# The Rehearsal/Act 2-1

ACTUS II. SCÆNA I.
Bayes, Johnson and Smith.
Bayes.Now, Sir, because I'l do nothing here that ever was done before— [Spits.
Smi. A very notable design, for a Play, indeed.
Bayes. Instead of beginning with a Scene that discovers something of the Plot, I begin this with a whisper.
Smi. That's very new.
Bayes. Come, take your seats. Begin, Sirs.
Enter Gentleman-Usher and Physician.
Phys. Sir, by your habit, I should ghess you to be the Gentleman-Usher of this sumptuous place.
Ush. And, by your gait and fashion, I should almost suspect you rule the healths of both our noble Kings, under the notion of Physician.
Phys. You hit my Function right.
Ush. And you, mine.
Phys. Then let's imbrace.
Ush. Come then.
Phys. Come.
​Johns. Pray, Sir, who are those two so very civil persons?
Bayes. Why, Sir, the Gentleman-Usher, and Physicians of the two Kings of Brentford.
Johns. But how comes it to pass, then, that they know one another no better?
Bayes. Phoo! that's for the better carrying on of the Intrigue.
Johns. Very well.
Phys. Sir, to conclude,
Smi. What, before he begins?
Bayes. No, Sir; you must know they had been talking of this a pretty while without.
Smi. Where? in the Tyring-room?
Bayes. Why ay, Sir. He's so dull! Come, speak again.
Phys. Sir, to conclude, the place you fill, has more than amply exacted the Talents of a wary Pilot, and all these threatning storms which, like impregnant Clouds, do hover o'er our heads, (when they once are grasp'd but by the eye of reason) melt into fruitful showers of blessings on the people.
Bayes. Pray mark that Allegory. Is not that good?
Johns. Yes; that grasping of a storm with the eye is admirable.
Phys. But yet some rumours great are stirring; and if Lorenzo should prove false, (as none but the great Gods can tell) you then perhaps would find, that——— [Whispers.
Bayes. Now they whisper.
Ush. Alone, do you say?
Phys. No; attended with the noble——— [Whispers.
Ush. Who, he in gray?
Phys. Yes; and at the head of——— [Whispers.
Bayes. Pray mark.
Ush. Then, Sir, most certain, 'twill in time appear These are the reasons that induc'd 'em to't: First, he——— [Whispers.
Bayes. Now t'other whispers.
Ush. Secondly, they——— [Whispers.
Bayes. He's at it still.
​Ush. Thirdly, and lastly, both he, and they——— [Whispers.
[Exeunt Whispering.
Bayes. There they both whisper.
Now, Gentlemen, pray tell me true, and without flattery, is not this a very odd beginning of a Play?
Johns. In troth, I think it is, Sir. But why two Kings of the same place?
Bayes. Why? because it's new; and that's it I aim at. I despise your Johnson, and Beaumont, that borrow'd all they writ from Nature: I am for fetching it purely out of my own fancie, I.
Smi. But what think you of Sir John Suckling, Sir?
Bayes. By gad, I am a better Poet than he.
Smi. Well, Sir; but pray why all this whispering?
Bayes. Why, Sir, (besides that it is new, as I told you before) because they are suppos'd to be Polititians; and matters of State ought not to be divulg'd.
Smi. But then, Sir, why———
Bayes. Sir, if you'l but respite your curiosity till the end of the fifth Act, you'l find it a piece of patience not ill recompenc'd. Goes to the door.
Johns. How dost thou like this, Frank? Is it not just as I told thee?
Smi. Why, I did never, before this, see any thing in Nature; and all that, (as Mr. Bayes says) so foolish, but I could give some ghess at what mov'd the Fop to do it; but this, I confess, does go beyond my reach.
Johns. Why, 'tis all alike: Mr. Wintershull has inform'd me of this Play before. And I'l tell thee, Frank, thou shalt not see one Scene here, that either properly ought to come in, or is like any thing thou canst imagine has ever been the practice of the World. And then, when he comes to what he calls good language, it is, as I told thee, very fantastical, most abominably dull, and not one word to the purpose.
Smi. It does surprise me, I am sure, very much.
Johns. I, but it won't do so long: by that time thou hast seen a Play or two, that I'l shew thee, thou wilt be pretty well acquainted with this new kind of Foppery.