# Memoirs of the Twentieth Century/Paris, Dec. 16, 1997

To the Lord High Treasurer, &c.
Paris, Dec. 16, 1997.
My Lord,
YOUR last Dispatch of the 8th, found me just return'd from visiting our Sea-Ports, and their Garrisons in this Kingdom, all which I left in perfect good Order. The new Works at Calais to the Seaward, have much improv'd that Port, and in the lowest nepe Tides at Dunkirk, our Ships of War of forty Guns can go out and come ​in without any Hazard; the Benefit of which I need not mention to your Lordship.
Indeed if the eager Zeal of our Ancestors, had not with so much Industry ruin'd this Haven, while it was in the Hands of France, we might have sav'd a vast Sum in Repairing it now; and with half the Expence made it a better and safer Port, than at this Time can be hop'd for. All the British Garrisons, both Men and Officers, are in perfect good Health and Order, well fed, cloath'd, and paid, and made a fine Appearance; especially when compar'd with those of the French in the Towns I past thro', which were as naked and lean as Beggars. This is certainly very impolitick in this Crown, for when Troops are so ill paid and fed, they will never have Heart and Spirit in Time of Action; and tho' 'tis peculiar to the Turkish Soldiers, to carry a Spoon tied to their Swords, as Travellers assure us; yet in Effect all Soldiers do so, and never fight well for a Prince that feeds them ill, and neglects to keep them well. France and Spain have a long Time been remarkable for this Mismanagement, and have paid dearly for their Neglect, by so many terrible Losses as they have met ​with for these last fifty Years, and yet the French seem no way industrious to reform it.
As to the wretched State of Things here, which your Lordship is pleased to demand an Account of from me, it is almost as bad as their greatest Enemies can desire. For these many Years past, partly by the Ravage which both Famine and the Plague made with them, their unsuccessful Wars with Germany, and our Ruining their Naval Affairs and cramping their Trade, they have been much on the Decline. Besides the Quarrels Lewis the nineteenth and his present Majesty have had with the Papal See, (when the French King would fain have acted the Part of Henry the Eighth in England, and renouncing the Pope's Authority, seized on all the Wealth and Revenues of the Abbies and Monasteries) ended so disgracefully for this King, and their Holinesses have held so severe an Hand over him ever since, that his Affairs have gone very untowardly. He was forc'd to give up his Patriarch of Paris, (which as your Lordship knows he set up as our Metropolitan of Canterbury) into the Pope's Hands, who as he had been the prime Contriver of the Scheme was burnt for an Heretick; and in short, the Clergy and Peo​ple joining with the See of Rome, cut out such Work for him, that he was sufficiently humbled, and glad to buy his Peace, with giving up the Regale and the Loss of two or three strong frontier Towns in Dauphine, which the Pope keeps as Keys to enter the Gates of France from Italy, now that most of Savoy is his own.
Nor on the Side of Spain are the Affairs of this Crown any Thing better, for tho' in the last Wars between the Crowns, both made a mighty Noise of their Advantages, singing Te Deum for every little Village they took on either Side, just like the London Prize-Fighters, that with Drums and Trumpets proclaim each little Cut they give each other; and tho' France especially pretended, that the Spaniards were not able to stand before them, yet on the upshot of the Matter, when they made the Peace that has lasted ever since, Spain forc'd them to very inglorious Conditions. Your Lordship is perfectly well appriz'd, that they are as ill circumstanc'd on the Side of Flanders and Germany, where they have lost both Lisle, Mons and Doway to the Dutch, and Strasburg to the Emperor; so that all their Conquests in the 17th and 18th Centuries, that cost them such vast Sums, and such ​Numbers of Men, are vanish'd into Smoak and gone, and the Pope is now the entire Object of the Fears of Europe, instead of the conquering French. The Truth is, this Nation does not seem form'd for Empire, and tho' they've often made mighty Efforts, and great Conquests, they never preserve them. They seem to traffick for Provinces, as Busbequius tells us the Turks do for Birds, to take them and buy them, just to let them go again, and that they may thank them for their Liberty. His present Majesty, Lewis the twentieth, does not seem sufficiently resolute, or able, to mend the ill Posture of his Affairs; and if he were, his Clergy and People seem no ways desirous to disoblige the Pope, by strength'ning the Hands of their Prince; and what is worse, they are jealous the King would take a severe Revenge, for their joining with Rome against him, if he should once recover his former Power.
Besides, tho' the King is not fifty, he is grown a little crazy, and leaves his Affairs to his Ministers, who are more desirous to manage Things well at home, and remedy the Disorders that cramp their Administrations, than quarrel with their Neighbours who use the Nation ill. Thus it is with ​great Difficulty, we have been able to influence them, to think of coming to an actual Rupture with the Pope, tho' he treats them so ill, and tho' we pay them such high Wages for it. As the King also has been always a very weak Prince, and extremely amorous, and entirely under the Management of one Mistress or another by Turns, so he is now more so than formerly, which is a dead Weight on his Government. Every reigning Mistress introduces a new Set of Ministers and Officers; and this has often occasion'd vast Convulsions at Court, where the Fall of every Favourite brings on the Ruin of all his Dependants; which is but a Sort of Copy of the Custom Herodotus tells us the Scythians had, where when the King died, all his chief Officers were of necessity to be slain, and accompany him to his Grave.
Judge, my Lord, if the natural Consequence of this must not be, That his Majesty will be very ill serv'd, and have only mercenary rapacious Ministers to manage his Affairs, when he neither shews Prudence in chusing, nor Constancy in supporting them; and indeed the French Nobility have plaid their Game accordingly. The whole ​of their Endeavours, under several Administrations, for two Thirds of his Reign, has been to pillage the Kingdom, whether Affairs went well or ill, being like some Mills I have seen on the Seine, that will grind and get Toll both with Flood and Ebb.
In the Mean-time this unhappy Kingdom has been paying severely for these Mismanagements; tho' every Ministry, in their Turn, have been applauding their own Conduct, and on every little Occasion crying up their happy Times, and striking Medals to the Glory of their King. And certainly if future Historians were to plan out their Chronicles of these Days from such Vouchers, they would represent this Monarch as considerable an Hero; as the present Writers (if they impartially represent the Distractions of his Councils, the Defeats of his Troops, the Loss of his Provinces, and the Cries and Sufferings of his opprest Subjects) must paint him a weak, unfortunate, and contemptible Tyrant.
It is true, indeed, Mr. Meneville, who is a wise and able, tho' a corrupt Minister, and those who are at present at the Helm with him, (and depend on Mrs. Duvall, the reigning Mistress) as they seem to have an absolute Ascendant over him, and are likely ​to keep it, have manag'd him and his Affairs, these last four Years, something better than their Predecessors, and are endeavouring to bring Things into tolerable Order. However, after all, they have chiefly aim'd at keeping the Clergy a little humbler, and calming the Parties and Factions in the Kingdom; and by stopping the Mouths of the boldest and most seditious Leaders by Preferments, making every one pay more Submission to the King's Decrees and Authority.
Tho' this has not sufficiently quieted, the Provinces, yet at Court they have taught them all, to speak entirely the King's Language and Sentiments; where (as in Copenhagen every body's Clock and Watch is set to go exactly with the King's great Clock at the Palace) all are ready to answer his Majesty and his Ministers as submissively, as Menage, an antient French Writer tells us in his Time, the Duke D'Usez did the Queen Regent, who when she ask'd him what Hour it was, answer'd, Madam, what Hour your Majesty pleases.
This great Work, tho' it be but half done, would never have been brought about barely by Preferments and Places; for I can assure ​your Lordship, it has cost immense Sums too, which they have been forc'd to fleece the People for, to buy off their Demagogues, so that they whip the Subject with Rods of their own making. And indeed the Ratio ultima Regum, which us'd to be plac'd as the Motto on the Cannon of this King's Predecessors, ought to be taken off and plac'd around his Coin, as the chief Specifick of the present Times, for Submission and Obedience to the Authority of the Crown.
Their great standing military Force, has also with the Help of these Lenitives, gone of late a good Way to re-establish Peace and Order, in the Room of their former Confusion and Distractions. By the Means of so considerable a Body of Troops as they keep up, they at once over-awe their Enemies and the Pope, from attempting new Disturbances; and also silence the loud Orators whom he prompts, from thundering in their Pulpits to stir up the People, as effectually as Lewis XIV. us'd to drown the Speeches of the Huguenots at the Scaffold and the Gibbet, with the Noise of the Drums, lest their Words should make too strong Impressions on the Crowd, by representing how Religion and its true Professors were injur'd. ​Such miserable and destructive Measures is Tyranny, and its detestable Advocates forc'd to make use of, to support its own Violence, and chain down that natural Desire, which the great Author of Mankind has plac'd in every Breast, to weaken or overturn it. Whereas, if Princes would act with the Spirit of our glorious King, or his Royal Ancestors, and make the Laws of the Land, the Rule of their Government and the People's Obedience; nay, if they would act barely as honest Men, with a common Regard to Conscience and Justice, how happy would Mankind be? What would then become, my Lord, of Generals, Officers, and Soldiers; of Infantry and Cavalry, Artillery, Powder-Mills, Gun-Smiths, Sword-Cutlers, Spies, Informers, Jesuits, and Assassins?
But Sycophants and Flatterers, that are ever buzzing about the Ears of great Princes, knowing it is impossible otherwise to support themselves, and the desperate Measures they put their Masters on, are still persuading them they can never reign effectually, but when they tyrannize absolutely. To this End it is, that they so immensely encrease their Troops, to tie the Subjects Chains ​and Bondage so fast, that 'tis dangerous at last even for the Prince to unloose them, if Pity and Humanity should encline him to it. Thus they strain the Cords of Government, so far beyond their natural Strength, that sooner or later they break of themselves, and end in the Destruction of those Sycophants; who, while they push on Princes to aim at enlarging their Power, (just as the Devil deluded our first Parents) by telling them they shall be as Gods on Earth, turn them into Devils, and occasion their irretrievable Ruin.
The Misery of this poor People, that groan under so many Burthens, is inconceivable; they pay Taxes for all that they eat or drink or wear, to an excessive Degree, even to their Salt and Bread; nay, they pay for every Beast that they keep, even to plow their Land, for every Arpent (equivalent almost to our Acre) when plow'd, and for every Mill that they grind their Corn in, for the Houses, or Cottages rather, they live in, and the very Fires in them which they warm themselves by; and also for every Marriage, Christening, and Burial in their Families. These Taxes are every Year encreasing, and indeed, like Virgil's Torrent, ​the longer they run, the more they swell and enlarge, till at last they lay waste whole Countries, like an Innundation, sweeping away both the Substance, Houses, and Inhabitants of the Land.
By this Means the Poverty, especially among the lower Sort, is so excessive, that they want even the common Necessaries of Life; nor is it possible, in some Provinces, to prevent a general Desolation, without a Remission of many of their burthenous Gabells, unless some of those miraculous Showers should be procur'd them by the Jesuits, which Livy tells us were sometimes sent the Romans by their Gods, that rain'd down Corn and Flesh and Milk among them.
In the midst of this Misery, the Luxury of the Nobility and Gentry is increas'd beyond all Bounds, as if they were not only insensible of, but even rejoyc'd in the publick Calamities of their Fellow-Subjects. Their Tables are cover'd with fuch Profusions of Expence, in all Sorts of Delicacies, that it exceeds the Riot and Revelling of Greece and Rome, flush'd with the Glory of their Conquests, and corrupted with the Wealth and Spoils of the World. The stat​ed Hours of dining and supping are absolutely laid aside, and thro' a silly Affectation of mimicking their Princes, People of Distinction oblige their Cooks, to have a Dinner still ready at all Hours when they call for it, thinking it only fit for Tradesmen and Rusticks to dine at set Times. Nay, I can assure your Lordship, some are grown to such Excess and Folly, as to buy no Flesh of Beeves or Sheep for their Tables, that have not their Hair and Wool close shaven off, and curried with Pumice-Stones, to make the Meat sweeter and higher relish'd.
Nay they have, in Imitation of the Ancients, brought into Fashion, the sowing and cultivating the famous Silphium of the Persians, with which they feed these Sheep, and make them extremely fat and high tasted; and many mingle Assa Fœtida with their finest Sauces, which they reckon gives them a more exquisite Flavour, than the Spices and Ambergreace of their Ancestors. They have in all great Houses also, several different Sorts of Cooks, that preside over the particular Provinces of Luxury; as Cooks for Soops, Cooks for roasting, Cooks for boiling, Cooks of the Fishery, as they call them here, Cooks for Ragooes and Fricassies, Cooks for bak'd ​and stew'd Meats, Cooks, Confectioners, and Cooks of the Pastry. They have carried this wretched Pleasure of their Palates so far, that there are few Noblemen who do not, like Fulvius Hirpinus, keep an Escargatoire, or Snail-House, where they feed their Reservoirs of Snails, all the Year, on the choicest and finest Herbs, Fruits, and Flowers, for making their exquisite Ragoos, which this Nation is so ridiculously fond of; and have even brought the Breed of Pullets from Malabar to France, because their Flesh is reckon'd prodigiously sweet and delicious, tho' the outward Skin and the Bones are as black as Jet, as Dr. Frier tells us in his Travels. One would think, my Lord, after indulging themselves in such amazing Extravagancies this Way, they would not give into any other; and yet the violent Passion for Gaming, in both Sexes, runs so high, that the Honour and Modesty of the one, and the Fortune and Ease of the other, are entirely sacrificed to it. It eats up even their State, and their belov'd Equipage; and devours their favourite Embroidery and Jewels. The only Resource the Ladies have, under the dismal ​Ravage that attends this bewitching Madness, is to prostitute their Persons to the fortunate Conqueror, and at the dreadful Expence of all that should be dear to them, to prevent the irreparable Destruction that must otherwise consume, like Fire, their domestick OEconomy, and the Fortune of the Family. A Practice which I fear spreads too fast in some Countries, as well as here, and puts me in Mind of what Tacitus says of the Germans Love of Gaming in his Time, that when they had plaid away all their Money, they then set their Liberties and their Bodies at Stake, which became the Property of the Conqueror. The Men indeed have sometimes the happy Consolation, by turning Villains and Sharpers, to repair the Ruins of their Estates, by preying on the Ignorance and Inexperience of others; but surely, to an honest and ingenuous Mind, there is no Ruin can befall a Man equal to this, where the Repairs of their Circumstances are owing to the Sale of their Reputation?
I know not, my Lord, whether it be an Alleviation of the Crime, or an Aggravation of it, that this fatal Luxury and immense Extravagance is not so much owing to the Humour of the People, as the Policy of the ​Court, but certain it is, that this is the main Fountain of all the sad Disorders. Frugality and OEconomy are the great standing Fences against the shining Temptations of ambitious Princes and designing Ministers, and therefore there is a Necessity of breaking thro' them, by rendring them unfashionable, and consequently ridiculous. The great Machiavels in the Art of Ruling, know too well the Force of this Reasoning; a luxurious Gentry must be expensive, if expensive needy, if needy they must run in Debt, and if indebted, they must either give up their Pleasures, or take Places and Preferments to support them, that render themselves Slaves to the Will of their Master, who is thereby Lord at once of their Honour and Liberty, and in them a fair Purchaser of that of his People.
Behold at once, my Lord, the fatal Market of the Freedom of this Nation, and all their boasted Parliaments Rights and Privileges, which they once enjoy'd in as full a Proportion, as our own happy Country-men. But while we lament their miserable Conduct, let us rejoice at our own, and the Blessings that, under Heaven, we owe to that glorious Race of Heroes, under ​and by whom we still possess those invaluable Blessings, which the false Ambition of our neighbouring Princes, and the thoughtless Vanity, Pride, and Folly of their Subjects, have extirpated.
But I have detain'd your Lordship too long with these grave Reflections, and shall therefore reserve any further Accounts of this People, and the Conduct of the Ministers here, who seem desirous of improving the present State of Things, till the next Dispatch I have the Honour to send you. Possibly in case what I now send be not disagreeable to you, I may be able, in my next, to entertain you better on this Head. In the mean Time, it cannot fail to give your Lordship some Satisfaction, to see this great Kingdom, that for so many Years was still enterprizing on the Liberties and Dominions of her weaker Neighbours, and laying Schemes for the Ruin of Great-Britain, (as the main Step to the Empire of the World,) fallen now from the Object of our Fears, to that of our Pity.
I am sensible, your Lordship's great Wisdom and Experience, knows all these Things that I have wrote on this Subject, or that I am able to write on it or any other, infi​nitely better than I do. But you will be so just to consider, that I have herein rather obey'd your Commands, than follow'd my Inclinations, being sensible I have as little Desire as Ability, to speak or write on such weighty and difficult Matters, but when I am enjoin'd it by your express Direction.
I send herewith two little manuscript Treatises, remarkable for their Oddness and Novelty, and more to gratify your Curiosity, than please your Tast. One of them is wrote by Monsieur Perault, first Surgeon to the King; it is entitled, An Essay on Circumcision and Embalming. On the first Head he endeavours to prove, that it is vastly serviceable to Health, in many Respects, especially in warm Climates, and particularly that it is a great Extinguisher of Lust, and chiefly for that Reason enjoin'd the Jews, and therefore advises the Renewing that Usage now. In the other Treatise, he shews the Satisfaction it would be for great Persons, instead of throwing their Friends and Relations, to rot and corrupt in Vaults and Graves, to keep them in a decent Repository, where they might survey the very Persons and Features, of the whole Race of their ​Ancestors, as little disfigur'd as an Ægyptian Mummy. He undertakes to do this in the greatest Perfection, and proposes it to the Publick for their Encouragment, tho' his Friends have, with much ado, prevail'd on him not to publish it. Your Lordship sees, however, these Gentlemen are not satisfied with the Work we cut out for them, which our Debaucheries and Luxury have made but too considerable; but they are for beginning with us from the Birth, and following our wretched Carcasses, even after our Death.
The other Manuscript is a short History of, about, an hundred Men, remarkable for their great Wealth in this last Age, in Paris. He first gives a severe, but seemingly an impartial Account, of the vile Arts by which they obtain'd their Riches; of their several Cheats, Extortion, Oppression, sordid Avarice, slavish Toil, and mean Drudgery; their flattering the great, or ruining the Poor, by which they had risen in the World. He there shews the Pain and Uneasiness they went thro'; the Undutifulness of Children; the ill Conduct of their Wives or Widows; the Deaths of their favourite Sons, or their dying Childless, and ​Strangers possessing their Substance, or at least an extravagant Heir squandring it faster in base Methods, than they rais'd it. In the Conclusion he shews how few of their Families or Fortunes remain at this Day, and how much fewer of them had the Honesty or Virtue to leave, even the twentieth or fortieth Part of what they had, to publick Uses, or the Poor.
The Book is rather an useful Subject, than a well writ Treatise; but I wish it were translated into English, and ten Thousand of them presented to the rich Men of our Age; who, with so little Regard to the publick good of their Country, or thinking of making generous Foundations of their own, or contributing to those of others, go on continually in those beautiful Expressions of the Psalmist, to heap up Riches which they cannot tell who shall gather. It is not to see the Light here, it being dangerous to publish it, for fear of provoking the Resentments of some Persons, whose Relations are hardly treated in it, tho' I am told, with great Justice. 'Tis writ, by Father Meron a Capuchin; but this I tell only to your Lordship. The Jesuits are severely satyriz'd in ​it, for their Avarice, which makes it dangerous for the Author to own the Writing it.
When I have obey'd your Commands, as to giving you some Account of the poor Duke D'Aumont's Fate and Character, who has been so differently represented to you, I shall put an End to this tiresome Letter. It is certain, he died the first of this Month at his lovely Retirement in the Country, but not of Poison, as your Lordship mentions, but of a Fit of the Apoplexy, which took him off in a few Hours.
He was unquestionably a Gentleman of the most uncorrupted Integrity, the greatest Abilities, and the most universal Genius, of any Minister of State this Nation ever bred, not excepting that Hero of the Antients, Cardinal Richlieu. With all these Advantages, he carried himself in so haughty and arbitrary a Manner, with his late Majesty, who favour'd him, and his Enemies that envy'd him, that he made his Merit and great Qualifications almost useless to his Country. His Honesty had the Appearance of Ostentation and Insolence, (tho nothing was further from his Heart) and his Capacity and Knowledge, seem'd to wear an assuming and supercili​ous Air. He affected a Sincerity and Severity, that continually alienated the Hearts of the Courtiers from him. Not content to be unblameable himself, he thought to brow-beat Corruption and Immorality, in all that had any Thing to do in the King's Affairs; by reproaching them openly with any ill Conduct in their Lives and Manners. He was not satisfied in excelling all Men in the greatest Talents for the Camp, or the Cabinet, for Books or the World; unless he could drive Ignorance or Insufficiency from the Court, by severe Upbraidings of the Weakness, or Mistakes, the Folly, Incapacity or Vices of many in the Crowd of Pretenders there to Place and Power.
It was easy, my Lord, to see the Consequence of such a Conduct must be the Ruin of him who gave into it. And indeed tho' Heaven seem'd for some Time to declare in his Favour, against the Malice of the World, and to labour for his Establishment, by many Successes abroad; yet, on the first Turn of the Tide, by the Loss of the Battle at Strasburg, the whole Kingdom, or in other Words, all that was vicious and bad in it, seem'd, with one Voice, to cry out against him, and call for his Destruction; and even ​Lewis the Nineteenth, his Master, tho' he esteem'd him, was so sick of his intolerable Virtue, that he readily abandon'd him to the publick Hatred.
He was turn'd out of any Share of the Administration, banish'd the Court, and confin'd to his Country Seat for Life, where he gave himself up, with infinite Relish to a few worthy Friends and his Studies; and where he writ those Memoirs of his Time, which I sent your Lordship, and which alone will be a lasting Proof of the Virtue and Capacity of the Man. It is certain, if he could have pardon'd his Master's and his Courtiers Vices and Follies, or his Enemies evil Arts to defraud the Crown, by the Mismanagement of the Finances, and the usual Corruptions in the Officers of the Army, he might have rul'd the one, and triumph'd over the others; but he was too much in hast to do good, and too violently virtuous to reform a corrupt World, which he profess'd to abhor. I remember a great Man one Day speaking of his Vigilance, Dexterity, and his equal Zeal and Capacity to serve his Master, and clear the Court of such troublesome Vermin; compar'd his Fate to the Duchess of Chevreuse's Cat, who having broke her Leg, ​by a Fall in the Cellar, was the next Night bit to Death, and almost devour'd by the Rats, she had so often been labouring to destroy.
I am impatient for your Lordship's next Dispatches, and doubt not but this Court will oppose, with Vigour, the setting up the Inquisition, in spite of the Intrigues of the Nuncio, and his humble and pious Masters, the Jesuits; in which, according to my Instructions, I have and shall continue to express his Majesty's and your Lordship's zealous Concurrence and Assistance, by all proper Measures, and am, with the highest Deference and Esteem,
My Lord,
Your Lordship's, &c.
Herbert.
* ↑ Vid. Pliny, L. IX. C. LVI. & Varro, L. III. C. XIV.
* ↑ De mor. Germ. C. 24.
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