# Pictures of life in Mexico/Volume 1/Chapter 6

Contents
CHAPTER VI.
DOMESTIC MATTERS.
The domestic habits of the Mexicans, viewed in relation to the different classes of society, are decidedly coarse, selfish, and sensual. The female character is held in little respect by the greater portion of the community, and the tone of manners is repulsive and unpolished in consequence. The custom, so prevalent, of the men living and taking their meals in the better apartments, while their wives and daughters remain below, is, as well may be supposed, most detrimental to all parties: the men becoming gross among themselves, and the women sinking into a state of listless degradation. This ​custom, however, principally obtains in families of the middle class—if middle class there be: it does not prevail extensively in fashionable households; neither is it seen among the poor—for the satisfactory reason, that the one filthy floor of a dirty hut, generally serves at once for husband and wife, sons and daughters, chattels and animals.
Could the Mexicans be brought into habits of intercourse with other nations, immense advantages would accrue to them in every respect. But the geographical situation of the country is against them; it is separated from the United States by a sterile and savage region, while both mountains and seas, in other directions, conspire to isolate Mexico from other lands. These unfavourable circumstances would have little effect upon more energetic minds; but the semi-Spaniards yield at once to their position: they seem to think that their best protection lies in falling back upon their own indolence, and their truest wisdom in suspecting all the world beside. As is usually the case, the national character asserts itself, more or less, in individuals and in families.
Their almost incessant civil wars and rebellions, also, have had a most withering effect ​upon their progress in civilization, both national and domestic. The people of Mexico, in wrapping themselves round with jealous restrictions, and avoiding communication with other countries, have vented their spleen, from time to time, upon one another. But should a more liberal national disposition evidence itself in the country, and the light of knowledge and intelligence disperse the clouds of superstition and ignorance, those fruits of individual refinement and goodwill may be looked for, which only flourish in the genial atmosphere of domestic happiness and free institutions.
The females of Mexico are naturally kindhearted, sociable, hospitable, and sincere; there is no deficiency of feeling amongst them, for they are eminently impulsive: indeed, to this latter quality is owing much that is excellent, as well as much that is irregular, in Mexican society.
Mexican courtships are shorter, on the average, than in most other countries; though there is no lack of passionate devotion on the part of cavalier suitors: and in high life, the vapid gallantries and sentimental affectations between the sexes in public are absolutely disgusting. The ladies lose their sway, however, ​very soon after marriage; and, as a consequence, there are, I need scarcely say, many characteristic matrimonial arrangements, the details of which must not be inquired into very minutely.
There is a great deficiency of those simple and elegant social entertainments, which are so agreeable a medium of intercourse in more civilised countries. Unless a Mexican family are able to dazzle their neighbours by an extravagant display of plate and jewels, rich viands, and sumptuous decorations, they do not give parties at all; insomuch, that the unceremonious, intelligent, inexpensive reunions, so welcome elsewhere, may be sighed for in this country in vain. Genuine hospitality, of a hearty, unobtrusive kind, however, is not unfrequently to be met with—especially in the country districts; and it is seldom that the unperverted dispositions of the people are in fault in this respect.
A perfect rage for morning and mid-day drives and visits, manifests itself among the upper classes; and with many the principal part of the day is devoted to these excursions, and to the preparations they necessarily involve: great emulation and rivalry being ​exhibited in equipages, dresses, and ornaments.
It is strict etiquette for a respectable family, on taking-up their abode in the Mexican capital, to have cards printed announcing the fact, and representing their house as at the disposal of their friends. Until these cards are issued, visitors do not feel at liberty to call; and persons unaware of the custom, would be considered unpolite and unsociable, and treated accordingly. The following is the usual form of these apprisals:—
"Don Y. Z. (here follows the title), y su Esposa, Doña X. Y. Z —, participan á su Llegada a este Capital, y se afrecen á su disposición, en la calle de_____, No. ___."
"Don Y. Z, and his lady Doña X. Y. Z—, inform you of their arrival in this capital, and offer themselves to your service, in the street of____, No. —."
The manners of the Mexican gentry to their domestics are despotically overbearing and tyrannical. The servants of both sexes are usually selected from the despised castes of society—the poorer Mestizoes, Indians, and Zamboes; and they are consequently treated almost like born or purchased slaves. Cuffs ​and blows are frequently administered to them; the whip is always suspended, in terrorem, over their heads; and so passive are they under the yoke, that resistance, and even expostulation, is never thought of.
​The fondness for meddlesome gossip and scandal is unusually rife in Mexico; for the people are idle, and, therefore, very mischievous. Besides this, there is more food for scandal than could be the case in more enlightened nations,—priestly confessions and duplicity, references and intercommunications, having undermined all prudent reserve.
A story, that came to my knowledge in connection with an unfortunate and persecuted family, will serve to illustrate this habit.
One fine March morning, the good people residing in the street San Martin, of the town of Perote, were startled by the appearance of four mules, two abreast, and a group of strange figures, all advancing very quietly between the irregular rows of strong castellated little houses peculiar to the vicinity. The human portion of the procession consisted of eight persons,—a rather tall, well-looking man, the father of the family, by whose side walked the muleteer with whom he was talking; followed by a sprightly youth about seventeen, hand in hand with his sister, a blooming, handsome girl, a year younger; and a vagrant urchin not more than ten years old, very like his father, who was thwacking the ​mules ever and anon with a large stick. On one of the mules sat a well-attired female—the matron of the party; two young children were perched upon another, while the remaining two were loaded with sundry articles of domestic furniture, of good quality and condition.
These persons composed the family escort of honest Kuys de Bogota; a harmless individual, who was in the habit of tracing his descent—and not without reason—to a nearly pure Spanish stock. For some cause or other (I believe he had been an unsuccessful partner in an earthenware manufactory), he had removed from the city of Puebla, where he had long resided; and had determined to take up his future abode, with his family, in the small town of Perote—there to live in as retired a manner as possible.
Kuys de Bogota was a quiet and worthy man: his disposition was easy and unassuming to a fault; for it had permitted him to be so grossly imposed upon in his late business affairs, that his quondam partner—a bustling, unscrupulous little fellow—had monopolized to himself nearly the whole of the profits; and had finally sent him adrift into the world, ​without compensation of any kind. Honest Kuys and his family would thus have been in danger of suffering from actual want, were it not for a small interest in property possessed by the wife; upon which scanty provision they resolved to retire. In personal appearance the good man was comparatively fair, florid, and well-conditioned; although, since the disastrous reverse in his circumstances, he had become rather more careless than usual in the particular of dress.
The Señora, his wife, was also a very exemplary individual: she had been a dutiful helpmate to poor Kuys; atoning as far as in her lay for his deficiencies and ever making the best of things. She had had no power, however, to prevent the final catastrophe in her husband's fortunes; and the affair had, upon the whole, the effect of disgusting her with the world, and of reconciling her to a life of seclusion with her family: but she was the gentlest of misanthropes, and much beloved by her husband and children.
Their olive branches had, as yet, given them but little occasion for uneasiness. The eldest son, Rual, was lively, good-hearted, and intelligent; and had hitherto assisted his father ​in the business. Clara, the daughter, was both pretty and modest; and though she had had, at least, three tolerable "offers" of marriage already, she had not at present thought fit to accept one of them. Little Mig, or Miguel—the young scapegrace just now discovered thrashing the mules—was certainly the most rampant of the family, and had given his estimable parents some trouble. The two youngest children were merely sweet tempered and interesting.
On their safe arrival at Perote, they selected one of the most prison-looking of the gloomy little habitations at the north end of the street; the only entrance to which was through a buttressed court-yard; and whose only ornaments were some dead plants in adobé pots and boxes, on a bench beneath one of the gable ends of the house. This residence looked so completely secluded, that, when you were once in, you would fancy you required the assistance of a gaoler to let you out again; but in this particular it harmonised with the feelings of the now stricken beings who sought its shelter.
Never was speculation more lively, nor curiosity more excited, among the gossips of ​the vicinity, than on the arrival of this family. "Who were they? Where did they come from? How many of them were there? What furniture had they? What were their circumstances? What was their reason for leaving their last abode? What was the cause of their selecting such a residence as that? How old were they? Was the young man their son, or was he the daughter's husband? Had any children lived and died between the ages of the daughter and the active little boy? And—were the two youngest of the family twins or no?" Such were the inquiries and surmises industriously set afloat among the considerate neighbours; and the less able they were to satisfy themselves on these topics, the more was their curiosity whetted and excited.
Had the de Bogotas been in absolute poverty and distress, few questions and little interest would have been produced on their behalf; but as the case stood, there was something rather "respectable" and superior about them which made it all very interesting. A little tailor over the way, and a female tortilla cake baker, who lived in his court-yard, were both thrown into a perfect fever of conjecture ​by the affair; and unless something came of it soon, they appeared likely to set aside their avocations entirely in consequence.
Now this, of all others, was the time for the new-comers to ingratiate themselves with their curious fellow-townsmen. Had they been prudent people, they would have hastened to satisfy the general curiosity; and enabled each gossip to tell his or her fellow-gossip the whole truth, and more. Not being prudent people, however, they let the opportunity pass by; and very soon the current of public opinion set against them. The little tailor and tortilla-baker, as well as several other estimable tradesmen and house-dwellers, waited upon the family on numerous occasions, and were most considerate in making due inquiries; but the Bogotas—resolving to abide by their determination of living retired—evaded such kind advances, and steadily resisted all neighbourly investigations. To this obstinacy, then, was attributable all the misfortunes which afterwards saddened the existence of this fated family.
For a while, they lived on in quiet unconcern respecting their future fate; the gossips only waiting for some slight pretext to originate all ​manner of malicious reports to the disadvantage of their new neighbours. An opportunity of forging the first link of a desolating chain of slander was not long-wanting.
It was noticed that the family very seldom attended mass in any of the churches during the week. It is true that on the Sunday they proceeded thither quite regularly, as in duty bound—but this was not sufficient. The lady of the house, too, did not resort so frequently to the confessional as a good Catholic should; and when the priest took occasion to visit the family, he was received respectfully, but not with that warmth of adulation and reverence which on such occasions ought to be evinced. This was more especially the case when the goodman of the house was absent.
Here, then, was a discovery. The Señora Kuys de Bogota was irreligious! Whisperings of examination, and inquiries, and heresy, were immediately circulated; and it was considered that something serious ought to be done with such people, were it only for the sake of example. Disrespect in the particular named, was quite unintentional on the part of the lady and her family—but that did not matter: she was decidedly irreligious! ​Honest Kuys himself was very much in the habit of wrapping himself snugly in his serapé and taking solitary walks to brood over his past misfortunes—especially in the evening. One night he was returning from one of these rambles rather later than usual, with his sombrero drawn moodily over his eyes, and his figure encased closely in his blanket—when he was perceived, beside his own door, by the little tailor opposite. The tailor, noticing his cloudy aspect and slouched hat, took occasion to remark to the tortilla baker, who was with him at the time, that Kuys de Bogota looked very like a ladrone. This was sufficient: the report was spread by the tortilla-baker and a select circle of friends, that their neighbour was a ladrone; and before noon of the following day it was universally accredited, that honest Kuys was the captain of a band of desperate ladrones then infesting the vicinity.
This, then, was a second discovery! And the worthy residents began to applaud themselves, forthwith, for their sagacity.
On another occasion, also, the daughter was observed to loiter in the public walk after sunset, leaning on the arm of a smartly dressed cavalier, with whom she was laughing and ​talking in the most unrestrained manner, and who actually lifted her mantilla in jest, and allowed it to flutter in the breeze. The benevolent beholders did not take the trouble to notice that the young cavalier with whom she was on such familiar terms, was her own brother,—that was quite beside the question. The young lady was accordingly set down at once to be an abandoned profligate!
This was a sweeter morsel than all the rest; and the neighbours really entertained hopes now, of making something of the family!
Young Mig, or Miguel, and his elder brother were the victims next to be sacrificed; for they had the audacity to go and meet their father, more than once, as he returned from his evening walk, and to enter their home in his ungodly company. These proceedings, of course, made them sharers in the desperate profession of their parent. Yes! they were young thieves both: it was with them, like father like sons; and there could be little doubt of their being pretty nearly as bad as he!
A well-wishing friend one day hovered round the entrance of the court-yard, to observe the two youngest children at their play. The ​urchins—as such little creatures will—had built up a small mound of rubbish on the ground and were belabouring each other vigorously therewith: at length one of them so beplastered the shoulders of the other, that he cried out loudly, as if in pain. This was enough for the well-wishing" friend. He straightway informed all his acquaintances, in confidence, that the young children of the de Bogotas were wretchedly filthy and diseased!
Here was a state of things! The Señora de Bogota was an irreligious heretic! Kuys de Bogota himself was the captain of a band of robbers! His two sons Rual and Miguel were juvenile thieves! The young; children were disgustingly filthy and diseased! And the pretty daughter Clara was an abandoned profligate!
Before many days had elapsed, two priests and an assistant, presented themselves at the door of the little dwelling in question, and demanded admittance, stating that their business was most urgent. They had not come on their usual mission of comfort to their flock, they said, when they were seated in the midst of the family up-stairs; but to acquaint them ​with the manifold accusations in the mouths of everybody against them; and to inquire if Kuys de Bogota had anything to say in defence or extenuation. They then—to the horror of every member of the unsuspecting household—unfolded the charges with which the reader is acquainted, at length; subjoining a number of infamous circumstances which had been detailed to them, and which, it is scarcely necessary to add, were neighbourly fabrications. Poor Kuys, astounded at such a communication could find no words to reply; and, amidst the tears and lamentations of his wife and children, he was ordered away—as the head of the family—in the custody of the attendant.