# Dramas (Baillie)/The Match/Act 2

ACT II.
SCENE I.—The Library in Sir Cameron Kunliffe's House.
Enter Master Lawry and the Housekeeper, speaking as they enter.
HOUSEKEEPER.
LAWRY.
HOUSEKEEPER.
LAWRY.
HOUSEKEEPER.
LAWRY.
HOUSEKEEPER.
LAWRY.
HOUSEKEEPER.
LAWRY.
HOUSEKEEPER.
LAWRY.
HOUSEKEEPER.
LAWRY.
HOUSEKEEPER.
LAWRY.
HOUSEKEEPER.
LAWRY.
HOUSEKEEPER.
LAWRY.
HOUSEKEEPER.
[While Lawry is busy with his book, Sir Cameron's voice is heard without, and he starts from the table, puts the book in its place, and looks round in dismay.]
LAWRY.
Enter Sir Cameron.
SIR CAMERON.
The air of this day is oppressive; I feel drowsy and tired. (Sits down in the chair.) This seat is uneasy, the upholsterer has stuffed it very badly. Let me see. (Pulls it out from the bookcase, and Lawry drops down on the floor.)— ​What have we here!——Hiding in my library!—It is Lawry, by my faith.——Get up, child: I hope thou art not hurt. He does not move! torpid as a dormouse!——Ho, there! is nobody at hand? Ho there! (Rings a bell violently.) No limbs are broken, I hope.
Enter Servants, and re-enter Housekeeper, all gathering about Lawry.
HOUSEKEEPER.
SIR CAMERON.
LAWRY (starting up from the floor).
OMNES.
Re-enter Sir Cameron.
SIR CAMERON.
FIRST SERVANT.
SIR CAMERON.
HOUSEKEEPER.
FIRST SERVANT (looking out).
SIR CAMERON.
[Exeunt Servants, all but the Housekeeper.
HOUSEKEEPER.
SIR CAMERON.
HOUSEKEEPER.
SIR CAMERON.
[Exit Housekeeper, tossing her head.
That boy has come to the house in my absence for some purpose or other.——Their purpose cannot be good who employ such means to effect it. (Looking up to the bookcase.) Concealed behind that map, which he must have unrolled to cover him. Ha! to scramble up to that very shelf where the key of my iron box is concealed behind the pamphlets.—By my faith, and they have been disturbed too. Let me see. (Standing on the seat of the chair, to examine the upper shelf) The key is gone; devil take the cunning little varlet! he has stolen the key. (Pacing about in a disturbed manner.) I was surprised to hear that he had transactions with Harding.—I see the whole business now. He knows of the cursed mistake in that testamentary deed.—A base device to get it into his hands for inspection. (Advances to the front, and stands thoughtfully with his arms across.) Suspicious! had I not been less suspicious than most people, I should have been aware of it before.—O that there were less cause for suspicion in this vile world! Must we pass through it like infants or simpletons to be happy? what is reason given us for but to be a defence and a guard?—It may, indeed, occasionally deceive us. It may,—it may! that, alas, I know too well.——Oh! ​my remembrance of that cruel hour is intolerable. Had I then been as a simple infant instead of a reasoning man, how happy I might have been! (Beating his forehead.) Well, well, well! there is no use in thinking of it now. She is happy with another, and prosperous and happy may she be!
Enter Humphries.
HUMPHRIES.
SIR CAMERON.
[Exit Humphries.
If the organs of mischief and knavery be not discovered under the curly locks of that little imp, the science, as they deem it, of phrenology is a spider's web to catch flies withal. [Exit. ​
SCENE II.
An Ante-room.
Enter Humphries and a Locksmith, carrying a basket with his tools.
HUMPHRIES.
LOCKSMITH.
HUMPHRIES.
LOCKSMITH.
HUMPHRIES.
LOCKSMITH.
HUMPHRIES.
LOCKSMITH.
HUMPHRIES.
LOCKSMITH.
HUMPHRIES.
LOCKSMITH.
HUMPHRIES.
LOCKSMITH.
HUMPHRIES.
LOCKSMITH.
HUMPHRIES.
LOCKSMITH.
HUMPHRIES.
SCENE III.
An Apartment in the House of Latitia.
Enter Emma and Dr. Crany, by opposite sides.
DR. CRANY.
EMMA.
DR. CRANY.
EMMA (preventing him).
Enter Latitia, followed by Brightly and Thornhill.
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY.
BRIGHTLY (aside).
THORNHILL.
DR. CRANY.
THORNHILL.
DR. CRANY.
BRIGHTLY.
DR. CRANY.
THORNHILL.
BRIGHTLY.
DR. CRANY.
BRIGHTLY.
DR. CRANY.
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY.
THORNHILL.
DR. CRANY.
Yes, Sir; and till the laws of evidence are reformed, they cannot do otherwise. (Latitia whispers to Emma, who retires.) But my story is not yet finished. Six months afterwards the prisoner committed another murder, for which he was convicted and hanged. Now, had he been hanged for the first offence, he could not have committed the second.
BRIGHTLY.
[Re-enter Emma, lugging in Lawry, and followed by Sir Cameron.]
EMMA.
LAWRY.
[The Doctor sits down, and Lawry kneels.]
DR. CRANY (feeling his head).
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY.
LATITIA.
SIR CAMERON.
LATITIA.
EMMA.
DR. CRANY.
OMNES.
DR. CRANY.
EMMA.
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY.
SIR CAMERON.
LAWRY (crying).
DR. CRANY.
LAWRY.
DR. CRANY.
Shall I have the honour to examine the other heads in this good company. (To Latitia, in a very ingratiating tone). Madam, I know that all I shall discover here (pointing to her head) must be amiable. ​
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY (turning to Sir Cameron).
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY (aside).
BRIGHTLY AND THORNHILL (speaking at the same time.)
LATITIA (placing a chair).
SIR CAMERON (sitting down).
DR. CRANY (as he examines his head).
LATITIA.
BRIGHTLY.
THORNHILL.
DR. CRANY.
SIR CAMERON.
DR. CRANY.
BRIGHTLY.
DR. CRANY.
BRIGHTLY.
DR. CRANY.
THORNHILL.
SIR CAMERON.
[Dr. Crany, after looking at the back of his head, shrinks from it, and covers his eyes with his hand.]
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY.
THORNHILL (having brought him a glass of water, which he drinks in a languid, affected manner).
DR. CRANY.
SIR CAMERON (rising quickly).
We had better take our leave, and your heads (to Brightly and Thornhill) may wait for some future occasion. (Bows to the Ladies, and speaks aside to Brightly and Thornhill, as he goes off.) It is only a feint to get rid of your questions.
[Exit, followed by Brightly and Thornhill.
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY.
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY (looking about).
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY.
LATITIA.
EMMA.
LATITIA.
EMMA.
LATITIA.
SCENE IV.
A Garden.
Enter Sir Cameron Kunliffe, and walks backward and forward for some time, muttering, before he speaks audibly.
SIR CAMERON.
Enter Franklin.
FRANKLIN.
SIR CAMERON.
FRANKLIN.
SIR CAMERON.
FRANKLIN.
SIR CAMERON.
FRANKLIN.
SIR CAMERON.
FRANKLIN.
If I am destitute of those qualities, I have harboured too long under your roof. (A sullen pause on the part of Sir Cameron.) Farewell, cous'n: I shall visit Miss Vane and her niece once more, and then return to town.
SIR CAMERON (calling after him as he is going off).
Hark ye, cousin! you will see Mr. Harding, no doubt, when you are in town; pray give my respects to him—my very profound respects.[Exit Franklin.
O, that he had remained as I once knew him! I should have loved him, I should have taken him to my heart.—Vain wish! the world is a school ​of perversion. (Walks to and fro again, and then stops.) Money, thou art truly styled the root of all evil. I should soon, of my own accord, have declared the blunder of that stupid attorney, and should have behaved liberally and nobly. But now, what can I do? It were silliness—it were cowardice to concede. No; I will carry the suit through every court in England first, and live on a crust after all, if lawyers will leave me as much.
Enter Thornhill.
THORNHILL.
SIR CAMERON.
THORNHILL.
SIR CAMERON.
THORNHILL.
SIR CAMERON.
Enter Brightly.
THORNHILL.
BRIGHTLY.
SIR CAMERON.
BRIGHTLY.
SIR CAMERON.
BRIGHTLY.
[Exeunt Brightly and Thornhill.
SIR CAMERON (alone).
Enter Housekeeper, with a bundle in her hand.
HOUSEKEEPER.
SIR CAMERON.
HOUSEKEEPER.
SIR CAMERON.
HOUSEKEEPER.
SIR CAMERON.
HOUSEKEEPER.
SIR CAMERON.
HOUSEKEEPER (taking a gown from the bundle).
SIR CAMERON.
HOUSEKEEPER (shaking it out).
SIR CAMERON.
HOUSEKEEPER.
SIR CAMERON.
SCENE V.
A Parlour in the House of Latitia, and the Glass Door of a small Conservatory seen at one side, with a Curtain drawn behind it.
Enter Flounce, who goes to the door, which she opens in silence, giving a key to somebody in the inside.
FLOUNCE (alone).
Enter Latitia.
LATITIA.
FLOUNCE.
LATITIA.
FLOUNCE.
LATITIA.
FLOUNCE (turning round and looking).
Enter Dr. Crany, with his shoulders wrapt in a cloak, and holding his hat before his face.
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY.
LATITIA (after motioning to Flounce, who goes off).
DR. CRANY.
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY.
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY.
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY.
LATITIA (recoiling from him indignantly).
DR. CRANY.
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY.
LATITIA.
[Sir Cameron Kunliffe, bursting from the conservatory in woman's dress, shows himself but hesitates to advance.]
LATITIA.
DR. CRANY (turning round and perceiving Sir Cameron).
SIR CAMERON (in a feigned voice).
DR. CRANY.
SIR CAMERON.
DR. CRANY.
SIR CAMERON (advancing on him with a deep, awkward curtsey).
DR. CRANY (stepping farther back and bowing as before).
SIR CAMERON (advancing as the other retreats, and curtseying again).
DR. CRANY (still retreating).
SIR CAMERON.
(Taking hold of his collar, and dragging him back to the front of the Stage.)
DR. CRANY.
Enter Brightly.
BRIGHTLY.
LATITIA.
BRIGHTLY.
LATITIA.
SIR CAMERON.
BRIGHTLY.
You had better put off your head-gear; that large bonnet, with so much hooding and muffling under it, would exclude the free air from your face, though you were on the top of Mount Ararat. Permit me to assist in removing it. (Sir Cameron puts out his hand to prevent Brightly, and says something indistinctly.) You speak with such a soft, pretty voice, lady, that I don't know one word you say.
LATITIA (aside to Brightly).
She is observant of forms, and will not have a gentleman's assistance. (Aloud to Sir Cameron.) Let me take off your bonnet, if I can reach it. (Sir Cameron stoops, and she removes the bonnet.) And this handkerchief, too (takes off a handkerchief), and a great cap besides. What's under all this!
SIR CAMERON (calling out in his own voice after Dr. Crany, who is about to steal away).
OMNES.
BRIGHTLY (to Sir Cameron).
SIR CAMERON.
I have been too fortunate under them to feel impatient, but help me, an thou wilt, to get rid of them now. (Putting off his female attire, assisted by Brightly.) But where is the doctor? don't let him steal off.
DR. CRANY (advancing).
Enter Thornhill.
BRIGHTLY.
THORNHILL.
[A book is thrown after him from without.]
BRIGHTLY.
Enter Lawry (chased by Flounce).
FLOUNCE.
DR. CRANY.
I cannot suffer this defamation. Come here, young Sir, and I will show the organs of mathematics on your head of a most prominent and promising size. (To Flounce.) Pray make him stand still one moment, if you please. (Flounce takes hold of Lawry, while the Doctor parts his hair with his fingers, and shews a lump.) There, gentlemen, you see it with your own eyes; a more superb organ never met the sight or the touch of a phrenologist. ​
FLOUNCE.
DR. CRANY.
Well, well; there is no contending with prejudice, and the sooner I take my leave the better;—if I am not to be considered as under constraint. (Bowing affectedly to Sir Cameron.)
SIR CAMERON.
BRIGHTLY (to Dr. Crany as he retires).
[Exit Dr. Crany, bowing on either hand as he retires.
LATITIA.
LAWRY.
LATITIA (kissing him).
LAWRY.
[Exit skipping and bounding lightly.
LATITIA.
BRIGHTLY (preventing Sir Cameron from speaking).
Allow me to answer for you, Kunliffe, or you will mar your present advantage. (To Miss Vane.) You cannot surely expect, my dear lady, to be let off with impunity. Say your own self what amends he ought to have: pronounce your own punishment, and it shall be immediately inflicted,
LATITIA.
BRIGHTLY.
LATITIA.
BRIGHTLY.
SIR CAMERON.
LATITIA.
BRIGHTLY.
She must have a bad time of it, I think, if she sicken on every new proof of her folly. (Half aside to Thornhill).
SIR CAMERON (overhearing and turning to him sharply).
BRIGHTLY.
Not you, I can plainly perceive. (Aside to Thornhill, as Sir Cameron hurries off). Those words augur well, methinks, for my paddock.
THORNHILL.
BRIGHTLY.
[Exeunt after Sir Cameron.