# In Desert and Wilderness/Part 1/Chapter 18

XVIII
When they entered the room, the Mahdi lay on a soft cot, surrounded by his wives, two of whom fanned him with great ostrich feathers and the other two lightly scratched the soles of his feet. Besides his wives, there were present only the caliph Abdullahi and the sheref caliph, as the third, Ali Uled Helu, was despatching at that time troops to the north, particularly to Beber and Abu Hâmed, which already had been captured by the dervishes. At sight of the arrivals the prophet dismissed his wives and sat up on the cot. Idris, Gebhr, and the two Bedouins fell on their faces and afterwards knelt with hands crossed on their breasts. The Greek beckoned to Stas to do the same, but the boy, pretending not to see the gesture, only bowed and remained standing erect. His face was pale, but his eyes shone strongly and from his whole posture and head, haughtily upraised, from his tightly compressed lips it could easily be seen that something had taken an ascendancy over him, that uncertainty and fear had passed away, that he had adopted an inflexible resolution from which he would not recede for anything. The Greek evidently understood this, as great uneasiness was reflected on his features. The Mahdi observed both children with a fleeting glance, brightened his fat face with his customary smile, after which he first addressed Idris and Gebhr:
"You came from the distant north," he said.
​Idris struck the ground with his forehead.
"Yes, oh Mahdi! We belong to the tribe of Dongola; therefore we abandoned our homes in Fayûm in order to kneel at your blessed feet."
"I beheld you in the desert. That was a terrible journey but I sent an angel to guard and shield you from death at the hands of the infidels. You did not see this, but he watched over you."
"Thanks to thee, Redeemer."
"And you brought those children to Smain to exchange them for his own, that the Turks imprisoned together with Fatma in Port Said."
"Thee we desired to serve."
"Whoever serves me serves his own salvation; therefore you have opened for yourselves the path to paradise. Fatma is my relative. But verily I say unto you that when we subjugate the whole of Egypt, then my relative and her posterity will anyway regain liberty."
"And therefore do with these children whatever thou desirest—oh blessed one."
The Mahdi closed his eyelids, after which he opened them, smiling kindly, and nodded at Stas.
"Approach, boy."
Stas advanced a few paces with an energetic, as if soldierly, stride; he bowed a second time after which he straightened as a chord and, looking straight into the Mahdi's eyes, waited.
"Are you delighted that you came to me?" the Mahdi asked.
"No, prophet. We were abducted in spite of our wills from our parents."
This plain answer created a certain sensation upon the ruler accustomed to flattery, and upon those present. Caliph Abdullahi frowned, the Greek gnawed his ​mustache, and began to wring his hands. The Mahdi, however, did not cease to smile.
"But," he said, "you are at the fountain of truth. Do you want to drink at that fountain?"
A moment of silence followed; so the Mahdi, thinking the boy did not understand the question, repeated it more plainly.
"Do you desire to accept my doctrines?"
To this Stas imperceptibly made a sign of the holy cross with his hand which he held at his breast, as though he was about to leap from a sinking ship into a watery chaos.
"Prophet," he said, "your doctrines I do not know; therefore if I accepted them, I would do it out of fear like a coward and a base man. Are you anxious that your faith should be professed by cowards and base people?"
And speaking thus he looked steadfastly in the eyes of the Mahdi. It became so quiet that only the buzz of flies could be heard. But at the same time something extraordinary had happened. The Mahdi became confused, and for the nonce did not know what reply to make. The smile vanished from his face, on which was reflected perplexity and displeasure. He stretched out his hand, took hold of the gourd, filled it with water and honey, and began to drink, but obviously only to gain time and to conceal his confusion.
And the brave boy, a worthy descendant of the defenders of Christianity, of the true blood of the victors at Khoczim and Vienna, stood with upraised head, awaiting his doom. On his emaciated cheeks, tanned by the desert winds, bloomed bright blushes, his eyes glittered, and his body quivered with the thrill of ardor. "All others," he soliloquized, "accepted his doctrines, but I have denied neither my faith nor my soul." And fear before what might ​and was to follow at that moment was subdued in his heart, and joy and pride overflowed it.
In the meantime the Mahdi replaced the gourd and asked:
"So, you reject my doctrines?"
"I am a Christian like my father."
"Whoever closes his eyes to the voice of God," said the Mahdi slowly in a changed voice, "is only fuel for the flames."
At this the caliph Abdullahi, notorious for his ferocity and cruelty, displayed his white teeth like a savage animal and spoke out:
"The speech of this boy is insolent; therefore punish him, lord, or permit me to punish him."
"It has happened!" Stas thought.
But the Mahdi always desired that the fame of his mercy should spread not only among the dervishes but over the whole world; therefore he thought that a too severe sentence, particularly upon a small boy, might injure that fame.
For a while he fingered the rosary beads and meditated, and afterwards said:
"No. These children were abducted for Smain; so, though I do not want to enter into any negotiations with the infidels, it is necessary to send them to Smain. Such is my will."
"It shall be obeyed," answered the caliph.
But the Mahdi pointed to Idris, Gebhr, and the Bedouins and said:
"Reward these men for me, oh Abdullahi, for they made a long and dangerous journey to serve God and me."
After which he nodded in sign that the audience was ended and at the same time ordered the Greek to leave ​also. The latter, when they found themselves in the darkness on the place of prayer, seized Stas' arm and began to shake it with anger and despair.
"Accursed! You have sealed the doom of that innocent child," he said, pointing at Nell. "You have ruined yourself and perhaps me."
"I could not do otherwise," answered Stas.
"You could not? Know that you are condemned to a journey a hundredfold worse than the first. And that is death,—do you understand? In Fashoda the fever will kill you in the course of a week. The Mahdi knew why he sent you to Smain."
"In Omdurmân we also would perish."
"That is not true! You would not have perished in the house of the Mahdi, in plenty and comfort. And he was ready to take you under his wings. I know that he was. You also repaid me nicely for interceding for you. But do what you wish, Abdullahi will despatch the camel-post to Fashoda in about a week and during that time do whatever you please! You will not see me any more!"
Saying this he went away, but after a while returned. He, like all Greeks, was loquacious, and it was necessary for him to tell everything he had to say. He wanted to pour upon Stas' head all the bile which had accumulated within him. He was not cruel and did not possess a bad heart; he desired, however, that the boy should understand more thoroughly the awful responsibility which he had assumed in not heeding his advice and warnings.
"Who would have prevented you from remaining a Christian in your soul?" he said. "Do you think that I am not one? But I am not a fool. You on the other hand preferred to make a parade of your false heroism. Heretofore I have rendered great services to the white prisoners, but now I shall not be able to aid them for the ​Mahdi has become incensed at me. All will perish. And your little companion in misfortune also: you have killed her! In Fashoda even adult Europeans die of the fever like flies, and what of such a child? And if they order you to go on foot beside the horses and camels, she will fall the first day. You did all this. Enjoy yourself now—you Christian!"
And he left them while they turned from the place of prayer towards the huts. They walked long, as the city was spread over an immense space. Nell, worn out by fatigue, hunger, fright, and the horrible impressions of the whole day, began to lag. Idris and Gebhr urged her to walk faster. But after a time her limbs became entirely numb. Then Stas, without reflection, took her in his arms and carried her. On the way he wanted to speak to her; he wanted to justify himself, but ideas were torpid, as if they were dead in his mind; so he only repeated in a circle, "Nell! Nell! Nell!" and he clasped her to his bosom, not being able to say anything more. After a few score paces Nell fell asleep in his arms from exhaustion; so he walked in silence amid the quiet of the slumbering little streets, interrupted only by the conversation of Idris and Gebhr, whose hearts overflowed with joy. This was fortunate for Stas, as otherwise they would have punished him for his insolent reply to the Mahdi. They were, however, so occupied with what they had seen that they could not think of anything else.
"I felt sick," said Idris, "but the sight of the prophet healed me."
"He is like a palm in the desert, and like cool water on a scorching day, and his words are like ripe dates," answered Gebhr.
"Nur el-Tadhil lied when he said that he would not ​permit us to be admitted to his presence. He admitted us, blessed us, and ordered Abdullahi to lavish gifts upon us."
"Who will munificently enrich us, for the wish of the Mahdi is sacred."
"Bismillah! May it be as you say!" spoke out one of the Bedouins.
And Gebhr began to dream of whole herds of camels, horned cattle, and bags full of piastres.
From these dreams he was awakened by Idris who, pointing at Stas carrying the sleeping girl, asked:
"What shall we do with that hornet and that fly?"
"Ha! Smain ought to reward us for them, separately."
"Since the prophet says that he will not permit any negotiations with the infidels, Smain will have no interest in them."
"In such case I regret that they did not get into the hands of the caliph, who would have taught that whelp what it is to bark against the truth and the elect of the Lord."
"The Mahdi is merciful," answered Idris.
After which he pondered for a while and said:
"Nevertheless, Smain having both in his hands will be certain that neither the Turks nor the English people will kill his children and Fatma."
"So he may reward us?"
"Yes. Let Abdullahi's post take them to Fashoda. A weight will fall off our heads, and when Smain returns here we will demand recompense from him."
"You say then that we will remain in Omdurmân?"
"Allah! Have you not had enough in the journey from Fayûm to Khartûm? The time for rest has come."
The huts were now not far off. Stas, however, slackened his pace for his strength began to wane. Nell, ​though light, seemed heavier and heavier. The Sudânese, who were anxious to go to sleep, shouted at him to hurry and afterwards drove him on, striking him on the head with their fists. Gebhr even pricked him painfully in the shoulder with a knife. The boy endured all this in silence, protecting above all his little sister, and not until one of the Bedouins shoved him so that he almost fell, did he say to them through his set teeth:
"We are to arrive at Fashoda alive."
And these words restrained the Arabs, for they feared to violate the commands of the Mahdi. A yet more effective restraint, however, was the fact that Idris suddenly became so dizzy that he had to lean on Gebhr's arm. After an interval the dizziness passed away, but the Sudânese became frightened and said:
"Allah! Something ails me. Has not some sickness taken hold of me?"
"You have seen the Mahdi, so you will not fall sick," answered Gebhr.
They finally reached the huts. Stas, hurrying with the remnants of his strength, delivered sleeping Nell to the hands of old Dinah, who, though unwell also, nevertheless made a comfortable bed for her little lady. The Sudânese and the Bedouins, swallowing a few strips of raw meat, flung themselves, like logs, on the saddle-cloth. Stas was not given anything to eat, but old Dinah shoved into his hand a fistful of soaked durra, a certain amount of which she had stolen from the camels. But he was not in the mood for eating or sleeping, for the load which weighed on his shoulders was in truth too heavy. He felt that in rejecting the favor of the Mahdi, for which it was necessary to pay with denial of faith and soul, he had acted as he should have done; he felt that his father would have been proud and happy at his conduct, but ​at the same time he thought that he had caused the destruction of Nell, his companion in misfortune, his little beloved sister, for whom he would willingly have sacrificed his last drop of blood.
So when all had fallen asleep he burst into a flood of tears, and, lying on a piece of saddle-cloth, he wept long, like the child which, after all, he still was.