# The Pastor in his Closet/Friday

Oxford: James Parker and Co., pages 58–65
FRIDAY.
Let my first thoughts this day, most holy Jesus, be of Thy Passion. When I wake up, before all things let me remember Thy Cross, that bitter tree of Thy death, that sweet tree of our life, the place of Thy shame and of our hope, where Thou wast delivered to death, and we freed from death, where Thou didst die, and whence we did begin to live, whereon Thou didst suffer, and wherein we glory.
Blessed be Thou, our Saviour, for Thy great love that brought Thee to so great suffering. Thanks be to Thee that Thou didst not send for Thy legions of angels to deliver Thee, and that Thou didst not come down from the Cross, but didst remain to deliver us, and to finish the mystery of the sacrifice of Thyself. Thanks be to Thee that Thou didst not put that cup from Thee, but didst drink it, even to its most bitter dregs; for no sorrow was like unto Thy sorrow, no shame like unto Thy shame, no death like unto Thy death, who didst descend from the fulness of the glory of Thy Father.
​It was as on this day that Thou didst suffer; this is the day of the Cross. Every week may I set apart this day for the memorial of the mystery of Thy Passion. Teach me to meditate on Thine agony, Thy bloody sweat, the shame and spitting, the violence of the people, the unjust sentence, the carrying of Thine own Cross, the sharp crown, Thy great thirst. Thy distress of spirit, Thy pain of body, Thy wonderful meekness, Thy words on the Cross, Thy last prayer, the bowing of Thy head, the giving up of the ghost, the piercing of the spear, the blood and water poured out of the fountain of Thy side.
O wonderful love that Thou shouldest have consented to die! wonderful patience and gentleness that Thou shouldest have so borne death, and such a death! great mystery of sin that required so great a sacrifice! Truly Thou art the Son of God, Thou art our Saviour, “the Hope of all the ends of the earth,” “the Desire of all nations.” Blessed be Thy name above every name, among angels and archangels and men upon earth, for the overflowings of Thy immeasurable love. “There is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.”
May my meditations upon Thy Cross stir up ​my love towards Thee, that I may more entirely love Thee and serve Thee all the days of my life. How should I be ready to bestow myself upon Thee, who hast bestowed Thy life for me a sinner! And yet what can I do for Thee, without whom I can do nothing? What can I give unto Thee, whose I am, and whose are all things? How can I repay Thee for Thy love, who hast bought me with a price, for I am not mine own? I can but pray for Thy mercy, and strive to please Thee, and earnestly preach Thy Cross; I can but offer Thee myself, which is Thine already, nothing worth when it is offered, a mite indeed, and yet my all. I would serve Thee, most blessed Jesus, with all my soul.
And shall not I serve Thee by taking up my cross after Thee? While I this day meditate upon Thy Cross, should I not meditate upon my own wearing of the cross, which is my service? Thou hast charged Thy disciples that they should wear their cross. “If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.”
Herein dost Thou call me to follow Thee in the narrow way of daily self-denial. To please Thee I must learn to unlearn the love of my own will, to sacrifice self, my own tastes, inclinations, ​humours, pleasures, appetites. I must seek to mortify my heart, to mortify my flesh also, that I may “walk after the Spirit” and be under the dominion of the spiritual mind.
How could I preach mortification, self-denial, deadness to the world, unless I have myself experience of the Cross. Thy servant John Baptist was one of a mortified life when he preached repentance, that his life also might preach his doctrine. Ought I not then to take up my cross, if I would effectually preach the Cross?
And how shall I wear this yoke? even in fasting—in almsgiving—in labouring among my people—in simplicity and plainness of living.
Teach me. Lord, on the days of abstinence appointed by the Church to begin to fast, for Thou hast commanded fasting. “The days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then shall they fast.” These are Thy own words, fulfilled by the Apostles and all saints of old. Alas! I scarcely know how to fast; I shrink from this cross; I behold so few fasting that I excuse myself through the general neglect, or soften the interpretation of Thy words. I desire to amend, to practise abstinence in things allowed, that from things not allowed I may the more easily abstain, that I may have a more ​docile and obedient will, that in great matters I may the more easily resist the motions of the flesh.
As, according to the liberty of the Gospel, Thou hast not commanded us, Lord, in the particulars of our fasts, teach me to choose such modes and degrees of abstinence as may best serve to godliness and the subjection of self. As I now fall short in this duty, so keep me from all excess to the hurt of bodily health or of my usefulness. Keep me both from formal fasting and from thinking much of it, and also from being ashamed to confess that I fast.
Enable me also, O Lord, to take up the cross of almsgiving and to rejoice therein. I should take from myself and bestow upon the poor; I should fast after this manner, I should deal my bread to the hungry and bring the poor that are cast out into my house; when I see the naked I should cover him, and hide not myself from my own flesh. I should set apart a given portion of my earthly means, that my alms may be according to my means. Not only should I give abundantly according to my means, but I should give lovingly, for Thou lovest “a cheerful giver.” Move me by Thy Spirit to have a true love to the poor, that I may succour them out of a loving ​heart. Teach mine eyes and my soul to behold Thee when I behold the poor, that I may give unto them as unto Thee. Teach me so to give unto the hungry, and the thirsty, and the stranger, and the naked, and the widow, and the fatherless, and the captive, as though I saw Thee an hungered, and thirsty, and naked, and sick, and in prison; for then shall I be a true giver of alms, and obtain Thy great blessing, and rightly esteem the poor, as the representatives of Thyself. Lord, Thou hast made it a privilege and an honour to give alms, when Thou didst speak those most gracious words, “Verily I say unto you. Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me.” Henceforth make me forward to bear this cross, to glory in denying myself for the poor's sake that I may have to give to the poor who cannot recompense me, for I believe I shall be “recompensed at the resurrection of the just.”
Grant also, Lord, that not on this day only, but always, I may keep myself from all self-indulgent ways, from all personal luxuriousness, from all superfluities in meat and drink and apparel, from all vain expenses, from all costly tastes, from all love of show and regard of appearances, from all worldliness in my style of ​I living, from frequent entertainment of my richer neighbours, from concessions to the luxurious spirit of these times, from frivolous pleasures, and much mixing in secular society.
Thy Priests should oppose softness by strictness, self-indulgence by self-denial, sumptuousness by simplicity in their living. Surely we are bound to give an example of strictness: strict preaching with easy living. Gospel doctrine with worldly conversation, much speaking of the mortified spirit with much intercourse with the worldly-minded, and fellowship with them in their pleasures and mode of life, will cause the world to misbelieve our words, and to accept our practices.
As one of Thy Priests, called and set apart for the awful work of winning souls, make me indeed to be and also to appear to be a man of God, no lover of the pleasures of the world, nor luxurious, but of a homely, grave, sober life. (To be used where the clergyman is the master of a house or family) And not only ought I to live plainly in my own person and to be a keeper at home, but my whole house should be governed by the same rule. Por what avails it, O Lord, if I die to the world and my household live to it; if I keep at home and they go abroad; if I am sober and they ​frivolous, if I am a lover of God and they “lovers of pleasure.” Give my household grace to live soberly and strictly, that the ministry be not blamed, and that mine may be a household fearing Thee. Make my wife, children, servants, all under me or given to my charge, self-denying and devout, that they may thus help me in the ministry, and so help the salvation of this flock. May we live as a house, that has renounced the world. “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Teach us to serve Thee more and more, and to deny ourselves, and to walk by faith, and to love the things of the Spirit, and to cast out hence the spirit of the world. Make this, through the in-dwelling of the Holy Ghost, a house of peace, and prayer, and love. Knit us together in most holy love, love most spiritual, love like unto Thine own, not worldly affection, but that which is eternal.
O God most merciful, I pray Thee fill this mine own household with Thy Spirit. Be present with us, assist us, guide us into Thine own ways, teach us Thy will, save us from sin, succour us in all time of temptation, comfort us in all time of need, so unite us together upon earth, that we may be raised up to the perfect joy of the kingdom of heaven, through Thine own most precious blood.