# On the Stage—and Off/Chapter 6

Chapter VI.
Scenery and Supers.
We had five rehearsals for this play.
"What the dickens do they want with so many?" was the indignant comment of the First Old Woman. "Why, they'll rehearse it more times than they'll play it."
I thought five a ridiculously small number at the time, especially when I remembered my amateur days, and the thirty or so rehearsals, nearly all full-dress ones, required for a short farce; but there came a time when I looked upon two as betokening extraordinary anxiety about a production. In the provinces, I have known a three-act comedy put on without any rehearsal at all, and with half the people not even knowing the patter. "Business" was arranged in whispered consultations, while the play was proceeding, and when things got into a more than usually glorious muddle, one or other of the characters would come off the stage and have a look at the book. As for the prompter, after vainly struggling to keep them to one act at a time, and to dissuade the hero from making love to the wrong girl, he came to the conclusion that he was only in the way, and so went and had ​a quiet pipe at the stage-door, and refrained from worrying himself further.
The rehearsals got more ship-shape as we went on. At the fourth, every one was supposed to be "letter perfect," and "parts" were tabooed. On this occasion, the piece was played straight through with nothing omitted, and the orchestra (two fiddles, a bass-viol, cornet, and drum) appeared in full force. For the last rehearsal, props and scenery were called. We had an exciting time with Jim, over the scenery, as might be expected. He had a row with everybody, and enjoyed himself immensely.
I saw our scene painter then for the first time. He was a jolly little fellow, and as full of cheery contrivance as a Mark Tapley. No difficulties seemed to daunt him. If a court of justice were wanted for the following night, and the nearest thing ⟨he⟩ had to it were a bar parlour, he was not in the ⟨least⟩ dismayed. He would have the bar parlour down; paint in a bit here; paint out a bit there; ⟨touch⟩ up a bit somewhere else—there was your court of justice! Half an hour was quite long enough for him to turn a hay-field into a churchyard, ⟨or⟩ a prison into a bedroom.
⟨There⟩ was only one want, in the present case, that he didn't supply, and that was cottages. All the virtuous people in the play lived in cottages. I never saw such a run on cottages. There were plenty ⟨of⟩ other residences to which they would have ⟨been⟩ welcome—halls, palaces, and dungeons, ​the saloon cabin of a P. and O. steamer, drawing-room of No. 200, Belgrave Square (a really magnificent apartment this, with a clock on the mantelpiece). But no, they would all of ⟨them⟩ live in cottages. It would not pay to alter ⟨three⟩ or four different scenes, and turn them all ⟨into⟩ cottages, especially as they might, likely enough, be wanted for something else in a week's ⟨time⟩; so our one cottage interior had to accommodate about four distinct families. To keep up appearances, however, it was called by a different name on each occasion. With a round table and a ⟨candle⟩, it was a widow's cottage. With two candles and a gun, it was the blacksmith's house. A ⟨square⟩ table instead of a round one—" Daddy ⟨Soloman's⟩ home on the road to London. 'Home, sweet ⟨home⟩,'" Put a spade in the corner, and hang a coat behind the door, and you had the old mill on the Yorkshire moors.
It was all no use though. The audience, on the opening night, greeted its second appearance with cries of kindly recognition, and at once entered into the humour of the thing. A ⟨Surrey⟩-side Saturday-night audience are generally ⟨inclined⟩ to be cheerful, and, if the fun on the stage doesn't satisfy them, they rely on their own ⟨resources⟩. After one or two more appearances, the cottage became an established favourite with the gallery. So much so, indeed, that when two scenes passed without its being let down, there were ⟨many⟩ and anxious inquiries after it, and an earnest ⟨hope⟩ ex​pressed that nothing serious had happened to it. Its reappearance in the next act (as something entirely new) was greeted with a round of applause, and a triumphant demand to know, "Who said it was lost?"
It was not until the last rehearsal, that the supers were brought into play—or work, as they would have called it. These supers were drawn from two distinct sources. About half of them were soldiers, engaged to represent the military force of the drama, while the other half, who were to be desperate rioters, had been selected from among the gentry of the New Cut neighbourhood.
The soldiers, who came under the command of their sergeant, were by far the best thing in the play. They gave an air of reality to all the scenes in which they appeared. They were soldiers, and went about their business on the stage with the same calm precision that they would have displayed in the drill yard, and with as much seriousness as if they had been in actual earnest. When the order was given to "fix bayonets and charge," they did so with such grim determination, that there was no necessity at all to direct the stage mob to "feign fear and rush off L. 1. E." They went as one man, in a hurry. There was no trouble, either, about rehearsing the soldiers—no cursing and swearing required, which, in itself, was an immense saving of time. The stage manager told the sergeant what was wanted. That gruff-voiced officer passed the order on to his men ​(first translating it into his own unintelligible lingo), and the thing was done.
To represent soldiers on the stage, real soldiers should, without doubt, be employed, but it is no good attempting to use them for anything else. They are soldier-like in everything they do. You may dress them up in what you choose, and call them what you will, but they will never be anything else but soldiers. On one occasion, our manager tried them as a rabble. They were carefully instructed how to behave. They were told how to rush wildly on with a fierce, tumultuous yell; how to crowd together at the back of the stage, and, standing there, surging backwards and forwards like an angry sea, brandish their weapons, and scowl menacingly upon the opposing myrmidons of the law, until, at length, their sullen murmurs deepening into a roar of savage hate, they would break upon the wall of steel before them, and sweep it from their path, as pent-up waters, bursting their bonds, bear down some puny barrier.
That was the theory of the thing. That is how a stage mob ought to behave itself. How it really does behave itself is pretty generally known. It comes in with a jog-trot, every member of it prodding the man in front of him in the small of his back. It spreads itself out in a line across the stage, and grins. When the signal is given for the rush, each man—still grinning—walks up to the soldier nearest to him, and lays hold of that war​rior's gun. The two men then proceed to heave the murderous weapon slowly up and down, as if it were a pump handle. This they continue to do with steady perseverance, until the soldier, apparently from a fit of apoplexy—for there is no outward and visible cause whatever to account for it—suddenly collapses, when the conquering rioter takes the gun away from him, and entangles himself in it.
This is funny enough, but our soldiers made it funnier still One might just as well have tried to get a modern House of Commons to represent a disorderly rabble. They simply couldn't do it. They went on in single file at the double quick, formed themselves into a hollow square in the centre of the stage, and then gave three distinct cheers, taking time from the sergeant. That was their notion of a rabble.
The other set, the regular bob (sometimes eighteenpence) a-night "sūps," were of a very different character. Professional supers, taken as a class, are the most utterly dismal specimens of humanity to be met with in this world. Compared with them, "sandwich-men" are dashing and tollicky. Ours were no exception to the rule. They hung about in a little group by themselves, and looked such a picture of dejected dinginess, that their mere presence had a depressing effect upon everybody else. Strange that men can't be gay and light-hearted on an income of six shillings a week, but so it is.
​One of them I must exclude from this description—a certain harmless idiot, who went by the title of "Mad Mat," though he himself always gave his name as "Mr. Matthew Alexander St. George Clement."
This poor fellow had been a super for a good many years, but there had evidently been a time when he had played a very different part in life. "Gentleman" was stamped very plainly upon his thin face, and where he was not crazy, he showed thought and education. Rumour said that he had started life as a young actor, full of promise and talent, but what had sent him mad nobody knew. The ladies naturally attributed it to love, it being a fixed tenet among the fair sex that everything that happens to mankind, from finding themselves in bed with their boots on to having the water cut off, is all owing to that tender passion. On the other hand the uncharitable—generally a majority—suggested drink. But nobody did anything more than conjecture: nobody really knew. The link between the prologue and the play was lost. Mat himself was under the firm conviction that he was a great actor, who was only kept from appearing in the leading rôles by professional jealousy. But a time would come, and then he would show us what he could do. Romeo was his great ambition. One of these days he meant to act that character. He had been studying it for years, he once whispered me in confidence, and when he appeared in it, he knew he should make a sensation.
​Strange to say, his madness did not interfere at all with his superial duties. While on the stage, he was docile enough, and did just as he saw the other supers do. It was only off the stage that he put on his comically pathetic dignity; then, if the super-master attempted to tell him what to do, he would make a ceremonious bow, and observe, with some hauteur, that Mr. St. George Clement was not accustomed to be instructed how to act his part. He never mixed with the other supers, but would stand apart, talking low to himself, and seeming to see something a long way off. He was the butt of the whole theatre, and his half-timid, half-pompous ways afforded us a good deal of merriment; but sometimes there was such a sad look in Mat's white face, that it made one's heart ache more than one's sides.
His strange figure and vague history haunted my thoughts in a most uncomfortable manner. I used to think of the time when those poor vacant eyes looked out upon the world, full of hope and ambition, and then I wondered if I should ever become a harmless idiot, who thought himself a great actor.