# The Genuine Remains in Verse and Prose of Mr. Samuel Butler/Volume 1/Satyr on our ridiculous imitation of the French

SATYR.
​So ours are often found t'have got More Tricks, than ever they were taught: With sly Intrigues and Artifices 40 Usurp their Poxes, and their Vices; With Garnitures upon their Shoes, Make good their Claim to gouty Toes; By sudden Starts, and Shrugs, and Groans Pretend to Aches in their Bones, 45 To Scabs and Botches, and lay Trains To prove their Running of the Reins; And, left they should seem destitute Of any Mange, that's in Repute, And be behind hand with the Mode 50 Will swear to Chrystallin and Node; And, that they may not lose their Right, Make it appear how they came by't: Disdain the Country, where th'were born, As Bastards their own Mothers scorn; 55 And that which brought them forth contemn, As it deserves for bearing them: Admire whate'er they find abroad, But nothing here, though e'er so good. Be Natives wheresoe'er they come, 60 And only Foreigners at home; To which th' appear so far estrang'd, As if th' had been i'th' Cradle chang'd; ​Or from beyond the Seas convey'd By Witches—not born here, but laid; 65 Or by outlandish fathers were Begotten on their Mothers here, And therefore justly slight that Nation, Where th' have so mungrel a Relation; And seek out other Climates, where 70 They may degenerate less than here; As Woodcocks, when their Plumes are grown, Born on the Winds Wings and their own, Forsake the Countries, where th'are hatcht, And seek out others, to be catcht: 75 So they more nat'rally may please And humor their own Geniuses, Apply to all Things, which they see With their own Fancies best agree; No matter how ridiculous, 80 'Tis all one, if it be in use; For nothing can be bad or good, But as 'tis in or out of Mode; And as the Nations are that use it, All ought to practise, or refuse it: 85 T' observe their postures, move, and stand As they give out the Word o'Command; To learn the dullest of their Whims And how to wear their very Limbs; ​To turn and manage every Part, 90 Like Puppets, by their Rules of Art; To shrug discreetly, act, and tread, And politicly shake the Head, Until the Ignorant (that guess a At all Things by th'Appearances) 95 To see how Art and Nature strive, Believe them really alive, And that th'are very Men, not Things That move by Puppet-work and Springs; When truly all their Feats have been 100 As well perform'd by Motion-men, And the worst Drols of Punchinellos Were much th' ingeniouser Fellows; For, when they're perfect in their Lesson, Th' Hypothesis grows out of Season, 105 And, all their Labour lost, they're fain To learn new, and begin again: To talk eternally and loud, And altogether in a Crowd, No matter what, for in the Noise 110 No Man minds what another says: T'assume a Confidence beyond Mankind, for solid and profound; And still the less and less they know, The greater Dose of that allow: 115 Decry all Things; for to be wise Is not to know, but to despite, ​And deep judicious Confidence Has still the Odds of Wit and Sense, And can pretend a Title to 120 Far greater Things than they can do: T' adorn their English with French Scraps, And give their very Language Claps; To Jernie rightly, and renounce I'th' pure and most approv'd of Tones, 125 And, while they idly think t'enrich, Adulterate their native Speech; For though to smatter Ends of Greek, Or Latin be the Rhetorique Of Pedants counted, and vain-glorious, 130 To smatter French is meritorious; And to forget their Mother-Tongue, Or purposely to speak it wrong, A hopeful Sign of Parts and Wit, And that th' improve and benefit; 135 As those, that have been taught amiss In liberal Arts and Sciences, Must all th' had learnt before in vain Forget quite, and begin again.
* ↑ Who wou'd not rather get him gone.] The Object of this Satyr was that extravagant and ridiculous Imitation of the French, which prevailed in Charles the Second's Reign, partly owing to the Connection and Intercourfe, which the Politicks of those Times, obliged us to have with that Nation, and partly to our eager Desire of avoiding the formal and precise Gravity of the hypocritical Age that preceded.It has been observed already, that our Poet is not a servile and exact Adherer to Grammatical Niceties, and it appears no where more plainly, than in this Composition; in which the Spirit and Warmth with which he writes, hurries him into a Neglect of that Connection, which a severe Critick might possibly require, but every Reader of Taste will easily excuse, if not approve.
* ↑ 11. As Monkies are by being taught.] Alluding to what Travellers relate of the Method of catching Monkies, by dropping Gloves, Stockings, &c. under the Trees; which, these silly Animals putting on, prevent them from making their Escape.