# Chandra Shekhar/Part 6/Chapter 8

CHAPTER VIII
in the field of battle
handra shekhar came out of the tent with Shaibalini and found Ramananda Swami standing at the entrance. The Swami said to Chandra Shekhar, "Well, what will you do now?"
"How am I to save Shaibalini? enquired Chandra Shekhar anxiously. "Bullets and balls are coming from all sides like hails—nothing can be seen through smoke—where to go?"
"There is no cause for anxiety," replied Ramananda Swami, in an assuring tone. "Don't you mark the direction the Mahamedans are running to? What prospects can there be for the Nawab when his soldiers are taking to heels at the very outset of the battle? It seems to me, that the English are exceptionally lucky, strong, courageous and skilfuI—a day will, perhaps, come when they will bring under their subjection the whole of the sacred Hindusthan. Let us better follow the routed Mahamedans. I do not care much about ​you or myself, but we cannot but be anxious for Shaibalini."
They now followed the beaten soldiers of the Nawab. After proceeding a little, they suddenly saw before them a band of well-armed Hindu fighters, in imposing uniform, coming out of a narrow pass to meet the English, with soldier-like courage and enthusiasm. In the centre of the column was the leader, mounted on a superb battle-steed. All the three recognised that it was none else but Pratap himself. Chandra Shekhar became uneasy at the very sight of Pratap. Advancing he said,
"Pratap! what brings you to this fatal field of battle? Better go back."
"I was coming in search of you," replied Pratap. "Come, I will conduct you to a safe place."
He then placed Ramananda Swami, Chandra Shekhar and Shaibalini within his small army, and proceeded with them towards the direction he came from. All the passes and accessible ways in that hilly tract were well-known to Pratap and he was, therefore, able to take them far away from the battle-field, very soon. While they were thus ​proceeding, Pratap heard from Chandra Shekhar all about what happened in the Durbar. After relating to him the whole story, Chandra Shekhar said,
"Pratap! you are really beyond any praise—you know more of this world than I do."
Pratap was surprised and looked Chandra Shekhar in the face. Chandra Shekhar then said in a voice almost choked with emotion,
"Now I have come to know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Shaibalini is perfectly stainless. I shall take her into the bosom of my family again, and if for this I have to undergo a penance for the satisfaction of our society, I shall ungrudgingly do it. But, I cannot be happy—fate has ordained it otherwise."
"Why?" enquired Pratap anxiously. "Has not the Swami's medicine proved efficacious?"
"Not yet," replied Chandra Shekhar.
Pratap was much pained—tears came into his eyes. Shaibalini could see this from within her veil. She moved away a little and beckoned Pratap to come near her. Pratap alighted from his horse and came to Shaibalini. She then said to him, in a voice inaudible to others,
​"Will you allow me to tell you something in whispers? I will not say anything objectionable."
Pratap was taken by surprise. He said,
"How is it, did you then feign insanity?"
Shaibalini. Yes, now it will look like that—since I left my bed this morning, I have been feeling quite myself. Did I really become mad?
Pratap's countenance flashed with joy. Shaibalini could perceive his feelings and she at once whispered into his ears, in an eager manner,
"Keep quiet, don't say anything now. I myself will tell every thing—I only await your permission."
Pratap. Why should you at all need my permission?
Shaibalini. If my husband takes me back, will it be proper for me to participate in his love and affection without making a confession of my sins, before him?
Pratap. What do you want to do?
Shaibalini. I want to tell him every thing regarding my past and crave his forgiveness.
Pratap thought for a while and then said,
"All right, you may tell him every thing. I wish and pray that you may be happy this time."
​Pratap was carried away by emotion and he shed tears.
"It is impossible for me to be happy," said Shaibalini in a melancholy but serious tone. "So long as you shall be in this world, I shall not be happy—"
"Why, Shaibalini?" enquired Pratap in surprise.
"So long as you shall be in this world, pray, do not appear before me," replied Shaibalini with emotion. "The mind of a woman is extremely frail and I do not know how long I shall be able to keep it under my control. We must not meet again, in this life."
Pratap didn't make any reply. He quickly mounted his horse and set off for the battle-field. His little band of warriors followed him.
When Chandra Shekhar saw Pratap going, he asked,
"Where are you going?"
"To the field of battle," was Pratap's brief reply.
"Don't—for God's sake, don't go—there is no escaping out of the hands of the English," cried out Chandra Shekhar anxiously.
​"Foster is still alive—I am going to put an end to his sinful life," replied Pratap in an impressive tone.
Chandra Shekhar ran up to Pratap, as fast as he could, and caught hold of the reins of his horse. He then said,
"Why should you kill Foster, dear Pratap? The wicked shall be punished by God. Are we the dispenser of justice? It is only the narrow-minded who take revenge on their enemies—good souls always forgive."
Pratap was surprised—his heart overflowed with joy. He had never before heard such a noble utterance from any man. He alighted from his horse and made obeisance to Chandra Shekhar. Pratap then said,
"In this selfish world, there are few praiseworthy men like your nobleself. I will do Foster no harm."
Pratap again mounted his horse and rode off towards the battle-field. Thereupon, Chandra Shekhar again cried out,
"Pratap, why are you, then, going to the battle-field?"
Pratap turned back his face and said, with an exceedingly sweet and pleasant smile,
​"I have some business."
He, then, spurred his horse and galloped away.
Pratap's smile made Ramananda Swami extremely anxious and uneasy. He said to Chandra Shekhar,
"You go home with Shaibalini. I shall go to perform an ablutionary rite in the sacred waters of the holy Ganges. I shall come back and meet you in a couple of days."
Chandra Shekhar said, "I am awfully anxious for Pratap."
"I will bring you news about him," replied Ramananda Swami.
The Swami then gave Chandra Shekhar and Shaibalini leave to go and himself proceeded towards the battle-field. In that bloody field, enveloped with an endless volume of smoke and filled with the heart-rending groans of the dying and wounded, Ramananda Swami began to move about, in search of Pratap. Here and there, he saw hundreds of human bodies, lying in heaps—some without life, some almost lifeless and others profusely bleeding from torn limbs and wounded breasts; some crying out, in a most piteous manner, for a drop of water to quench their unbearable ​thirst and others calling their father and mother, brothers and sisters, friends and other dear ones, in agony of despair. Ramananda Swami searched for Pratap among them, but did not find him. He next saw a large number of horsemen, their body besmeared with blood, galloping away on their wounded steeds for their very life, crushing under their feet the unfortunate wounded lying disabled on the battle-field. The Swami looked for Pratap among those routed warriors, but did not find him. He then came across with a large band of infantry-soldiers, bathed in blood, running away at a breathless speed, in terror of a fearful enemy. He watched them minutely, as they passed away, in the hope of finding Pratap among them, but all in vain. He then sat down under the shade of a large tree, fatigued and exhausted. Close to that spot, a sepoy was running away in all haste to save his life. Ramananda Swami said to him,
"I see, every one of you is taking to heels—who is it, then, that fought the battle?"
"No one except a Hindu, who has shown great courage and heroism," replied the soldier briefly.
​"Where is he now?" enquired Ramananda Swami, rather anxiously.
"Look for him near the fort," answered the sepoy in hot haste and ran away. Ramananda Swami went there. He found that the struggle was over and in one place, some English and Hindu soldiers were lying in a heap. Ramananda Swami began to search for Pratap among them. One of the Hindus groaned out in bitter agony. Ramananda Swami dragged him out and found that it was Pratap—mortally wounded—still alive, but on the point of death. Ramananda Swami fetched some water from the nearest place and gave Pratap a drink. Pratap recognised him and made an effort to raise himself to make obeisance to the Swami, but could not pick up strength to do so.
"You need not make any effort," said the Swami, in an affectionate tone. "All the same, I bless you and wish you a speedy recovery."
"Recovery! It is near at hand," said Pratap with great difficulty, quite conscious of his end. "Now, pray for my soul."
"Why did you come to this fierce battle, in spite of our warning," asked Ramananda Swami, in a ​mournful voice. "Did you do so for Shaibalini's sake?"
"Why should you think so, please," calmly interrogated Pratap.
The Swami said,
"When you were talking with Shaibalini, it seemed to me from her movements, that she was no longer insane and that she has not forgotten you altogether."
"Shaibalini asked me not to meet her again," observed Pratap touchingly. "I could feel that so long as I would live in this world, Shaibalini or Chandra Shekhar could not possibly be happy. I thought it was quite improper for me to live as a thorn in the way of those who are my best well-wishers and objects of love and veneration. It is for this reason, why, in spite of your dissuasion, I came to this bloody field of battle to sacrifice my life. I am taking leave of this world; for, if I live, one day or other, Shaibalini may lose her constancy and go astray again."
Tears came into Ramananda Swami's eyes—no one had seen tears in his eyes before. He said with emotion,
​"Pratap! in this world, you alone know how to live for others—we are humanitarians in name only. In your next life, you will be entitled to the eternal bliss of heaven."
After a brief pause, Ramananda Swami continued, "Listen to me, dear Pratap! I have been able to read through your mind—even the conquest of the whole universe cannot be favourably compared with your glorious triumph over your passions—you used to love Shaibalini, most dearly."
Ramananda Swami's last words went straight into Pratap's heart. They infused a new spirit into his inert and almost lifeless body and he roared out, as if, a lion had been roused from sleep,
"What will you understand, you are an ascetic! What man is there in this world who can fathom the love I bear to Shaibalini? Who will appreciate with what devotion and constancy I have loved Shaibalini during these long sixteen years? I am not attached to her with any evil motive—my love is nothing but a desire to sacrifice my life for the sake of the object of my love. Throughout day and night, this feeling has been flowing through my veins with every particle of my blood—no man has yet, or could ever, come to know of it—why have ​you raised this question at the time of my death? I felt that this love will not be blissful in my present life and so I am leaving this body. My mind has, perhaps, been stained and who can say what change may not come upon Shaibalini's life, if I do not disappear from this world, for ever? I felt that nothing but my death could secure pleasure and happiness for Shaibalini and Chandra Shekhar, and so I made up my mind to take leave of you all. You have come to know of my secrets—you are wise and intimately familiar with all the scriptures of divine authority—you now tell me what will be an adequate penance for my sins. Do I stand guilty before God? If so, will the sacrifice of my life redeem my faults?"
"This is more than what I can say," replied Ramananda Swami sorrowfully. "It is not within the scope of human knowledge to answer your question in a definite manner; even the scriptures cannot help the solution of such a problem. None but the Almighty Ruler of the realm, you are going to, can say what the futurity has in store for you. But, this much I can say that if there is any reward prescribed in the economy of Providence for those who become masters of their passions ​and propensities, then you are sure to enjoy for ever the eternal joy and bliss of heaven. If the religious merits of a man are to be judged by the efficiency of the control he is capable of exercising over his mind and body, I can unhesitatingly say that even the celestial beings are not as virtuous as you are. If the unselfish dedication of one's life to the service of his fellow beings can at all entitle him to a place in the holy realm of heaven, your claim on such a reward is greater than even that of the great Dadhichi. I pray to God, with all the sincerity of my heart and the devotion of my soul, to so ordain that I may be, in my next life, as powerful a ruler of my senses and sensibilities as you are."
Ramananda Swami became silent. Slowly and gradually the last vital spark of life was out and Pratap left this world for ever.
The stately figure of a stainless soul now lay cold and stiff on a bed of grass.
Then, farewell Pratap, farewell to thee! Blithe spirit! go to that eternal land of glory, where it is not difficult for one to free himself from the fetters of flesh and blood—where there is nothing like blind fascination in respect of beauty and where ​love is not profane, as we find in this shabby world of ours. Go to that etherial region, where beauty, love, or happiness knows no end or decay and where happiness leads to eternal virtue. God-speed to thee, in thy journey to that great unknown and mysterious land, where every living soul is conscious of the sorrows of each of his fellow beings—where every one safeguards the virtues of another, delights to sing in the praise of others and where no one ever feels the necessity of sacrificing his life for the sake of a fellow creature—go, noble spirit, go to that glorious land of eternal peace and contentment! If, there, at your feet, you get myriads of Shaibalini, you would not care to love them!
the end.