# Memorials of Capt. Hedley Vicars, Ninety-seventh Regiment by Marsh, Catherine, 1818-1912/Chapter 10

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X.— THE DAY-STAR RISES
"Jesus in his heart,
Heaven in his eye,
And the world under his feet"
"The dawn of another life broke o'er his earthly horison, as in the eastern sky the first faint streak of the morning."
A paragraph in the public press, early in the month of January, 1855, conveyed the first intelligence that three officers had been found dead in their tents, from the effect of the fumes of charcoal, and that another was hanging between life and death. That other was Hedley Vicars.
He had returned to his tent chilled and weary, after a wild and snowy night in the trenches. Before throwing himself on his miserable bed of leaves and stones, he told his servant, as it was intensely cold, to make a small fire of charcoal in a dish, and to leave the door of the tent partially open, imagining that this would secure him from any injurious effect.
Providentially he was for out-lying picquet that afternoon. His servant, who had several times vainly endeavoured to awaken him, at last became alarmed, and went for the surgeon; he found him returning from the tent of another officer of the 97th, for whom, alas! his aid had come too late!
Hedley was carried into the open air, and laid on the snow. His men stood round him wringing their hands. Eagerly as brothers, tenderly as mothers, some assisted the medical Officer in chafing with ​snow the body of him they loved, in the hope of restoring vitality. At length, after the severer measures of blistering and bleeding had been resorted to, consciousness returned. He was spared for a nobler end, to fulfil his own choice — "As a soldier I will die!"
Three mails arrived in England, without any tidings of him — a time, it need scarcely be said, of heart-sickening suspense to those who loved him; it was like life from the dead when the tidings of his recovery came, in his own hand-writing. A serious illness had followed the accident. During its continuance the kindest attentions were lavished on him both by officers and men, and he was nursed with devoted tenderness by Lieutenant Douglas MacGregor, with whom of late his friendship had been ripening into an affection almost brotherly.
With reference to his preservation, he thus writes after a short account of the circumstances:
"January 8th, 1855.
"How I thank God that no one but myself slept in my tent that night; and surely I have cause to praise Him for His goodness in snatching me from the jaws of death. My first impulse, after raising my heart in gratitude to that God who had preserved me, was to see whether my little picture was safe at my heart; it was there. I took a long, long look at the sweet face of her, whose love had made summer of my gloomy winter; and thanked God again for having spared my life.
"January 12th, — I have just returned from a night in the trenches, having come off the sick list yesterday morning. Last Sunday I was unable to leave my tent, but I had a happy communion with Jesus in my solitude, and derived much pleasure from the fourteenth and fifteenth of St. John. How true is the ​peace of mind that cleaving to Christ brings to a man! There is nothing like it in this world. How could I be happy now, if I had not the assurance that I have a Saviour in heaven, whose precious blood was once shed for me, and who now ever liveth to make intercession for me? I find more and more every day how little I can depend upon the feelings of my own heart toward Him; but my constant comfort is, that Jesus Christ 'is the same yesterday, to-day, and for ever'
"We are still on the heights before Sebastopol, but there we seem to be at a stand-still. Every-day reports are rife that some thing great is intended; but the days pass by, and nothing is done. Meanwhile the men are suffering much, chiefly from the difficulty of procuring firewood, never plentiful, but now scarcely to be got at, on account of the snow; and yet they bear up nobly under all their privations (which are far worse than those of their officers), and scarcely a murmuring word ever falls from their lips. The warm clothing has at length arrived, so the army is better off now in that respect. 6,000 French troops reached the camp last week. They are close to us — all such lively, cheery fellows, although their tents are even worse than ours, and their dress is very thin and light.
"January 26th. — Owing to the rapidly decreasing numbers of the British army, the duty in the trenches is now very severe. But whenever I feel inclined to repine, I turn my eyes to the sufferings of my Redeemer on Calvary, and soon forget my hardships or count them as nothing. The day before yesterday, when I was in the trenches, I seated myself on a gun-carriage, and read with great comfort the first of Ephesians. My thoughts dwelt chiefly on those few cheering words, 'accepted in the Beloved.' Oh, what a healing balm there is here for a weary, heavy-laden sinner! How I long to have my heart ever ​alive to the soul-wants of my fellow-sinners, and to be unceasing in my exertions to win them to Jesus through the mighty power of the Holy Spirit! I am much better, but have not got back my strength. During my illness I was very happy, but for some days past my heart has seemed cold and dead. Yet I trust brighter hours are again dawning on my soul. What a lonely, gloomy time it is when Jesus withdraws the light of His countenance; but at all times I can and do trust in His love and tenderness; and I feel persuaded He is in mercy sending me this trial of faith to draw me nearer to himself.
"I have met Captain Vandeleur, of the Artillery, two or three times since I last wrote, and most delightful have those meetings been. My spirit has been refreshed by them. * * * He is coming to our camp every Sunday for prayer and Scripture reading. Yesterday was the Sabbath, and I enjoyed it much. I prayed with the sick in hospital, and distributed several of the prayers. The poor fellows liked them so much; many of them read them before I left the tent. Some of us met for prayer in the morning, during which lime a heavy firing was kept up. This, no doubt, would have rather interrupted a congregation at home, but we are quite used to it now.
"February 1st. — The weather has been very line the last three days. You cannot imagine in England what an influence this has on the spirits of all out here. I heard merry songs in the tents to-night. We expected an attack yesterday, but the enemy changed his mind. I had a very happy day, notwithstanding."
TO HIS MOTHER.
"My own Dearest Mother — I just take this hurried opportunity of writing you a few lines to tell you that, thank God! I am safe and well. The weather ​has been delightful for the last two or three days, although there has been a sharp frost morning and evening. The warm clothing has arrived, so we are all jolly and comfortable. I have been very weak since my illness, and unable to write, otherwise you may be sure, dearest mother, I should not have kept silence so long. There is positively nothing stirring here. Strong firing is kept up at intervals; but with this exception, one might really doubt whether we were in an enemy's country. The hospitals are still full, and many poor fellows die every week; but I trust we have seen the worst. The chaplain of our Division has gone to England invalided, and there is no one to take his place, so we have no service for sick or well: but I mean to ask the Colonel whether I may read in the hospital next Sunday. You will he glad, precious mother, when I tell you that, although there have been cloudy seasons for my soul, I have generally been enabled to rely on the faithfulness of Jesus; and I find such comfort in looking only to Him, and trusting in His intercession and atoning blood. Oh! darling mother, how lonely I feel when Jesus withdraws himself from me, and leaves me for a time to myself; but those blessed words in Isaiah have often restored happiness to myself — 'For a small moment I have forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer.' I enjoy the presence of Jesus often now, and when He is near me I feel happy and peaceful. May He become more precious to our souls each day, and may our hearts be changed gradually more and more after His likeness.
"God bless and keep you all. Give my best love to my dear grandmother, and tell her I remember her in my prayers."
"Sunday, February 11th.
"It is now eight o'clock at night, and I take up my pen to write to one whose letters always arouse me to think less of self, and more of Jesus and of the many dying sinners around me. May His presence ever refresh your own soul, giving you an earnest of those bright joys which are at God's right hand for evermore. This day of rest has nearly closed. Alas! there is but little perceptible difference between the Lord's-day and other days, here; and yet I love its return, and never feel so peaceful and joyous as on this heavenly day. Owing to the roughness of the weather, there was no service for the Division; but some of us met as usual in one of the tents, to raise our hearts in prayer and praise to our Heavenly Father. After the morning meeting I went to read and pray with the sick in hospital, and to distribute your new supply of books and tracts (with those sent by the Miss Leycesters, for which thank them with my kindest regards), and the blessed cards of prayer, for which the poor fellows are most eager. Oh! it is enough to make one's heart bleed to see, in one hospital after another, men dying without any kind friend or faithful minister to direct their hearts to the words of heavenly mercy, to point them to Jesus, and to refresh their souls by the water of life. But I do and will hope that many who have gone to their last home from this dreary camp are now before the Lamb, clothed with white robes. It is so great a comfort to believe this—and why should it not be true? May not many a broken and contrite heart, drawn by a dying Saviour's love to make known its wants to Him, and to lean its hopes of pardon and eternal life on the blood of the cross, have received the answer of peace direct from the mercy-seat (where, thank God! Jesus ever pleads)—'Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.'
"I hear much of a chaplain at Balaklava—Mr. ​Hayward — a man of devoted piety, who lives to win souls to Christ. He is universally respected and beloved.
"I have now before me your letter of the 26th, with its mention of past distress and present thankfulness to God for having spared my life. I could scarcely read it all for tears. May God shower His best blessings upon each of you for all your love to me. Will you tell all who have kindly prayed for me and given thanks for my preservation, in Beckenham and elsewhere, that I am deeply grateful for their Christian love. How thankful I am that I heard it first from you, before she saw it in the 'Times.'
"How uneasy you must have felt when you read in that interesting soldier's letter, that he hoped God would accept his own sufferings and the sufferings of his blessed Saviour in atonement for his sins, when the 'blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin.' God grant he may see that the way to join the blessed company who are arrayed with white robes and palms in their hands, is to wash his robes and make them white in the blood of the Lamb. Oh! ]nay he and multitudes of the British army show themselves, in the last great fight, good soldiers of Jesus Christ, and conquer through Him who loved them, and died for them, and washed away their sins in His own precious blood. Although I have often cause to grieve for my backwardness and slothfulness in the cause of Christ, yet my heart yearns over the souls of those who have not fled to the cleansing fountain of His blood for pardon and peace; and often, on rising from my knees, I have felt so powerfully drawn by the love of Christ that I have been almost on the point of going out through the camp to endeavour to impart to others the ground of my own peace and happiness. But then, too often, when face to face with those whom I know I shall meet at the last ​great day, has my courage failed and my tongue been silent. May God forgive me for the many times I have thus acted the coward, and been ashamed of Jesus, my dearest Friend, and Saviour, and King."
"Late at night, February 16th. — The camp is hushed in sleep, and nothing is to be heard save the occasional booming of artillery and rattle of musketry, or the rumbling of ammunition-waggons on their way to the batteries from Balaklava. I own to being rather tired after the duties of the day; but were I an hundred tunes more so, I could not rest till I have written to you in answer to your two last most precious letters. * * *
You ask my opinion as to our prospects. Do not believe for a moment that I take the gloomy view of matters which so many of the newspapers take. No! Although I have seen many a noble soldier laid low for ever, and regiments reduced to less than half their numbers by sickness since the 20th of last November, I have no fear of the eventual result, by the help of God. The French have a large army in the Crimea (80,000 or 90,000 men), and more regiments arriving every week. And what with these and 12,000 British, we are well able to defeat any Russian army Menschikoff or any of his generals may bring into the field against us. As to taking Sebastopol, that will be an affair of several months. But the warm weather will soon be coming now, and then day and night duty in the trenches will be rather good fun than otherwise. So cheer up, my own beloved friend and comforter. You have cheered us by telling us of the hope that a day of prayer is about to be granted. A great answer must and will follow; for does not Jesus himself say, 'If (even) two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.' May God the Holy ​Spirit pour abundantly upon all who shall bend the knee on that day the spirit of grace and supplication.
"God bless you, dearest and best of all my earthly friends, for all your care for the bodily and spiritual comfort of me and my regiment. The two boxes sent in December have arrived, and their contents are invaluable. How kind of that lady at Torquay to cut up her own fur cloak into chest-preservers for us soldiers! When they arrive, will it not be a sort of sacrilege to wear them? I should like to send my Christian love to her, and to those who meet with her to pray for us. Also, do not fail to give it to Mrs. Harrington. Tell her the needle-books, with scissors, &c., will be capital presents. I cordially appreciate her sympathy for us in not calling it by the good old name of 'housewife,' which would indeed have been a mockery of the miseries of a camp. . . . I am afraid one of my late letters, written rather in a desponding frame of mind (partly arising, perhaps, from a good deal of exertion whilst I was still very weak) will distress and make you anxious. I would not willingly cause you one moment's pain or uneasiness. I am now quite well and strong again, thank God! and full of peace and joy in my soul.
"I had another visit this evening from Mortimer Lovell. The duties of private soldiers are so heavy now that I hardly thouuht he would have come here again so soon from his distant part of the camp; and I don't believe he would, but tor your blessed letters to him, which he had left behind with me, and I know I would have gone any distance rather than have lost one of them. I took him in to my excavated abode, and we sat together by the fire for upwards of an hour. I really believe him to be now a true hearted, humble-minded Christian. He told me of his having distributed the cards of prayer and tracts which I gave him to the patients in the hospital tents, and that they ​were very glad to get them. He said that he often went to read by the bedside of the sick and dying, and he considered it a privilege do so. We read the first chapter of the First Epistle of St. Peter, and prayed together before parting. He said he had Christian fellowship with a man named Bush in his regiment, whom he believes to be walking with God. He was one of your navvies of Beckenham. Of course you hear from him sometimes; but a testimony of this sort, not intended for you, is very satisfactory."
Sunday night, 18th. — This has been a bright and happy day, in every sense of the words. We had Divine service [as usual in fine weather] near the Guards' encampment, but the Chaplain was not there, so there was no sermon. We therefore had our little service in the tent soon afterwards, and a few of us read and prayed together again this evening. My mansion is much more comfortable for this purpose since I excavated it; there is more room in it, and it is warmer. I have a fireplace now (what do you think of that?) which only smokes two or three times a-day, a small chair I bought at Balaklava, a little table made out of the bottom of an old cask; and as for my bed, with the depth of that fur! — why it is the envy of all who see it! And, although others beat me in having bedsteads and double tents, I think my house now the most comfortable in the camp; at all events, it will be when the candle-stove arrives. I shall never be in want of visitors then."
"February 21st.—One hurried line, to say the great box from Terling has arrived at length, including yours and L——'s. I cannot tell you what pleasure it gave me distributing the various things amongst the men — they seemd so grateful and delighted; and I am sure you will all have the blessing and prayers of many. Groups of them collect​ed outside the tents to read the hymns and tracts tacked so enticingly to the comforters and cuffs. What will you say to my theft? Aa Mr. Huleatt is gone to Scutari, I took the warm flannels for the sick, which you had addressed to him, into my own possession, and carried them to the hospitals; and if you had seen the grateful looks, it would have done your hearts good.
"Give my best regards to your cousins, Mrs. and Miss Austen, and thank them for their kind gifts for the men. And do not forget to tell the servants at the Rectory how much I valued their contributions [which quite affected me as I took them out for distribution]. Nares has sent me a box of useful articles, with several Testaments; also a tin of ready ground (!) coffee, which was highly acceptable. Little Kate's satisfactory present — of not warm but hot stockings — truly amused me. May God bless the dear child and the sweet young sister who is soon to leave England.
"Who do you think brought up with his own hands your last parcel of books and prayers? Duncan Matheson! He sat in my tent some time, and we enjoyed sweet communion for nearly an hour, and, before leaving, he prayed with me. Surely it may be said of him, he is 'a temple of the Holy Ghost.' I feel still the blessing of that visit in my soul."
TO HIS MOTHER.
"Camp before Sebastopol, Feb. 19th, 1855.
"My own Darling Mother—The long expected, box has at length arrived, and its contents are now safely stowed away in my tent, and as the various proofs of loving remembrance from you, dearest mother and from darling Clara, Mary, Georgie, and the children, met my eyes, I was so much affected that I nearly cried. The things you have sent me are just what I wanted.
​I intend distributing the comforters, &c., to my men, to-morrow; and I shall let them know who sent them, that you and my darling sisters may not lose their prayers. Thank you, my own most precious mother, for your affectionate remembrance of your son. This has been a delightful day. I took a short walk with one of my brother officers, to have a look from the height near which the Guards are encamped, rather to the right of us, at the Valley of the Tchernaya. Seldom have I seen a more beautiful view. The valley extends three or four mile across, from our advanced posts to the Russian position on the opposite side. It is partly under water now, but the enemy do not trust to that to prevent our making a nearer acquaintance with them, for I could plainly perceive, through a glass, a Cossack vidette on the look out near the stream, and I believe swarms of them occasionally come down into the plain.
"As I gazed on the magnificent scenery, on the wildness and grandeur of the distant lofty and snow-capped mountains, giving an additional charm to the surrounding loveliness, all around was so still and calm, that my thoughts wandered to more peaceful climes, and to that not far distant day, when Jesus shall return to this beautiful, although sin-marred world, when wars shall cease for ever, and love and holiness fill the breasts of His redeemed people. Oh, dearest mother, there are times when I long for this filial consummation of all things. What a blessed thing it will be to serve Christ, with a heart wholly renewed and made like unto His, when sin can no more afflict us with its presence, or bow us down under its intolerable burden. But it is not always thus that my soul longs and prints for that great advent of my glorious and precious Saviour. Oh that I were ever waiting and ready to welcome Him, on His triumphant return to a world, where once 'He took ​upon Him the form of a servant, to redeem and save sinners!
"May He give me grace to bear His cross, and to follow Him daily, be the way smooth or rough. I have often reason to grieve that my love for my Saviour is so small. But then His love 'passeth knowledge;' and in looking unto Him, and taking refuge at His cross, I find sure safety, rest and peace.
"On my return to my tent, who should I find there but Mr. Duncan Matheson, the soldiers' missionary from Balaklava. He remained with me for about an hour; and I do not think I over enjoyed a more heavenly conversation than with this man of God. We read the third chapter of Ephesians, and he prayed with me. When he left, I saw that three of my brother officers were standing close by; they must have heard that fervent prayer. Who knows but that one of them may be led to pray for himself to-night; God grant it! One of those three said to me the other day, when I was in his tent, 'Vicars, I dreamt about you the other night, and I thought you were speaking to me about religion.' 'Well, did you like it? I said. 'Yes, very much,' he replied. May the Lord give me courage to speak faithfully and earnestly, and bless my feeble words to his soul's good, for Jesus' sake."
TO LADY RAYLEIGH.
"Camp before Sebastopol, Feb. 23d, 1855.
"My own Most Beloved Sister — A thousand thanks for the welcome presents of warm clothing, &c., we have at length received. Everything I have yet seen is just what I wanted, even to the marmalade from darling little Clara, and Dick's and Charley's gifts. How kind of dear Edward to think of getting a fur-coat for me! I shall write to him as soon as it reaches me safe and sound. I told the men to whom ​they were chiefly indebted for them, and doubt not you will have the prayers of many grateful hearts offered up for you. I shall write to dearest Mary and Georgie by the next mail, to thank them for their share in the gifts. All my company are now, thanks to your kindness, well supplied with everything requisite to keep out the cold, and as the long boots for the troops have at last been issued, we are in want of nothing. How nice! the work of the villagers for the Terling soldiers. Many thanks for the books you sent me. We were much in want of sermons for our Sunday tent services. I have already read several pages of Mr. Walker's memoir, and like it exceedingly. Oh! that I had like him more of the 'mind that was, in Christ Jesus.' That the motive of my every action were love to Jesus, and a desire to promote His glory and hasten His kingdom! I want to forget self and ever to bear in mmd that I have been bought with a price, that I should glorify God in my body and spirit, which are His. I want to have more zeal and energy in the Redeemer's cause, and greater love for the souls he died to save; and whilst thus laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, I want to have a stronger and more realizing faith in the blood of the Cross; 'to be clothed with humility,' that I may never rest upon anything I can do, but ever as a lost and miserable sinner, look to Jesus alone for salvation. May He be 'formed in us' the only 'hope of glory.' May he continually dwell in our hearts, and 'fill us with joy and peace in believing.'
"I have seen my old friend Cay, of the Coldstream Guards, several times, and have enjoyed a delightful Christian converse with him. I gave him several of dearest ——'s cards of prayer, and when I went on Sunday to the Guards' Hospital, I observed one fastened to each bed. It made me glad to see weary and dying eyes resting on the words, 'O God, wash me from all my sins in my Saviour's blood and I ​shall be whiter than snow. Fill me with the Holy Ghost, for Jesus Christ's sake.' Oh that they may all pray it from their hearts!
"I gave the little book of Psalms to poor Longley of the band, who is very ill, and I took him also some biscuits, for which he seemed very grateful. I have long believed him to be a follower of the Lamb; and his uniform good conduct has borne testimony to his heart having been changed and renewed by Divine Grace. I rejoice to think he can rely upon the love of his Saviour; and even in the hour of pain and weakness. * * * Cousin Ned has not yet returned from Scutari; poor fellow he has suffered severely.
"God bless you, my own most precious sister. Ever your most tenderly-attached brother,
"Hedley Vicars."
TO HIS YOUNGEST SISTER.
February 25th.
"Having had no less than six letters to write by the last mail, I was unable then to express to you, my own dearest Georgie, how pleasant it was to me, on opening the large box, to find proofs of your love amidst those of others. Many thanks for them, darling, and for the 'bag of sundries,' which contained many useful articles which only a thoughtful dear little sister like yourself would have thought of. * * * Have you not reason to bless God for the illness you speak of, if it has been the means of leading you nearer to Jesus — near to God through the blood of the Everlasting Covenant, of revealing to you somewhat of the worth and beauty of the Saviour to your soul, and of giving you a hope full of immortality through His cross! 'Surely those are blessings for which you ought never to be tired of praising our God and ​Saviour. I should like to hear you exclaim with, thankful delight —
"'Oh for a thousand tongues, to sing My dear Redeemer's praise,
The glories of my God and King,
The triumphs of His grace!
"It is true that our feelings are variable. We have not always the same glorious views of Jesus, the same assurance of our sins having been washed out, and our person accepted, through the blood shed on the cross. But let us endeavour to seek for comfort in Christ, and in His precious promises. Viewing ourselves as vile and sinful, let us look to Jesus as our perfect holiness, and as our complete Deliverer from sin, and death, and hell. Thus shall we find peace, not in feeling ourselves to be good and holy, but in hourly acknowledging our wretchedness and casting our sins upon the Saviour, and receiving out of His fulness grace for grace. Strive, then, to cultivate a spirit of praise, my own darling Georgie; you have no idea how much happiness and cheerfulness it will bring you. God bless you and fill you with all joy and peace in believing. Ever your most tenderly attached and affectionate brother,
"Hedley."
February 28th.
"By the dim light of a very inferior tallow candle, I sit down to say the stove is come! Never was there anything so charming. I have thrown it open to my company for cooking. It came faster than any package has yet travelled —by M. Peto's ship. How very kind of Mr. Wilberforce Baynes to get it sent, and so expeditiously; it was dropped at my very tent-door, without my having to make the smallest effort to get it. And what a delightful store of books ​you and Miss Maitland have sent! Give my love to her; and tell her what pleasure it gives me to give them away. Nearly every officer in the regiment has got one. I thought some would have declined, but they all accepted them most gladly. I went to the hospital and distributed several copies of that beautiful little book, 'Come to Jesus.' I gave one of Ryle's hymn-books to Longley, of the band, and another to Mortimer Lovell; and I am making a tour round the hospitals of other regiments, to carry cards of prayer for each. Thank your beloved sister for her supply of them and for her precious letter, which I hope to answer. And thank dearest Louie for her charming sketch of Beckenham Church and Rectory. How often have I, whilst looking at them, thought of the calm, heavenly hours I have enjoyed there.
"'How sweet their memory still!'
Well, the time may soon arrive when I shall enjoy them again; when we shall take sweet counsel together, and walk to the house of God in company, and tell our fellow-sinners of pardon and peace through the atoning blood of a crucified Saviour.
"Oh! that the Lord God would come amongst us with a 'high hand and with a stretched-out arm;' that He would, by the mighty power of the Holy Ghost, change and soften the hard hearts of those who despise the riches of His grace, and who make a mock of sin whilst standing on the verge of eternity; that He would implant the rose of Sharon, in all its freshness and fulness, on the ground of every troubled sin-laden heart! I cannot but believe that many have died in peace and hope, for I have heard from the lips of several, in dying hours, that their only hope was through the mercy of Him who died on the cross. But it grieves me where I look around and see how few, very few, there are amongst the yet strong and healthy (who may, in a moment ​be numbered with the dead) who show any love for Jesus; but it is only through sovereign grace that we have beheld the Lamb crucified for us, and have been brought to rejoice in Him who 'purchased us with His own blood,' with 'joy unspeakable and full of glory.' Knowing, as I do, the sin-stained course of my past life, and how utterly undeserving I was of being an object of God's pardoning mercy, I never despair of even the foremost in the ranks of Satan being brought to the feet of Jesus; and when I see one, for whose conversion I have prayed, becoming more hardened in sin, I comfort myself with the thought, that, 'grace led my roving feet to tread the heavenly road;' and the same constraining power may, at any moment, convince him of sin, and reveal Jesus to his soul.
"March 2d — This has been a very cold day. I went to the Light Division tents this morning, and gave away several of the tracts and cards of prayer at each of the hospitals, and shall go this evening or to-morrow, please God, to distribute them amongst the sick of the Second Division.
"How grieved I am for poor Mrs. Halkett in this second trial. It is, indeed, hard for one that has been so tried to submit without a murmur to the will of God, but if she could see the happiness of her child now, she would not wish to have it back again. That beloved infant has gone to join its father; and all three, father, mother, and child, will ere long be united, never again to be separated. Pray give her my Christian love. I hope her little girl is well.
"Yesterday was a peaceful, happy day to my soul. We had two meetings for prayer and Scripture-reading in my tent. Besides our own little company, we had two officers of the Artillery, Capt. Anderson and Capt. Vandeleur, and two of the Guards, Capt. Le Couteur and Dr. Cay! The church was rather too small to accommodate so many comfortably, but we ​managed very well, and had a blazing fire the whole time; there is luxury for you!
"The Guards are gone to Balaklava, now. Poor fellows, they are much reduced; the whole Brigade mustering barely 250 men fit for duty. But although few are left, and those, worn and haggard, they look such noble, undaunted fellows."
TO HIS MOTHER.
"Camp before Sebastopol, March 5th, 1855.
"My own Darling Mother — I am on regimental duty to-day, and the trendies this evening. This is a lovely summer's day, but, then, to-morrow it may be snowing, for you have no idea how changeable the climate is here. I am, thank God, safe and well in "both body and soul. I never was in the enjoyment of better health rind the Lord continues to favour me with the sunshine of His presence, filling me with peace and joy in Jesus. Oh! darling mother, how precious I find the Saviour to be to me in these perilous times — with what trust and confidence can I place myself, both for time and eternity, beneath the shelter of His cross! How the knowledge of the love of Christ (that He bled for us) nerves the heart to bear patiently, if not willingly, all the trials and troubles which God may send us, and which we are sure to meet with, sooner or later, in this world of tears; but what comfort religion brings to the soul in leading us to forget the sorrows of the present in the bright contemplation of a future world; and how joyous, how light the heart, and how indifferent to all else, when Christ reveals Himself to our souls in the precious character of our dearest Friend and Brother! With him near, to cheer and assure us, we can 'reckon that the sufferings of the present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.' And, although clouds sometimes ho​ver between Him and us, yet we know that He has promised 'never to leave or forsake us.' I will now give you a few extracts from my Journal:
"February 27th. — This has been the hottest day we have had yet — quite an English June day. Gave several of the books away, from the Beckenham box, to my brother officers. Took a long walk with Lieut. Cannon in the evening; we talked on religious subjects, and especially on the uncertainty of life. Oh! may we both prepare to meet our God, whenever He shall summon us hence! The French fired several rockets from the Victoria Redoubt on the town.
"28th. — A cloudy day, but the rain kept up until the afternoon. I went out for a walk with Harmond, but we were obliged to return. Went to the hospital, gave away several tracts to the patients — amongst them a number of 'Come to Jesus." Oh! that the Holy Ghost may lead many to find peace and rest in the Saviour! I took some jam (thanks to dear John) and biscuit to one of my company, John Carthy, for which the poor fellow was most grateful, although so weak and ill he could scarcely see me. Gave away some hymn-books of Ryle's to men of the band. Gave away several little books to my company.
"March 1st. — Remained in tent, writing, in the morning —a bitter cold day. Poor Carthy, of my company, died in the hospital last night, and was buried to-day. Cay came to see me, but I was unable to go for a walk with him, owing to parade. Dined off beef-stake and porter! Had tea with Desmond and Burton. Read a chapter, and retired to rest about half-past eleven o'clock. O Lord, do thou, in thy great mercy, keep me from forgetting what thou hast suffered for me in body and soul. May I never be drawn by the cares of this life from Jesus, my Friend and Saviour; but may I daily live closer to His cross. ​Above all, would I ask Thee to fill me with the Holy Ghost!
"March 2d.—A cold and snowy day. Borrowed Smith's horse, and rode over to the Light Division, with my pockets full of tracts, books, and cards of prayer, which I gave away to the sick of the 23d, 33d, 34th, and Rifle Brigade. Cay came in the evening, and we sallied off together to the camp of the Second Division, where we distributed several more to the 41st, 49th, and 62d Regiments. We then called on Vandeleur of the Artillery. He was not at home. We sat in his tent for nearly an hour. I read aloud the Thirteenth of Hebrews — took tea with Porter and Cannon.
"March 3d.—Having invited Cay to dinner to-day, I despatched my servant Keating to Balaklava, for some fresh meat and flour (to make a pudding). Took a stroll in the morning with one of my brother officers (Lieut. Goodenough), towards the Third Division, and again in the afternoon towards the Victoria Redoubt.
"We dined at five o'clock, off baked mutton and potatoes (done in the candle stove dearest ———— sent me), and soup, plum pudding, bread, cheese, and a bottle of porter. We afterwards spent a most pleasant evening together. I read a little tract called 'Believe and Live,' and then the Fortieth of Isaiah. After conversing on them, we offered up a short prayer. May the Lord bless these meetings together to our eternal good, and to the glory and honour of Jesus Christ. Heavy firing this evening.
"March 4th, Sunday.—Had Divine service in camp. We afterwards met together in a tent. All present. Then sat on a Regimental Board; after which I went to the Guards' camp for Cay, and we then went laden with tracts, books, and prayers to ​the remaining hospitals of the Second Division, where we distributed all we had. Had service in our hospital tent on my return, and prayed with one of the sick, particularly who asked me to do so, with tears in his eyes. Poor fellow, he was much oppressed with the weight of sins on his conscience. I spoke to him of, and directed him to 'look to Jesus,' the Saviour. Service in the tent again in the evening. Seven present. Afterwards took a short walk with Vandeleur, Craigie, and Anderson, of the Engineers. Read and prayed with Major Ingram and Lieutenant Derman in the latter's tent. Oh what a happy day has been! 'Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.' Had a conversation with a private of the 77th Regiment, for an hour after dinner. Dear ———— was the means, in God's hands, of bringing him to a knowledge of the truth. Oh, dearest mother, how many will rise up and bless her at the last day! I must now conclude, as I must get ready for the trenches. We have had rather light work lately; but we exp'ect it will begin again soon, as at first; but I am quite happy. Dearest mother, I have begun to keep a journal, as you see. But I can but scribble a little in it every night.
"Give my best love to dearest Clara, Mary, and Georgie. You are all constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Love to Lord Rayleigh, to John, and Miss Strutt, &c. Tell dear Edward, with my love, I will strive to write him a letter by the next mail, if I can. God bless you, my own most precious, darling mother.
"Ever your most warmly attached
"And devoted son,
"Hedley."
TO MISS VICARS.
"Camp before Sebastopol,
"Sunday night, March 11th, 1855.
"My own Darling Mary—I must write a few lines before I go to bed, as the mail closes to-morrow; and I shall have plenty to do then, as we expect to shift our ground early in the morning. For myself, I don't much care about it (though, of course, one does a little!), but I do feel for the sick, many of whom are now in nice wooden huts, and will have to revert to tents again, at any rate, until we get the former on the new ground upon which we are to encamp.
"After our usual tent services, I walked with Cay and Vandeleur towards the Victoria Redoubt. The Light Division formerly furnished a picquet here, but the French have it now. From the advanced work in front of the redoubt we got a capital view of Sebastopol, with its long line of frowning batteries. We soon perceived that our enemies had erected a new work in front of their Round Tower Battery, and considerably nearer to us, for the purpose of enfilading the Gordon. We could trace where each shot or shell fell. I am glad to say that their practice was very bad, for out of about fifty rounds which they fired while we were looking on, only one or two hit the battery. I only hope they may be as ignorant of the range when we storm!
On our return, we learnt that a strong party from the Light Division is to be detained on duty to night, in the trenches, in addition to the usual guards. We have 300 men of the 97th out to-night; so we have only forty or fifty effective men left in camp. Three Captains, besides Subalterns of the 97th, are either on covering party or out-lying picquet. I have a night in bed, for my comfort.
​"I have enjoyed this day very much. * * * We met twice in the tent for prayer; and in the evening I read and prayed with Ingram and Derman. 'Gibson's Sermons' have come in most opportunely for our church! they all like them very much. This evening's text was Isaiah xliv. 3, 'I will pour water upon him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground.' Thanks be unto God for this precious promise; is it not equivalent to the words of Jesus on the mount, "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled?' Let us ever be waiting on the Lord for fresh supplies of grace, and earnestly and perseveringly pray for a more abundant out pouring of the Holy Ghost. Good night, my own darling Mary. May God for ever bless you, lift up the light of His countenance upon you, and give you peace. . . . . . .
"March 12th.—Well dearest Mary, we are to remain where we are till the day after to-morrow; this respite is in consequence of the rains which fell yesterday. Did I tell you of my charming stove, with its portable fuel of cocoa-nut oil-cakes, which, when lighted, throws out a great heat. My servant has already twice baked in it small flour cakes — hot for my breakfast! besides cooking my dinner in the same way for a change.
"How delighted I am you are going to Beckenham at Easter, God willing. Well do I remember my happy hours there! Never did I feel so strongly that I was in a place where 'prayer was wont to be made,' as in that dear Rectory.
"I have had a beautiful letter from Mrs. Ovens, which I hope to reply to by this or next mail. Also to one from Mr. Smelt, of Canterbury, curate to Mr. Stephenson, author of that beautiful book, 'Christ on the Cross.' Also from Mr. Rigley, the Chobham missionary, who prayed with me by the tent pole, when I was on guard there, one day.
​"Give my best and fondest love to dearest mother, and to darling Clara and Georgie. Much love to all. Let us ever have our hope set, and our eyes fixed on Jesus; and then whatever happens to me, we shall surely meet in peace and joy. Ever, my own precious darling sister, your most deeply affectionate and attached brother,
"Hedley."
From his correspondence with one to whom the deepest recesses of his heart were opened, a single passage is permitted to appear in these pages, because it illustrates that he was as loyal in his allegiance to his Queen and to his country as to the heart he had sought and won:
"How I long for that which I am sure will come eventually — a victorious ending to this war. I wish we may go at Sebastopol at once, for I am growing tired of this delay; and, if the truth were told, I fear my military ardour is giving way to my deep longing to see your face again. But I cannot see how the Allied Powers can agree to peace until the stronghold which has so long withstood us, falls into our hands. Therefore, as the honour of my Queen and my country is involved in this matter, not even to return to you, dearest, would I leave the Crimea, save through the harbour of Sebastopol."
HIS LAST LETTER.
" * * * Your letter of the 18th contained no small comfort for me. I bless God that my sweetest L—— is with her more than mother again, to be comforted in those dark days. * * * My own mother, no less than hers, how I have blessed you in my heart, since the day I could call her mine, for all your love to us both! I was grieved to hear that your beloved and revered father had been ill. God ​grant his most precious life may long be spared to us and to the Church of God. Tell him, with my best love that I have distributed amongst my brother officers his delightful 'Invitation to United Prayer for the Outpouring of the Holy Spirit.' And I trust that it may lead several to turn their thoughts and minds to the contemplation of those things that belong to their peace. Major Ingram is one of ray best friends, and a true Christian. I have known both him and his dear wife for many years. We have often prayed, and read, and held communion together. Douglas Macgregor is very dear to me. He is very young, and full of high spirits, which might now and then carry him away, were he not continually seeking to have more and more of the mind of Christ; and, in these solemn scenes, his thoughts turn oftener heavenward. Do not cease to pray for him, and for my subaltern, Lieut. Brinkley (for whom I have a real interest), that they may both be good and fearless soldiers of Jesus Christ. Macgregor is the officer I mentioned, who asked, some weeks ago, to be my companion in visiting the hospitals, adding with characteristic ingeniousness, 'I have just been reading those words, "I was sick, and ye visited me not," and I should not like my Saviour to be addressing those words to me' * * * The weather is quite warm, with brilliant sunshine, so we are throwing off our winter clothing. I am sorry to say we ate to be removed from our present ground to where the Light Division is encamped; but soldiers ought not to grumble at inconveniences. Yesterday I visited the hospitals, and read the Twelfth of Hebrews, and prayed with a poor dying man, who beckoned me to do so when I was at the other end of the ward. He was low and wretched; but he seemed comforted when I spoke to him of that 'blood which cleanseth from all sin,' and told him of the dying love of Jesus. I do hope that he and I shall meet in heaven, clothed in white robes.
​"Nothing new here. Report says the Czar is dead! Can it be true? Sickness is on the decrease, and we are all as lively as kittens!
"March 16th. — Many, many thanks for your dear letter of the 1st. I cannot tell you how much I rejoice in the improved accounts of the Duke of Manchester, for your last had made me very uneasy about him. God grant that he may be long spared to his sweet wife, to England, and to the Church at large.
"We have lately lost several men in the trenches. On Wednesday last, Captam Craigie, of the Engineers, who regularly attended our Sabbath Prayer Meetings, was killed by a shell in the Middle Ravine. I was on picquet there on that night, and he was struck only a few minutes before I came up with my men. Poor fellow! he was quickly called into eternity, for he never spoke a word, but fell instantly after being hit; but I feel sure he was ready, and is now safe for ever! I liked him very much, and his death has cast a gloom over our small band.
"We were turned out the night before last by a very heavy firing in our front; it lasted for about twenty minutes, when it ceased entirely, but ere long we were alarmed by a second cannonade, and we once more stood to our arms. It was a fine starlight night, and, as I stood gazing in the direction of the fusillade, I thought I had never witnessed a more imposing spectacle. Shells in quick succession were shooting up into the air, with the bright glare of artillery reflected over the brow of the hills in our front, and the lurid flushes of musketry, as volley after volley chimed in, accompanied by the wild cheers of the combatants which we could plainly hear at intervals, even amidst the deafening roar. In less than half an hour ail was quiet, and we returned to our tents. It was an attack made by the French on a Russian advanced work, from which they drove the enemy, but were in their turn driven out. The ​French had 200 killed and wounded; and the Rifles lost eleven men. We are anxiously expecting our batteries to open in good earnest; but they say there is not quite enough shell or shot up yet. Nothing could be more favorable than the weather has been lately, and the roads are in capital condition. My love to your beloved father, and sister, and brother-in-law, to Mrs. M———, and to dearest Louie. I enclose a letter to my own L———. God bless you, my own most beloved mother-sister. How delighted I am you told me the day which is appointed for national prayer. We shall keep it in the camp, too, please God. Jesus is near, and very precious to my heart and soul. May He ever be to you also, my own second mother. Ever your most warmly attached son and brother,
"Hedley Vicars."
On the Sabbath which followed—his last on earth—he seemed to have climbed, like Moses, the Mount whence this promised land is seen; and to have caught the twilight dawn of the Eternal Sabbath so near at hand. Amidst unceasing work for his Master, he entered at the same time, in his mortal measure, "into the joy of his Lord." A serene happiness filled his soul as he went, in the intervals between the tent services, with the message of peace to the hospitals of other regiments. The morning service was conducted in Major Welsford's hut, where the usual number assembled. In the afternoon they were joined by Captain Crofton and Captain Anderson, of the engineers.
Hedley Vicars seemed peculiarly to enjoy these hours of social prayer. In the evening he met Major Ingram in Lieutenant Derman's tent, and these three Christian brothers read together the 14th, 15th, 16th, ​and 17th chapters of the Gospel of St. John, and again united in prayer. The subject of the approaching day of humiliation was kept much in view. He had earnestly desired its appointment. In some of his recent letters, he had expressed his belief that until God was more honoured by us as a nation, in the ascription of victory to His favour, and in the acknowledgment of His chastening hand in defeat, we could scarcely expect complete success.
Well was the day observed when it came. He kept it as a solemn fast before the Lord. Within that tent there was a Holy of holies, for the presence of God was there; and from conscious, though lowly fellowship with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ, he came forth to refresh the souls of others, as one who by Divine hands is made a king and a priest unto his God. The man of prayer is a man of power. Other men take knowledge of him that he has been with Jesus: and a light from heaven shines into many a dark heart through one who is a living temple of the Holy Ghost.
After morning parade, Hedley Vicars walked with Major Ingram, to see the sunrise in the valley of the Tchernaya; and by the burning of their hearts within them by the way, it seemed that "Jesus Himself drew nigh and went with them."
"Jesus in Heaven, Jesus in heart, Heaven in the heart, the heart in Heaven."
At eleven and at three o'clock services were held in Mr. Smith's tent. Hedley Vicars had himself chosen the Psalms and Lessons, which he read, as well as the remainder of the service, with an earnest solemnity which impressed all present. "If it had been the Archbishop of Canterbury," said one, "he could not have done it better."
​The evening was passed in company with his beloved friend Mr. Cay. The tone of that last conversation could not be forgotten by the survivor. It seemed as if the spirit of his young companion had already taken wing, "and was in heaven before he came at it; being swallowed up with the sight of angels, and with hearing of their melodious notes. Here, also, he had the City itself in view, and thought he heard all the hells therein to ring, to welcome him thereto. But, above all, the warm and joyful thoughts that he had about his own dwelling there with such company, and that for ever and ever — Oh, by what tongue or pen can that glorious joy be expressed!" Late that night he wrote these words:
"God bless all those whose exertions have been the means of bringing about this day of national prayer. Who knows how many precious lives may not he spared, and what great success granted, sooner or later, in answer to the prayers of this day; for if the 'effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much,' how much more may an abundant answer be expected to the prayers of England, offered up as they have been this day by all the Lord's peple in the name of Jesus, and pleading his atoning blood and all-sufficient righteousness.
"I look for great results from the prayers that have ascended to heaven this day, and have been presented by our great intercessor before the throne of God, and I am sure you do too, do you not, ever dearest mother-sister? I have felt this day to have been just like Sunday, and have derived much comfort from communion with my God and Saviour. We had two tent services, in the morning at eleven, and in the after-noon at three o'clock; Vandeleur came both times. I spent the evening with Cay. I read Isaiah xli., and he prayed. We walked together during the day, and exchanged our thoughts about Jesus."
​Thus the last word he ever wrote was the name he loved best. The name which is above every name; and which doubtless was the first to spring from his soul, in the fulness of adoration and praise, as he entered into the presence of the King Eternal. One other fragment was found in his desk. It was addressed to her whom he loved with the full power of a true and manly heart; yet does it speak of joy and gladness from another source than that most tender love. Like the first disciples, of whom it is said that they, not seeing the Lord Jesus, yet rejoiced in Him "with joy unspeakable, and full of glory," Hedley Vicars, led by the same Spirit, seems at this time almost to have tasted the first draught of that fountain of the water of life, whose streams make glad the City of God. In the full strength of his youth, yet actually on the verge of another world, his last words came to us with a power beyond that of death-bed sayings. Such a tone of absolute satisfaction is seldom heard in this world of unsatisfied longings.
"The greater part of another month is past, and here I am still kept by the protecting arm of the Almighty from all harm. I have been in many a danger by night and day since I last wrote to you, my own beloved; but the Lord has delivered me from them all, and not only so, but he has likewise kept me in perfect peace, and made me glad with the light of His countenance. In Jesus I find all I want of happiness or enjoyment, and as week after week, and month after month roll by I believe He is becoming more and more lovely in my eyes, and precious to my soul."
Twenty-four hours more and his eyes had seen "the King in His beauty."
XI.— THE VICTORY.
The night of the 22d of March was dark and dreary. The wind rose high, and swept in stormy gusts across the Crimea. There was for a time a stillness over the three armies, like the calm before a tempest.
At the advanced post of the British forces on the side nearest the French, was a detachment of the 97th Regiment, commanded by Captain Vicars. No watch-fire on that post of danger might cast its red light, as aforetime, on the Book of God. Yet was that place of peril holy ground. Once more the night breeze bore away the hallowed sounds of prayer. Once more the deep, earnest eyes of Hedley Vicars looked upward to that heaven in which his place was now prepared. Perhaps in that dark night he pictured a return to his country, to his home, to the chosen of his heart, and thought of all the loving welcomes which awaited him. But there are better things than these, dear as they are, which God hath prepared for them that love Him. Perhaps his spirit took a loftier flight, and imagined the yet more joyful welcomes upon the eternal shore.
One stern duty more, soldier and Christian, and realities more lovely and glorious than it hath entered into the heart of man to conceive, shall satisfy thy soul.