# Advice to Young Ladies/Chapter 13

Chapter XIII.
Equality of the Sexes.
Singularly enough, we have in this day a class of intellectual ladies, who boldly contend for the absolute equality of the sexes, and who write books for the purpose of proving this doctrine, and spreading it throughout society. As far as we are able to understand what they do believe, we infer that they hold the only radical difference that exists between a man and a woman to be the difference of physical conformation—the social difference that is seen every where, arising from man’s superior physical power, by which he is able to keep woman in subjection. They claim for woman equal civil and political privileges with man, and see nothing but tyranny in the law, or usage that has the force of law, which keeps a woman out ​of her country’s legislative halls. Every where would these reformers place women in contest with men for the honors and emoluments which society bestows upon the successful;—in the camp, on the bench, at the bar, in the pulpit, in the dissecting-room, or hospital, with the operator’s knife in her hand,—in fact, wherever strong nerve, powerful intellect, decision, and firmness are required.
Some of the books written by advocates of these doctrines contain views of a most pernicious character, striking still more deeply at the very foundations of social well-being. As might be supposed, few of their writers understand or teach what is true in regard to marriage. And this is no matter of wonder; for how can any one, who is not able to see the true difference between the sexes, teach what is true in regard to their union?
In order to guard our young friends against the false reasonings, and equally false conclusions, of these advocates of the equality of the sexes, we will, in as plain and comprehensive a way as possible, set forth what is the true relation of one sex to the other; and in doing this we must explain the radical difference. As to equality in itself, this, no doubt, exists; but it is in the equal right of both to be useful and happy ​in the particular spheres for which God created them. The main point of equality which is contended for, and upon which all the rest is made to depend, is intellectual equality; and here the great error is committed, and it is committed by “intellectual” or “masculine” women, who hold the same false relation to their sex, that “effeminate” men hold to theirs. It is a little curious that the first use made, by these intellectual women, of their great mental powers, is to lead their followers into a most dangerous error!
That there does exist as great a difference between the mental as between the physical structure of the sexes, is clear, from common perception, to almost every one. That it must be so, will be seen from this: Every physical form that we see in nature is the outbirth of some spiritual and invisible cause; and the peculiarity of its form and quality depends solely upon the peculiarity of its cause. The cause that produces a rose is different from that which produces a lily, and ever remains different. The cause that produces a lion is different from that which produces a lamb. It is not circumstances, the peculiarity of education, nor any other external thing, that makes this difference, for it is radical. And as this is true in the broader, so ​is it true in all the minuter, shades of difference that exist in the world of nature. If there be any difference in form, there is a corresponding difference, be it ever so minute, in the producing cause. Keeping this in view, it may readily be seen, that what makes man a man, and woman a woman, is not the body, but the mind; and, as the body is formed from, by, or through the mind as a cause, the mind of a man must be different from the mind of a woman, because he has a different external conformation. This difference is not a slight one; it is a difference that pervades every part of the body.
The question now comes—“In what does this difference specifically consist?” Before attempting to answer this fully, let it be remarked, that this difference is a uniting difference, not a separating one; and that inherent in the two sexes is an instinct that tends to a union of one with the other. This union, let it be further stated, is necessary to the formation of a perfect being: until it does take place, both the man and the woman must be, in a certain sense, imperfect—he only a thinking man, and she only a loving man. But when it is effected, then both unite to form one truly perfect man, with thought and affection in their fullest power.
As clearly as it is possible for us to do it, will ​we now endeavor to show in what the difference of the sexes consists. The mind is composed of two faculties, Will and Understanding; the one the seat of affection, and the other of thought. The brain is that organ by which the mind acts, and is marked by two grand divisions, the cerebrum and the cerebellum. The cerebrum occupies the highest and anterior part of the skull, while the cerebellum, or little brain, as it is sometimes called, occupies the lower and posterior part of the skull. It is by means of the cerebellum that the will acts, and by means of the cerebrum that the understanding acts. By the will, affections are excited; and by the understanding, thoughts. The will feels, or loves; the understanding thinks. The understanding is the agent of the will, and bodies forth or gives forms to its peculiar affections. The will is man’s life or love, and the understanding is only the means by which the life or love of a man comes into activity, and thence into power.
By keeping this division in the mind, the difference between the sexes, when stated, will be clearly apparent. A man has will and understanding, and a cerebellum and cerebrum by which they act; and so has a woman. In this they are alike. But in man the understanding predominates, and in woman the will; and here ​they are different. If this be so, we may, of course, expect to find a larger development of the cerebrum, or upper brain, in man, and a larger development of the cerebellum, or lower brain, in woman; and this is so. A man’s head is higher, and fuller in front, than a woman’s; while a woman’s head is broader and larger behind than a man’s.
From this it will be seen that man has a will and an understanding; and so has a woman;—that both are thinking and loving beings, but that in one the understanding or intellect preponderates, and in the other the will or affections; and therefore to claim mental equality is absurd. A man is not equal to a woman, nor a woman equal to a man. As to the question of superiority, we leave that for others to decide; merely stating, however, that the will has reference to good, and the understanding to truth; the affections regarding quality or good, and the understanding being merely the discriminating power by which truth is perceived. Some think good higher than truth; and this is our own opinion. Good is, in fact, the essence, and truth the form, of a thing.
The true difference between the sexes is that which we have just stated. Now, let any sensible woman reflect upon the nature of this ​difference, and she will at once see that the claim of equality which is set up is altogether an erroneous one, and that the attempt to make woman equal in the way some contend that she should be, would be to do the greatest possible wrong, both to herself and society. That she has not the strong intellectual power that man possesses, no woman, but one blinded by her own pride and self-love, will for a moment attempt to maintain. There are men of weak intellect, and women of strong intellect; but take the whole mass of women and the whole mass of men, and every one can see that there is an immense preponderance of intellect in the one over the other. By intellect do not understand us to say mind: we are only speaking of a faculty of the mind by which man is peculiarly distinguished. Love, the sweeter, purer, stronger quality of mind, is woman’s.
In the beginning, God made man male and female. There is a deep significance in this peculiar language. It is said in the Bible, speaking of a man and his wife, that They twain shall be one flesh. And the common perception of mankind, brought down into common language, is, that “a man and his wife are one.” This is not a mere figure of speech, a beautiful ​idealism. It is the truth. A man and his wife, truly so, are one. Now, how can two things, precisely alike, become one? A man and a man are alike, and so are a woman and a woman; but they cannot become one. There needs to be a uniting difference; and this we have in the preponderance of intellect in man, and affection in woman; and their union, mystical and holy, is needed to make one truly perfect, effective man.
Of the nature of this mystical union we had thought of speaking here at some length; but the subject is rather difficult of comprehension, and hardly in place in a work like this.
It follows, from what has been said, that marriage is essential to human perfection. This we firmly believe; and we also believe that where marriage is opposed from principle, (it never is from any other than a selfish principle,) the mind becomes perverted from its true order, and the intellect weakened.
It may seem to some, that to say equality of the sexes is not the true mode of speaking, as a denial of this equality, leaves on the mind an idea of inferiority of one to the other. To some, the terms used will doubtless convey this meaning. The difficulty of choosing terms that express with perfect exactness what we desire to ​convey, is often very great, especially as to the same set of terms different persons attach peculiar, and sometimes very important, shades of difference. By equal, as used in this chapter, is meant being alike as to mental conformation and mental power—which is denied. As to which is highest or lowest, superior or inferior, that is another matter. Here we believe woman to be the equal of man; not born to obedience, but to be his intelligent and loving companion.
Let no young woman be deceived by the class of reformers, to which we made allusion in the commencement of this chapter. Some of them, stepping out of the sphere for which God and their own peculiar mental qualities designed them, are assuming the place of men as itinerant and public lecturers; and most of them speak almost with a species of scoffing of the holy state of wedlock. No good, in any case, has ever arisen, but much evil, from the promulgation of their pernicious doctrines. Man they are too much in the habit of representing as a selfish tyrant, and woman as his plaything or slave; and they are full of intemperate appeals to their sex to throw off the yoke that man has placed upon their necks. That there are men who are selfish tyrants, and make slaves of their wives, is not to be denied; but just as many ​women tyrannize over their husbands. These form the exceptions, not the rule; and to judge of all, by these exceptions, shows either a weak head or a bad heart.
As far as we have observed these social reformers, we find that the great evil complained of, the head and front of all the wrong they suffer, lies in the necessity there is for the female sex to attend to domestic duties, while man steps abroad into the world, and makes himself a name and a place therein. They complain that every avenue to wealth, place, and preferment, is blocked up by men, and that a woman is not permitted, by the absurd customs of society, to contend for honors and wealth, but must meekly withdraw into her little circle at home, and be content with her husband’s honor, or the portion of his wealth he may choose to dole out to her.
With this idea set steadily before their minds, at the same time that they are profoundly ignorant of what really makes the difference between man and woman, they see nothing but wrong and oppression in the usages of society, and charge upon man the authorship of what is only the legitimate result of a law impressed by the hand of God upon the human mind.
In thus speaking, it is not meant to deny that ​many evils exist in society, and that women do not suffer sorely from these evils. This, alas! we know too well. But that which is pointed out by the persons we allude to, as the cause, is not the true one.
There is something really so absurd and revolting in the idea of taking woman out of her present sphere, and her present high and holy uses in society, and placing her side by side with man in the world’s rough arena, and in contest with him for honor, and fame, and wealth, that we cannot seriously argue against it. We have deemed it sufficient to show that, in the very nature of things, such can never be the case.