# Preparation for death/XVII. OF THE ABUSE OF DIVINE MERCY

CONSIDERATION XVII
Of the Abuse of Divine Mercy
"Not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance? " Rom. ii. 4.
First Point.
WE read in the parable in S. Matthew xiii. that the tares, having grown in a field together with the corn, the servants wished to go and pluck them up. " Wilt Thou then that we go and gather them up?" But the Master answered, "Nay; .... Let them both grow together until the harvest: and ha the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them." From this parable we learn the patience which the Lord shows to sinners, and also the severity which He shows to those who are obstinate. S. Augustine observes, that the devil deceives men in two ways, " By despair and by hope." After the sinner has committed the sin, he tempts him to despair, through fear of the Divine Justice; but before the sin is committed, he tempts the sinner to commit it, by telling "him of the Divine Mercy. Therefore the saint warns every one, by saying, " After sin, hope for mercy; before sin, fear justice." Yes, because he who makes use of mercy to offend God, does not deserve mercy. Mercy is shown to him who fears God, not to him who makes use of it so as not to fear God. He who offends justice, observes Abulensis, can fly to mercy; but he that offends the same mercy, to whom can he fly?
It is but seldom a sinner is found so hopeless, as to wish to be ​condemned. Sinners are willing to sin, but they are not willing to give up the hope of being saved. They commit sin, and say to themselves, God is merciful; I will commit this sin, and afterwards confess it. Behold, says S. Augustine, this is how sinners talk: " God is good, I will do what it pleaseth me;" but O God, how many, who are now in hell, have said the same!
The Lord tells us not to say that the mercies of God are great, and that although we may commit many sins, by one act of sorrow they will be pardoned. " Say not the mercy of the Lord is great, He will have mercy on the multitude of my sins." (Ecclus. v. 6.) God tells us not to say this, and wherefore? " For mercy and wrath quickly come from Him, and His wrath worketh upon sinners." (Ecclus. v. 7.) The mercy of God is infinite, but the acts of this mercy, are finite. God is merciful, but He is also just. S. Basil observes that sinners will only consider God in one aspect. " The Lord is good, but also just; we are unwilling to think of God in His half-nature." To bear with him who makes use of the mercy of God, only to do Him more offence, observes Father Avila, would not be mercy, for justice would be lacking. Mercy is promised to him who fears God, not, indeed, to him who abuses it, as the holy Virgin sang, " His mercy is on them that fear Him." To the obstinate, justice is threatened, and, as S. Augustine observes, God never fails in His promises, neither does He fail in His threats.
Take care, says S. Chrysostom, when the devil, but not God, promises thee Divine Mercy, that thou mayest commit sin.
Woe, adds S. Augustine, to him who hopes, so that he may sin, " Woe to that perverse hope." Oh! exclaims the saint, how many there are, whom this vain hope has deceived and caused to be lost!
Unhappy, indeed, is he who abuses the mercy of God by offending him more! S. Bernard observes that it was for this reason that Lucifer was so soon punished by God, because he rebelled, in the hope that he should not be punished for rebelling, King Manasseh was a sinner, but he became afterwards converted, and God pardoned him. Amon, his son, seeing his father was so easily pardoned, gave himself up to an evil life, at the same time hoping to be pardoned; but for Amon there was ​no pardon. S. Chrysostom observes that it was even for this reason that Judas was lost, because he committed the sin, trusting in the mercy of Jesus Christ, "in the meekness of his Master." In short, although God endures for some time, yet He will not endure for ever. If God were to suffer sin for ever, no one would be lost; but it is the general opinion, that the greater part even of Christians, and those adults, are lost. " For wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat." (S. Matt. vii. 13.)
He who offends God, hoping to be pardoned, " is a derider, and not a penitent," observes S. Augustine. But on the contrary, S. Paul says, that " God is not mocked." (Gal. vi. 7.) It would be mocking God to continue to offend, and afterwards to go to heaven, " For whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." (Gal. vi. 7.) He that sows in sin, has no right to hope for anything but punishment and hell. The snare into which the devil draws almost all those Christians and the deceit is, by telling them to sin freely, because, notwithstanding all then sins, they will be saved. But God curses him who sins in the hope of pardon. " Cursed is the man who sins in hope." The sinner's hope, when he is repentant, even after he has committed the sin, is indeed dear to God; but the hope of those who are obstinate, is an abomination to God. " Their hope shall be as the giving up of the ghost." (Job xi. 20.) Such a hope as this only provokes God to punish them, even as a master would be provoked by that servant who should offend him, even though the master be good.
Affections and Prayers.
Ah, my God, I have been one of those who offended Thee notwithstanding Thou wast good to me. Lord, wait for me, do not abandon me; because I hope, Thy grace helping me, never more to provoke Thee to abandon me. I repent, O Thou Infinite Goodness, for having offended Thee, and for, having thus abused Thy patience. I thank Thee that Thou hast waited for me until now. From this day forward, I will never more abuse Thee as I have done in the time that is past. Thou hast borne with me so long, that Thou mightest one day see me ​" made a lover of Thy goodness. That that day be already come, is my hope. I love Thee more than anything, and I prize Thy grace more than all the kingdoms of the world; rather than lose it, I would lose my life, if it were possible to do so, many times over, My God, for the love of Jesus Christ, give me holy perseverance until death, with Thy most holy love. Never allow me to betray Thee any more, neither to cease to love Thee.
Second Point.
Some will say, God has shown me so many mercies during the time that is past, that I hope He will continue to do so for the future. But I answer, for what reason has He shown you so many mercies? Is it because He wishes you to return and offend Him? Therefore, as S. Paul says, " Despisest thou the riches of His goodness, and forbearance, and long-suffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?" (Rom. ii. 4.) When thou art trusting in Divine mercy, if thou art not willing to put an end to thy sin, God will put an end to it for thee. " If a man will not turn, He will whet His sword." (Ps. vii. 13.) "To me belongeth vengeance and recompence." (Deut. xxxii. 35.) God waits, but when the time of revenge arrives, He will wait no longer; but He will then punish.
" And therefore will the Lord wait, that He may be gracious unto you." (Isa. xxx. 18.) God waits for the sinner that he may repent, but when He sees that he, to whom time is given to weep over his sins, only employs the time in increasing his sin, then He calls upon that same time to judge him. S. Gregory observes, " The time itself, comes to be judged." So that the very time that is given, the same mercies which have been shown, will only serve to make his punishment more severe, and his abandonment more quick. " We would have healed Babylon, but she is not healed: forsake her." (Jer. li. 9.) And how does God forsake the sinner? He sends death to him, or allows him to die in sin, or else deprives him of His abundant grace, and leaves him with that grace only which is sufficient for the sinner to be saved, but which the sinner will not make use of. The mind darkened, the heart hardened, the evil habit ​which is done, will render his salvation morally impossible, and thus will he remain if not absolutely, at least, morally abandoned.
" I will take away the hedge thereof, and it shall be eaten up." (Isa. v. 5.) Oh, what a punishment! When the master of the vineyard breaks down the hedge, and allows any one who may wish to enter the vineyard, both man and beast, it is a sign that he has abandoned it. When God abandons a soul, He does even this He takes away the hedge of fear, remorse of conscience, and leaves the soul in darkness, and then all the monsters of vice enter into the soul. " Thou makest darkness that it may be night: wherein all the beasts of the forest do move." (Ps. civ. 20.) And when the sinner is thus left in darkness, he will despise every thing, the grace of God, Paradise warnings; he will even laugh at his own damnation. "When the wicked cometh, then cometh also contempt." (Prov. xviii. 3.)
God very often leaves the sinner without punishment in this life; but the shiner's greatest punishment often is, that he is not punished. " Let favour be showed to the wicked, yet will he not learn righteousness." (Isa. xxvi. 10.) S. Bernard observes upon this text, " I do not desire this compassion, it is worse than any anger."
Oh, what a punishment is it, when God leaves the sinner to his sin, and when He appears to ask for no account of his sin, nor to be angry with him. " So will I make My fury toward thee to rest, and My jealousy shall depart from thee." (Ezek. xvi. 42.) And when He seems to leave him to follow all that he desires in this world; " So I gave them up unto their own heart's lusts, and let them follow their own imaginations." (Ps. lxxxi. 13.) Alas, for those miserable sinners who prosper in this life! It is a sign that God is waiting to make them the victims of His justice in the life to come. Jeremiah inquires, " Wherefore doth the way of the wicked prosper? " (Jer. xii. I.) And then he answers, " Pull them out like sheep for the slaughter." (Jer. xii. 3.) There is no greater punishment, than when God permits a sinner to add sin to sin, according to what David says, " Let them fall from one wickedness to another; . . . . let them be wiped out of the book of the living." (Ps. ​lxix. 28, 29.) Concerning which Bellarmine observes, " There is no punishment greater, than when sin becomes the punishment of sin." Far better would it have been for any one of these unhappy ones, had the Lord allowed him to die after having committed the first sin; for dying after so many sins, he will suffer even as he has sinned.
Affections and Prayers.
My God, in this miserable state I know full well that I deserve to be deprived of Thy grace and of Thy light, but seeing that Thou dost still grant me light, and feeling that Thou dost still call me to repentance, it is a sign that Thou hast not yet forsaken me. And since Thou hast not left me, arise, O Lord, increase Thy mercy towards me; increase my light; increase my desire to serve and to love Thee. Change me, O my God, and from a traitor and rebel, which I have been, make me a lover indeed of Thy goodness, so that one day I may come to heaven, there to praise Thy mercy for ever. Thou art therefore willing to pardon me, and I desire nothing else than Thy pardon and Thy love. I repent, O Infinite Goodness, for having given Thee so much displeasure, I love Thee, O my Sovereign Good, because Thou commandest me to love Thee. I love Thee because Thou art worthy of being loved. Ah, my Redeemer, through the merits of Thy Blood, make Thyself to be loved by a sinner whom Thou hast loved so much, and whom Thou hast borne with for so many years. My hopes are all in Thy mercy. I hope to love Thee, from this day forward, even until death, and afterwards in eternity. I will praise Thy mercy, my Jesus, for ever.
Third Point.
My brother, when the devil tempts you to sin again, if you wish to condemn yourself, it is in your power to sin; but do not in that case say that you wish to be saved. As long as you choose to sin, look upon yourself as condemned, and picture to yourself that God thus writes your condemnation, "What should have been done more in My vineyard that I have not done in it?" (Isa. v. 4.) Ungrateful one, what more is there ​that I ought to do for you that I have not done? So, then, since you choose to be condemned, it is your own fault.
But you will say, " Where then is the mercy of God? " Ah, unhappy one! does not the mercy of God appear in having borne for so many years with so many sins? You ought ever to remain with averted face, thanking Him, and saying, " It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed." (Lam. iii. 22.) In committing a mortal sin, you have been guilty of a greater fault than if you trod under foot the loftiest monarch of a world. You have committed so many sins, that if the injuries which you have done to God, you had done to your fleshly brother, he would not have endured the sight of you; whilst God not only has waited for you, but He has also so often called you, and invited you to pardon. " What could have been done more?" if God stood in need of you, or if you had done him some great favour, could He use greater compassion towards you? This being so, if you turn again to offend Hun, His pity will be turned to anger and punishment.
If that fig-tree, which the Master found without fruit after the year which was granted for its cultivation, should still have produced no fruit, who could have expected that the Lord should have given to it a longer time, and spared the cutting of it down? Attend, therefore, to that which S. Augustine warns you of: " Oh, fruitless tree, the axe was only deferred; be not secure, thou shalt be cut down." The Saint says that the punishment has been delayed, but not done away with; if you further abuse the Divine compassion, " you shall be cut down; " finally, vengeance will overtake you. Do you wish to wait, that God Himself may send you to hell? But if He should send you there, truly you know, that there is no further help for you; the Lord is silent, but not for ever: when the time of vengeance is come, He is silent no longer. " These things hast thou done, and I held My tongue, and thou thoughtest wickedly that I am even such ah one as thyself; but I will reprove thee, and set before thee the things that thou hast done." (Ps. 1. 21.) The mercies which He has shown to you God will set before you, and He will cause these very mercies both to judge and to condemn you.
Affections and Prayers.
Ah, my God, unhappy me, if from this day henceforth I am not faithful to Thee, and if I should turn again to betray Thee after the lights which now Thou givest to me, this light is a sign that Thou wilt pardon me. I repent, O Highest Good, of all the injuries that I have done in giving offence unto Thy Infinite Goodness. I hope for pardon through Thy Blood; and I hope with certainty; but I feel, that if I were to turn away again from Thee, I should deserve a hell formed for me. And this is what made me tremble, O God of my soul; that I can turn away and lose Thy grace. I remember how many times I have promised to be faithful to Thee, and how afterwards again I have revolted from Thee. O Lord, do not permit it; do not abandon me to the great disgrace of becoming again Thine enemy; send me any punishment, but not this. " Do not suffer me to be separated from Thee." Grant me rather to die if Thou seest that I shall again offend Thee. I am content to die any death, however painful, rather than have to weep over the wretchedness of being deprived of Thy grace. "Do not permit me to be separated from Thee; " and thus I repeat again and again; grant me ever so to do. I love Thee, my dear Redeemer; by the merits of Thy death give me a stronger love that shall bind me to Thee, so that I shall never be able to sever myself from Thee any more.