# Memoirs of the Twentieth Century/Moscow, Nov. 29, 1997

To the Lord High Treasurer, &c.
Mosco, Nov. 29, 1997.
My Lord,
IN my last of September 25, which carried my sincere Compliments on your happy Advancement, and being declar'd Prime Minister and Treasurer; sent you the fullest Accounts I was able of the State of Things here, and the good Condition they stand in, by our last Treaty of Commerce. This Court indeed, has not forgot the fatal Blow we gave their Naval Power in the Baltick formerly, and the great Restraint we keep them under ever since; yet, as they see there is no hope of bettering their Affairs, by living on ill Terms with us, they seem determin'd to try to gain upon us, by all the Friendship and Favour they can shew us in our Commerce here. I shall omit no Opportunity, to improve this good Inclination towards us according to my former Instructions, and your Lordship's Commands; and as this People are ​vastly improv'd every way, have made great advances in all polite Arts, as well as the learned Sciences, and are grown considerable in the World, by their Arms, Conquests and Riches; I doubt not but we shall find our Account, in keeping up a constant Intercourse of Friendship and Amity with them. The great Caravan for China went off Yesterday, with near twenty British Merchants in their Company, all provided with sufficient Pass-ports, and allowed the same Privileges with the Czar's Subjects; and I hope in time, to see this Branch of our Commerce turn to greater Account, than it has been represented to the Commissioners for Trade in London.
Your Lordship, who is so well acquainted with the vast Encroachments, this powerful Empire has made, on all her Neighbours round her, both on the side of Turky, Poland, Sweden and Persia, and how dangerous an Enemy, and useful a Friend she may prove, to the Affairs of Germany; can never want Inclination to tie the Czar to our Interests, by all ways and methods that in good Policy we can make use of.
All the crown'd Heads in Europe, except Sweden who is at War with them, have ​Envoys or Ambassadors constantly here to this end, tho' some of them, as France or Spain, have little or no Trade with them, and therefore your Lordship's Resolutions to keep a constant Resident here, which has been so much neglected of late Years, is certainly extreamly necessary. Your Informations of the great Influence the present Pope and his Jesuites have gain'd here, are but two well grounded, and I make no doubt, but in a little time, if they go on as they have of late Years, by bribing the leading Clergy and Nobility, by Places and Promises of Preferment, and by keeping up a constant Body of Missionaries to disperse their Opinions among the People and lower Clergy; but this Church and her Emperour and Patriarch, will be more obedient Sons to the triumphant Latin, than they were to the militant Greek Church.
I have nothing more to add to my last Dispatches, but to shew my Obedience to your Commands, in procuring you as exact an Account as I could, of the Affair which you say has made so much Noise in London, to wit, the Laplanders Sun-shine. It is certain then, my Lord, that this matter, which begun about twenty Years ago, near ​Novogorod, is spread to several Parts of Muscovy, and is likely to grow in Fashion at Court.
It took it's rise from the Knez Peter Kikin, who living near Novogorod, about the Year 1971, hir'd a Couple of Laplanders that were Brothers, for Servants. As their Master was fond of Gardening, and had got a Gardener from Moscow, he put one of these Laplanders to work there under him; and the Gardener often complaining of the Climate, the Fellow told him if his Master would give him Money to bear his Charges, he would bring him a Laplander that with his Assistance, would make Sunshine for him. This he averr'd so frequently and so positively, that at last it was told his Master; who after examining the Fellow, and knowing it was usual with the Laplanders to sell Winds, resolved to make a Trial of this Method, tho' new to him. In a Word, he sent and had the Person hir'd and brought from Lapland, who perform'd all that his Countryman and Assistant undertook for him, and even exceeeded his Masters fondest Imaginations. Tho' Novogorod lies in the Latitude of 56 Degrees, yet by the perpetual Sunshine these ​Creatures produc'd in his Gardens, he had in Time as Choice Peaches, Nectarines, Figs, and Grapes, nay Pine-apples (as I am assur'd) as could grow in France, at least in the more Northern Parts of it. Nay, he got some of the tenderest Plants and Flowers which before he never durst venture out of his Green-House till June, to thrive and flourish in the open Air from March till November; which is longer by much than they dare keep out their Orange Trees at Versailes.
This look'd so like a Fable, that I could scarce give it Credit, till I enquir'd of several Persons of the greatest Worth and Honour here, who all agreed in averring it to me; and that several Muscovite Noblemen had actually got Laplanders by the Means of this Fellow, who by their amazing Art of making Sunshine (for I know not what other Term to use) had as fine Gardens for choice Fruit, Flowers, and exotick Plants, as any Gentleman in the Neighbourhood of Paris. They nam'd at least a Dozen to me, that made Use of this wonderful Method, so that there was no Room to doubt of the Fact; and being resolv'd to give your Lordship the fullest Satisfaction I could, I set out ​the latter End of last Month, to see the Seat and Gardens of Knez John Petrowisky, who has two of the most famous Laplanders in all Muscovy.
I was receiv'd there with much Civility, he being prepar'd for my coming, and as the Knez spoke French very well, I enter'd into a long Dialogue with him on this surprizing Affair, of which I shall now relate to your Lordship the chief Particulars. The Laplanders are extremely reserv'd, in communicating the least Circumstance of their Art to any one; nor will they allow any Man, no not the least Child, to be in the Garden while they are about their Business, so that there was no talking to themselves upon it. The Knez told me that with great Difficulty he procur'd his Laplanders to leave their Country. That he was forc'd to allow them Cloaths, Brandy, Rain-Deers dry'd Flesh, and Marrow, (their favourite Dish) which he brings yearly from Lapland, besides Tobacco and ready Money, to the Value of at least 90 l. Sterl. by the Year. That there must alway be two of them, neither of which can perform the Operation alone, and that they will not leave their Country without bring​ing a Wife with each of them, so that it is extremely expensive to get them or keep them. They are also excessively humoursome, and will neither eat with others, or let any but their Wives dress their Food for them, and upon the least Ill-humour they will leave the Garden without Sunshine for several Days, nay a whole Week; but by that Time the Fit is generally over, and they fall to Work readily of themselves. That about three Years ago being disgusted for not having Rain-Deers Flesh in sufficient Plenty, they left his Gardens without Sun for near a Fortnight, in the midst of a terrible Season of Frost and Snow, and the Wind all that while in the North. That he had like thereby, to have lost most of his foreign Plants and Flowers, several of the tenderest of which actually died; and the rest had followed, but that he got his Laplanders in good Humour and recovered them, by giving them fine Weather for several Weeks, and pruning away all that was decay'd of them.
He told me his Men generally made three Acres of Sunshine in a Day, but that few others could come up to that, and many not over one or one and a half. That by ​their Contract they oblig'd themselves, to continue the Sunshine for seven Hours each Day, and when they were not lazy, would often give them eight or nine Hours; but in very foggy or rainy Weather, and especially, if accompany'd with great and high Winds, they would often toil for the whole Morning, without any tolerable Benefit. He said he had an hundred Times, seen them at Work from the Windows of his Apartment, and that they did all by the Beating of a Drum, and burning some particular Herbs, and especially wild Moss and Mint, and singing some odd Kind of Songs, which he knew not what to make of, but he believ'd they were no Psalms. He concluded with saying, that he would not prevent by an ill Description, the Pleasure of my seeing Things with my own Eyes, for if I would stay there that Night, I should survey every Thing next Morning, as soon as I pleas'd.
I very cheerfully accepted the Offer, and tho' I rose before it was clear Day-light, I was hardly dress'd till he call'd me into his Bed-Chamber, and plac'd me with him in the Window, to behold this astonishing Scene. There I saw at about a hundred Yards Distance the two Laplanders, who seem'd to ​be at their Prayers, for they were both on their Knees. He assur'd me they were every Morning, an Hour and an half before Sun-rise constantly employ'd thus, murmurring something in a low mournful growling Tone, (which I heard, tho' faintly from the Window,) and reeling their Bodies back and forwards, and often beating their Foreheads violently against the Ground. He told me that the Place in the Garden, was a little Circle in one of the Walks, which they had planted round with their own Hands with Sun Flowers, common Daffadills, Marygolds, and red Daisies; under the Roots of which, they had buried many Skeletons of several Kinds of Birds, and that they allow'd no Body by their good Will, to walk or sit down in it, and much less to dig or break the Ground.
In a little Time, I perceiv'd they begun to alter their Motions, and heard a Noise of a Flint and Steel in striking Fire, which he told me they were now busy about, and preparing their Moss and Herbs and stretching their Drum. In some Minutes I plainly saw it was so, by a little Smoak arising from a small Heap, they had made in the Garden Walk; and no sooner did the Smoak appear, but they both fell a singing with a ​low hoarse Voice, one of the vilest Songs for Words and Musick I had ever heard. One of them who held the Kannus or Drum, all the while beat on it, first low and softly, and then by Degrees louder and quicker, and again with all his Force, till at last a little Blaze began to appear; upon which they got on their Feet, stamping so violently on the Ground, that I could hear them to the Window, and dancing and singing as furiously, as if they had been distracted. They then fell to running in a Circle round the Fire, and still the Fellow who had no Drum threw something in the Flame; they seem'd to be Strings with Knotts on them, bawling lowder than ever, every Handful he cast on it, while the other still beat the Drum higher and fiercer.
This was all I could perceive they did, for above an Hour by my Watch, and then they both drop'd down beside the Fire, which went out of a suddain, and there they lay as if they were dead or asleep; and the Knez assured me the Operation was over, and bid me wait and see the Success. It was a dark cloudy Morning, as generally at that Time of the Year (the End of October) the Mornings are here, and as little Apperance of the ​Sun, as if it had not risen that Day; and yet in less than half a Quarter of an Hour, I perceived the Clouds break into a little small Aperture, as regularly as if one would draw the Curtains of a Bed, and a lovely Gleam of Sunshine burst on the Garden, as bright and as fair as if it had been in Summer. Immediately I perceived the Laplanders get up and rub themselves, as Men would do after a severe Sweat, and then they retired immediately out of the Garden, whither I went down with my Muscovite Landlord.
I was not a little amaz'd at the Novelty and Surprize of the Thing, and had no great Inclination to go into the Sunshine, which I look'd on as of the Devil's making, and could not help thinking of the Spanish Proverb of going out of God's Blessing into the warm Sun. But my Landlord laught at my Superstition so heartily, and pull'd me into it so merrily, that I was ashamed of my self. I look'd round me and surveyed the Ground on which the Sun smote with remarkable Warmth; and to the best of my Judgment I verily believe there were about three Acres thus enlightned, while all the rest of the Garden about them,as well as the whole Country, was ​covered with a dark misty Fog; and what amaz'd me above all, and convinc'd me there was something supernatural in the Matter, it continu'd so all the rest of the Day.
I spent some Time in it with my good Muscovite, who was very industriously shewing me his choicest Trees, Flowers, and exotick Plants, and telling me whence he had got them, and how well they throve with him; tho' I only answer'd him with a few Monosyllables now and then, so much was my Mind taken up, with what I had seen those Devils of Laplanders perform. He perceived my uneasiness, and tho' he laughed heartily at me, he was so civil as to take me into the House to breakfast with him. There I found his Lady and Family, who fell on talking as familiarly of their Laplanders, and how happy they were in them and their Sunshine, as if they had only been commending their dry Wood, and the Fire which was blazing finely in the Chimney.
I threw off my Surprize by Degrees as well as I could, and heard all their Discourse of the Laplanders and their Way of Living; and above all of their Drum and the Herbs they made use of, both which my ​Landlord undertook to steal me a Sight of, tho' there is nothing the Laplanders are so jealous of, as that any one should see or handle either, and above all their Kannus and the Hammer they beat it with. However, to oblige me he sent for the poor Creatures, and by giving them a great Cup of Brandy apiece, he got them to speak to me and served as Interpreter between us. But the Truth is, they were either so reserv'd, or so stupid, that I could learn nothing from them, but that their Names were Undo Marki, and Riconi Norki, and that their good Master had brought them out of their sweet Country, and gave them good Brandy, Money, Tobacco and dry'd Rain-deer, for making his Sunshine. I ask'd them how they made it, and they laugh'd just as a Dog grins, and said Kannus, Kannus, meaning their Drum, and that was all I could understand from these Deep Adepts in Sunshine, who in a little Time thought fit to retire, to sleep off their Brandy. They were low, swarthy, ill-looking Creatures, very lean, and stooped much, and hardly ever took off their Eyes from the Ground.
​In a little Time my good Muscovite followed them, and was not longaway, till he returned with a World of Joy in his Face, and their Herbs, Drum, and Hammer in his Hand, which he had stole from them while they were sleeping. I look'd at them and examined all very curiously. The Herbs seemed to be chiefly Mint, Rosemary, Lavender, and wild Thyme, mix'd with a good deal of Moss and some Feathers, and all appear'd to be sprinkled with Blood, probably of some poor Birds they had murder'd, with a great deal of Injustice, to strengthen the Charm. The Drum is oval, about sixteen Inches one Way and twelve the other; and there were painted on it several Figures of Men and Beasts, two or three Sorts of Birds, a great many Stars, and the Moon in the Middle of them, and at least a Dozen Representations of the Sun, all very ill-favouredly painted, and seem'd to be drawn on the Skin of the Drum with Blood.
The Hammer was of Bone, and about seven Inches long, and something like a Roman T, or rather like the young Branches or Sprouts, of the Velvet Head of a five or six Year old Buck, with us in England in ​June both of them seem'd exactly to answer the Description Scheffer gives of them in his History of Lapland, which is too curious a Book, not to be well known to your Lordship, for the many rare and uncommon Accounts of that Country, which are contained in it. I am persuaded upon reading over his Work, that this Drum, and those described by him, are much the same, except the Painting of it; and besides their Manner of beating on it, seem'd to have a pretty close Resemblance with that he describes.
I was so free with my obliging Landlord, as to ask him if he did not think it was a Sort of Magical Incantation that his Laplanders us'd, and if he believed it was by the Assistance of the Devil they made their Sunshine, or suppos'd it lawful to make Use of such Helps in obtaining it? But he answered me only with a loud laugh, and assuring me he believ'd there was no such Thing in the Matter; and tho' for his Part he had other Thoughts, yet most of the Noble Muscovites in that bad Climate, had such a Passion for Gardens and good Weather, that they would almost be oblig'd to Magick for them, rather than want them.
​In short, my Lord, I left him in his Sunshine very happy and contented, and took my Leave much indebted for all his Civilities, and set out for Moscow. I fell to considering all the Way of this new Method of making Sunshine, and what Uses it might be applied to, if ever our industrious Merchants, should ship it off and with a fair Gale purchas'd in Lapland, sail directly for England, like Ulysses carrying all the Winds in his Bags. What Gardens should we see rising up on every Hill under the Direction of these lovely Laplanders, with all the Fruits, Trees, and Flowers of France and Spain, and even the East and West Indies. How many Cures might our George the Sixth make, by setling a few Acres by the Year on our Hospitals for the Sick, and our Mad People in Bedlam; and how many of our fair Ladies, and nice peevish fine Gentlemen, would be set free from their Spleen and Vapours, by setting out a reasonable Proportion for St. James's Park and the Mall, not forgetting his own Royal Gardens and amiable Family. How many fretfull uneasy Husbands and Wives, melancholy Lovers, and fullen Beauties, not to speak a Word of our gloomy Sectaries and four Catholicks, discontented Courtiers that ​lose Places, and zealous Patriots that want them, would he recover to plain Sense and good Humour, by this lovely Cordial.
If he would settle an Acre or two on our Professors of Astronomy, what clear Accounts of our Eclipses should we have for the future, without the old lazy Excuse of dark Days and bad Weather; not to mention a Syllable of the clouded Brows, and the silent splenetick Tempers of our University Men, that would be finely clear'd up by it.
In short, my Lord, I begin to be reconcil'd to this Affair, and tho' the Devil should have a little Hand in it, we might easily get an ingenious Jesuit to bring us off that Scruple, by two or three learned Doctors Opinions, and a few good Distinctions with Probability in them. We should by the Help of these honest Drummers, be able to make our Air and Weather above Stairs as easily and as conveniently, as those ingenious underground Philosophers the Miners, can below Stairs; who by mere Perflation and Ventilation, as they term it, that is by letting Air in and out as they find proper, produce a kind of actual Circulation of it, and make it thicker or thinner, as they find best for their Business.
​I must take Leave to be merry on this Subject with your Lordship, to make Amends for the Fright it gave me; and if we once fall to Dealing with these admirable Fellows, we shall soon be no longer satisfied, either with the Earth, or Sun of our Forefathers, but by the Help of their Improvements in our Fields and Gardens, we shall get, as it were, new Heavens, and a new Earth, as St. Peter speaks. We shall certainly have the Advantage of the good Catholicks, in taking up with this Scheme, for they will probably be fearful of dealing with these same Lords of the Air, propter metum Judæorum, and lest the Clergy and Inquisition talk to them about it in private. Besides, they will probably stick to their old Way of Weather-making by Processions, and carrying about the Shrines and Relicks of their precious Saints, which we all know by Experience, never fail to produce Rain or Sunshine on all publick Occasions, as the Priest and People desire them; and may with proper Regulations, be made Use of in the Way of Gardening, for the Service of private Gentlemen, that have strong Faith and large Fruiteries.
​The Ancients keep a great Noise with their Witches charming down the Moon, and the Priest of Jupiter Lyceus causing Rain when he pleas'd, by dipping a Branch of Oak in a certain Fountain, whose Name I've forgot. The Jews boast as loudly of Judah, that by unloosing one Shoe, brought a heavy Rain down in a Drougth; and that had he untied the other, it would have caus'd a second Deluge; but none of them could come up to these same Laplanders, that make the Sunbeams brighten the Face of Nature, where they direct them.
The famous Swedish Priest and Inquisitor, Joannes Nider, tells us, indeed, (in his 4th Chapter of his Tract about Witches,) that the learned Judge Peter Stadelein, condemn'd an old Witch for causing Tempests; who confest, on the Torture, that she did it, by invocation of the Devil in the Field, and sacrificing a black Cock, and throwing it up to him in the Air, which when the Devil seiz'd, he immediately began the Storm. This was extraordinary enough, my Lord; but to oblige him to give us Calms, and as bright glorious Seasons in the Night of Winter, as others enjoy in the Morning or Noon of Summer, is an honest ​Sort of Magick that deserves publick Premiums, instead of Punishment, and excels all that ever yet appeared in the World. Even our learned Countryman, Roger Bacon, tho' he declares he could undertake to raise artificial Clouds, and cause Thunder claps to be heard, and Lightning to flash in our Eyes along with them, and then make all end in a Shower of Rain, could never pretend to any Thing like these extraordinary Gentlemen; and therefore, my Lord, I leave it to your prudent Consideration, whether I had not better treat with a Colony of Laplanders, to come and settle with their Drums in England, than spend my Thoughts and Time, with keeping fair Weather with these bustling blustry Muscovites.
But I must grow serious when I speak on so important a Subject as our good Agreement with Muscovy, which in so many Views, is of the highest Consequence to Great Britain. But as it becomes not me to dictate to your Capacity and Experience, and as I have Reason to hope, you think the same Way that I do on this Occasion, I shall not trouble you with a long Detail of Reasons and Motives, to persuade us to cultivate the Czar's Friendship. It becomes me better to say, that ​ whatever Commands your Lordship honours me with at this Court, I shall labour to perform with all my little Strength and Ability; as being conscious I am serving the best of Princes, the most generous and disinterested Minister, and where they are well govern'd, the wisest and bravest Nation, that ever gave Laws to the Earth and the Sea. I am, with the greatest Respect,
My Lord, Your Lordship's, &c.
Clare.
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