# Rudder Grange/Chapter 12

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CHAPTER XII
LORD EDWARD AND THE TREE-MAN
It was winter at Rudder Grange. The season was the same at other places, but that fact did not particularly interest Euphemia and myself. It was winter with us, and we were ready for it. That was the great point, and it made us proud to think that we had not been taken unawares, notwithstanding the many things that were to be thought of on a little farm like ours.
It is true that we had always been prepared for winter, wherever we had lived; but this was a different case. In other days it did not matter much whether we were ready or not; but now our house, our cow, our poultry, and, indeed, ourselves might have suffered—there is no way of finding out exactly how much—if we had not made all possible preparations for the coming of cold weather.
But there was yet a great deal to be thought of and planned out, although we were ready for winter. The next thing to think of was spring.
We laid out the farm. We decided where we would have wheat, corn, potatoes and oats. We would have a man by the day to sow and reap. The intermediate processes I thought I could attend to myself.
Everything was talked over, ciphered over, and freely discussed by my wife and myself, except one ​matter, which I planned and worked out alone, doing most of the necessary calculations at the office, so as not to excite Euphemia's curiosity.
I had determined to buy a horse. This would be one of the most important events of our married life, and it demanded a great deal of thought, which I gave it.
The horse was chosen for me by a friend. He was an excellent beast (the horse), excelling, as my friend told me, in muscle and wit. Nothing better than this could be said about a horse. He was a sorrel animal, quite handsome, gentle enough for Euphemia to drive, and not too high-minded to do a little farm work if necessary. He was exactly the animal I needed.
The carriage was not quite such a success. The horse having cost a good deal more than I expected to pay, I found that I could only afford a second-hand carriage. I bought a good, serviceable vehicle, which would hold four persons if necessary, and there was room enough to pack all sorts of parcels and baskets. It was with great satisfaction that I contemplated this feature of the carriage, which was a rather rusty-looking affair, although sound and strong enough. The harness was new, and set off the horse admirably.
On the afternoon when my purchases were completed, I did not come home by the train. I drove home in my own carriage, drawn by my own horse! The ten miles' drive was over a smooth road, and the sorrel travelled splendidly. If I had been a line of kings a mile long, all in their chariots of state, with gold and silver, and outriders, and music, and banners waving in the wind, I could not have been prouder than when I drew up in front of my house.
​There was a waggon-gate at one side of the front fence which had never been used except by the man who brought coal, and I got out and opened this, very quietly, so as not to attract the attention of Euphemia. It was earlier than I usually returned, and she would not be expecting me. I was then about to lead the horse up a somewhat grass-grown carriage-way to the front door, but I reflected that Euphemia might be looking out of some of the windows and I had better drive up. So I got in and drove very slowly to the door.
However, she heard the unaccustomed noise of wheels, and looked out of the parlour window. She did not see me, but immediately came around to the door. I hurried out of the carriage so quickly that, not being familiar with the steps, I barely escaped tripping.
When she opened the front door she was surprised to see me standing by the horse.
"Have you hired a carriage?" she cried. "Are we going to ride?"
"My dear," said I, as I took her by the hand, "we are going to ride. But I have not hired a carriage. I have bought one. Do you see this horse? He is ours—our own horse!"
If you could have seen the face that was turned up to me—all you other men in the world—you would have torn your hair in despair.
Afterward she went around and around that horse; she patted his smooth sides; she looked with admiration at his strong, well-formed legs; she stroked his head; she smoothed his mane; she was brimful of joy.
When I had brought the horse some water in a bucket—and what a pleasure it was to water one's ​own horse!—Euphemia rushed into the house and got her hat and cloak, and we took a little drive.
I doubt if any horse ever drew two happier people. Euphemia said but little about the carriage. That was a necessary adjunct, and it was good enough for the present. But the horse! How nobly and with what vigour he pulled us up the hills, and how carefully and strongly he held the carriage back as we went down! How easily he trotted over the level road, caring nothing for the ten miles he had gone that afternoon! What a sensation of power it gave us to think that all that strength and speed and endurance was ours, that it would go where we wished, that it would wait for us as long as we chose, that it was at our service day and night, that it was a horse, and we owned it!
When we returned, Pomona saw us drive in—she had not known of our ride—and when she heard the news she was as wild with proud delight as anybody. She wanted to unharness him, but this I could not allow. We did not wish to be selfish, but after she had seen and heard what we thought was enough for her, we were obliged to send her back to the kitchen for the sake of the dinner.
Then we unharnessed him. I say we, for Euphemia stood by, and I explained everything, for some day, she said, she might want to do it herself. Then I led him into the stable. How nobly he trod! and how finely his hoofs sounded on the stable floor!
There was hay in the mow, and I had brought a bag of oats under the seat of the carriage.
"Isn't it just delightful," said Euphemia, "that we haven't any man? If we had a man, he would take the horse at the door, and we should be deprived of all this. It wouldn't be half like owning a horse."
​In the morning I drove down to the station, Euphemia by my side. She drove back, and old John came up and attended to the horse. This he was to do, for the present, for a small stipend. In the afternoon Euphemia came down after me. How I enjoyed those rides! Before this I had thought it ever so much more pleasant and healthful to walk to and from the station than to ride, but then I did not own a horse. At night I attended to everything, Euphemia generally following me about the stable with a lantern. When the days grew longer we would have delightful rides after dinner, and even now we planned to have early breakfasts, and go to the station by the longest possible way.
One day in the following spring, I was riding home from the station with Euphemia—we seldom took pleasure-drives now, we were so busy on the place—and as we reached the house I heard the dog barking savagely. He was loose in the little orchard by the side of the house. As I drove in, Pomona came running to the carriage.
"Man up the tree!" she shouted.
I helped Euphemia out, left the horse standing by the door, and ran to the dog, followed by my wife and Pomona. Sure enough, there was a man up the tree, and Lord Edward was doing his best to get at him, springing wildly at the tree and fairly shaking with rage. I looked up at the man. He was a thoroughbred tramp, burly, dirty, generally unkempt; but, unlike most tramps, he looked very much frightened. His position on a high crotch of an apple-tree was not altogether comfortable, and although, for the present, it was safe, the fellow seemed to have a wavering faith in the strength of apple-tree branches, and the moment he saw me he ​earnestly besought me to take that dog away and let him down.
I made no answer, but, turning to Pomona, I asked her what this all meant.
"Why, sir, you see," said she, "I was in the kitchen bakin' pies, and this fellow must have got over the fence at the side of the house, for the dog didn't see him, and the first thing I know'd he was stickin' his head in the window, and he asked me to give him somethin' to eat. And when I said I'd see in a minute if there was anything for him, he says to me: 'Gimme a piece of one of them pies'—pies I'd just baked and was settin' to cool on the kitchen table! 'No, sir,' says I, 'I'm not goin' to cut one of them pies for you, or anyone like you.' 'All right!' says he. 'I'll come in and help myself.' He must have known there was no man about, and, comin' the way he did, he hadn't seen the dog. So he came round to the kitchen door, but I shot out before he got there and unchained Lord Edward. I guess he saw the dog when he got to the door, and at any rate he heard the chain clankin', and he didn't go in, but just put for the gate. But Lord Edward was after him so quick that he hadn't no time to go to no gates. It was all he could do to scoot up this tree, and if he'd been a millionth part of a minute later he'd 'a' been in another world by this time."
The man, who had not attempted to interrupt Pomona's speech, now began again to implore me to let him down, while Euphemia looked pitifully at him, and was about, I think, to intercede with me in his favour, but my attention was drawn off from her by the strange conduct of the dog. Believing, I suppose, that he might leave the tramp for a moment, now that I had arrived, he had dashed away to ​another tree, where he was barking furiously, standing on his hind legs, and clawing at the trunk!
"What's the matter over there?" I asked.
"Oh, that's the other fellow," said Pomona. "He's no harm." And then, as the tramp made a movement as if he would try to come down and make a rush for safety during the absence of the dog, she called out: "Here, boy! here, boy!" and in an instant Lord Edward was again raging at his post at the foot of the apple-tree, followed, as before, by Euphemia and Pomona.
"This one," said the latter, "is a tree man—"
"I should think so," said I, as I caught sight of a person in grey trousers standing among the branches of a cherry-tree not very far from the kitchen door. The tree was not a large one, and the branches were not strong enough to allow him to sit down on them, although they supported him well enough, as he stood close to the trunk just out of reach of Lord Edward.
"This is a very unpleasant position, sir," said he, when I reached the tree. "I simply came into your yard, on a matter of business, and finding that raging beast attacking a person in a tree, I had barely time to get up into this tree myself before he dashed at me. Luckily I was out of his reach; but I very much fear I have lost some of my property."
"No, he hasn't," said Pomona. "It was a big book he dropped. I picked it up and took it into the house. It's full of pictures of pears and peaches and flowers. I've been lookin' at it. That's how I knew what he was. And there was no call for his gettin' up a tree. Lord Edward never would have gone after him if he hadn't run as if he had guilt on his soul."
"I suppose, then," said I, addressing the ​individual in the cherry-tree, "that you came here to sell me some trees."
"Yes, sir," said he quickly. "Trees, shrubs, vines, evergreens—everything suitable for a gentleman's country villa. I can sell you something quite remarkable, sir, in the way of cherry-trees—French ones, just imported; bear fruit three times the size of anything that could be produced on a tree like this. And pears—fruit of the finest flavour and enormous size—"
"Yes," said Pomona. "I seen them in the book. But they must grow on a ground-vine. No tree couldn't hold such pears as them."
Here Euphemia reproved Pomona's forwardness, and I invited the tree agent to get down out of the tree.
"Thank you," said he; "but not while that dog is loose. If you will kindly chain him up, I will get my book and show you specimens of some of the finest small fruits in the world, all imported from the first nurseries of Europe—the Redgold Amber Muscat grape—the—"
"Oh, please let him down!" said Euphemia, her eyes beginning to sparkle.
I slowly walked towards the tramp-tree, revolving various matters in my mind. We had not spent much money on the place during the winter, and we now had a small sum which we intended to use for the advantage of the farm, but had not yet decided what to do with it. It behoved me to be careful.
I told Pomona to run and get me the dog-chain, and I stood under the tree, listening as well as I could to the tree agent talking to Euphemia, and paying no attention to the impassioned entreaties of the tramp in the crotch above me. When the chain was ​brought, I hooked one end of it in Lord Edward's collar, and then I took a firm grasp of the other. Telling Pomona to bring the tree agent's book from the house, I called to that individual to get down from his tree. He promptly obeyed, and taking the book from Pomona, began to show the pictures to Euphemia.
"You had better hurry, sir," I called out. "I can't hold this dog very long." And, indeed, Lord Edward had made a run toward the agent which jerked me very forcibly in his direction. But a movement by the tramp had quickly brought the dog back to his more-desired victim.
"If you will just tie up that dog, sir," said the agent, "and come this way, I would like to show you the Meltinagua pear—dissolves in the mouth like snow, sir; trees will bear next year."
"Oh, come, look at the Royal Sparkling Ruby grape!" cried Euphemia. "It glows in the sun like a gem!"
"Yes," said the agent, "and fills the air with fragrance during the whole month of September—"
"I tell you," I shouted, "I can't hold this dog another minute! The chain is cutting the skin off my hands. Run, sir, run! I'm going to let go!"
"Run! run!" cried Pomona. "Fly for your life!"
The agent now began to be frightened, and shut up his book.
"If you only could see the plates, sir, I'm sure—"
"Are you ready?" I cried, as the dog, excited by Pomona's wild shouts, made a bolt in his direction.
"Good-day, if I must—" said the agent, as he hurried to the gate; but there he stopped. "There is nothing, sir," he said, " that would so improve your place as a row of the Spitzenberg ​Sweet-scented Balsam fir along this fence. I'll sell you three-year-old trees—"
"He's loose!" I shouted, as I dropped the chain.
In a second the agent was on the other side of the gate. Lord Edward made a dash towards him; but, stopping suddenly, flew back to the tree of the tramp.
"If you should conclude, sir," said the tree agent, looking over the fence, "to have a row of those firs along here—"
"My good sir," said I, "there is no row of firs there now, and the fence is not very high. My dog, as you see, is very much excited, and I cannot answer for the consequences if he takes it into his head to jump over."
The tree agent turned and walked slowly away.
"Now, look-a-here," cried the tramp from the tree, in the voice of a very ill-used person, "ain't you goin' to fasten up that dog and let me get down?"
I walked up close to the tree and addressed him.
"No," said I, "I am not. When a man comes to my place, bullies a young girl who was about to relieve his hunger, and then boldly determines to enter my house and help himself to my property, I don't propose to fasten up any dog that may happen to be after him. If I had another dog, I'd let him loose and give this faithful beast a rest. You can do as you please. You can come down and have it out with the dog, or you can stay up there until I have had my dinner. Then I will drive down to the village and bring up the constable, and deliver you into his hands. We want no such fellows as you about."
With that, I unhooked the chain from Lord Edward and walked off to put up the horse. The man shouted after me, but I paid no attention. I did not feel in a good humour with him.
​Euphemia was much disturbed by the various occurrences of the afternoon. She was sorry for the man in the tree; she was sorry that the agent for the Royal Ruby grape had been obliged to go away; and I had a good deal of trouble during dinner to make her see things in the proper light. But I succeeded at last.
I did not hurry through dinner, and when we had finished I went to my work at the barn. Tramps are not generally pressed for time, and Pomona had been told to give our captive something to eat.
I was just locking the door of the carriage house, when Pomona came running to me to tell me that the tramp wanted to see me about something very important—just a minute, he said. I put the key in my pocket and walked over to the tree. It was now almost dark, but I could see that the dog, the tramp, and the tree still kept their respective places.
"Look-a-here," said the individual in the crotch, "you don't know how dreadful oneasy these limbs gits after you've been settin' up here as long as I have. And I don't want to have nuthin' to do with no constables. I'll tell you what I'll do: if you'll chain up that dog and let me go, I'll fix things so that you'll not be troubled no more by no tramps."
"How will you do that?" I asked.
"Oh, never you mind," said he. "I'll give you my word of honour I'll do it. There's a reg'lar understandin' among us fellers, you know."
I considered the matter. The word of honour of a fellow such as he was could not be worth much, but the merest chance of getting rid of tramps should not be neglected. I went in to talk to Euphemia about it, although I knew what she would say. I reasoned with myself as much as with her.
​"If we put this one fellow in prison for a few weeks," I said, "the benefit is not very great. If we are freed from all tramps for the season, the benefit is very great. Shall we try for the greatest good?"
"Certainly," said Euphemia; "and his legs must be dreadfully stiff."
So I went out, and after a struggle of some minutes, I chained Lord Edward to a post at a little distance from the apple-tree. When he was secure, the tramp descended nimbly from his perch, notwithstanding his stiff legs, and hurried out of the gate. He stopped to make no remarks over the fence. With a wild howl of disappointed ambition, Lord Edward threw himself after him. But the chain held.
A lane of moderate length led from our house to the main road, and the next day, as we were riding home, I noticed on the trunk of a large tree, which stood at the corner of the lane and road, a curious mark. I drew up to see what it was, but we could not make it out. It was a very rude device, cut deeply into the tree, and somewhat resembled a square, a circle, a triangle, and a cross, with some smaller marks beneath it. I felt sure that our tramp had cut it, and that it had some significance, which would be understood by the members of his fraternity.
And it must have had, for no tramps came near us all that summer. We were visited by a needy person now and then, but by no member of the regular army of tramps.
One afternoon, that fall, I walked home, and at the corner of the lane I saw a tramp looking up at the mark on the tree, which was still quite distinct.
​"What does that mean?" I said, stepping up to him.
"How do I know? " said the man, "and what do you want to know fur?"
"Just out of curiosity," I said; "I have often noticed it. I think you can tell me what it means, and if you will do so, I'll give you a dollar."
"And keep mum about it?" said the man.
"Yes," I replied, taking out the dollar.
"All right!" said the tramp. "That sign means that the man that lives up this lane is a mean, stingy cuss, with a wicked dog, and it's no good to go there."
I handed him the dollar, and went away perfectly satisfied with my reputation.
I wish here to make some mention of Euphemia's methods of work in her chicken-yard. She kept a book, which she at first called her "Fowl Record," but she afterwards changed the name to "Poultry Register," I never could thoroughly understand this book, although she has often explained every part of it to me. She had pages for registering the age, description, time of purchase or of birth, and subsequent performances of every fowl in her yard. She had divisions of the book for expenses, profits, probable losses, and positive losses; she noted the number of eggs put under each setting hen; the number of eggs cracked per day, the number spoiled, and finally, the number hatched. Each chick, on emerging from its shell, was registered, and an account kept of its subsequent life and adventures. There were frequent calculations regarding the advantages of various methods of treatment, and there were statements of the results of a great many experiments—something like this: "Set Toppy and her sister Pinky, ​2nd April, 187-; Toppy with twelve eggs—three Brahma, four common, and five Leghorn; Pinky with thirteen eggs (as she weighs four ounces more than her sister), of which three were Leghorn, five common, and five Brahma. During the twenty-second and twenty-third of April (same year) Toppy hatched out four Brahmas, two commons, and three Leghorns, while her sister, on these days and the morning of the day following, hatched two Leghorns, six commons, and only one Brahma. Now, could Toppy, who had only three Brahma eggs, and hatched out four of that breed, have exchanged eggs with her sister, thus making it possible for her to hatch out six common chickens, when she only had five eggs of that kind? Or, did the eggs get mixed up in some way before going into the possession of the hens. Look into probabilities."
These probabilities must have puzzled Euphemia a great deal, but they never disturbed her equanimity. She was always as tranquil and good-humoured about her poultry-yard as if every hen laid an egg every day, and a hen-chick was hatched out of every egg.
For it may be remembered that the principle underlying Euphemia's management of her poultry was what might be designated as the "cumulative hatch." That is, she wished every chicken hatched in her yard to become the mother of a brood of her own during the year, and every one of this brood to raise another brood the next year, and so on, in a kind of geometrical progression. This plan called for a great many mother-fowls, and so Euphemia based her highest hopes on a great annual preponderance of hens.
We ate a good many young roosters that fall, for ​Euphemia would not allow all the products of her yard to go to market, and also a great many eggs and fowls were sold. She had not contented herself with her original stock of poultry but had bought fowls during the winter, and she certainly had extraordinary good luck, or else her extraordinary system worked extraordinarily well.