# The Seventeen Thieves of El-Kalil/Chapter 10
### CHAPTER X “We must score the last trick with the deuce of spades!”

COHEN took charge of the training of the Rabbi and his men; not that they would not have preferred almost anyone else, for their scorn of him was marrow-deep. He had a certain amount of kindly feeling for them; they none for him whatever. Those timid old last-ditch conservatives had clung to their orthodoxy in the face of worse calamity than Cohen had ever dreamed of; and the pride that accompanies all conservatism had fossilized their humanity to a point where almost nothing mattered except form and ritual.
Most of them traced descent to ancestors who had been driven from Spain by Ferdinand and Isabella and so added to a natural pride of race and creed an unnatural, exotic arrogance copied from the Dons.
But Cohen was for that very reason exactly the man to handle them. He had just enough sympathy to understand them and know what verbal shafts would surest sting them into obedience. He knew enough to threaten—too much to strike; to mock their pride and yet play up to it. And his business brain was working; he had grasped the extent of the possibilities and was keener now on making the most of the situation than on saving his own skin and ours.
I suspect that at the back of that bull-necked head of his he already had a scheme for making money out of the adventure somehow; if so, I am equally sure he abandoned it afterward, because, although a man of his parts might build up a business with the Hebron suk, the same amount of energy and intrigue expended elsewhere would bring at least ten-fold return. But he went at the training of those “Orthodoxies,” as he called them, with the zeal of a man who sees money at the other end.
That left Grim free for equally important things and he took them in proper order.
“Crep,” he said, “will you be a good fellow and go to the Mosque—don’t send, go yourself—and bring the Sheikh here. I’m going to curl up and sleep until he comes.”
“All right. In a hurry to see him?”
“No. My guess is that the more parading about the city you do the better. You and Jonesy and the Sheikh might do worse than interview the notables. Get the crowd so keen on tonight’s show that they’ll have no time to think of much else. Time’s the main thing, remember. We must gain time. Every minute of delay brings the arrival of the Sikhs a minute nearer. Better time the affair for ten o’clock. That may mean that some of ’em’ll be too sleepy afterward to care for anything but bed. Dawn may see the Sikhs on the road. Bring the Sheikh here when you’re good and ready—any time before dark will do. But for the love of Mike, Crep, don’t tell him who I am—yet!”
“Your name means something in this place.”
“Maybe. But if he learns in advance that I’ve been in his mosque in disguise with a Jew and another American he’ll get rabies! Afterward it won’t matter; we’ll have the goods on him afterward! You keep up the fake about my being a messenger from Seyyid Omar of El-Kudz, or we’ll have the whole nest of wasps about our ears yet!”
So de Crespigny rode horseback into the city, acting on the well- established principle that however clumsy and inconvenient the horse might be in narrow streets, the man on his back looks like personified authority and commands more respect from the crowd than a man on foot.
That is particularly true in the case of Arabs, who think more of a man on a horse than in a motor-car. No mechanical appliance less than a machine gun makes much impression on their minds; the gun means power; the horse means dignity; most other modern trappings either excite cupidity or else contempt.
Grim curled up like a dog and slept on the window-seat as soon as de Crespigny had gone—unconscious almost the moment that he closed his eyes. That trick of sleeping like an animal whenever you so choose is only a forgotten gift; most men can pick it up again, like the sense of smell, that belongs to men as much as to the beasts and is far more valuable, really, than sight or hearing.
A deaf and blind man can still smell his way along, and know more of his surroundings than the ordinary man with eyes and ears intact, who hardly uses them. And as for that trick of sleep, it makes you independent of the clock and furlongs in the race ahead of others, who have to go to bed at stated intervals. It is one of the great good things that living in towns has stolen from us.
But Grim was not destined to sleep long. At the end of about an hour Jones came in looking worried and sat down to write a letter to his girl in England. That was hardly a good symptom. Grim came out of his sleep one eye at a time, the way a dog does exactly, without apparent cause, and lay still for about two minutes watching Jones’s back.
“What’s wrong, Jonesy?” he asked suddenly.
“Oh, you awake? We’ve a chance left—one! You couldn’t get much for it!”
“What’s happened?”
“News from Jerusalem. A couple of men got through on foot with word that the Moslems there have been pretty thoroughly suppressed. They say the administrator has taken the part of the Jews and the Jews are crowing about it. So the Moslems cornered Crep in the city and demanded permission to march on Jerusalem and help their co-religionists. He refused, of course; and they don’t want to miss tonight’s show—they’ll wait for that. We’d better spin it out, because as soon as it’s over they’re going to put us out of business and cut loose!”
“But hasn’t Crep got a pledge from the head-men?”
“Sure. They’ll stand by that. They say that if the Jews of this place bring back the fire-gift tonight as promised they’ll spare them. But they haven’t made any promise to spare us and they’re going to blot out the Jerusalem Jews whether we like it or not. They won’t believe there are no rifles in the Governorate, so they’re coming here first—soon as the show’s over!”
“What’s Crep doing now?”
“Arresting a few of the noisiest ones. I brought along half a dozen and left them in the jail. I’m going back there now to stand by and stiffen the jail guard. So long, in case my number’s up!”
He went out again, examining his revolver and Grim got off the window- seat to pace the floor a time or two.
“Maybe I’d better send you,” he said. “It’s thirty miles. D’you think you could reach Jerusalem on foot by midnight?”
“What’s the matter with a camel?”
“You’d be held up. You’re all right until the camel hits a good sharp clip; after that they’d spot you for a white man from a mile away. You’ll have to walk in that disguise, and take your chance with the sentries outside Jerusalem.”
“Ask for Sikhs, I suppose?”
“Yes. Sorry to have to do it. ’Fraid we must. I’d hoped to help these boys pull through without squealing. Do ’em both good with the Administration. Having to yell for help means they’ll get no credit for all that’s gone before. ——! I hate to do it.”
So did I hate it. Setting aside the mere physical exertion of the thirty-mile run, with a good chance of getting knifed or potted on the way and an even better one of being “spiked” by a British sentry in the dark under Jerusalem’s walls, I did not want to miss the big event.
“If I get mine on the road,” I objected, “you’ll be no better off than you were before.”
“No. But you’ll have done your best along with the rest of us.”
You couldn’t answer that. I pulled my boots off, to put soap on my socks.
“Better give me some grub in a handkerchief and lend me a gun, then.”
“Sure.”
But he did nothing about it. He was pacing the floor again, thinking.
“No!” he said suddenly. “Two of Ali Baba’s men must make the trip. If one gets scuppered, the other may get through. I’ll give them two identical letters. They’ll hate to do it, but I can talk the old man round and they’ll obey him. But it’s rotten having to squeal after all this! Damn! I hate it! Jiminy! No! Wait! By gorry, man; I’ll be durned if I won’t try that first!”
“Try what?”
But one of a dozen things you can never make Grim do is talk over the details of a plan that is only half-formed in his mind. He quit pacing the floor, and went and squatted Arab-fashion on the window-seat again.
░ I DID not get a glimmer of what he intended until half an hour later de Crespigny came in, bringing the Sheikh of the mosque with him. Grim gave the Sheikh the window-seat and took the darker corner for himself; taking the hint, I squatted in the curtained alcove leading to the hall, where I might be presumed to be door-keeper and could overhear without being too much seen.
Grim began by asking the Sheikh what arrangements he had made for the night and listened gravely, making no comment.
“Do you think the whole plan is good?” he asked at last.
“Allah! It is your plan! How should you ask that?”
“I propose to call it off!” said Grim and even de Crespigny gasped.
“Ma bisir abadan! Call it off now, after I have stood up in the mosque before all the people and told of a vision and persuaded them and all? How can you call it off? They will simply massacre the Jews!”
“No. It seems to me it would be simpler after all to tell the truth about it.”
“Who will believe you?”
“Every one! I have the man who invented the whole trick as well as those who carried it out. They are all Moslems. I propose to tell the people quite simply that the whole thing was a trick, with you a party to it. I can go and talk to them when they gather before the mosque tonight. They might kill the Jews then, afterward, but attend to you first!”
“And you! They would kill you too!”
“Perhaps. But why me? I don’t think that in the circumstances they would kill a British officer, who had exposed you for playing tricks on them!”
“A British officer? I don’t understand.”
“I’m a British officer.”
“You?”
“Sure. Used to be Governor of Hebron. Grim’s my name. I’m better known as Jimgrim.”
“Hah! Then that is simple! Denounce me tonight. Taib! I will denounce you for having entered the mosque by a trick. I will denounce you for sacrilege!”
“All right. Then they’ll kill us both.”
“But what good will that do you, Jimgrim?”
“No good.”
“Nor me either!” The Sheikh laughed like a man who believes he is conversing with a lunatic.
“If you don’t want to be exposed tonight,” said Grim, “you’d better offer to make terms.”
“Terms about what?”
“You know as well as I do that the mob is planning to attack this Governorate after tonight’s ceremony, kill everybody in it, plunder it of arms, and march on Jerusalem.”
“I can do nothing about that.”
“Yes you can.”
“Allah!”
“You can think up some way of keeping the crowd idle until morning.”
“I? They will not listen to me outside the mosque.”
“All right. Talk to ’em inside the mosque.”
“I have talked enough. I have already accepted risk enough. My place is enough in danger as it is.”
“Can’t you have another vision?”
“Mustahil! They have had enough of visions! They are simple people, but determined. They intend to march on Jerusalem to protect their co-religionists before it is too late. Who can stop them?”
“You can. You can hold them until it’s too late to make the attempt.”
“I? How?”
“You know as well as I do what will happen to them. They’ll be met by machine guns outside the walls of Jerusalem and mowed down.”
“I cannot help that!”
“Yes you can. It’s up to you. If that happens it will be on your head! Now, if we’re willing to go through with this performance tonight to save your position for you at the mosque, you ought to be willing to go a step further to save that crowd from the machine guns. Never mind about us. Consider the crowd.”
“Ya hain! How I regret that I did not denounce those thieves in the first place!”
“Regret’s no good! What are you going to do now; that’s the point. See here: If you’ll—yes, that’ll do the trick! —most of the ringleaders will be inside the mosque, for they’re a holy lot of rascals!—if you’ll get up in the pulpit and give them a long harangue to the effect that your spirit tells you to warn them—to go slow—to be cautious—to wait for the word; and that you’ll give ’em the word at the proper minute—you can leave the rest to us; and we’ll fix it so that you get credit as a prophet. Will you do that?”
“Taib. I will do it. But I doubt that it will do any good.”
“All right, that’s a bargain, then.” Grim turned to the governor. “Crep, old boy, trumps are all out; we must score the last trick with the deuce of spades!”
* ↑ That will never do!
* ↑ Impossible!
* ↑ Oh, the pity of it!