# All the Works of Epictetus, Which Are Now Extant/Book 4/Chapter 5

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CHAPTER V.
Concerning the Quarrelsome, and Ferocious.
§. 1.A wise and good Person neither quarrels with any one himself, nor, as far as possible, suffers another. The Life of Socrates affords us an Example of this too, as well as of the other [Virtues]; who not only every-where avoided quarrelling himself, but did not even suffer others to quarrel. See in Xenophon's Symposium, how many Quarrels he ended; how, again, he bore with Thrasymachus, with Polus, with Callicles; how, with his Wife, how, with his Son, who attempted to confute him, and cavilled with him. For he well remembered, that no one is Master of the ruling Faculty of another; and therefore he desired nothing but what was his own.——"And what is that?"——Not that this [or that] Person should be moved conformably to Nature; for that belongs to others; but that while they act in their own Way, as they please, he should nevertheless be affected, and live conformably to Nature, only doing what belongs to himself, in order to make them too live conformably to Nature. For this is the Point, that a wife and good Person hath in view. To have the Command of an Army? No: but if it be allotted him, to preserve on this Subject of Action, the right Conduct of his own ruling Faculty. To marry? No: but if a Marriage be allotted him, to preserve himself, on this Subject of Action, conformable to Nature. But, if he would have his Wife, or his Child, exempt from Fault, he would have that his own, which belongs to others. And being instructed, consists in this very ​Point, To learn what Things are our own, and what belong to others.
§. 2. What room is there then for quarrelling, to a Person thus disposed? For doth he wonder at any thing that happens? Doth it appear new to him? Doth not he expect worse and more grievous Injuries from bad People, than happen to him? Doth he not reckon it so much gained, as they come short of the last Extremities? Such a one hath reviled you.——You are much obliged to him, that he hath not struck you.——But he hath struck you too.——You are much obliged to him, that he hath not wounded you too.——But he hath wounded you too.——You are much obliged to him, that he hath not killed you. For when did he ever learn, or from whom, that he is a gentle, that he is a social Animal: that the very Injury itself is a great Mischief to the Injurious? As then he hath not learned these Things, nor believes them, why should he not follow what appears for his Interest? Your Neighbour hath thrown Stones. What then? Is it any Fault of yours? But your Goods are broken. What then? Are you a Piece of Furniture? No: but your Essence consists in the Faculty of Choice. What Behaviour then is assigned you, in Return? If you consider yourself as a Wolf——to bite again, to throw more Stones. But if you ask the Question, as a Man, examine your Treasure: see what Faculties you have brought into the World with you. Are they Dispositions to Ferocity? To Revenge? When is a Horse miserable? When he is deprived of his natural Faculties. Not when he cannot crow, but when he cannot run. And a a Dog? not when he cannot fly, but when he cannot hunt. Is not a Man then also unhappy in the same manner? Not he, who cannot strangle Lions, or grasp Statues, (for he hath received no Fa​culties for this purpose from Nature;) but who hath lost his Rectitude of Mind, his Fidelity. Such a one is the Person, who ought to be publicly lamented, for the Misfortunes into which he is fallen: not, by Heaven, either he who is born or dies; but he, whom it hath befallen while he lives to lose what is properly his own: not his paternal Possessions, his paultry Estate, or his House, his Lodging, or his Slaves, (for none of these are a Man's own; but all belonging to others, servile, dependent, and given at different Times, to different Persons, by the Disposers of them;) but his personal Qualifications as a Man, the Impressions which he brought into the World stampt upon his Mind: such as we seek in Money; and, if we find them, allow it to be good; if not, throw it away. "What Impression hath this Piece of Money?"——"Trajan's." "Give it me."——Nero's." Throw it away. It is false: it is good for nothing. So in the other Case. "What Impression have his Principles?" "Gentleness, social Affection, Patience, Good-nature." Bring them hither. I receive them. I make such a Man a Citizen; I receive him for a Neighbour, a fellow Traveller. Only see that he hath not the Neronian Impression. Is he passionate? Is he resentful? Is he querulous? Would he, if he took the Fancy, break the Head of those who fall in his way? Why then do you ​call him a Man? For is every thing distinguished by a mere outward Form? Then say, just as well, that a Piece of Wax is an Apple, or that it hath the Smell and Taste too. But the external Figure is not enough: nor, consequently, is it sufficient to make a Man, that he hath a Nose and Eyes, if he hath not the proper Principles of a Man. Such a one doth not understand Reason, or apprehend when he is confuted. He is an Ass. Another is dead to the Sense of Shame. He is a worthless Creature; any thing, rather than a Man. Another seeks whom he may kick or bite: so that he is neither Sheep nor Ass. But what then? He is a wild Beast,
§. 3. "Well: but would you have me despised then?"——By whom? By those who know you? And how can They despise you, who know you to be gentle and modest? But, perhaps, by those who do not know you? And what is that to You? For no other Artist troubles himself about the Ignorant.——"But People will be much the readier to attack me."——Why do you say me? Can any one hurt your Choice, or restrain you from treating conformably to Nature, the Appearances that are presented to you? Why then are you disturbed, and desirous to make yourself appear formidable? Why do not you make public Proclamation, that you are at Peace with all Mankind, however they may act and that you chiefly laugh at those, who suppose they can hurt you. "These Wretches neither know who I am, or in what consist my Good and Evil: or that there is no Access for them to what is really mine." Thus the Inhabitants of a fortified City laugh at the Besiegers. "What Trouble now are these People giving themselves for nothing? Our Wall is secure; we ​have Provisions for a very long Time, and every other Preparation." These are what render a City fortified, and impregnable: but nothing but its Principles render the human Soul so. For what Wall is so strong, what Body so impenetrable, or what Possession so unalienable, or what Dignity so secured against Stratagems? All Things else, every-where else, are mortal, easily reduced; and whoever, in any degree, fixes his Mind upon them, must necessarily be subject to Perturbation, Despair, Terrors, Lamentations, disappointed Desires, and incurred Aversions.
§. 4. And will we not fortify then the only Place of Security that is granted us; and, withdrawing ourselves from what is mortal and servile, diligently improve what is immortal, and by Nature free? Do we not remember, that no one either hurts or benefits another: but the Principle, which we hold concerning every thing, doth it? It is this that hurts us; this that overturns us. Here is the Fight, the Sedition, the War. It was nothing else, that made Eteocles and Polynices Enemies, but their Principle concerning Empire, and their Principle concerning Exile: that the one seemed the extremest Evil; the other, the greatest Good. Now the very Nature of every one is to pursue Good, to avoid Evil; to esteem him as an Enemy and Betrayer, who deprives us of the one, and involves us in the other, though he be a Brother, or a Son, or Father. For nothing is more nearly related to us than Good. So that if Good and Evil consist in Externals, there is no Affection between Father and Son, Brother and Brother; but all is every-where full of Enemies, Betrayers, Sycophants. But if a right Choice be the only Good, and a wrong one the only Evil, what further room is there for quarrelling, for reviling? About what? About what is nothing to us? Against whom? Against the Ignorant, against ​the Unhappy, against those who are deceived in Things of the greatest Importance?
§. 5. Mindful of this, Socrates lived in his own House, patiently bearing a furious Wife, a senseless Son. For what were the Effects of her Fury? The throwing as much Water as the pleased on his Head, the trampling a Cake under her Feet. "And what is this to me, if I think such Things nothing to me? This very Point is my Business: and neither a Tyrant, nor a Master, shall restrain my Will; nor Multitudes, though I am a single Person; nor one ever so strong, though I am ever so weak. For this is given by God to every one, free from Restraint."
§. 6. These Principles make Friendship in Families, Concord in Cities, Peace in Nations. They make a Person grateful to God, every-where in good Spirits, [about Externals,] as belonging to others, as of no Value. But we, alas! are able indeed to write and read these Things, and to praise them when they are read; but very far from being convinced by them. Therefore what is said of the Lacedemonians,
Lions at Home, Foxes at Ephesus,
may be applied to us too: Lions in the School, but Foxes out of it.
* ↑ Perhaps for κινη ουτος τι, should be read, κινηται ουτος; and the Translation follows this Conjecture.
* ↑ Like Hercules and Diogenes. See p. 228. Note (b).
* ↑ An Allusion to a Passage in Euripides. The general Sense of which is, That we ought to lament the Person who is born, from a Consideration of the Evils into which he is coming, and to rejoice over the Dead, who is at rest from his Labours. Upton.There is an Account in Herodotus, of a People of Thrace, who used to assemble, and condole with a Family where any one was born; and, on the contrary, express great joy and Congratulation where ever there happened a Death. L. 5. c. 4.
* ↑ Nero being declared an Enemy by the Senate, his Coin was, in consequence of this, prohibited and destroyed.
* ↑ The Name of some Animal would suit better here, than the Epithet αχρηστος. But χοιρος, a Hog, is a Word too unlike; and I can think of no better.
* ↑ Alcibiades sent a fine great Cake, as a Present to Socrates: which so provoked the Jealousy of the meek Xantippe, that she threw it down, and stampt upon it. Socrates only laughed, and said, "Now you will have no Share in it yourself." Upton from Ælian.