# Memoirs of James Hardy Vaux/Volume 1/Chapter 8

CHAPTER VIII.
THE reader will here observe that I had left behind me, on my desertion, a valuable chest of clothes, books, &c. &c., the purchase of which, but sixteen mouths before, had cost my affectionate friends a large sum; and I had now, by this rash act, defeated their fondest hopes, and brought disgrace as well on them as on the worthy officer who procured me the appointment. It is impossible, however, for my reader to condemn my folly, or rather wickedness, in stronger terms than my own conscience has ever since done. Surely there must, let moralists argue as they will, be something like a fatality which governs the fortunes of some, if not all, men; and which impels them headlong to their ruin, against the voice of reason and of conscience, and the dictates of common sense. But the retrospect affects me too much: I must not aggravate my present sufferings by dwelling longer on what will not bear reflection. All I can now do is to repent of all my errors; and I trust that Divine ​Power will accept my repentance who best knows its sincerity.
Before I resume the thread of my narrative, I will just venture to give the reader a few lines, descriptive of a midshipman's life, which will require, I trusty no apology, when I state that they were the production of some of the junior members of our mess, and composed in die space of a very few hours.—Of the correctness of the picture therein drawn, I can truly say, probatum est.
VERSES
Written on Board His Majesty's Ship, the Astræa, by the younger Midshipmen of that Frigate, 1708.
I.
When in the Cockpit all was dim, And Dot a Mid dar'd ahew his glim; A youth was left alone: He scratched his head; surveyed his clothes; Then took the other cheering dose; And thus began his moan:—
II.
Ah I cursed be that fatal day, When I from home was led astray, In this d——'d place to dwell:
Oh! had I in the country stay'd I might have learnt some useful trade. And scorn'd the white lapelle
III.
When first on board the ship I went. My belly full, my mind content,— No sorrows touched my heart:
I view'd my coat, so flash and new»
My gay cockade, and hanger too.
And thought them wondrous smart.
IV.
But now, alas! my coat is rent; My hanger's pawned; my money spent; My former friends I've miss'd; And when of hardships I complain. My messmates swear 'tis all in vain; And cry, "What made you list?"
V.
But hark! I hear the corp'ral's tread: Another dose, and then to bed; Of ev'ry joy bereft; I shake my bottle with a doubt; My poor half-pint is quite drained out; Not one kind drop is left!
VI.
The youth with indignation barns; Into his hated hammock turns; Alas! not long to sleep: The quarter-master, with hoarse tongue, Awakes him; says, "The bell has rung:" He's rous'd, his watch to keep.
VII.
Shiv'ring he walks the quarter-deck. Dreading the stern lieutenant's check. Who struts the weather-side; With glass and trumpet in his hand, He bellows forth his harsh command. With arrogance and pride.
After the first transports of our meeting had subsided, it was mutually agreed that I should reside altogether with Miss K——e, who, being ignorant of my real circumstances, imagined I was capable of maintaining her and myself, if not in the most splendid, at least in a comfortable manner. I should have stated, however, that the pleasure I felt at being once more free from control, and on my near approach to my favourite spot, London, added to the passion I had conceived for this young lady, had completely banished every idea of returning to my ship, long before I was set down at ​the obelisk in St. George's Fields, where I had exchanged my chaise for a hackney coach, to prevent my being traced.
The following morning I examined into the state of my personal effects; which I found to consist of a dozen fine shirts, about the same number of neck-cloths, hose, and waistcoats, a few odd articles of other apparel, and twenty-one pounds in money, together with an old family gold watch, and the suit of blue I had on my back.
My fair acquaintance evinced some concern at the rash step I had taken; which, imputing wholly to my affection for herself, drew from her professions of gratitude and constancy, which I believe (from her youth and ingenuous mind) to have been sincere. I determined now to domesticate myself with this charming woman for a few weeks; as well to make up for the privations I had suffered for the last sixteen months, by enjoying every comfort money could procure, as to preclude any risk of being apprehended for desertion before the ship's departure.
During this retirement, which I might justly call a honeymoon, from the happiness I experienced, I obtained from Miss K———e some account of herself, and the misfortunes which had reduced her to the disgraceful situation in which I found her. The following are the particulars:—
She was the second daughter of a respectable tradesman in the city, who had placed her, with her ​elder sister, at a boarding school in Queen-square, where she had become perfectly accomplished, About a year before our acquaintance began, she had been accidentally seen walking in the garden of the square, to which the young ladies had access, by an officer of dragoons, who, being struck with her beauty, had employed every art of bribery and intrigue, first to open a correspondence by letter, and afterwards to obtain a personal interview, of which opportunity he made such good use that he succeeded in seducing this amiable child, then just fifteen years of age, to elope from her school, to sacrifice to him, honour, fortune, and parental affection, and entail on herself ruin, remorse, and endless shame!
This gallant hero treated her with the fondest attention, and spared no expense to gratify her every wish, and, by a continual round of splendid dissipation, to banish any reflections which might otherwise obtrude themselves; and in this (owing to her youth land the natural levity of her sex,) he so far succeeded that she felt not, for the first six months, those compunctions which, sooner or later, must attend conscious guilt. At the end of that time, however, her protector, being ordered abroad with his regiment, left her with a slender, provision in possession; but for which he made up with most liberal promises of future bounty. It is probable he had by this time gratified a passion which was at ​first but of a sensual nature; and I am led to think his going abroad was only a fiction, the better to cover his base design of deserting her: be this as it mighty she had never since heard from him; and, as her little money was soon exhausted, she found herself alone and friendless, and now first began to reflect on the consequences of her imprudence. She had, on quitting the school, assumed the name of K———e, which I have recorded her by, in order to avoid the inquiries of her family; to whom shame and (perhaps false) delicacy, now deterred her from a thought of returning. In the late scenes of her guilty prosperity she had formed an acquaintance with several kept women who were living, like herself, in elegant infamy. She now had recourse to some of these friends for temporary assistance; but alas! they soon convinced her how little is to be expected from such friendship, when adversity renders it most essential. In a fatal moment she took the usual course of persons similarly situated; she procured a suitable lodging where her misfortunes, were not known, and frequented the theatres and other public places; at which (being a new face on the town), she was successful above all her competitors in attracting the notice of the male sex. The pecuniary emoluments she thence derived had enabled her to live elegantly; and her person and carriage were so much above the common class of Cyprians that she was still, at the time I first saw ​her, an object of general admiration. Fortunately also her health was yet untainted, so that, could I have found means for our mutual support, this connexion promised to be a source of happiness to us both. She felt happy at the opportunity of quitting a course of life which had always disgusted her and little regret for the past (being ignorant of the true state of my finances) save when a melancholy thought of her disconsolate family caused a temporary effusion of grief.
The first month or honey-moon of our connexion being expired, and the Astræa long departed from the river, I began to revolve in my mind the means of future subsistence. As I had spared no expense to render our retirement pleasing, and had purchased for myself a suit of plain clothes, I now found myself reduced to my last guinea, and I knew that unless I hit upon some mode of speedily recruiting, I must have recourse to the pawnbroker for another. These unpleasing reflections gave me much uneasiness; but I carefully concealed it from my partner, and preserved the same air of cheerfulness as before. At length came "th' inevitable hour." Money was wanting for household purposes, and I was obliged to raise a few pounds, by depositing my watch in the usual place of security. I accounted for the absence of this article by a pretence that it wanted repair. This small supply lasted but a fortnight, as we retrenched nothing of ​our mode of living; and I had lately accompanied my dear Sarah to the theatres, and other places of diversion, for which amusement she had as violent a passion as myself. But I have now to relate an event, which no less afflicted than surprised me, and of which I had not the most distant apprehension.
One night, towards the close of the last mentioned period, we had returned late from the opera, and, being in high spirits though low in pocket, I proposed to send for a small collation from the neighbouring tavern, and to indulge in a little extra festivity: this was approved of by my charmer, who indeed had no will but mine; and, our little maid having procured the necessary requisites, we enjoyed a most comfortable supper; after which we circulated the cheering glass, the wine receiving an additional zest from the wit and enlivening conversation of my fair companion. But mark the uncertainty of human happiness!
About two o'clock, as we were on the point of retiring to rest, we were surprised by a sudden and loud knock at the street door, which being unusual at so late an hour, caused a momentary alarm to us both. Before we had time to form any idea of the cause, the door of our apartment was burst rudely open, and three persons entered, at the sight of whom, my unfortunate girl fainted in my arms, on the sofa whereon we sat. One of the three persons, ​a respectable looking elderly gentleman, from his tender anxiety, but mixed with some degree of severity, I soon conjectured to be her unhappy father; in which I was not mistaken. The other two immediately called the landlady of the house, by whose assistance they recovered the poor girl from her swoon; which having accomplished, they instantly hurried her down stairs, the old gentleman darting an angry look at me, and left me so stupified with grief and surprise, that I had not power to follow, or notice their proceedings. I soon afterwards heard a coach drive from the door, on which the latter was immediately &hut, and the landlady coming up, informed me of what she had gathered during a short conversation from the parties. It appeared that the young lady had been seen with me the preceding night at the opera-house, by a friend of her family, who knowing of her elopement, had officiously followed US home, and then immediately given information to her father, who applying instantly to Sir William Ford, the Bow-Street magistrate, that gentleman had detached Messrs. Townshend and Carpmeal (two of his principal officers) to assist him in the recovery of his lost child. This they had effected as I have described; the anxiety of her parent not suffering him to defer the business even till the ensuing day. The woman added that on learning from her, the life his daughter had led for some months prior to her acquaintance with me, ​and that I was not her original seducer, he had declined the idea of apprehending me, which the officers were otherwise empowered to do.
This melancholy event was a grievous affliction to me, who had relinquished an honourable situation, purely on her account; and was now not only deprived of a beloved object, but reduced to a state of utter poverty. Notwithstanding every inquiry I could institute, I could never obtain any further information as to the fate of Miss K———e , than what I extracted by a bribe from one of the officers, who assured me that it was her father's intention to send her to a remote part of the kingdom, where she had a female relation who had undertaken the care of her: but this man declared that the name of her parents was known only to the magistrate, which was perhaps true: and the dear girl had never even disclosed her real name to myself, but had almost promised so to do on a little longer acquaintance.
I now quitted this lodging, the wearing apparel of my late companion being claimed by the landlady for some arrears of rent, as the father had refused to take any thing from the house, and never approached it more, I engaged a small apartment for myself in a more centrical situation; and, to supply my immediate wants, deposited one article after another at the pawnbroker's, till I had no longer any thing left to deposit.
It was necessary, however, before my appearance ​became too shabby, to find some means of support. As to my friends, I had given up every idea of returning to them, nor did I, for some months after this, acquaint them of the rash step I had taken: and when I afterwards did so, I amused my poor grandfather with a fictitious account of my having returned to the law, and assured him that I was doing well; for as I have before hinted, I was so sensible of the inconvenience which that worthy man must unavoidably suffer in his old age, from his too great liberality to me, that I determined to submit to any hardships rather than be a further incumbrance upon him.
I had, during my former residence in London, taken great delight in billiards, and, by a frequent attendance at public tables, had become a tolerably good player. I had renewed my acquaintance with this game, since my last arrival in town; and, urged by necessity, I now deemed it possible to pick up a little money at one of these boards of green cloth. For this purpose I attended daily at the rooms in Bow-Street, Covent Garden, where, by a few days play with the marker, I gained a knowledge of the tables; and, as nothing contributes like practice to improve one at this scientific game, I was soon enabled to engage with such gentlemen as accidentally dropped in for an hour's amusement, which I obligingly afforded them at the expense of a few shillings.
These opportunities, however, only occurred in ​the early part of the day; for in the evenings, the tables, as well as the spoil, were engrossed by a combination of five or six sharpers, who regularly attended for the same purpose as myself; but their operations were upon a more extensive scale: by forming sham matches among themselves, engaging by-standers to bet on either side, and then playing booty, and by various other expedients, they frequently obtained large sums, and were enabled to appear genteelly about town. These gentry soon viewed me with a jealous eye; regarding me, I suppose, as an interloper, who encroached upon their rights of plunder. I therefore found it would be necessary to have an understanding with their party, by which means I should reap a much better harvest than I could do by a mere course of fair play, in which I was sometimes unavoidably beat. I at length, effected my object, by means of an elderly man, whose goodnatured countenance encouraged me to introduce a conversation on the subject. This person, who was a veteran in the arts of play, and of some consequence in the gang, seemed flattered by the respectful manner in which I addressed him, and, complimenting me on the talents I possessed, assured me I should receive from himself every advice requisite to render me useful; and that I might depend on the most equitable treatment in the division of any money I might be accessary to obtaining.
I was the same evening formally accepted as a ​member of this sharping fraternity; and after a libation at the Piazzza coffee-house, they repaired to the scene of action, where I soon afterwards dropped in, as if by accident; and, having played a few games with the marker, in which I betrayed great want of skill, I was at length challenged by one of our party, who had been seen at other times to play well. Of course, bets in plenty were offered against me; and in the middle of the game, pretending to be irritated at the general discouragement of the by-standers, I affected to grow warm, and took odds of several gentlemen, that I won the game (which was now six to four against me); my antagonist also backed himself by laying the same odds with some of our confederates, after which, no more bets being offered, he relaxed a little in his play, I improved in proportion, and having, for form's sake, suffered the game to arrive at twenty all, the flats (or strangers) began to look foolish, and endeavoured to hedge off, as the phrase is, but without effect. I therefore made a successful hazard, and decided the game, to the great chagrin of those who had so warmly opposed me. The person who played with me, declared I had won by mere luck, and random play, and, throwing down his bets with a passionate air, swore he would play me the following day for a larger sum, and give me five points. This finesse prevented any suspicion in the minds of the losers, whom it was our interest to keep ignorant of the combination existing. The room soon ​after getting thin, we departed one at a time, and meeting at the usual place, apportioned the division of the evening's profit, which amounted to about thirty pounds.
I continued to associate with this knot of gamblers for several weeks; but I soon found that our success was very uncertain, depending upon the number of strangers who happened to visit the rooms; as those who had once been duped by us, were always cautious in future, and would neither play nor bet with us. It was only, therefore, from gentlemen who were not in the habit of frequenting this house, that we had a chance of gaining any thing worth notice: so that upon the whole, what I acquired was barely sufficient to keep me above want. The summer too, having now commenced, at which season there is but little company at the billiard rooms, the confederates to whom I had attached myself, left town upon a tour to the different races, some with an E O table, others trusting to their general abilities at hazard playing, cocking, &c. As I had neither found the pleasure or profit which I derived from a connexion with them to afford that satisfaction I expected, I was not concerned at a separation from them. I therefore rubbed on as well as I could by myself, spending my leisure time much in my usual manner, but always taking care to preserve a genteel appearance, on which I knew every success depended.
As I was one morning reading the papers at the ​coffee-house where I commonly breakfasted, I met with an advertisement for a clerk to an attorney in the country. As this was a situation I had never held, and the season of the year was favourable to an excursion, I determined to offer my services, promising myself, at least, to derive some benefit to my health, and amusement from changing the scene; but I had always a partiality for London, and could never wholly reconcile myself to a country life, since I first tasted of the various pleasures with which the metropolis abounds.
I immediately applied to the advertising parties, Messrs. Dalton and Edwards, in King's Bench Walk, Temple, and was introduced to the latter gentleman, who informed me it was a Mr. Dalton of Bury St. Edmunds, who wanted a clerk capable of conducting his business. As I had acquired a greater share of experience, and a better insight of the different branches of the profession, than many others would do in a much longer course of service, I hesitated not to undertake the duties required; and as expedition was necessary, Mr. Edwards, after some few inquiries, engaged me immediately at a weekly salary of one pound, which in so cheap a part of the country, he observed, was equal to twice the sum in London. He desired me if possible, to set out that very day, and writing a short letter of introduction to Mr. Dalton, gave it me, together with a small sum to bear my expenses to Bury. I then ​took my leave, and having gained the street, I was curious to know in what terms my credentials ran. The wafer being still wet, I opened the letter, in which Mr. Edwards; had briefly stated the agreement he had made with me, and concluded in these words: "I have every reason to believe him an expert clerk, and do not doubt but he will prove an acquisition." How far this good gentleman's prediction was verified, the next Chapter will disclose. I lost no time in preparing for my journey, and having bat few clothes to pack up, I took my departure from the Blue Boar in Bishopsgate-street, at seven o'clock, P. M., and the next morning arrived at St. Edmundsbury.
* ↑ In line-of-battle ships the midshipman's birth, or cabin, is in the cockpit.
* ↑ Candle.
* ↑ A dram of rum is here meant, to a bottle of which it seems the youth was applying for consolation.
* ↑ Alluding to the uniform of a lieutenant, which is faced with white.
* ↑ The ship's corporal, whose duty it is to see all lights extinguished at eight o'clock.
* ↑ His daily allowance of spirits.
* ↑ The lieutenant of the watch walks the weather-side; the, midshipman, the lee.
* ↑ Telescope and speaking-trumpet.