# Tales for the Farmers' Ingle-neuk (1826, Dunfermline)/The Spoiled Child

THE SPOILED CHILD.
Musing on long-gone-by times I approached my brother's cottage, and a thousand little incidents of my early days rushed in to my remembrance. This stone,' said I to myself, 'was the starting place of our races and that gate was our goal. Round yonder aged thorn we used to hunt the hare, and ​rest beneath the shade when we were tired of the mimic chace. Here stands the old stump, where many a summer's evening I have sitten, preparing my morning's task; there runs the little stream, where I have made and unmade so many ponds, and cascades, and islands.' I was just beginning to moralize on the happy period of childhood, when I found myself at my brother's door. A new train of sentiments and feelings now swelled my heart, and I was about hastily to enter, when I heard sounds within not at all in unison with the mild serenity of nature out of doors, or with the bright visions of peace and joy, which so many fond recollections had presented to my imagination. 'Be a gude bairn! be a gude bairn, this moment!' cried an angry female voice, whilst the little rebel she addressed screamed as loud as he could bawl. 'If you dinna haud your tongue directly, I'll send for the minister. Look! yonder he's coming to tak you awa' in his pocket. Wheest!' Terror for a moment got the better of passion, and the little fellow, checking his cries, looked; towards the door, but seeing nobody, for I kept myself concealed, he was convinced that his mother was deceiving him, and renewed the roar of rage and defiance. 'Here, bogle man,' cried the disappointed mother, endeavouring ​to overpower him by increasing the object of fear, 'here, tak' him; he's an ill bairn.' This mode of education was so contrary to all my ideas of propriety, that I could stand it no longer, and I hastily opened the door. The child, a fine little fellow about four years old, uttered a loud scream of despair as soon as he saw me, and, starting up, ran into a corner, where he hid himself behind a table; whilst his elder brother and sister, who were sitting by the fire, sprang with equal marks of horror into a bed, and covered themselves with the bed-clothes. The mother, too, was at first evidently confused and alarmed; and I am sure, if the bogle man himself had made his appearance, he could scarcely have created greater consternation. After having, amidst all this noise and bustle, with some difficulty introduced myself to my sister in-law, whom I had never before seen, I was received with a very hearty welcome, and my nameson George, the eldest boy, who, ashamed of his fears, came slinking out of bed, was dispatched to carry the tidings of my arrival to his father.
"My dear brother came quickly in from the field, and received me with a smile of such tender affection, that I totally forgot the disagreeable scene I had witnessed, till the little culprit behind the table, cured of ​his fears, but finding himself overlooked and neglected, suddenly brought himself into notice, by bursting out anew into a bitter squall of vexation and disappointment. My brother, after his wife had briefly explained to him the circumstances of the case, turned to the little boy, and in a soft soothing voice said, 'Did they frighten my wee Jock with the bogles? I think they were nae blate. Ah! ah!' continued he, pretending to strike the mother, 'tak' ye that, nasty mamma, for sending for the bogles. Come to dady, my dear pet, and the bogles shallna touch ye. Awa', dirty bogles, ye shallna touch my gude bairn.' Jock, however, had a will of his own, and he knew from experience, that by holding out he could bring his father to his own terms. He therefore obstinately refused to leave his hiding-place, and persisted in crying, though in a lower tone. Come awa', my bonny man,' resumed the fond father, pretending to search for something in his pocket, 'come awa', and see what I ha'e gotten here. Here's an apple for a good boy. A bonny red cheekit apple! There's a good bairn. Isna he a gude bairn, uncle George?' I made no answer to this appeal, but waited in silence to see how this curious scene would end. In the mean time, the little fellow, bribed by the deceitful ​promise, came slowly from his corner, and with his finger in his mouth, walked up to his father's knee. My brother took him in his arms, and wiping his face, which was all beslabbered with tears and dirt, called him 'his dear gude we Jockey,' and kissed him from ear to ear. Wee Jockey, however, was not easy cajoled. 'Where's my apple? Gie's the apple! Gie's the apple I tell ye' was so often and so firmly repeated, that the indulgent father, who had no apple to give, began to repent of his stratagem, when the mother relieved him by thinking of an expedient. 'Here, Jenny,' cried she, winking at her daughter, and pretending to put money into her hand; 'here; rin to the shop, and buy the bairn an apple. Mak' haste, now.' Then taking him on her knee, she sang lullaby to him, till, exhausted by his exertions, he fell fast asleep, and was safely lodged in bed. 'Had this child been properly brought up,' said I to myself, "how much easier would it have been to have settled all this mighty affair by a single look of authority, and how much better, too, both for his head and heart!" But I could not let the present occasion pass, without seriously admonishing my relatives on the impropriety of such conduct towards their children.
​I have already taken frequent opportunities, said I, of making you acquainted with my ideas respecting the proper method of training your children at home; but it is of so much importance that you should have correct views on this subject, that I could not feel satisfied were I to neglect this opportunity of repeating them. This is the more necessary, as I have by my illness been prevented from committing my thoughts to writing as I intended. The great difficulty in the education of children, as it seems to me, is to hit the proper medium between gentleness and severity. Harshness breaks and sours the temper; too much indulgence enfeebles the mind, or sets the passions loose from all restraint. Let it be your constant aim, therefore, to hold the reins of authority with a gentle but steady hand. Be the friend and not the tyrant of your family. Show your children that you love them, and they will love you in return. Treat them with confidence, and they will open their hearts to you. At the same time, do not let a mistaken tenderness prevent you from administering correction when necessary. Remember, that 'he that spareth the rod hateth the child; but take care that reason, not passion, direct the punishment. For a simple accident, however vexatious and ​distressing it may be, your child is not accountable; for carelessness let him be reproved; for wilful neglect or disobedience let him be whipped. Let your children clearly understand that you punish them not to gratify your own humour, but to perform a necessary though painful duty to them, and that you chasten them because you love them. Neither promise, nor threaten at random. What you promise, punctually perform; what you threaten rigorously indict. Let not your child say in his heart, 'My father deceives me.' I know you too well to suppose that you would be guilty of the meanness of a lie in your intercourse with your equals, but I fear you have not been accustomed to be so nicely scrupulous in your management of your children; and yet you cannot commit a greater error than to tell them an untruth. If, for your own convenience, you fall into a habit of alarming them into obedience by frightful stories or other falsehoods, they will not fail to find out the deceit, and they will learn both to imitate and despise you. All trick and cunning in education is detestable. Children, after the age of infancy, become rational creatures. Your two older children are old enough in many instances to be governed by reason. Let them learn to respect your judgment, as well as ​to reverence your authority. But in exacting obedience from the youngest, it is enough to say, 'This must be done because your father commands it, and he knows what is best for you.' Be particularly careful to show no preference to one child more than another, except on account of good conduct. A favourite is always unhappy. His temper is spoiled both by the foolish fondness of his parents, and the envious resentment of his little companions. Above all things, teach your children to remember their Creator and Redeemer in the days of their youth. Let religion be the foundation of all their actions. Let them learn to feel that they are constantly in the view of an all-seeing eye, and that the very thoughts of their heart are naked and open before Him. In inculcating these duties, never forget that example is better than precept. What you teach your children, be careful to practise yourselves. You wish to see them perform with fidelity all the religious, moral, and personal duties; set before them, then, a pattern of those duties in your own conduct."