# The Comedies of Plautus: Literally Translated into English Prose, with Notes/Volume 1/Menaechmi/Act IV

Act IV.—Scene I.
Enter, from her house, the Wife of Menæchmus of Epidamnus, followed by Peniculus.
Wife. And shall I allow myself to remain in wedlock ​here, when my husband secretly pilfers whatever's in the house, and carries it thence off to his mistress?
Pen. Why don't you hold your peace? I'll let you now catch him in the fact; do you only follow me this way. (They go to the opposite side of the stage.) In a state of drunkenness, with a chaplet on, he was carrying the mantle to the embroiderer's, which he purloined from you at home to-day. But see, here is the chaplet which he had on. (Seeing the chaplet on the ground.) Now am I saying false? Aha, this way has he gone, if you wish to trace his footsteps. And, by my faith, see, here he comes on his way back most opportunely, but he isn't wearing the mantle.
Wife. What now shall I do to him?
Pen. The same as usual; abuse him.
Wife. So I am resolved. Pen. Let's step aside this way watch him from ambush. (They retire on one side.)
Scene II.—Enter Menæchmus of Epidamnus.
Men. (to himself). How we do practise a custom here that is very foolish and extremely troublesome, and how even those who are the most worthy and great do follow this habit; all wish their dependants to be many in number; whether they are deserving or undeserving, about that they don't enquire. Their property is more enquired about, than what the reputation of their clients is for honor. If any person is poor and not dishonest, he is considered worthless; but if a rich man is dishonest, he is considered a good client. Those who neither regard laws nor any good or justice at all, the same have zealous patrons. What has been entrusted to them, they deny to have been so entrusted; men full of litigation, rapacious, and fraudulent; who have acquired their property either by usury or by perjury; their whole pleasure is in litigation. When the day for trial is appointed, at the same time it is mentioned to their patrons, in order that they may plead for ​them, about what they have done amiss. Before the people, or at law before the Prætor, or before the Ædile, is the cause tried. Just so, this day, a certain dependant has kept me very much engaged, nor was it allowed me to do what I wished, or in company with whom I wished; so fast did he stick to me, so much did he detain me. Before the Ædile, in behalf of his doings, very many and very disgraceful, did I plead his cause; a compromise I obtained, obscure and perplexed—more than enough I said, and than I needed to say, that surety for him might end this litigation. What did he do? Well, what? He gave bail. And never did I at any time see any person more clearly detected; three very adverse witnesses against all his misdeeds were there. May all the Gods confound him, he has so spoilt this day for me; and myself as well, who ever this day beheld the Forum with my eyes. I ordered a breakfast to be prepared; my mistress is expecting me, I'm sure; as soon as ever I had the opportunity, I made haste immediately to leave the Forum. Now, I suppose, she's angry with me; the mantle, however, will appease her that I gave her, the one I took away to-day from my wife and carried to Erotium here.
Pen. (apart to the Wife). What say you now?
Wife (apart). That I'm unfortunately married to a worthless fellow.
Pen. (apart). Do you perfectly hear what he says?
Wife. (apart). Quite well. Men. If I am wise, I shall be going hence in-doors, where it may be comfortable for me.
Pen. (coming forward). Stop; on the contrary, it shall be uncomfortable.
Men.*****she is very sorrowful; this doesn't quite please me, but I'll speak to her. Tell me, my wife, what is it amiss with you?
​Pen. (to the Wife). The pretty fellow's soothing you.
Men. Can't you cease being annoying to me? Did I address you?
Wife. (turning away from Menæchmus). Take yourself off—away with your caresses from me. Do you persist in it?
Men. Why are you offended with me?
Wife. You ought to know. Pen. The rascal knows, but he pretends not to know.
Men. Has any one of the servants done amiss? Do either the maid or the men-servants give you saucy answers? Speak out; it shan't be done with impunity.
Wife. You are trifling. Men. Surely you are angry at some one of the domestics?
Wife. You are trifling. Men. Are you angry with me at all events?
Wife. Now you are not trifling. Men. I' faith, I haven't done wrong in anything.
Wife. Ah! now you are trifling again.
Men. Wife, what's the matter? Wife. Do you ask me that?
Men. Do you wish me to ask him? (To Peniculus.) What's the matter?
Wife. The mantle. Men. The mantle?
Wife. A certain person has taken a mantle. (Menæchmus starts.)
Pen. (to Menæchmus). Why are you alarmed?
Men. For my part, I'm not alarmed at all—(aside) except about one thing; the mantle makes my face mantle.
Pen. (aside to Menæchmus). But as for me, you shouldn't have slily devoured the breakfast. (To the Wife.) Go on against your husband.
Men. (making signs to Peniculus). Won't you hold your tongue?
Pen. Faith, I really will not hold my tongue. (To the Wife.) He's nodding to me not to speak.
Men. On my word, I really never did not to you, or wink in any way.
​Pen. Nothing is more audacious than this man, who resolutely denies those things which you see.
Men. By Jupiter and all the Gods, I swear, wife, that I did not nod to him; isn't that enough for you?
Pen. She now believes you about that matter; go back again there.
Men. Go back where? Pen. Why, to the embroiderer, as I suppose. Go and bring the mantle back.
Men. What mantle is it? Pen. Now I hold my tongue, since he doesn't remember his own business.
Wife. Did you suppose that you could possibly commit these villanies unknown to me? By heavens, you have assuredly taken that away from me at a heavy usury; such is the return. (Shaking her fist.)
Pen. Such is the return. Do you make haste to eat up the breakfast in my absence; and then in your drunkenness make fun of me, with your chaplet on, before the house.
Men. By all the powers, I have neither breakfasted, nor have I this day set foot inside of that house.
Pen. Do you deny it? Men. By my troth, I really do deny it.
Pen. Nothing is there more audacious than this fellow. Did I not just now see you standing here before the house, with a chaplet of flowers on, when you were declaring that my headpiece wasn't sound, and declaring that you didn't know me, and saying that you were a foreigner?
Men. On the contrary, as some time since I parted with you, so I'm now returning home at last.
Pen. I understand you. You didn't think it was in my power to take vengeance upon you; i' faith, I've told it all to your wife.
Men. Told her what? Pen. I don't know; ask her own self.
Men. (turning to his Wife). What's this, wife? Pray, what ​has he been telling you? What is it? Why are you silent? Why don't you say what it is?
Wife. As though you didn't know. I' faith, I certainly am a miserable woman.
Men. Why are you a miserable woman? tell me.
Wife. Do you ask me? Men. Faith, I shouldn't ask you if I knew.
Pen. O the wicked fellow; how he does dissemble. You cannot conceal it; she knows the matter thoroughly; by my faith, I've disclosed everything.
Men. What is it? Wife. Inasmuch as you are not at all ashamed, and don't wish to confess of your own accord, listen, and attend to this; I'll both let you know why I'm sorrowful, and what he has told me. My mantle has been purloined from me at home.
Men. Mantle purloined from me? Pen. (to the Wife). D'you see how the rogue is catching you up? (To Menæchmus.) It was purloined from her, not from you; for certainly if it had been purloined from you, it would now be safe.
Men. (to Peniculus). I've nothing to do with you. But (to his Wife) what is it you say?
Wife. A mantle, I say, has been lost from home.
Men. Who has stolen it? Wife. I' faith, he knows that, who took it away.
Men. What person was it? Wife. A certain Menæchmus.
Men. By my troth, 'twas villanously done. Who is this Menæchmus?
Wife. You are he, I say. Men. I?
Wife. You. Men. Who accuses me?
Wife. I, myself. Pen. I, too; and you carried it off to Erotium here, your mistress.
Men. I, gave it her? Pen. You, you, I say. Do you wish for an owl to be brought here, to say "you, you," continually to you? For we are now quite tired of it.
Men. By Jupiter and all the Gods, I swear, wife (and isn't that enough for you?), that I did not give it.
Pen. Aye, and I, by all the powers, that we are telling no untruth.
​Men. But I haven't given it away, but just only lent it to be made use of.
Wife. But, i' faith, for my part, I don't lend either your scarf or your cloak out of the house, to any one, to be made use of. 'Tis fair that the woman should lend out of the house the woman's apparel, the man the man's. But why don't you bring the mantle home again?
Men. I'll have it brought back. Wife. For your own interest you'll do so, as I think; for you shall never enter the house to-day unless you bring the mantle with you. I'm going home.
Pen. (to the Wife). What's there to be for me, who have given you this assistance?
Wife. Your assistance shall be repaid, when anything shall be purloined from your house. (The Wife goes into the house.)
Pen. Then, by my troth, that really will never be; for nothing have I at home to lose. May the Gods confound you, both husband and wife. I'll make haste to the Forum, for I see clearly that I've quite fallen out with this family.
(Exit.
Men. My wife thinks that she does me an injury when she shuts me out of doors; as though I hadn't another better place to be admitted into. If I displease you, I must endure it; I shall please Erotium here, who won't be shutting me out of her house, but will be shutting me up in her house rather. Now I'll go; I'll beg her to give me back the mantle that I gave her a while since. I'll purchase another for her—a better one. Hallo! is any one the porter there? (Knocks at Erotium's door.) Open here, and some one of you call Erotium before the door.
Scene III.—Enter Erotium, from her house.
Ero. Who's enquiring for me here?
Men. One that's more of an enemy to his own self than to yourself.
Ero. My dear Menæchmus? Why are you standing before the house? Do follow me in-doors.
​Men. Stop. Do you know why it is that I'm come to you?
Ero. I know well; that you may amuse yourself with me.
Men. Why no, troth, that mantle which I gave you a while since, give it me back, I entreat you; my wife has become acquainted with all the transaction, in its order, just as it happened. I'll procure for you a mantle of twofold greater value than you shall wish.
Ero. Why, I gave it your own self a little while since, that you might take it to the embroiderer's, and that bracelet, too, that you might take it to the goldsmith's that it might be made anew.
Men. You, gave me the mantle and the bracelet? You'll find 'twas never done. For, indeed, after I gave it you a while ago, and went away to the Forum, I'm but just returning, and now see you for the first time since.
Ero. I see what plan you are upon; that you may defraud me of what I entrusted to you, at that thing you are aiming——
Men. On my word, I do not ask it for the sake of defrauding you. But I tell you that my wife has discovered the matter.
Ero. Nor did I of my own accord beg you to give it me; of your own accord you yourself brought it me. You gave it me as a present; now you're asking for the same thing back again. I'll put up with it; keep it to yourself; take it away; make use of it, either yourself or your wife, or squeeze it into your money-box even. After this day, that you mayn't be deceived, you shan't set your foot in this house, since you hold me in contempt, who deserve so well of you. Unless you bring money, you'll be disappointed; you can't cajole me. Find some other woman, henceforth, for you to be disappointing.
Men. By my troth, very angry at last. Hallo! you; stay, I bid you. Come you back. Will you stay now? Will you even for my sake come back? (Erotium goes into her house, and shuts the door.) She has gone in-doors, and shut the house. Now I'm regularly barred out; I have ​neither any credit at home now, nor with my mistress. I'll go and consult my friends on this matter, as to what they think should be done.
(Exit.
* ↑ To remain in wedlock)—Ver. 559. As already observed in the Notes to the Stichus and the Miles Gloriosus, the facilities for divorce, by reason of incompatibility and other circumstances, were very great among the Romans.
* ↑ Most worthy and great)—Ver. 572. "Optumi maximi." This was properly an epithet of Jupiter, and is, perhaps, satirically applied to the "little Gods," the great men of Rome. In the previous line he uses "morus," the Greek word μωρός, signifying "foolish," on account of its resemblance to the word "more," "manner" or "custom."
* ↑ Before the people)—Ver. 587. It is thought that he here refers to the three modes of trial in civil cases among the Romans—"apud populum," before the people in the Comitia centuriata, or full assembly; "in jure," before the "Prætor," or his delegates, the "Recuperatores" or "Judices selecti," "commissioned judges;" and before the Ædile, or city officer. He says, that on being summoned to the "concio," a "cliens" or dependant suddenly accosted him, and insisted on his defending him, which greatly detained him, but that in spite of the worthlessness of his client's cause, he was at last successful in effecting a compromise.
* ↑ That surety for him)—Ver. 592. He probably means that he gained time for his client to pay the debt, on condition of his giving bail or security that he would do so within a certain time.
* ↑ The mantle makes)—Ver. 616. "Palia pallorem incutit." In his alarm he cannot avoid a pun on the resemblance between "palla," the "mantle," and "pallor," paleness. The meaning is, literally, "the mantle strikes paleness into me;" but an attempt is made in the Translation to imitate the play upon the words
* ↑ Such is the return)—Ver. 626. "Sic datur." Literally, "thus it is given," or "on these terms it is lent." Some Commentators will have it, that these words are accompanied with a slap on the face, in which case they will be equivalent to "there, take that." They may, however, simply mean, "such are the terms" on which you had my mantle, "such are the results of your lending;" her abuse and indignation, accompanied, perhaps, with a threat, being the "fœnus," or "interest" for the loan.
* ↑ Wish for an owl)—Ver. 664. "Tu, tu." He alludes to the note of the owl which to the Romans would seem to say "tu, tu," "you, you."
* ↑ Than to yourself)—Ver. 675. "Ætati tuæ." Literally, "to your age," a circumlocution for "yourself."
* ↑ Into your money-box)—Ver. 691. "As you make so much fuss about it, and it is so valuable, squeeze it up into your money-box."