# The History of the Adventures of Joseph Andrews and his Friend, Mr. Abraham Abrams/Book IV, Chapter V

CHAPTER V.
_Containing justice business; curious precedents of depositions, and
other matters necessary to be perused by all justices of the peace and
their clerks._
The young squire and his lady were no sooner alighted from their coach
than the servants began to inquire after Mr Joseph, from whom they said
their lady had not heard a word, to her great surprize, since he had
left Lady Booby's. Upon this they were instantly informed of what had
lately happened, with which they hastily acquainted their master, who
took an immediate resolution to go himself, and endeavour to restore his
Pamela her brother, before she even knew she had lost him.
The justice before whom the criminals were carried, and who lived within
a short mile of the lady's house, was luckily Mr Booby's acquaintance,
by his having an estate in his neighbourhood. Ordering therefore his
horses to his coach, he set out for the judgment-seat, and arrived when
the justice had almost finished his business. He was conducted into a
hall, where he was acquainted that his worship would wait on him in a
moment; for he had only a man and a woman to commit to Bridewell first.
As he was now convinced he had not a minute to lose, he insisted on the
servant's introducing him directly into the room where the justice was
then executing his office, as he called it. Being brought thither, and
the first compliments being passed between the squire and his worship,
the former asked the latter what crime those two young people had been
guilty of? "No great crime," answered the justice; "I have only ordered
them to Bridewell for a month." "But what is their crime?" repeated the
squire. "Larceny, an't please your honour," said Scout. "Ay," says the
justice, "a kind of felonious larcenous thing. I believe I must order
them a little correction too, a little stripping and whipping." (Poor
Fanny, who had hitherto supported all with the thoughts of Joseph's
company, trembled at that sound; but, indeed, without reason, for none
but the devil himself would have executed such a sentence on her.)
"Still," said the squire, "I am ignorant of the crime--the fact I mean."
"Why, there it is in peaper," answered the justice, showing him a
deposition which, in the absence of his clerk, he had writ himself, of
which we have with great difficulty procured an authentic copy; and here
it follows _verbatim et literatim:_--
"Jesu!" said the squire, "would you commit two persons to Bridewell for
a twig?" "Yes," said the lawyer, "and with great lenity too; for if we
had called it a young tree, they would have been both hanged." "Harkee,"
says the justice, taking aside the squire; "I should not have been so
severe on this occasion, but Lady Booby desires to get them out of the
parish; so lawyer Scout will give the constable orders to let them run
away, if they please: but it seems they intend to marry together, and
the lady hath no other means, as they are legally settled there, to
prevent their bringing an incumbrance on her own parish." "Well," said
the squire, "I will take care my aunt shall be satisfied in this point;
and likewise I promise you, Joseph here shall never be any incumbrance
on her. I shall be obliged to you, therefore, if, instead of Bridewell,
you will commit them to my custody." "O! to be sure, sir, if you desire
it," answered the justice; and without more ado Joseph and Fanny were
delivered over to Squire Booby, whom Joseph very well knew, but little
guessed how nearly he was related to him. The justice burnt his
mittimus, the constable was sent about his business, the lawyer made no
complaint for want of justice; and the prisoners, with exulting hearts,
gave a thousand thanks to his honour Mr Booby; who did not intend their
obligations to him should cease here; for, ordering his man to produce a
cloak-bag, which he had caused to be brought from Lady Booby's on
purpose, he desired the justice that he might have Joseph with him into
a room; where, ordering his servant to take out a suit of his own
clothes, with linnen and other necessaries, he left Joseph to dress
himself, who, not yet knowing the cause of all this civility, excused
his accepting such a favour as long as decently he could. Whilst Joseph
was dressing, the squire repaired to the justice, whom he found talking
with Fanny; for, during the examination, she had flopped her hat over
her eyes, which were also bathed in tears, and had by that means
concealed from his worship what might perhaps have rendered the arrival
of Mr Booby unnecessary, at least for herself. The justice no sooner saw
her countenance cleared up, and her bright eyes shining through her
tears, than he secretly cursed himself for having once thought of
Bridewell for her. He would willingly have sent his own wife thither, to
have had Fanny in her place. And, conceiving almost at the same instant
desires and schemes to accomplish them, he employed the minutes whilst
the squire was absent with Joseph in assuring her how sorry he was for
having treated her so roughly before he knew her merit; and told her,
that since Lady Booby was unwilling that she should settle in her
parish, she was heartily welcome to his, where he promised her his
protection, adding that he would take Joseph and her into his own
family, if she liked it; which assurance he confirmed with a squeeze by
the hand. She thanked him very kindly, and said, "She would acquaint
Joseph with the offer, which he would certainly be glad to accept; for
that Lady Booby was angry with them both; though she did not know either
had done anything to offend her, but imputed it to Madam Slipslop, who
had always been her enemy."
The squire now returned, and prevented any farther continuance of this
conversation; and the justice, out of a pretended respect to his guest,
but in reality from an apprehension of a rival (for he knew nothing of
his marriage), ordered Fanny into the kitchen, whither she gladly
retired; nor did the squire, who declined the trouble of explaining the
whole matter, oppose it.
It would be unnecessary, if I was able, which indeed I am not, to
relate the conversation between these two gentlemen, which rolled, as
I have been informed, entirely on the subject of horse-racing. Joseph
was soon drest in the plainest dress he could find, which was a blue
coat and breeches, with a gold edging, and a red waistcoat with the
same: and as this suit, which was rather too large for the squire,
exactly fitted him, so he became it so well, and looked so genteel,
that no person would have doubted its being as well adapted to his
quality as his shape; nor have suspected, as one might, when my Lord
, or Sir ----, or Mr ----, appear in lace or embroidery, that the
taylor's man wore those clothes home on his back which he should have
carried under his arm.
The squire now took leave of the justice; and, calling for Fanny, made
her and Joseph, against their wills, get into the coach with him, which
he then ordered to drive to Lady Booby's. It had moved a few yards only,
when the squire asked Joseph if he knew who that man was crossing the
field; for, added he, I never saw one take such strides before. Joseph
answered eagerly, "O, sir, it is parson Adams!" "O la, indeed, and so it
is," said Fanny; "poor man, he is coming to do what he could for us.
Well, he is the worthiest, best-natured creature."--"Ay," said Joseph;
"God bless him! for there is not such another in the universe." "The
best creature living sure," cries Fanny. "Is he?" says the squire; "then
I am resolved to have the best creature living in my coach;" and so
saying, he ordered it to stop, whilst Joseph, at his request, hallowed
to the parson, who, well knowing his voice, made all the haste
imaginable, and soon came up with them. He was desired by the master,
who could scarce refrain from laughter at his figure, to mount into the
coach, which he with many thanks refused, saying he could walk by its
side, and he'd warrant he kept up with it; but he was at length
over-prevailed on. The squire now acquainted Joseph with his marriage;
but he might have spared himself that labour; for his servant, whilst
Joseph was dressing, had performed that office before. He continued to
express the vast happiness he enjoyed in his sister, and the value he
had for all who belonged to her. Joseph made many bows, and exprest as
many acknowledgments: and parson Adams, who now first perceived Joseph's
new apparel, burst into tears with joy, and fell to rubbing his hands
and snapping his fingers as if he had been mad.
They were now arrived at the Lady Booby's, and the squire, desiring them
to wait a moment in the court, walked in to his aunt, and calling her
out from his wife, acquainted her with Joseph's arrival; saying, "Madam,
as I have married a virtuous and worthy woman, I am resolved to own her
relations, and show them all a proper respect; I shall think myself
therefore infinitely obliged to all mine who will do the same. It is
true, her brother hath been your servant, but he is now become my
brother; and I have one happiness, that neither his character, his
behaviour, or appearance, give me any reason to be ashamed of calling
him so. In short, he is now below, dressed like a gentleman, in which
light I intend he shall hereafter be seen; and you will oblige me beyond
expression if you will admit him to be of our party; for I know it will
give great pleasure to my wife, though she will not mention it."
This was a stroke of fortune beyond the Lady Booby's hopes or
expectation; she answered him eagerly, "Nephew, you know how easily I am
prevailed on to do anything which Joseph Andrews desires--Phoo, I mean
which you desire me; and, as he is now your relation, I cannot refuse to
entertain him as such." The squire told her he knew his obligation to
her for her compliance; and going three steps, returned and told her--he
had one more favour, which he believed she would easily grant, as she
had accorded him the former. "There is a young woman--"--"Nephew," says
she, "don't let my good-nature make you desire, as is too commonly the
case, to impose on me. Nor think, because I have with so much
condescension agreed to suffer your brother-in-law to come to my table,
that I will submit to the company of all my own servants, and all the
dirty trollops in the country." "Madam," answered the squire, "I believe
you never saw this young creature. I never beheld such sweetness and
innocence joined with such beauty, and withal so genteel." "Upon my soul
I won't admit her," replied the lady in a passion; "the whole world
shan't prevail on me; I resent even the desire as an affront, and--" The
squire, who knew her inflexibility, interrupted her, by asking pardon,
and promising not to mention it more. He then returned to Joseph, and
she to Pamela. He took Joseph aside, and told him he would carry him to
his sister, but could not prevail as yet for Fanny. Joseph begged that
he might see his sister alone, and then be with his Fanny; but the
squire, knowing the pleasure his wife would have in her brother's
company, would not admit it, telling Joseph there would be nothing in so
short an absence from Fanny, whilst he was assured of her safety;
adding, he hoped he could not so easily quit a sister whom he had not
seen so long, and who so tenderly loved him. Joseph immediately
complied; for indeed no brother could love a sister more; and,
recommending Fanny, who rejoiced that she was not to go before Lady
Booby, to the care of Mr Adams, he attended the squire upstairs, whilst
Fanny repaired with the parson to his house, where she thought herself
secure of a kind reception.