# Chapter IX: What is Learned in a Secret Tunnel

26. The next entry is mystifying:
"We are between the devil and the deep sea!... which gives me time to write.... The beastly tunnel has caved in midway in our passage.... It seems, from the roar overhead, that we are somewhere beneath the railroad tracks. Yet there must be a vent somewhere, as there seems to be a draft of air through this passage.... The family are congregated off to the right, in a kind of stoping where the dirt has been removed, leaving a small room like one meets with in the Gogebic iron mines in Wisconsin and Michigan, back in the United States.... Our little electric bull's-eyes come in handy just now.... With my bull's-eye propped up on a sand-encrusted box I am noting down some things that must not be forgotten.... While trying to find a passageway out of this hole in the ground we gyrated back and forth for the last two or three hours until the women became exhausted.... Then my 'prisoner' and I returned to the mouth of the entrance. There we heard a horrible row between the unruly brute we left on the floor and his wild-eyed fellow conspirators.... They accused him of DOUBLE-CROSSING THEM and making away with the treasure that they insisted should be theirs!
"... He insisted that there was NO treasure EXCEPT the JEWEL he apparently was exhibiting.... We could hear, quite distinctly, a sullen voice saying: 'I do not believe you; you are trying to steal the whole of it!... We'll give you ten minutes to produce ALL you have hid away, and if you don't do it, we'll fill your body so full of lead that your rotten carcass won't float in the Kolunda.'... The culprit replied: 'Let me explain. You remember that I was suspecting that interloper when I insisted on watching him; well, my suspicions were correct,--he was a TRAITOR to our cause. He was planning to steal away with his precious gang when I covered them with my pistol. Then when I had the drop on them I made them open all of their trunks and boxes. Nothing was found. I felt sure they were holding out on me, so I took a shot at the kid. The interloper made a dive at me. I knocked him down with that chair there.... then in my rage I emptied my pistol into the hearts of the whole gang.... that's all there's to it.'... 'He's lying!' 'Traitor!' 'Betrayer!' 'Down with the thief!' flew back and forth from one to another above our heads.... Then in a more subdued voice we heard 'Hist! Silence! Some one is coming!' A moment later I heard distinctly the unmistakable growl of my hero of Gallipoli overhead demanding, 'WHAT HAVE YOU CUTTHROATS DONE WITH OUR PRISONERS?' ... There was a silence that could be felt.... None offered an explanation that I could hear.... 'Why don't you answer?' thundered Gallipoli.... There was an unmistakable murmur.... 'Don't YOU try to slide out of this, you COWARD! I'll hold every one of you responsible for this! Where's my lieutenant?'... He means ME....
"'Out in the yard,' I heard one of them reply.... 'Go and tell him to report here AT ONCE!'... Poor devil! the humor of this whole situation is displayed in the tragic possibilities of criminal greed when crooks fall out!... 'Where are the others?' my Gallipoli hero demanded.... I heard no answer.... 'DO YOU HEAR ME?'... still no audible answer.... 'Crack!'.... the report of a revolver, then a scuffling and 'stand back! Another move and I'll blow you ALL to HELL,--line up there!.... Now I order you to explain the whereabouts of the PRISONERS.'
"... We could hear a voice boasting: 'Did you see that BLOOD in yonder? Well, that is our answer. We were suspicious of that Lieutenant of yours so we took the matter into our own hands.'... 'WHO DID THE KILLING?'... 'The Sergeant.'... 'And what did he DO with the bodies?'... 'Threw them into the well!'... 'The devil! you'll have to fish them out again!'... Then there was a long silence.... Finally we heard: 'Here, Sergeant!' from HE of Gallipoli; 'when will my lieutenant report?'... 'The Captain said to present his compliments and say that he is temporarily detained.'... My 'prisoner' poked me in the ribs impulsively and smiled.... 'Where are the BODIES?'... 'Burned!' said the Sergeant. 'WHAT?'... 'BURNED UP?... 'Who burned them?'... 'I did, Sir.'... 'Didn't throw them in the well?'... 'No, Sir.'... 'Well, I'll be damned!... FALL IN! Unless those prisoners are produced I'll court-martial every one of you!'
"... We could hear the measured tread of a squad overhead tramping away until the thump, thump, thumping sank into a faint indistinct vibration which was caught up by the beating of our hearts and the throbbing of our fascinated and incredulous ears.... 'Well!' ejaculated my amused 'prisoner'; 'It'll be exceedingly interesting to read the future accounts of my double execution. I am sure my family will read it with greater interest than they've ever manifested in any of London's or Gorky's fanciful novels!'... 'I assume that you will not be surprised to learn that you have some mighty good friends in that crowd outside,' I ventured.... 'Oh, not at all,' my prisoner returned, 'and I venture to say that your friend from Gallipoli will find it convenient to contribute to the general misunderstanding and confusion by allowing the suspected executioners to air their conflicting explanations of my disappearance.'
"'We haven't disappeared yet, my friend!' I grumbled, as we turned back in the direction of our underground camp.... 'If we had some shovels it would solve the problem; but the way we're fixed it looks like a case of starvation or surrender for the whole of us,--we can't stay down here indefinitely!'... 'Patience, courage, my friend,' my 'prisoner' replied whole-heartedly; 'this is the first time in my life I have been absolutely alone, the first moment in our lives we have been positively FREE!'... He took a few swift steps and swung around gracefully, like a figure in a dance.... 'I love the mazurka!' he exclaimed!... 'I'd like to have a real pillow fight again with the children!... We used to have such fun!... It was about the only time my wife would ever smile!... I used to tell her that she reminded me of the sad goddesses that stood on the dull red cornices of my Winter Palace looking coldly into space during any of the Court ceremonies.... Really that was true,--a woman like my wife, in a manteau de cour, a head flaming with the rays of her kokoshnik and supported by that long white veil, DOES resemble an icicle in the Winter Palace!... But when we are alone!... the Zaritsa is a motherly MOTHER!... You'll see.... We have always loved simplicity.... This is our chance.... I never did like the late suppers and high life indulged in by some of my relations.... My greatest dissipation was at the Marinsky when we'd sup between acts and go straight home to bed.... Grand Duke Alexis never wanted to go to bed.... After the theatre he was always primed for another party out at the Islands.... Our motto has always been, "Early to bed and early to rise."... Had to.... At work early after breakfast till eleven ... luncheon ... to work again at half past twelve until dinner ... back to work until very late at night.... NOW we are hearing of our misguided workmen and soldiers attempting to run the country on SIX HOURS WORK A DAY!... That would be delightful if they would only devote the remaining hours to recreation and STUDY.'... My 'prisoner' seemed positively boyish....
"His voice was in pleasant contrast to the shrill staccato accents I had heard in that gloomy underground room of the Foreign Office at Berlin.... I could see at a glance that his present attitude was not a pose,--his simplicity, like his courage and democracy, was GENUINE.... It explains the reason for his composure at THIS VERY MINUTE when a less courageous man would be excitedly running around in circles and making my life miserable by bemoaning our ill luck.... To show the morale of this family of cave dwellers I'll record this incident: 'Be careful about those electric lamps,' I requested of the ladies. 'If they give out we'll be in darkness.' ... 'Then we'll use our hands and dig ourselves out to daylight!' exclaimed Maria.... 'WHY can't we start doing THAT NOW?' exclaimed Tatiana.... 'Come on!' chorused Alexis and his four sisters as they fell to and are now pawing the dirt away from the embankment that impedes our escape.... I'll have to supervise that work a little, for if these girls continue to pile back the dirt the way they are doing it they may stop up the passage both ways and bury us all alive...."