# The Rocky Mountain Saints/Chapter 50

* POLYGAMY IN UTAH
* Preached from the Tabernacle
* A Terrible Trial to Women
* Degradation of the Sex
* Ancient Hebrew Examples adduced
* "Living Martyrs" to a Debasing Doctrine
* Brigham Young on Polygamy
* Second and "following" Wives
* Marriage Rites among the Mormons
* The First Wife is not asked one Question
* Impossibility of Happiness in Polygamy.
In two preceding chapters the history of the introduction of Polygamy among the Saints is given in extenso, illustrating the dubious path in which the Prophet Joseph had to tread in order to establish in his Church the usages of the Orientals. The reader has now presented to his consideration the "peculiar Institution" in the fulness of its glory in Zion; where there is nothing to hinder "the Lord" from manifesting His favour to Israel, and where the faithful can sit under their own vines and fig-trees, none daring to make them afraid.
Joseph had been persecuted, but Brigham was now beyond the reach of the oppressor. The former had the statute of bigamy before his eyes in Illinois; the latter was master of the situation in Utah, and was determined there should be no statute on the subject. Marriage was no longer a civil contract; it was to be a sacrament of the Church, and a sacred tenet of the faith. But Utah nevertheless was a portion of the United States domain, and it was uncertain what Congress might wish to do with this innovation upon Christianity. Joseph had only risked the faith of a few of the Saints, and his communications were confidential. Brigham had to cope with a government, and his mind grasped the conclusion that there was power in numbers. To punish individuals for an infraction of law was an easy matter; to deal with a whole people was quite another thing. The utmost publicity had now to be given to ​"Celestial Marriage," and an open parade of a "plurality of wives" was a virtue, and not an indiscretion.
The Tabernacle in winter, and the Bowery in summer, were to resound with arguments in favour of Polygamy. The world was rapidly hastening to a close, and there were multitudes of spirits in the other world anxiously waiting for honourable bodies in which they could tabernacle in the flesh. The Gentiles were corrupt, and those ethereal spirits would rather anxiously wait for the favours of the Saints than come down to the palaces of the unbelieving, accursed Gentiles. The argument was lucid, and it appealed to the grandest sentiment of humanity—self-abnegation. The woman who viewed with the most searching jealousy the wandering of her idol's love, could in time listen to argument and could reproach her suffering soul with selfishness if it refused to endure for the weal of another. She loved herself, and her soul's idol was beyond price, but it was her duty to make her life a sacrifice! The Greatest of all the human family had given His life to redeem; why could not she help to save? Such was the argument in Utah, on the public recognition of Polygamy, and, if not in the words of the preacher, it was at least in the soul of the woman.
Whoever has read debasement in the women of Utah, has done them injustice. Some there may be who are devoid of refined sentiment and the nobler instincts of their sex; but no women in history ever deserved more respect and sympathy than the true women among the Mormons. They have not only made the sacrifice of the most vital principle of their souls, but they have voluntarily submitted to a life of daily affliction, for the sake of an article of faith.
Could the same judgment be passed upon the teachers as upon the taught, the people of Utah could rank with the highest martyrs of history; but the opposite has been the fact, and, while the women have endured the most heart-piercing woes, the men have been taught that he was the noblest who valued the companionship of soul the least—that his wife was but the mother of his children. Following this inspiration, she has been often degraded to the level of the inferior animals; and, in the familiar language of one of the most elevated of the apostles, they thought "no more of taking another woman" than ​they did of "buying another cow." Whatever there has been and is higher than this conception of ownership in and the ability of women among the Mormon men, it is traceable to their better instincts and to their reminiscences of a Christian motherhood. The tendency of the matrimonial teachings of inspired tongues has been degrading to the sexes, placing the domestic circle on a level with the farm-yard.
The philosophy of nomadic ancient Israel is glorified in Utah:
"Lo, children and the fruit of the womb are a heritage and gift that cometh of the Lord.
"Like as the arrows in the hand of a giant; even so are the young children.
"Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, when they speak with the enemies in the gate."—Psalm cxxvii.
Harassed, despoiled, and driven in Missouri and Illinois by superior numbers, long years of isolation in the mountains were prayed for that Israel might grow and multiply, and cover the earth with cities, and become a great people that no man could number. Now the glories of the faith are artistically portrayed, and weepingly the women of Utah promise to obey; and from the moment that promise is given the woman lives in constant dread of the coming day when her husband has to become a practical polygamist.
The hallowed love, the sacred reminiscences of their happy years of undivided union, confront the threatened intrusion of another's presence at the home fireside. The wifely heart revolts at the invasion of the privacy of her domestic empire, and she maddens at the thought that he who was to her "sacred in person," and "all her own," was one day to become to another what he has been to her. Peace flies from her bosom, and in her soul commences a fearful struggle between obedience to the supposed commandment of Deity, taught by the Mormon priesthood, and the assertions of a nobler deity within her own nature. These contending influences wage unceasing warfare, and "the faith" slowly but surely gains the ascendancy over "the woman," and she yields—vanquished in bewilderment. Devotion to her husband, the dread of "offending God," and the fear of the anathemas of a creed, combine to conquer her. ​She resigns herself to her fate, and finally consents that her husband should take another wife. What a horrible ordeal! The night of gloom overhangs her path; life loses its charms; the sacred fireside circle is broken; she grieves; she mourns; and her once-gushing, affectionate heart withers and dies within her bosom.
Some women in Utah have for years lived in this torture, crucifying themselves in every thinking moment of their lives! Who can tell the bitter misery felt by such unhappy souls ? What days of silent grief and bitter tears; what long, sleepless nights of harrowing thought; what terrible imaginings! Disconsolate, poor, lacerated hearts, desolate women; afraid of every coming hour; fearful of what they might see or hear of husbands who had sworn at the bridal-altar to be to them the undivided companions of their lives! The story of such women can never be told—but in two words their condition can be written: Living martyrs!
In its overburdened grief many a soul has craved the boon of death, and welcomed the thought of that hour when the cold grave would conceal them from the gaze of the living. And all this mourning comes from a "revelation of Jesus Christ," commanding obedience to polygamy, with the terrible threat of damnation and cursing to the rebellious! How He must have changed!—He, who was to woman so gentle, so forbearing, so loving in His nature—now so fierce and unrelenting! But, it is claimed that the dread of polygamy is worse than its practical experience, and that women can "get used to it," and become happy under its rule.
To assert that any true woman living in polygamy is in heart and soul satisfied and happy, is to simply libel her nature. A true wife craves the constant love of her husband, as naturally as the living body craves its daily food. His companionship is her little world. And the more affectionate and pure he is, the more she abhors his familiar association with another. Her instincts rebel against the institution, and he misrepresents all womanhood who charges her opposition to it, as is frequently done in Utah, to the baser motive expressed in the vulgar taunt of "desiring a man to herself."
The women are, however, not alone the sufferers by polyg​amy. The intelligent of the fair sex among the Mormons will readily admit this, and some even go so far as to pity their husbands, and to extend to them the genuine sympathy of their hearts, though his polygamy has been their own curse. Whatever else it has achieved, Polygamy has at least been impartial with the sexes, and while it has martyred the woman, it has not failed to enslave the men. Brigham openly avows the great trial of his soul when "the order" was first taught to him by Joseph Smith. Heber used to tell about his "shedding tears enough to float a ship," when he was "commanded" to take another wife. The locks of another apostle are said to have silvered in a night, from mental anguish; and of another and another could be told tales of terrible struggles between love and duty. No intellectual man of soul and heart ever took a second wife without passing through "the valley of the shadow of death." He would be dead to every impulse of manhood, who could gaze upon the sacrifice of his faithful wife, and the outrage to every sensibility of her nature, without sharing in her affliction. But it ends not with the second bridal-day.
From the day that Sarah turned Hagar from her door, and drove her into the wilderness with her offspring, there never was a time in woman's history when she desired to share her husband with another woman, and there never was a day when that husband could please two wives. The relationship is false. In their out-door occupations, cares of business, and obligations, the men have not the hours of mental suffering that the quiet domestic life induces; but they are seldom free from anxiety, even in the midst of business, and never will be, so long as manhood and appreciation of woman exist in their bosoms. With his first wife he has, it may be, grown from youth to hoary age, and the twain have become one. They have lived in each other's confidence, known each the other, and in everything were undivided. Another wife is added to the sacred union, and the happiness of life is fled. By the covenant of marriage, the second wife is to be to the husband another second self, and, desiring to be just, he seeks to avoid every appearance of partiality—but he fails. There are reminiscences clustering around the life of the first wife that are not yet ​created around the other, though in name, profession, and intent, they are equal partners in the triple domesticity. The long, varied, and changing scenes of life's warfare that made the first twain one in everything, still remain—affection is very indivisible.
A youthful wife realizes that she too has affections that crave a return of love: she is entitled to it—she demands it. When, in the fickle fortune of marriage, three, four, five, or ten hearts blend as one, greatly blessed are they; but when their individualities are distinct, the life of a patriarch is unenviable.
In the isolated life of the Mountains, the elders made no concealment of their courtships. To the Tabernacle, the theatre, and the ballroom, the maiden in her teens would be escorted by the already-married intended husband of three times her years, with all the attention and delicacy of a romantic youth. From this charge, none of the brethren would claim exemption. There is conveyed in the institution a feeling of man's superiority, and the more ignorant the intended patriarch the more vulgar is its parade. Finally the day of sacrifice arrives, and is thus sketched by the apostle Pratt:
"When the day set apart for the solemnization of the marriage ceremony has arrived, the bridegroom, and his wife, and also the bride, together with their relatives, and such other guests as may be invited, assemble at the place which they have appointed. The scribe then proceeds to take the names, ages, native towns, counties, States, and countries of the parties to be married, which he carefully enters on record. The President, who is the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator over the whole Church throughout the world, and who alone holds the "keys" of authority in this solemn ordinance (as recorded in the 2d and 5th paragraphs of the Revelation on Marriage), calls upon the bridegroom, and his wife, and the bride, to arise, which they do, fronting the President. The wife stands on the left hand of her husband, while the bride stands on her left. The President then puts this question to the wife:
"Are you willing to give this woman to your husband to be his lawful and wedded wife for time and for all eternity? If you are, you will manifest it by placing her right hand within the right hand of your husband.'
"'The right hands of the bridegroom and bride being thus joined, the wife takes her husband by the left arm, as if in the attitude of walking; the President then proceeds to ask the following question of the man:
"'Do you, brother' (calling him by name), 'take sister' (calling the bride by her ​name) 'by the right hand, to receive her unto yourself, to be your lawful and wedded wife, and you to be her lawful and wedded husband, for time and for all eternity, with a covenant and promise, on your part, that you will fulfil all the laws, rites, and ordinances, pertaining to this holy matrimony, in the new and everlasting covenant, doing this in the presence of God, angels, and these witnesses, of your own free will and choice?'
"The bridegroom answers, 'Yes.'—The President then puts the question to the bride:
"'Do you, sister' (calling her by name), 'take brother' (calling him by name) 'by the right hand, and give yourself to him, to be his lawful and wedded wife for time and for all eternity, with a covenant and promise on your part that you will fulfil all the laws, rites, and ordinances, pertaining to this holy matrimony, in the new and everlasting covenant, doing this in the presence of God, angels, and these witnesses, of your own free will and choice?'
"The bride answers, 'Yes.' The President then says:
"'In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and by the authority of the Holy Priesthood, I pronounce you legally and lawfully husband and wife for time and for all eternity: and I seal upon you the blessings of the holy resurrection, with power to come forth in the morning of the first resurrection, clothed with glory, immortality, and eternal lives; and I seal upon you the blessings of thrones, and dominions, and principalities, and powers, and exaltations, together with the blessings of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; and say unto you, Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth, that you may have joy and rejoicing in your posterity in the day of the Lord Jesus. All these blessings, together with all other blessings pertaining to the new and everlasting covenant, I seal upon your heads, through your faithfulness unto the end, by the authority of the Holy Priesthood, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.'
"The scribe then enters on the general record the date and place of the marriage, together with the names of two or three witnesses who were present."
The reader will observe that, in this ordinance of polygamic sealing, the husband and the young bride are asked each the question, are you "doing this in the presence of God, angels, and these witnesses, of your own free will and choice," while the question put to the wife carefully avoids the issue that would instantly arise between her wounded, bleeding heart, and the falsehood that would be forced from her trembling lips if she essayed to utter that it was of her "own free will and choice." That poor "victim" is but asked if she has been subdued and is "willing to give this woman" to her husband.
​No man ever regained his senses after that act of sealing without feeling that he had fatally wounded the wife of his youth. It is a cruelty that he realizes as well as his wife, and he, the nominal but innocent cause of her wrong, seeks to assuage her sufferings by greater kindness and tenderness. But no smooth words, nor the soul-speaking affection of his eye, can heal that wound. It steals her life away, and in her true heart she curses the day she ever heard of Mormonism. For the man who realizes and shares the misery of his wife, the future life is but "a living lie." Were the man an angel, it would be impossible for him to act justly towards two or twenty wives, and divide to each the full measure of her rights.
Brigham Young, with all the commanding influence of his position, could not silence the murmuring within his own domicile until he threatened to divorce all his wives, and told them, that, if they despised the order of Heaven, he would pray that the curse of the Almighty might be close to their heels, and follow them all the day long, and even all that violent language has not attained the end; their hearts revolt as much to-day, though they have schooled themselves into submission and silence.
Polygamy may be the marital relations of the sexes in heaven, it may be the "Celestial Law" of the gods—of that there is no discussion or dreaming; but one thing is certain, that it is not the true marital relation of the sexes upon the earth. Thirty years of its practice under the most favourable circumstances have stamped it as a withering curse.
* ↑ The Seer, p. 32.
* ↑ It was the Author's intention when he commenced this work, to give a complete exposé of polygamy, exhibiting that institution in all its bearings and influences upon the social life of the people of Utah; but an unlooked-for incident induced Mrs. Stenhouse to publish what she knew of polygamy. Had that book been written by any other authoress, reference would unquestionably have been made to it in this work; the Author, therefore, sees no impropriety in acknowledging that his wife has produced a work which only a woman could write, and superior to anything which he himself could offer to the public, and he refers the reader to "A Lady's Life among the Mormons" (Russell Brothers, New York), as a full and unreserved "Exposé of Polygamy in Utah."
* ↑ Sermon, July 14, 1855, in the Bowery, Provo.