# The Book of Betty Barber/Chapter 4

CHAPTER IV
“TIME—DECORATOR”
Up the staircase, down the staircase, tramp, tramp, tramp. Major C was beginning to feel better. He stopped shouting, and started thinking instead. The longer he thought about it, the more determined he became never to allow a Flat or a Sharp on his beautiful, clean white staircase. Yet something must be done.
Minora thought his house dull, Betty Barber thought he was dull, perhaps other children would think him dull, too.
The Major looked up and down and sighed. Then he heard sounds of shouting outside the house. He walked to the window and looked out.
Quite a number of men and boys were gathered round a cart, which was drawn up opposite the front gate.
Major C threw open the window wide.
“Now, then, look where you’re throwing. One, two, three, are you ready? Here, catch these bars.”
Major C could hear the shouts, as the men began to unload the cart and carry the things to his own side door. The Major could scarcely believe his eyes, and almost tumbled out of the window in his desire to get nearer. Were the things for Minora? Major C looked at the cart again more carefully,
On the side was painted in large letters “Time— Decorator.”
“Decorator?” said Major C very much puzzled. “Can Minora be thinking of decorating her staircase without consulting me?”
​ The Major hurried downstairs and threw the front door open.
The men were still busy unloading the cart, and all kinds of queer things were being carried to the Major’s side door—curved black bars, straight black bars, round black balls, large numbers fastened one above the other—which Major C knew were time signatures—and big signboards with long names painted on them.
The Major coughed loudly. The men and boys were far too busy to notice him.
“May I ask———” he began.
The unloading of the cart went on steadily.
“Would you kindly tell me———” said the Major, trying again, and speaking more loudly.
He had made himself heard at last.
“The master will be here directly,” said a smart little black boy, who moved very quickly, and spoke very quickly.
“Excuse me,” said Major C, “but the master is here. I am the master, I am Major C.”
“That’s all right,” said the small boy, “we were to bring the things to Major C’s, and pile them up at his side door. It’s all right, boys,” he shouted to the others. “He says he is Major C, so this is the right house. You see, we couldn’t be quiet sure of the house,” he said, addressing Major C, “as you haven’t a door-plate; but we’ll soon put all that right for you.”
“Excuse me———” began Major C. Then he looked up the road, and saw Minora walking towards the house with a very old-looking gentleman, whose hair was very white, and whose beard was very long. Minora hastened up the steps to the Major.
“I am so sorry I couldn’t get back before,” she said.
“Minora,” said the Major, “I think you ought to have told me you were thinking of getting your staircase decorated by this gentleman.”
“I’m very sorry,” said Minora, meekly.
“Never mind,” said the Major. “I will forgive you; but I should like to speak to the gentleman myself.”
“Of course,” said Minora, “but let me tell you first———”
“Fetch the gentleman, and let me speak to him,” said the Major, so decidedly that Minora hopped down the steps without another word.
“He wants to speak to you himself,” she whispered to the old gentleman, “Come up the steps.”
“Mr. Time, I believe,” said the Major.
“Father Time I am usually called, sir,” said the old gentleman.
“I beg pardon, Father Time,” said the Major. “May I ask you to step inside, Father Time? I was thinking perhaps you might be able to assist me———”
Minora opened her eyes very wide.
“To decorate my house,” continued the Major. “I myself think it is quite satisfactory as it is; but there are those who consider it dull.”
“I can promise you the most careful and prompt attention,” said Father Time. “May I be permitted to view the premises? Then I will furnish you with plans of decoration, hoping that one may meet with your approval. Excuse me one moment,” and he ran down the steps.
“I’m so glad,” said Minora, “I’m so glad. I thought———”
“Never mind what you thought, Minora,” said the Major stiffly.
“Here I am, at your service,” said Father Time. “I have spoken to my people.”
Major C waved his hand, and invited Father Time to enter.
“You will observe———” he began.
But Father Time hurried up the staircase, and before the Major had time to object he was down again.
“Pardon me,” he said, “I am a very busy person. I am quite prepared to propose several schemes. What would you think of building up chords on each stair, and adding a bass?”
The Major frowned. “I should tumble over the cords,” he said.
“You don’t take to that scheme,” said Father Time. “Very
“The Men were still Busy Unloading the Cart” (p. 35)
​well, then, we abandon it at once. I must strongly recommend you to try a signature. That seems an absolute necessity. Which kind do you prefer? Before you decide, I should very much like to give you some idea—of course, it can only be a rough one—of the general effect. Just one moment, and, needless to remark, when say a moment I mean a moment.”
Once more he tripped down the steps and spoke to the men, sending one here, another there, and all his directions were quickly and silently obeyed.
“They were making such a noise before he spoke to them,” said Major C, “he certainly is a wonderful old gentleman.”
“And such a clever one, too,” said Minora. “He’ll make your staircase look grand.”
Father Time appeared at the front door once more, carrying a long wand in his hand.
“We will first try three Crotchets,” he said, and he waved his stick in the air.
Immediately all the men and boys placed themselves in a long line in the most orderly way.
“Three-four,” called Father Time.
Three smart boys, dressed all in black, stepped forward and bowed.
“Crotchets, you know,” said Father Time. “Now, do you prefer Legato or Staccato? Minim, fetch a slur, Semibreve, three dots please.”
A round-faced fat boy, so fat and round that he seemed to be all face and body without legs, rolled to the pile of things heaped up at the side door, picked up a curved black bar, rolled back again, and held the bar over the Crotchets.
“Are you ready?” called Father Time, waving his stick.
The Crotchets joined hands and glided smoothly over the ground.
“Legato,” explained Father Time. “Now, please, Staccato!”
The Crotchets each took a black ball, held it over his head, and jumped suddenly in the air.
“Now, if you have a Staccato Crotchet on each stair,” said Father Time, “the house would be no longer dull.”
“No,” said Major C, “but I should have a great many Crotchets.”
“And too many Crotchets in any house are not pleasant,” said Minora.
“Really,” began Father Time, looking quite annoyed. “Well, well, I must think of something else,” he added quickly. “Perhaps you would like to try common time, and use Semibreves only, they are slow. Then, to avoid dulness, you might label each bar differently, one ‘Presto,’ one ‘Andante.’ That would give great——— Excuse me one moment.” And Father Time put down his stick.
A messenger ran up the steps, whispered to Father Time, and ran down again.
“I’m very sorry,” said the old gentleman, “but I shall have to leave you. There’s a Russian gentleman wanting me at once. He is in difficulties; but it’s the last scene of his opera, so I shan’t be very long. Will you be trying experiments with the Semibreves? Good-bye, I’ll be back very quickly.” And Father Time hurried away.
“He is a very busy person,” said the Major.
“What a pity he had to go,” said Minora.
“Now, then, come along,” said the Semibreve, “we had better begin. What did he say?”
“Common time, I think,” said Minora, who had picked up Father Time’s wand, and was holding it in her hand.
“Then two of us can manage each bar,” said the Semibreve. “Fetch some labels.”
“I’ll come and choose them,” said Minora, and she ran down the steps.
The boys and men moved out of the way. Directly she spoke her orders were obeyed. Minora had never before felt so strong and cheerful, so capable of giving orders. She chose labels, she ordered them to be carried up to the Major, she ​decided for him which would be best, in point of fact she managed everything,
The Major looked rather disturbed and unhappy about it all, but Minora was thoroughly enjoying herself.
“Suppose we had two labels for each bar,” she said, “the children would think it great fun.”
“It would be very confusing,” said the Major; “but it is allconfusing.”
“Oh, no,” said Minora. “Let me show you. I will be back in one minute,” she called to the men and boys. Then, putting Father Time’s wand down on the top step, she ran indoors and shut the front door.
“Now, watch me,” she said. “We will have two labels, ‘Andante’ and ‘Presto’—slowly and quickly they mean, you know—on the first flight of stairs. Then we should have to go slowly up the first two steps, and very quickly up the next two Hullo! What is the matter outside?”
She threw the front door open and nearly tumbled over one of the Crotchets, who was standing on the top step waving Father Time’s wand in the air, shouting at the top of his voice, “Come on, come on, I won’t have Semibreves or Minims. I will have Semi-demi-semi-quavers, and see how the silly old man.———”
Then he saw Minora and the Major.
“What are you doing?” said Minora.
“We are coming into the house,” cried the Crotchet. “Come on, come on,” he shouted to the others.
“You shan’t come in,” said Minora, and seizing Major C’s arm, she dragged him inside and banged the door.
He sank down on the first stair.
“What is the matter?” he said.
The Crotchet was hammering on the door, and all the others were shouting.
“Tell them to go away, Minora,” said the Major. “Tell them I will have nothing at all done to my house. Why, oh why, did you ever ask them to come?”
​ “They will batter the door down directly,” said Minora. “I’ll speak to them out of the window, if I can make them listen to me.”
Minora ran downstairs, threw the window open wide, and looked down on the crowd.
They stopped battering at the door when they saw her, though they went on shouting as loudly as ever.
The Crotchet was still waving the wand in the air.
Minora tried to make herself heard, but it was useless.
“Is Father Time coming?” called the Major.
Minora did not answer. Minora was watching the wand waving backwards and forwards.
She shut the window, hid beneath it a couple of seconds, then opened the window suddenly. She stretched out her arm, grasped the stick firmly, and pulled it away from the Crotchet. Then she shut the window again, and ran down the steps to Major C, who was sitting with his head in his hands, looking white and old and worried.
“We shall never escape Minora,” said the Major, “they will batter the house down.”
Minora laughed. She no longer felt a bit afraid.
“It’s all right,” she said. “Listen, they have stopped shouting. I know all about it now. Hold this wand.”
The Major took the wand in his hand. It had a wonderful effect upon him. He pulled himself together, he sat up straight, then he rose and marched upstairs.
“I will speak to them myself,” he said, “I will tell them to go away.”
He opened the window and leant out but the crowd had disappeared, only Father Time stood on the doorstep.
“There you are,” said Father Time. “I’m sorry to trouble you, but I left my wand. Oh, thank you so much. I’ll be back again directly. Hope you are getting on all right.” And, taking the wand, the old man hurried away before the Major could say a word.
The Major stared after him, then he shut the window and hurried back to Minora.
“Dear, dear, what a pity!” said Minora. “I don’t know what we are to do without the wand. Why didn’t you tell Father Time?”
“Was it the wand that made me feel so strong?” asked the Major.
“Of course,” said Minora, “it’s a wonderful wand. There’s a knock at the door. Now what’s the matter? I hope they haven’t all come back again. I’ll peep, before I open the door.”
Minora ran to the window, peeped without being seen, and hurried down to the Major.
“Anybody there?” asked the Major.
“Anybody there!” said Minora. “They are all there, and, what is worse, I saw troops of Sharps and Flats collecting together up the road.”
“What shall we do? What shall we do? They will batter the house down!” cried the Major.
“They shan’t get inside,” said Minora.
“Oh, why did you ever bother about them?” wailed the Major. “Why did I ever think of altering my beautiful staircase? It’s all your fault, Minora.”
“We’d better get away as quickly as we can,” said Minora. “I’ll have another peep to see what is happening.”
“I won’t leave my house,” cried the Major, “they would destroy it.”
Minora peeped. Father Time’s men and boys had left the steps and were running up the road, talking and shouting, to meet the Sharps and Flats.
“Now is our chance,” said Minora, “if only I can get him out of the house, before they come back,” and she ran to the Major.
He was sitting on the stairs, saying very decidedly, “I will never leave my house, I will never alter my house.”
“Major,” said Minora, “you said it was all my fault; but it isn’t, it is Betty Barber’s fault. Come with me. Let us go ​together and look for that book, which has brought you into all this trouble.”
“We will,” said the Major. “We will tear it up. Come along.” And he jumped up quite briskly.
“We will go quickly too,” said Minora, “we will prevent any other children reading the rubbish.”
“But we must not let Lucy know that we have torn it up,” said the Major.
The crowd in the road was busy shouting, each one trying to shout louder than every one else.
In order to punish the Major and Minora they were all determined to pull the house to pieces; but were too much occupied to notice the departure of the owner, though the Major saw them.
“I should like to speak to them,” he said, “to tell them they must not touch my house.”
“If we waste time,” said Minora, anxious to get him away, “some other child will read the book. Besides, look, I believe I see Father Time with his wand. He will quiet them.”
“Then come,” said the Major, “we will go and look for the book, I know exactly where to find it.”