# Henry IV Part 2 (1921) Yale/Text/Act II

Notes originally placed at the bottom of each page appear below, following Act II. Where these notes gloss a word in the text, the gloss can also be found by hovering over the text.
Where these notes refer to an end note (cf. n. = confer notam; "consult note"), a link to the accompanying end note is provided from the Footnotes section. The end notes accompanying Act II begin on page 128 of the original volume.
Layout 2
ACT SECOND
Scene One
[London. A Street]
Enter Hostess [Quickly of the Tavern], with two Officers, Fang and Snare.
Host. Master Fang, have you entered the action?
Fang. It is entered.
Host. Where's your yeoman? Is 't a lusty 4 yeoman? will a' stand to 't?
Fang. Sirrah!—where's Snare?
Host. O Lord, ay! good Master Snare.
Snare. Here, here. 8
Fang. Snare, we must arrest Sir John Fal- staff.
Host. Yea, good Master Snare; I have entered him and all. 12
Snare. It may chance cost some of us our lives, for he will stab.
Host. Alas the day! take heed of him: he stabbed me in mine own house, and that most 16 beastly. In good faith, a' cares not what mischief he doth if his weapon be out: he will foin like any devil; he will spare neither man, woman, nor child. 20
Fang. If I can close with him I care not for his thrust.
Host. No, nor I neither: I'll be at your elbow. 24
​Fang. An I but fist him once; an a' come but within my vice,—
Host. I am undone by his going; I warrant you, he's an infinitive thing upon my score. 28 Good Master Fang, hold him sure: good Master Snare, let him not 'scape. A' comes continuantly to Pie-corner—saving your manhoods—to buy a saddle; and he's indited to dinner to the Lub- 32 ber's Head in Lumbert Street, to Master Smooth's the silkman: I pray ye, since my exion is entered, and my case so openly known to the world, let him be brought in to his answer. A hundred 36 mark is a long one for a poor lone woman to bear; and I have borne, and borne, and borne; and have been fubbed off, and fubbed off, and fubbed off, from this day to that day, that it is a 40 shame to be thought on. There is no honesty in such dealing; unless a woman should be made an ass, and a beast, to bear every knave's wrong. Yonder he comes; and that arrant malmsey- 44 nose knave, Bardolph, with him. Do your offices, do your offices, Master Fang and Master Snare; do me, do me, do me your offices.
Enter Falstaff, and Bardolph.
Fal. How now! whose mare's dead? what's 48 the matter?
Fang. Sir John, I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly.
Fal. Away, varlets! Draw, Bardolph: cut 52 ​me off the villain's head; throw the quean in the channel.
Host. Throw me in the channel! I'll throw thee in the channel. Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou 56 bastardly rogue! Murder, murder! Ah, thou honey-suckle villain! wilt thou kill God's officers and the king's? Ah, thou honey-seed rogue! thou art a honey-seed, a man-queller, and a 60 woman-queller.
Fal. Keep them off, Bardolph.
Fang. A rescue! a rescue!
Host. Good people, bring a rescue or two! 64 Thou wo't, wo't thou? thou wo't, wo't ta? do, do, thou rogue! do, thou hemp-seed!
Fal. Away, you scullion! you rampallian! you fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe. 68
Enter Chief Justice.
Ch. Just. What is the matter? keep the peace here, ho!
Host. Good my lord, be good to me! I be- seech you, stand to me! 72
Ch. Just. How now, Sir John! what! are you brawling here? Doth this become your place, your time and business? You should have been well on your way to York. Stand from him, fellow: wherefore hang'st upon him? 76
Host. O, my most worshipful lord, an 't please your grace, I am a poor widow of East- cheap, and he is arrested at my suit.
Ch. Just. For what sum? 80
​Host. It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all I have. He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his: but I will have some of 84 it out again, or I will ride thee o' nights like the mare.
Fal. I think I am as like to ride the mare if I have any vantage of ground to get up. 88
Ch. Just. How comes this, Sir John? Fie! what man of good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation? Are you not ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to 92 come by her own?
Fal. What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
Host. Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself and the money too. Thou didst swear 96 to me upon a parcel-gilt goblet, sitting in my Dolphin-chamber, at the round table, by a sea- coal fire, upon Wednesday in Wheeson week, when the prince broke thy head for liking his 100 father to a singing-man of Windsor, thou didst swear to me then, as I was washing thy wound, to marry me and make me my lady thy wife. Canst thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech, 104 the butcher's wife, come in then and call me gossip Quickly? coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar; telling us she had a good dish of prawns; whereby thou didst desire to eat some, 108 whereby I told thee they were ill for a green wound? And didst thou not, when she was gone down stairs, desire me to be no more so famili- ​arity with such poor people; saying that ere 112 long they should call me madam? And didst thou not kiss me and bid me fetch thee thirty shillings? I put thee now to thy book-oath: deny it if thou canst. 116
Fal. My lord, this is a poor mad soul; and she says up and down the town that her eldest son is like you. She hath been in good case, and the truth is, poverty hath distracted her. 120 But for those foolish officers, I beseech you I may have redress against them.
Ch. Just. Sir John, Sir John, I am well ac- quainted with your manner of wrenching the 124 true cause the false way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng of words that come with such more than impudent sauciness from you, can thrust me from a level consideration; you 128 have, as it appears to me, practised upon the easy-yielding spirit of this woman, and made her serve your uses both in purse and in person.
Host. Yea, in troth, my lord. 132
Ch. Just. Prithee, peace. Pay her the debt you owe her, and unpay the villainy you have done her: the one you may do with sterling money, and the other with current repentance. 136
Fal. My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without reply. You call honourable boldness impudent sauciness: if a man will make curtsy, and say nothing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, 140 my humble duty remembered, I will not be your suitor: I say to you, I do desire deliverance from these officers, being upon hasty employment in the king's affairs. 144
​Ch. Just. You speak as having power to do wrong: but answer in the effect of your reputa- tion, and satisfy the poor woman.
Fal. Come hither, hostess. 148
[Taking her aside.]
Enter Master Gower.
Ch. Just. Now, Master Gower! what news?
Gow. The king, my lord, and Harry Prince of Wales Are near at hand: the rest the paper tells.
[Gives a letter.]
Fal. As I am a gentleman. 152
Host. Faith, you said so before.
Fal. As I am a gentleman. Come, no more words of it.
Host. By this heavenly ground I tread on, 156 I must be fain to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my dining-chambers.
Fal. Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking: and for thy walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the 160 story of the Prodigal, or the German hunting in water-work, is worth a thousand of these bed- hangings and these fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten pound if thou canst. Come, an it were 164 not for thy humours, there's not a better wench in England. Go, wash thy face, and draw the action. Come, thou must not be in this humour with me; dost not know me? Come, come, I 168 know thou wast set on to this.
Host. Prithee, Sir John, let it be but twenty ​nobles: i' faith, I am loath to pawn my plate, so God save me, la! 172
Fal. Let it alone; I'll make other shift: you'll be a fool still.
Host. Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my gown. I hope you'll come to supper. You'll 176 pay me all together?
Fal. Will I live? [To Bardolph.] Go, with her, with her; hook on, hook on.
Host. Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet 180 you at supper?
Fal. No more words; let's have her.
Exeunt Hostess, [Bardolph, Page,] and Sergeant[s].
Ch. Just. I have heard better news.
Fal. What's the news, my lord? 184
Ch. Just. Where lay the king last night?
Gow. At Basingstoke, my lord.
Fal. I hope, my lord, all's well: what is the news, my lord? 188
Ch. Just. Come all his forces back?
Gow. No; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse, Are march'd up to my Lord of Lancaster, Against Northumberland and the archbishop. 192
Fal. Comes the king back from Wales, my noble lord?
Ch. Just. You shall have letters of me presently. Come, go along with me, good Master Gower.
Fal. My lord! 196
Ch. Just. What's the matter?
Fal. Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to dinner? ​Gow. I must wait upon my good lord here; 200 I thank you, good Sir John.
Ch. Just. Sir John, you loiter here too long, being you are to take soldiers up in counties as you go. 204
Fal. Will you sup with me, Master Gower?
Ch. Just. What foolish master taught you these manners, Sir John?
Fal. Master Gower, if they become me not, 208 he was a fool that taught them me. This is the right fencing grace, my lord; tap for tap, and so part fair.
Ch. Just. Now the Lord lighten thee! thou 212 art a great fool. Exeunt.
Scene Two
[The Same]
Enter Prince Henry [and] Poins.
Prince. Before God, I am exceeding weary.
Poins. Is 't come to that? I had thought weariness durst not have attached one of so high blood. 4
Prince. Faith, it does me, though it dis- colours the complexion of my greatness to ac- knowledge it. Doth it not show vilely in me to desire small beer? 8
Poins. Why, a prince should not be so loosely studied as to remember so weak a composition.
Prince. Belike then my appetite was not princely got; for, by my troth, I do now re- 12 ​member the poor creature, small beer. But, indeed, these humble considerations make me out of love with my greatness. What a disgrace is it to me to remember thy name, or to know 16 thy face to-morrow! or to take note how many pair of silk stockings thou hast; viz. these, and those that were thy peach-coloured ones! or to bear the inventory of thy shirts; as, one for 20 superfluity, and another for use! But that the tennis-court-keeper knows better than I, for it is a low ebb of linen with thee when thou keepest not racket there; as thou hast not done a great 24 while, because the rest of thy low-countries have made a shift to eat up thy holland: and God knows whether those that bawl out the ruins of thy linen shall inherit his kingdom; but the 28 midwives say the children are not in the fault; whereupon the world increases, and kindreds are mightily strengthened.
Poins. How ill it follows, after you have 32 laboured so hard, you should talk so idly! Tell me, how many good young princes would do so, their fathers being so sick as yours at this time is? 36
Prince. Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins?
Poins. Yes, faith, and let it be an excellent good thing.
Prince. It shall serve among wits of no higher 40 breeding than thine.
Poins. Go to; I stand the push of your one thing that you will tell.
Prince. Marry, I tell thee, it is not meet that 44 I should be sad, now my father is sick: albeit I ​could tell to thee,—as to one it pleases me, for fault of a better, to call my friend,—I could be sad, and sad indeed too. 48
Poins. Very hardly upon such a subject.
Prince. By this hand, thou thinkest me as far in the devil's book as thou and Falstaff for obduracy and persistency: let the end try the 52 man. But I tell thee my heart bleeds inwardly that my father is so sick; and keeping such vile company as thou art hath in reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow. 56
Poins. The reason?
Prince. What wouldst thou think of me if I should weep?
Poins. I would think thee a most princely 60 hypocrite.
Prince. It would be every man's thought; and thou art a blessed fellow to think as every man thinks: never a man's thought in the world 64 keeps the road-way better than thine: every man would think me an hypocrite indeed. And what accites your most worshipful thought to think so?
Poins. Why, because you have been so lewd 68 and so much engraffed to Falstaff.
Prince. And to thee.
Poins. By this light, I am well spoke on; I can hear it with mine own ears: the worst that 72 they can say of me is that I am a second brother and that I am a proper fellow of my hands; and those two things I confess I cannot help. By the mass, here comes Bardolph. 76
Enter Bardolph and Page.
Prince. And the boy that I gave Falstaff: a' had him from me Christian; and look, if the fat villain have not transformed him ape.
Bard. God save your Grace! 80
Prince. And yours, most noble Bardolph.
Poins. [To the Page.] Come, you virtuous ass, you bashful fool, must you be blushing? where- fore blush you now? What a maidenly man-at- 84 arms are you become! Is 't such a matter to get a pottle-pot's maidenhead?
Page. A' calls me even now, my lord, through a red lattice, and I could discern no part of his 88 face from the window: at last, I spied his eyes, and methought he had made two holes in the ale-wife's new petticoat, and peeped through.
Prince. Hath not the boy profited? 92
Bard. Away, you whoreson upright rabbit, away!
Page. Away, you rascally Althea's dream, away! 96
Prince. Instruct us, boy; what dream, boy?
Page. Marry, my lord, Althea dreamed she was delivered of a firebrand; and therefore I call him her dream. 100
Prince. A crown's worth of good interpreta- tion. There 'tis, boy. [Gives him money.]
Poins. O! that this good blossom could be kept from cankers. Well, there is sixpence to 104 preserve thee.
Bard. An you do not make him be hanged among you, the gallows shall have wrong.
Prince. And how doth thy master, Bardolph? 108
​Bard. Well, my lord. He heard of your Grace's coming to town: there's a letter for you.
Poins. Delivered with good respect. And how doth the martlemas, your master? 112
Bard. In bodily health, sir.
Poins. Marry, the immortal part needs a physician; but that moves not him: though that be sick, it dies not. 116
Prince. I do allow this wen to be as familiar with me as my dog; and he holds his place, for look you how he writes.
Poins. [looking over the Prince's shoulder.] 120 'John Falstaff, knight,'—every man must know that, as oft as he has occasion to name himself: even like those that are kin to the king, for they never prick their finger but they say, 'There's 124 some of the king's blood spilt.' 'How comes that?' says he that takes upon him not to con- ceive. The answer is as ready as a borrower's cap, 'I am the king's poor cousin, sir.' 128
Prince. Nay, they will be kin to us, or they will fetch it from Japhet. But to the letter: 'Sir John Falstaff, knight, to the son of the king nearest his father, Harry Prince of 132 Wales, greeting.'
Poins. Why, this is a certificate.
Prince. Peace! 'I will imitate the honourable Romans in brevity:' 136
Poins. He sure means brevity in breath, short- winded.
Prince. 'I commend me to thee, I commend ​thee, and I leave thee. Be not too familiar with 140 Poins; for he misuses thy favours so much that he swears thou art to marry his sister Nell. Re- pent at idle times as thou mayest, and so farewell.
'Thine, by yea and no,—which is as 144 much as to say, as thou usest him, Jack Falstaff, with my familiars; John, with my brothers and sisters, and Sir John with all Europe.'148
Poins. My lord, I'll steep this letter in sack and make him eat it.
Prince. That's to make him eat twenty of his words. But do you use me thus, Ned? must 152 I marry your sister?
Poins. God send the wench no worse for- tune!—but I never said so.
Prince. Well, thus we play the fools with the time, and the spirits of the wise sit in the clouds 156 and mock us. Is your master here in London?
Bard. Yea, my lord.
Prince. Where sups he? doth the old boar feed in the old frank? 160
Bard. At the old place, my lord, in East- cheap.
Prince. What company?
Page. Ephesians, my lord, of the old church. 164
Prince. Sup any women with him?
Page. None, my lord, but old Mistress Quickly and Mistress Doll Tearsheet.
Prince. What pagan may that be? 168
Page. A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kins- woman of my master's.
Prince. Even such kin as the parish heifers ​are to the town bull. Shall we steal upon them, 172 Ned, at supper?
Poins. I am your shadow, my lord; I'll follow you.
Prince. Sirrah, you boy, and Bardolph; no 176 word to your master that I am yet come to town: there's for your silence. [Gives money.]
Bard. I have no tongue, sir.
Page. And for mine, sir, I will govern it. 180
Prince. Fare ye well; go. [Exeunt Bardolph and Page.] This Doll Tearsheet should be some road.
Poins. I warrant you, as common as the way between Saint Albans and London. 185
Prince. How might we see Falstaff bestow himself to-night in his true colours, and not ourselves be seen?
Poins. Put on two leathern jerkins and aprons, and wait upon him at his table as drawers. 191
Prince. From a god to a bull! a heavy descension! it was Jove's case. From a prince to a prentice! a low transformation! that shall be mine; for in every thing the purpose must weigh with the folly. Follow me, Ned. Exeunt.
Scene Three
[Warkworth. Before Northumberland's Castle]
Enter Northumberland, his wife, and the wife to Harry Percy.
North. I pray thee, loving wife, and gentle daughter, ​Give even way unto my rough affairs: Put not you on the visage of the times, And be like them to Percy troublesome. 4
Lady N. I have given over, I will speak no more: Do what you will; your wisdom be your guide.
North. Alas! sweet wife, my honour is at pawn; And, but my going, nothing can redeem it. 8
Lady P. O! yet for God's sake, go not to these wars. The time was, father, that you broke your word When you were more endear'd to it than now; When your own Percy, when my heart's dear Harry, 12 Threw many a northward look to see his father Bring up his powers; but he did long in vain. Who then persuaded you to stay at home? There were two honours lost, yours and your son's: 16 For yours, the God of heaven brighten it! For his, it stuck upon him as the sun In the grey vault of heaven; and by his light Did all the chivalry of England move 20 To do brave acts: he was indeed the glass Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves: He had no legs, that practis'd not his gait; And speaking thick, which nature made his blemish, 24 Became the accents of the valiant; For those that could speak low and tardily, Would turn their own perfection to abuse, To seem like him: so that, in speech, in gait, 28 In diet, in affections of delight, In military rules, humours of blood, He was the mark and glass, copy and book, That fashion'd others. And him, O wondrous him! 32 ​O miracle of men! him did you leave,— Second to none, unseconded by you,— To look upon the hideous god of war In disadvantage; to abide a field 36 Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name Did seem defensible: so you left him. Never, O! never, do his ghost the wrong To hold your honour more precise and nice 40 With others than with him: let them alone. The marshal and the archbishop are strong: Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers, To-day might I, hanging on Hotspur's neck, 44 Have talk'd of Monmouth's grave.
North.Beshrew your heart, Fair daughter! you do draw my spirits from me With new lamenting ancient oversights. But I must go and meet with danger there, 48 Or it will seek me in another place, And find me worse provided.
Lady N.O! fly to Scotland, Till that the nobles and the armed commons Have of their puissance made a little taste. 52
Lady P. If they get ground and vantage of the king, Then join you with them, like a rib of steel, To make strength stronger; but, for all our loves, First let them try themselves. So did your son; 56 He was so suffer'd: so came I a widow; And never shall have length of life enough To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes, That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven, 60 For recordation to my noble husband. ​North. Come, come, go in with me. 'Tis with my mind As with the tide swell'd up unto his height, That makes a still-stand, running neither way: 64 Fain would I go to meet the archbishop, But many thousand reasons hold me back. I will resolve for Scotland: there am I, Till time and vantage crave my company. 68
Exeunt.
Scene Four
[London. A Room in the Boar's Head Tavern, in Eastcheap]
Enter two Drawers [Francis and another].
First Draw. What the devil hast thou brought there? apple-johns? thou knowest Sir John can- not endure an apple-john.
Sec. Draw. Mass, thou sayst true. The prince 4 once set a dish of apple-johns before him, and told him there were five more Sir Johns; and, putting off his hat, said, 'I will now take my leave of these six dry, round, old withered 8 knights.' It angered him to the heart; but he hath forgot that.
First Draw. Why then, cover, and set them down: and see if thou canst find out Sneak's 12 noise; Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear some music. Dispatch: the room where they supped is too hot; they'll come in straight.
Sec. Draw. Sirrah, here will be the prince 16 and Master Poins anon; and they will put on ​two of our jerkins and aprons; and Sir John must not know of it: Bardolph hath brought word. 20
First Draw. By the mass, here will be old utis: it will be an excellent stratagem.
Sec. Draw. I'll see if I can find out Sneak.
Exit.
Enter Hostess and Doll.
Host. I' faith, sweetheart, methinks now you 24 are in an excellent good temperality: your pul- sidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would desire; and your colour, I warrant you, is as red as any rose; in good truth, la! But, i' faith, 28 you have drunk too much canaries, and that's a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere one can say, What's this? How do you now? 32
Dol. Better than I was: hem!
Host. Why, that's well said; a good heart's worth gold. Lo! here comes Sir John.
Enter Falstaff [singing].
Fal. 'When Arthur first in court'—Empty 36 the Jordan.—[Exit Drawer.]—'And was a worthy king.' How now, Mistress Doll!
Host. Sick of a calm: yea, good faith.
Fal. So is all her sect; an they be once in a 40 calm they are sick.
Dol. A pox damn you, you muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you give me?
Fal. You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll. 44
​Dol. I make them! gluttony and diseases make them; I make them not.
Fal. If the cook help to make the glut- tony, you help to make the diseases, Doll: we 48 catch of you, Doll, we catch of you; grant that, my poor virtue, grant that.
Dol. Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.
Fal. 'Your brooches, pearls, and owches':— 52 for to serve bravely is to come halting off, you know: to come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely; to venture upon the charged chambers bravely,— 56
Dol. Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!
Host. By my troth, this is the old fashion; you two never meet but you fall to some discord: 60 you are both, i' good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts; you cannot one bear with another's confirmities. What the good-year! one must bear, and that must be you: you are the weaker 64 vessel, as they say, the emptier vessel.
Dol. Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead? there's a whole merchant's venture of Bordeaux stuff in him: you have not 68 seen a hulk better stuffed in the hold. Come, I'll be friends with thee, Jack: thou art going to the wars; and whether I shall ever see thee again or no, there is nobody cares. 72
Enter Drawer [Francis].
Fran. Sir, Ancient Pistol's below, and would speak with you. ​Dol. Hang him, swaggering rascal! let him not come hither: it is the foul-mouthedest rogue 76 in England.
Host. If he swagger, let him not come here: no, by my faith; I must live among my neigh- bours; I'll no swaggerers: I am in good name 80 and fame with the very best. Shut the door; there comes no swaggerers here: I have not lived all this while to have swaggering now: shut the door, I pray you. 84
Fal. Dost thou hear, hostess?
Host. Pray ye, pacify yourself, Sir John: there comes no swaggerers here.
Fal. Dost thou hear? it is mine ancient. 88
Host. Tilly-fally, Sir John, ne'er tell me: your ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before Master Tisick, the debuty, t'other day; and, as he said to me,—'twas no longer ago 92 than Wedesday last,—'I' good faith, neighbor Quickly,' says he;—Master Dumbe, our minister, was by then;—'Neighbour Quickly,' says he, 're- ceive those that are civil, for,' said he, 'you are in 96 an ill name'; now, a' said so, I can tell where- upon; 'for,' says he, 'you are an honest woman, and well thought on; therefore take heed what guests you receive: receive,' says he, 'no swag- 100 gering companions.' There comes none here:— you would bless you to hear what he said. No, I'll no swaggerers.
Fal. He's no swaggerer, hostess; a tame 104 cheater, i' faith; you may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound: he'll not swagger with ​a Barbary hen if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance. Call him up, drawer. 108
[Exit Francis.]
Host. Cheater, call you him? I will bar no honest man my house, nor no cheater; but I do not love swaggering, by my troth; I am the worse, when one says swagger. Feel, masters, 112 how I shake; look you, I warrant you.
Dol. So you do, hostess.
Host. Do I? yea, in very truth, do I, an 'twere an aspen leaf: I cannot abide swaggerers. 116
Enter Ancient Pistol, and Bardolph and his boy.
Pist. God save you, Sir John!
Fal. Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge you with a cup of sack: do you dis- charge upon mine hostess. 120
Pist. I will discharge upon her, Sir John, with two bullets.
Fal. She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall hardly offend her. 124
Host. Come, I'll drink no proofs nor no bullets: I'll drink no more than will do me good, for no man's pleasure, I.
Pist. Then to you, Mistress Dorothy; I will 128 charge you.
Dol. Charge me! I scorn you, scurvy com- panion. What! you poor, base, rascally, cheat- ing, lack-linen mate! Away, you mouldy rogue, 132 away! I am meat for your master.
Pist. I know you, Mistress Dorothy.
Dol. Away, you cut-purse rascal! you filthy ​bung, away! By this wine, I'll thrust my knife 136 in your mouldy chaps an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal! you basket-hilt stale juggler, you! Since when, I pray you, sir? God's light! with two points 140 on your shoulder? much!
Pist. God let me not live but I will murder your ruff for this!
[Attacking her, and tearing her ruff.]
Fal. No more, Pistol: I would not have you 144 go off here. Discharge yourself of our company, Pistol.
Host. No, good captain Pistol; not here, sweet captain. 148
Dol. Captain! thou abominable damned cheater, art thou not ashamed to be called captain? An captains were of my mind, they would truncheon you out for taking their names 152 upon you before you have earned them. You a captain, you slave! for what? for tearing a poor whore's ruff in a bawdy-house? He a captain! Hang him, rogue! He lives upon 156 mouldy stewed prunes and dried cakes. A captain! God's light, these villains will make the word captain as odious as the word 'occupy,' which was an excellent good word before it was 160 ill sorted: therefore captains had need look to 't.
Bard. Pray thee, go down, good ancient.
Fal. Hark thee hither, Mistress Doll.
Pist. Not I; I tell thee what, Corporal Bar- 164 ​dolph; I could tear her. I'll be revenged of her.
Page. Pray thee, go down.
Pist. I'll see her damned first; to Pluto's 168 damned lake, by this hand, to the infernal deep, with Erebus and tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I. Down, down, dogs! down fai- tors. Have we not Hiren here? 172
Host. Good Captain Peesel, be quiet; 'tis very late, i' faith. I beseek you now, aggravate your choler.
Pist. These be good humours, indeed! Shall pack-horses, 176 And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia, Which cannot go but thirty mile a day, Compare with Cæsars, and with Cannibals, And Trojan Greeks? nay, rather damn them with 180 King Cerberus; and let the welkin roar. Shall we fall foul for toys?
Host. By my troth, captain, these are very bitter words. 184
Bard. Be gone, good ancient: this will grow to a brawl anon.
Pist. Die men like dogs! give crowns like pins! Have we not Hiren here? 188
Host. O' my word, captain, there's none such here. What the good-year! do you think I would deny her? for God's sake! be quiet.
Pist. Then feed, and be fat, my fair Calipolis. 192 Come, give's some sack. Si fortune me tormente, sperato me contento. Fear we broadsides? no, let the fiend give fire: ​Give me some sack; and, sweetheart, lie thou there. 196
[Laying down his sword.]
Come we to full points here, and are et ceteras nothing?
Fal. Pistol, I would be quiet.
Pist. Sweet knight, I kiss thy neif. What! we have seen the seven stars. 200
Dol. For God's sake, thrust him down stairs! I cannot endure such a fustian rascal.
Pist. 'Thrust him down stairs!' know we not Galloway nags? 204
Fal. Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove- groat shilling: nay, an a' do nothing but speak nothing, a' shall be nothing here.
Bard. Come, get you down stairs. 208
Pist. What! shall we have incision? Shall we imbrue? [Snatching up his sword.] Then death rock me asleep, abridge my doleful days! Why then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds Untwine the Sisters Three! Come, Atropos, I say! 212
Host. Here's goodly stuff toward!
Fal. Give me my rapier, boy.
Dol. I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee, do not draw. 216
Fal. Get you down stairs. [Drawing.]
Host. Here's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear keeping house, afore I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So; murder, I warrant now. Alas, alas! 220 put up your naked weapons; put up your naked weapons. [Exeunt Bardolph and Pistol.]
​Dol. I pray thee, Jack, be quiet; the rascal's gone. Ah! you whoreson little valiant villain, 224 you!
Host. Are you not hurt i' the groin? me- thought a' made a shrewd thrust at your belly.
[Enter Bardolph.]
Fal. Have you turned him out o' doors? 228
Bard. Yea, sir: the rascal's drunk. You have hurt him, sir, i' the shoulder.
Fal. A rascal, to brave me!
Dol. Ah, you sweet little rogue, you! Alas, 232 poor ape, how thou sweatest! Come, let me wipe thy face; come on, you whoreson chops. Ah, rogue! i' faith, I love thee. Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon, 236 and ten times better than the Nine Worthies. Ah, villain!
Fal. A rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket. 240
Dol. Do, an thou darest for thy heart: an thou dost, I'll canvass thee between a pair of sheets.
Enter Music.
Page. The music is come, sir. 244
Fal. Let them play. Play, sirs. Sit on my knee, Doll. A rascal bragging slave! the rogue fled from me like quicksilver.
Dol. I' faith, and thou followedst him like a 248 church. Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, when wilt thou leave fighting o' days, ​and foining o' nights, and begin to patch up thine old body for heaven? 252
Enter [behind] the Prince and Poins, disguised [like Drawers].
Fal. Peace, good Doll! do not speak like a death's head: do not bid me remember mine end.
Dol. Sirrah, what humour's the prince of? 256
Fal. A good shallow young fellow: a' would have made a good pantler, a' would have chipped bread well.
Dol. They say, Poins has a good wit. 260
Fal. He a good wit! hang him, baboon! his wit is as thick as Tewksbury mustard: there is no more conceit in him than is in a mallet.
Dol. Why does the prince love him so, then? 264
Fal. Because their legs are both of a bigness, and a' plays at quoits well, and eats conger and fennel, and drinks off candles' ends for flap- dragons, and rides the wild mare with the boys, 268 and jumps upon joint-stools, and swears with a good grace, and wears his boots very smooth, like unto the sign of the leg, and breeds no bate with telling of discreet stories; and such other 272 gambol faculties a' has, that show a weak mind and an able body, for the which the prince admits him: for the prince himself is such another; the weight of a hair will turn the 276 scales between their avoirdupois.
​Prince. Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off?
Poins. Let's beat him before his whore. 280
Prince. Look, whether the withered elder hath not his poll clawed like a parrot.
Poins. Is it not strange that desire should so many years outlive performance? 284
Fal. Kiss me, Doll.
Prince. Saturn and Venus this year in con- junction! what says the almanack to that?
Poins. And, look, whether the fiery Trigon, 288 his man, be not lisping to his master's old tables, his note-book, his counsel-keeper.
Fal. Thou dost give me flattering busses.
Dol. By my troth, I kiss thee with a most 292 constant heart.
Fal. I am old, I am old.
Dol. I love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young boy of them all. 296
Fal. What stuff wilt have a kirtle of? I shall receive money o' Thursday; shalt have a cap to-morrow. A merry song! come: it grows late; we'll to bed. Thou'lt forget me when I 300 am gone.
Dol. By my troth, thou'lt set me a-weeping an thou sayst so: prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy return. Well, hearken at the 304 end.
Fal. Some sack, Francis!
| Prince. | $\scriptstyle {\left.{\begin{matrix}\ \\\\\ \ \end{matrix}}\right\}\,$ | [Coming forward.] Anon, anon, sir. |
| Poins. | $\scriptstyle {\left.{\begin{matrix}\ \\\\\ \ \end{matrix}}\right\}\,$ | [Coming forward.] Anon, anon, sir. |
​Fal. Ha! a bastard son of the king's? And art not thou Poins his brother?
Prince. Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a life dost thou lead! 312
Fal. A better than thou: I am a gentleman; thou art a drawer.
Prince. Very true, sir; and I come to draw you out by the ears. 316
Host. O! the Lord preserve thy good Grace; by my troth, welcome to London. Now, the Lord bless that sweet face of thine! O Jesu! are you come from Wales? 320
Fal. Thou whoreson mad compound of majesty, by this light flesh and corrupt blood [pointing to Doll], thou art welcome.
Dol. How, you fat fool! I scorn you. 324
Poins. My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge and turn all to a merriment, if you take not the heat.
Prince. You whoreson candle-mine, you, how 328 vilely did you speak of me even now before this honest, virtuous, civil gentlewoman!
Host. God's blessing of your good heart! and so she is, by my troth. 332
Fal. Didst thou hear me?
Prince. Yea; and you knew me, as you did when you ran away by Gadshill: you knew I was at your back, and spoke it on purpose to try 336 my patience.
Fal. No, no, no; not so; I did not think thou wast within hearing.
Prince. I shall drive you then to confess the 340 ​wilful abuse; and then I know how to handle you.
Fal. No abuse, Hal, o' mine honour; no abuse. 344
Prince. Not to dispraise me, and call me pantler and bread-chipper and I know not what?
Fal. No abuse, Hal.
Poins. No abuse! 348
Fal. No abuse, Ned, in the world; honest Ned, none. I dispraised him before the wicked, that the wicked might not fall in love with him; in which doing I have done the part of a careful 352 friend and a true subject, and thy father is to give me thanks for it. No abuse, Hal; none, Ned, none: no, faith, boys, none.
Prince. See now, whether pure fear and 356 entire cowardice doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close with us? Is she of the wicked? Is thine hostess here of the wicked? Or is thy boy of the wicked? Or 360 honest Bardolph, whose zeal burns in his nose, of the wicked?
Poins. Answer, thou dead elm, answer.
Fal. The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph 364 irrecoverable; and his face is Lucifer's privy- kitchen, where he doth nothing but roast malt- worms. For the boy, there is a good angel about him; but the devil outbids him too. 368
Prince. For the women?
Fal. For one of them, she is in hell already, and burns poor souls. For the other, I owe her money; and whether she be damned for that, I 372 know not.
​Host. No, I warrant you.
Fal. No, I think thou art not; I think thou art quit for that. Marry, there is another in- 376 dictment upon thee, for suffering flesh to be eaten in thy house, contrary to the law; for the which I think thou wilt howl.
Host. All victuallers do so: what's a joint of 380 mutton or two in a whole Lent?
Prince. You, gentlewoman,—
Dol. What says your Grace?
Fal. His Grace says that which his flesh 384 rebels against.
Peto knocks at door.
Host. Who knocks so loud at door? Look to the door there, Francis.
Enter Peto.
Prince. Peto, how now! what news? 388
Peto. The king your father is at Westminster; And there are twenty weak and wearied posts Come from the north: and as I came along, I met and overtook a dozen captains, 392 Bare-headed, sweating, knocking at the taverns, And asking every one for Sir John Falstaff.
Prince. By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to blame, So idly to profane the precious time, 396 When tempest of commotion, like the south, Borne with black vapour, doth begin to melt And drop upon our bare unarmed heads. Give me my sword and cloak. Falstaff, good night. 400
Exeunt Prince and Poins [Bardolph and Peto].
Fal. Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the night, and we must hence and leave it un- picked. [Knocking within.] More knocking at the door! 404
[Enter Bardolph.]
How now! what's the matter?
Bard. You must away to court, sir, presently; A dozen captains stay at door for you.
Fal. [To the Page]. Pay the musicians, sirrah. 408 Farewell, hostess, farewell, Doll. You see, my good wenches, how men of merit are sought after: the undeserver may sleep when the man of action is called on. Farewell, good wenches. 412 If I be not sent away post, I will see you again ere I go.
Dol. I cannot speak; if my heart be not ready to burst,—well, sweet Jack, have a care 416 of thyself.
Fal. Farewell, farewell.
Exit [Falstaff, with Bardolph].
Host. Well, fare thee well: I have known thee these twenty-nine years, come peascod- 420 time; but an honester, and truer-hearted man, —well, fare thee well.
Bard. [Within.] Mistress Tearsheet!
Host. What's the matter? 424
Bard. [Within.] Bid Mistress Tearsheet come to my master.
Host. O! run, Doll, run; run, good Doll. Come! 428 She comes blubbered. Yea, will you come, Doll? Exeunt.
Footnotes to Act II
Scene One
​4 yeoman: sheriff's officer 19 foin: thrust (in fencing) ​26 vice: figuratively, grip 28 infinitive: infinite (Dame Quickly's more obvious errors in speech are not, hereafter, glossed) upon my score: in my debt 32, 33 Lubber's . . . Street: Libbard's, i.e., Leopard's, Head Inn, in Lombard Street 34 exion: Dame Quickly's error for 'action' 37 one; cf. n. 39 fubbed: fobbed, i.e., put off deceitfully 44, 45 malmsey-nose: red-nosed ​53 quean: hussy 54 channel: kennel, i.e., gutter 58 honey-suckle: Dame Quickly's error for 'homicidal' 59 honey-seed : homicide 60 man-queller: man-killer 65 wo't: wouldst ta: thou 67, 68 Cf. n. ​86 mare: nightmare 90 temper: character 97 parcel-gilt: partly gilded 98 sea-coal: mineral coal (brought by boat from Newcastle) 99 Wheeson: Whitsun 104 Keech: literally 'a lump of fat' 109 green: fresh ​119 case: circumstances 128 level: steady 136 current: genuine, with pun upon 'sterling' 137 sneap: snub ​145 Cf. n. 146 in the effect of: in a manner suitable to 159 Cf. n. 160 drollery: humorous painting 161 German hunting: German hunting-scene 162 water-work: water colors 165 humours: caprices 166 draw: withdraw ​171 nobles: gold coins worth about six shillings 194 presently: immediately ​210 Cf. n. 212 lighten: enlighten, used quibblingly
Scene Two
​3 attached: seised 5 discolours the complexion of my greatness: makes me blush 10 studied: inclined ​25-31 Cf. n. 42 push: thrust ​67 accites: invites 68 lewd: worthless 69 much engraffed: closely attached 73 second brother: younger son 74 proper fellow of my hands: good fellow with my fists ​86 pottle-pot: two-quart tankard 88 red lattice: ale-house window 95-100 Cf. n. 104 cankers: canker-worms ​112 martlemas; cf. n. 117 wen: swelling, i.e., Falstaff 126 takes upon him: pretends conceive: understand 127, 128 borrower's cap; cf. n. 130 fetch it from Japhet: trace kinship through Japhet, the son of Noah 130 ff. Cf. n. ​160 frank: sty 164 Ephesians: slang term for jolly fellows ​186 bestow: behave 192, 193 Cf. n.
Scene Three
​ ​11 endear'd: bound 24 thick: fast 29 affections of delight: favorite pastimes 30 blood: disposition ​38 defensible: able to furnish defense 40 nice: scrupulous 61 For recordation to: in memory of ​
Scene Four
​2 apple-johns: apples that keep well but become very much shriveled 11 cover: set the table 13 noise: band of musicians ​21, 22 old utis: rare sport 36 Cf. n. 37 Jordan: chamber-pot 39 calm: mistake for 'qualm' 40 sect: sex ​52 Cf. n. owches: jewels 56 chambers: small cannon 57 conger: eel 61 rheumatic: error for 'splenetic' (?) 63 good-year: corruption of French 'goujere,' 'the pox' 73 Ancient: ensign or second lieutenant, Peto being Captain Falstaff's first lieutenant ​80 swaggerers: bullies 91 debuty; cf. n. 104, 105 tame cheater; cf. n. ​107 Barbary hen: a hen whose feathers naturally turn back 130 companion: a term of contempt 132 mate: fellow, 'chap' ​136 bung: slang for 'sharper' 137 chaps: jaws 138 cuttle: slang for 'cut purse' 139 basket-hilt: referring to the basket-shaped steel hand-guard on the hilt of Pistol's sword juggler: trickster Since when, etc.: a cant exclamation of scorn 140 two points: shoulder tags, mark of an army commission 159 occupy; cf. n. ​171 faitors: imposters 172 Hiren; cf. n. 177, 178 Cf. n. 179 Cannibals: blunder for 'Hannibals' 182 toys: trifles 192 Cf. n. 194 Cf. n. ​197 full points: a full stop 199 neif: fist 200 seven stars: the Pleiades 202 fustian: nonsensical 204 Galloway nags: small and inferior breed of horses 205 Quoit: pitch shove-groat; cf. n. 209 imbrue: draw blood 212 Sisters Three: the Fates, Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos 213 toward: at hand 219 tirrits: blunder for terrors (?) ​234 chops: fat-face 249, 250 Bartholomew boar-pig: roast pig, a favorite dish at Bartholomew Fair ​258 pantler: servant in charge of the pantry 263 conceit: imagination 267 drinks . . . flapdragons; cf. n. 268 rides . . . mare: plays see-saw 269 joint-stools: stools made by a joiner, as distinguished from those of rough make 271 sign of the leg: a shoemaker's sign breeds no bate: causes no strife 273 gambol: sportive ​278 nave of a wheel: Falstaff's knavery and rotundity are both included in this phrase 282 poll: head 286 Cf. n. 288 fiery Trigon: Bardolph; cf. n. 289 lisping: making love old tables: old account book, i.e., the hostess 297 kirtle: waist or skirt or both 304 hearken at: watch ​326, 327 take . . . the heat: strike while the iron's hot 328 candle-mine: mine of tallow ​358 close: make peace 363 dead elm; cf. n. 364 pricked down: marked down 366, 367 malt-worms: ale-topers ​376 quit: absolved 390 posts: couriers 397 south: south wind ​413 post: in haste 428 S. d. blubbered: in tears