# The Handsome cobler, or, The father outwitted (1802)/The Handsome cobler, or, The father outwitted

THE HANDSOME COBLER.
YOU that delight in merriment, come liſten to my ſong, 'Tis very new and certain true, you will not tarry long, Before you laugh your belly full, then pray be pleas'd to ſtay, And I hope you'll be well pleaſed, before you go away
There was a Knight in Derbyſhire, that had a handſome ſon, He kept a handſome chambermaid, the which his favour won; They dearly lov'd each other, and oft would ſport and play, Till he had got her belly up, pray mind now what I ſay
In tears to him ſhe told the ſtory, my deareſt love, ſaid ſhe, I am no leſs than twenty weeks, now gone with child to thee; He ſaid, Love, be contented, there all that can be ſaid, And do not let my Father know, next Sunday we'll be wed.
But mind how cruel fortune, their ruin ſtrove to force, ​The old man ſtood in a corner, and heard their whole diſcourſe; Next morn he call'd the chambermaid, likewiſe the youth his ſon, And with a ſmiling leering look, The tale he thus begun,
And ſaid, I wiſh you both much joy, you're to be wed on Sunday: But prithee now be rul'd by me, and put it off till Monday: It will be but one day longer, with that he laugh'd outright; But ah! ſaid he, I'll part you both, leſt it ſhould be to night.
He paid the girl her wages, and home the girl was ſent, And he confin'd to his chamber, in tears for to lament; Next morning away to London, along with a ſturdy guide, To his uncle's houſe in Cheap-ſide, and there for to abide.
And as they rode along the road, he ſaid unto the guide, I'll give thee full twenty guineas, let me but ſtep aſide. Becauſe this very morning, one word my Father ſaid, The which I will remember, and keep it in my head.
​The guide he then gave conſent; he went to his ſweetheart Sue, And told her the whole ſtory, that he deſign'd to do: Diſguiſed like an old Cobler, with ſham old muſty beard, In a leathern old coat not worth a groat, to his Father's houſe he rode.
He knocked at the door right hard, his father thither came, He ſaid, Sir, Are you ſuch a one? he anſwer'd, Yes I am; He ſaid, I underſtand your Son, a wanton trick has play'd, Unknown unto your worſbip, and with your chambermaid.
I underſtand ſome money, Sir, with her you're free to give, To help to keep the child and ſhe, as long as they ſhall live; And I'm an honeſt Cobler, that liveth here hard by, For fifty pounds I'll marry her, if that will ſatisfy.
The old man ſaid, before then the money I do pay, I'll ſee her fairly married, and I'll give her away: With all my heart, the Cobler unto the old man ſaid; ​With that he fetch'd the fifty pounds, the bargain it was made.
When he came into the church, as we do underſtand, The old man ſtrutted boldly up, and took her by the hand, And cry'd out, Heavens bliſs ye, and ſend you long to live, For, as a token of my love, theſe fifty pounds I give.
And ſo they parted friendly; the old man home he went, The bride and bridegroom rode away to London with content; Where ſhe was fairly brought to bed, with joy and much content: A letter into the country he to his father ſent.
Sir, I think it is my duty, that you acquainted be, There is a Lady in this city, that's fallen in love with me; Five hundred pounds a year ſhe's got, all in good houſe and land, And if you're willing to the match, come up Sir out of hand.
The old man got his coach, Sir, and up to London came, For to ſee this fair Lady, of noble birth and fame; ​But coming to his brother's houſe, this beauty for to view, He little thought this bonny bride, had been his ſervant Sue;
With gold and ſilver ſpangles, Sue was dreſs'd all around, The noiſe of her portion ſpread, of ſo many thouſand pound: The old man call'd his ſon aſide, and thus to him did ſay, Take my advice and marry her, my child this very day.
That morning they were married, and dinner being done, The old man being mellow, the ſtory thus begun: Says he, Dear son. I'll tell to you, nothing but what is true, A poor blinking one ey'd Cobler, has married your ſweetheart Sue.
The young man ſtept aſide, Sir, as I ſhall here confeſs, And in a very little time, put on the Cobler's dreſs, And taking Suſan by the hand, he fell upon his knees; Saying, Pardon honoured Father, Sir, pardon if you pleaſe.
Sir, I am John the Cobler, and this is honeſt Sue, ​Oh! pardon us dear Father, becauſe I tell you true If thou be the Cobler, ſaid the old man, that had the blinking eye. You've cobled me out of fifty pounds, a pox on your policy.
The Uncle has perſuaded him, and ſo did all the gueſts; The old man fell a laughing, and cry'd, I do confeſs. That I cannot be angry. and ſtraight theſe words did ſay, Come, do, call in the fidlers, and let's be merry to-day.
Thus we ſee the old and rich, are bit by policy: For beauty, wit, and manners, beyond all riches be. Then drink a health to the Cobler, another to honeſt Sue, See every one take off his glaſs, ſo I bid you all adieu.