# Ah Q and Others/The Divorce

"Ah, ah, Uncle Mu! Happy New Year! Fa-tsai, fa-tsai!"
"Ni-how, Pa-san! Happy New Year!"
"Ai, ai. Happy New Year! Ai-ku also here?"
"Ah, ah. Uncle Mu . . . "
A chorus of voices thus greeted Chuang Mu-san and his daughter Ai-ku as they stepped on the passenger boat at Mu Lien Bridge. Some of the passengers raised their clasped hands in salutation, while others made room on the plank along the side of the boat. Chuang Mu-san greeted them all as he sat down, leaning his long pipe against the side of the boat. Ai-ku sat to his left and her sicklelike feet formed the character eight with the more open side facing Pa-san.
"Are you going to the city, Uncle Mu?" asked one with a crab-shell face.
"Not to the city," Uncle Mu answered with a worried look—though one could not be sure of the worry, so wrinkled was his brown-sugar colored face. "I am going Pang-chuang for a little while."
The boat was silent and all eyes were fixed on them.
"Is it still about Ai-ku's affair?" Pa-san asked after a long while.
"Still about her . . . How sick of it I am! It has been ​going on now for all of three years, always fighting, making up, nothing ever settled . . . "
"Is it going to be at His Honor Wei's house again?"
"Yes, still at his house. He has acted as peacemaker several times for them, but I never agreed to the terms. But that does not matter much. This time they are entertaining relatives at the New Year, even His Honor Seven from the city is going to be there."
"His Honor Seven?" Pa-san's eyes popped wide open. "Is he taking a hand in the matter too? That is . . . But last year we really gave them a good example of what we are capable of, when we topped it all by tearing up their stove. That made us about even. Moreover, Ai-ku will hardly find it comfortable there after all that has happened." After saying this, he looked down at the bottom of the boat.
"It is not that I am anxious to go back to them, Pa-san-ko!" Ai-ku said, raising her head angrily. "I am doing this to spite them. The little beast cannot throw me aside for that little widow. I'll show them that he cannot get away with it so easily. The old beast always sides with his son and he wants to get rid of me, too. It won't be easy, I tell you. What if His Honor Seven is taking a hand? Do you mean to say that he would not talk human speech, simply because he has become a sworn brother of the magistrate? He'll know better than merely to say that it is better to break up. I should like to tell him what I've suffered in the last few years and see what he has to say." Pa-san was silenced by this outburst of eloquence. The boat was quiet except for the splashing of water against the bow. Chuang Mu-san took his pipe and filled it. A fat man seated next to Pa-san and diagonally across from Mu-san ​took from his pocket a set of flint and steel, lighted the tinder, and held it to the bowl.
"Thank you, thank you," Mu-san said, nodding.
"Although this is our first meeting. I've known Uncle Mu's name for a long time," the fat man said deferentially. "Yes, who in these three-six-eighteen villages by the sea does not know all about the affair? We all know that that Shih family's son is carrying on with a widow. When Uncle Mu and his six sons went to their house and tore up their stove last year, was there any one who did not say that it served them right? You, sir, are one who can walk through the tallest gates and into the biggest houses with the greatest ease and confidence. You need have no fear of them!"
"Uncle, you are surely an understanding one," Ai-ku said, pleased, "though I do not know who you are."
"My name is Wang Te-kuei," the fat man said eagerly. Ai-ku continued, "It just won't do to cast me aside. I do not care whether it is His Honor Seven or His Honor Eight. I'll keep them going until their home is destroyed and their people dead! Didn't His Honor Wei beg me four times to give them peace? Father got dizzy from counting the money they had to pay . . . "
"Keep quiet, your mother's——!" Mu-san muttered to his daughter.
"I was told that the Shihs presented His Honor Wei with a complete banquet at the last year-end," said the man with the crab-shell face.
"That doesn't make any difference," said Wang Te-kuei. ​"A banquet cannot make one blind to all justice. If a banquet can do that, then what about a banquet in foreign style? These scholars are understanding men and they make it a point to help those who have justice on their side. For instance, if a crowd of men should pick on one man, the scholars would come out and stand up for him. They wouldn't care whether they got any wine to drink or not. Last year-end His Honor Jung came back from Peking. He has seen the world; he is different from us country people. And he said that the best of the lot in that house is Kuang tai-tai, she is so independent."
"Passengers for Wang's Cove ashore!" shouted the boatman, as the boat slowed down.
"I'm getting off!" The fat man quickly grabbed his pipe and jumped ashore. "Excuse me, excuse me," he said to the people in the boat.
The boat resumed its forward movement in the new silence and the splashing of water became quite audible again. Pa-san began to doze and his mouth dropped open in the direction of the sicklelike feet. Two old women in the front part of the cabin started to murmur the names of the Buddhas, counting them off on their prayer beads. They glanced at Ai-ku, and then looked, nodded and tilted their mouths at each other.
Ai-ku's eyes were fixed on the ceiling of mat which covered the boat, probably rehearsing how she was going to plague her in-laws until "their home was destroyed and their people dead," until both the "old beast" and the "little beast" did not know what to do or where to turn. She did not think much of His Honor Wei—she had seen him twice ​before—he was nothing but a short man with a round face and a round head. In her own village there were several people like him, except that they were darker and more sunburned.
Chuang Mu-san's pipe had been smoked down to the bottom and the fire made a sizzling noise as he continued to puff at it. He knew that Pang-chuang was right next to Wang's Cove: in fact it was already possible to see the Kuei-hsing Tower at the entrance to the former village. He had been to Pang-chuang several times before to see those unspeakable people and His Honor Wei. He remembered how his daughter had come back crying, how detestable his son-in-law was, how he had plagued them and got even with them. Reviewing the details of his previous raids and incursions, he remembered how he used to smile the cold smile of confidence as he planned what he would do this time; but on the present occasion he did not smile: for into the familiar pattern of his calculations the fat figure of His Honor Seven had suddenly intruded itself, making it impossible to imagine what might happen.
The boat continued its way in silence. The sound of the invocation of the Buddhas became louder. Otherwise all was quiet, as if to help Mu-san and Ai-ku with their thoughts.
"Uncle Mu, this is where you get off. We are at Pang-chuang."
Mu-san woke from his reflections to find that they were now in front of the Kuei-hsing Tower.
He jumped ashore, followed by Ai-ku, passed by under the tower and walked in the direction of His Honor Wei's house, which was reached after passing about twenty or thirty houses and making a turn at the end. There were four boats moored in a row in front of the house.
​They entered the gate with black doors and were ushered into the gatekeeper's room. Outside under the archway there were tables already filled with boatmen and hired men. Ai-ku was not quite brazen enough to look at them closely but a brief glance told her that the "old beast" and the "little beast" were not among them. By the time the New Year pudding soup was brought out, she became more uneasy than ever, without knowing why. "Is it possible that he won't talk human speech, simply because he has become a sworn brother of the magistrate?" she said to herself in an effort to bolster up her courage. "Yes, scholars are understanding men. I'll explain everything to His Honor Seven. I'll begin with the time when I was married into their house at the age of fifteen . . . "
When she finished her pudding soup she surmised that the moment was near. Soon she and her father were following a hired man and making their way toward the inner compound. They passed through the great hall, turned a corner, and stepped into the reception hall.
She did not have time to look carefully at all the things in the room or the people in it, but she was impressed by the shiny, purple-blue satin horse jackets that so many of them wore. She was sure that the man who caught her eyes first was His Honor Seven. Although he also was round faced and round headed, he was nevertheless much heavier and more impressive than His Honor Wei. His huge face carried two thin, slitlike eyes and a thin moustache. His head was close shaven and both his scalp and face were pink and shiny. Ai-ku marveled at it, but she found an explanation immediately: he must have smeared himself with pork fat.
"This is known as an 'anus-stopper,' something which the ​ancients inserted into the anus of the dead at encoffining time," His Honor Seven was saying as he held up a mottled stone object. He rubbed it a couple of times against the side of his nose and continued, "Too bad it is comparatively new. But it is worth buying. At the latest, Han. Look at this, it is known as 'quick silver impregnate' . . . "
Several heads were immediately bent over the mysterious phenomenon. His Honor Wei's head was, naturally, among these, but there were also the heads of several young masters, whom Ai-ku had not noticed as their presence had been overwhelmed by more luminous personages.
She did not comprehend the last remark, but she had neither the curiosity nor the courage to seek enlightenment. Therefore, she took the opportunity to steal a look around the room and behold! there close to the wall at one side of the door stood the "old beast" and the "little beast." Though it was only a glance, she could see clearly that both seemed older and more weary than when she saw them last, about a half year ago.
The crowd around the "quick silver impregnate" broke up. His Honor Wei took the "anus-stopper" and sat down. Then turning to Chuang Mu-san he said, while fondling the extraordinary object:
"Just you two?"
"Yes."
"Didn't any of your sons come with you?"
"They didn't have time."
"I did not mean to disturb you at New Year time. But—it is still about that matter . . . I think you have done enough. Has it not gone on for more than two years now? It is my opinion that it is better to reconcile enmities than ​to contract them. Since Ai-ku cannot get along with her husband and is not liked by her parents-in-law, it is best to do what I had suggested before: separate. But my prestige is not great enough and I have not been able to persuade you. Now His Honor Seven is a most just and understanding man, as you well know. Now His Honor also thinks the same, the same as I do. However, His Honor says that both sides should retreat a step. Let the Shihs pay ten dollars more, he says. That makes ninety dollars!"
As Chuang Mu-san said nothing, he continued: "Ninety dollars! You'll never get that much even if you take the case all the way up to the Emperor himself, and he an uncle of yours. But our honorable Seven is a generous man: no one else would offer you so much."
The honorable Seven fixed his eyes on Chuang Mu-san and nodded.
Ai-ku realized that the situation was getting critical. She was peeved at her father's silence, her father who ordinarily inspired no small degree of awe in the inhabitants along the seashore. She felt that his timidity was unnecessary. Though she did not understand much of what the honorable Seven said, yet she felt that he was to all appearances a gentle and kindly man and that there was nothing in him to be afraid of, as she had first imagined.
"Your Honor is a scholar and an understanding man, a most understanding man," she said, as she gathered courage. "Not like us country people. I have a grievance for which I have not been able to get redress and I want to tell it to Your Honor. Ever since I was married into their house I have always bowed my head in and bowed my head out, and I have never done anything lacking in propriety. But ​they all picked on me, every one of them! Year before last when a weasel killed a cock, did they not accuse me of not having securely fastened the chicken coop? Whereas it was that good for nothing mangy dog which pushed the door open to steal the feed! Without trying to find out which was white and which was black, the little beast there gave me a slap in the face . . . "
His Honor cast a look at her at this point.
"I knew why. There was a reason. It cannot escape Your Honor's all-seeing eyes, for Your Honor is a scholar and understanding man who sees everything. It was because he had been bewitched by that promiscuous whore and wanted to drive me out. But my marriage was contracted with the three teas and six gifts, and I was brought over in a regular bridal sedan! I am not so easy to get rid of. I swear I'll show them what I can do, I am not afraid of lawsuits. If I cannot get justice from the district, there is still the prefect . . . "
"His Honor knows all these things," His Honor Wei raised his head and added, "Ai-ku, let me tell you that you won't get much satisfaction if you will not listen to reason. You are always so wayward. See how understanding your father is, so unlike you and your brothers. Yes, you can appeal the case to the prefect, but do you suppose the prefect would fail to consult His Honor Seven about it? When it comes to that, everything will be done strictly according to law and then you . . . "
"Then I'll stake my life against them. I'll willingly die to bring ruin and death to them!"
"But it is not a question of staking your life against any one," His Honor Seven said slowly, at last. "You are still very young. You must learn that one should always try to ​be gentle, for 'Gentleness brings wealth.' That is something you'll never get by law. According to law, you'll have to go when your parents-in-law say 'Go!' Not only does this hold at the prefect's yamen, it is exactly the same in Shanghai, in Peking. It is the same even in foreign lands, as that young gentleman there who has just returned from a foreign school in Peking will tell you. If you don't believe it you can ask him yourself." Thereupon he turned to a young master with a pointed chin and said, "Am I not right?"
"It is exactly so," answered the young master with the pointed chin, drawing himself up reverently.
Ai-ku felt entirely alone. Her father would not say a word, her brothers had not even dared to come, His Honor Wei had always sided with them, the honorable Seven seemed doubtful, and the young master with the pointed chin did nothing but echo back what was expected of him. But in spite of her confusion and helplessness, she made a final effort. "How is it that even Your Honor . . . ," Her eyes were full of fear and despair as she went on. "Yes, I know that we are only simple people, we know nothing. I can only blame my father for his ignorance of the ways of the world. I'll let the old beast and the little beast do what they like with me; they know the ways of the world, they know how to crawl through dog holes and how to fawn upon people . . . "
"Please note, Your Honor," the "little beast" who had been standing in silence behind her, suddenly broke in, "please note that even before Your Honor she behaves like this. When she was at our house, truly she would not even let the six domestic beasts in peace. As Your Honor notices, she calls my father 'old beast' and me 'little beast,' or 'bastard' for variation."
​"Which son of a hundred-thousand-men whore ever called you a bastard?" Ai-ku turned around and protested loudly. Then turning to the honorable Seven again she continued, "There is something else that I want to say before everyone present. He never had a kind word for me. Whenever he opened his mouth, it was 'offspring of a cheap womb' by way of introduction, and 'your mother's this and that' by way of conclusion. Since he took up with that whore, he has even included my ancestors in his foul words. Judge for me. Your Honor, could any . . . "
At this point she stopped abruptly with a shudder, for His Honor suddenly turned up his eyes, threw back his round face, and at the same time released a loud echoing sound from underneath the moustache covering his mouth.
"Lai-a-a!" called His Honor.
Her heart stopped for a moment and then started pounding, for it seemed to her that all was over, that the situation had suddenly changed. She felt as if she had slipped and fallen into the water and she felt, moreover, that it was all her own fault.
At once a man wearing a blue robe and a black vest came in and stood like a wooden stick before His Honor, hands hanging stiffly at his sides. In the entire room "even birds stood still." His Honor's mouth moved but no one caught what he said. The man, however, had caught it. It was evidently an order, an order that seemed to have penetrated to his marrow, for he jerked his body a couple of times—one could almost see his hair standing on end—and answered simultaneously, "Yes."
​He walked backwards two or three steps and then turned and went out.
Ai-ku knew that something extraordinary was about to happen, something quite impossible to predict, something quite impossible to forestall. She realized, too, that His Honor was indeed august, that she had entirely misinterpreted his character and that she had been, therefore, entirely too impertinent and blunt. She regretted deeply and was constrained to say, "Of course I have been from the beginning only waiting for Your Honor's command . . . "
Although her voice was as light as gossamer, to His Honor Wei, however, it was, in the midst of the silence, like a clap of thunder. He jumped up.
"Now you are talking! His Honor Seven is most just and Ai-ku most understanding," he flattered. Then he turned to Chuang Mu-san, saying, "Old Mu, of course you'll have no objections since she herself has accepted the terms. I suppose you have brought your red and green papers, as I asked you to do. Then let us all bring the papers out . . . "
Ai-ku looked at her father and found him taking something out of his pocket. At the same time the wooden-sticklike man also came in and handed His Honor Seven a black, flat object that looked something like a small turtle. Ai-ku was afraid that the situation might again change and quickly turned to see what her father was doing. He had already opened up a blue cloth bag on the tea table and had taken out the silver dollars.
His Honor Seven now pulled off the head of the small turtle and poured something from the turtle's body into the palm of his hand. The sticklike man relieved him of the flat object. Then His Honor rubbed a finger of the other hand ​in his palm and held it up to his nose and sniffed, whereupon his nostrils and upper lips assumed the color of burned yellow. His nose wrinkled up as if he was about to sneeze.
Chuang Mu-san was now counting the money. His Honor Wei took part of the uncounted pile and handed it to the "old beast." He also exchanged their papers for them, giving back to each party their part of the marriage contract, saying, "Now take good care of them, both of you. And old Mu, be sure to count carefully, for money is no laughing matter."
"Ah-cheoooo!" Ai-ku knew from the noise that His Honor had just sneezed, yet she could not resist the urge to turn around. She saw that his mouth was open, his nose still wrinkled up. He was rubbing the side of his nose with an object which he held between two fingers of one hand: it was "something which the ancients inserted into the anus of the dead at encoffining time."
At last Chuang Mu-san finished counting his money. He put the marriage papers safely away. The tension was gone. Every one relaxed and an atmosphere of peace and harmony reigned in the room.
"Good! The thing is at last satisfactorily finished," His Honor Wei said, noticing that both sides showed a desire to take their leave. "And, er, there isn't anything else, is there? I congratulate you for having brought the thing to an end. Are you going? Don't go yet, wait until you have had a New Year cup with us: it is an occasion that comes only once a year."
"We won't have any now. Wait till next year," Ai-ku replied.
"Thank you. Your Honor. We won't have any now. We have business to attend to," said Chuang Mu-san, the "old ​beast," and the "little beast," together, as they withdrew respectfully.
"Oh, what? Not going to have any?" His Honor Wei said, looking at Ai-ku, the last one to go out.
"No, not this time. Thank you, Your Honor."
* ↑ May you become rich.
* ↑ Like a "V" but open at both ends.
* ↑ Read $3\times 6=18$. A common formula used partly for euphony and partly from habit.
* ↑ A banquet is often ordered and delivered to some one's house as a present.
* ↑ A dinner in European style is known as ta-ts'an or "great feast" and is considered the last word in luxury and fashion.
* ↑ "Come." Used by masters of many servants and affected by others who do not have so many to summon an attendant.