# Wired Love/Chapter 15

A novel published in 1880 by W. F. Johnston in New York.
Layout 2
CHAPTER XV.
ONE SUMMER DAY.
HE week that decided Quimby's fate so unexpectedly and brought him so much woe, to Cyn brought good tidings. Her success at the concert had been so decided that she ​was the recipient of many offers for the coming season, and was enabled to accept those that promised most advantageously. No one was more honestly glad than was Nattie in her congratulations; Nattie, who had fought and overcome that selfish pain and bitter wonder of hers, why Cyn should have everything and she nothing.
Since the approach of summer, a much-talked of project among them had been a little picnic party in the woods, and as Clem now proposed to get it up in honor of Cyn's success, the plan was immediately carried out. Mrs. Simonson, with a feeble protest, because Miss Kling was not invited, accompanied them. The "them," of course, consisted of Cyn, Nattie, Clem, Jo, and the newly betrothed ones.
Nature was kind to these seekers of her solitudes, and gave them a perfect day; one of those that occur in our uncertain climate less often than might be wished, but that penetrate everywhere with their sunshine, when they do come, even into hearts where sunshine seldom glances. So, for the nonce, our friends forgot all their little troubles; even Quimby brightening up, and ceasing to think of his engagement, as they stood underneath the green trees, by the banks of a small river; sunshine everywhere, and the music of birds in the air.
​"Is it not glorious?" cried Cyn, like a child, in her exuberance.
"Why not camp out here, and stay all summer?" ecstatically suggested Clem, as he fondled his fishing tackle.
"But it might not always be pleasant like this," said practical Mrs. Simonson.
"When the sun shines we forget it may ever storm," said Jo, and looking admiringly at Cyn as he spoke.
"Is our artist a philosopher, as well as all the rest we know he is?" asked Cyn, laughing.
"A very little one; five feet six!" replied Jo.
"Well, we will have no shadows to-day," said Cyn.
"No shadows to-day!" echoed Jo; then turning to Mrs. Simonson, asked, "I hope you do not still regret Miss Kling!"
"I suppose she would spoil it all!" that good lady committed herself enough to say.
"Well, really, I must say," remarked Celeste, who now gave herself many airs, and evidently looked upon Cyn and Nattie as commonplace creatures, not engaged!—"I must say, now that you are speaking of her, that she does Kling in a way that is not pleasant sometimes. She actually annoys pa!"
​"I thought she entertained a high regard for The Tor—for your father," said mischievous Cyn.
"That is exactly it!" replied Celeste. "Too high a regard! Truly, she behaves very ridiculously! Why, she positively waylays pa! so indelicate in a woman, you know!" with sublime unconsciousness of ever having indulged in the pastime of waylaying herself! "Such an old creature, too! she is always coming and wanting to mend his old clothes and stockings! Poor pa actually has to lock himself in his room sometimes!"
The vision of "poor pa" thus pursued was too much for the gravity of the company, and there was a general laugh.
"It is true," asserted Celeste. "Now, isn't it, Ralfy?" appealing to her betrothed with appropriate bashfulness.
Everybody stared at this. No one before ever really knew that Quimby possessed a front door to his name, and he, as surprised as any one at the cognomen Love had discovered, fell back on a rolling log, and clutched his legs to that extent that they must have been black and blue for a week afterwards.
Clem saved the discomfited "Ralfy" the necessity of replying, by interposing with,
"Come! come! let us not talk on such ​incongruous subjects this lovely day! let us rather talk sentiment!" and he gave a prodigious wink in Jo's direction.
"I fear we are not a very sentimental party!" laughed Cyn; adding mischievously, "except, of course, Quimby and Celeste!"
"Oh! I—I am not, I assure you! I am not in the least, you know!" protested Quimby, taking a roll on the log; "never felt less so in my life."
"Why, Ralfy!" exclaimed Celeste, reproachfully, and to his distress went up close to him, and would have sat down by his side, but for the uncontrollable rolling propensity of that log, which made it impossible.
"How is it with you, Jo?" queried Cyn; "can you not for once, forget your horrible hobby, and be a little sentimental, in honor of the day?"
Jo, who was throwing sticks into the water, to the great disturbance of the bugs, and plainly-shown annoyance of a big frog, made a somewhat surprising reply. Decidedly seriously, he said,
"I fear if I should attempt it, I might get too much in earnest!"
"Oh! we will risk that, so please begin!" said Cyn, but staring at him a little as she spoke. "Jo, sentimental! Just imagine it!"
"Will you risk it?" he asked, still seriously, and ​with so peculiar an expression that she could reply only by another astonished stare.
"But really, it does not pay to be sentimental, as you all ought to have found out long ago! as Jo and I have!" Nattie said, jestingly, yet with an undertone of earnestness.
"Then," said Clem, dryly, "since it is so with us, let us fish!" and he threw his line into the stream.
Cyn, Jo, and Mrs. Simonson followed his example. Quimby declined joining in the sport, and perhaps, likening himself to the fish, balanced himself on the log, and looked on with a pathetic face. Celeste, as in duty bound, remained by his side. Nattie, too, was an observer only, and from the expression off her face was decidedly not amused.
"I think it is cruel!" she exclaimed, as Jo took a fish off Cyn's hook.
"I—I quite agree with you!" Quimby replied quickly, in answer to Nattie's observation. "It is cruel!"
"But perhaps the fish were made for people to catch," suggested the pacific Mrs. Simonson, who had not yet been able to get a bite.
"Yes," acquiesced Clem, pulling up a skinny little fish. "They are no worse off than we poor mortals after all. We must each fulfill our destiny, whether man or fish."
​"Yes! it is all fate!" exclaimed Quimby vehemently. "We cannot help ourselves!"
"You believe in fate then? I don't think I do!" said Cyn, with a glance half-humorous, half-pitying, at its victim on the log; "what incentive would we have to any effort, if we were sure everything was marked out for us in advance?"
"That is a question requiring too much effort for us to discuss on a warm day," said Nattie.
"Certain circumstances must bring about certain results, you will acknowledge," Clem gravely remarked.
"But, it is said that every soul that is born has a twin somewhere; and if so, that must be fate!" said Mrs. Simonson.
"Miss Kling's theory, I believe!" laughed Nattie.
"If it is so, the right ones don't often come together," said Quimby gloomily.
"We are an exception, then, to the general rule!" simpered Celeste.
Quimby groaned, and then murmured something about the toothache.
"Poor fellow!" said Cyn, in a low voice, to Nattie.
"After all, there is something in fate," Nattie sighed.
​"Perhaps so," she said.
"Well, we will not get solemn over fate," said Jo, cheerily; then, in a lower voice, as he glanced at Cyn, he added—"yet."
"And do not frighten away what few fish there are here, with your theories," commanded Clem.
Although this mandate was obeyed, and for a time silence reigned, it was not long before they were all singing a gay song, started by Clem himself, even Quimby joining in the chorus with a feeble tenor. But they were tired of fishing by that time, and began to feel as if a little refreshment would not be out of place, and would indeed enhance the loveliness of Nature, so a fire was made, and lunch-baskets unpacked.
"It will take a good many of those fish for a mouthful," declared Clem, who was cook.
"You may have my share, I can't eat creatures I have seen squirm," said Nattie.
"Ah, you fastidious young woman! what shall I ever do with you, if you are cast away on a desert island with me?" exclaimed Clem, in mock despair.
"Set up a telegraph wire, and then she would need nothing more," insinuated Cyn.
"And get snubbed for my pains!" muttered Clem, sotto voce. But Nattie caught the words, and an expression of distress passed over her face.
​"This reminds me of that feast!" Cyn declared, as they seated themselves wherever convenient, with a dish of whatever was handy.
"Only more so," added Clem.
"What feast?" asked Celeste, curiously.
"One we had once," Cyn replied evasively, glad there was something Celeste did not know about. In fact, in the matter of curiosity, Celeste was an embryo Miss Kling.
"I am sorry we have no Charlotte Russes to-day, Quimby," remarked Clem, with an expression of transparent innocence.
Quimby could only reply with a groan. The recollections awakened were too much.
"What is the matter now, Ralfy?" asked the loving Celeste.
Again Quimby muttered something about "that tooth."
"Oh!" said Celeste, tenderly, "you really must have it out, Ralfy!"
The possibility of being obliged to part with a sound tooth in self-defense, restored him for the time being. But he was not the only one to whom the retrospect brought a momentary pain. Nattie sighed as she looked back to the day that had brought Clem, but not restored as she then supposed, but taken away, her "C."
​"The salubrious air and the invigorating odor of the forest adds immeasurably to the natural capacity of the appetite!" commented Jo, gravely, as he passed his plate for the seventh fish.
"Ah!" sighed Celeste, who prided herself on her delicacy, "I never could eat more than would satisfy a mouse, and since my engagement," simpering, "I cannot swallow enough to scarce keep me alive!"
Quimby looked up eagerly.
"I—I beg pardon, but if the—if the engagement weighs upon you, I—I am willing to release you, you know!" he exclaimed, hopefully.
"You jealous creature!" replied Celeste, archly. "You know, Ralfy, that no consideration could make me release you!"
Quimby knew it only too well, and sighed as he picked a chicken bone.
"A great objection to dining in the woods is that one is apt to find his food unexpectedly seasoned!" said Clem, as he captured a six-legged bug of an adventurous spirit, that had sought to investigate the contents of his plate.
"Isn't it strange that bugs don't seem half so bad in our food here as they would at home!" said Mrs. Simonson.
"Oh! we can get used to anything, if we only ​think so!" said Cyn, bringing her cheery philosophy to the front.
"Yes!" assented Quimby, mournfully, "I—I am used to it, you know!"
Cyn laughed, and then proposed the health of the betrothed pair, which was drank in lager beer, and to which Quimby, bolstered up by Celeste, attempted to respond, but collapsed in the middle of the third sentence, and with the words,
"Thank you! and I—I am used to it, you know!" sat down, wiped his forehead on his napkin, and looked intensely miserable.
After that they toasted Cyn, and then "Dots and Dashes," and last, Jo with mock solemnity proposed "Fate."
And just then Quimby met with a fresh mishap, and came near ending his sufferings in a watery grave, only the water did not happen to be quite deep enough. Arising from the sharp-pointed rock that had served him for a pivot on which to eat his dinner, he stumbled, fell and rolled over and over down the bank, and into the river, with a tremendous splash.
Every one jumped up in consternation.
"Oh, Clem! Jo!" shrieked Celeste, wringing her hands, and rushing down to the water's edge. "Save him! Save my darling Ralfy!"
​"Ralfy," however, was equal to saving his own life this time. The water was only up to his waist, and he had already picked himself up and was wading ashore.
"I—I am all right!" he said looking up at his anxious friends with a reassuring smile. "I—I am used to it, you know!"
As Clem assisted him up the bank, the thought came into Cyn's head, why would it not be a good idea to push Nat—accidentally—into the river, so Clem might rescue her, and thus bring about that much to be desired crisis? But remembering that water would run the colors of her dress, and farther, how dreadfully unbecoming it was to be wet—a fact fully demonstrated by the present appearance of Quimby—Cyn rejected the idea as not exactly feasible.
They left Quimby drying on a sunny bank, with Celeste as guardian angel, love, and the remains of the repast to cheer her, and the consciousness that his clothes were shrinking on him as they dried, to divert him, and wandered off through the woods, and over the hills, gathering on the way so many flowers and green things, that Cyn declared they looked like Birnam Wood coming to Dunsinane.
At first they were all together, then straggled apart; Mrs. Simonson being the first dereliction, as
​she was not quite equal to climbing as fast as the young people. Thus it came about that Nattie found herself alone with Clem, and suddenly stopping, with some embarrassment, but steadily, said,
"There is something I wish to say to you. You have spoken several times of late about my 'snubbing' you. I want to say, I have not intentionally done so; that I have the same—the same friendship for you as always, and that I wish you every happiness. What may have appeared to you as strange or cold in my conduct of late, is due to secrets of my own."
Clem look at her scrutinizingly, as she spoke, and the flowers he had gathered fell unheeded from his hands.
"It has never been my wish that any coldness should come between us; you know that, Nattie," he replied earnestly. "From our first acquaintance, the old acquaintance over the wire, you have held the same place in my heart!"
"The place next to Cyn!" was Nattie's involuntary bitter thought, but she instantly stifled the feeling, and answered,
"Thank you, Clem; and I hope we may always be the same friends."
At this Clem took an impetuous step towards her, and would have said—who can. tell what?—had ​not at the same moment Mrs. Simonson, very much out of breath, come up with them. Nattie was not sorry. She had wished to say to him what she had, that he might not think her changed manner of late had been caused by any feeling of dislike, and might understand she wished him success with Cyn. But she had no desire to prolong the interview, and, gladly walked on by the side of the puffing Mrs. Simonson.
Clem, however, looked displeased, and followed with a thoughtful face; so thoughtful that Mrs. Simonson noticed and wondered at his preoccupation.
Meanwhile, Cyn, with Jo, were far in advance, and had turned into a by-path that led toward a slight rising, sauntering on, Cyn talking merrily, Jo unusually quiet, until suddenly stopping, she exclaimed,
"Dear me! we have lost sight of every one! Had we not better return?"
"No! I do not want to!" answered Jo, bluntly.
"Do you not? As you say, only we must not lose them. Possibly they may stroll this way; shall we sit down?" and without waiting for a response Cyn seated herself on a big rock by the side of the pathway.
Although Jo was not romantic, he had an artist's eye, and could not but note the beauty of the scene ​before him, a scene he did not need to reproduce on canvas to remember ever after;—the mountains in the background, the narrow path sloping down from the near hill to where, on the gray and moss-covered rock, Cyn sat, her dark eyes mellow with the summer sunshine, and the cherry ribbons of her hat giving the requisite touch of color to make the picture perfect.
For a moment he stood in silent admiration, then, taking off his hat, and smoothing down his shaven locks, he said,
"To tell the truth, Cyn, I do hope they will not stroll this way. They are around altogether too much. I never can have a quiet talk with you!"
"I declare, I believe in addition to your being unsentimental, and all that, you are becoming a confirmed grumbler!" exclaimed Cyn, as she caught one of the boughs of the tree overhead and turned a merrily-protesting face towards him.
Jo looked at her, and a queer expression came over his face.
"Am I?" he said, slowly. "Well—would you like to see me sentimental? Would you like to see me make a fool of myself?"
"Nothing would give me greater pleasure! cried Cyn.
"Then," exclaimed Jo, planting himself directly ​in front of her, "here goes! now I am going to astonish you very much, Cyn!"
"Very well! I am all impatience! Go on!"
"But it is no joke!" he replied, in protest to her laughing face. "If I am to make a fool of myself I am going to do it in dead earnest!"
"That is the way, of course," responded Cyn, but beginning to look a little surprised.
For Jo seemed very much excited, and his manner indicated anything but a jest. Extraordinary creature, that Jo! His next proceeding was even more strange; that was to ask the apparently irrelevant question,
"Do you remember what we were all saying a short time ago, about Fate?"
"Certainly; but are you going to favor me with a dissertation on Fate, instead of making a fool of yourself?"
"No!" was the solemn reply, "have a little patience, Cyn. The fact is, you are my Fate—there is no mistake about it!—and must be either cruel or kind, and there's no alternative!"
Cyn's surprise increased visibly.
"I am sure, I do not understand you at all! how queer you are to-day, Jo!"
"Of course I am queer! when a man throws his theories and hobbies to the winds, and confesses ​himself conquered, he is apt to be queer, is he not? Can you not understand, that I, Jo Norton, who have always scoffed at sentiment, and proudly declared myself incapable of being the victim of love, am ready—yes, and longing!—to make as big a fool of myself as the veriest spooniest youth in existence, and all for love of you, Cyn?"
To this exceedingly novel declaration of love, Cyn responded by releasing the bough she held, and staring at him with distended eyes and a perfectly blank face; for once in her life, speechless.
"I told you I was going to astonish you," said Jo, quaintly, in answer to her prolonged stare, "and I do not wonder that you cannot believe I really love you! I did not myself, for a long time, and I would not after I knew it! But it is a fact. No joke—no mistake, but a sober, serious fact! I love you, love you, love you!"
Jo's voice grew very fervent, as he uttered these last words, and was in such striking contrast to his ordinary manner, that Cyn could but see that this was indeed, "no joke."
"You—you love—and love me!" she gasped.
"Yes, I could not help it! I have only known it within a few days, but I think I have loved you ever since we first met, only those confounded theories of mine blinded me."
​"Well—but what are you going to do about it?" questioned Cyn, unable yet to recover from her bewilderment
Jo looked at her, wistfully.
"I know I am homely, Cyn, and I am poor; I have nothing to offer you but an honest, loving and true heart. I suppose a man who is in love is naturally unreasonable—I never was in love before, you know—but an extravagant hope will whisper to me, that even this little might not be unappreciated by you."
And as he spoke, Jo's face was so transfigured that it could no longer be called plain. Cyn gazed at him in wonder, and recovering partly from her first surprise, an unusual seriousness came over her own handsome face, as she answered earnestly,
"It is not unappreciated! oh, no, Jo! Nothing to offer me but an honest, loving and true heart, you say? why, that is everything!"
"Then will you accept it? May I try and win your love?" he asked eagerly, advancing close to her. "I will work very hard to make myself worthy of it, and to win a name you need not be ashamed to bear. I lay myself, my life at your feet, Cyn."
"And this is unsentimental Jo!" Cyn exclaimed involuntarily.
"This is unsentimental Jo," he answered, in all ​humility. "Do with him what you will; he is all yours."
Into Cyn's expressive eyes came some deeply-stirred emotion.
"I am so sorry;" she said, sadly, "so very, very sorry! what shall I say? what shall I do? I like you so much as a friend! But what you ask, Jo, could never be!"
The sun sank behind the distant hills, and a shadow, such as had fallen over the woods behind them, settled on Jo's face.
"The idea is new to you. At least, think it over. Do not leave me without a little hope," he entreated.
"Jo, I wish—yes! I do wish that I could love you as you deserve to be loved," said Cyn, earnestly. "But it cannot be! it never could be! Do not deceive yourself with false hopes. Friends always, Jo, but lovers never!"
"Ah!" exclaimed Jo, bitterly, unable to restrain his jealousy, "it is Clem who stands between us!"
"Clem who stands between us!" echoed Cyn, astounded for the second time that day.
"There—now I have lowered myself in your estimation; I am but a blundering fool, Cyn. You see I am selfish in my love; and I have not yet become sentimental enough to be willing to see another fellow win what is all the world to me!"
​Cyn's face grew red as was the sky when the sun had gone down.
"Do you mean to insinuate that I am in love with Clem?" she asked, angrily.
"I would not insinuate it for all the world, if you are not," was Jo's eager reply; "I am not experienced in love matters, but I am quite sure he loves you—and he is very handsome," he added ruefully.
"What a dreadful combination of circumstances!" cried Cyn, distractedly. "But, pshaw! It's impossible!"
"Impossible? No, indeed! Why, it was by being so jealous of him that I first awoke to the fact that I was in love with you myself. Besides, every one has noticed his fondness for you."
"They have?" vehemently, and smiting the rock where she sat with her hand, as she spoke. "But this is truly awful!"
"Then you do not care for him?" questioned Jo, joyfully.
"Care for him?" repeated Cyn, irritably. "Of course I care for him! Is it not my pet scheme that he should marry Nattie? Certainly it is, and has been from the first! And now, if he has gone and fallen in love with me a nice predicament we will all be in. But you must be mistaken! I ​cannot believe him capable of such a thing! The only reason I have to fear it is that I would not have credited it of you yesterday!"
"But you see I do love you. You believe I do, do you not, Cyn?" asked Jo, too eager to press his own suit to give much thought to Nattie and Clem. "Why will you not try and love me, as you do not love Clem ? Am I so homely as to be repulsive to you?"
"Homely? Nonsense!" replied Cyn, momentarily putting aside her newest anxiety for the previous one, "now I come to think of it, I had rather marry you than any man I know!"
"Would you? Would you really?" seizing her hand hopefully. "Then why will you not?"
Cyn allowed her hand to remain in his as she said slowly and impressively,
"I cannot marry. That is entirely out of the question for me. Of my life, love can form no part!"
"But I thought you believed in love?" said Jo, looking perplexed, but clinging to her hand as a sort of anchor.
"I do. I believe it is the best happiness of life. But it cannot be for me. Why, I will tell you. I owe this much in return for what you have given me; what I prize even though I am compelled to ​refuse it. What stands between us is the memory of a love—gone forever."
"What!" exclaimed Jo, astounded in his turn. "You do not mean to say that you—that you—you, the gayest of the gay—that you—" Jo stopped, unable to proceed.
"You hardly expected to find me in the role of the victim of a broken heart, did you?" questioned Cyn, with a half-sad, half-humorous smile. "I admit I do not exactly answer to the average description, and my heart is not broken—there is only a blank in it—something dead that can never live again. Once I loved a man with all my heart"—Jo sighed—"with all the illusion of youth, and he loved me. The difference between his love and mine was, that mine was forever, and his was for a day."
"Impossible!" interrupted Jo. "No man who once loved you could ever change."
"He happened to be one of the kind who could. I never really knew the cause—it might have been another woman. You know there always is another woman."
"Or another man," added Jo gloomily.
"Yes," assented Cyn, and continued. "He was one of the kind, I think now, who are incapable of appreciating a woman's love, and consequently ​unworthy of it. But unfortunately, I did not know this, and wasted mine on him. So he and love, went out of my life forever. But," with a proud raising of her head, "I would not be weak enough to allow all my life to be ruined because one part of it was wrecked; with so much gone, there still remained something, and of that I made the most. This is why my art is everything to me, and why I cannot marry you."
"But it seems to me unreasonable, that because you loved one man who was unworthy, you should refuse the love of another who would try very hard to make you forget that first sad experience," argued Jo. "Give me what you have left, Cyn! If it be but dead ashes, I will thank God for the gift, and perhaps, at some future day, in response to my devotion, even from those ashes shall arise another love, so strong, so intense, that, in comparison, the old shall be but as some half-forgotten trouble of childhood, whose remembrance cannot awaken even a passing pain."
The fervor of an honest affection made Jo truly eloquent, and his true blue eyes met the dark ones of Cyn, glowing with earnestness and love, and for a moment she looked at him and hesitated. Then she arose, saying resolutely,
"No! Jo! no! Do not tempt me! The ​experiment would be too dangerous! To give you a warmed-over affection in return for your whole heart, would only be misery for us both—more misery than I am bringing to you now. I respect and esteem you, as I said before—we will be friends—comrades—always—no more!"
As she spoke, she extended her hand to him, in farewell to all his hopes.
And so understanding he clasped it, a sadness on his face she had never seen there before.
"As you will, Cyn," he replied, brokenly, "but I shall love you—forever!"
As he spoke, from below came the cry,
"Cyn! Jo! where are you? we are going!"
"Coming!" Cyn's clear voice answered back.
"One moment," Jo said, detaining her, "may I—may I kiss you once, Cyn? Once, and for the last time?"
There were tears in Cyn's eyes. She bent her handsome head, their lips met, then, without a word, they went on together to join those who awaited them.
And it was thus Fate decreed for these two.
Love brings the most intense sorrows, the keenest joys of life. But there must always be some lives, into which comes only the sadness, and none of the bliss, of loving.