# Preparation for death/XVI. OF THE MERCY OF GOD

CONSIDERATION XVI
Of the mercy of God
"Mercy rejoiceth against judgment." S. James ii. 13.
First Point.
Goodness is diffusive in its nature, that is to say, it inclines ever to communicate its goods to others. Now, God Who by nature is infinite goodness has a sovereign desire to communicate His happiness to us; and therefore it is not His nature to punish, but to show mercy to all. As Isaiah says, punishment is opposite to the inclination of Almighty God. " He shall be wroth .... that He may do His work, His strange work." (Isa. xxviii. 21.) And when the Lord chastises in this life, He chastises so that He may show mercy in the next. " Thou hast also been displeased; O turn Thee unto us again." (Ps. lx. I.) He appears to be angry, so that we may repent and detest our sins. " Thou hast showed Thy people heavy things: Thou hast given us a drink of deadly wine." (Ps. be. 3.) And if He sends us any punishment, He sends it because He loves us, and that we may be delivered from eternal punishment. " Thou hast given a token for such as fear Thee: that they may triumph because of the truth. Therefore were Thy beloved delivered." (Ps. lx. 4, 5.)
And how can the mercy be ever admired and praised enough which God shows towards sinners in waiting for them, in calling them, and in receiving them when they return? And, in the first place, Oh, how great is the patience which God exercises towards us in waiting for our repentance! My brother, when ​thou wast offending God, He could have caused thee to die, but He waited for thee, and instead of chastising thee, He conferred His benefits upon thee. He preserved thy life and provided for thee. He feigned not to see thy sins, so that thou mightest repent. "Thou overlookest the sins of men for the sake of repentance." (Wisd. xi. 24.) But how is it, Lord, that Thou Who canst not endure the sight of a single sin, yet remainest quiet when Thou beholdest so many?"
Thou beholdest that dishonest one, that revengeful one, that blasphemer, whose offences increase daily; but yet Thou punishest them not, and why so much patience? " Therefore will the Lord wait, that He may be gracious unto you." (Isa. xxx. 18.) God waits for the sinner, so that he may amend his ways, and thus He may pardon and save him.
S. Thomas observes, That all creatures fire, earth, air, water would punish the sinner by instinct, to avenge the wrongs done to the Creator, for "all creation, in its service to Thee, the Creator, turns against the impious." Yet God in His mercy withholds them. But, Lord, Thou dost wait for these wicked ones that they may repent, yet dost Thou not see that they are making use of Thy mercy to offend Thee more? " Thou hast increased the nation, O Lord, Thou hast increased the nation: Thou art glorified." (Isa. xxvi. 15.) And wherefore then so much patience? Because God willeth not the death of the sinner, but that he should be converted and live. " As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live." (Ezek. xxxiii. 11.) S. Augustine goes so far as to say, that if God were not God, " He would be unjust on account of the long-suffering that He shows towards shiners." To wait for that one who makes use of God's patience only to become more sinful, would appear unjust to the Divine honour. " We sin," the Saint goes on to say, "We sin, and are attached to it, and some make their peace with sin; they sleep in sin for months and for years; "We rejoice in sin," some even boast of their wickedness, " and art Thou appeased?"
It would seem as if we were striving with God we were provoking Him to punish us and He inviting us to pardon.
​Ah, my Lord, full well do I know, that at this very hour my place ought to be in hell, " Hell is my home." But because of Thy mercy I am not there, but in this place, even at Thy feet, and I can hear Thee telling me, that Thou dost wish to be loved by me. " Thou shalt love the Lord thy God." And Thou dost assure me of Thy pardon if only I repent of the offences which I have committed against Thee. Yes, my God, since Thou desirest to be loved even by me, who am a miserable rebel against Thy Majesty, I will love Thee with all my heart, and I will repent for having offended Thee, more than any other sin into which I may have fallen. Ah, enlighten me, O Infinite Goodness, and make me to know the wrong I have done Thee. No, I will no longer resist Thy calls. I will no more displease the God Who has loved me so much, and Who has pardoned me so many times, and with so much love. Ah, would that I had never offended Thee, O my Jesus! Pardon me, and grant, that from this day forward, I may love none other than Thee; that I may live for Thee alone, Thou who didst die for me. Grant that I may suffer for Thy love, since Thou hast suffered so much for mine. Thou hast loved me from eternity; grant that I may burn with Thy love in eternity. I hope for all things because of Thy merits.
Second Point.
Consider, moreover, the mercy which God uses in calling the sinner to repentance. When Adam rebelled against the Lord, and afterwards hid himself from His face, behold God, Who having lost Adam, goes to seek him, and calls him, saying, " Where art thou?" Father Pereira observes, " They are the words of a father who is seeking his lost son." Very often, my brother, has God done the same with you. You were flying from God, and God has sought you, calling you, sometimes by inspirations, sometimes by a remorseful conscience, sometimes by a sermon, sometimes by trouble, and sometimes by the death of your friends. Jesus Christ comes to you, saying, "I am weary of crying; My throat is dry." (Ps. lxix. 3.) My son, I have almost ​lost My voice in calling thee. "Be warned, O sinners," observes S. Teresa, " for that same Lord Who is now calling you, will one day be your Judge." My Christian brother, how many times have you not turned a deaf ear to God when He has called you? You deserve that He should never call you again. But no, your God will never cease to call you, because He wishes to be at peace with you and to save you. And Who was He that called you? Even a God of Infinite Majesty. And what are you but a miserable worm? And wherefore does He call you? For nothing else than to give you back the life of grace which you have lost. " Wherefore turn yourselves, and live ye." (Ezek. xviii. 32.) It would be doing but little to live in a desert for a whole life, if by so doing we could gain Divine grace; but God offered His grace to you in one moment, if you chose to accept it, by doing one act of repentance; and you have refused it. And yet God has not abandoned you; but He has sought you, saying, Why wilt thou condemn thyself, my son? " For why will ye die, O house of Israel?"
When a man commits a deadly sin, he drives God away from his soul. " Therefore they say unto God, Depart from us; for we desire not the knowledge of Thy ways." (Job. xxi. 14.) But what does God do? He stands at the door of that ungrateful heart. " Behold, I stand at the door, and knock." (Rev. iii. 20.) And He entreats, as it were, the soul to admit Hun: " Open to Me, My sister." (Song of Sol. v. 2.) And He wearies Himself with entreating. " Yes," observes S. Dionysius the Areopagite, " God follows the sinner about like a discarded lover, entreating him not to be lost."
And S. Paul signifies the same when he writes to his disciples, "We pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God." (2 Cor. v. 20.) And the reflection is indeed beautiful that S. Chrysostom makes, commenting upon this, " Christ Himself beseeches you. What does He beseech? That ye may be reconciled to God; for it is not He that is your enemy, but yourselves." And the saint wishes to say that there is indeed no need for the sinner to strive to make his peace with God, for he only has to form the wish to make it, since it is he himself, and not God, that flies away from peace.
​This good Lord is ever seeking sinners, and saying to them: " Ungrateful ones, do not flee away from Me; tell Me why you flee? I love your good, and I have no other desire than to make you happy. Why therefore do you wish to be lost?" But, Lord, wherefore do all this? Why dost Thou exercise so much patience, and feel so much love for these rebellious ones? What good dost Thou hope from them? Does it not lessen Thy honour to show Thyself so compassionate towards these miserable sinners who fly from Thee? "What is man that Thou shouldst magnify him? and that Thou shouldst set Thine heart upon him?" (Job vii. 17.)
Affections and Prayers.
Behold, Lord, at Thy feet the ungrateful one who implores Thy mercy. I call Thee Father, because Thou wished that I should so call Thee. My Father, pardon me. I do not deserve compassion, because, since Thou hast been so good to me, I have been more ungrateful to Thee. Ah, because of Thy goodness, which has kept Thee from abandoning me when I fled from Thee because of that, receive me now that I come to Thee. Give me, my Jesus, a great grief for, the offences I have committed against Thee, and give me Thy kiss of peace. I repent more because of the evil I have committed against Thee, than because of any other evil. I detest and abhor it, and I join this my hatred to it with that which Thou, my Redeemer, didst feel for it in the Garden of Gethsemane. Ah, pardon me through the merits of that Blood which Thou didst shed for me in that garden. I promise Thee to strive never more to depart from Thee, and to drive away from my heart every affection that is not Thine. My Jesus, my Love, I love Thee beyond everything, and I wish ever to love Thee, and Thee only; but give me strength to do so, and make me wholly Thine.
Third Point.
The princes of the earth disdain even to look upon rebellious subjects who come to seek their pardon; but God does not so with us. " For the Lord your God is gracious and merciful, ​and will not turn away His face from you, if ye return to Him." (2 Chron. xxx. 9.) God will never turn away His face from him who returns to His feet; no, because He Himself invites him, and promises to receive him directly he returns. " Yet return again to me, saith the Lord." (Jer. iii. I.) " Turn ye unto me, saith the Lord of Hosts, and I will turn unto you." (Zech. i. 3.) Oh, the love and tenderness with which God embraces the sinner who returns to Him! Jesus Christ wished us to understand this, when He gave us the parable of the lost sheep, which when the shepherd had found he laid on his shoulders, saying, " Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost." (S. Luke xv. 6.) And afterwards Jesus adds, " There is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth." (Ibid. 10.) And much more did the Redeemer wish us to understand this, by the parable of the prodigal son, signifying that He is that Father, Who, seeing His lost son return, runs to meet him, and before he can speak embraces him, and kisses him, "And ran and fell on his neck, and kissed him." (S. Luke xv. 20.)
The Lord goes on to say, that if the shiner repents, his sins will be forgotten, as if they had never been committed. " But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, .... he shall surely live, he shall not die." (Ezek. xviii. 21.) Then He adds, " Come now, let us reason together, saith the Lord; though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow." (Isa. i. 18.) As if He had said, Come, sinners, "let us reason together;" if I do not pardon you, reprove Me, and treat Me as an unfaithful one. But no; for God will never cast a heart from Him that humbles itself and repents. " A broken and contrite heart, O God, shalt Thou not despise." (Ps. li. 17.)
The Lord glories in showing mercy and in pardoning sinners: " And therefore will He be exalted, that He may have mercy upon you." (Isa. xxx. 18.) And how long dost thou wait to be pardoned? Not one moment: " Thou shalt weep no more; He will be very gracious unto thee." (Isa. xxx. 19.) Sinner, says the prophet, thou hast not long to weep; for at the first tear the Lord will be moved to pity thee: " He will be very gracious unto thee at the voice of thy cry; when He shall hear ​it. He will answer thee." (Isa. xxx. 19.) God does not act with us as we do with Him. God calls us, and we turn a deaf ear to His call; but God, "when He shall hear, will answer thee;" directly thou repentest, and seekest pardon from Him, God will answer and pardon thee.
Affections and Prayers.
O my God, with Whom have I been contending? Even with Thee, Who art so good, Who hast created me, and Who hast died for me. And why hast Thou borne with me after having betrayed Thee so often? Ah, the sight alone of the patience which Thou hast had with me, ought to make me live for ever glowing with Thy love. And who is there who would have borne all the offences which I have committed against Thee, except Thou? Ah, wretched me, if again I should offend Thee, and become condemned! These mercies Thou hast shown me would be more painful to me than hell itself. No, my Redeemer, never allow me again to turn from Thee. Better to let me die. I know that Thy mercy will not bear with me much longer. I repent, O Thou Highest Good, for having offended Thee. I love Thee with all my heart, and am resolved to give the life that remains to me, to Thee only. Hear me, Eternal Father, through the merits of Jesus Christ; give me holy perseverance, and Thy holy love. Hear me, my Jesus, through the Blood Thou hast shed for me. " We therefore pray Thee help Thy servants whom Thou hast redeemed with Thy precious Blood."