# A Few Moments with Eddie Cantor

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An American short sound film featuring Eddie Cantor, with stand-up comedy, verse, and singing. Being from 1923, this is one of the earliest examples of a "talkie" (film with synchronized speaking) in existence.
| Song | Performer |
| "The Dumber They Come, the Better I Like 'Em" | Eddie Cantor |
| "Oh, Gee, Georgie" | Eddie Cantor |
Cast and Crew :
| Cast ||
| Role | Actor |
| | Eddie Cantor |
| Crew ||
| Director | Lee de Forest (d. 1961) |
| Producer | Lee de Forest |
| Composer | George Olsen (d. 1971) |
| Based on available information, the latest crew member that is relevant to international copyright laws died in 1971, meaning that this film may be in the public domain in countries and jurisdictions with 53 years p.m.a. or less, as well as in the United States. ||
De Forest
Phonofilms
PRESENT
A Few Moments
with
Eddie Cantor
Star of
"Kid Boots"
DE FOREST-CASE PATENTS
Eddie Cantor
Hello. Oh, no. No, lady. No, you're wrong. I'm not Tommy Meehan. Funny how everybody takes me for Tommy Meehan. No, Tommy hasn't got that certain...you know, that I have.
But it's a funny thing, for a man that's good looking as I am, I get the homeliest girls! I just cancelled a girl of mine, yes. Homely? Ha! You've heard about people's faces being wrinkled? Hers was ⟨accordion-pleated⟩.
And she had a very, very nice family, of course they had a lot of hard luck. Yes, her poor father, he died of throat trouble. They hung him. And her brother—lovely chap, but he's gone, poor fella—with good behavior, he ought to be out in 1927 or '8. You know, he used to work at a bank. But no matter how much the boss likes you, you can't work at a bank and bring home samples. Oh, no.
And she was a nice girl. I didn't mind her being homely, but she was so dumb, terribly dumb! Well, there was she was so dumb, they had to burn down the schoolhouse to get her out of the second grade. Can't beat that.
Well, enough about her. I think I'll recite. That's it, I feel poetical.
Audience lady Ahahahahaha!
Eddie Cantor Thank you. I knew you'd like it. Now I think I'll sing. It's the safest thing for me to do. Mr. Olsen, would you play something for Eddie? Do that, will you?
Eddie Cantor
Eddie Cantor
I deserve it. I'll bet you feel I was all through. No such luck. I must finish this.
Oh, before I forget, yesterday I went down to the Pennsylvania Railroad Station to wait for a train for Philadelphia. And, standing alongside of me—right in the little place where you make the trains for Philadelphia—was a Jewish man and a little boy. And it seemed that this boy must have aggravated his father, because his father kept hitting him! He kept saying to him, "I could give it to you for the second time."
Finally a man passed and said, "Cut that out, Mister. Don't you hit that boy again, or I'll make trouble for you, hear that? I'll make trouble for you." This fella turned around and said, "You're gonna make trouble for me? Last week my wife ran away with a janitor, yesterday I failed in business, my baby's got measles, and he swallowed the tickets to Philadelphia, and you're gonna make trouble for me?"
You seemed to like the story so well, I think I'll tell you another story, of a gentleman of Hebraic faith. Last year, the week before Christmas—you remember, we had the week before Christmas last year—I was going on the train from Chicago to San Francisco, on the Overland Limited—that's an express train that goes directly from Chicago to San Francisco.
And the first day out, seated alongside of me, was this little fella who kept moaning to himself, like this: "Ohh!" And the next day out he repeated the same thing and says: "Ohh!" And when he did it the third day, I went over to him—I said, "Mister, please excuse me for butting in, but I want to help you. Tell me, why—why do you keep moaning like that?" He says "Oh, it's already the third day I'm on the wrong train. Agh!"
Well, I think I'll sing again now. It won't hurt. Mr. Olsen, again, won't you play a little something for Eddie?
Eddie Cantor
This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was published before January 1, 1930.
The longest-living author of this work died in 1961, so this work is in the public domain in countries and areas where the copyright term is the author's life plus 63 years or less. This work may be in the public domain in countries and areas with longer native copyright terms that apply the rule of the shorter term to foreign works.
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