# The Book of the Thousand Nights and One Night/Story of the Barber’s Fifth Brother

Fourth-level story, contained in The Barber’s Story < The Tailor’s Story < Story of the Hunchback
STORY OF THE BARBER’S FIFTH BROTHER.
My fifth brother, he of the cropt ears, O Commander of the Faithful, was a poor man, who used to ask alms by night and live by day on what he got thus. Now, our father, who was an old man, far advanced in years, fell sick and died, leaving us seven hundred dirhems. So we took each of us a hundred; but when my brother received his share, he was at a loss to know what to do with it, till he bethought him to buy glass of all sorts and sell it at a profit. So he bought a hundred dirhems’ worth of glass ​and putting it in a great basket, sat down, to sell it, on a raised bench, at the foot of a wall, against which he leant his back. As he sat, with the basket before him, be fell to musing in himself and said, “I have laid out a hundred dirhems on this glass and I will sell it for two hundred, with which I will buy other glass and sell it for four hundred; nor will I cease to buy and sell thus, till I have gotten much wealth. With this I will buy all kinds of merchandise and jewels and perfumes and gain great profit on them, till, God willing, I will make my capital a hundred thousand dirhems. Then I will buy a handsome house, together with slaves and horses and trappings of gold, and eat and drink, nor will I leave a singing-man or woman in the city but I will have them to sing to me. As soon as I have amassed a hundred thousand dirhems, I will send out marriage-brokers to demand for me in marriage the daughters of kings and viziers; and I will seek the hand of the Vizier’s daughter, for I hear that she is perfect in beauty and of surpassing grace. I will give her a dowry of a thousand dinars, and if her father consent, well; if not, I will take her by force, in spite of him. When I return home, I will buy ten little eunuchs and clothes for myself such as are worn by kings and sultans and get me a saddle of gold, set thick with jewels of price. Then I will mount and parade the city, with slaves before and behind me, whilst the folk salute me and call down blessings upon me: after which I will repair to the Vizier, the girl’s father, with slaves behind and before me, as well as on my either hand. When he sees me, he will rise and seating me in his own place, sit down me, he will rise and seating me in his own place, sit down below me, for that I am his son-in-law. Now I will have with me two eunuchs with purses, in each a thousand ​dinars, and I will deliver him the thousand dinars of the dowry and make him a present of other thousand, that he may have cause to know my nobility and generosity and greatness of mind and the littleness of the world in my eyes; and for ten words he proffers me, I will answer him two. Then I will return to my house, and if one come to me on the bride’s part, I will make him a present of money and clothe him in a robe of honour; but if he bring me a present, I will return it to him and will not accept it, that they may know that I am great of soul. Then I will command them to bring her to me in state and will order my house fittingly in the meantime. When the time of the unveiling is come, I will don my richest clothes and sit down on a couch of brocaded silk, leaning on a cushion and turning neither to the right nor to the left, for the haughtiness of my mind and the gravity of my understanding. My wife shall stand before me like the full moon, in her robes and ornaments, and I, of my pride and my disdain, will not look at her, till all who are present shall say to me, ‘O my lord, thy wife and thy handmaid stands before thee: deign to look upon her, for standing is irksome to her.’ And they will kiss the earth before me many times, whereupon I will lift my eyes and give one glance at her, then bend down my head again. Then they will carry her to the bride-chamber, and meanwhile I will rise and change my clothes for a richer suit. When they bring in the bride for the second time, I will not look at her till they have implored me several times, when I will glance at her and bow down my head; nor will I leave to do thus, till they have made an end of displaying her, when I will order one of my eunuchs to fetch a purse of five hundred dinars and giving it to the tire-women, command them to lead me to the bride-chamber.Night xxxiii. When they leave me alone with the bride, I will not look at her or speak to her, but will lie by her ​with averted face, that she may say I am high of soul. Presently her mother will come to me and kiss my head and hands and say to me, ‘O my lord, look on thy handmaid, for she longs for thy favour, and heal her spirit.  But I will give her no answer; and when she sees this, she will come and kiss my feet repeatedly and say, ‘O my lord, verily my daughter is a beautiful girl, who has never seen man; and if thou show her this aversion, her heart will break; so do thou incline to her and speak to her.’ Then she will rise and fetch a cup of wine, and her daughter will take it and come to me; but I will leave her standing before me, whilst I recline upon a cushion of cloth of gold, and will not look at her for the haughtiness of my heart, so that she will think me to be a Sultan of exceeding dignity and will say to me, ‘O my lord, for God’s sake, do not refuse to take the cup from thy servant’s hand, for indeed I am thy handmaid.’ But I will not speak to her, and she will press me, saying, ‘Needs must thou drink it,’ and put it to my lips. Then I will shake my fist in her face and spurn her with my foot thus.” So saying, he gave a kick with his foot and knocked over the basket of glass, which fell to the ground, and all that was in it was broken. “All this comes of my pride!” cried he, and fell to buffeting his face and tearing his clothes and weeping. The folk who were going to the Friday prayers saw him, and some of them looked at him and pitied him, whilst others paid no heed to him, and in this way my brother lost both capital and profit. Presently there came up a beautiful lady, on her way to the Friday prayers, riding on a mule with a saddle of gold and attended by a number of servants and filling the air with the scent of musk, as she passed along. When she saw the broken glass and my brother weeping, she was moved to pity for him; so she asked what ailed him and was told that he had a basket full of glass, by the sale of which he ​thought to make his living, but it was broken, and this was the cause of his distress. So she called one of her attendants and said to him, “Give this poor man what is with thee.” And he gave my brother a purse in which he found five hundred dinars, whereupon he was like to die for excess of joy and called down blessings on her. Then he returned to his house, a rich man; and as he sat considering, some one knocked at the door. So he rose and opened and saw an old woman whom he knew not. “O my son,” said she, “the time of prayer is at hand, and I have not yet made the ablution; so I beg thee to let me do so in thy house.” “I hear and obey,” replied he, and bade her come in. So she entered and he brought her an ewer, wherewith to wash, and sat down, beside himself for joy in the dinars. When she had made an end of her ablutions, she came up to where he sat and prayed a two-bow prayer, after which she offered up a goodly prayer for my brother, who thanked her and putting his hand to the bag of money, gave her two dinars, saying in himself, “This is an alms from me.” “Glory to God!” exclaimed she. “Why dost thou look on one, who loves thee, as if she were a beggar? Put up thy money! I have no need of it; or if thou want it not, return it to her who gave it thee, when thy glass was broken.” “O my mother,” asked he, “how shall I do to come at her?” “O my son,” replied she, “she hath an inclination for thee, but she is the wife of a wealthy man of the city; so take all thy money with thee and follow me, that I may guide thee to thy desire: and when thou art in company with her, spare neither fair words nor persuasion, and thou shalt enjoy her beauty and her wealth to thy heart’s content.” So my brother took all his money and rose and followed the old woman, hardly believing in his good fortune. She led him on till they came to the door of a great house, at which she knocked, and a Greek slave-girl came out and opened to ​them. Then the old woman took my brother and brought him into a great saloon, spread with magnificent carpets and hung with curtains, where he sat down, with his money before him and his turban on his knee. Presently in came a young lady richly dressed, never saw eyes handsomer than she; whereupon my brother rose to his feet, but she smiled upon him and welcoming him, signed to him to be seated. Then she bade shut the door and taking my brother by the hand, led him to a private chamber, furnished with various kinds of brocaded silk. Here he sat down and she seated herself by his side and toyed with him awhile; after which she rose and saying, “Do not stir till I come back,” went away. After awhile, in came a great black slave, with a drawn sword in his hand, who said to him, “Woe to thee! who brought thee hither and what dost thou want?” My brother could make no answer, being tongue-tied for fear; so the black seized him and stripping him of his clothes, beat him with the flat of his sword till he swooned away. Then the pestilent black concluded that he was dead, and my brother heard him say, “Where is the salt-wench?” Whereupon in came a slave-girl, with a great dish of salt, and the black strewed salt upon my brother’s wounds; but he did not stir, lest he should know that he was alive and finish him. Then the salt-girl went away and the black cried out, “Where is the cellaress?” With this in came the old woman, and taking my brother by the feet, dragged him to an underground vault, where she threw him down upon a heap of dead bodies. There he remained two whole days, but God made the salt the means of saving his life, for it stayed the flow of blood. Presently, he found himself strong enough to move; so he rose and opening the trap-door, crept out fearfully; and God protected him, so that he went on in the darkness and hid himself in the vestibule till the morning, when he saw the cursed old woman sally forth in quest of other ​prey. So he went out after her, without her knowledge, and made for his own house, where he dressed his wounds and tended himself till he was whole. Meanwhile he kept a watch upon the old woman and saw her accost one man after another and carry them to the house. However, he said nothing; but as soon as he regained health and strength, he took a piece of stuff and made it into a bag, which he filled with broken glass and tied to his middle. Then he disguised himself in the habit of a foreigner, that none might know him, and hid a sword under his clothes. Then he went out and presently falling in with the old woman, accosted her and said to her, with a foreign accent, “O dame, I am a stranger, but this day arrived here, and know no one. Hast thou a pair of scales wherein I may weigh nine hundred dinars? I will give thee somewhat of the money for thy pains.” “I have a son, a money-changer,” replied she, “who has all kinds of scales; so come with me to him, before he goes out, and he will weigh thy gold for thee.” And he said, “Lead the way.” So she led him to the house and knocked at the door; and the young lady herself came out and opened it; whereupon the old woman smiled in her face, saying, “I bring thee fat meat to-day.” Then the damsel took him by the hand and carrying him to the same chamber as before, sat with him awhile, then rose and went out, bidding him stir not till she came back. Ere long in came the villainous black, with his sword drawn, and said to my brother, “Rise, O accursed one!” So he rose and as the slave went on before him, he drew the sword from under his clothes and smiting him with it, made his head fly from his body; after which he dragged the corpse by the feet to the vault and cried out, “Where is the salt-wench?” Up came the girl with the dish of salt, and seeing my brother sword in hand, turned to fly; but he followed her and smote her and struck off her head. Then he ​called out, “Where is the cellaress?” And in came the old woman, to whom said he, “Dost thou know me, O pestilent old woman?” “No, my lord,” replied she; and he said, “I am he of the five hundred dinars, to whose house thou camest to make the ablution and pray, and whom thou didst after lure hither.” “Fear God and spare me!” exclaimed she. But he paid no heed to her and striking her with the sword, cut her in four. Then he went in search of the young lady; and when she saw him, her reason fled and she called out for mercy. So he spared her and said to her, “How camest thou to consort with this black?” Quoth she, “I was slave to a certain merchant and the old woman used to visit me, till I became familiar with her. One day she said to me, ‘We have to-day a wedding at our house, the like of which was never beheld, and I wish thee to see it.’ ‘I hear and obey,’ answered I, and rising, donned my handsomest clothes and jewellery and took with me a purse containing a hundred dinars. Then she brought me hither, and hardly had I entered the house, when the black seized on me, and I have remained in this case these three years, through the perfidy of the accursed old woman.” Then said my brother, “Is there aught of his in the house?” “He had great store of wealth,” replied she: “and if thou canst carry it away, do so, and may God prosper it to thee!” Then she opened to him several chests full of purses, at which he was confounded, and said to him, “Go now and leave me here and fetch men to carry off the money.” So he went out and hired ten men, but, when he returned, he found the door open and the damsel gone, and nothing left but a little of the money and the household stuff. By this, he knew that she had cheated him; so he opened the closets and took what was in them, together with the rest of the money, leaving nothing in the house, and passed the night in all content. When he arose in the morning, he found at the ​door a score of troopers, who seized him, saying, “The chief of the police seeks for thee.” My brother implored them to let him return to his house, but they would grant him no delay, though he offered them a large sum of money, and binding him fast with cords, carried him off. On the way, there met them a friend of my brother, who clung to his skirts and implored him to stop and help to deliver him from their hands. So he stopped and enquired what was the matter; to which they replied, “The chief of the police has ordered us to bring this man before him, and we are doing so.” The man interceded with them and offered them five hundred dinars to let my brother go, saying, “Tell the magistrate that ye could not find him.” But they refused and dragged him before the prefect, who said to him, “Whence hadst thou these stuffs and money?” Quoth my brother, “Grant me indemnity.” So the magistrate gave him the handkerchief of pardon, and he told him all that had befallen him, from first to last, including the flight of the damsel, adding, “Take what thou wilt, so thou leave me enough to live on.” But the prefect took the whole of the stuff and money for himself and fearing lest the affair should reach the Sultan’s ears, said to my brother, “Depart from this city, or I will hang thee.” “I hear and obey,” replied my brother, and set out for another town. On the way thieves fell on him and stripped him and beat him and cut off his ears. But I heard of his misfortunes and went out after him, taking him clothes, and brought him back privily to the city, where I made him an allowance for meat and drink.
Story of the Barber’s Sixth Brother.