# Reflections upon Ireland (Petty 1660)/7

​The last Section.Whilst the Jealousies and Suspitions of many against me were but as a vapour and exhalation from their own dirty hearts, no man thought it worth his while to condense them into so thick and stormy a Cloud, as since hath appeared. But when adventurous Sir Jerome (out of hopes to get himself set up with Gogmagog and Corinæus, or with Bevis of Southampton, and to have his formidable Effigies hung up for a Sign at those Taverns where Hectors and Knights Errant use to roar and rant) accused me in Parliament, The manner of paying over-meriting Servants. and had raised a mighty smoak, he then perceiving his Enterprize to be dangerous, undertook an Errantry (as was said before) into Ireland, and there with Prayers, Tears, and all ​other artificers did beg and conjure all his friends and acquaintance for help to rake up dirt, wherewith to greaten every heap of his first Dunghil-articles; Whereupon many such Scavengers and Goldfinders accordingly went to work; all Offices were searcht, all my fellow Commissioners pumpt; All retainers to me or the Office tampered with, Perfect Enemies sent for: The Indigent (if they did but say they could help in the work) were supported with Money; Emissaries sent forth to all quarters from whence the least light was hoped; Letters dispatcht into all Corners of the Nation; a formal Office of Address erected; Every man had his part appointed, some being to Rake, some to Garble, some to Calculate and weigh, and some to draw Conclusions; some labouring upon the matters of Fact, some on that of Law, some were appointed for Speech-makers, some for Quiblers: For unto that filthy Buffoonry was ingenious Mr. Mervin designed; viz. Eo nomine for their Quibler. Now when the play was composed, 'twas privately acted by way of Preparation; one being appointed to act and represent ​Dr. Petty, (whom they were pleased to call their Fox) Every Goose having his part assigned. Upon Consideration of all which laborious Artifices, I onely offer; A more Christian method of proceeding with publick Ministers. Whether a vast publique work, having been done, and no reward given me, the principal Labourer in it, it had not been more honest and Christian to have taken the like care to do it? Or at least to have first conferred and expostulated with me, concerning the most palpable miscarriages apprehended; and together with an Enquiry into what Evill I had done, to have enquired also, of the contrary, with Consideration as well from what obvious Enormities I had kept my self free, as of what I had been guilty: and then and not till then to have proceeded according to the heaviest side of the Scales. In order whereunto I shall assist all charitable Justiciaries (who have a mind to supply what this furious Knight has over-run) with the following List of Interrogatories, relating to the Avarice, Injustice, fraud, unfaitfulness, Scoffing, Oppressing of the lower party, contempt of Churches, &c. Unto some of all which, all the distasts of my Adversaries may be referred.
​Upon the first of which heads, viz. My Avarice, Enquire whether I ever spake word to get my Salaries augmented; Did I ever ask Fee? Did ever any Man perceive the least slackness in my duty where 'twas wanting? How often have I refused Fees? What Artifices have I used to refuse them, and yet not seem to do it towards decayed persons of Quality? And whereas I was Physitian of the Army, Did I not without sticking serve the Generals and the Officers Families, even their Wives Children and Servants, yea without the least grumbling serve all persons gratis, though not of the Army, with many other extraordinary services? What Tradesman or Workman did I ever imploy in my private Capacity, whom I did not pay freely, speedily, and liberally? Let it be enquired whether I have not yearly given away more then I spent upon my own person? What place or Office did I ever strive for? How have I endeavoured to decline those I had? Did I get a penny as the Lord Lieutenants Secretary? in which place I verily believe the gaining of 1000 l. per annum might have been justified? Did I take any ​perquisites as Clerk of the Councell, did I not formerly give much of them away? Ask those who have offered me large presents of Gold, how I treated them? I have many hundred pounds owing me in dribling debts; whom did I ever arrest? How many actionable words and Defamations have I patiently swallowed, even in the flower of all my interest and power? How many Leases and Bargains have I released upon the other parties own pretence of having too hard a pennyworth? Have I fallen into passion at the newes of great Losses? Of whom have I bought a Debenture under the Market rate? Who ever gave more for the like Debentures? To how many have I given above, to prevent scandal? Whose Birth-right have I bought for a Mess of Pottage? Whom have I made a Delinquent (to get his Land?) To such as had forfeited but upon a Nicitie; have I not given time to free their Estate? How many have I relieved, whose Lands have been set out unto me, even before I ever received penny profit? Have I taken advantage of those that by mistake have built upon my Land? Have I been fierce in requiring my Rents? ​Have I not Lett all at under rates? and to English at one fourth part less then to Irish; and promised abatement of rent to such Papists as will come to Church? Did I make waste upon the Land or Woods that were now intended to be torn from me? Have I been clamorous or solicitous to be spared in publique Rates or Assessments? Let in brief, any demonstration of sordidness or covetousness, other then that of my activity and industry in my Calling, be produced against me.
As for my pride and ambition; Did I affect a long train of Servants, or Suitors? Did I seek the employments put upon me, otherwise then to be discharged of them? Did I use to Jack and Tom the great men, affect giving or receiving entertainments from them, to hold forth and insinuate my equality with them? When Knighthoods were in fashion, and obtainable (and when my partners and such as were ranked with me, and others whom the world thought below me in dignity and estate, did not refuse that Honour) did I make any way for it? Was the Magnificence of my House-furniture, Attendance, Aparel, &c. arguments of my ​taking State? did I decline any honest worthy person of mine old acquaintance? Was not I the common Advocate and Intercessor for those with whom others scorned to talk? Was my pride seen otherwise then in checking the pride of others? Did I ever make any man wait, whilst I was eating, drinking, or recreating my self? How easily did I give place to all that valued it? even to such as were not my Superiors, even by birth, but every way else my Inferiors: What did I aim at but to retire to my private industry, and to exercise my self in contrivances, for the publique and my own profit, and to spend that in Planting, which I had gotten in Surveighing the Land? Did I ever attempt to be eminent in any Faction? Did I ever study the subversion of any settlement, or the like?
As to Injustice, 'Twas never charged on me, in reference to matters of Right between man and man, or otherwise, then as for being too favourable to my self; But now, even as to this, Have I more Lands or better then the generality of other Traders bought for the like money? Have I so much Land by 4000l. worth? ​Did I buy Land without leave; even when I had no need to ask it, otherwise then to avoid offence, and to prevent the barking of all but the ignorant: Did I ask a pawn for my just Debt better then the Debt it self? Did I take that pawn from those that did not owe me the Money? Had I any other course whereby to secure my right? Did I not proceed in the most legal Way that the nature of the thing would then admit? Did not I contrive to spare the Purses of my Debtors, in accepting that for my security which was of no use to them; with Condition to restore it assoon as they could make use of any thing I so possest? Have I more for my three years slavery then the nature of such a work deserves? Have I any thing? Have I had my due (as one concerned in arrears) equally with such as had no interest with any person in authority? Have I not offered Expedient upon Expedient, even to content the humours of my peevish Adversaries? and have they not refused them all, to the admiration of all indifferent persons? without any other imaginable reason, then to bring me to be tryed before some Judges ​whom they thinking to be full of wrath and revenge, would be glad to poure it all out upon me.
As to Fraud so often, and so Tautologically repeated in Sir Hieromss Articles: Did I ever alter a title in any Originall Survey, or Field Book, to gratifie the Irish Proprietors, who were alwayes forward with Bribes to tempt me to such practices? When the State did (in a most dangerous way of frugality) refuse to have Copies made of the Surveyes, I gave in (by reason whereof I might have gotten their onely Copy into my own hands, in order to the distribution) was I not at near unto a 100l. charge, to make such a Transcript as served for the said distribution? the other being thereby saved from destruction; which even the too often handling and turning of it would have caused; so as it is kept in the Exchequer for a Check: Could I not, having gotten that onely Copy, have abused it, in order to manifold frauds and evill practises? Who but my self propounded or was Earnest to get a Duplicate of all Debentures into the Office for setting out Lands? without which, we might have ​satisfied Debentures twice or three times over, without the least just blame; we might have suffered stolen Debentures satisfied, Anno 1653. and 1655. to be served all over in 1656. We might have forged or altered Debentures, making six to be sixty, &c. and might have glued Papers on part satisfactions endorsed: How easie had it been to have altered the Lists of Debentures, after Lots for priority, and the strings of Denominations were agreed upon? thereby to have given what we had pleased unto each, or by the fraudulent casting of a Lot, to have wedged in Debentures between what Lots we had pleased; and consequently to have made the Lots fall out at pleasure, In order whereunto, How many Legerdemain tricks might we have practised in casting of Lots? as in a double bottom'd hat, or by privily mark't Lots: or by instructing some craftie Childe out of what part of an Hats lining to take each Lot; Or by making many Lots, all for one and the same thing, &c. None of all which, and many more abominable Artifices and Legerdemanes had ever footing in our Office; For ​preventing even the suspition whereof, did I my self ever purchase any Land but in my own name? Had I ever Partnership with any? Did I meddle until the Body of the Army was satisfied? Did I not capitulate with the Council to have my Land by Election, thereby to exalt my self above the possibility or need of cheating in the least? What advantage was it to me to have fraudently with-held Lands as dubious, since I might have chosen out of the whole lump? What fraud could I use to force men to sell me their Debentures? For if they had the Market rate they had no wrong, nor could I force them to take less: For when men had once sold either for more or for less, I had no further power over them, nor had they any further hopes or fears of me: I could onely gratifie them who kept their Debentures: If the Market rate were not sufficient for Debentures, it was none of my fault, that the whole world of Traders in them conspired to deceive themselves: Again, Did I ever use frauds in taking or entering the sense of the Council, whilst I was their Clerk? Did I ever put in or put out a word without their ​leave? Did the Lord Deputy ever detect me counterfeiting his hand, or putting his Seal without his Order? or otherwise abusing his favour and authority; Many of which juggles I could more easily have managed; then those gross dis-ingenious Fooleries whereof I am accused.
Moreover, why should I not be as faithful to one trust as to another? For my Lord Fleetwood in his three years dayly observation of me, found nothing unworthy of that clear favour wherein he left me; nor hath his Lordship ever found any proof, for those unchristian Whispers of my being a treacherous Incendiary between him and his Brother; I having always bin, according to my pretensions, faithful to each of them, alwayes labouring for peace and good correspondency between them both; It is probable I was more concerned for the Lord Henry Cromwel, for that he was so careful of me, as that no clamour, whisper, or other trinckling, in eight moneths time of my absence could induce him to sacrifice me to secret rage and malice; In gratitude and acknowledgment thereof; who hath ​adhered to him more close then I have done? I voluntarily first engaged in his affairs, when they seemed even to himself very cloudy, And when he was either deprived of, or deserted by his other friends and instruments. Who hath fawned less upon the thriving party? Who has made fewer staggers in his profession for one or t'other Faction? Did I ever betray any secret? Have I sold one friend to buy another? Or done ugly things with one Man, to ingratiate my self with another, his enemy? If these things be true in matters of greatest Consequence; how likely is it, that I have basely broken my trust in matters which I contemn, such as I have no need of, and by which I have not really encreased my Estate or interest?
Who in the place and credit I was once in, with so powerful a person as the said Lord Lieutenant formerly was, would not by a closer adherence to some party, have built himselfe a larger interest, then I did? And (not despising the thanks of such as had good Lots) have trusted to my bare innocency, against the frowns of them that had bad: Who would not have bent all proceedings ​to have made sure of one party; rather then by a consciencious impartiality, to be grownd between many? Did I exorbitantly claw with those Preachers, in whom his Lordship placed much of his interest? or use any incivility (much less hardship or injustice) towards the Sectarian contrary interest? having equally in my Ministerial capacity serv'd both. Did I not leave this Chefs play of parties to other Gamesters? being my self content with the love and good opinion of a few rationall, learned, good natured, fair-dealing, and universally religious Friends, with whom I shall never suffer; nor with any that have long and intimately known me: Where also by the way, I pray ask whether Sir Thomas Herbert my partner in the Councell businesse, Mr. Gookin, Major Symner, and M. King, my fellow Commissioners in that Fountain of Odium, The setting out Lands; Or whether those Clerks or Instruments of most ancient standing in my severall employments, and such upon whose Lives and Conversations there has been no stain, do or have spoken ill of me and my Administrations? although the stream ​and torrent of the Sequacious multitude seemed able to have carried them that way.
Moreover, let the Lord Lieutenant be asked whether, I ever went about to injure or lessen by Word or Deed, those whom he knew to hate me? Whether I was busie to bring him Tales to the prejudice of any man? or build up my interest in him, by acquainting him with the rash Obloquies of bitter Spirits; provided they tended not to some dangerous action, which timely discovery might prevent.
I come lastly to matters of Religion, and ask; Whether I have not been unreasonably injured, by being accompted sometimes a Jesuit, sometimes a Socinian, and sometimes an Atheist? What similitude is between these three, that I should be esteemed indifferently either? Why one of these three? but because the best is very odious; Why do they magnifie my Craft in small matters of the world, and yet make me the most stupid fool in matters of my Soul? As in being an Atheist, In believing that the most curious bodies of Animal (to say nothing of ​other things which they know I have well considered were) made by chance; and that the inimitable and unsearchable generation of them is also by chance.
Is it not necessary that I should believe the World was either made of nothing, or that it is eternal? Either of which Positions is unfathomable by reason, and onely comprehensible by Faith; Why then should I think, since some seeming Impossibilities must be taken upon Faith only: That the other less difficult points may not? And why should I not think, That much must rest upon Faith? who have for these many years (and more then most men) complained of the insufficiency of Reason, and of the uncertainty and treachery of the very Senses. Well, I have so much Religion and Faith, as to believe that Almighty God can and will clense, and draw forth this poyson of Asps which is under the lips and tongues of the malicious.
Moreover, whom have I seduced to my Errors? Whose Opinions do I prosecute? What Conscientious Superstitionary have I mocked? To whom do I not preach love to God, faith in Christ, ​Charity and Righteousness to our Neighbours, Obedience to our Superiours, Temperance as to our selves, &c? Am I irreligious, because I do not fall down before the little talking Images of Clay? or because I do not seek to intoxicate other weak brains with the vapour of my own? by perswading them that the fumes of my bodily humours are the Emanations of Gods Spirit, &c. I think my selfe too knowing to be abused by such affected whimseyes; and will approve my self too honest to abuse others with the like.
As Divinity is a Science, I am above learning it, from many that think they could teach me; and as Faith and Sanctification are the Gifts of the Spirit, I must not seek them from Men: I have Trades and faculties usefull for Mankind, by which I can get my bread; I will not seek Superfluities by Encroachments and Interlopings dishonourable to God: I had rather learn and labour to get my own living, then by lying and loytering under the name of Preaching, to be a drone on other Mens. This was the Religion of Adam, Enoch, Abraham, and Job, This Moses delivered, though with the ​dition of some Rites and Ceremonies fitted to one particular people the Jews. This our Saviour preaches and strongly inforces in his Sermon upon the Mount. This consists with that infinite and universal mercy which we believe God intends to all Man-kind; In the hearty and unseigned practice of this I hope to dye: I will kill no man, nor break any other Commandement written with Gods own finger, to advance the practice of Dipping above Sprinkling, much less to assert or pull down other Speculations. I say, in brief, No man received good or bad at my hands, by reason of the reall and internal perswasion of his Conscience. As for those whom I have demonstrated to be Hypocrites, proud Pharisees, Ananiasses, following Christ for Loaves, &c. I do in my private capacity scorn and loath them: nor shall I stick to make them ashamed, if by any facetious derision of them, in due time and place, I could do it; although I can say, that my practice of this kind hitherto, hath and shall be as rare as Eclipses, Blazing Stars, or Earth-quakes; I having now exprest more honest simplicity in owning this Liberty, ​then ever I did delight to make use of it.
Sir, I am not frequent in thus seeming to boast; 'tis the first time I have opened my self in this kind; I do not use to send the World a making Interrogatories (as above mentioned) such as I suppose, must be answered to my advantage; But those clamours and aspersions have called me to it, I could have been contented with the inward soft musick of a clear Conscience; without this unpleasant trumpeting of my self; but the vindication and concernment of others, who knowing me, have undertaken for me, have forced me to it. Nam qui Conscientiæ suæ fidens negligit famam, crudelis est amicis; among whom, I reckon you not the least, not the newest; I am sorry that great part of this Letter is but Allegations, not severally proved Truths; But let me remember you again; That I have employed my late leasure to compile a large Volume, wherein what is here wanting is abundantly supplyed. In the mean time, believe; that he who knows but how to make such Allegations, and to frame such a Contexture of ​likely lies, must have been besotted and Drunk, with Avarice and Pride, &c. if he have fallen Into the enormities by Sir Hierome and his Squire Worsly complained of; or if the stink which they smell, proceeds not from Ulcers in their own Noses, and the foulness of their own mouthes.