# The Clergyman's Wife and Other Sketches/Congeniality

CONGENIALITY.
ongeniality! what is it but the genial sense of appreciation, united to sympathy, for which all the world is yearning? And well may mankind seek that inspiring, rejoicing influence. In a congenial atmosphere even a dull, contracted nature is vivified and enlarged, while a spirit that has height and breadth expands and develops beyond its own recognition. All its powers are vitalized and strengthened and called into their most puissant activity. The pulses beat tunefully, the brain has a sparkling clearness, discordant emotions are quiescent, a delicious serenity pervades the whole being, and the mantle of universal love envelops all creation.
That state, sublimed and perfected, hereafter must be the condition of the blessed, for heaven and its "many mansions" could not exist, unembraced by a sphere of absolute congeniality.
When a highly sensitive organization is thrown into unavoidable contact with uncongenial associates, a sensation of repulsion is experienced, followed by mental paralysis. All the utterances of ​the heart are suddenly repressed, and eloquence itself becomes as tongue-tied as Cordelia. Frosty flakes creep through the shuddering veins, melted icicles drop upon the scintillations of wit, until not a spark flies up. And if this state of torpid wretchedness be prolonged, it reproduces the inquisitional torture of the iron cell that slowly but obviously contracted about a captive, until his very identity was crushed out.
Therefore is it that all hearts here below are longing for and seeking a joy-giving, peace-conferring sympathy. Some never find it through a long life, and grow skeptical of its existence; some hastily snatch at every spurious semblance, and soon sorrowfully discover that they have grasped at shadows; while the happier few receive all their conscious strength from the sweet certainty that they are journeying onward and upward en rapport with kindred spirits.
But, for this soul-refreshing congeniality to exist between individuals, similitude of character is not essential. Mental dissimilarity is often a more potent agent in its creation. A mind of great magnitude will stoop to look for sympathetic throbs in some lower, poorer nature. A weak or timid heart, that needs support, finds congeniality in contact with a strong, vigor-imparting intellect. A restless, nervous temperament delights in all peaceful and tranquillizing associations. A doubting spirit often attaches itself to one full of earnest faith. ​Thus, when the attributes, lacking in one spiritual conformation, are supplied by the abundance of another, a harmonious whole and perfect congeniality is the result.
But, proportionate to the happiness communicated by the satisfied sense of congeniality, is the danger with which its flattering counterfeit menaces. The mind whose thoughts we imagine to be in unison with ours, the heart that we believe is vibrating to our own with a quick comprehension of our aspirations, our disappointments, our griefs, our joys, has the power to obtain a fatal command over our judgment and volition.
Willis was not far from the truth in declaring that a woman is always in danger when she feels herself "comprehended." Certain it is that the false and scheming gain their surest foothold in her confidence by successfully simulated congeniality, and the persuasive appearance of understanding the movement of that inner life to which no common eyes can penetrate. Sympathy is the talismanic watch-word by which they pass the sentinels of Reason and enter the unguarded citadel of her affections.
To discover and touch with magical dexterity those delicate, invisible, sympathetic chords, is the secret of public power. Through them the multitude is fired, swayed, subdued; through them the crowd reacts upon the master mind by which it is kindled and controlled, and invests that mind with ​tenfold might. The lustre of the most radiant intellect may be wholly extinguished by the saturating agency of uncongenial surroundings, or it may be brightened to inspiration, by the receptive power of sympathy.