# Vivian Grey/Volume 5/Chapter 7.7

CHAPTER VII.
The acquaintance between Master Rodolph and Essper George had been renewed with as much cordiality as that between their respective masters. When one man is wealthy, and another agreeable, intimacy soon ensues. The Wit is delighted with the good dishes of the man of wealth, and the man of wealth with the good sayings of the Wit. Such friendships, in general, are as lasting, as they are quickly cemented. They are formed on equal terms. Each party has some failing to be excused, as each has some good quality to recommend him. While the pun of the Wit is bartered for the pasty of his host, he can endure the casual arrogance of the master of the feast, ​provided he may occasionally indulge in a little malice of his own.
A place was never wanting for Essper George at the table of the former Steward of the Prince of Little Lilliput; or, as he was now styled, the Intendant of his Excellency the Grand Marshal; and as the worthy Master Rodolph pressed with vehemence his pursy sides, from a well-founded apprehension that his frequently-excited laughter might disturb the organization of his stupendous system, he felt that the good stories of Essper George amply repaid him for his often-exercised hospitality. But it was not merely his laughter-loving humour that occasioned Essper's company to be acceptable to his friend the Intendant. Easily as Master Rodolph was tickled by a jest, and remarkable as was his quickness in detecting the point of a very evident joke, the facetious qualities of Essper George were not the only causes which gained our hero's valet a welcome reception at all times in the Steward's hall. Cæsar loved to be surrounded by sleek men; the Intendant of the Grand Marshal by short ones. Five feet ​five inches, exactly Master Rodolph's own height, was, according to the worthy Steward's theory of the beautiful, a perfect altitude. Nevertheless, a stature somewhat beneath this model ever found favour in his sight. In short, a tall man was Master Rodolph's aversion; and it was the study of his life, that his friends and boon companions should be shorter than himself. For many years his intimate friend was the late Princess of Little Lilliput's dwarf. When their mistress died, Master Rodolph's friend, either through grief for her loss, or from water in his head, it was never decided which, 'set also his foot within grim Charon's boat.' Master Rodolph was in despair. There was not a full grown individual at Turriparva under six feet two; and even the young Prince Maximilian, although still much beneath the due limit, grew so apace, that, as all were perpetually observing, there was a very fair chance of his rivalling in height old Ernestus von Little Lilliput himself—the founder of the family—whose armour, still rusting in the Giant's Hall, proved that the stature of the great figures themselves was not ideal. ​The hospitable Prince himself could not therefore welcome the presence of his preserver in his own castle with greater joy, than did Master Rodolph the presence of that preserver's valet. Essper George, he immediately determined, was a good three inches shorter than himself:—eternal friendship was the instant consequence. At first Essper, who of course could not be intuitively aware of the foible of Master Rodolph, seized every opportunity of maintaining and proving, that the good Steward was much the shortest of the two; and as the knave could stand and walk on his toes the whole day, with the greatest facility, and without the least chance of detection, he found little difficulty, the first day, in making his kind host extremely miserable. But four-and-twenty hours could not elapse without Essper discovering that, which was as constantly the subject of Master Rodolph's thought and conversation, as the hitherto unseen, and unmet, and unheard of 'stouter man,' was of the dreams and researches of Dr. von Spittergen. Consequently, on the second day of his visit at Turriparva, Mr. ​Essper George sunk down to his natural height; confessed, and continually dwelt on the superiority of Master Rodolph; and was daily rewarded for the shortness of his stature, and the candour of his disposition, by the best wines and choicest dishes that Turriparva could afford. On the day that his master dined with Dr. von Spittergen, Essper George had made a particular engagement with Mr. Intendant, to drink the health of the new Grand Marshal, over a bottle of the very Burgundy, by the influence of which they had, a few weeks before, discovered his treason. Accordingly, about four hours after noon, Essper found himself in Master Rodolph's private room. He was introduced to two strangers—the first, Mr. Speigelburg, was about five feet four inches and a half high. He was a decayed gentleman-usher, who had retired on a pension of eighty dollars per annum. Although this stipend may be considered a very scanty one, by some who incumber the civil list of this country, nevertheless Mr. Speigelburg contrived, not only to exist without incurring debts to his ​tradesmen or his friends, but even to procure the reputation of being a man who lived within his income; and this, too, without the suspicion of being a niggard. The full Court-suit in which he now bowed to Essper George, although the very one in which he had assisted at the entrance of the Emperor Napoleon into Reisenburg, was still not unworthy of a Royal drawing-room. His shoes were the most highly polished in the city, his buckles the brightest, his linen the most pure. If the expenses of his wardrobe did not materially reduce his hard-earned pension of eighty crowns, assuredly the cost of living, naturally fond as Mr. Speigelburg was of good cheer, was likewise no great obstacle to his saving passion. A prudently-cherished friendship, of old standing, with the Court-cook, insured the arrival of a welcome hamper more than once during the week, at his neat lodging; and besides this, Mr. Speigelburg was as systematic and as schooled a diner-out, as if he had been born and bred in Brook Street. His former connexion, and present acquaintance with the ​Court, allowed him to garnish his conversation with many details interesting to the females of the humbler bourgeoisie. With them, indeed, from his various little accomplishments, Mr. Speigelburg was an especial favourite; and a Sunday party to the Royal Retreat, or the Royal Farm, or a Sunday promenade on the Ramparts, or in the Public Gardens, was never thought complete without his presence. His highly-polished and obliging manners, his facetious humour, his good stories, on which he very much prided himself, and in which frequent repetition had rendered him very perfect, and above all the dignified and rather consequential bearing which he knew well when to assume, made him as popular and considered a personage with the men, as with their wives. But the brightest moment in Mr. Speigelburg's existence, was the apostacy of the Prince of Little Lilliput. In due time he had been introduced by the Intendant of his Excellency the Grand Chamberlain, to the Intendant of his Excellency the Grand Marshal; and Master Rodolph no sooner set his eyes ​upon him, than he internally vowed that Mr. Speigelburg should dine at the Prince's expense as long as his master continued a great Officer of state, and he that master's Intendant. Such was one of the guests invited to meet our friend Essper George. The other was a still more singular looking personage.
When Essper was introduced to Mr. Lintz, a considerable time elapsed before he perceived a figure, which he considered to be a child, bowing to him without ceasing, in the corner of the room. Had Essper George been a longer resident in Reisenberg, an introduction to Mr. Lintz would have been unnecessary. Indeed, that gentleman had already called upon Vivian, though hitherto, unfortunately, without succeeding in seeing him. Mr., or to use a title by which he was better known, Little Lintz, was one of those artists whose fame is indissolubly bound up with that of their native city; and who seem to value no reputation which is not liberally shared with the place of their residence. The pencil of Mr. Lintz immortalised the public buildings of Reisenburg, and the ​public buildings of Reisenburg supported their artist. The Grand Square, the Royal Palace, the Public Gardens, and the Grand Hotel of the Four Nations'—these were the constant, the only subjects of Mr. Lintz's pencil. Few were the families in the city whose rooms, or whose collections, were not adorned or enriched with these accurate representations. Few were the travellers who sojourned at the Hotel, who were allowed to quit its hospitable roof unaccompanied by a set of Mr. Lintz's drawings. The discreet discrimination of the artist in the selection of his subjects, of course made the landlord of the Four Nations his sworn friend and warmest patron. On quitting the house, it was as regular an affair to encourage the Arts, as to fee the waiters. With this powerful patronage, Little Lintz of course flourished. Day after day passed over, only to multiply his already innumerable and favourite four views. Doubtless Little Lintz could have given a most faithful representation of every brick of the Great Square of Reisenburg with his eyes shut. In spite of his good fortune, and unlike most ​artists, Little Lintz was an extremely modest and moral personage. Not being much above four feet and a half high, Master Rodolph had, of course, immediately sunned him with the rays of his warmest patronage. Orders were showered down, and invitations sent in, with profusion and rapidity. Every member of the Grand Marshal's household was obliged, as a personal favour to the Intendant, to take a set of the four views. Every room in the Grand Marshal's house was graced by their eternal presence; and as for the artist himself, free warren of cellar and larder was immediately granted him.
Perhaps a merrier party never met together than these four little men. Mr. Speigelburg, who was well primed for the occasion, let off a good story before the first bottle was finished. The salute was immediately returned by Essper George. Master Rodolph presented the most ludicrous instance of ungoverned mirth; and laying down his knife and fork, vowed that they were "in truth a pair of most comical knaves." Little Lintz said nothing, but he sat ​biting his lips, lest laughter should destroy his miniature lungs; his diminutive hands and eyes, ever and anon raised up in admiration of the wit of his companions, and his heels resting on the bar of his chair. No one, at first, was more surprised and less pleased with Essper George's humour, than Mr. Speigelburg himself. A rival Wit is the most bitterly detested of mortals; and the little old courtier, alarmed at the rapidity and point of Essper's narratives and repartees, began to think that the poacher on his manor might prove almost too strong for the game laws; and so Mr. Speigelburg drew up in his seat, and grew dull and dignified. But a very short time elapsed ere Mr. Speigelburg discovered that Essper George was neither envious of his reputation, nor emulous of rivaling it; and that his jokes and jollity were occasioned rather by the o'erflowings of a merry spirit, than by any dark design to supersede hini in the favour of their host. No one laughed at Mr. Speigelburg's stories with more thorough enthusiasm—no one detected the point of Mr. Speigelburg's jests with more flattering ​celerity, than the man whom he had at first mistaken for an odious and a dangerous rival. Mr. Speigelburg's present satisfaction was in proportion to his previous discontent, and he and Essper were soon on the most intimate terms.
The Burgundy in due time produced every regular effect, and the little men made noise enough for as many Brobdignags. First they talked very loud, then they sang very loud; then they talked all together very loud, then they sang all together very loud. Such are four of the five gradations of Burgundian inebriety! Burgundy!—but we have had invocations enough; it is a wine of which we know nothing in England. No man should presume to give an opinion upon Burgundy, who has not got tipsy at Dijon. In the course of half a dozen hours, one of the party experienced some inconvenient symptoms of an approach to the fifth and final gradation. Master Rodolph began to get very drowsy; the fat Chambertin was doing its duty. In order to rouse himself from his stupor, the Intendant proposed that they ​should amuse themselves with a little Zwicken; but as this game was no favourite with Mr. Speigelburg, the party finally resolved to sit down to Whist.
The table was cleared, and Essper was Rodolph's partner. The Intendant managed to play through the game very well, and to Mr. Speigelberg's mortification, won it. He would probably have been equally successful in the rubber, had he remained awake; but invincible sleep at last crept over Master Rodolph's yielding senses, and although he had two by honours in his own hand, he snored. Oh, Burgundy! but I forgot—I will go on with my story.
No sooner had the nasal sound of Master Rodolph caught the ever-ready ear of Essper George, than that wicked knave quickly pressed his finger to his mouth, and winking to Mr. Speigelburg and little Lintz, immediately obtained silence,—a silence which was not disturbed by the soundless whisper in which Essper spoke to both his companions. What he was detailing or suggesting, time will reveal; his violent gesticulation, animated action, and ​the arch and mischievous expression of his countenance, promised much. Apparently the other guests readily acceded to his proposition, and Essper George accordingly extinguished the two candles. As there was no fire, and the shutters were closed, the room was now in perfect darkness.
"Play!" shouted Essper George in a loud voice, and he dashed his fist upon the table.
"Play!" halloed Mr. Speigelburg.
"Play!" even screamed little Lintz.
"What, what, what's the matter?" mumbled Master Rodolph, rubbing his eyes and fumbling for his cards.
"Play!" again shouted Essper George.
"Play!" again halloed Mr. Speigelburg.
"Play!" again screamed Little Lintz.
"Play!" said Master Rodolph, who was now pretty well awake. Play!-play what?"
"Why, a diamond if you have got one," said Essper George. "Can't you see? Are you blind? Hasn't Mr. Speigelburg led a diamond?"
"A diamond!" said Master Rodolph.
"Yes, a diamond to be sure; why what's the ​matter with you? I thought you played the last trick very queerly."
"I can't see," said Master Rodolph, in a very doleful voice.
"Come come!" said Essper; "let us have no joking. It is much too important a point in the game to warrant a jest. Play a diamond if you have one, and if not, trump!"
"You have no right to tell your partner to trump," said Mr. Speigelburg, with mock indignation; for he had entered into the conspiracy with readiness, as he now saw a chance, by its concoction, of saving himself from losing the rubber.
"He has a right to tell his partner any thing," said Master Rodolph, equally indignant at this interference; "But I tell you I can't see."
"Can't see!" said Essper George; "what do you mean?"
"I mean exactly what I say," said Master Rodolph, somewhat testy. "I can't see; I am not joking the least. I can't see a single pip of a single card. Have I been asleep?"
​"Asleep!" said Essper George, in a tone of extreme surprise. "It's an odd thing for a man to be asleep, and play every card as regularly as you have done, and as well too. I never remember you playing so well as you have done to-night;—that finesse with the spade last trick, was quite admirable. Had you only played half as well, the night you and I sat against Long Halbert and Sax the pikeman, the night, you remember, in the yellow room at Turriparva, I should not have lost a silver dollar. But what has having been asleep to do with it?" continued Essper. "Had you slept for a century, your eyes are open wide enough now. Why you stare like a pig four and twenty hours before salting. Speigelburg, did you ever see a man stare so in all your life? Little Lintz, did you?"
"Never!" said Speigelburg with enthusiasm; the rubber was now certainly saved.
"Never!" screamed Little Lintz.
"I have been asleep," said Master Rodolph, in a very loud, and rather angry voice; "I have been asleep—I am asleep—you are all ​asleep—we are all talking in our sleep—a'n't we?"
"Talking in our sleep!" said Essper George, affecting to be stifled with laughter; "well! this is what I call carrying a joke rather too far. Come, Master Rodolph, play like a man."
"Yes, yes!" said Mr. Speigelburg; "play, play."
"Yes, yes!" said Little Lintz; "play, play."
'How can I play?" said Master Rodolph, his anger now turning into alarm.
"Why with your hands to be sure!" said Essper George.
"Good Master Rodolph," said Mr. Speigelburg, in rather a grave tone, as if he were slightly offended; "be kind enough to remember that cards were your own proposition. I have no wish to continue playing if it be disagreeable to you; nor have I any objection, if it be your pleasure, although I have a very good hand, to throw up my cards altogether. What say you, Mr. Lintz?"
"No objection at all," said the little man; biting his lips in the dark with renewed vigour.
​"Thank you, Mr. Speigelburg," said Essper George; "but I, and my partner, have a great objection to your throwing up your cards. If you are satisfied with your hand, so much the better: I am satisfied with mine. I am sure, however, your partner cannot be with his; for I see nothing but twos and threes in it. Now, do me the favour, Mr. Lintz, to hold your cards nearer to you. There is nothing I detest so much as seeing my adversary's hand. I say this, I assure you, not out of any affected admiration of fair play; but the truth is, it really puzzles me. I derive no benefit from this improper knowledge. Now, do hold your cards up: you really are a most careless player. Nearer, nearer, nearer still!"
These matter-of-fact observations and requests of Essper George, effectually settled Master Rodolph's brain; never very acute, and now muddled with wine.
"Do you mean to say," asked he, in a most tremulous and quavering voice, "Do you mean to say that you are all seeing at this very moment?"
​"To be sure!" was the universal shout.
"Every one of us!" continued Essper; "why, what maggot have you got into your brain! I actually begin to believe that you are not joking after all. Cannot you really see? and yet you stare so! did you ever see a man stare so, Mr. Speigleburg? and now that I look again the colour of your eyes is changed!"
"Is it, indeed?" asked Master Rodolph, with gasping breath.
"Oh ! decidedly; but let us be quite sure. Little Lintz, put that candle nearer to Master Rodolph. Now I can see well; the light just falls on the pupil. Your eyes, Sir, are changing as fast as the skin of a chameleon; you know they are green: your eyes, if you remember, are green, Master Rodolph."
"Yes, yes!" agreed the Intendant, almost unable to articulate.
"They were green, rather," continued Essper George; "and now they are crimson; and now they are a whitish brown; and now they are as black as a first day's mourning!"
"Alack—and alack-a-day! it has come ​at last," exclaimed Master Rodolph in a voice of great terror. "We have blindness in our family, if I remember right; if indeed I can remember any thing at this awful moment, and my mind has not left me as well as my eye-sight; we have blindness in our family. There was my uncle, black Hunsdrich the trooper, the father of that graceless varlet who lives with his lordship of Schoss Johannisberger, whom never shall I see again. What would I now give for one glimpse at his nose! There is blindness in our family!" continued Master Rodolph, weeping very bitterly; "blindness in our family! Black Hunsdrich the trooper, the father of that graceless varlet, my good uncle Black Hunsdrich, what would he now say to see his dearly beloved nephew, the offspring of his excellent sister my good mother, to whom he was much affected,—what would he say now, were he to see his dearly beloved nephew in this sad and pitiable condition! Weep for me, my friends!—weep and grieve! How often has my dear uncle, Hunsdrich the trooper, how often has he dandled me on his knee! There ​is blindness in our family," continued the poor Intendant. "Black Hunsdrich the trooper, my uncle, my dearly beloved uncle, kind Hunsdrich, who was much affected to me. How much I repent at this sad hour, the many wicked tricks I have played unto my dear uncle! Take example by me, dear friends! I would give my place's worth, that I had not set fire to my dear uncle's pig-tail; and it sits heavy on my heart at this dark moment, the thought that in privacy and behind his back, I was wickedly accustomed to call him Shag-face. A kind man was Black Hunsdrich the trooper! His eyes were put out by a pike, fighting against his own party by mistake in the dark—there was always blindness in our family!"
Here Master Rodolph was so overcome by his misfortune, that he ceased to speak, and began to moan very piteously; Essper George was not less affected, and sobbed bitterly; Mr. Speigelburg groaned; Little Lintz whimpered. Essper at length broke silence.
"I have been many trades, and learnt many ​things in my life," said he, with a very subdued voice; "and I am not altogether ignorant of the economy of our visual nerves. I will essay, good Master Rodolph, my dear friend, my much-beloved friend. I will essay, and examine, whether some remnants of a skill once not altogether inglorious, may not produce benefit unto thy good person. Dry thine eyes, my dear Mr. Speigelburg; and thou, little Mr. Lintz, compose thyself. We cannot control fate; we are not the masters of our destiny. Terrible is this visitation; but it becomes us to conduct ourselves like men; to struggle against misfortune; and verily to do our best to counteract evil. Good Mr. Speigelberg, do thou hold up and support the head of our much-valued friend; and thou, kind and little Mr. Lintz, arrange the light, so that it fall full upon his face. (Here Essper, overpowered by grief, paused for a moment.) Well placed, Mr. Lintz exceedingly well placed! and yet, a little more to the right. Now I will examine these dear eyes." So saying, Essper, groping his way round Mr. Speigelberg's chair, reached ​Master Rodolph. "There is hope," continued he, after a pause of a few minutes; "hope for our much beloved friend. It is not a cataract, and methinks that the sight is not lost. The attack," continued Essper, in a tone of confident pomposity; "the attack is either bilious or nervous. From the colour of our friend's eyes, I at first imagined that it was a sudden rush of bile; but on examining them more minutely, I am inclined to think otherwise. Give me thy pulse, Master Rodolph! Hum! nervous, I think. Show me thy tongue, good Master Rodolph.—Hum! very nervous! Does that affect your breath?" asked Essper; and he gave the little lusty Intendant a stout thrust in his paunch. "Does that affect thy breath, beloved friend?"
"In truth," answered Master Rodolph, but with great difficulty, for he gasped for breath from the effects of the punch; "in truth it very much affects me."
"Hum! decidedly nervous!" said Essper George; "and a little on the lungs—the nerves of the lungs slightly touched: indeed, your ​whole nervous system is disarranged. Fear not, my good friend, I perfectly understand your case. We will soon cure you. The first thing to be done, is to apply a lotion of a simple, but very peculiar nature,—the secret was taught me by a Portuguese—and then I must bind your eyes up."
Essper now dipped his handkerchief in water, and then bandaged Master Rodolph's eyes with it very tightly. When he had decidedly ascertained that the Intendant's sight was completely suppressed, he sought his way to the door with becoming caution, and soon re-entered the room with a lamp. The extinguished candles were immediately relit. Master Rodolph continued the whole time moaning without ceasing. "Alack-a-day—and alack, that it should come to this! Oh! Burgundy is a vile wine! Often have I said to myself that I would never dry another bottle of Burgundy. Why have I deserted, like an ungrateful traitor, my own country liquors! Alack-a-day, and alack! the whole house will now go to ruin! Tall Halbert will always be back in his ​accounts; and as for that rascally Vienna bottle-merchant, he will ever be cheating me in the exchanges. Much faith have I in thee, good Essper—truly much faith. Thy skill is great, and also thy kindness, good Mr. Speigelburg;—and thou too, my little friend; never more shall I see thy pleasing views of this fair town!"
"Now, Mr. Speigelburg," said Essper, "and thou also, kind Mr. Lintz, assist me in moving away the table, and in placing our dearly beloved and much-afflicted friend in the centre of the room; so that we may all of us have a fair opportunity of witnessing the progress or alteration of his disorder, the shifting of the symptoms, and indeed the general appearance of the case."
They accordingly placed Master Rodolph, who was seated in his large easy chair, in the very centre of the room.
"How feel you now, dear friend?" asked Essper George.
"In truth, very low in spirits, but confiding much in thy skill, good Essper. Hast thou ​hope, I pray thee tell me, or recommendest thou that I should send for some learned professor of this city? Methinks, in the multitude of counsellors there is wisdom!"
"Yes! and in the multitude of fees there is ruin. I tell thee, much-loved Master Rodolph, that I undertake thy cure—fear not—and thy purse shall suffer as little as thy body. But I must find in thee a ready, satisfied, tractable, and confiding patient. The propriety of my directions must not be questioned, and my instructions must be strictly obeyed."
"In truth, thou hast only to command, good Essper; but might I not part with this bandage? Methinks thy lotion, simple as thou dost profess it to be, has already produced very marvellous effects; and I already feel my sight, as it were, struggling through the folds of this linen cincture."
"Take off that bandage," said Essper," and you are stone-blind for life!"
"Alack-a-day!" exclaimed Master Rodolph; "how awful! In truth there is blindness in our family. Black Hunsdrich the trooper—"
​"Silence!" said the physician; "I must seal your mouth for the present."
"Alack-a-day!" said Master Rodolph; "in truth, without conversation, life appears to me like a prince without a steward!”
"Hush! hush!" again exclaimed Essper; "your attack, good Rodolph, is decidedly nervous, and your cure must be effected by causing an instantaneous re-action of your whole system." Here Essper whispered to Mr. Speigelburg, who immediately quitted the room. "You are perhaps not aware," continued Essper, "of the intimate connexion which exists in the human frame, between the pupils of the eyes and the calves of the legs?"
"Alack-a-day!" exclaimed the simple Intendant.
"Silence! silence! you must listen, not answer: now," continued he, "the attack in your eyes, good Rodolph, has been occasioned by a sort of cramp in your legs; and before any of my remedies can produce an effect upon you, a prior effect must be produced by yourself upon the dormant nerves of the calves of ​your legs. This must be produced also by manual friction before a large fire." This fire was now being lighted by Mr. Lintz, under Essper's directions.
"Alack-a-day!" again burst forth Master Rodolph.
"Silence! silence!"
"I tell you, good Essper, I cannot be silent; I must speak, if I be blind for it for my whole life. I rub the calves of my legs! I tell you it would be an easier task for me to rub the Grand Duke's, or Madame Carolina's. I rub the calves of my legs! Why, my dear Essper, I cannot even reach them. It was only last Wednesday, that walking through the Great Square, I saw his Excellency approaching me, when my shoe-string was most unluckily untied. There was no idle boy near to help me, and from the greatness of the exertion, I sank down upon a step. Much fear I that my good Prince credited that I had smelt the wine-cup before dinner. In truth, I think I must again betake myself to buckles. I rub my calves, indeed! Impossible, my dear Essper!"
​"Choose then, between a little temporary inconvenience and eternal blindness. I pledge myself to cure you, but it must be by my own remedies. Implicit obedience on your part is the condition of your cure: decide at once!"
"If then it must be so," said Master Rodolph, in a very doleful voice; "if then it must be so, I must even obey thee. Pray for me, my good friends, I am much afflicted. Awful is this visitation—and great this fatigue!"
In truth the fatigue was great. Imagine an unwieldy being like Master Rodolph, stooping down before a blazing fire, and rubbing his calves with unceasing rapidity; Essper George standing over him, and preventing him, by constant threats and ever ready admonitions, from flagging in the slightest degree from his indispensable exertions. Poor Master Rodolph! how he puffed and panted, sighed, and sobbed, and groaned! What rivers of perspiration coursed down his ample countenance! But in the midst of his agony, this faithful steward, never, for one moment, ceased deploring the ​anticipated peculations of tall Halbert, and the certain cheatery of the Vienna merchant.
While he was in this condition, and thus active, Mr. Speigelburg returned; and it was with difficulty that the little man could suppress his laughter, when he witnessed his simple host performing this singular ceremony, and making these unusual and almost impossible exertions. Nor was he assisted in his painful struggle to stifle his indecent mirth, by his eyes lighting on Little Lintz, who was blowing the fire with unparalleled vigour, and raising his eyes to heaven with increasing wonder at Essper George, who stood opposite Master Rodolph, lolling out his great red tongue at him, winking his eyes, twisting his nose, and distorting his countenance into the most original grimaces. Mr. Speigelburg brought some cigars, and a large jar of hot water. The cigars were immediately lighted, and one placed in each side of Master Rodolph's mouth; tobacco, according to Essper, being a fine stimulant. Little Lintz was set to trim them, and every five minutes he shook off the grey ashes. Mas​ter Rodolph was never allowed for a moment to cease exciting the dormant nerves of the calves of his legs.
The clock struck eleven.
"All the symptoms, I am happy to say," observed Essper," are good. I have no hesitation in declaring that it is my firm conviction, that our much-valued friend will be reinstated in the possession of one of the greatest blessings of life. Before midnight, I calculate, if he be wise enough to obey all my directions, that he will find his sight restored."
"I shall die first," said Master Rodolph, in a very faint voice; "I feel sinking every moment; Adieu, my dear friends! Little did I think this jovial afternoon, that it would end in this. Adieu!"
"We cannot think of quitting you, dearest Master Rodolph!" said Essper. "Do not despair! exert yourself I beseech you: and never cease from exciting the dormant nerves of your calves, until it strike twelve o'clock. The reaction will then have taken place; but mind you rub low, good Rodolph: reach well down; ​you cannot rub too low. I stake my reputation upon your cure. Think of this, and do not despair. Shave that cigar, and mend the fire, Little Lintz; and now, good Mr. Speigelburg it is time for the last remedy; and then my good friends, the most profound silence. Not a word from either of you; you must not even answer a single question."
Mr. Speigelburg wanted no fresh instructions, and a stream of warm water was poured down the nape of poor Master Rodolph's neck, with the continuity of a cataract, so that the good steward at last fairly thought that he was born to be drowned. When the great jar was emptied, the confederates sat down to Boston; the patient, the whole time, continuing his exertions, though almost exhausted, and having no idea that he was not unceasingly watched by his gifted physician and faithful nurses.
At length Essper rose, and again felt Master Rodolph's pulse. "The important moment is at hand, my dear friend," said he; " and I rejoice to say that the symptoms could not be ​better. Your pulse has recovered, your nerves are rebraced. There!" he cried, jerking off the bandage.
Master Rodolph gave a loud shout, and in spite of his previous exertions, and without speaking a syllable, jumped upon his legs, and began dancing and hallooing with the most ungoverned enthusiasm. He would have stood upon his head, had not Essper George prevented him; but the interference of his physician called him a little to himself, and he embraced his preserver without mercy. Truly that affectionate hug of Master Rodolph, revenged all his previous suffering! The good Intendant was fairly beside himself. He gave Mr. Speigelburg such a joyous slap on his back, that the Court-suit suffered more in that one moment, than it had for years; and as for Little Lintz, he insisted upon putting him in the empty jar. The dwarf ran round the room for his life; and would decidedly have been potted, had it not been for the stout interference of Mr. Speigelburg. The little men ​ended by dancing in a circle, hand-in-hand: no one kicked his heels about with greater spirit than Master Rodolph, and supper was immediately ordered, to celebrate his miraculous recovery.