# Pleased to Meet You/Chapter 7

Nyla, whose acquaintance with men was limited, had never seen so unusual and charming a person. Colonel Cointreau's immaculate evening dress and his gay affable talk eased the embarrassments of the elaborate dinner table; even Herr Guadeloupe forgot to miss the onion soup for one evening. The Colonel complimented Nyla on her frock, patted her arm eneouragingly as he escorted her to the dining room, and tutored the President in the choice of forks and spoons with such unobtrusive grace that no one could have been offended. Indeed in another land one would have said that the Colonel had been raised from boyhood on the Book of Etiquette and Twenty Minutes a Day with the Harvard Classics. He restrained the President from tucking his napkin into his ​collar, deftly removed the bread-crust when Guadeloupe began using it to sponge up the last of a rich gravy, and his gentle "I think the other spoon, Herr President" was like a parenthetical refrain in his fluent conversation. Illyrian table manners, as travellers have noted, are often a form of rapid transit rather than a social ceremony, but the Colonel was very patient. "You must remember the effect on our American bondholders," was his persuasive reminder when the President seemed a little restless under discipline.
After dinner Herr Guadeloupe was allowed to compose himself with his favourite game of patience, and three aces in the first row of cards helped to solace him. The Colonel, sitting with Nyla by candle-light on an old brocade sofa, remarked that the romantic and sentimental associations of Farniente were stimulating to anyone sensitive to such influences.
"History keeps repeating itself," he said, alluding to the gallant career of the Grand Duke.
​"I don't suppose that matters," said Nyla, "as long as it repeats pleasant things."
Somehow they had embarked upon palmistry, which the Colonel said was often a valuable aid to statesmanship.
"This is so much pleasanter than the League headquarters at Geneva," he averred. "A dull place, full of card indexes and diplomatic dossiers, Now your hand, Fräulein, is obviously that of a loyal, frank and affectionate nature, full of generous impulses that should be encouraged. What a pity I could not have studied it long ago. I could have told that you were destined for high things. See how the life-line slants upward. I see a long life. There are at least sixty happy years before you, full of interest."
"Just about long enough to pay off the American debt," said the President. "You don't see anything there about a rate of interest higher than one per cent., do you? Because if so, we're done for."
"I see surprises caused by strangers from ​abroad," said the Colonel, examining closely and tenderly. He was about to remark how beautiful the terrace would be in the moonlight when Romsteck brought in a telegram.
"Gott!" cried Guadeloupe as he read the message. "You're right. He's coming at once."
"Who?" exclaimed the palmists.
"The American. And not just acommissioner, a full-fledged ambassador. That means we'll have to put him up here, as a matter of courtesy, until he finds a house. Lord, I didn't suppose he'd come until we'd got straightened out. How can I explain that the new taxation isn't in effect yet."
"You'll have to keep his mind off financial matters until things are settled," said the Colonel. "We'll give him a big dinner and a ball. We'll take him moating. We'll sing him our moating song."
"Do you speak American?" asked Nyla. "Daddy and I know very little."
"Enough to get along with."
Well, you'll have to interpret for me," said ​the worried President. "Good God, I must speak to the Finance Minister at once," and he fled to Farniente's one telephone.
Even the imperturbable Cointreau seemed a little troubled as he read the telegram that still lay on the card table. It said:—
Congratulations your inauguration united states congress voted full recognition illyrian republic hon ulysses quackenbush now in geneva accompanied frau quackenbush will proceed farniente discuss debt settlement quackenbush very influential united states probably eventual ambassador very important show all possible courtesies secretariat league of nations.
"Worse and worse," said the President returning a few minutes later. "He's coming to-morrow."