# Memorials of Capt. Hedley Vicars, Ninety-seventh Regiment by Marsh, Catherine, 1818-1912/Chapter 6

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VI.— FRIENDSHIP.
"By friendship I suppose you mean the greatest love, and the greatest usefulness, and the most open communication, and the noblest sufferings, and the most exemplary faithfulness, and the severest truth, and the heartiest counsel, and the greatest union of minds of which brave men and women are capable."—Jeremy Taylor.
Hitherto it is from the testimony of others that this imperfect outline has been given of the life and character of Hedley Vicars. But now it was to be our happy privilege to gather from personal observation, and in the enjoyment of no common Christian friendship, the blessed proofs of how exceeding abundant was the grace of Christ towards him.
In the month of October of the same year, my father, my sister, and I were renewing a friendship of former days by a visit to Terling-place. A letter was received on the morning of the 11th by Lady Rayleigh, promising a visit from her brother, which caused such a tumult of joyous excitement at the breakfast-table, and so much shouting and clapping of hands among the children, as soon as the news was made known to them, that, in my ignorance, I supposed the young soldier had only just arrived from Nova Scotia. At dinner that day he was beside me. Not knowing anything of his character, I ventured rather cautiously at first, on subjects one would fain have the faithful courage to speak of to every fellow-creature. At the first touch of the chord, his pleasant countenance lighted up, and his eyes glistening as I told him of a remarkable instance of the grace of God connected with my father's first sermon.
​On his renewing the conversation in the evening, I said, half-inquiringly, "These subjects seem to have an interest for you?"
"Nothing in the world is worth calling interesting by their side," he answered, with a fervour which told its own story; and then gave me an outline of the manner in which he had worked the great change in his own soul. With forceful simplicity he told the point of the story; how the words, "The blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin," became the sheet-anchor of his soul; adding, "Thus was I born again of the Word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever."
The next day he walked with my father about the gardens; and it was pleasant to see the affection which at once sprung up between the "veteran of the cross" and the young soldier of the cross and of his country.
From that visit we date a friendship which cannot be replaced on earth, and the prolonged enjoyment of which is reserved for heaven.
Early in November he spent a few days with us at Beckenham, and the visit proved to us indeed "a time of refreshing." On the Sabbath he taught twice in the school, and between the afternoon and evening services visited a stranger afflicted with paralysis, then lodging in the village; a man of considerable intellectual cultivation, inquiring after truth, but fettered by a long habit of scepticism. For him the singleness, honesty, and fervour of Hedley Vicars' character had a peculiar charm. The few strong, earnest words which he said in explanation of a passage of Scripture, and the simplicity and reality of his prayer, produced an impression which was never effaced, and was deepened by every succeeding visit.
After the schoolroom service, he addressed and prayed with several Railwaymen, then working at the Crystal Palace grounds, who assembled for a ​"cottage reading" every Sunday evening, and conducted the little service with them on the following evening in the servants' hall at the Rectory. The next day he went to read and pray with a Roman Catholic who was then seriously ill, and saw him again, once or oftener, on each succeeding visit to us.
Not many weeks after the news of Captain Vicars' death had spread a general sorrow over Beckenham, this man expressed a wish to attend one of the evening cottage readings. "I have thought so much of the Bible," he said, "since Captain Vicars told me what it was to him, and how those words about the blood of the Lord Jesus gave him peace."
On the day just referred to, he met at dinner a young naval officer, who was then at the outset of his Christian course. It seemed to be the easiest thing possible for Hedley Vicars to fall in with the current of those first fresh feelings, and to show where lay the rocks and quicksands to be avoided. The union of becoming seriousness with perfect ease and simplicity in this religious conversation seldom failed to engage the interest of those who met him. His genuine humility, combined, as it was, with manly frankness and a cheerful, spirited address, gave a charm to all that he said.
But the thing which distinguished him from the generality even of other Christians, was the close, personal, friendlike knowledge he possessed of his Saviour. "Some of his expressions, in conversation and correspondence," remarked one of his friends, "almost startled me into the inquiry — Is it only a difference in degree, or wholly a difference in kind, from these faint prayers of mine, when he speaks as if he had not only spoken to his Saviour, but had been answered back again by a living friend?"
Before his next visit to us, we met him several times in London. There we found him teaching in ​Lord Shaftesbury's Ragged Schools, visiting repentant thieves, and diving into the depths of metropolitan wretchedness with city missionaries. Love to the crucified Saviour, who had loved him and given Himself for him, constrained this young soldier of Christ to consecrate every power as a living sacrifice to God. The sense of duty, always strong, doubly so in his renewed nature, seemed again almost lost in his high and deep sense of the privilege of such a service, and in a yearning desire to bring others to rejoice with himself in a free pardon through the blood of the Lamb.
TO HIS YOUNGEST SISTER.
"Much do I wish that I had taken more advantage of our being together to have spoken to you on the great subject. What I want is to persuade you that there is reality in religion, and that true happiness is to be found in it, and in it alone. Give your heart to Christ, my darling sister, and you will never repent your choice. Let us pray earnestly that we may be delivered from the power of sin, that our evil tempers may be mortified and subdued, and that we may more closely resemble our Redeemer."
"When I left you, or rather you left me, I proceeded to search for the London Reformatory for Thieves, in Smith-street, Westminster; and after going through it, I offered to pay a few words to the inmates about the Saviour of sinners. Just then, however, their attendance was required at a public meeting, which was opened by Lord Shaftesbury. Their 'hall' is but a small one, so not many people could be present. The reformed thieves numbered about a hundred and twenty. I must say that I felt strongly inclined to make a muff of myself when they sang the anthem, 'I will arise and go to my Father.' When they had finished, I was obliged to leave, not to lose the train."
​Soon after his second visit to us, I received the following letter:
"Terling-Place, December 15. "My Dear Friend — In answer to your kind and encouraging letter, I cannot begin otherwise than by thanking Him 'who ordereth all things,' for his goodness in having so providentially led me to Terling at the time you were there, and thus a friendship was formed which, I trust, will last for ever. In every blessing I receive, I would raise my heart in gratitude and praise to that God who has poured such mercies upon me.
"In this, my first letter to you, I would be candid and unreserved. I do not wish to be thought better than I am, but rather desire to be looked upon as but a young soldier in Christ. When I bring to remembrance the years I have spent in sin, when I gloried in being the ringleader in every species of dissipation and folly, the thought has struck me that it were presumptuous in me now to rank myself amongst the followers of the Lamb. But in doing so, I would only conceal my unworthiness in the spotless robe of my Redeemer's perfect righteousness.
"Notwithstanding the advantages of Christian education and godly parents, the dictates of reason and the remorse of conscience, I lived for many years in total forgetful ness of a death-bed and a judgment day. But that God, who might so justly have cut me off in the full career of rebellion, at length (and oh! how feebly can I express my sense of his goodness) opened my eyes; and that stubborn heart, which neither the terrors of hell could deter, nor the wrath of God restrain from recklessly pursuing the path of destruction, He softened and changed by showing me the love and tenderness I was despising and trampling under foot. I can never forget the intensity of my feelings when first I saw my Saviour on the cross, ​nor the flood of joy which burst in upon my soul when I read in his flowing blood full pardon for all that was past.
"Years have gone by since then, but I have been preserved by his grace and kept by his power from falling away, and thus dishonoring the Christian profession. I need scarcely tell you that I have never had cause to repent the transfer of my allegiance from the Destroyer to the Saviour of men. Surely, having been forgiven so much I ought to love much, and unite with others in making known the Redeemer's love to those who are ignorant and out of the way. And what a balm tor the weary and heavy laden, what a cure for the guilty is offered alike to all in the Gospel of Christ! And oh, what a glorious truth when brought home to the anxious heart by the Holy Spirit — what a sweet and precious doctrine is there set forth! Full and free forgiveness, perfect acceptance and assured reconciliation with God; and this already effected by Divine mercy, and sealed with the sufferings and death of the Son of God.
"Mr. ——'s letter delighted me much. I thank God for the good work which has been so evidently begun in his heart. (Oh that every soldier and sailor knew the love of Christ!) I have already prayed for him more than once, and trust that the oftener I do so the more fervent may be my petitions. Such wonderful answers as you have had to prayer for the souls of others will, I trust, lead me (and you too) more frequently to the Throne of Grace, and to rely more implicitly upon the promise of Him who changeth not. 'If any two of you shall agree upon earth touching anything that ye shall ask, it shall be granted you of my Father which is in heaven.'
"My leave is rapidly drawing to a close; on the 31st I rejoin my regiment. Perhaps we shall not meet for a long time, be this as it may, I can never forget my friends at Beckenham, nor the happy days I have spent with them.
​"I shall have much pleasure in calling on Major Halkett as soon as I am at Canterbury. The manuscript account of Dr. Keeve's illness and death I will leave at Miss Leycestor's as I pass through London. It has deeply interested me. May you have many such crowns of rejoicing in the day 'when the Lord Jesus shall come to make up his jewels.'
Give my affectionate and grateful regards to Dr. Marsh. What a bright and noble specimen is he of the Christian soldier — the veteran of the Cross; and what an encouragement is it to those who are only 'beginners,' to see such a proof of the reality of religion, and its transforming power hi the heart and life. Give my Christian love to all, and remember me to the sick man whom I went to see. Tell him that I pray for him, and trust that his fears and doubts may soon be dispelled, and that he may be enabled to rejoice in God his Saviour, 'Looking unto Jesus' is the secret of peace.
"In bringing this long letter to a close, might I ask you to pray for me ! God bless you, and make your efforts abundantly successful in bringing sinners to a Saviour, shall be the humble prayer of your grateful and sincere friend,
"Hedley Vicars." During the illness of my sister in January, 1854, we felt the full value of his Christian sympathy. Earnestly did he pray for her recovery, and thankfully rejoiced with us in the answer which God gave to our prayers.
Before our anxiety was over, he was seeking kindred help from us. A severe attack of illness under which his mother was suffering weighed heavily on his heart, though it did not shackle the freeness and almost daily communication of his Christian sympathies.
TO HIS MOTHER.
"Earnestly have I prayed, dearest, best of mothers, ​that as is thy day so may thy strength be. What a blessed comfort it is that we have an open Bible within reach when struck clown by sickness or affliction; for at such dark seasons, if it were not for that precious book, we might doubt that 'God is love.' But surely there is balm for every woe there. 'All things work together for good to them that love God.' 'That which we know not now we shall know hereafter.' When Job, complaining of his friends' cruelty, declared his misery to them and besought them to have pity upon him, for the hand of God had touched him, suddenly he finds comfort elsewhere, and in joyous triumph exclaims, 'Oh that my words were now written! Oh that they were printed in a book, that they were graven with an iron pen in the rock for ever — for I know that my Redeemer liveth!'"
A letter to his eldest sister, a few days afterwards, expressed the overflowings of his thankful heart for the mercy of his mother's restoration. Towards its close, he thus wrote:
"Lot us earnestly pray for each other that wo may have that vitality and love which a seen and accepted Christ alone can kindle within our hearts. We must watch and pray, lest the things of this world draw off our hearts from the one thing needful, and make us forget that here we have no continuing city. But though we are weak, Christ is strong, and his strength is made perfect in our weakness. Let us look to our incarnate God, who, for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross and despised the shame.
"Now, to tell you some news of my daily life. On Wednesday I drove out with Major Halkett, 4th Light Dragoons, to Chilham Castle, and we had pleasant religious conversation on our way. The castle crowns the hill of the village of Chilham, and looks very old. Mr. Wildman was not at home, but we saw Mrs. Wildman. She is a delightful Christian. How invigorating it is to meet with such. She took us to see ​the old church. Some of the epitaphs in the churchyard were very absurd. An old lady signifies to the world that she 'died fully persuaded of the many virtues of her dear husband; and others were of similar import. The park and the views from it are beautiful. We drove back well pleased with our visit.
"On Thursday I was dining with a nice family, four miles from Canterbury, and met a large party. I noticed opposite to me a very pleasant-looking fellow, and was struck with his quiet, calm manner and countenance.
"After we had adjourned to the drawing-room, I asked him if he belonged to the Army prayer-union? and when he said, 'Yes,' we became friends at once. He said 'There is a man in the 97th whom I want to know: his name is Vicars.' I replied: There 'is a man in the Rifle Brigade whom I want to know: it is Captain Hammond' We were at each other's service!
"On Saturday he came to call upon me, and stayed for some time. He is a delightful fellow. I sent for Cay, and we had a, happy time of communion together. It is a great blessing having such a brother officer as Cay. He is one of a thousand. We often walk together, and he generally comes up to my barrack-room after mess, and we read the Bible, converse about heavenly things, and end in prayer."
"Canterbury, Monday Morning.
"My Dear Friend— As my last hurried note was but a poor apology for a letter, I must write a few lines to-day. 'They that feared the Lord spake often to one another; and what time more fitting and appropriate in which to express the thoughts of our hearts towards Jesus, than just after the sweet and refreshing enjoyment of his day? For when is the fragrant dew of his Holy Spirit poured so largely on our souls as on those days of 'heaven upon earth?"
"I remember, alas! too well, the time when I dreaded the return of Sunday, and considered it both dull and tedious, but now surely no day is so cheering and delightful, and there is none that passes away so quickly. I recollect, that for several months, the only inward sanctifying proof I could, on examination, bring to assure myself that I had indeed been made an 'heir of Christ,' was this longing desire for the Lord's day.
"You will be surprised to hear that I (a red hot Protestant!) went to the Roman Catholic chapel, yesterday morning. Yes! but it was only as a Protestant officer, in charge of the Roman Catholic soldiers. The Weather was raw, bleak, and damp—fit emblem of the service, which was formal, dreary, and icy cold. I felt very much oppressed, and sick at heart, as I thought of the poor, misguided, deluded men who knelt around; even keeping silence was wearisome to me, for I longed to speak to them of Jesus, and bid them look to the Lamb of God, the Saviour of Sinners. I thought to myself, too, while listening to a mere moral essay, 'and is it to such a man you confess your sins, and forget Jesus, the Sinner's Friend? thus flying to 'broken cisterns, when the living fountain is ever near.' I returned home, feeling quite wretched. It was too late to go to church, but I enjoyed a happy season in my barrack-room; when I did not forget you, and all your friends, ​including the navvies! I went in the afternoon to Mr. White's church, where I heard an excellent sermon from the words 'Put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof;' and again in the evening, when Mr. Lee Warner preached most powerfully on the text, 'I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand in the latter days upon the earth, and though after my skin, worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God, whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another.' Is it notg a wonderful prophecy? and how overflowing with comfort and consolation for us. With such a bright vision unfolded to the believer, the 'captive exile may well hasten to be free.'
"I met Major Halkett, on coming out of church, and we walked home together. I had a very pleasant conversation with him. He seems to have the cause of Christ at heart, and to be anxious to know more of the Saviour, experimentally. He asked me to drink tea with him; and I then saw Mrs. Halkett for the first time, as she was ill when I called. We spent a happy and profitable evening. I like them both very much.
"I had a delightful conversation a few days ago with a young corporal who left my Company a short time since. He has been, for nearly three years, a consistent follower of Christ; and I am proud to say he is still 'fighting the good fight of faith.' But we must expect to have the bitter as well as the sweet. I grieve to say that one, of whom I had great hopes, has deserted his colours, and gone back — poor fellow, I deeply pity him! I trust it may prove a warning lesson to me, to watch and pray more constantly and fervently, and 'take heed,' lest I also fall. But will never give up any man — Jesus did not give me up — and I hope and look to his being brought back to the fold.
​"What you said in your letter about spiritual pride, I feel to be very applicable to myself at times; but when I am so inclined to forget who and what I am, I endeavour to imagine the sinner standing alone, without a Saviour, and without the Holy Ghost; and the miserable, wretched thought quickly makes me to know and to feel my utter vileness and weakness!
"Give my Christian love to all; and 'Now our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and has given us everlasting salvation, and goo hope through grace, comfort your heart, and stablish you in every good word and work.'
"Ever your deeply grateful and sincere friend, "Hedley Vicars." Early in February he received intelligence of the alarming illness of his Uncle, Colonel Edward Vicars, R.E., at Gibraltar. He was on his way out to the East, intrusted with an important military command, when he was seized with an attack of paralysis, and was landed at Gibraltar, in danger of his life. His wife was not in health to undertake the voyage thither. In this extremity, Hedley, with characteristic unselfishness, at some personal inconvenience, immediately accepted the proposition to go in her place, and left England within a few hours of obtaining leave from his colonel.
From himself we should never have learnt how much of help and comfort, physically and spiritually, he afforded to the suffering invalid; though in every letter he expressed his admiration and respect for the heroic fortitude, and patient, thankful spirit, with which Colonel Vicars bore his mortifying disappointment and heavy affliction.
TO HIS MOTHER.
"Gibraltar, Feb. 11th "On board a Coal Hulk.
"Dearest Mother — Here I am, thank God, safe and sound; but, alas! in Quarantine for seven days. I sailed on the afternoon of the 4th, and had a prosperous voyage and most delightful weather. I was in hopes I should have had a cabin to myself, but in this I was disappnointed, having been double up with two cadets of the East India Company's Service. At first I was strongly inclined to avoid the reproach of the Cross, and not to make a mark of myself by kneeling down, or reading my Bible in their presence, before retiring to rest. But God gave me grace to overcome this. Still it shows me what a coward I am, that I should, even for an instant, lie tempted to hide my colours, and ashamed to confess Christ.
"My usual and favourite hour for meditation was after all the rest had turned into their berths, when, with none on deck but the officer of the watch and the steersman, I could walk and think undisturbed. We had fine moonlight nights, and the still grandeur of the heavens brought the Nineteenth Psalm forcibly to my mind.
"The Indus arrived in the Bay of Gibraltar on the evening of the 9th; and I learnt that the England was in quarantine with the Rock owing to the cholera; and that I should have seven days to wait before I could go on land. This detention was truly unfortunate; I am so impatient to get to my poor uncle. But in little things as well as great, we must learn to see the hand of God, and to remember that his infinite wisdom orders all."