# Preparation for death/XIX. THE GIFT OF GRACE IS A GREAT GOOD, AND THE LOSS OF GRACE IS A GREAT EVIL

CONSIDERATION XIX
The Gift of grace is a great God, and the loss of grace is a great evil.
"Man knoweth not the price thereof." Job xxviii. 13.
First Point.
THE Lord says, " If thou take forth the precious from the, vile, thou shalt be as My mouth." (Jer. xv. 19.) He who knows how to separate things precious from things vile, becomes like God; he rejects the evil and he chooses the good. Let us mark how blessed is the gift of the grace of God, and how sad is the loss of it. Men do not consider the value of Divine grace, they know not " the price thereof," and therefore they barter it away for nothing for a passing vapour, for a little land, for an animal pleasure; yet it is an infinite treasure, one which renders xis worthy of the friendship of God. " He is an infinite treasure to me, which they that use, become the friends of God." (Wisd. vii. 14.) So that a soul in grace, is a friend of God. The heathen who were deprived of the light of faith deemed it impossible that the creature should have any friendship with God; and speaking according to natural light, they said justly, since friendship can only exist amongst equals; or, as S. Jerome says, " Friendship either finds or makes equals." But God has in many places of Holy Scripture declared, that by means of His grace we may become His friends if we observe His laws, "Ye are my friends if ye do whatsoever I command you: henceforth I call you not servants, but I have called you friends." (S. ​John xv. 14, 15.) Whence S. Gregory exclaims, " Oh, marvellous condescension of Divine goodness, we are not worthy to be called slaves, and we are called friends."
How fortunate would he reckon himself to be, who had a king for his friend! But it would be temerity in a subject to claim to have a friendship with his prince; but yet it is not temerity for a soul to claim to be the friend of its God. S. Augustine relates, that two courtiers were once in a monastery of hermits, and that one of them took up the life of S. Anthony the Abbot to read; " He read, and his heart was drawn out from the world." Then turning to his companion he spake thus, " What do we seek? Have we any greater hope than that of being friends of the emperor? And through how many dangers is this the greater danger arrived at? And how long will this friendship last?" " Friend," he said, " fools, that we are; what do we seek? can we hope by serving the emperor for more than his friendship? If we obtain it, we expose ourselves to the greater danger of losing our eternal salvation. But no, we shall not succeed in this, so difficult will it be to obtain Csesar for a friend. But if I will it, even now, I can become the friend of God."
Whoever, then, is in the grace of God, becomes His friend, nay, rather, he becomes the child of God. " Ye are gods, ye are all the children of the Most Highest." (Ps. lxxxii. 6.) This is the "high calling" that the Divine love has obtained for us through the mediation of Jesus Christ. " Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the Sons of God. (i S. John iii. i.) Moreover, the soul that is in grace becomes the spouse of God. " I will even betroth thee unto Me in faithfulness." (Hos. ii. 20.) Therefore, the father of the prodigal son, when he restored him to his favour, ordered, in token of his espousal, to " put a ring on his hand." (S. Luke xv. 22.) The soul becomes also the temple of the. Holy Ghost. " Ye are the temple of God, and the Spirit of God dwelleth in you." (i Cor. iii. 16.)
Affections and Prayers.
Therefore, O my God, my soul, whilst it remained in Thy grace, was Thy friend, Thy child, Thy spouse, Thy temple; ​but then in sinning it lost all, and became Thy enemy and the slave of hell. But I thank Thee, O my God, that Thou hast even given me time to recover Thy grace. I grieve that I have offended Thee, more than for every other evil, O Infinite Goodness, and I love Thee above all things. Ah, receive me again into Thy friendship, and in Thy pity do not reject me. I know well, that I have deserved banishment from Thee; but Jesus Christ merits that, being penitent, Thou shouldst receive me again, for the sake of the sacrifice of Himself which He made to Thee on Calvary. " Thy Kingdom come." My Father for so has Thy Son taught me to call Thee " come" by Thy grace to reign in my heart. Grant that it may serve Thee only, live for Thee only, love Thee only. " And lead us not into temptation." Ah! do not suffer the enemies that I have, so to tempt me that they may conquer me. "But deliver us from evil;" from hell, but first from that sin which alone can bring me to hell; from the great evil of falling into sin, and so of being deprived of the grace of God.
Second Point.
S. Thomas Aquinas says that the gift of grace exceeds every other gift that the creature can receive, " since it is a participation of the Divine nature." Before him, S. Peter had said, " That by these ye might become partakers of the divine nature." (2 S. Peter i. 4.) So great things has Jesus Christ merited for us by His Passion: He has communicated to us the same glory that He had received from God. " The glory which Thou gavest me I have given them." (S. John xvii. 22.) In brief, he who is in the grace of God is one with God. " He that is joined to the Lord is one spirit." (i Cor. vi. 17.) And the Redeemer said that in the mind that loves God the entire Holy Trinity comes to dwell. " If a man love Me, .... My Father will love him, and We will come unto him, and make Our abode with him." (S. John xiv. 23.) The soul in grace is so beautiful in the eyes of God that He Himself praises it. " Behold, thou art fair, My love; behold, thou art fair." (Cant. iv. i.) The Lord seems not to know how to take His eyes away from a soul that He ​loves; neither to close His ears from anything that it may ask. " The eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and His ears are open unto their prayers." (Ps. xxxiv. 16.)
How many acquisitions of merit can a soul in grace obtain? Each moment it may be made worthy of eternal glory. Why then do we envy the great ones of the world? If we are in the grace of God, we can continually obtain far more greatness in heaven. Moreover, only he who experiences it, can realise the peace that is enjoyed even in this world by a soul in the grace of God. " O taste and see how gracious the Lord is." (Ps. xxxiv. 8.) The words of the Lord cannot fail. " Great is the peace that they have who love Thy law." (Ps. cxix. 165.) The peace of him who is united with God exceeds all the pleasures that the world and the senses can give: it is "the peace of God, which passeth all understanding." (Phil. iv. 7.)
Affections and Prayers.
O my Jesus, Thou art that Good Shepherd Who sufferedst Thyself to be slain that Thou mightest give life to Thy sheep. When I fled from Thee Thou didst not cease to follow me, and seek for me. Receive me now that I seek Thee, and, penitent, return to Thy feet. Give me Thy grace again, which I have miserably lost by my sin. I repent with my whole heart. I could die of very grief when I think, how often I have rejected Thee. Pardon me by the merits of that bitter death which Thou sufferedst for me on the Cross. Bind me with the sweet chains of Thy love, and suffer me no further to fly from Thee. Give me strength to bear with patience every cross which Thou imposest upon me, since I have merited the eternal pains of hell. Grant that I may embrace with love the insults which I may receive from men, since I have deserved to be trampled under the feet of devils eternally. Grant, in short, that in all things I may obey Thy inspirations, and subdue all human regards for Thy sake. I am resolved from this day forward to serve Thee only. Others may say what they will, I desire to love Thee alone, O my sweetest Lord. Thee alone do I desire to please. But Thou must give me Thy help, without which I can ​do nothing. I love Thee, O my Jesus, with all my heart, and I confide in Thy Blood.
Third Point.
Let us now consider the misery of a soul that is not in the grace of God; it is separated from its highest good, which is God. "Your iniquities have separated between you and your God." (Isa, lix. 2.) So that no longer it belongs to God, nor God to it. "Ye are not My people, and I will not be your God." (Hos. i. 9.) God not only does not belong to the soul, but He loathes it, and condemns it to hell. The Lord does not hate any of His creatures. " Thou lovest all things that are, and hatest none of the things which Thou hast made." (Wisd. xi. 25.) But God cannot avoid hating sinners. " Thou hatest all them that work vanity." (Ps. v. 3.) Yes, because God cannot help hating sin, which is an enemy wholly contrary to His will; and therefore in hating sin He necessarily hates the sinner also who is united to sin. " But to God the wicked and his wickedness are hateful alike." (Wisd. xiv. 9.)
O God, if any one has for an enemy an earthly prince, he can never enjoy a quiet sleep, justly fearing death in any moment; and he who has God for an enemy, how can he have peace? One can fly from the anger of an earthly prince by hiding oneself in a wood, or by going afar off into another country; but who can escape from the hands of God? " Lord," said David, " If I climb up into heaven, Thou art there; if I go down to hell, Thou art there also; . . . . even there also shall Thy hand lead me." (Ps. cxxxix. 8, 9.)
Poor sinners, they are cursed by God, by the angels, by the saints, even in this world every day by all the priests, the religious who proclaim their curse in reciting the Divine office: " Cursed are they that do err from Thy commandments." (Ps. cxviii. 21.) Moreover, the loss of God's grace, implies the loss of all merit; for. if the greatest saint or missionary commits but one act of sin, he loses all. "All his righteousness that he had done shall not be mentioned." (Ezek. xviii. 24.) Mark the ruin which the loss of God's grace brings with it - the child of ​God, becomes the slave of Lucifer the beloved friend, becomes an enemy greatly hated the heir of heaven, is condemned to hell. S. Francis of Sales said, that if the angels could weep, when they beheld a soul that had committed deadly sin, and had lost divine grace, they would be ready to weep through compassion. But the greater misfortune is, that whilst the angels would be ready to weep, were they capable of doing so, the sinner weeps not. S. Augustine says, that when a man has lost a small sheep, one of the flock, he neither eats nor sleeps, but weeps; yet if he have lost the grace of God, he both eats, and sleeps, and weeps not.
Affections and Prayers.
Behold, O my Redeemer, the miserable state into which I have reduced myself. To make me worthy of Thy grace, Thou didst spend thirty-three years of toil and of pain, and I, for one moment of poisoned pleasure, for a mere nothing, have despised it and lost it. I thank Thy compassion for still giving me time in which I can recover it at my will. Yes, I wish, as far as I can, to recover it. Tell me what I must do to receive Thy pardon. Dost Thou wish me to repent? Yes, my Jesus, I repent with all my soul for having offended Thy Infinite Goodness. Dost Thou wish me to love? I love Thee above all things. I have hitherto most unworthily employed my heart in loving the creature, and upon vanity; from this day forth I will live for Thee alone, I will love Thee only, my Lord, my treasure, my hope, my strength. " I will love Thee, O Lord, my strength." (Ps. xviii. i.) O my Jesus, Thy wounds and Thy merits shall be my hope and my strength. From Thee I hope for strength to be faithful. Receive me, then, with Thy grace, O my Saviour, and do not let me leave Thee any more. Separate me from worldly affections, and inflame my heart with Thy holy love.