# The Rebellion in the Cevennes/Volume 1/Chapter VII

CHAPTER VII.
Somedays had elapsed and the Counsellor of Parliament had not seen his son. Franz, the old domestic, had in the mean while set out on a journey, and Joseph, as well as the female servants had not ventured to disturb Edmond. The father was deeply concerned, for his son had never before so pointedly avoided him. His grief lay principally in the feeling, that he could not simply take the shortest and most natural way, with all a father's authority, to force an entrance into his room, which was always locked, and to question him about his condition. He learned from Joseph, that his son always locked himself in, that he was heard to sigh, nay, to weep, and that at night he would steal out to wander about on the mountains, and then would as ​secretly return in the morning, and avoid every body, in order to go and shut himself up again as before. He seemed also to observe a rigid fast, for he took no food and sent away every thing that was offered to him. "I no longer understand him," said the old man to himself, as he was left once more alone; "his high-wrought feelings destroy him, and I, his father, must see him go to ruin without being able to do anything to save him. At length the dark spirits are roused, that I have so long heard in their slumbers; they have now assuredly taken possession of his soul."
It was late, and the night was still and dark; he dismissed the servants, in order to be able to converse uninterruptedly with his son, for it appeared to him an indispensable duty to make himself acquainted with his condition, the uncertainty of which weighed more painfully on his heart than the conviction of an actual misfortune would have done. He took therefore the master-key, in order to ascend the great ​staircase, when he heard the door of his son's room opened; he stood still, and a ghastly pale figure in a dusky green coarse doublet, descended towards him, his gun was slung over his shoulder, his hair in wild disorder, his eyes dim, "Oh heaven!" exclaimed the father, "I think I see a spirit, and it is you my son!"—He tottered, and trembling was compelled to sit down on the stairs. "Is it you in reality?"—"It is myself," answered Edmond in a hollow voice. "How?" said the old man, "thus, in this figure? thus ill? in this dress? you look though as like a Camisard, as if you were one of them."—"It is so too," answered the son, "I am now going up into the mountains to them."
The father started up violently, he seized his son powerfully in his arms, and thus carried him with supernatural strength into the saloon; he placed him in an armchair, took the candle, looked at him scrutinizingly and examined his whole ​figure seized him by the breast and cried out vehemently: "Wouldst thou act thus to me, unnatural son?"—
"Yes," answered Edmond coldly, "I cannot do otherwise, I must!—leave me! I thought, however, for once that I should win your approhation."
"As a rebel?" cried the Counsellor of Parliament in a vehement voice, "as a murderer? that I must see die under martyrdom at the gallows? to outrage my grey hair? one whom the father must deliver up into the hands of the execuioner?"
The son looked at him fixedly, but coldly and collectedly; the father was deeply affected at it, but, at this ghastly look, had lost the strength which supernatural terror had lent him for a moment, and weeping aloud, he fell upon his son, who threw his arms round him, embraced him, and by his caresses sought to console the afflicted old man. "Oh, my son!" began the father, after a long pause, often interrupted by ​sobs, "for many years I have not experienced these tokens of affection in you, and now in this terrible moment, in which my whole life vanishes as in a dream, in which you have so violently torn my heart!—I cannot recover myself, I cannot question you, and what shall I experience if my entreaties, my love, if nothing will break your stubborn, enigmatical will? Oh, God of love! is there, in all the feelings thou hast created, one more fervid than that of a father to a child? and do we know the tremendous affliction we implore, when we entreat heaven for children?"
They remained long clasped in each other's arms, at length Edmond said: "Let me depart with your blessing, my father."
"That I cannot give to your dreadful designs," replied the Counsellor; "It is so fearful, that I must still look upon you and myself as two spectres."
Both were silent for a long time. At last the father said: "I will not entreat of you to go to rest, for I greatly fear that ​you will not obey me, it is fruitless also that I should seek for repose in sleep, for slumber would flee from my shaken brain; what I may learn to morrow, I may as well hear to-day; if I can conceive, if I can comprehend that which is incomprehensible, perhaps, it would terrify me less, perhaps, I shall yield to grief and sorrow, and necessity, as to the storm, or the earthquake; but from this spectral terror, from this almost mask-like enigma, which threatens to drive me mad, deliver me at least from this by speech and narration."
"Can it be expressed, my father?" began Edmond, "will you comprehend what I myself cannot understand with my common knowledge? We should not indeed comprehend, if this hall round us were suddenly turned into Hesperian gardens, but we should enjoy the fruit, we should live and exist in the miracle, even though by that means we should forget that yet some other knowledge were wanting."
"Has that delirium also taken possession ​of you," cried the old man, "in its peculiar way and wrapped you in the folds of its dark vestments? now I would have sworn that you were free from that! and yet I should have done wrong, for all fanatacism is but the twinborn of the apparently most improbable and inimical."
"You speak what your mind prompts," said the son, "and I understand you perfectly, but you do not understand me."
"Well, Edmond, you may be right, only speak, relate to me, perhaps I may be able to approach nearer to your soul."
"How much I hated these Huguenots," began Edmond, "how much I abhorred their war against the king, their fanaticism and prophets, that I despised the gross deception of those people, I need not tell you, for my irritated feelings made you unhappy and it seems that I am destined to cause your misery, I may place myself now as then on whatever side I like.—
He stopped for a short time and then resumed; "with these sentiments I dressed ​myself in the peasant’s clothes, which were so hateful to me, our friend quitted me, as you know, and I went with his son up into the mountains. Florentine jested about our expedition, I was much vexed at and ashamed of my purpose. When we advanced farther into the mountains, some figures glided before us on the solitary footpath, we followed the direction they took, and arrived with them in about half an hour at a lonely barn. They knocked, it was opened to us. I cannot describe the feeling with which I entered into this rustic assembly. It was a loathing of mind and body. Some were kneeling, others were standing praying, I approached the latter and tried to imitate them. Everything went on quietly, all eyes were bent on the ground, a few old women only muttered their psalms between their teeth. All at once a boy about eight years old fell down as if in convulsions. My repugnance was at its highest pitch, for now I saw before me the deformed spectacle, the relation of which had for ​many years previously excited my liveliest indignation. The child’s breast heaved, he leaped up, and threw himself down again, and I thought to have distinctly perceived the voluntary exertion. All the faithful, hoping and comforted, turned upon him their eyes. Never in my life had I more self-possession, never was I so rock-firm in my conviction; my thoughts became more and more irritated, I only wished myself back again, in order to give free vent to my hatred. Suddenly the child exclaimed in a hoarse voice: "verily I bless ye, ye shall be blessed!"—Now in the stream which flowed incessantly, came inumerable prayers and exortations as well as passages from the holy scriptures and their explanation, all in reference to existing circumstances. I was still more astounded, when the boy cried out: "Beware my brethren; for two traitors have made their way into the assembly, who intend you evil." I looked up, young Vila turned pale, he was standing at the ​door, and slipped out, when it was opened to new comers. "One is escaped," groaned the child as he still lay with his eyes and senses closed, "but the second mocker is still present, he knows not that I, the Lord, have led him hither, that he may become one of mine." I was terrified, my inmost soul was moved and emotions rose in my heart, which I had never experienced before. They began to sing psalms, and however discordant they may have sounded, they made no unpleasant impression on me, my mind followed the glorious words, the misfortune of these desolate creatures, their contrition before the Lord, the fearful haughtiness of their adversaries, vibrated and shrieked heartrendingly in this unharmonious lamentation; it appeared to me absurd that until now harmony had been necessary to me when I wished to raise my heart in prayer. Does not the universal lament of creation strike on his ear? Do not praise and thanksgivings with tears and cries of sorrow rise ​equally to his throne? To this feeling were added many more, and weak, poor and unintelligible did the whole course of my past life appear to me. Do these statues, lights and temples then make any difference, said I to myself, with all this pomp of riches and splendour? will the Lord who walked bound as a slave among us, and suffered himself to be illtreated, will he not be mocked through it? Do not these wretched beings represent him anew before our eyes? can I not in each one of these persecuted ones greet himself? feed, clothe, and protect him?—Then I felt as if all the sorrow and strife, which these mountains have endured for years were piercing in countless multitudes through my own wounded breast. Another boy now fell down and cried, 'go out into the wood, Elias, Marion, and some of the faithful are approaching, they have strayed; induce them to come with psalms, for to-day, you have no persecution to fear.' Some went out from the assembly, and sang with loud ​voices, and soon afterwards returned with a great number of enthusiasts, among whom a tall man advanced, who was respectfully saluted by all. "Triumph!" said the child aloud, still prostrate on the ground, the disbeliever is overcome, he will enter into the kingdom of the Lord." Then I felt the blow of a great hammer suddenly against my breast. I struggled with this feeling, and conquered it. The humble divine worship of this poor pitiable congregation was continued with psalms, and calmly uttered inspired discourses. Marion spoke the word of life, which penetrated through all my faculties; in what dreadful error I had been wandering untill then! All contingencies vanished, it, was granted to me to look upon the Lord, and the strength of his miracles in their simple glory, and to behold his meek and lowly form. If until then my soul had been only overshadowed by pomp, legends, false emotions and artificial elevations; as splendid hangings of silk and ​gold only confine the pure rays of celestial light, and give but a false brilliancy to its glory. My heart was contrite and as a wound of sorrow, and emotion; my spirit was like that of a child. The Most High stood by my side, and stretched out his bleeding hand to me, which had been now again pierced by us miserable wretches. The glance from his tearful eyes went to my soul, then I was filled with wrathful melancholy and joyful sorrow, and in this emotion, I was smitten again when the assembly dispersed. "What is nature?" this question I had often asked myself when I rambled with enthusiasm through wooded mountains and verdant valleys magically lighted and covered with the breath of morning, embalmed by the fresh zephyrs, and filled with all the lovely presentiments which inspire us with such pleasing dreams. Oh, my father! now I understand the deep wailings in the woods and in the mountains, in the gurgling stream, the word of ​the Eternal himself and his almighty compassion on us unhappy, lost creatures, was murmured to me from every wave and from every bough. With a million of tongues the countless foliage reproached my negligent tardiness. My eye pierced through the past and future, my thoughts were adoration, my feelings holy devotion.
"I plunged into the thickest woods and gave a free course to my flowing tears. I now received the third summons and I no longer resisted it. In the solitude of night, my whole being was absorbed in prayer and thanksgiving, wonderously the strongest words poured forth without the slightest exertion, as tears flow without design, as wave follows wave down the stream, as the wind puts in motion the numberless foliage of the forest, thus led by a higher and invisible spirit, my speech was changed into prophecy. A new being arose within me, I no longer recognised that of yesterday. In the mirror of my inmost soul another eye, different from my own, met ​mine, nevertheless this was really myself. Now resting, now walking, I found myself in the twilight of morning in the district of Sauve among the recesses of the mountains. You know, my father, the lofty situation of the dreary landscape there, no tree, no shrub, scarcely a solitary blade of grass upon the barren, whitechalky waste, and as far as the eye extends, trunks of trees, heaps of lime stones in all shapes, like men, animals and horses, dazzling and fatiguing the sight, spread about, and at intervals rolling stones, and a little lower down, the small, gloomy, solitary town. Here I threw myself down again and gazed upon the waste ruin around. and upon the dark blue sky above me, strange how my spirit wandered there! I cannot explain by any human language, how instantaneously my heart was impressed with every feeling of belief, with every noble thought, how creation, nature, and the strangest mystery, man with his wonderful energies and his common ​dependance on the elements, how vain, how contradictory and ridiculous all this appeared to me now. I could not collect myself, I was compelled incessantly to follow this train of thought and to find relief in loud laughter. Then there was no God, no spirit, nothing but puerility, madness, and deformity, in all that creeps, swims, and flies, especially in this ball that thinks, reflects, and weeps, and underneath devours and masticates. Oh, let me be silent and not again discover the maddening images that took possession of my mind, annihilation, dead, cold non-existence appeared to me alone desirable and noble. I was utterly undone, and painful was my return to life, but I at length found it with the help of the compassionate one." The father seized his son’s hand, "Mark my child," said he mildly, "as soon as all these wonderous sensations shall in wild controversy have traversed your soul, you will assuredly be yourself again and return to us entirely. ​Your lacerated heart will resume its tranquility and repose after these commotions, and then will your understanding and free will abandon your fearful purpose."
"Never! my father," exclaimed the youth with sudden vehemence, "this was my temptation in the wilderness, which the All Merciful shortened to a few hours, and then opened his paternal arms to me again. It might have lasted for weeks and months, had he not been willing to shew compassion to my weakness. You believe me not, you doubt, but what will you say if I give you the most undeniable proofs, that this my enlightening is no false, or artificial one, if you will even be compelled to own to me, that I not only know myself by this, but also all that is unconnected with me."
"What do you mean by that?" demanded the old man bewildered, "I do not understand you, my son."
"When I resumed my human feelings and had refreshed myself, I wandered ​again to the green wood that extends towards Florac, there, where the rocks assume a grand character as far as the mountains of Lozere. The place pleased me and I passed the night in the open air.
"What did you do on this second night of my absence? where did Franz remain? do you think that I do not know all?" The father looked at him with fear.
"What do you know?" asked he stammering. "When I again turned my thoughts on the Saviour," said the son, "and endeavoured to account for my bewilderment, in order to assist my researches, I felt compelled to think on you, on my sister and on our house, thus will it assuredly be after death, the soul will still cast lingering looks after its cherished old nature and be unable for a length of time to comprehend its new thoughts and strange existence. Suddenly, when my ardent desire was accomplished; I saw you; all was still in the house, you went with Franz more quietly than usual and ​with great caution into the library, the window shutters and doors were closed, there was only one taper burning. With the help of Franz you removed the folios, and at the same time drew back the first bolt of the chest, by the pressure of a spring you opened the pannel, which slid back into the wall and threw light into the little enclosed recess. I saw several small chests standing there, jewels of costly value were in them, that I never knew of and which you never mentioned to me, but Franz seemed to know all. You opened the cases, arranged them and added some others to them. Franz wept and said: "So now my wish will be at length accomplished of living at Geneva in future and openly acknowledging the faith that I have been compelled to deny here." This also was new and unexpected to me. Then you embraced the old servant heartily, kissed him on the mouth and said with emotion: "You are now no longer my servant, but my friend, my most confidential friend, for to you I ​confide my entire welfare, my property, and my children. God protect you on your way there and back, give these letters into the right hands at the same time with this little treasure; steal as you can over the frontiers, then we are safe, and return directly with favourable answers." That very night, he accomplished fifteen leagues."
The old man trembled violently; he examined his son doubtingly, his face was pale. "Where have you seen all this?" demanded he at length. "Yonder in the mountains of Lozere, fourteen leagues from here." There was a pause. "I must believe you," said the father. "Be it a miracle, delirium, an undiscovered strength of nature; I see, but I understand it not. All is in reality as you have said, but your manner is terrible to me. Do you not then believe, that as you have fallen, in so unusually strange a manner, into this disposition, conviction, and miraculous gift, there may be also means, which heaven, if you in faith ​and humility call upon God will open to reconduct you into the ordinary walk of mankind, far from these fearful rocks upon which you must inevitably founder."
"You understand me not, I tell you once more" cried the youth, "although I quite understand your meaning. You do not trust the token that I have given you. Yet," added he smiling, "you are not quite so hardened just now, better thoughts steal over your soul, though also from the region of unbelief."
"And what is it?" asked they father, "you will otherwise make me believe that you are able to penetrate into all the hidden depths of the heart."
"You were thinking just now," said Edmond:—
"Let him take his course, the evil must now have reached its height, perhaps God wills that he should find at length by this more than wonderful means, his salvation, and that he may learn later to cool by reason and true christian humility, the ​fanaticism, that now transform him into a lunatic. Thus do you think of me, thus do you deny the spirit." "My son," said the old man with uplifted looks, "is it a good spirit that prompts you? is it not perhaps the wild wandering of nature herself in you that transports you beyond her own limits?"
The son cast again that terrifying look on his father, which rendered him mute.
"You are free," said the old man, "affection alone, not force should retain you. Go then and follow the dictates of your own heart. My prayers shall accompany you, and, may be, they will have the power to mitigate, or ward off the worst."
"Surely you are not opposed to my taking to my poor brethren my small fortune," said Edmond perfectly tranquillised, "they are more in need of it than we."
"Take also this purse from me," said the father, "I desire not to know to what purpose you destine it, but the unfortunate men yonder are in want of it."
"Franz is coming!" exclaimed Edmond; ​"Where?" enquired the Counsellor:—"He is still far behind the mountains, I see him only with my inward eyes. The over-cautious old man! he has hidden the letter in his boot, there he is leaning against an old tree, and is pulling it out. I could read the letter to you if I liked, but I perceive that it contains good news for you, let that suffice. Permit me now to go, before the old man returns to oppress my heart anew with his lamentations, or to excite my anger."
Father and son long held each other closely embraced; the old Lord seemed overpowered with grief and tears; Edmond gently disengaged himself from his paternal arms, returned once more and kissed his father. With hasty steps he traversed the garden and ascended the vineyard; there he stood still once more, and from thence waved a handkerchief downwards in salutation, while Franz issued from the wood on the opposite side and held up the letters exultingly in the distance.