſation in the Face. However; Theſe ​Freedoms of Homer were counted intolerable: I ſhall not inſiſt on the Cenſures of Juſtin Martyr, or Clemens Alexandrinus: Even the Heathen could not endure them. The Poets are laſhed by Plato upon this Score; For planting Vice in Heaven, and making their Gods infectious; If Mr. Dryden anſwers that Jupiter can do us no Harm.Euſeb. præpar. Evang. He is known to be an Idol of Lewd Memory, and therefore his Example can have no Force: Under Favour this is a miſtake: For won't Pitch daub when a dirty Hand throws it; or can't a Toad ſpit Poyſon becauſe ſhe's ugly? Ribaldry is dangerous under any Circumſtances of Repreſentation. And as Menander and St. Paul expreſs it, Evil Communications corrupt good Manners. I mention them both, becauſe if the Apoſtle ſhould be diſlik'd, the Comedian may paſs. But after all, Mr. Dryden has not ſo much as a Heathen Preſident for his Singularities. What then made him fall into them? Was it the Decency of the Thing, and the Propriety of Character, and Behaviour? By no means. For as I have obſerv'd before, Nature and Operations, ought to be proportion'd, and Behaviour ſuited to the Dignity of Being. To draw a Monkey in Royal Robes, and a Prince in Antick, would be Farce upon ​Colours, entertain like a Monſter, and pleaſe only upon the ſcore of Deformity. Why then does Mr. Dryden croſs upon Nature and Authority, and go off as he Confeſſes, from the Plan of Plautus, and Moliere? Tho' by the way, the Engliſh Amphitryon has borrow'd moſt of the Libertine Thoughts of Moliere, and improv'd them. But to the former queſtion. Why muſt the beaten Road be left? He tells us, That the difference of our Stage from the Roman and the French did ſo require it.Ep. Ded. That is, our Stage muſt be much more Licentious. For you are to obſerve that Mr. Dryden, and his Fraternity, have help'd to debauch the Town, and Poyſon their Pleaſures to an unuſual Degree: And therefore the Diet muſt be dreſs'd to the Palate of the Company. And ſince they are made Scepticks, they muſt be entertain'd as ſuch. That the Engliſh Amphitryon was contriv'd with this View is too plain to be better interpreted. To what purpoſe elſe does Jupiter appear in the ſhape of Jehovah? Why are the incommunicable Attributes burleſqu'd, and Omnipotence applyed to Acts of Infamy? To what end can ſuch Horrible ſtuff as this ſerve, unleſs to expoſe the Notion, and extinguiſh the Belief of a Deity? The Perfections of God, are Himſelf. To ​ridicule his Attributes and his Being, are but two words for the ſame Thing. Theſe Attributes are beſtow'd on Jupiter with great Prodigality, and afterwards execrably outrag'd. The Caſe being thus, the Cover of an Idol, is too thin a pretence to Screen the Blaſphemy. Nothing but Mr. Dryden's Abſolom and Achitophel can out-do This. Here I confeſs the Motion of his Pen is bolder, and the Strokes more Black'd. Here we have Blaſphemy on the top of the Letter, without any trouble of Inference, or Conſtruction. This Poem runs all upon Scripture Names, Upon Suppoſitions of the true Religion, and the right Object of Worſhip. Here Profaneſs is ſhut out from Defence, and lies open without Colour or Evaſion. Here are no Pagan Divinities in the Scheme, ſo that all the Atheiſtick Raillery muſt point upon the true God. In the beginning we are told that Abſalom was David's Natural Son: So then there's a blot in his Scutcheon and a Blemiſh upon his Birth. The Poet will make admirable uſe of this, remark preſently! This Abſalom it ſeems was very extraordinary in his Perſon and Performances. Mr. Dryden does not certainly know how this came about, and therefore enquires of himſelf in the firſt place,
Whether inſpired with a diviner Luſt, His Father got him——p. 1.
This is down right Defiance of the Living God! Here you have the very Eſſence and Spirit of Blaſphemy, and the Holy Ghoſt brought in upon the moſt hideous Occaſion. I queſtion whether the Torments and Deſpair of the Damn'd, dare venture at ſuch Flights as theſe. They are beyond Deſcription, I Pray God they may not be beyond Pardon too. I can't forbear ſaying, that the next bad Thing to the writing theſe Impieties, is to Suffer them. To return to Amphitryon. Phœbus and Mercury have Manners aſſign'd very diſagreeable to their Condition. The later abating Propriety of Language, talks more like a Water-man than a Deity. They rail againſt the Gods, and call Mars and Vulcan the two Fools of Heaven. Mercury is pert upon his Father Jupiter, makes jeſts upon his Pleaſures, and his Greatneſs, and is horribly ſmutty and profane.p. 3, 16, etc. And all this Miſbehaviour comes from him in his own ſhape, and in the ſublimity of his Character. Had He run Riot in the Diſguiſe of Sofia, the Diſcourſe and the Perſon had been better adjuſted, and the Extravagance more Pardonable. ​But here the Decorum is quite loſt. To ſee the Immortals play ſuch Gambols, and the biggeſt Beings do the leaſt Actions, is ſtrangely unnatural. An Emperour in the Grimaces of an Ape, or the Diverſions of a Kitten, would not be half ſo ridiculous. Now as Monſieur Rapin obſerves, without Decorum there can be no probability, nor without Probability any true Beauty. Nature muſt be minded, otherwiſe Things will look forced, tawdry, and chimerical. Mr. Dryden diſcourſes very handſomly on this occaſion in his Preface to Albion and Albanius.p. 1. He informs us, That Wit has been truly defin'd a propriety of Words and Thoughts.——That Propriety of Thought is that Fancy which ariſes naturally from the Subject. Why then without doubt, the Quality, of Characters ſhould be taken care of, and great Perſons appear like themſelves. Yes, yes, all this is granted by implication, and Mr. Dryden comes ſtill nearer to the preſent caſe. He tells us, that Propriety is to be obſerved, even in Machines; And that the Gods are all to manage their Peculiar Provinces. He inſtances in ſome of their reſpective Employments; but I don't find that any of them were to talk Lewdly. No. He plainly ſuppoſes the contrary. For as he goes on, If they were to ſpeak upon ​the Stage it would follow of neceſſity, that the Expreſſions ſhould be Lofty, Figurative, and Majeſtical. It ſeems then their Behaviour ſhould be agreeable to their Greatneſs. Why then are not theſe Rules obſerv'd, in the Machines of Amphitrion? As I take it, Obſcenity has not the Air of Majeſty, nor any Alliance with the Sublime. And as for the Figurative Part, 'tis generally of the ſame Cut with the Lofty: The Smut ſhines clear, and ſtrong, through the Metaphor, and is no better ſcreen'd than the Sun by a Glaſs Window. To uſe Mercury thus ill, and make the God of Eloquence ſpeak ſo unlike himſelf is ſomewhat ſtrange! But tho' the Antients knew nothing of it, there are Conſiderations above thoſe of Decency. And when this happens, A Rule muſt rather be treſpaſs'd on, than a Beauty left out. 'Tis Mr. Dryden's opinion in his Cleomenes, where he breaks the Unity of Time, to deſcribe the Beauty of a Famine.Pref. Now Beauty is an arbitrary Advantage, and depends upon Cuſtom and Fancy. With ſome People the Blackeſt Complexions are the handſomeſt. 'Tis to theſe African Criticks that Mr. Dryden ſeems to make his Appeal. And without doubt he beſpeaks their Favour, and ſtrikes their Imagination luckily enough. For to lodge Divinity and Scandal together; To make ​the Gods throw Stars, like Snow-balls at one another, but eſpecially to Court in Smut, and rally in Blaſphemy, is moſt admirably entertaining! This is much better than all the Niceties of Decorum. 'Tis handſomly contriv'd to ſlur the Notion of a Superiour Nature, to diſarm the Terrors of Religion, and make the Court Above as Romantick as that of the Fairies. A Libertine when his Conſcience is thus reliev'd, and Atheiſm ſits eaſie upon his Spirits, can't help being grateful upon the Occaſion. Meer Intereſt will oblige him to cry up the Performance, and ſolicit for the Poets Reputation! Before I take leave of theſe Machines, it may not be amiſs to enquire why the Gods are brought into the Spiritual Court.p. 1. Now I ſuppoſe the Creditableneſs of the Buſineſs, and the Poets Kindneſs to thoſe Places, are the principal Reaſons of their coming. However. He might have a farther Deſign in his Head, and that is, to bring Thebes to London, and to ſhow the Antiquity of Doctors Commons. For if you will believe Mercury, this Conference between him and Phœbus was held three thouſand years ago.19. Thus Shakeſpear makes Hector talk about Ariſtotles Philoſophy,Troil. and Creſſid. The Hiſt. of Sr. John Old Caſtle. and calls Sr. John Old Caſtle, Proteſtant. I had not mention'd this Diſcovery in Chronology, ​but that Mr. Dryden falls upon Ben Johnſon, for making Cataline give Fire at the Face of a Cloud, before Guns were invented.
By the Pattern of theſe pretended Deities, we may gueſs what ſort of Mortals we are likely to meet with. Neither are we miſtaken. For Phædra, is bad enough in all Conſcience, but Bromia is a meer Original. Indeed when Mr. Dryden makes Jupiter, and Jupiter makes the Women, little leſs can be expected. So much for Amphitrion.
I ſhall paſs on to King Arthur for a word or two.King Arthur. Now here is a ſtrange jumble and Hotch potch of Matters, if you mind it. Here we have Genii, and Angels, Cupids, Syrens, and Devils; Venus and St. George, Pan and the Parſon, the Hell of Heatheniſm, and the Hell of Revelation; A fit of Smut, and then a Jeſt about Original Sin. And why are Truth and Fiction, Heatheniſm and Chriſtianity, the moſt Serious and the moſt Trifling Things blended together, and thrown into one Form of Diverſion? Why is all this done unleſs it be to ridicule the whole, and make one as incredible as the other? His Airy and Earthy Spirits diſcourſe of the firſt ſtate of Devils, of their Chief of their Revolt, their Puniſhment, and ​Impoſtures. This Mr. Dryden very Religiouſly calls a Fairy way of Writing, which depends only on the Force of Imagination.Ep. Ded. What then is the Fall of the Angels a Romance? Has it no baſis of Truth, nothing to ſupport it, but ſtrength of Fancy, and Poetick Invention? After He had mention'd Hell, Devils, &c. and given us a ſort of Bible deſcription of theſe formidable Things; I ſay after he had formed his Poem in this manner, I am ſurprized to hear him call it a Fairy kind of Writing. Is the Hiſtory of Tophet no better prov'd than that of Styx? Is the Lake of Brimſtone and that of Phlegeton alike dreadful? And have we as much Reaſon to believe the Torments of Titius and Prometheus, as thoſe of the Devils and Damn'd? Theſe are lamentable Conſequences! And yet I can't well ſee how the Poet can avoid them. But ſetting aſide this miſerable Gloſs in the Dedication, the Repreſentation it ſelf is ſcandalouſly irreligious. To droll upon the Vengeance of Heaven, and the Miſeries of the Damn'd, is a ſad Inſtance of Chriſtianity! Thoſe that bring Devils upon the Stage, can hardly believe them any where elſe. Beſides, the Effects of ſuch an Entertainment muſt needs be admirable! To ſee Hell thus play'd with is a mighty Refreſhment to a lewd ​Conſcience, and a byaſs'd Underſtanding. It heartens the Young Libertine, and confirms the well-wiſhers to Atheiſm, and makes Vice bold, and enterpriſing. Such Diverſions ſerve to diſpel the Gloom, and guild the Horrors of the Shades below, and are a ſort of Enſurance againſt Damnation. One would think theſe Poets went upon abſolute Certainty, and could demonſtrate a Scheme of Infidelity. If they could, They had much better keep the Secret. The divulging it tends only to debauch Mankind, and ſhake the Securities of Civil Life. However, if they have been in the other World and find it empty, and uninhabited, and are acquainted with all the Powers, and Places, in Being; If they can ſhow the Impoſtures of Religion, and the Contradictions of Common Belief, they have ſomething to ſay for themſelves. Have they then infallible Proof and Mathematick Evidence for theſe Diſcoveries? No Man had ever the Confidence to ſay This; And if He ſhould, he would be but laughed at for his Folly. No Concluſions can exceed the Evidence of their Principles; you may as well build a Caſtle in the Air, as raiſe a Demonſtration upon a Bottom of Uncertainty. And is any Man ſo vain as to pretend to know the Extent of Nature, and the Stretch of Poſſibility, ​and the Force of the Powers Inviſible? So that notwithſtanding the Boldneſs of this Opera, there may be ſuch a Place as Hell; And if ſo, a Diſcourſe about Devils, will be no Fairy way of Writing. For a Fairy way of Writing, is nothing but a Hiſtory of Fiction; A ſubject of Imaginary Beings; ſuch as never had any exiſtence in Time, or Nature. And if as Monſieur Rapin obſerves, Poetry requires a mixture of Truth and Fable; Mr. Dryden may make his advantage, for his Play is much better founded on Reality than He was aware of.
It may not be improper to conſider in a word or two, what a frightfull Idea the Holy Scriptures give us of Hell. 'Tis deſcrib'd by all the Circumſtances of Terror, by every Thing dreadful to Senſe, and amazing to Thought. The Place, the Company, the Duration, are all Conſiderations of Aſtoniſhment. And why has God given us this ſolemn warning? Is it not to awaken our Fears, and guard our Happineſs; To reſtrain the Diſorders of Appetite, and to keep us within Reaſon, and Duty? And as for the Apoſtate Angels, the Scriptures inform us of their loſt Condition, of their Malice and Power, of their active Induſtry and Experience; and all theſe Qualities ​Correſpondent to the Bulk of their Nature, the Antiquity of their Being, and the Miſery of their State. In ſhort, They are painted in all the formidable Appearances imaginable, to alarm our Caution, and put us upon the utmoſt Defence.
Let us ſee now how Mr. Dryden repreſents theſe unhappy Spirits, and their Place of Abode. Why very entertainingly! Thoſe that have a true Taſt for Atheiſm were never better regaled. One would think by this Play the Devils were meer Mormo's and Bugbears, fit only to fright Children and Fools. They rally upon Hell and Damnation, with a great deal of Air and Pleaſantry; and appear like Robin Good-fellow, only to make the Company laugh. Philidel: Is call'd a Puling Sprite. And why ſo? For this pious reaſon, becauſe
He trembles at the yawning Gulph of Hell, Nor dares approach the Flames leaſt he ſhould Singe His gaudy ſilken Wings. He ſighs when he ſhould plunge a Soul in Sulphur, As with Compaſſion touch'd of Fooliſh Man.p. 6.
The anſwer is, What a half Devil's he.
​You ſee how admirably it runs all upon the Chriſtian Scheme! Sometimes they are Half-Devils, and ſometimes Hopeful-Devils, and what you pleaſe to make ſport with. Grimbald is afraid of being whooped through Hell at his return, for miſcarrying in his Buſineſs. It ſeems there is great Leiſure for Diverſion! There's Whooping in Hell, inſtead of Weeping and Wailing! One would fancy Mr. Dryden had Daylight and Company, when theſe Lines were written. I know his Courage is extraordinary; But ſure ſuch Thoughts could never bear up againſt Solitude and a Candle!
And now ſince he has diverted himſelf with the Terrors of Chriſtianity, I dont wonder he, ſhould treat thoſe that Preach them with ſo much Civility! enter Poet in the Habit of a Peaſant.
We ha' cheated the Parſon we'el cheat him again, For why ſhould a Blockhead have one in ten? For prating ſo long like a Booklearned Sot, Till Pudding, and Dumpling burn to pot.
Theſe are fine comprehenſive ſtroaks! Here you have the Iliads in a Nutſhell! Two or three courtly words take in the whole Clergy; And what is wanting in ​Wit, is made up in Abuſe, and that's as well. This is an admirable Harveſt Catch, and the poor Tith-ſtealers ſtand highly indebted. They might have been tired with Cheating in Proſe, had not they not been thus ſeaſonably releiv'd in Doggrell! But now there is Muſick in playing the Knave. A Countryman now may fill his Barn, and humour his ill Manners, and ſing his Conſcience aſleep, and all under one. I dont queſtion but theſe four Lines ſteal many a Pound in the year. Whether the Muſe ſtands indictable or not, the Law muſt determine: But after all, I muſt ſay the Deſign is notably laid. For Place and Perſon, for Reliſh and Convenience; nothing could have been better. The Method is very ſhort, clear, and Practicable. 'Tis a fine portable Infection, and coſts no more Carriage than the Plague.
Well! the Clergy muſt be contented: It might poſſibly have been worſe for them if they had been in his favour: For he has ſometimes a very unlucky way of ſhowing his Kindneſs. He commends the Earl of Leiceſter for conſidering the Friend, more than the Cauſe;Ep. Ded. Don Sebaſt. Ded. King Arthur. that is, for his Partiality; The Marqueſs of Halifax for quitting the Helm, at the approach of a Storm; As if Pilots were made only for fair ​Weather. 'Tis Preſum'd theſe Noble Perſons are unconcern'd in this Character. However the Poet has ſhown his ſkill in Panegyrick, and 'tis only for that I mention it. He commends Atticus for his Trimming, and Tally for his Cowardize, and ſpeaks meanly of the Bravery of Cato.Sebaſt. K. Arth. Ibid. Afterwards he profeſſes his Zeal for the Publick welfare, and is pleas'd to ſee the Nation ſo well ſecur'd from Foreign Attempts &c. However he is in ſome pain about the Coming of the Gauls; 'Tis poſſible for fear they ſhould invade the Muſes, and carry the Opera's into Captivity, and deprive us of the Ornaments of Peace.
And now He has ſerv'd his Friends, he comes in the laſt place like a modeſt Man, to commend Himſelf. He tells us there were a great many Beauties in the Original Draught of this Play. But it ſeems Time has ſince tarniſh'd their Complexion. And He gives Heroick Reaſons for their not appearing. To ſpeak Truth, (all Politicks apart,) there are ſtrange Flights of Honour, and Conſiſtencies of Pretention in this Dedication! But I ſhall forbear the Blazon of the Atcheivment, for fear I ſhould commend as unluckily as Himſelf.
SECT. II.
Remarks upon Don Quixot, &c.
Mr. Durfey being ſomewhat particular in his Genius and Civilities, I ſhall conſider him in a word or two by himſelf. This Poet writes from the Romance of an ingenious Author: By this means his Senſe, and Characters are cut out to his Hand. He has wiſely planted himſelf upon the ſhoulders of a Giant; but whether his Diſcoveries anſwer the advantage of his ſtanding, the Reader muſt judge.
What I have to object againſt Mr. Durfey ſhall moſt of it be ranged under theſe three Heads.
I. His Profaneſs with reſpect to Religion and the Holy Scriptures.
II. His Abuſe of the Clergy.
III. His want of Modeſty and Regard to the Audience.
I. His Profaneſs, &c.
And here my firſt Inſtance ſhall be in a bold Song againſt Providence.
Providence that formed the Fair In ſuch a charming Skin, Their Outſide made his only care, And never look'd within.Part 1ſt. p. 20.
Here the Poet tells you Providence makes Mankind by halves, huddles up the Soul, and takes the leaſt care of the better Moyety. This is direct blaſpheming the Creation, and a Satir upon God Almighty. His next advance is to droll upon the Reſurrection.
Sleep and indulge thy ſelf with Reſt, Nor dream thou e're ſhalt riſe again.p. 20.
His Third Song makes a jeſt of the Fall, rails upon Adam and Eve, and burleſques the Conduct of God Almighty for not making Mankind over again.
When the World firſt knew Creation,p. 37. A Rogue was a Top-Profeſſion, When there was no more in all Nature but Four, There were two of them in Tranſgreſſion.
He that firſt to mend the Matter, Made Laws to bind our Nature, Should have found a way, To make Wills obey, And have Modell'd new the Creature.
​In this and the following page, the Redemption of the World is treated with the ſame reſpect with the Creation. The word Redeemer, which among Chriſtians is appropriated to our Bleſſed Saviour, and like the Jewiſh Tetragrammaton peculiarly reſerv'd to the Deity; This adorable Name (Redeemer and Dear Redeemer,) is applyed to the ridiculous Don Quixote. Theſe Inſolencies are too big for the Correction of a Pen, and therefore I ſhall leave them. After this horrible abuſe of the Works, and Attributes of God, he goes on to make ſport with his Vengeance. He makes the Torments of Hell a very Comical Entertainment: As if they were only Flames in Painting, and Terrors in Romance. The Stygian Frogs in Ariſtophanes are not repreſented with more Levity, and Drolling. That the Reader may ſee I do him no wrong, I ſhall quote the places which is the main Reaſon why I have tranſcrib'd the reſt of his Profaneſs.
Appear ye fat Feinds that in Limbo do groan, That were when in Fleſh the ſame ſouls with his own: You that always in Lucifers Kitchin reſide, 'Mongſt Sea-coal and Kettles, and Greaſe newly try'd: That pamper'd each day with a Garbidge of Souls, Broil Raſhers of Fools for a Breakfaſt on Coals.
In the Epilogue you have the Hiſtory of Balaam's Aſs expoſed, and the Beaſt brought upon the Stage to laugh at the Miracle the better;
And as 'tis ſaid a parlous Aſs once ſpoke, When Crab-tree Cudgel did his rage provoke. So if you are not civil,——I fear He'el ſpeak again.——
In the ſecond Part the Devil is brought upon the Stage.p. 13. He cries as he hopes to be Saved. And Sancho warrants him a good Chriſtian. Truly I think he may have more of Chriſtianity in him than the Poet. For he trembles at that God, with whom the other makes Diverſion.
I ſhall omit the mention of ſeveral outrages of this Kind, beſides his deep mouth'd ſwearing, which is frequent, and paſs on to the Second Head, which is His Abuſe of the Clergy. And ſince Reveal'd Religion has been thus horribly treated, ​'tis no Wonder if the Miniſters of it have the ſame Uſage.
And here we are likely to meet with ſome paſſages extraordinary enough. For to give Mr. Durfey his due, when he meddles with Church men he lays about him like a Knight Errant: Here his Wit and his Malice, are generally in extreams, tho' not of the ſame Kind. To begin. He makes the Curate Perez aſſiſt at the ridiculous Ceremony of Don Quixots Knighting.Part. 1. p. 13. Afterwards Squire Sancho confeſſing his miſtake to Quixote, tells him, Ah conſider dear Sir no man is born wiſe. And what if he was born wiſe? He may be Bred a Fool, if he has not a care. But how does he prove this Memorable Sentence? Becauſe a Biſhop is no more than another man without Grace and Good Breeding. I muſt needs ſay if the Poet had any ſhare of either of theſe Qualities, he would be leſs bold with his Superiors; and not give his Clowns the Liberty to droll thus heavily upon a ſolemn Character. This Sancho Mr. Durfey takes care to inform us is a dry ſhrewd Country Fellow, The reaſon of this Character is for the ſtrength of it ſomewhat ſurpriſing.Perſon. Dram. 'Tis becauſe he blunders out Proverbs upon all Occaſions, tho' never ſo far from the purpoſe. Now if blundring and talking nothing ​to the purpoſe, is an argument of Shrewdneſs; ſome Peoples Plays are very ſhrewd Performances. To proceed. Sancho complains of his being married, becauſe it hindred him from better offers. Perez the Curate is ſorry for this Miſfortune. For as I remember ſays he 'twas my luck to give Tereſa and you the Bleſſing. To this Sancho replies. A Plague on your Bleſſing! I perceive I ſhall have reaſon to wiſh you hang'd for your Bleſſing——Good finiſher of Fornication, good Conjunction Copulative.p. 51. For this irreverence and Profaneſs Perez threatens him with Excommunication. Sancho tells him, I care not, I ſhall loſe nothing by it but a nap in the Afternoon. In his Second Part, Jodolet a Prieſt is call'd a Holy Cormorant, and made to diſpatch half a Turkey, and a Bottle of Malaga for his Breakfaſt.p. 3. Here one Country Girl chides another for her ſawcyneſs. D'ee (ſays ſhe) make a Pimp of a Prieſt? Sancho interpoſes with his uſual ſhrewdneſs: A Pimp of a Prieſt, why is that ſuch a Miracle? In the Second Scene the Poet Provides himſelf another Prieſt to abuſe.p. 7. Mannel the Steward calls Bernardo the Chaplain Mr. Cuff-Cuſhion, and tells him a Whore is a Pulpit he loves.——In ſettling the Characters Mannel is given out for a witty pleaſant Fellow. And now you ſee he comes up to Expectation. To the Blind all Colours ​are alike, and Rudeneſs, and Raillery are the ſame thing!p. 10. Afterwards, Bernardo ſays Grace upon the Stage; and I ſuppoſe Prays to God to bleſs the Entertainment of the Devil. Before they riſe from Table, the Poet contrives a Quarrel between Don Quixot and Bernardo. The Prieſt railes on the Knight, and calls him Don Coxcomb &c. By this time you may imagine the Knight heartily Provok'd, ready to buckle on his Baſon, and draw out for the Combat, Let us hear his Reſentment.
Don Quix. Oh thou old black Fox with a Fire brand in thy Tail, thou very Prieſt: Thou Kindler of all Miſcheifs in all Nations. De'e hear Homily: Did not the Reverence I bear theſe Nobles——I would ſo thrum your Caſſock you Church Vermin.p. 41.
At laſt he bids Bernardo adieu in Language too Profane and Scandalous to relate.p. 47. In the Fourth Act His Song calls the Clergy Black Cattle, and ſays no Body now minds what they ſay. I could alledge more of his Courtſhip to the Order, but the Reader might poſſibly be tired, and therefore I ſhall proceed in the
Third, place to his want of Modeſty, and Regard to the Audience. As for Smut Sancho and Tereſa talk it broad, and ſingle ſens'd, for almoſt a page together.Part. 1ſt. p. 7, 8. pt. 2d. p. 57. Mary the Buxſom has likewiſe her ſhare ​of this Accompliſhment. The firſt Epilogue is Garniſh'd with a Couplet of it;pt. 2d. p. 60; Marcella the Maiden Shepherdeſs raves in Raptures of Indecency; And ſometimes you have it mixt up with Profaneſs, to make the Compoſition the ſtronger.pt. 1ſt. p. 38. pt. 2d. p. 14. But this entertainment being no Novelty, I ſhall paſs it over; And the rather becauſe there are ſome other Rarities which are not to be met with elſe where.
Here he diverts the Ladies with the Charming Rhetorick of Snotty-Noſe, filthy Vermin in the Beard, Nitty Jerkin, and Louſe Snapper, with the Letter in the Chamber-pot, and natural Evacuation;pt. 1ſt. p. 7, 8. pt. 2d. p. 52. pt. 2d. p. 36, 49. pt. 2d. p. 37. 44. with an abuſive deſcription of a Counteſs, and a rude ſtory of a certain Lady, and with ſome other varieties of this Kind, too coarſe to be named. This is rare ſtuff for Ladies, and Quality! There is more of Phyſick, than Comedy in ſuch Sentences as theſe. Crocus Metallorum will ſcarſe turn the Stomack more effectually. 'Tis poſſible Mr. Durfey might deſign it for a Receipt. And being Conſcious the Play was too dear, threw a Vomit into the Bargain.Pref. pt. 3d. I wonder Mr. Durfey ſhould have no more regard to the Boxes and Pitt! That a Man who has ſtudied the Scenes of Decency and Good Manners with ſo much Zeal, ſhould practiſe with ſo little Addreſs! Certainly indefatigable Diligence, ​Care and Pains, was never more unfortunate!Ibid. In his third Part, Buxſome ſwears faſter, and is more ſcandalous, and impertinent, than in the other two. At theſe Liberties, and ſome in Sancho, the Ladies took Check. This Cenſure Mr. Durfey ſeems heartily ſorry for. He is extreamly concern'd that the Ladies, that Eſſential part of the Audience, ſhould think his Performance nauſeous and undecent.Pref. That is, he is very ſorry they brought their Wits, or their Modeſty along with them. However Mr. Durfey is not ſo Ceremonious as to ſubmit: He is reſolved to keep the Field againſt the Ladies; And endeavours to defend himſelf by ſaying, I know no other way in Nature to do the Characters right, but to make a Romp, ſpeak like a Romp, and a clowniſh Boor blunder &c.Ibid.
By his favour, all Imitations tho' never ſo well Counterfeited are not proper for the Stage. To preſent Nature under every Appearance would be an odd undertaking. A Midnight Cart, or a Dunghil would be no Ornamental Scene. Naſtyneſs, and dirty Converſation are of the ſame kind. For Words are a Picture to the Ear, as Colours and Surface are to the Eye. Such Diſcourſes are like dilating upon Ulcers, and Leproſies: The more ​Natural, the worſe; for the Diſguſt always riſes with the Life of the Deſcription. Offenſive Language like offenſive Smells, does but make a Man's Senſes a burthen, and affords him nothing but Loathing and Averſion. Beaſtlineſs in Behaviour, gives a diſparaging Idea of Humane Nature, and almoſt makes us ſorry we are of the ſame Kind. For theſe reaſons 'tis a Maxime in Good Breeding never to ſhock the Senſes, or Imagination. This Rule holds ſtrongeſt before Women, and eſpecially when they come to be entertain'd. The Diverſion ought to be ſuited to the Audience; For nothing pleaſes which is diſproportion'd to Capacity, and Guſt. The Rudeneſſes and broad Jeſts of Beggars, are juſt as acceptable to Ladies as their Rags, and Cleanlineſs. To treat Perſons of Condition like the Mob, is to degrade their Birth, and affront their Breeding. It levells them with the loweſt Education. For the ſize of a Man's Senſe, and Improvement, is diſcovered by his Pleaſures, as much as by any thing elſe.
But to remove from Scenes of Decency, to Scenes of Wit. And here Mannel and Sancho, two pleaſant ſharp Fellows, will divert us extreamly.Perſon. Dram. Mannel in the Diſguiſe of a Lady addreſſes the Dutcheſs in this ​manner. Illuſtrious Beauty——I muſt deſire to know whether the moſt purifidiferous Don Quixote of the Manchiſſima, and his Squireiferous Panca, be in this Company or no. This is the Ladies ſpeech! Now comes Sancho. Why look you forſooth, without any more Flouriſhes, the Governour Panca is here, and Don Quixotiſſimo too; therefore moſt afflictediſſimous Matroniſſima, ſpeak what you williſſimus, for we are all ready to be your Servitoriſſimus.pt. 2d. p. 31.
I dare not go on, for fear of overlaying the Reader. He may cloy himſelf at his Leiſure. The Scene between the Taylor and Gardiner, lies much in the ſame Latitude of Underſtanding.p. 51.
The Third Part preſents a ſet of Poppets, which is a Thought good enough; for this Play is only fit to move upon Wires. 'Tis pity theſe little Machines appear'd no ſooner, for then the Senſe, and the Actors had been well adjuſted. In explaining the Perſons, He acquaints us that Caraſco is a Witty Man. I can't tell what the Gentleman might be in other Places, but I'm Satiſfied he is a Fool in his Play. But ſome Poets are as great Judges of Wit, as they are an inſtance; And have the Theory and the Practiſe juſt alike.
Mr. Durfeys Epiſtles Dedicatory are to the full as diverting as his Comedies. A little of them may not be amiſs.
​In his firſt, He thus addreſſes the Dutches of Ormond. 'Tis Madam from your Graces Proſperous Influence that I date my Good Fortune. To Date from time and Place, is vulgar and ordinary, and many a Letter has miſcarried with it: But to do it from an Influence, is Aſtrological, and ſurprizing, and agrees extreamly with the Hemiſphere of the Play-houſe.Pref. pt. 1ſt. Ibid. Theſe Flights one would eaſily imagine were the Poor Off-ſpring of Mr. Durfey's Brain, as he very judiciouſly phraſes it.
One Paragraph in his Dedication to Mr. Montague is perfect Quixotiſm; One would almoſt think him enchanted. I'll give the Reader a Taſt.
Had your Eye's ſhot the haughty Auſterity upon me of a right Courtier,——your valued minutes had never been diſturb'd with dilatory Trifles of this Nature, but my Heart on dull Conſideration of your Merit, had ſupinely wiſh'd you proſperity at a Diſtance.pt. 3d. I'm afraid the Poet was under ſome Apprehenſions of the Temper he complains of. For to my thinking, there is a great deal of Supineſs, and dull Conſideration in theſe Periods. He tells his Patron his Smiles have embolden'd him. I confeſs I can't ſee how He could forbear ſmiling at ſuch Entertainment. However Mr. Durfey takes Things by the beſt Handle, and is reſolv'd ​to be happy in his Interpretation. But to be ſerious. Were I the Author, I would diſcharge my Muſe unleſs ſhe prov'd kinder. His way is rather to cultivate his Lungs, and Sing to other Peoples Senſe; For to finiſh him in a word, he is Vox, & præterea nihil. I ſpeak this only on Suppoſition that the reſt of his Performances are like Theſe. Which becauſe I have not peruſed I can judge of no farther than by the Rule of ex pede Herculem. I ſhall conclude with Monſieur Boileau's Art of Poetry. This citation may poſſibly be of ſome ſervice to Mr. Durfey; For if not concern'd in the Application, he may at leaſt be precaution'd by the Advice.
The Tranſlation runs thus.
I like an Author that Reforms the Age; And keeps the right Decorum of the Stage: That always pleaſes by juſt Reaſons Rule: But for a tedious Droll a Quibbling Fool, Who with low nauſeous Baudry fills his Plays; Let him begone and on two Treſſells raiſe Some Smithfield Stage, where he may act his Pranks, And make Jack-puddings ſpeak to Mountebanks.p. 53.
SECT. III.
Remarks upon the Relapſe.
The Relapſe ſhall follow Don Quixot; upon the account of ſome Alliance between them. And becauſe this Author ſwaggers ſo much in his Preface, and ſeems to look big upon his Performance, I ſhall ſpend a few more thoughts than ordinary upon his Play, and examine it briefly in the Fable, the Moral, the Characters, &c. The Fable I take to be as follows.
Faſhion a Lewd, Prodigal, younger Brother; is reduced to extremity: Upon his arrival from his Travels, he meets with Coupler, an old ſharping Match-maker; This Man puts him upon a project of cheating his Elder Brother Lord Foplington, of a rich Fortune. Young Faſhion being refuſed a Summ of Money by his Brother, goes into Couplers Plot, bubbles Sir Tunbelly of his Daughter, and makes himſelf Maſter of a fair Eſtate.
From the Form and Conſtitution of the Fable, I obſerve
1ſt. That there is a Miſnommer in the Title. The Play ſhould not have been call'd the Relapſe, or Virtue in Danger: ​Lovelace, and Amanda, from whoſe Characters theſe Names are drawn, are Perſons of Inferiour Conſideration. Lovelace ſinks in the middle of the Fourth Act, and we hear no more of him till towards the End of the Fifth, where he enters once more, but then 'tis as Cato did the Senate houſe, only to go out again. And as for Amanda ſhe has nothing to do but to ſtand a ſhock of Courtſhip, and carry off her Virtue. This I confeſs is a great taſk in the Play-houſe, but no main matter in the Play.
The Intrigue, and the Diſcovery, the great Revolution and ſucceſs, turns upon Young Faſhion. He without Competition, is the Principal Perſon in the Comedy. And therefore the Younger Brother, or the Fortunate Cheat, had been much a more proper Name. Now when a Poet can't rig out a Title Page, 'tis but a bad ſign of his holding out to the Epilogue.
2ly. I obſerve the Moral is vitious: It points the wrong way, and puts the Prize into the wrong Hand. It ſeems to make Lewdneſs the reaſon of Deſert, and gives Young Faſhion a ſecond Fortune, only for Debauching away his Firſt. A ſhort view of his Character, will make good this Reflection. To begin with him: He confeſſes himſelf a Rake, ſwears, and ​Blaſphemes, Curſes, and Challenges his Elder Brother, cheats him of his Miſtreſs, and gets him laid by the Heels in a Dog-Kennel. And what was the ground of all this unnatural quarrelling and outrage? Why the main of it was only becauſe Lord Foplington refuſed to ſupply his Luxury, and make good his Extravagance. This Young Faſhion after all, is the Poets Man of Merit. He provides, a Plot and a Fortune, on purpoſe for him. To ſpeak freely, A Lewd Character ſeldom wants good Luck in Comedy. So that when ever you ſee a thorough Libertine, you may almoſt ſwear he is in a riſing way, and that the Poet intends to make him a great Man. In ſhort; This Play perverts the End of Comedy: Which as Monſieur Rapin obſerves ought to regard Reformation, and publick Improvement. But the Relapſer had a more faſhionable Fancy in his Head.Reflect, &c. p. 131. His Moral holds forth this notable Inſtruction.
1ſt. That all Younger Brothers ſhould be careful to run out their Circumſtances as Faſt, and as Ill as they can. And when they have put their Affairs in this poſture of Advantage, they may conclude themſelves in the high Road to Wealth, and Succeſs. For as Faſhion Blaſphemouſly applies it, Providence takes care of Men of Merit.Relapſe. p. 19
​2ly. That when a Man is preſs'd, his buſineſs is not to be govern'd by Scruples, or formalize upon Conſcience and Honeſty. The quickeſt Expedients are the beſt; For in ſuch caſes the Occaſion juſtifies the Means, and a Knight of the Poſt, is as good as one of the Garter. In the
3d. Place it may not be improper to look a little into the Plot. Here the Poet ought to play the Politician if ever. This part ſhould have ſome ſtroaks, of Conduct, and ſtrains of Invention more then ordinary. There ſhould be ſomething that is admirable, and unexpected to ſurprize the Audience. And all this Fineſs muſt work by gentle degrees, by a due preparation of Incidents, and by Inſtruments which are probable.Reflect. p. 133. 'Tis Mr. Rapins remark, that without probability every Thing is lame and Faulty. Where there is no pretence to Miracle and Machine, matters muſt not exceed the force of Beleif. To produce effects without proportion; and likelyhood in the Cauſe, is Farce, and Magick, and looks more like Conjuring than Conduct. Let us examine the Relapſer by theſe Rules. To diſcover his Plot, we muſt lay open ſomewhat more of the Fable.
'Lord Foplington a Town Beau, had agreed to Marry the Daughter of Sir. ​Tun-belly Clumſey a Country Gentleman, who lived Fifty miles from London. Notwithſtanding this ſmall diſtance, the Lord had never ſeen his Miſtreſs, nor the Knight his Son in Law. Both parties out of their great Wiſdom, leave the treating the Match to Coupler. When all the preliminaries of Settlement were adjuſted, and Lord Foplington expected by Sir Tun-belly in a few days, Coupler betrays his Truſt to Young Faſhion. He adviſes him to go down before his Brother: To Counterfeit his Perſon, and pretend that the ſtrength of his Inclinations brought him thither before his time, and without his Retinue. And to make him paſs upon Sir Tun-belly, Coupler gives him his Letter, which was to be Lord Foplingtons Credential. Young Faſhion thus provided, poſts down to Sir Tun-belly, is received for Lord Foplington, and by the help of a little Folly and Knavery in the Family, Marries the young Lady without her Fathers Knowledge, and a week before the Appointment.
This is the Main of the Contrivance. The Counterturn in Lord Foplingtons appearing afterwards, and the Support of the main Plot, by Bulls, and Nurſes atteſting the Marriage, contain's little of Moment. And here we may obſerve that ​Lord Foplington has an unlucky Diſagreement in his Character; This Miſfortune ſits hard upon the credibility of the Deſign. Tis true he was Formal and Fantaſtick, Smitten with Dreſs, and Equipage, and it may be vapour'd by his Perfumes But his Behaviour is far from that of an Ideot.p. 27. This being granted, 'tis very unlikely this Lord with his five Thouſand pounds per annum, ſhould leave the choiſe of his Miſtreſs to Coupler, and take her Perſon and Fortune upon Content. To court thus blindfold, and by Proxy, does not agree with the Method of an Eſtate, nor the Niceneſs of a Beau. However the Poet makes him engage Hand over Head, without ſo much as the ſight of her Picture.p. 79. His going down to Sir Tun-belly was as extraordinary as his Courtſhip. He had never ſeen this Gentleman. He muſt know him to be beyond Meaſure ſuſpicious, and that there was no Admittance without Couplers Letter. This Letter which was, the Key to the Caſtle, he forgot to take with him, and tells you 'twas ſtolen by his Brother Tam. And for his part he neither had the Diſcretion to get another, nor yet to produce that written by him to Sir Tun-belly.Ibid. Had common Senſe been conſulted upon this Occaſion, the Plot had been at an End, and the Play had ſunk ​in the Fourth Act. The Remainder ſubſiſts purely upon the ſtrength of Folly, and of Folly altogether improbable, and out of Character. The Salvo of Sir John Friendly's appearing at laſt, and vouching for Lord Foplington, won't mend the matter. For as the Story informs us, Lord Foplington never depended on this Reſerve.p. 81. He knew nothing of this Gentleman being in the Country, nor where he Lived. The truth is, Sir John was left in Town, and the Lord had neither concerted his journey with him, nor engaged his Aſſiſtance.p. 83.
Let us now ſee how Sir. Tun-belly hangs together. This Gentleman the Poet makes a Juſtice of Peace, and a Deputy Lieutenant, and ſeats him fifty Miles from London: But by his Character you would take him for one of Hercules's Monſters, or ſome Gyant in Guy of Warwick. His Behaviour is altogether Romance, and has nothing agreeable to Time, or Country. When Faſhion, and Lory, went down, they find the Bridge drawn up, the Gates barr'd, and the Blunderbuſs cock'd at the firſt civil Queſtion. And when Sir Tun-belly had notice of this formidable Appearance, he Sallies out with the Poſſe of the Family, and marches againſt a Couple of Strangers with a Life Gaurd of Halberds, Sythes, ​and Pitchforks. And to make ſure work, Young Hoyden is lock'd up at the firſt approach of the Enemy. Here you have prudence and warineſs to the exceſs of Fable, and Frenſy. And yet this mighty man of ſuſpition, truſts Coupler with the Diſpoſal of his only Daughter, and his Eſtate into the Bargain. And what was this Coupler? Why, a ſharper by Character, and little better by Profeſſion. Farther. Lord Foplington and the Knight, are but a days Journey aſunder, and yet by their treating by Proxy, and Commiſſion, one would Fancy a dozen Degrees of Latitude betwixt them. And as for Young Faſhion, excepting Couplers Letter, he has all imaginable Marks of Impoſture upon him. He comes before his Time, and without the Retinue expected, and has nothing of the Air of Lord Foplington's Converſation. When Sir Tun-belly aſk'd him, pray where are your Coaches and Servants my Lord? He makes a trifling excuſe. Sir, that I might give you and your Fair Daughter a proof how impatient I am to be nearer akin to you, I left my Equipage to follow me, and came away Poſt, with only one Servant.p. 59. To be in ſuch a Hurry of Inclination for a Perſon he never ſaw, is ſomewhat ſtrange! Beſides, 'tis very unlikely Lord Foplington ſhould hazard his ​Complexion on Horſeback, out ride his Figure, and appear a Bridegroom in Deſhabille. You may as ſoon perſwade a Peacock out of his Train, as a Beau out of his Equipage; eſpecially upon ſuch an Occaſion. Lord Foplington would ſcarſely ſpeak to his Brother juſt come a Shore, till the Grand Committee of Taylors, Seamtreſſes, &c. was diſpatch'd.p. 11. Pomp, and Curioſity were this Lords Inclination; why then ſhould he mortifie without neceſſity, make his firſt Approaches thus out of Form and preſent himſelf to his Miſtreſs at ſuch Diſadvantage? And as this is the Character of Lord Foplington, ſo 'tis reaſonable to ſuppoſe Sir Tunbelly acquainted with it. An enquiry into the Humour and management of a Son in Law, is very natural and Cuſtomary. So that we can't without Violence to Senſe, ſuppoſe Sir Tunbelly a Stranger to Lord Foplington's Singularities. Theſe Reaſons were enough in all Conſcience to make Sir Tunbelly ſuſpect a Juggle, and that Faſhion was no better then a Counterfeit. Why then was the Credential ſwallow'd without chewing, why was not Hoyden lock'd up, and a pauſe made for farther Enquiry? Did this Juſtice never hear of ſuch a Thing as Knavery, or had he ever greater reaſon to guard againſt it? More wary ſteps ​might well have been expected from Sir Tunbelly. To run from one extream of Caution, to another of Credulity, is highly improbable. In ſhort, either Lord Foplington and Sir Tunbelly are Fools, or they are not. If they are, where lies the Cunning in over-reaching them? What Conqueſt can there be without Oppoſition? If they are not Fools, why does the Poet make them ſo? Why is their Conduct ſo groſs, ſo particolour'd, and inconſiſtent? Take them either way, and the Plot miſcarries. The firſt ſuppoſition makes it dull, and the later, incredible. So much for the Plot. I ſhall now in the
4th. Place touch briefly upon the Manners.
The Manners in the Language of the Stage have a ſignification ſomewhat particular. Ariſtotle and Rapin call them the Cauſes and Principles of Action. They are formed upon the Diverſities of Age, and Sex, of Fortune, Capacity, and Education. The propriety of Manners conſiſts in a Conformity of Practiſe, and Principle; of Nature, and Behaviour. For the purpoſe. An old Man muſt not appear with the Profuſeneſs and Levity of Youth; A Gentleman muſt not talk like a Clown, nor a Country Girl like a Town Jilt. And when the Characters are feign'd ​'tis Horace's Rule to keep them Uniform, and conſiſtent, and agreeable to their firſt ſetting out. The Poet muſt be careful to hold his Perſons tight to their Calling and pretentions. He muſt not ſhift, and ſhuffle, their Underſtandings; Let them ſkip from Wits to Blockheads, nor from Courtiers to Pedants; On the other hand. If their buſineſs is playing the Fool, keep them ſtrictly to their Duty, and never indulge them in fine Sentences. To manage otherwiſe, is to deſert Nature, and makes the Play appear monſtrous, and Chimerical. So that inſtead of an Image of Life, 'tis rather an Image of Impoſſibility. To apply ſome of theſe remarks to the Relapſer.
The fine Berinthia, one of the Top-Characters, is impudent and Profane. Lovelace would engage her Secrecy, and bids her Swear. She anſwers I do.
Lov. By what?
Berinth. By Woman.
Lov. That's Swearing by my Deity, do it by your own, or I ſhan't believe you.
Berinth. By Man then.p. 47.
This Lady promiſes Worthy her Endeavours to corrupt Amanda; and then They make a Profane jeſt upon the Office.p. 51. In the progreſs of the Play after a great deal of Lewd Diſcourſe with Lovelace, ​Berinthia is carried off into a Cloſet, and Lodged in a Scene of Debauch.p. 74. Here is Decency, and Reſervedneſs, to a great exactneſs! Monſieur Rapin blames Arioſto, and Taſſo, for repreſenting two of their Women over free, and airy.Reflect. p. 40. Theſe Poets ſays he, rob Women of their Character, which is Modeſty. Mr. Rymer is of the ſame Opinion: His words are theſe. Nature knows nothing in the Manners which ſo properly, and particularly diſtinguiſh a Woman, as her Modeſty.——An impudent Woman is fit only to be kicked, and expos'd in Comedy.Tragedies of the laſt Age conſider'd, &c. p. 113, 114.
Now Berinthia appears in Comedy 'tis true; but neither to be kick'd, nor expos'd. She makes a Conſiderable Figure, has good Uſage, keeps the beſt Company, and goes off without Cenſure, or Diſadvantage. Let us now take a Turn or two with Sir Tun-belly's Heireſs of 1500 pounds a year. This Young Lady ſwears, talks ſmut, and is upon the matter juſt as rag-manner'd as Mary the Buxſome. 'Tis plain the Relapſer copyed Mr. Durfey's Original, which is a ſign he was ſomewhat Pinch'd. Now this Character was no great Beauty in Buxſome; But it becomes the Knights Daughter much worſe. Buxſome was a poor Peſant, which made her Rudeneſs more natural, and expected. But Deputy Lieutenants Children don't ​uſe to appear with the Behaviour of Beggars. To breed all People alike, and make no diſtinction between a Seat, and a Cottage, is not over artful, nor very ceremonious to the Country Gentlemen. The Relapſer gives Miſs a pretty Soliloquy, I'll tranſcribe it for the Reader.
She ſwears by her Maker, 'tis well I have a Huſband a coming, or I'de Marry the Baker I would ſo. No body can knock at the Gate, but preſently I muſt be lock'd up, and, here's the Young Gray-hound——can run looſe about the Houſe all day long, ſhe can, 'tis very well!!p. 59. Afterwards her Language is too Lewd to be quoted. Here is a Compound of Ill Manners, and Contradiction Is this a good Reſemblance of Quality, a Deſcription of a great Heireſs, and the effect of a Cautious Education? By her Coarſneſs you would think her Bred upon a Common, and by her Confidence, in the Nurſery of the Play-houſe. I ſuppoſe the Relapſer Fancies the calling her Miſs Hoyden is enough to juſtifie her Ill Manners. By his favour, this is a Miſtake. To repreſent her thus unhewn, he ſhould have ſuited her Condition to her Name, a little better. For there is no Charm in Words as to matters of Breeding, An unfaſhionable Name won't make a Man a Clown. Education is not form'd upon ​Sounds, and Syllables, but upon Circumſtances, and Quality. So that if he was reſolv'd to have ſhown her thus unpoliſh'd, he ſhould have made her keep Sheep, or brought her up at the Waſh-Boul.
Sir Tun-belly accoſts Young Faſhion much at the ſame rate of Accompliſhment.p. 61. My Lord,——I humbly crave leave to bid you Welcome in a Cup of Sack-wine. One would imagine the Poet was overdozed before he gave the Juſtice a Glaſs. For Sack-wine is too low for a Petty Conſtable. This peaſantly expreſſion agrees neither with the Gentlemans Figure, nor with the reſt of his Behaviour. I find we ſhould have a Creditable Magiſtracy, if the Relapſer had the Making them. Here the Characters are pinch'd in Senſe, and ſtinted to ſhort Allowance. At an other time they are over-indulged, and treated above Expectation.
For the purpoſe. Vanity and Formalizing is Lord Foplingtons part. To let him ſpeak without Aukwardneſs, and Affectation, is to put him out of his Element. There muſt be Gumm and ſtiffening in his Diſcourſe to make it natural However, the Relapſer has taken a fancy to his Perſon, and given him ſome of the moſt Gentile raillery in the whole Play. To give an Inſtance or two. This Lord ​in Diſcourſe with Faſhion forgets his Name, flies out into Senſe, and ſmooth expreſſion, out talks his Brother, and abating the ſtarch'd Similitude of a Watch, diſcovers nothing of Affectation, for almoſt a Page together.p. 42. He relapſes into the ſame Intemperance of good Senſe, in an other Dialogue between him and his Brother. I ſhall cite a little of it.
Y. Faſh. Unleſs you are ſo kind to aſſiſt me in redeeming my Annuity, I know no Remedy, but to go take a Purſe.
L. Fopl. Why Faith Tam——to give you my Senſe of the Thing, I do think taking a Purſe the beſt Remedy in the World, for if you ſucceed, you are releiv'd that way, if you are taken——you are reliev'd to'ther.p. 43.
Faſhion being diſappointed of a ſupply quarrels his Elder Brother, and calls him the Prince of Coxcombs.p. 44.
L. Fopl. Sir I am proud of being at the Head of ſo prevailing a party.
Y. Faſh. Will nothing then provoke thee? draw Coward.
L. Fopl. Look you Tam, your poverty makes your Life ſo burdenſome to you, you would provoke me to a Quarrel, in hopes either to ſlip through my Lungs into my Eſtate, or elſe to get your ſelf run through the Guts, to put an end to your Pain. But I ſhall diſappoint you in both. &c.
​This Drolling has too much Spirit, the Air of it is too free, and too handſomly turn'd for Lord Foplingtons Character. I grant the Relapſer could not aford to loſe theſe Sentences. The Scene would have ſuffer'd by the Omiſſion. But then he ſhould have contriv'd the matter ſo, as that they might, have been ſpoken by Young Faſhion in Aſides, or by ſome other more proper Perſon. To go on. Miſs Hoyden ſparkles too much in Converſation. The Poet muſt needs give her a ſhining Line or two,p. 64. At top. which ſerves only to make the reſt of her dullneſs the more remarkable. Sir. Tun-belly falls into the ſame Miſfortune of a Wit, and rallies above the force of his Capacity.p. 85. But the place having a mixture of Profaneſs, I ſhall forbear to cite it. Now to what purpoſe ſhould a Fools Coat be embroider'd? Finery in the wrong place is but expenſive Ridiculouſneſs. Beſides, I don't perceive the Relapſer was in any Condition to be thus liberal. And when a Poet is not overſtock'd, to ſquander away his Wit among his Block-heads, is meer Diſtraction. His men of Senſe will ſmart for this prodigality. Lovelace in his diſcourſe of Friendſhip, ſhall be the firſt Inſtance. Friendſhip (ſays he) is ſaid to be a plant of tedious growth, its Root compoſed of tender Fibers, ​nice in their Taſt, &c. By this Deſcription the Palate of a Fiber, ſhould be ſomewhat more nice and diſtinguiſhing, then the Poets Judgment. Let us examin ſome more of his Witty People. Young Faſhion fancies by Miſſes forward Behaviour, ſhe would have a whole Kennel of Beaux after her at London. And then Hey to the Park, and the Play, and the Church, and the Devil.p. 64. Here I conceive the ranging of the Period is amiſs. For if he had put the Play, and the Devil together, the Order of Nature, and the Air of Probability had been much better obſerv'd.
Afterwards Coupler being out of Breath in coming up ſtairs to Faſhion, aſks him why the —— canſt thou not lodge upon the Ground-floor?p. 94.
Y. Faſh. Becauſe I love to lye as near Heaven as I can. One would think a Spark juſt come off his Travels, and had made the Tour of Italy and France, might have rallied with a better Grace! However if he lodg'd in a Garret, 'tis a good Local jeſt. I had almoſt forgot one pretty remarkable Sentence of Faſhion to Lory.p. 15. I ſhall ſhew thee (ſays he) the exceſs of my Paſſion by being very calm. Now ſince this Gentleman was in a vein of talking Philoſophy to his Man, I'm ſorry he broke of ſo quickly. Had he gone on and ſhown ​him the Exceſs of a Storm and no Wind ſtirring, the Topick had been ſpent, and the Thought improv'd to the utmoſt.
Let us now paſs onto Worthy, the Relapſers fine Gentleman. This Spark ſets up for Senſe, and Addreſs, and is to have nothing of Affectation or Conſcience to ſpoil his Character. However to ſay no more of him, he grows Foppiſh in the laſt Scene, and courts Amanda in Fuſtian, and Pedantry. Firſt, He gives his Periods a turn of Verſification, and talks Proſe to her in Meeter. Now this is juſt as agreeable as it would be to Ride with one Leg, and Walk with the other. But let him ſpeak for himſelf. His firſt buſineſs is to bring Amanda to an Averſion for her Huſband; And therefore he perſwades her to Rouſe up that Spirit Women ought to bear; and ſlight your God if he neglects his Angel.p. 99. He goes on with his Oriſons. With Arms of Ice receive his Cold Embraces and keep your Fire for thoſe that come in Flames. Fire and Flames, is Mettal upon Mettal; 'Tis falſe Heraldry. Extend the Arms of Mercy to his Aid. His zeal may give him Title to your Pity, altho' his Merit cannot claim your Love.Ibid. Here you have Arms brought in again by Head and ſhoulders. I ſuppoſe the deſign was to keep up the Situation of the Allegory. But the latter ​part of the Speech is very Pithy. He would have her reſign her Vertue out of Civility, and abuſe her Huſband on Principles of good Nature. Worthy purſues his point, and Riſes in his Addreſs. He falls into a Fit of Diſſection, and hopes to gain his Miſtreſs by Cutting his Throat. He is for Ripping up his Faithful Breaſt, to prove the Reality of his Paſſion. Now when a Man Courts with his Heart in his Hand, it muſt be great Cruelty to refuſe him! No Butcher could have Thought of a more moving Expedient! However, Amanda continues obſtinate, and is not in the uſual Humour of the Stage. Upon this, like a well bred Lover he ſeizes her by Force, and threatens to Kill her. Nay ſtruggle not for all's in vain, or Death, or Victory, I am determin'd.p. 100. In this rencounter the Lady proves too nimble, and ſlips through his Fingers. Upon this diſappointment, he cries, there's Divinity about her, and ſhe has diſpenc'd ſome Portion on't to me. His Paſſion is Metamorphos'd in the Turn of a hand: He is refin'd into a Platonick Admirer, and goes off as like a Town Spark as you would wiſh. And ſo much for the Poets fine Gentleman.
I ſhould now examine the Relapſer's Thoughts and Expreſſions, which are two other Things of Conſideration in a Play. ​The Thoughts or Sentiments are the Expreſſions of the Manners, as Words are of the Thoughts.Rapin Reflect, &c. But the view of the Characters has in ſome meaſure prevented this Enquiry. Leaving this Argument therefore, I ſhall conſider his Play with reſpect to the
Three Unities of Time, Place, and Action.
And here the Reader may pleaſe to take notice, that the Deſign of theſe Rules, is to conceal the Fiction of the Stage, to make the Play appear Natural, and to give it an Air of Reality, and Converſation.
The largeſt compaſs for the firſt Unity is Twenty Four Hours: But a leſſer proportion is more regular. To be exact, the Time of the Hiſtory, or Fable, ſhould not exceed that of the Repreſentation: Or in other words, the whole Buſineſs of the Play, ſhould not be much longer than the Time it takes up in Playing.
The Second Unity is that of Place. To obſerve it, the Scene muſt not wander from one Town, or Country to another. It muſt continue in the ſame Houſe, Street, or at fartheſt in the ſame City, where it was firſt laid. The Reaſon of this Rule depends upon the Firſt. Now the Compaſs of Time being ſtrait, that of Space muſt bear a Correſpondent Proportion. ​Long journeys in Plays are impracticable. The Diſtances of Place muſt be ſuited to Leiſure, and Poſſibility, otherwiſe the ſuppoſition will appear unnatural and abſurd. The
Third Unity is that of Action; It conſiſts in contriving the chief Buſineſs of the Play ſingle, and making the concerns of one Perſon diſtinguiſhably great above the reſt. All the Forces of the Stage muſt as it were ſerve Under one General: And the leſſer Intrigues or Underplots, have ſome Relation to the Main. The very Oppoſitions muſt be uſeful, and appear only to be Conquer'd, and Countermin'd. To repreſent Two conſiderable Actions independent of each other, Deſtroys the beauty of Subordination, weakens the Contrivance, and dilutes the pleaſure. It ſplits the Play, and makes the Poem double. He that would ſee more upon this ſubject may conſult Corneille.Diſcourſe des Trois Unitez. pt. 3d. To bring theſe Remarks to the Caſe in hand. And here we may obſerve how the Relapſer fails in all the Rules above mention'd.
1ſt. His Play by modeſt Computation takes up a weeks Work, but five days you muſt allow it at the loweſt. One day muſt be ſpent in the Firſt, Second, and part of the Third Act, before Lord Foplington ſets forward to Sir Tun-belly. Now the Length ​of the Diſtance, the Pomp of the Retinue, and the Niceneſs of the Perſon being conſider'd; the journey down, and up again, cannot be laid under four days.p. 88. To put this out of doubt, Lord, Foplington is particularly careful to tell Coupler, how concern'd he was not to overdrive for fear of diſordering his Coach-Horſes. The Laws of Place, are no better obſerv'd than thoſe of Time. In the Third Act the Play is in Town, in the Fourth Act 'tis ſtroll'd Fifty Miles off, and in the Fifth Act in London again. Here Pegaſus ſtretches it to purpoſe! This Poet is fit to ride a Match with Witches. Juliana Cox never Switched a Broom ſtock with more Expedition! This is exactly
One would think by the probability of matters, the Plot had been ſtolen from Dr. O——s.
The Poet's Succeſs in the laſt Unity of Action is much the ſame with the former. Lovelace, Amanda, and Berinthia, have no ſhare in the main Buſineſs. Theſe Second rate Characters are a detatched Body: Their Intereſt is perfectly Foreign, and they are neither Friends, nor Enemies to ​the Plot. Young Faſhion does not ſo much as ſee them till the Cloſe of the Fifth Act, and then they meet only to fill the Stage: And yet theſe Perſons are in the Poets account very conſiderable; Inſomuch that he has miſnamed his Play from the Figure of two of them. This ſtrangneſs of Perſons, diſtinct Company, and inconnexion of Affairs, deſtroys the Unity of the Poem. The contrivance is juſt as wiſe as it would be to cut a Diamond in two. There is a loſs of Luſtre in the Diviſion. Increaſing the Number, abates the Value, and by making it more, you make it leſs.
Thus far I have examin'd the Dramatick Merits of the Play. And upon enquiry, it appears a Heap of Irregularities. There is neither Propriety in the Name, nor Contrivance in the Plot, nor Decorum in the Characters. 'Tis a thorough Contradition to Nature, and impoſſible in Time, and Place. Its Shining Graces as the Author calls them,Pref. are Blaſphemy and Baudy, together with a mixture of Oaths, and Curſing. Upon the whole; The Relapſer's Judgment, and his Morals, are pretty well adjuſted. The Poet, is not much better than the Man. As for the Profane part, 'tis hideous and ſuperlative.ſee Chap. 2d. But this I have conſider'd elſewhere. All that I ſhall obſerve here is, that the Author was ​ſenſible of this Objection. His Defence in his Preface is moſt wretched: He pretends to know nothing of the Matter, and that 'tis all Printed; Which only proves his Confidence equal to the reſt of his Virtues. To out-face Evidence in this manner, is next to the affirming there's no ſuch Sin as Blaſphemy, which is the greateſt Blaſphemy of all. His Apology conſiſts in railing at the Clergy; a certain ſign of ill Principles, and ill Manners. This He does at an unuſual rate of Rudeneſs and Spite. He calls them the Saints with Screw'd Faces, and wry Mouths. And after a great deal of ſcurrilous Abuſe too groſs to be mention'd, he adds;Pref. If any Man happens to be offended at a ſtory of a Cock and a Bull, and a Prieſt and a Bull-dog, I beg his Pardon, &c. This is brave Bear-Garden Language! The Relapſer would do well to tranſport his Muſe to Samourgan.** An Academy in Lithuania, for the Education of Bears. Pere Auvill Voyage en Divers Etats, &c. p. 240. There 'tis likely he might find Leiſure to lick his Abortive Brat into ſhape; And meet with proper Buſineſs for his Temper, and encouragement for his Talent.