# The History of the Adventures of Joseph Andrews and his Friend, Mr. Abraham Abrams/Book III, Chapter XIII

CHAPTER XIII.
_A curious dialogue which passed between Mr Abraham Adams and Mr Peter
Pounce, better worth reading than all the works of Colley Cibber and
many others._
The chariot had not proceeded far before Mr Adams observed it was a very
fine day. "Ay, and a very fine country too," answered Pounce.--"I should
think so more," returned Adams, "if I had not lately travelled over the
Downs, which I take to exceed this and all other prospects in the
universe."--"A fig for prospects!" answered Pounce; "one acre here is
worth ten there; and for my own part, I have no delight in the prospect
of any land but my own."--"Sir," said Adams, "you can indulge yourself
with many fine prospects of that kind."--"I thank God I have a little,"
replied the other, "with which I am content, and envy no man: I have a
little, Mr Adams, with which I do as much good as I can." Adams
answered, "That riches without charity were nothing worth; for that they
were a blessing only to him who made them a blessing to others."--"You
and I," said Peter, "have different notions of charity. I own, as it is
generally used, I do not like the word, nor do I think it becomes one of
us gentlemen; it is a mean parson-like quality; though I would not infer
many parsons have it neither."--"Sir," said Adams, "my definition of
charity is, a generous disposition to relieve the distressed."--"There
is something in that definition," answered Peter, "which I like well
enough; it is, as you say, a disposition, and does not so much consist
in the act as in the disposition to do it. But, alas! Mr Adams, who are
meant by the distressed? Believe me, the distresses of mankind are
mostly imaginary, and it would be rather folly than goodness to relieve
them."--"Sure, sir," replied Adams, "hunger and thirst, cold and
nakedness, and other distresses which attend the poor, can never be said
to be imaginary evils."--"How can any man complain of hunger," said
Peter, "in a country where such excellent salads are to be gathered in
almost every field? or of thirst, where every river and stream produces
such delicious potations? And as for cold and nakedness, they are evils
introduced by luxury and custom. A man naturally wants clothes no more
than a horse or any other animal; and there are whole nations who go
without them; but these are things perhaps which you, who do not know
the world"--"You will pardon me, sir," returned Adams; "I have read of
the Gymnosophists."--"A plague of your Jehosaphats!" cried Peter; "the
greatest fault in our constitution is the provision made for the poor,
except that perhaps made for some others. Sir, I have not an estate
which doth not contribute almost as much again to the poor as to the
land-tax; and I do assure you I expect to come myself to the parish in
the end." To which Adams giving a dissenting smile, Peter thus
proceeded: "I fancy, Mr Adams, you are one of those who imagine I am a
lump of money; for there are many who, I fancy, believe that not only my
pockets, but my whole clothes, are lined with bank-bills; but I assure
you, you are all mistaken; I am not the man the world esteems me. If I
can hold my head above water it is all I can. I have injured myself by
purchasing. I have been too liberal of my money. Indeed, I fear my heir
will find my affairs in a worse situation than they are reputed to be.
Ah! he will have reason to wish I had loved money more and land less.
Pray, my good neighbour, where should I have that quantity of riches the
world is so liberal to bestow on me? Where could I possibly, without I
had stole it, acquire such a treasure?" "Why, truly," says Adams, "I
have been always of your opinion; I have wondered as well as yourself
with what confidence they could report such things of you, which have to
me appeared as mere impossibilities; for you know, sir, and I have often
heard you say it, that your wealth is of your own acquisition; and can
it be credible that in your short time you should have amassed such a
heap of treasure as these people will have you worth? Indeed, had you
inherited an estate like Sir Thomas Booby, which had descended in your
family for many generations, they might have had a colour for their
assertions." "Why, what do they say I am worth?" cries Peter, with a
malicious sneer. "Sir," answered Adams, "I have heard some aver you are
not worth less than twenty thousand pounds." At which Peter frowned.
"Nay, sir," said Adams, "you ask me only the opinion of others; for my
own part, I have always denied it, nor did I ever believe you could
possibly be worth half that sum." "However, Mr Adams," said he,
squeezing him by the hand, "I would not sell them all I am worth for
double that sum; and as to what you believe, or they believe, I care not
a fig, no not a fart. I am not poor because you think me so, nor because
you attempt to undervalue me in the country. I know the envy of mankind
very well; but I thank Heaven I am above them. It is true, my wealth is
of my own acquisition. I have not an estate, like Sir Thomas Booby, that
has descended in my family through many generations; but I know heirs of
such estates who are forced to travel about the country like some people
in torn cassocks, and might be glad to accept of a pitiful curacy for
what I know. Yes, sir, as shabby fellows as yourself, whom no man of my
figure, without that vice of good-nature about him, would suffer to ride
in a chariot with him." "Sir," said Adams, "I value not your chariot of
a rush; and if I had known you had intended to affront me, I would have
walked to the world's end on foot ere I would have accepted a place in
it. However, sir, I will soon rid you of that inconvenience;" and, so
saying, he opened the chariot door, without calling to the coachman, and
leapt out into the highway, forgetting to take his hat along with him;
which, however, Mr Pounce threw after him with great violence. Joseph
and Fanny stopt to bear him company the rest of the way, which was not
above a mile.