# The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift/Volume 13/From Thomas Sheridan to Jonathan Swift - 8

FROM DR SHERIDAN.
IN the first place I was heartily rejoiced to see your letter, for I was afraid you were not well. Now I shall answer as much as my time will permit; (but before I proceed, remember I expect you here next Saturday; for I am both in humour and capacity to receive you. I shall get your answer on Thursday next, and then I shall go as far as Virginia to meet you. Leave Dublin on Wednesday; ride to Dunshaglan that day, 12 miles. From thence to Navan on Thursday, 11 miles. A Friday to Virginia, 15 miles, where I will meet you that evening with a couple of bottles of the best wine in Ireland, and a piece of my own mutton, &c. A Saturday morning we set out for Cavan, where you will find dinner ready at your arrival. Bring a cheesetoaster to do a mutton chop now and then; and do not forget some ​rice; we have none good here; but all other eatables in perfection) I beg pardon for the long foregoing parenthesis (the next shall be shorter) you see it was necessary. Ure Dolis a de vel it hinc. Mi mollis ab uti, an angeli se. An has fine iis, a fine face, ab re ast as no, a belli fora que en. An di me quis mi molli as I ples. As for your jogg Ralph Eye, I may say without vanity, that I exceed you as far as from east to west. First with submission, you should have begun with the Poles Are Tick Ann Tarr Tick, next the May read dye Ann, the Eak water, the whore Eyes on, the Eak lip Tick, the Trow Pick of can sir, the Trow pick of Cap rye corn, or Cap Rick horn, the twelve signes Aare I ease, Tower us, Jay me knee, Can Sir, lay O, Veer goe, lye braw (quoth the Scotchman) Sage it are eye us, Cap wrye corn us, hack weary us, and piss is; together with Cull ewers, Zounds, and Climb bats, &c. &c. In order to give you a full idea of the chief towns in Europe, I shall only mention some of lord Peterborow's rambles. He had like to break al Lisbon in Portugal: he Mad rid through Spain: he could not find Room in Italy: he was Constant in a pull among the Turks: he met with his name sake Peter's burgh in Musk O vye: he had like to Crack O in Poland: when he came to Vye any, he did there jeer many: in France he declared the king of Great Britain, with its king upon the Par is: in a certain northern country he took a frolick to put on a Fryer's Cope; and then he was in Cope in Hag in. Pray Dean mark that. In Holland he met with a G—amester,—Dam you, said he in a passion, for a cheat: he was there poxt by a whore; and he cried out, Rot her dam her. Thus far I know of his ​travels to the Low Countries, and no farther. Thus far you see I am in humour: although the Devil be in one end of my house, I defy her, because I have the other for you and me. Another thing I must promise when you come, That we shall not quit our learned correspondence, but write up and down stairs to one another, and still keep on our agreeable flights. The Devil take all the Des in Christendom, for a pack of saucy scabs. When you are here you will despise them all; and you shall be troubled with no club, but such as will keep you out of the dirt. Do not lose this good weather, I beseech you; for every thing is ready for you. If you do not like your lodgings, you shall not pay a farthing; and if you do, I have the remedy in my own purse. Do not think to spunge upon me for any thing but meat, drink, and lodging; for I do assure you, as the world goes, I can afford you nothing else. Yes, I beg pardon, I can give your horses good grass, and perhaps a feed of oats now and then. My turf is all home, so is my corn, but my hay not yet. I expect it on Monday, which is the next day after Sunday, the very day you will receive this, the day before Tuesday, and I hope two days before you begin your journey, which I hope will be a happy one. May you arrive safe, is the sincere wish of, dear sir, your most obedient and very humble servant,
THOMAS SHERIDAN.