# The Complete Works of Count Tolstoy/Childhood/Chapter 24

XXIV.
In Bed
"How could I have loved Serézha so long and so passionately?" I reflected, lying in bed. "No, he never understood, never could appreciate my love, and was not worthy of it. But Sónichka? What a charming girl! 'Dost thou want!' 'It is for thee to begin!'"
In my vivid representation of her face, I jumped up on all fours, then covered my head with my coverlet, tucked it all around me, and, when there were no openings left, lay down and, experiencing a gentle warmth, was lost in sweet dreams and memories. I fixed my immovable eyes upon the under side of the quilt, and saw her face as distinctly as an hour before. I mentally conversed with her, and that conversation gave me indescribable pleasure, though it had absolutely no sense, because it was composed of so many repetitions of "thou," "to thee," "thy," and "thine."
These dreams were so distinct that I could not fall asleep from pleasurable agitation, and was desirous of sharing the superabundance of my happiness with somebody.
"Darling!" I said almost aloud, abruptly turning around on my other side. "Volódya, are you asleep?"
"No," he answered me with a sleepy voice, "what is it?"
"I am in love, Volódya, desperately in love with Sónichka!"
​"Well, what of it?" he answered me, stretching himself.
"O Volódya! You can't imagine what is going on in me. I had just rolled in my coverlet when I saw her and heard her so distinctly, so distinctly, that it is really wonderful! And do you know? when I lie and think of her, I feel sad, God knows why, and I want to cry awfully."
Volódya moved restlessly.
"I wish only for one thing," continued I, "and that is, always to be with her, always to see her, and nothing else. Are you in love? Confess really, do, Volódya!"
It is strange, but I wanted everybody to be in love with Sónichka, and I wanted everybody to talk about it.
"That is not your business," said Volódya, turning his face toward me. "Maybe."
"You do not want to sleep, you only pretended!" I called out, when I noticed by his burning eyes that he did not even think of sleeping, and had thrown off his coverlet. "Let us talk about her. Don't you think she is fine? She is so charming that if she were to command me: 'Nikólenka, jump out of the window!' or, 'throw yourself into the fire!' I swear to you," said I, "I should with pleasure do so. Oh, what a charming girl!" I added, vividly imagining her before me; and, completely to enjoy that image, I abruptly turned on my other side and stuck my head under the pillows. "Volódya, I want to cry awfully."
"You are a fool!" he said, smiling, and then kept silent for a moment. "I am entirely different from you; I think that if it were possible, I should want at first to sit by her side and talk with her —"
"Oh, so you are in love, too?" I interrupted him.
"Then," continued Volódya, smiling gently, "then I should kiss her little fingers, her eyes, lips, nose, feet, — I should kiss her all over —"
​"Nonsense!" I cried out from under my pillows.
"You do not understand anything," contemptuously said Volódya.
"No, I understand, but you do not, and you are talking nonsense," said I, through tears.
"But there is no reason for weeping. A regular girl!"