# Charles O'Malley; the Irish Dragoon (Rackham, 1897)/Chapter 10

Chapter X
The Election
The important morning at length arrived, and, as I looked from my bedroom window at daybreak, the crowd of carriages of all sorts and shapes decorated with banners and placards; the incessant bustle; the hurrying hither and thither; the cheering-as each new detachment of voters came up, mounted on jaunting cars or on horses, whose whole caparison consisted in a straw rope for a bridle, and a saddle of the same frail material; all informed me that the election-day was come. I lost no further time, but proceeded to dress with all possible despatch. When I appeared in the breakfast-room, it was already filled with some seventy or eighty persons of all ranks and ages, mingled confusedly together, and enjoying the hospitable fare of my uncle’s house, while they discussed all the details and prospects of the election. In the hall—the library—the large drawing-room too, similar parties were also assembled, and, as new-comers arrived, the servants were busy in preparing tables before the door and up the large terrace that ran the entire length of the building. Nothing could be more amusing than ​the incongruous mixture of the guests, who with every variety of eatable that chance or inclination provided, were thus thrown into close contact, having only this in common, the success of the cause they were engaged in. Here was the old Galway squire, with an ancestry that reached to Noah, sitting side by side with the poor cottier, whose whole earthly possession was what, in Irish phrase, is called a “potato garden,” meaning the exactly smallest possible patch of ground out of which a very india-rubber conscience could presume to vote. Here sat the old simple-minded farmer-like man, in close conversation with a little white-foreheaded, keen-eyed personage, in a black coat and eyeglass—a flash attorney from Dublin, learned in flaws of the registry, and deep in the subtleties of election law. There was an Athlone horse-dealer, whose daily habitual practices in imposing the halt, the lame, and the blind, upon the unsuspecting, for beasts of blood and mettle, well qualified him for the trickery of a county contest. Then there were scores of squireen gentry, easily recognised on common occasions by a green coat with brass buttons, dirty cords, and dirtier top-boots, a lash-whip, and a half-bred foxhound; but now, fresh washed for the day, they presented something of the appearance of a swell mob, adjusted to the meridian of Galway. A mass of frieze-coated, brown-faced, bullet-headed peasantry filling up the large spaces, dotted here and there with a sleek, roguish-eyed priest, or some low electioneering agent, detailing, for the amusement of the country, some of those cunning practices of former times, which, if known to the proper authorities, would, in all likelihood, cause the talented narrator to he improving the soil of Sydney, or fishing on the banks of the Swan River, while at the head and foot of each table sat some personal friend of my uncle, whose ready tongue, and still readier pistol, made him a person of some consequence, not more to his own people than to the enemy. While of such material were the company, the fare before them was no less varied: here some rubicund squire was deep in amalgamating the contents of a venison pasty with some of Sneyd’s oldest claret; his neighbour, less ambitious and less erudite in such matters, was devouring rashers of bacon, with liberal potions of poteen; some pale-cheeked scion of the law, with all the dust of the Four Courts in his throat, was sipping his humble beverage of black tea, beside four sturdy cattle-dealers, from Ballinasloe, who were discussing hot whisky-punch and spoleaion (boiled beef) at the very primitive hour of eight in the morning. Amid the clank of decanters, the crash of knives and plates, the jingling of glasses, the laughter and voices of the guests were audibly increasing, and the various modes of “running a buck” (anglicè, substituting a vote), or hunting a badger, were talked over on all sides, while the price of a veal (a calf) or a voter was disputed with all the energy of debate.
Refusing many an offered place, I went through the different rooms in search of Considine, to whom circumstances of late had somehow greatly attached me.
“Here, Charley,” cried a voice I was very familiar with; “here’s a place I’ve been keeping for you.”
“Ah, Sir Harry, how do you do? Any of that grouse-pie to spare?”
​“Abundance, my boy; but I’m afraid I can’t say as much for the liquor: I have been shouting for claret this half-hour in vain—do get us some nutriment down here, and the Lord will reward you. What a pity it is,” he added in a lower tone to his neighbour,—“what a pity a quart bottle won’t hold a quart; but I’ll bring it before the House one of these days,” That he kept his word in this respect, a motion on the books of the Houourable House will bear me witness.
“Is this it?” said he, turning towards a farmer-like old man, who had put some question to him across the table; “is it the apple-pie you’ll have?”
“Many thanks to your honour—I’d like it, av it was wholesome.”
“And why shouldn’t it be wholesome?” said Sir Harry.
“Troth, then, myself does not know:; but my father, I heerd tell, died of an apple-plexy, and I’m afeerd of it.”
I at length found Considine, and learned that, as a very good account of Bodkin had arrived, there was no reason why I should not proceed to the hustings; but I was secretly charged not to take any prominent part in the day’s proceedings. My uncle I only saw for an instant :—he begged me to be careful, avoid all scrapes, and not to quit Considine. It was past ten o’clock when our formidable procession got under way, and headed towards the town of Galway. The road was for miles crowded with our followers; banners flying and music playing, we presented something of the spectacle of a very ragged army on its march. At every cross-road a mountain-path reinforcement awaited us, and, as we wended along, our numbers were momentarily increasing: here and there along the line some energetic and not over-sober adherent was regaling his auditory with a speech in laudation of the O’Malleys since the days of Moses, and more than one priest was heard threatening the terrors of his Church in aid of a cause to whose success he was pledged and bound. I rode beside the Count, who, surrounded by a group of choice spirits, recounted the various happy inventions by which he had, on divers occasions, substituted a personal quarrel for a contest. Boyle also contributed his share of election anecdote, and one incident he related, which, I remember, amused me much at the time.
“Do you remember Billy Calvert that came down to contest Kilkenny?” inquired Sir Harry.
“What! ever forget him!” said Considine, “with his well-powdered wig, and his hessians, There never was his equal for lace ruffles nor rings.
“You never heard, maybe, how he lost the election?”
“He resigned, I believe, or something of that sort.”
“No, no,” said another; “he never came forward at all: there’s some secret in it, for Tom Butler was elected without a contest,”
“Jack, I’ll tell you how it happened. I was on my way up from Cork, having finished my own business, and just carried the day, not without a push for it. When we reached—Lady Mary was with me—when we reached Kilkenny, the night before the election, I was not ten minutes in town till Butler heard of it, and sent off express to see me; I was at my dinner when the messenger came, and promised to go over when I’d done; but, faith, Tom didn’t wait, but came rushing upstairs himself, and dashed into the room in the greatest hurry.
​“‘Harry,’ says he, ‘I’m done for! the corporation of free smiths, that were always above bribery, having voted for myself and my father before, for four pound ten a man, won’t come forward under six guineas and whisky. Calvert has the money:—they know it-the devil a farthing we have; and we’ve been paying all our fellows that can’t read in Hennessy’s notes, and you know the bank’s broke this three weeks.’
“On he went, giving me a most disastrous picture of his cause, and concluded by asking if I could suggest anything under the circumstances.
“‘You couldn’t get a decent mob and clear the poll?’
“‘I am afraid not,’ said he despondingly,
“‘Then I don’t see what’s to be done: if you can’t pick a fight with himself—will he go out?’
“‘Lord knows; they say he’s so afraid of that, that it has prevented him coming down till the very day: but he is arrived now; he came in the evening, and is stopping at Walsh’s, in Patrick Street.’
“‘Then I’ll see what can be done,’ said I.
“‘Is that Calvert, the little man that blushes when the Lady Lieutenant speaks to him?’ said Lady Mary.
“‘The very man.’
“‘Would it be of any use to you if he could not come on the hnstings to-morrow?’ said she again.
“‘Twould gain us the day: half the voters don’t believe he’s here at all, and his chief agent cheated all the people on the last election, and if Calvert didn’t appear, be wouldn’t have ten votes to register. But why do you ask?’
“‘Why, that, if you like, I’ll bet you a pair of diamond earrings he shan’t show.’
“‘Done,’ said Butler, ‘and I promise a necklace into the bargain, if you win; but I’m afraid you’re only quizzing me.’
“‘Here’s my hand on it,’ said she; ‘and now let’s talk of something else.’
“As Lady Boyle never asked my assistance, and, as I knew she was very well able to perform whatever she undertook, you may be sure I gave myself very little trouble about the whole affair, and, when they came, I went off to breakfast with Tom’s committee, not knowing anything that was to be done.
“Calvert had given orders that he was to be called at eight o’clock, and so a few minutes before that time a gentle knock came to the door. ‘Come in,’ said he, thinking it was the waiter, and covering himself up in the clothes, for he was the most bashful creature ever was seen; ‘Come in.’
“The door opened and what was his horror to find that a lad: entered in her dressing-gown, her hair on her shoulders very much tossed and dishevelled. The moment she came in she closed the door and locked it, and then sat leisurely down upon a chair.
“Billy’s teeth chattered, and his limbs trembled, for this was an adventure of a very novel kind for him. At last he took courage to speak. ‘I am afraid, madam,’ said he, ‘that you are under some unhappy mistake, and that you suppose this chamber is——’ ​“‘Mr, Calvert’s,’ said the lady, with a solemn voice, ‘is it not?”
“‘Yes, madam, I am that person.’
“‘Thank God,’ said the lady, with a very impressive tone, ‘here I am safe.”
“Billy grew very much puzzled at these words; but, hoping that by his silence the lady would proceed to some explanation, he said no more. She, however, seemed to think that nothing further was necessary, and sat still and motionless, with her hands before her and her eyes fixed on Billy.
“‘You seem to forget me, sir,’ said she, with a faint smile.
“‘I do indeed, madam; the half light, the novelty of your costume, and the strangeness of the circumstance altogether, must plead for me—if I appear rude enough.’
“‘I am Lady Mary Boyle,’ said she.
“‘I do remember you, madam; but may I ask——?’
“‘Yes, yes, I know what you would ask: you would say, why are you here? how comes it that you have so far outstepped the propriety of which your whole life is an example, that alone at stitch a time you appear in the chamber of a man whose character for gallantry—’
“‘Oh, indeed—indeed, my lady, nothing of the kind.’
“‘Ah, alas! how poor defenceless women learn too late: how constantly associated is the retiring modesty which denies, with the pleasing powers which ensure success—’ Here she sobbed, Billy blushed, and the clock struck nine.
“‘May I then beg, madam——?’
“Yes, yes, you shall hear it all; but my poor scattered faculties will not be the clearer by your hurrying me. You know, perhaps,’ continued she, ‘that my maiden name was Rogers?’ He of the blankets bowed, and she resumed, ‘It is now eighteen years since that a young, unsuspecting, fond creature, reared in all the care and fondness of doting parents, tempted her first step in life, and trusted her fate to another’s keeping. I am that unhappy person ; the other, that monster in human guise that smiled but to betray, that won but to ruin and destroy, is he whom you know as Sir Harry Boyle.’ Here she sobbed for some minutes, wiped her eyes, and resumed her narrative, beginning at the period of her marriage, detailed a number of circumstauces, which poor Calvert, in all his anxiety to come au fond at matters, could never perceive bore, upon the question in any way; but, as she recounted them all with great force and precision, entreating him to bear in wind certain circumstances to which she would recur by-and-by, his attention was kept on the stretch, and it was only when the clock struck ten that he was fully aware how his morning was passing, and what surmises his absence might originate.
“‘May I interrupt you for a moment, dear madam; was it nine or ten o’clock which struck last?’
“‘How should I know?’ said she frantically; ‘what are hours and minutes to her who has passed long years of misery?’
“‘Very true, very true,’ replied he timidly, and rather fearing for the intellects of his fair companion.
“She continued.
“The narrative, however, so far from becoming clearer grew ​gradually more confused and intricate, and as frequent references were made by the lady to some previous statement, Calvert was more than once rebuked for forgetfulness and inattention, where, in reality, nothing less than shorthand could have borne him through.
“‘Was it in ninety-three I said that Sir Harry left me at Tuam?’
“‘Upon my life, madam, I am afraid to aver; but it strikes me——’
“‘Gracious powers! and this is he whom I fondly trusted to make the depositary of my woes—cruel, cruel man!’—Here she sobbed considerably for several minutes, and spoke not.
“A loud cheer of ‘Butler for ever!’ from the mob without now burst upon their hearing, and recalled poor Calvert at once to the thought that the hours were speeding fast, and no prospect of the everlasting tale coming to an end.
“‘I am deeply, most deeply grieved, my dear madam,’ said the little man, sitting up in a pyramid of blankets, ‘but hours, minutes, are most precious to me this morning. I am about to be proposed as Member for Kilkenny.’
“At these words the lady straightened her figure out, threw her arms at either side, and burst into a fit of laughter, which poor Calvert knew at once to be hysterics. Here was a pretty situation: the bell-rope lay against the opposite wall, and, even if it did not, would he be exactly warranted in pulling it?
“‘May the devil and all his angels take Sir Harry Boyle and his whole connection to the fifth generation!’ was his sincere prayer, as he sat like a Chinese juggler under his canopy.
“At length the violence of the paroxysm seemed to subside, the sobs became loss frequent, the kicking less forcible, and the lady’s eyes closed, and she appeared to have fallen asleep. ‘Now is the moment,’ said Billy: ’if I could only get as far as my dressing-gown.’ So saying he worked himself down noiselessly to the foot of his bed, looked fixedly at the fallen lids of the sleeping lady, and essayed one leg from the blankets. ‘Now or never,’ said he, pushing aside the curtain and preparing for a spring—one more look he east at his companion, and then leaped forth; but just as he lit upon the floor, she again roused herself, screaming with horror. Billy fell upon the bed, and, rolling himself in the bedclothes, vowed never to rise again till she was out of the visible horizon, ‘What is all this; what do you mean, sir?’ said the lady, reddening with indignation.
“‘Nothing, upon my soul, madam: it was only my dressing gown!’
“‘Your dressing-gown!’ said she, with an emphasis worthy of Siddons; ‘a likely story for Sir Harry to believe, sir! fie, fie, sir!’
“This last allusion seemed a settler; for the luckless Calvert heaved a profound sigh, and sunk down as if all hope had left him, ‘Butler for ever!’ roared the mob; ‘Calvert for ever!’ cried a boy’s voice from without; ‘Three groans for the runaway!’ answered this announcement; and every tender inquiry of ‘Where is he?’ was raised by some hundred mouths,
“‘Madam,’ said the almost frantic listener—‘madam, I must get up; I must dress, I beg of you to permit me.’
​“‘I have nothing to refuse, sir; alas! disdain has long been my only portion, Get up if you will.’
“‘But, said the astonished man, who was well-nigh deranged at the coolness of this reply, ‘but how am I to do so, if you sit there?”
“‘Sorry for any inconvenience I may cause you; but, in the crowded state of the hotel, I hope you see the impropriety of my walking about the passages in this costume?”
“‘And, great God! madam, why did you come out in it?’
“A cheer from the mob prevented her reply being audible. One o’clack tolled out from the great bell of the cathedral.
“‘There’s one o’clock, as I live!’
“‘I heard it,’ said the lady. _
“‘Tho shouts are increasing, What is that I hear? Butler is in? Gracious mercy! is the election over?’
“The lady stepped to the window, drew aside the curtain, and said, ‘Indeed, it would appear so; the mob are chairing Mr. Butler.’ [A deafening shout burst from the street.] ‘Perhaps you’d like to see the fun, so I’ll not detain you any longer. So good-bye, Mr. Calvert; and, as your breakfast will be cold, in all likeliheed, come down to No. 4, for Sir Harry’s a late man, and will be glad to see you.”