# Vivian Grey/Volume 5/Chapter 8.3

CHAPTER III.
As it was now morning, Vivian did not again retire to rest, but took advantage of the disturbance in the Inn, to continue his route at an earlier hour than he had previously intended. As he was informed that he would meet with no accommodation for the next fifty or sixty miles, his projected course lying through an extremely mountainous and wild tract in the vicinity of the Lake of Gmunden, he was fain to postpone his departure, until he and his attendant had procured their breakfasts; and moreover, willingly acceded to a suggestion of the post-master, of taking with him a small basket, containing some slight refreshment for their 'noon meal.' Accordingly the remnants of ​their breakfast, a cold fowl—a relation of the live-stock which had so terribly disturbed Essper during the night—some fruit, and a bottle of thin white wine, were packed by the dapper post-mistress in a neat little basket. The horses were now put to, and nothing remained to be done, but to discharge the innkeeper's bill. The conduct of mine host and his good wife, had been so exceedingly obliging—for Vivian had not even listened to Essper's complaint, treating the whole affair as a drunken brawl—that Vivian had nearly made up his mind to wave the ceremony of having a regular bill presented to him; and feeling that the greatest charge which the post-master could make for his accommodation, could not reward him for his considerate conduct, he was on the point of making him a very handsome present, when the account was sent in. To Vivian's astonishment, he found that the charge exceeded, by about five times as much, the amount of his intended, and, as he had considered it, rather extravagant gratuity. The first item was for apartments—​a saloon, and two best bed-chambers! Then came Vivian's light supper, figuring as a dinner pour un maître; and as for Essper George's feed, it was inserted under two different heads, 'servant's dinner,' and 'servant's supper;' the retirement of Vivian from the smoky kitchen, having been the event which distinguished the moment when the first meal had terminated, and the second commenced. More ceremonious accuracy could not have been displayed in settling the boundaries of two Empires, or deciding the commencement of the Sabbath. And as for wine, the thin Augsburgh, though charged by the dozen, did not cost as much as the Hungary, charged by the bottle. It appeared by the bill also, that there had been no slight breakage of bell-glasses, nor was the sheep-tank, minus a leg by the overthrow of the Bohemian, forgotten; but looked imposing under the title of 'injured bed -room furniture.' Vivian scarcely got as far as their breakfasts, but even their excessive price passed from his mind, when his eye lighted on the enormous ​item which entitled them to the basket of provisions. It would have supported the poor Bohemians for a year!
Our hero's indignation was excessive, particularly as he now felt it his duty to listen to Essper's bitter complaints. Vivian contented himself, however, with returning the account by Essper to the post-master, who took care not to be in his customer's presence; informing mine host that there was some little mistake in his demand, and requesting him to make out a new charge. But the character of the pious, loquacious, complaisant, and convivial inn-keeper, seemed suddenly to have undergone a very strange revolution. He had become sullen, and silent; listened to Vivian's message with imperturbable composure, and then refused to reduce his charge one single kreützer.
Vivian, whose calm philosophy had received rather a rude shock since his last interview with Mr. Beckendorff, and who was not therefore in the most amiable of humours, did not now conceal his indignation; nor, as far as words could make an impression, spare the late object ​of his intended generosity. That pious person bore his abuse like a true Christian; crossing himself at every opprobrious epithet that was heaped upon him, with great reverence, and kissing a holy medal of his blessed necklace whenever his guest threatened vengeance and anticipated redress. But no word escaped the whole time from the mouth of the spiritual protégé of the Holy Fathers of St. Florian: pale and pigheaded, he bore all with that stubborn silence, which proved him no novice in such scenes; and not even Our Black Lady of Altoting was called upon to interfere in his favour, or to forgive, or forget, his innocent imposition. But his mild, and active, and obliging wife amply compensated, by her reception of our hero'*s complaints, for the rather uncourteous conduct of her husband. With arms a-kimbo, and flashing eyes, the vixen poured forth a volley of abuse both of Vivian and his servant, which seemed to astonish even her experienced husband. To leave the house without satisfying the full demand was impossible; for the demandant, being ​post-master, could of course prevent the progress of his victim. In this state of affairs, irritated and defied, Vivian threatened to apply to the Judge of the district. His threat bore with it no terrors: and imagining that the post-master reckoned that his guest was merely blustering, Vivian determined to carry the business through; and asked of a few idle persons who were standing round, which of them would show him the way to the Judge of the district.
"I will myself attend your Highness," said the innkeeper, with a bow of insolent politeness.
Vivian, however, did not choose to rely upon the post-master's faith; and so, attended by a young peasant, and followed at a few yards distance by their host, he and Essper proceeded to find the Judge of the district. The Judge lived at a small village two miles up the country; but even this did not daunt our hero, who, in spite of the meek and constant smile of his host, bade his guide lead on.
Half an hour brought them to the hamlet. They proceeded down the only street which it contained, until they came to a rather large, ​but most dilapidated house, which their guide informed them was the residence of the Judge. The great front gates being evidently unused, they rang the rusty bell at a small white door at the side of the mansion; and in a short time it was opened by a hard-working Austrian wench, who stared very much at the demand, as if she were but little accustomed to their admission of suitors. She bade them follow her down the court. Passing a heavy casement window, thickly overshadowed by a vine, she opened a door into a small and gloomy room, and the party were ushered into the solemn presence of the district Judge. His Worship was seated at a table, on which a few very ancient and dusty papers attempted to produce a show of business. He was earnestly engaged with his chocolate, and wore a crimson velvet cap, with a broad fur border, and a very imposing tassel. I need not describe his appearance very minutely—his Worship being an individual whom we have had the honour of meeting with before; he being no less a personage than that dignified, economical, con​vivial, and most illtreated Judge from the Danube, whose unlucky adventure about the bottle of Rudesheimer was detailed in an early chapter of these volumes; and whom it will be recollected was, at that time, if more good-humouredly, scarcely more courteously, treated by one of the present complainants, Essper George, than by his brutal boon companions—the University students.
"Pray, gentlemen, be seated: take a chair, Sir!" said his Worship as he raised himself on his elbows, staring in Vivian's face.—"H—u—u—m!" growled the fat Judge, as he perceived the innkeeper standing on the threshold.—"Come in there, and shut the door. Well, gentlemen, what is your pleasure?"
Vivian very temperately and briefly detailed the occasion of his visit. The Judge listened in profound silence; his pouting lips and contracted brow making it difficult to ascertain whether he were thoughtful or sulky. The innkeeper did not attempt to interrupt the complainant during his statement, at least not by speech; but kept up a perpetual commentary ​on the various charges, by repeatedly crossing himself, sighing, and lifting up his hands and eyes, as much as to say, "What liars men are!" and then humbly throwing out his arms, and bending his head, he seemed to forgive their mendacity, and at the same time, trust that Heaven would imitate his example. While this scene was acting, Essper George got wound up to such a pitch of frenzy, between the injustice which he considered his master was doing to their case, the hypocritical gesticulations of the defendant, and the restraint laid upon his perpetual interference by Vivian, and the looks of the Judge; that he could only be compared to a wild cat in a cage, hissing, spitting, threatening with his pawing hands, and setting up his back, as if he were about to spring upon his adversary and throttle him.
"Now!" said the Judge sternly to the post-master, "what have you to say? How can you answer to yourself for treating a foreign gentleman in this manner?"
​"St. Florian be my help!" said mine host with downcast eyes, "I am confounded: this worthy gentleman has most unaccountably deceived himself. Our Lady be my guide, while I speak the truth! Late last night this noble traveller and his worthy attendant arrived at our poor dwelling. I was busying myself to get horses for his carriage, when the gentleman complained of so much illness and fatigue, that his servant entreated me to strive to give him accommodation for the night. Indeed, poor gentlemen! it is no wonder they were fatigued; for the young man himself, as he will bear witness for me," said the speaker, pointing to Essper, "declared, that for four-and-twenty hours he had scarcely been off his horse; and had not, in that time, tasted food!"
"Yes! that was when you promised me the bed which the Vice-Principal of Molk slept in," said Essper; stamping with such violence, that the old Judge started with fright, and dropped his spoon! His Worship looked angrily round, and Vivian again commanded Essper to be silent.
​"Go on with your story," said the Judge to the defendant.
"Hear me speak, your Worship," said Essper; "he'll never have done. When once a man begins lying, he'll tell the truth on Tuesday se'nnight. The whole affair is this———"
"This person must be kept silent," said the Judge. "You go on," continued he, pointing to the innkeeper, who was crossing himself most devoutly.
"The Mother of Mercy forgive me I" said the innkeeper, "if I have said aught unconsciously to hurt the feelings of any fellow-christian. If the tale told me were untrue, is it my fault that I gave it credit? My wife and I, pitying their sad condition, determined to exert ourselves for their relief. Our house, by the blessing of St. Florian! was filled. A respectable Bohemian family, who, from the treatment they have invariably received, consider our house their home, had taken up their lodgings with us for the night. Of a verity, we had no beds remaining, except the one in which I and my wife repose ourselves after ​our hard day's labour; and another which was made on purpose for, and scarcely ever used by any persons except, our two dear and lamented children!"
"A mouldy cradle!" bawled Essper George.
"Our two lovely children slept together in it!" said the innkeeper, with a softened voice and a starting tear.
"A crib, I suppose?" said the Judge.
"Verily a large sized crib! excuse this emotion," said mine host, swallowing a sob; "it is a subject on which I unwillingly dwell."
In this manner were nearly two hours occupied; the pious post-master calmly and charitably explaining his conduct, defending himself against every count of the indictment, and never once giving way to an irritable expression, although constantly interrupted and abused by Essper George; whose rage, and mortification, at the complexion which the history of his ill-treatment was assuming before the Judge, exceeded all bounds.
"Gentlemen!" said the Judge, when the innkeeper had finished, "it appears to me ​that this poor man's case has been a little misunderstood by you. In the first place, it seems, that far from desiring you to stay under his roof, your lodging there must have put him to very serious inconvenience. I find that his wife, who had been hard worked the whole day, and was, moreover, far from being in strong health, was obliged to give up her bed for the accommodation of her unexpected guest; and what more could your servant desire, than the bed in which their own children were accustomed to repose? As to the charge for your meals, and wine, and the basket of provisions, you are little aware at how much cost and labour we, who live among these mountains, procure even the commonest provisions, now rendered doubly scarce by the excessive heat and drought of the season. (Here the Judge poured out another cup of chocolate.) Remember also, that this is not a large city, and that we are obliged to provide at the beginning of the week for the wants of the remainder. You have probably, therefore, deprived this poor family of their ​sustenance for six days to come. Consider also, that it was not necessary for the post-master to put himself to the expense of living in so large a house, and that it was entirely for the accommodation of respectable families travelling from Bohemia and Bavaria, and other places, that he has incurred the cost of maintaining this establishment! It is only fair, therefore, that you should properly remunerate him for the conveniences which, in such a country, you could hardly have expected to find, and for the extraordinary risk incurred by this hazardous investment of his capital. Respecting the treatment of which you complain, from his wife, I put it to your own feelings, as a gentleman, whether great allowance should not be made in a case where such exertions and sacrifices may have produced a slight degree of irritability and discomposure—the natural result of female delicacy, and overpowering fatigue? For her husband, the present defendant, I should feel I was not discharging my duty, if I did not declare that this is the first time I have heard word of complaint against him by man, woman, or child; ​and if I were called upon to pick out the most civil, obliging, conscientious, liberal, charitable, unassuming, and thoroughly honest, and truly pious man within my district, it is this worthy person whom I now see before me; and whose demand I feel it incumbent upon me to insist, shall this moment be satisfied. My clerk is not in the way just now, but his fee you may leave upon the table: it is twenty per cent, upon the amount of the disputed sum. There is also one dollar due for the warrant; which, though not issued in the present instance, must be accounted for to Government."
Vivian threw down the sum in disgust, without deigning to reply; but Essper George was not so dignified. His rage was ludicrously excessive.
"I knew it would end so! You would not let me speak. Don't pay, Sir—don't pay! The fat rascal is the worst of the two; and whenever I prosecute a person for stealing clothes off a naked man, or a beard from a ​child's elbow, I'll bring them before you, and they shall be found guilty!"
"Fellow!" said the magistrate, "do you know who I am?"
"Know you!" screamed Essper, with a malicious laugh: "know you! The very sight of you does my heart good. How did that Rudesheimer at Coblentz agree with you? I think you got a glass when the bottle was empty? Oh! you old cheat! this is not the first time that you have wanted to make honest travellers pay for what they did not order! Shame! shame!"
"You loose-tongued rascal!" said the agonised and choking magistrate, as he shuffled back his chair, and threw his cup of chocolate at Essper's head. The knave, however, skilfully avoided it, and ran down the court after his master. His agility baffled the exertions of the gouty judge, who thinking he was fairly rid of his tormentor, determined to forget his mortification in his per centage. He had just reseated himself in his easy chair, ​and was spinning the dollar on his thumb, revelling in his peculation, when Essper poked his head in at the opened casement.
"I forgot one thing!" said he, in an exulting whisper. "Pray—how is your—Grandfather?"