# Gesta Romanorum Vol. I (1871)/Of a perfect Life

TALE XVII.
OF A PERFECT LIFE.
An Emperor decreed, that whoever wished to serve him, should obtain his wish, conditionally, that he struck three times upon the palace-gate, by which those within might understand what he wanted. Now, there was a certain poor man in the Roman empire, called Guido; who, on hearing the mode by which admission to the Emperor's service was to be ​attained, thus thought—"I am a poor fellow, of low descent; it is better for me to serve and acquire wealth, than to live in independence and starve." So he proceeded to the palace, and according to the edict, gave three blows upon the gate. The porter immediately opened it, and brought him in. He was introduced to the Emperor's presence, who said, "What seek you, my friend?" Guido replied, "I wish to serve your Majesty."—"And for what office may you be fit?" returned the Emperor. "I can serve, with tolerable expertness, in six capacities;" said Guido, "First, I can act as body-guard to the prince; I can make his bed, dress his food, and wash his feet. Secondly, I can watch when others sleep, and sleep when others watch. Thirdly, I can drink good drink, and tell whether it be good or not. Fourthly, I can invite company to a festival for my master's honor. Fifthly, I can make a fire without the least smoke, which will warm all that approach it. Sixthly, I can teach people the way to the holy land, from whence they will return in excellent health."—"By my faith," said the Emperor, ​"these are fine matters, and will be useful to a good many: thou shalt stay with me, and serve me first as body-guard. In each department thou shalt remain a full year." Guido expressed himself content; and every night made ready the Emperor's bed, washed the linen, and occasionally changed it. Then he lay down at the entrance of the chamber, armed at all points. He likewise provided a dog, whose barking might warn him of any danger. Every night, he washed the King's feet, and in all respects ministered so faithfully and manfully, that not the least fault was found in him. The Emperor, therefore, was well pleased; and at the expiration of the year, made him his seneschal, preparatory to the fulfilment of the second office, which was, to provide every thing requisite. Then Guido commenced his operations; and during the whole summer collected a variety of stores, and watched with great assiduity the fittest opportunities. So that on the approach of winter, when others, who had wasted the proper season, began to labour and lay up, he took his ease and thus completed the service ​of the second year. When the Emperor perceived his diligence and sagacity, he called to him his chief butler, and said, "Friend, put into my cup some of the best wine, mingled with must and vinegar, (15) and give it to Guido to taste: for that is his third ministry, namely, to taste good drink, and pronounce upon its qualities." The butler did as he was commanded. When Guido had tasted, he said, "It was good; it is good, it will be good. That is, the must which is new, will be good when it is older; the old wine is good, at present; and the vinegar was good formerly." The Emperor saw that he had answered discreetly and accurately; and this without previously knowing the component parts of the beverage. He therefore said, "Go now through town and country and invite all my friends to a festival; for Christmas is at hand: herein shall consist your fourth ministry." Guido instantly set out; but instead of executing the orders he had received, he invited none but the Emperor's enemies: thus, on Christmas eve, his court was filled with them. When he ​observed this, he was exceedingly perturbed, and calling Guido to him, said, "How is this? did you not say that you knew what men to ask to my table?" He answered, "Surely, my Lord."—"And said I not," returned the Emperor, very much provoked, "said I not, that thou wert to invite my friends? How comes it that thou hast assembled only my enemies?"—"My Lord," replied Guido, "suffer me to speak. At all seasons, and at all hours, your friends may visit you, and they are received with pleasure; but it is not so with your enemies. From which reflection, I persuaded myself that a conciliating behaviour, and a good dinner would convert your inveterate enemies into warm friends." This was really the case; before the feast concluded, they all became cordial partisans, and as long as they lived remained faithful to their sovereign. The Emperor, therefore, was much delighted, and cried, "Blessed be God, my enemies, are now my friends! Execute thy fifth ministry, and make both for them and me, a fire that shall burn without smoke." Guido replied, ​"It shall be done immediately," and he thus performed his promise. In the heat of summer, he dried a quantity of green wood in the sun: having done this, he made a fire with it, that blazed and sparkled, but threw out no smoke: so that the Emperor and his friends warmed themselves without inconvenience. He was now directed to perform his last service, and promised great honours and wealth on completing it also, equally to the satisfaction of his master. "My Lord," said Guido, "whoever would travel to the Holy Land, must follow me to the sea-side." Accordingly, proclamation being made, men, women, and children, in immense crowds, hastened after him. When they arrived at the appointed place, Guido said, "My friends, do you observe in the sea the same things which I do?" They answered, "We know not that."—"Then," continued he, "do you perceive in the midst of the waves an immense rock? Lift up your eyes and look." They replied, "Master, we see it well enough, but do not understand why you ask us."—"Know," said he, "that in this rock there is a sort of ​bird, continually sitting on her nest, in which are seven eggs. While she is thus employed, the sea is tranquil; but if she happen to quit her nest, storm and tempest immediately succeed; insomuch, that they who would venture upon the ocean, are certain to be cast away. On the other hand, as long as she sits upon the eggs, whoever goes to sea, will go and return in safety."—"But," said they, "how shall we ascertain when the bird is on her nest, and when she is not?" He replied, "She never quits her nest, except on some particular emergency. For there is another bird, exceedingly hostile to her, laboring day and night to defile her nest, and break the eggs. Now, the bird of the nest, when she sees her eggs broken, and her nest fouled, instantly flies away possessed with the greatest grief; then, the sea rages and the winds become very boisterous. At that time, you ought especially to avoid putting out of port." The people made answer, "But, master, what remedy is there for this? How shall we prevent the unfriendly bird from approaching the other's nest, and so pass safely over the ​waters?"—"There is nothing," returned Guido, "which this unfriendly bird so much abhors as the blood of a lamb. Sprinkle, therefore, with this blood, the inside and the outside of the nest, and as long as one single drop remains, it will never approach it: the bird of the nest will sit: the sea will continue calm, and you will pass and repass with perfect safety." When they had heard this, they took the blood of the lamb, and sprinkled it, as he had said. They then passed securely to the Holy Land; and the Emperor, seeing that Guido had fulfilled every ministry with wisdom, promoted him to a great military command, and bestowed on him immense riches. (16)
APPLICATION.
My beloved, the Emperor is our heavenly Father, who decreed, that whosoever struck thrice upon the gate,—that is, who prayed, fasted, and gave alms, should become a soldier of the church militant, and finally attain ​everlasting life. Guido is any poor man, who in baptism begins his ministry. The first office, is to serve Christ, and prepare the heart for virtue. The second, is to watch: "For ye know not at what hour the Son of Man cometh." The third, to taste of penitence; which was good to the saints who live eternally in heaven; and it is good, because it brings us to that blessed situation. Lastly, it will be good, when the resurrection is come, and we are summoned to receive a crown of glory. The fourth ministry, is to invite Christ's enemies to become his friends, and inherit eternal life: for he "came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." The fifth, is to light the fire of charity which shall burn free from all impure and improper feelings. The sixth, to teach the way to the Holy Land,—that is, to heaven. The sea, over which men must be conveyed, is the world. The rock, in the midst of it, is the human form, or rather the heart, on which a bird cowers, that is, the Holy Spirit. The seven eggs, are seven gifts of the Spirit. If ​the Spirit leave us, the devil defiles the nest, and destroys those good gifts. The blood of the lamb is Christ's blood, shed for our salvation, with which we ought ever to be sprinkled; that is, ever to retain it in memory. (17)
Note 15.Page 86.
"Must and vinegar."
Must, is new wine. "Vinum igitur mustum, quomodo Cato loquitur, idem est, quod novum, sive οινος μοσχιδιος. Nonius: Mustum, non solum vinum, verum novellum quicquid est, rectè dicitur."
Vinegar, Lat. acetum. "Optimum, et laudatissimum acetum a Romanis habebatur Ægyptum, quod acrimoniam quidem habebat multam, sed mixtam tamen dulcedine aliqua, quæ asperitatem tollerit, nec horrorem gustandi injiceret." Facciol. The vinegar spoken of in the text, was probably sweetened.
Note 16.Page 90.
There are several popular stories not unlike the ​present; but they will probably occur to the memory of most readers.
Note 17.Page 92.
There is a curious defence of transubstantiation in this moral; and we may admire its ingenuity while we reprobate the absurd doctrine it is designed to advocate.
"You ask," says the writer of the Gest, "by what means bread may be converted into the real body of Christ. Observe how the mother nourishes her child. If she hunger, and want milk, the infant, deprived of its proper sustenance, languishes and dies. But if, in her greatest extremity, she drink but the lees of wine, those lees, taken by the mouth, become changed into blood, and supply milk and nutriment to the child. If nature, then, exert so much power over the woman, how much more shall the virtue of the sacramental rite, operating by the mouth of the priest, (that is, by the words of Christ proceeding from his mouth), convert bread into flesh, and wine into blood."