# The History of the Adventures of Joseph Andrews and his Friend, Mr. Abraham Abrams/Book III, Chapter VIII

CHAPTER VIII.
_Which some readers will think too short and others too long._
Adams, and Joseph, who was no less enraged than his friend at the
treatment he met with, went out with their sticks in their hands, and
carried off Fanny, notwithstanding the opposition of the servants, who
did all, without proceeding to violence, in their power to detain them.
They walked as fast as they could, not so much from any apprehension of
being pursued as that Mr Adams might, by exercise, prevent any harm from
the water. The gentleman, who had given such orders to his servants
concerning Fanny that he did not in the least fear her getting away, no
sooner heard that she was gone, than he began to rave, and immediately
despatched several with orders either to bring her back or never return.
The poet, the player, and all but the dancing-master and doctor, went on
this errand.
The night was very dark in which our friends began their journey;
however, they made such expedition, that they soon arrived at an inn
which was at seven miles' distance. Here they unanimously consented to
pass the evening, Mr Adams being now as dry as he was before he had set
out on his embassy.
This inn, which indeed we might call an ale-house, had not the words,
The New Inn, been writ on the sign, afforded them no better provision
than bread and cheese and ale; on which, however, they made a very
comfortable meal; for hunger is better than a French cook.
They had no sooner supped, than Adams, returning thanks to the Almighty
for his food, declared he had eat his homely commons with much greater
satisfaction than his splendid dinner; and expressed great contempt for
the folly of mankind, who sacrificed their hopes of heaven to the
acquisition of vast wealth, since so much comfort was to be found in the
humblest state and the lowest provision. "Very true, sir," says a grave
man who sat smoaking his pipe by the fire, and who was a traveller as
well as himself. "I have often been as much surprized as you are, when I
consider the value which mankind in general set on riches, since every
day's experience shows us how little is in their power; for what,
indeed, truly desirable, can they bestow on us? Can they give beauty to
the deformed, strength to the weak, or health to the infirm? Surely if
they could we should not see so many ill-favoured faces haunting the
assemblies of the great, nor would such numbers of feeble wretches
languish in their coaches and palaces. No, not the wealth of a kingdom
can purchase any paint to dress pale Ugliness in the bloom of that young
maiden, nor any drugs to equip Disease with the vigour of that young
man. Do not riches bring us to solicitude instead of rest, envy instead
of affection, and danger instead of safety? Can they prolong their own
possession, or lengthen his days who enjoys them? So far otherwise, that
the sloth, the luxury, the care which attend them, shorten the lives of
millions, and bring them with pain and misery to an untimely grave.
Where, then, is their value if they can neither embellish nor strengthen
our forms, sweeten nor prolong our lives?--Again: Can they adorn the
mind more than the body? Do they not rather swell the heart with vanity,
puff up the cheeks with pride, shut our ears to every call of virtue,
and our bowels to every motive of compassion?" "Give me your hand,
brother," said Adams, in a rapture, "for I suppose you are a
clergyman."--"No, truly," answered the other (indeed, he was a priest of
the Church of Rome; but those who understand our laws will not wonder he
was not over-ready to own it).--"Whatever you are," cries Adams, "you
have spoken my sentiments: I believe I have preached every syllable of
your speech twenty times over; for it hath always appeared to me easier
for a cable-rope (which by the way is the true rendering of that word we
have translated camel) to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich
man to get into the kingdom of heaven."--"That, sir," said the other,
"will be easily granted you by divines, and is deplorably true; but as
the prospect of our good at a distance doth not so forcibly affect us,
it might be of some service to mankind to be made thoroughly
sensible--which I think they might be with very little serious
attention--that even the blessings of this world are not to be purchased
with riches; a doctrine, in my opinion, not only metaphysically, but, if
I may so say, mathematically demonstrable; and which I have been always
so perfectly convinced of that I have a contempt for nothing so much as
for gold." Adams now began a long discourse: but as most which he said
occurs among many authors who have treated this subject, I shall omit
inserting it. During its continuance Joseph and Fanny retired to rest,
and the host likewise left the room. When the English parson had
concluded, the Romish resumed the discourse, which he continued with
great bitterness and invective; and at last ended by desiring Adams to
lend him eighteen-pence to pay his reckoning; promising, if he never
paid him, he might be assured of his prayers. The good man answered that
eighteen-pence would be too little to carry him any very long journey;
that he had half a guinea in his pocket, which he would divide with him.
He then fell to searching his pockets, but could find no money; for
indeed the company with whom he dined had passed one jest upon him which
we did not then enumerate, and had picked his pocket of all that
treasure which he had so ostentatiously produced.
"Bless me!" cried Adams, "I have certainly lost it; I can never have
spent it. Sir, as I am a Christian, I had a whole half-guinea in my
pocket this morning, and have not now a single halfpenny of it left.
Sure the devil must have taken it from me!"--"Sir," answered the priest,
smiling, "you need make no excuses; if you are not willing to lend me
the money, I am contented."--"Sir," cries Adams, "if I had the greatest
sum in the world--aye, if I had ten pounds about me--I would bestow it
all to rescue any Christian from distress. I am more vexed at my loss on
your account than my own. Was ever anything so unlucky? Because I have
no money in my pocket I shall be suspected to be no Christian."--"I am
more unlucky," quoth the other, "if you are as generous as you say; for
really a crown would have made me happy, and conveyed me in plenty to
the place I am going, which is not above twenty miles off, and where I
can arrive by to-morrow night. I assure you I am not accustomed to
travel pennyless. I am but just arrived in England; and we were forced
by a storm in our passage to throw all we had overboard. I don't suspect
but this fellow will take my word for the trifle I owe him; but I hate
to appear so mean as to confess myself without a shilling to such
people; for these, and indeed too many others, know little difference in
their estimation between a beggar and a thief." However, he thought he
should deal better with the host that evening than the next morning: he
therefore resolved to set out immediately, notwithstanding the darkness;
and accordingly, as soon as the host returned, he communicated to him
the situation of his affairs; upon which the host, scratching his head,
answered, "Why, I do not know, master; if it be so, and you have no
money, I must trust, I think, though I had rather always have ready
money if I could; but, marry, you look like so honest a gentleman that I
don't fear your paying me if it was twenty times as much." The priest
made no reply, but, taking leave of him and Adams as fast as he could,
not without confusion, and perhaps with some distrust of Adams's
sincerity, departed.
He was no sooner gone than the host fell a-shaking his head, and
declared, if he had suspected the fellow had no money, he would not have
drawn him a single drop of drink, saying he despaired of ever seeing his
face again, for that he looked like a confounded rogue.
"Rabbit the fellow," cries he, "I thought, by his talking so much about
riches, that he had a hundred pounds at least in his pocket." Adams chid
him for his suspicions, which, he said, were not becoming a Christian;
and then, without reflecting on his loss, or considering how he himself
should depart in the morning, he retired to a very homely bed, as his
companions had before; however, health and fatigue gave them a sweeter
repose than is often in the power of velvet and down to bestow.