# Social Customs/Chapter 8

"Scratch a Russian, and you will find a Tartar," says the old proverb; intimating, in language more plain than elegant, that a Russian is only a sort of half-savage. And yet these same people, savage or not, control in large measure the diplomacy of Europe, invent wonderful and dreadful forms of modern liberalism, write our best contemporary novels, and last but not least, lay down the law which regulates the tables of every civilized land.
Clearly these Russians are not effete, whatever else they may be; and we have adopted the dîner à la Russe from them, just as in an earlier state of civilization the Romans adopted trousers from their savage conquerors, who were brachati, or "breeches-wearing." And to the bondage of the trouser mankind has remained a slave all these fourteen hundred years since Rome fell.
How long our bondage to the dîner à la Russe will last it is difficult to imagine; probably as long as the present epoch of luxury and æstheticism lasts, for this method of serving meals is as pleasing to the eye as it is agreeable to that natural laziness which abides in the hearts of most men.
A table covered with fruit and flowers, exquisite glass, china, and silver, graceful candelabra,—bonbons and candied fruits perhaps at the corners,—these are all that the modern ​guest sees when he sits down to the table; but to the eye of faith much more is present, especially if menu-cards, placed in pretty holders, rehearse the catalogue of tempting dainties that are to come.
The table-cloth, the foundation for all this gorgeous display, may be of plain damask, or it may consist of the most costly and elaborate drawn-work, dainty and lace-like in effect; but let it be always white. While some people place a colored cloth beneath the embroidered one in order to show the effect of the work, this arrangement is in questionable taste, and is thought by many persons to be wanting in refinement.
A few years ago dinner-tables were lighted by gas only; but we have borrowed a leaf from Europeans, and as they consider gas vulgar, we begin to think we must do so too, although gas in America is superior in quality to that manufactured abroad. Handsome branching candelabra, usually of silver, filled with white or colored wax-candles, the light softened by colored shades, are now considered the most elegant way of lighting the table; although lamps—which are now made of such beautiful patterns—are often used.
There must not be too great a glare of light on the table, as that would be trying to the eyes of many guests; it is better to have some of the light come from side-branches or chandeliers projecting from the wall, or hanging from the ceiling.
Too much light means also too much heat, and above all things a dining-room should not be overheated; neither should it be full of draughts from open windows. The best way is to keep it pretty cool during the day, instead of neglecting to pay any attention to the temperature until the last moment, and then throwing open windows and doors in every direction. A dining-room should always have a carpet on it to deaden the sound of feet.
​The decoration of the table is largely a matter of individual taste, limited by certain rules which do not vary. One of the most important of these is that mere ornament must not be allowed to take too prominent a place at the feast; it must never be arranged so as to interfere with conversation across the table, or to intercept the view of the guests. The decorations should be high enough for people to see under them, or so low that one can look over them.
An ingenious gentleman of Boston has lofty palm-trees, which seem to spring from the centre of his festive board and wave above the heads of his guests with true tropical luxuriance. They really have their roots in large pots placed under the table, through which holes are bored to admit the passage of the stems.
Low, flat centre-pieces of flowers, round or oblong in shape, are often used, and are much liked, because they afford no barrier to sight or to conversation. With this style four smaller bouquets for the corners of the table are very pretty, the flowers in the latter corresponding with the central design. Blue hydrangea interspersed with sprays of lily of the valley and bordered with maiden's-hair ferns makes a very effective decoration used in this way, and has also the good quality of not emitting too strong an odor. Flowers for the dinner-table may be sweet, but should not be oppressive with their fragrance. A centre-piece of blush roses, with hand bouquets to match, is an old-time favorite. These bouquets may be tied with broad pink satin ribbon and laid beside each lady's plate.
The "blue" and "pink" dinners—in which china, table ornaments, etc., were all of the chosen color—are no longer as fashionable as they were. The same is true of "silver" and "glass" dinners, at which the guests marvelled at the gorgeous display of plate or admired the beautiful shape and endless variety of crystal vessels,—now of cut glass, sparkling ​like diamonds, now of delicate glass engraved with exquisite designs, and as brittle as the heart of an old-fashioned heroine of romance. These "fancies in china" are all very well occasionally; but the greatest beauty is found in harmony, not in monotone, and the most æsthetically adorned tables encourage variety rather than oddity.
Where the giver of a dinner does not wish to go to much expense for flowers, a very graceful ornament can be made by placing a pot of maiden-hair fern in the centre of the table, the pot being covered by pieces of bark or moss, tied on with fine thread or wire. Or pretty little majolica and china ornaments in all sorts of odd shapes may be placed about the table, filled with cut flowers.
A very effective centre-piece can be made by arranging fruit and flowers together, or even with fruit alone. Very pretty gilt baskets low and flat in shape have now come into vogue, with pans fitted in the centre and filled with growing ferns. Wild-flowers artistically arranged make exquisite table ornaments. It would doubtless surprise some farmers to see the weeds which they so detest, and wage a life-long warfare with, set in the place of honor on the rich man's table. Yet there the sturdy weeds stand to-day, pretty, saucy, and graceful, like country beauties newly come to Court.
In England, where tropical fruit is so much more expensive than with us, pineapples, etc., are sometimes hired to ornament the table with, and are returned intact when the feast is over.
The lofty épergnes for fruit and flowers are very imposing and showy; they correspond with the candelabra or lamps, and are preferred by many people. A tall centre-piece (whether of silver or glass—the latter is more modern) should stand on a silver tray, or on a flat mirror made for the purpose. Beneath may be a sort of large mat of bright-colored velvet, which is often used to give a good bit of color ​to the table. Carafes or water-bottles of cut or engraved glass should be placed at each corner, and for a large dinner-party in the middle of each side also. This is not done in England, where "tumblers are placed on the sideboard and not on the table," and where they are inclined to laugh good-naturedly at our American habit of perpetually drinking ice-water.
A "cover" signifies the place laid at table for each person, and should consist of two large knives, a small silver knife and fork for fish, three large forks, a table-spoon for soup, a small "oyster-fork" for eating oysters on the half-shell, a goblet for water, and claret, hock, champagne, and sherry glasses, which are placed around it. The knives and forks should always be placed on the right and left of the plate, and never across the table.
In England, where raw oysters are not usually given at dinner, the dinner-napkin, with the bread folded in it, is placed between the knives and forks. But with us, the napkin and bread are placed on the left, as raw oysters, served on a majolica oyster-plate, with a piece of lemon in the centre, are set at each place before the guests enter. The oyster-fork is usually placed at the right side of the plate, but the other forks should be on the left.
The napkin, as has been said elsewhere, should be simply folded, either standing upright, like a sort of triangle, with the ends drawn together to hold the bread, or folded square, with the top part creased and turned back diagonally; and the bread, which should be cut in small thick pieces, and not in slices, tucked under this fold—or in any other simple way.
The glasses are placed on the right. For champagne glasses a broad, low, flaring shape is now in vogue, although the old-fashioned long slender ones are much more graceful. For hock, green glass, and for claret or Burgundy, deep red ​glass should be used; for sherry, a white wine-glass, of conventional form, the old unchanging pattern, remains always essentially the same.
Seven and even nine wine-glasses are sometimes put beside each plate, but most of us would not approve of such a profusion of wine as this would imply. At other tables, two extra glasses, one for sherry or Madeira, and the other for claret or Burgundy, are put on with the dessert. These late-coming glasses are usually very delicate, as they accompany choice wines. No table-spoons (save those for soup) or other extra silver are placed on table for dîner à la Russe, and no cruets or casters.
After the raw oysters soup is served. At very stylish dinners it is customary to serve two soups,—white and brown, or white and clear. A thick soup is purée, and a clear soup is consommé. The soup, like the rest of the dinner, is served from the sideboard.
Fish is the next course, and is followed by the entrées, or "those dishes which are served in the first course after the fish." It is well to serve two entrées at once at a very elaborate dinner, and thus save time. To these succeed the roast, followed by Roman punch, and this in turn is followed by game and salad. Roman punch should only be given with a dinner of many courses; it is quite out of place at a simple dinner, where there is only one course of meat. It is properly an "entremêt," or "dish coming after the roast, in the second course."
Salad is sometimes served with the game, or again, it is served as a separate course, accompanied with cheese and with bread and butter. The bread should be cut very thin and nicely buttered, although sometimes the butter and bread are served separately.
Cheese is often made a course by itself; indeed, the general tendency of the modern dinner is to have each dish "all ​alone by itself," like the one fishball of classic memory. This style, however, may be carried too far. Only one or at most two vegetables are served with one course, and many vegetables make a course by themselves, as asparagus, sweet corn, macaroni, etc.
Some people think it is very barbarous to eat corn from the cob, but many others consider it entirely allowable to do so. A lady who gives many elegant dinners at Newport causes to be laid beside the plate of each guest two little silver-gilt spike-like arrangements. Each person then places these in either end of the corn-cob, and eats his corn holding it by two silver handles as it were.
After the salad and cheese come the ices and sweet dishes, then the fruit, then the bonbons. Coffee is usually served in the drawing-room, although it may be handed around in the dining-room if the guests have not already sat too long at the table.
Gentlemen stay at table a short time after the ladies have left it, discussing wine, cigars, and liqueurs (or cordials), and no doubt indulging in the most improving conversation. After dinner coffee should always be café noir, or strong black coffee. It should be poured out in the kitchen or butler's pantry and handed round on a salver in tiny cups, with tiny gold or silver spoons and lump sugar, but no cream or milk.
For all the hot-meat courses, entrées, etc., the guests are provided with hot plates; but these are not used for salads nor cold meats, nor for hot puddings, which keep their own heat too well to need any artificial aid.
For a dinner of many courses the knives and forks laid beside the plates will not be sufficient. Therefore at a later stage of the entertainment a fresh fork, or fork and knife, as the course may require, is set before each person on a fresh plate.
​Before the dessert everything is of course cleared from the table except the table-cloth, which is never taken away now, for two reasons: first, because this would disturb too much the many decorations which adorn a modern feast; second, because, with the new methods of serving, there is little danger of soiling the cloth.
For the dessert, a silver dessert knife and fork and a gold or silver dessert spoon are put at each place. To these is often added an ice-spoon,—a compromise between a fork and a spoon. The finger-bowl comes with the fruit; it is set on the plate (usually a glass one or a handsomely decorated china one), a fruit napkin or one of the embroidered doilies now so fashionable being placed between.
As these dainty trifles often cost twenty-five or thirty dollars a dozen, it would be an act of Vandalism to do more than look at them; the guest, therefore, must fall back on his dinner-napkin for real use. For peaches, a genuine fruit napkin should be provided, as they stain white ones very badly.
Sherry is the proper wine to accompany soup. Chablis, hock, or sauterne go with the fish course, claret and champagne with the roast. If Madeira and port are used, they should come after the game. Sherry and claret, or Burgundy, are again offered with the dessert, the after-dinner wines being of a superior quality to those served during the meal.
Cordials or liqueurs come after the dessert. These are poured out by the butler into tiny glasses and passed around the table on a small salver. Champagne and other sparkling wines should be set in an ice-pail to cool until just before they are served. They are never decanted, but poured out as quickly as possible after they are opened.
It is customary in this country to pass around a silver or china ice-bowl containing broken ice before the champagne is offered; but the servant should never put ice in any one's ​glass without first asking if he wishes it, as some people object decidedly to having their wine thus weakened. Claret is not usually decanted in America. It should never be iced, but, on the contrary, is sometimes warmed slightly; it should be about the same temperature as the room. The same is true of Burgundy.
Sherry, Madeira, and port are always decanted, and are placed on the sideboard ready for use. No wine should be put on the dinner-table at first. At a later stage decanters may be set before the host, who sends them to his guests. When these are placed on the table gentlemen help themselves and the ladies next to them.
Champagne is passed many a time and oft during the dinner, being a favorite wine; but it is not usually handed with the dessert in this country, whereas on the Continent it is served with the sweets. A napkin should always be fastened around a champagne bottle, as it is almost necessarily wet from recent contact with the ice.
For a small dinner it is quite sufficient to have two or three wines; in this case, sherry with the soup, and claret or champagne with the roast, would be the best selection. Wine should be offered on the right hand, thus making an exception to the rule in accordance with which all dishes are handed on the left hand.
The washing of plates, silver, etc., at a dinner-party should if possible be performed at such a distance from the dining-room that the clatter will be inaudible to those seated at table. In order to give an elaborate dinner it is almost indispensable that one should have a large quantity of china and plate, otherwise the delay from washing the dishes will be endless. Those that have been used should be at once removed from the dining-room, a page or maid-servant carrying them away; and one or two servants should be employed in washing them.
​When one plate is taken away at the end of a course another is at once substituted for it. If a knife and fork are laid on this, the guest should take them off promptly, otherwise he may delay the serving of the next course. For the same reason the finger-bowl and doily should be at once removed from the plate.
The entrées are generally passed to guests in order that they may help themselves. Sometimes, however, all the courses are helped from the side-table. It is considered to be in better style for the servant to have a small napkin wrapped around his hand, so that it shall not come in contact with the dishes as he passes them, rather than that he should wear gloves. Only hired waiters wear gloves.
The number of servants required to wait on a dinner depends largely on their efficiency. At a large dinner one waiter to every three guests, or even to every two guests, is sometimes employed; per contra, one thoroughly trained and efficient waiter can attend to eight or ten people.
At large and ceremonious dinners a card with each person's name is usually placed on or beside each plate. If a menu or bill of fare is used it may be laid beside the other card, or it may be placed in the pretty and fanciful menu-holders that are now easily obtainable. Where these holders are used there should be at least one to every two guests, or still better one to each person; but many people do not consider menu-cards appropriate in a private house.
As the custom is now abolished of waiting till every one is helped before beginning to eat, it should be one servant's duty to pass the proper sauce or vegetables to each person just after he has been helped by another servant to the meat. This greatly expedites matters, besides enabling every one to begin to eat his dinner while it is still hot.
The order in which the guests should be helped depends somewhat on the number of servants who wait on the table. ​Where there are a number in attendance, one servant should begin on each side of the table, helping first the lady sitting next the host, and then the other ladies, in the order in which they sit. The gentlemen should be helped afterward, the host always receiving his plate last.
Where, however, the attendance is limited, and it is desir able to expedite matters, the servant may first help the lady on the host's right (the guest of honor), then the one on his left, and then the guests as they sit, ladies and gentlemen, leaving the host to be helped last. But it is always desira ble to help all the ladies first.
The butler or head waiter is much too grand a person to wear any man's livery. He wears full evening dress,—dress-coat, white tie, etc., for late dinners. Earlier in the day he appears in dark morning costume. The second man wears livery, and where more than two men are kept, the others wear livery also.
The drinking of toasts is going out of fashion; people still occasionally drink one another's health. In order to do so it is merely necessary to bow, when the other person bows in return. Each one then drinks a few drops of wine and sets down his glass, bowing once more.