# The History of Donald and His Dog (Glasgow)/Shiver and Shakey

SHIVER AND SHAKEY.
All you who're fond, in spite of price, Nf pastries, ereams, and jellies nice, Be cautious how you take an ice, Whene'er you're over warm. A merchant who from India came, And shiver-and-Shakey was his name, A pastrycook did once entice, To take a cooling, luscious ice. The weather hot enough to kill, Kept tempting him to eat until It gave his corpus such a chill, He never again felt warm. Shiver-and-Shakey, O, O, O, Criminy crickey, isn't it cold? Woo, woo, woo, woo, oo, oo, oo, Behold the man that couldn't get warm.
Close to a blazing fire he got, And took to drinking brandy hot, And sent for doctors, such a lot, The man that couldn't get warm. We recommended chamois leather, Flannel, shoes of India-rubber, Mustard, chillis, and cayenne, But nothing seem'd to warm the man; And when the doctors took their fees, It chill'd their blood full twelve degrees, ​And really made their fingers freeze- The man that couldn't get warm. Shiver-and-Shakery, &c.
His room was hot enough to bake, Aud yet he still with cold did ache, Nay, made the servants shake and quake, The man that couldn't get warm. The nursery-maid, the scullion, cook, E'en John and Coachman shiver'd and shook, And all kept crying, night and morning, "Ye really must give master varning." What's worse, his wife began to pout, And left his house quite chilled no doubt, For it even frose his gardener out, The man that couldn't get warm, Shiver-and-Shakey, &c.
Then he with grief filled to the brim, Resolved to go abroad by steam, But not a ship would move with him, The man that couldn't get warm He went in the engine-room I'm told And gave the stoker sudden cold, Condensed the steam, which stopped the wheels, And gave the passengers the chills. The vessel ice-bound seemed, and so The captain shiv'ring from top to toe, Affirm'd on shore again must go, The man that couldn't get warm. Shivery-and-Shakery, O, O, O, I say, messmates, isn't it cold Woo, woo, &c.
The morning after he was drowned, While in a hot bath, and they found The water frozen all around The man that couldn't get warm. A jury proved it in a trice, He died of undigested ice— And then the foreman, Patrick Rice, The verdict gave, with this advice, "Och, have ice-cream whene'er you will, ​But do not eat them till you're ill, And always first take off the chill, And swallow your ices warm. Shiver-and-Shakery, &e.
THE CORK LEG
A Tale I now tell without any flam, In Holland dwelt Mynheer Von Clam, Who every morning said I am The richest merchant in Rotterdam, Ri too ral, &c.
One day he stuff'd him full as an egg, When a poor relation came to beg: But he kick'd him out without broaching a keg And in kicking him out he broke his right leg Ri too ral, &c.
Au artist in Rotterdam, 'twould seem, Had made cork legs his study and theme; Each joint was as strong as an iron beam The springs a compound of clockwork and steam Ri too ral, &c.
The leg was made and fitted right Inspection th' artist did invite: The fine shape gave Minheer great delight, As he fixed it on and screw'd it tight. Ri too ral, &c.
He walk'd through squares, and past each shop Of speed he went to the very top; Each step he took with a bound and a hop, But he found his leg he could not stop. Ri too ral, &c
Horror and fright were in his face, The neighbours thought he was running a race He clung to a post to stay its pace, But the leg, remorseless, kept up the chase Ri too ral, &c.
Then he call'd to some men with all his might; "Oh, stop this leg or I'm murdered quite," But though they heard him aid invite, In less than a minute he was out of sight. Ri too ral, &c.