# Hudibras/Part 3/Canto 3

PART III. CANTO III.
ARGUMENT.
PART III. CANTO III.
HO would believe what strange bugbears Mankind creates itself, of fears, That spring, like fern, that insect weed, Equivocally, without seed, And have no possible foundation, 5 But merely in th' imagination? And yet can do more dreadful feats Than hags, with all their imps and teats; Make more bewitch and haunt themselves, Than all their nurseries of elves. 10 For fear does things so like a witch, 'Tis hard t' unriddle which is which; Sets no communities of senses, To chop and change intelligences; As Rosicrucian virtuosos 15 Can see with ears, and hear with noses;
As you have well instructed me, For which you 've earn'd, here 'tis, your fee. I long to practise your advice, And try the subtle artifice; To bait a letter as you bid— 785 As, not long after, thus he did: For, having pump'd up all his wit. And humm'd upon it, thus he writ.
* ↑ He calls it an insect weed, on the supposition of its being bred, as many insects were thought to be, by what was called equivocal, or spontaneous, generation. Ferns have seeds so small as to be almost invisible to the naked eye; whence the ancients held them to be without seed. Our ancestors, believing that the seed of this plant was invisible, reported that those who possessed the secret of wearing it about them would become likewise invisible. Shakspeare registers this notion, no doubt banteringly, in his Henry IV. Part I. Gadshill,—We steal as in a castle, cock-sure; we have the receipt of fern-seed, we walk invisible.
* ↑ Alluding to common superstitions about witches.
* ↑ Grey calls this a banter on the Marquis of Worcester's century of inventions; amongst which is one entitled, "how to write by the smell, the touch, or the taste, as distinctly and unconfusedly, yea, as readily, as by the sight." Butler, in his Remains, says: "This is an art to teach men to see with their ears, and hear with their eyes and noses, as it has been found true by experience and demonstration, if we may believe the history of the Spaniard, that could see words, and swallow music by holding the peg of a fiddle between his teeth; or him that could sing his part backward at first sight, which those that were near him might hear with their noses." See Remains, vol. ii. p. 245. Nash thinks that Butler probably meant to ridicule Sir Kenelm Digby, who in his "Treatise on the Nature of Bodies," tells the story of a Spanish nobleman "who could hear by his eyes and see words."
* ↑ Grey supposes that Stephen Marshal, a famous Presbyterian preacher, who dealt largely in hell and damnation, and was called the Geneva Bull, is here intended. But Nash thinks that the word marshal is a title of office and rank, not the name of any particular man, and that legion is used for the name of a leader, or captain of a company of devils. The meaning is, that the Knight was haunted by a crew of devils, such as that in the Gospel, which obtained the name of Legion, because they were many.
* ↑ The poet, with great wit, rallies the imaginary and groundless fears which possess some persons: and from whence proceed the tales of ghosts and apparitions, imps, conjurers, and witches.
* ↑ It was Ralpho who, though unknown, conveyed the Knight out of the widow's house.
* ↑ We have now arrived at the third day of the notion of the poem. From the opening of these adventures every morning and night has been poetically described.
* ↑ Var. convey'd him, in the editions before 1684.
* ↑ It is here said that Ralpho guessed his master was conveyed away, and that he believed himself to be all alone when he made his lamentation: but this must be a slip of memory in the poet, for some parts of his lamentations are not at all applicable to his own case, but plainly designed for his master's hearing: such are ver. 1371, &c., of Part iii. c. i. In satirical poetry absolute consistency is not indispensable.
* ↑ Sir Hudibras, we may remember, though he had no objection to consult with evil spirits, did not speak of them with much respect.
* ↑ 3 The word Don is often used to signify a knight. In the old editions previous to 1710 it is spelt dun; the reading here is Dunship.
* ↑ Meaning privately and without order. Thus Shakspeare, in Hamlet "We've done but greenly in hugger-mugger to inter him; poor Ophelia."
* ↑ This character has been applied to several church dignitaries: Williams, Bishop of Lincoln, afterward Archbishop of York, "the pepper-nosed Caitiff that snuffs, puffs, and nuffs ingratitude to Parliament—a jack-a-lent made of a leek and red herring;" Graham, Bishop of Orkney, who renounced his Bishoprick to join the Scotch covenanters; Adair, Bishop of Kilala, who was deprived of his Bishoprick for speaking in favour of the covenanters; and Herbert Croft, the excellent Bishop of Hereford; all of whom had seemed more or less to side with the Dissenters. But Nash points out a coincidence which fixes it on the last-named prelate. It appears that in 1675, three years before the publication of this part of the poem, a pamphlet came out, generally attributed to the Bishop of Hereford, called. The naked Truth, or State of the Primitive Church, a title which gives a striking air of probability to the supposition. In this piece the distinction of the three orders of the Church is flatly denied, and endeavoured to be disproved: the surplice, bowing towards the altar, kneeling at the sacrament, and other ceremonies of the Church, are condemned; while most of the pleas for nonconformists are speciously and zealously supported. This pamphlet made a great noise at the time.
* ↑ Here seems a defect in coherency and syntax. The Knight means, that it was dishonourable in him to quit the siege, especially when reinforced by the arrival of the Squire.
* ↑ Querpo (from the Spanish cuerpo) signifies a close waistcoat, or jacket, without the customary cloak. Butler, in his MS. Common-place Book, says, all coats of arms were defensive, and worn upon shields; though the ancient use of them is now given over, and men light in querpo. To fight in querpo is synonymous to our old English phrase, to fight in buff. See Junii Etymologicon. The term is found in several of our early dramatists, e. g. "Boy, my cloak and rapier; it fits not a gentleman of my rank to walk the streets in querpo." Beaumont and Fletcher, Love's Cure, ii. 1. Your Spanish host is never seen in cuerpo Without his paramentos, cloke, and sword. Ben Jonson, New Inn, II. 5.
* ↑ See note to line 980 of the preceding Canto, page 366.
* ↑ Carroche properly signifies a coach, from the Italian carroccio; but in burlesque it is a cart, and here means that in which criminals were carried to execution. At that time a coach invariably had four wheels, and a charette, which preceded it, only two. Riding the wooden-horse was a punishment inflicted on soldiers.
* ↑ Erased, in Heraldry, means a member torn or separated from the body, so that it looks jagged like the teeth of a saw; couped signifies, on the contrary, cut off clean and smooth. The Knight had incurred the guilt of perjury.
* ↑ The parallel to these lines is contained in the famous couplet"—"He that fights and runs away, May live to fight another day," which is so commonly, but falsely, attributed to Butler, that many bets have been lost upon it. The sentiment appears to be as old as Demosthenes, who, being reproached for running away from Philip of Macedon, at the battle of Chæronea, replied, Άνὴρ ὁ φεύγων καὶ παλιν μάχήσεται. This saying of Demosthenes is mentioned by Jeremy Taylor, who says, "In other cases it is true that Demosthenes said in apology for his own escaping from a lost field—A man that runs away may fight again."—Great Examples, 1649. The same idea is found in Scarron, who died in 1660:Qui fuit, peut revenir aussi; Qui meurt, il n'en est pas ainsi. It is also found in the Satyre Menippée, published in 1594:Souvent eeluy qui demeure Est cause de son meschef: Celuy qui fuit de bonne heure Peut combattre derechef. Thus rendered in an English version, published in 1595:Oft he that doth abide Is cause of his own pain; But he that flieth in good tide Perhaps may fight again. In the Latin Apothegms compiled by Erasmus, and translated into English by Nicholas Udall, in 1542, occur the following lines, which are obviously a metrical version of the saying of Demosthenes:That same man that renneth awaie, Maie again fight, an other daie. The Italians are supposed to have borrowed their proverb from the same source: E meglio che si dici qui fuggi che qui mori, Better it be said here he ran away than here he died. But our familiar couplet was no doubt derived from the following lines, which were written by Sir John Mennis, in conjunction with James Smith, in the Musarum Deliciæ, a collection of miscellaneous poems, published in 1656, and reprinted in Wit's Recreations, 2 vols. 12mo, Lond. 1817:He that is in battle slain, Can never rise to fight again; But he that fights and runs away, May live to fight another day.
* ↑ Some editions read: 'Tis held the gallant'st———
* ↑ This was the corona civica, or civic crown, which was granted to any soldier who had saved the life of a Roman citizen by slaying an enemy. Though formed of no better materials than oak twigs, it was esteemed more honourable than any other decoration.
* ↑ The early editions have "their loss."
* ↑ The gazettes did not come into vogue until Charles the Second's time. The newspapers during the civil war and the commonwealth were called Mercuries and Diurnals.
* ↑ "In their sermons," says Burnet, "and chiefly in their prayers, all that passed in the state was canvassed. Men were as good as named, and either recommended or complained of to God, as they were odious or acceptable to them. At length this humour grew so petulant, that the pulpit was a scene of news and passion."
* ↑ This was the customary psalm of victory, but the Puritans did not approve of it, as being of papistical origin.
* ↑ It has been an ancient and very frequent practice for the vanquished party in war to boast of victory, and even to ordain solemn thanksgivings, as means of keeping up the spirits of the people. The Parliament were said often to have had recourse to this artifice, and in the course of the war had thirty-five thanksgiving days. In the first notable encounter, at Wickfield near Worcester, September 23, 1042, their forces received a total defeat. Whitelock says, they were all killed or routed, and only one man lost on the king's side. Yet the Parliamentarians spread about printed papers, bragging of it as a complete victory, and ordained a special thanksgiving in London. This they did after the battle of Keynton, and the second fight at Newbury; but particularly after Sir William Waller received that great defeat at Roundway-down, when they kept a thanksgiving at Gloucester, and made rejoicings for a signal victory, which they pretended he had gained for them. This was no new practice. See Polyæni Stratagem, lib. i. cap. 35 and 44.—Stratocles persuaded the Athenians to offer a sacrifice to the gods, by way of thanks, on account of their having defeated their enemies, although he knew that the Athenian fleet had been defeated. When the truth was known, and the people became exasperated, his reply was, "What injury have I done you? it is owing to me that you have spent three days in joy."—Catherine de Medicis used to say, that a false report, if believed for three days, might save a state. Napoleon understood these tactics thoroughly. See many stories of the same kind in the "General Dictionary," vol. x. p. 337.
* ↑ An old philosopher, at a drinking match, insisted that he had won the prize because he was first drunk.
* ↑ In Germany it is still called Branntwein. Aqua vitæ was formerly used in this country as a medicine only.
* ↑ The first is an excellent kind of Rhenish wine, called Bacharach, from a town of that name in the lower Palatinate, said to be derived from Bacchi ara, the altar of Bacchus. Hoccamore means Hochheimer, the Rhenish wine which first became familiarly known in this country, whence all the others obtained, though improperly, the name of Hock. Mum is a rich, strong beer, made in Brunswick, and called Braunschweiger Mumme. It had great reputation everywhere, and is said to have been introduced into this country by General Monk. The invention of it is attributed by some to Christopher Mumme, in 1489, but it seems not unlikely to have derived its name from its being a delicious beer used on feast-days and holidays, or Mummen, the old German word for revels, whence our term mummeries. A receipt for making it is preserved in the Harleian Miscellany, vol. i. p. 524. This signification of Mum seems to have nothing in common with that indicating silence, explained in a previous note.
* ↑ That is, though they run away, or their ships are fired. See v. 308. This may refer to the repulse of Popham at Kinsale, which he had expected to take by bribing the royalist commander, who having received the bribe, nevertheless resisted, and with success, the attack of the Parliament's fleet and army.
* ↑ The mob, like the sultan or grand seignior, seldom fail to strangle any of their commanders, called Bassas, if they prove unsuccessful; thus Waller was neglected after the battle of Roundway-down, called by the wits Runaway-down.
* ↑ Butler's unpublished Common-place Book has the following lines on "The modern way of war."For fighting now is out of mode, And stratagem's the only road; Unless in th' out-of-fashion wars, Of barb'rous Turks and Polanders. All feats of arms are now reduc'd To chousing, or to being chous'd; They fight not now to overthrow, But gull, or circumvent a foe. And watch all small advantages As if they fought a game at chess;. And he's approv'd the most deserving Who longest can hold out at starving. Who makes best fricasees of cats, Of frogs and ———, and mice and rats; Pottage of vermin, and ragoos Of trunks and boxes, and old shoes. And those who, like th' immortal gods, Do never eat, have still the odds.
* ↑ Later editions read, the others' stomachs.
* ↑ Alluding to Homer's Batrachomyomachia, or Battle of the Frogs and Mice.
* ↑ Meaning the Dutch, who were allies of the Parliamentarians.
* ↑ An ordinance was passed March 26, 1644, for the contribution of one meal a week toward the charge of the army.
* ↑ A sneer, perhaps, on Venables and Pen, who were unfortunate in their expedition against the Spaniards at St Domingo, in the year 1615. It is observed of them, that they exercised their valour only on horses, asses, and such like, making a slaughter of all they met, greedily devouring skins, entrails, and all, to satiate their hunger. See Harleian Miscellany, vol. iii. No. xii. p. 494, 498.
* ↑ Caligula, having ranged his army on the sea-shore, and disposed his instruments of war in the order of battle, on a sudden ordered his men to gather up the shells on the strand, and fill their helmets and bosoms with them, calling them the spoils of the ocean, as if by that proceeding he had made a conquest of the British sea. Suetonius, Life of Caligula.
* ↑ Sir Arthur Hazelrig had a regiment nicknamed his lobsters; and it has been thought by some, that the defeat at Roundway-down was owing to the ill-behaviour of this regiment. Cleveland, in his character of a London diurnal, says of it: "This is the William which is the city's champion, and the diurnal's delight. Yet, in all this triumph, translate the scene but at Roundway-down, Hazelrig's lobsters were turned into crabs, and crawled backwards."
* ↑ Rinaldo is hero of the last book of Tasso; but he did not win his Armida thus; perhaps the poet, quoting by memory, intended to mention Ruggiero in Ariosto. See also Midsummer Night's Dream.
* ↑ Ralpho, no doubt, was ready to witness anything that would serve his turn; and hoped the widow's two attendants would do the same.
* ↑ The breaking of a piece of gold between lovers was formerly much practised, and looked upon as a firm marriage contract.
* ↑ Ralpho persuades the Knight to gain the widow, at least her fortune, not by the use of fire-arms, but by the feathered quill of the lawyer.
* ↑ That, is, the law will recover a lady though she be as false as the most perfidious lover.
* ↑ Meaning to levy an extent upon the lady: seize her for your use in satisfaction of the debt.
* ↑ Take part on one side or the other. Whereas we who have a common interest, a common cause, a common party against the Royalists and Episcopalians, weaken our strength by internal divisions among ourselves
* ↑ The wisdom of lawyers is such, that however they may seem to quarrel at the bar, they are good friends the moment they leave the court. Unlike us, Independents and Presbyterians, who, though our opinions are very similar, are always wrangling about the merest trifles.
* ↑ The Swiss mercenaries, as they are commonly called, if well paid, will enter into the service of any foreign power: but, according to the adage, "point d'argent, point de Suisse."
* ↑ The followers of Galen advocated the use of herbs and roots; the disciples of Paracelsus recommended mineral preparations, especially mercury.
* ↑ When lawyers quarrel, they do not suffer the public to know it; for, whichever disputant might gain the advantage, the whole profession would suffer by the exposures made in the brawl.
* ↑ The accent is here laid on the last syllable of bigot.
* ↑ Var. cried them down in 1700 and subsequent editions.
* ↑ Meaning that the plagiary conceals his robbery with the dexterity of a pickpocket.
* ↑ In Butler's MS. under these lines are many severe strictures on lawyers:More nice and subtle than those wire-drawers Of equity and justice, common lawyers; Who never end, but always prune a suit To make it bear the greater store of fruit. As labouring men their hands, criers their lungs, Porters their backs, lawyers hire out their tongues. A tongue to mire and gain accustom'd long, Grows quite insensible to right or wrong. The humourist that would have had a trial, With one that did but look upon his dial, And sued him but for telling of his clock, And saying, 'twas too fast, or slow it struck.
* ↑ An answer to a bill in chancery is always upon oath;—a petition not so.
* ↑ Probably the poet had his eye on some particular person here. The old annotator says it was Edmund Prideaux; but the respectable and wealthy Attorney-General of that name cannot have been meant. The portrait must have been taken from some one of a much lower class. A pettifogging lawyer named Siderfin is said with more probability to have been intended.
* ↑ The puisné judge was formerly called the Tell-clock; as supposed to be not much employed, but listening how the time went.
* ↑ Cant words used by jugglers, corrupted perhaps from hic est inter doctos. See note on hocus pocus, at line 716.
* ↑ Butler served some years as clerk to a justice. The person who employed him was an able magistrate, and respectable character: but in that situation he might have had an opportunity of making himself acquainted with the practice of trading justices.
* ↑ There was a gaol at this place for petty offenders.
* ↑ Did not levy the penalty for a nuisance, but compounded with the offender by accepting a bribe.
* ↑ That is, took a bribe to save them from the pillory. Bakers were liable to have their ears cropped for light weights.
* ↑ For selling ale or wine without licence, or by less than the statutable measure, or spurious mixtures. So Butler says of his Justice, Remains, vol. ii. p. 191. "He does his country signal service in the judicious and mature legitimation of tippling-houses; that the subject be not imposed upon with illegal and arbitrary ale."
* ↑ That is, he was very severe to hawkers and interlopers, who interfered with the regular trade of roguery, but favoured the offences of those who kept houses, took out licences, and paid rates and taxes. The passage is thus amplified in prose, in Butler's Character of a Justice of the Peace. "He uses great care and moderation in punishing those that offend regularly by their calling, as residentiary bawds, and incumbent pimps, that pay parish duties, shopkeepers that use constant false weights and measures, these he rather prunes, that they may grow the better, than disables; but is very severe to hawkers and interlopers, that commit iniquity on the bye."
* ↑ The second syllable must be slurred in reading. For a note on Marry-come-up see page 93.
* ↑ An action of trover is an action brought for recovery of goods wrongfully detained.
* ↑ Swear that a crime was committed by him against the public peace, or peace of the state.
* ↑ Meaning an action of Battery. See Measure for Measure, Act ii. sc. 1, and Twelfth Night, Act iv. sc. 1.
* ↑ This proverbial saying has already been quoted at page 166. We will only add here that it is quoted by several of the old poets, as also by Shakspeare, Merch. of Ven. Act ii. se. 9, and Ben Jonson, Barthol. Fair, Act iv. sc. 3.
* ↑ Meaning a mere toss up, see page 292.
* ↑ Maintenance is the unlawful upholding of a cause or person.
* ↑ Barratry is the unlawful stirring up of suits or quarrels, either in court or elsewhere.
* ↑ Summer-sault (or somerset), throwing heels over head, a feat of activity performed by tumblers. When a lawyer has been guilty of misconduct, and is not allowed to practise in the courts, he is said to be thrown over the bar.
* ↑ Fictitious names, sometimes used in stating cases, issuing writs, &c.
* ↑ In all probability a corruption of hoc est corpus, by way of ridiculous imitation of the priests of the Church of Rome, in their trick of transubstantiation.—Tillotson. But Nares thinks that the origin of the term may be derived from the Italian jugglers, who called that craft Ochus Bochus, after a magician of that name. Hocus, to cheat, comes from this phrase; and Malone suggests that the modern word hoax has the same origin.
* ↑ Later editions read: The bus'ness to the law's all one.
* ↑ Taylor, the Water Poet, says, "that some do make a trade of swearing; as a fellow being once asked of what occupation he was, made answer, that he was a vitness, meaning one that for hire would swear in any man's cause, right or wrong.
* ↑ Tales, or Tales de circumstantibus, are persons of like rank and quality with such of the principal pannel as are challenged, but do not appear; and who, happening to be in court, are taken to supply their places as jurymen.
* ↑ Downing and Stephen Marshall, who absolved from their oaths the prisoners released at Brentford. See note at pages 82 and 177, 178.
* ↑ On Sidrophel the reputed conjurer. The poet nicknames him Bongey, from a Franciscan friar of that name, who lived in Oxford about the end of the thirteenth century, and was by some classed with Roger Bacon, and therefore deemed a conjurer by the common people. "A water-witch" means probably one to be tried by the water-ordeal.
* ↑ Subtleties. Shakspeare frequently used the word quillet, which is probably a contraction from quibblet. See Wright's Glossary.
* ↑ Witnesses who are ready to swear anything, true or false. See note at page 28.
* ↑ These witnesses frequently plied for custom about the Temple-church, where are several monumental effigies of knights templars, who, according to custom, are represented cross-legged. Their hosts means that nobody gave them any better entertainment than these knights, and therefore that they were almost starved.
* ↑ The crypt beneath the chapel of Lincoln's Inn, was another place where these knights of the post plied for custom.
* ↑ Lord Clarendon, in his History of the Rebellion, vol. ii. p. 355, tells us that an Irishman of low condition and meanly clothed, being brought as evidence against Lord Strafford, lieutenant of Ireland, Mr Pym gave him money to buy a satin suit and cloak, in which equipage he appeared at the trial. The like was practised in the trial of Lord Stafford for the popish plot. See Carte's History of the Life of James Duke of Ormonde, vol. ii. p. 517.
* ↑ When a witness swears he holds the Gospel in his right hand, and kisses it: the Gospel therefore is called his tool, by which he damns his other tool, namely, his soul.