# Wedding-ring, fit for the finger, or, The salve of divinity on the sore of humanity (2)

А
Wedding-Ring,
Fit for the Finger:
OR,
The Salve of Divinity on the Sore of Humanity.
LAID OPEN IN A
SERMON,
PREACHED AT
A WEDDING in St. EDMOND's.
By WILLIAM SECKER,
Late Preacher of the Goſpel.
Genesis iii. 18.
And the Lord God ſaid. It is not good that the man ſhould be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
FALKIRK:
PRINTED FOR THE BOOKSELLERS.
1820.
A
SERMON
ON
Genesis iii. 18.
And the Lord God ſaid. It is not good that the man ſhould be alone: I will make him an help-meet for him.
HUMAN misery is to divine mercy as a black foil to a ſparkling diamond; or as a ſable cloud to the ſun-beams; Pſalm viii. 4. "Lord what is man that thou art mindful of him!
Man is, in his creation, angelical; in his corruption, diabolical; in his renovation, theological; in his tranſlation, majeſtical.
There were four ſilver channels, in which the chryſtal ſtreams of God's affection ran to man in his creation
1. In his preparation. 2. In his aſſimilation. 3. In his coronation. 4. In his aſſociation.
1. In his preparation. Other creatures received the character of their beings by a ſimple fiat; but there was a conſultation at his forming: not for the difficulty, but for the dignity of the work. The painter is moſt studious about that which he means to make his maſterpiece. The four elements were taken out of their elements to make up the perfection of man's complexion: the fire was purified, the earth was refined. When man was moulded, heaven and earth were married, a body from the one, was eſpouſed to a ſoul from the other. ​3. In his aſſimilation. Other creatures were made like themſelves, but man was made like God as the wax hath the impreſſion of the ſeal upon it. It is admirable to behold ſo fair a picture in ſuch coarſe canvas, and ſo bright a character in ſo brown paper.
3. In his coronation. He that made man, and all the reſt, made man over all the reſt; he was a little lord of a great lordſhip: this king was crowned in his cradle.
4. In his aſſociation. Society is the ſolace of bumanity; the world would be a deſart, without a conſort.
Moſt of man's parts are made in pairs; now he that was double in his perfection, muſt not be ſingle in his condition; "And the Lord ſaid," &c.
Theſe words are like the iron gate that opened to Peter of it's own accord, dividing themſelves into three parts:
I. An Introduction: "And the Lord God ſaid" 2 An Aſſertion: "It is not good that man ſhould be alone." 3 A determination: "I will make an help meet for him"
In the firſt there is a majeſty propoſed.—In the ſecond there is a malady preſented. In the third there is a remedy provided.
Once more let me put theſe grapes into the preſs.
1. The ſovereignneſs of the expreſſion: "And the Lord God ſaid." 2. The ſolitarineſs of the condition: "It is not good" &c. 3. The ſuitableneſs of the proviſion: I will make," &c. ​In the firſt, there is the worth of veracity. In the ſecond, there is the want of ſociety.—In the third, there is the work of divinity.
Of theſe in their order. And,
1. The ſovereignneſs of the expreſion— "And the Lord God ſaid, &c." Luke i. 70. "As he ſpake by the mouths of his prophets." In other ſcriptures he uſed their mouths, but in this he makes uſe of his own. They were the organs, and he the breath. They the ſtreams, and he the fountain. How he ſpake, it is hard to determine; whether eternally, internally, or externally. We are not to enquire into the manner of ſpeaking, but into the matter that is ſpoken; which leads me, like a directing ſtar from the ſuburbs to the city; from the porch to the palace, from the founder of the mine, to the treaſure that is in it: "It is not good," &c. In which we have two things:
1. The Subject 2. The Predicate. The Subject, "Man alone." The Predicate, "It is not good." &c.
1. The Subject "Man alone." Take this in two branches.
* As it is limited to one man.
* As it is lengthened to all men.
Firſt As it is limited to one man: And ſo it is taken particularly: Man for the firſt man.
When all other creatures had their mates, Adam wanted his, though he was the emperor of the earth, and the admiral of the ſeas yet in Paradiſe without a companion; though he ​was truly happy, yet he was not fully happy; though he had enough for his board, yet he had not enough for his bed; though he had many creatures to ſerve him, yet he wanted a creature to ſolace him: when he was compounded in creation he muſt be compleated by conjunction; when he had no ſin to hurt him, then he muſt have a wife to help him: "It is not good that man ſhould be alone."
Secondly. As it is lengthened to all men; and ſo it is taken univerſally Heb xiii 4. "Marriage is honourable unto all." It is not only warrantable but honourable. The whole Trinity hath conſpired together to ſet a crown of glory upon the head of matrimony.
1. God the Father. Marriage was a tree planted within the walls of Paradiſe; the flower firſt grew in God's garden.
2. The Son. Marriage is a chryſtal glaſs, wherein Chriſt and the ſaints do ſee each other's faces.
3. The Holy Ghoſt, by his overſhadowing of the bleſſed Virgin. Well might the world, when it ſaw her pregnancy, ſuſpect her virginity; but her matrimonial condition was a grave to that ſuſpicion; without this, her innocency had not presented her infamy; ſhe needed a ſhield to defend that chaſtity abroad, which wat kept inviolable at home.
Too many that have not worth enough to preſerve their virginity, have yet will enough to cover their unchaſtity; turning the medicine of frailty into the mantle of filthineſs.—Certainly ſhe is mad that cuts off her leg, to get her a crutch; or that venoms her face to wear a maſk. ​Paul makes it one of the characters of thoſe that ſhould cheriſh the faith 1 Tim. iv. 3. Not to forbear marriage; which is not only lawful, but all honourable;—— to forbid which, is damnably ſinful, and only taught by the influence of devils. One of the Popes of Rome ſprinkles this unholy and impure drop upon it, "Carnis pollutionuem et immunditiem."
It is ſtrange that ſhould be a pollution, which was inſtituted before corruption; or that impurity which was ordained in the ſtate of innocency; or that they ſhould make that to be a ſin, which they make to be a ſacrament; ſtrange ſtupidity! ——But a bastard may be laid at the door of chaſtity, and a leaden crown ſet upon a golden head:—— Bellarmine, (that mighty atlas of the Papal power) blows his ſtinking breath upon it: "Better were it for a prieſt to defile himſelf with many harlots, than to be married to one wife." ——Theſe children of the purple whore prefer a monaſteries before marriages, a concubine before a companion. They uſe too many women for their luſts, to chooſe any for their love.——Their tables are ſo largely ſpread, that they cannot feed upon one diſh. As for their exalting of a virgin-ſtate it is like him who commended fasting when he had filled his belly. Who knows not, that virginity is a pearl of a ſparkling luſtre? But the one cannot be ſet up, without the other be thrown down: No oblation will pacify the former, but the demoliſhing of the latter. Tho' we find many enemies to the choice of marriage, yet it is rare to find any enemies to the uſe of marriage. ​They would pick the lock that wants the key, and pluck the fruit that do not plant the tree. The Hebrews have a ſaying, That he is not a man that hath not a wife. Though they climb too high a bough yet it is to be feared that ſuch fleſh is full of imperfection, that is nottending to propagation: Though man alone, may be good, yet "It is not good that man ſhould be alone." Which leads me from the Subject to the Predicate "It is not good."
Now, it is not good that man ſhould be in a ſingle condition on a threefold conſideration.
1. In reſpect of ſin, which would not elſe be prevented: Marriage is like water, to quench the ſparks of luſt's fire 1 Cor. vii. 2. "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication let every one have his own wife," &c. Man needed no ſuch phyſick when he was in perfect health.
Temptations may break nature's beſt fence, and lay it's paradiſe waſte; but a ſingle life is a priſon of unruly deſires, which is daily attempted to be broken open. Some indeed, force themſelves to a ſingle life merely to avoid the charges of a married ſtate; they chooſe rather to live in their own ſenſuality, than extinguiſh thoſe flames with an allowed remedy: "It is better to marry than to burn;" to be lawfully coupled, than to be luſtfully scorched. It is beſt to feed theſe flames with ordinate fuel.
2. It is not good in reſpect of mankind, which then would not be propagated. The Roman Historian, relating the raviſhing of the Sabine woman, excuſed them thus, “Without them, mankind would fall from the earth, ​and periſh." Marriages do turn mutability into the image of eternity; it ſprings up new buds, when the old are withered. It is greater honour for a man to be the father of one ſon, than to be the maſter of many ſervants.—— Without a wife, children cannot be had lawfully: without a good wife children cannot be had comfortably. Man and woman, as the ſtock and the ſcion, being grafted in marriage, are trees bearing fruit to the world. Auguſtine ſays, "They are the firſt link of human ſociety, to which all the reſt are joined." Mankind had long ago decayed, and been like a taper fallen into the ſocket, if theſe breaches which are made by mortality, were not repaired by matrimony.
3. It is not good in regard of the church, which could not then have been expatiated.— Where there is no generation, there can be no regeneration. Nature makes us creatures, before grace makes us Chriſtians. If the loins of man had been leſs fruitful, the death of Chriſt would have been leſs ſucceſsful. It was a witty queſtion that one put to him that ſaid, "Marriage fills the earth but virginity fills the heavens." How can the heavens be full, if the earth be empty?
Had Adam lived in innocency, without matrimony, there would have been no ſervants of God in the church militant, nor no ſaints with God, in the church triumphant. But I will not ſink this veſſel by the over-burthen of it, nor preſs this truth to death, by laying too great a load upon its ſhoulders. There is one knot which I muſt untie, before I make farther progreſs. In 1 Cor. vii. 1. it is ſaid, "It is ​good for a man not to touch a woman." Do all the Scriptures proceed out of the ſame mouth? And do they not all ſpeak the fame truth?—The God of unity will not indite diſcord: and the God of verity cannot aſſert falſhood. If good and evil be contraries, how contrary then are these Scriptures? Either Moſes miſtakes God, or Paul miſtakes Moſes about the point of marriage. To which I ſhall give a double anſwer.
1. There is a public and a private good. In reſpect of one man, it may be good not to touch a woman; but in reſpect of all, "It is not good that man ſhould be alone."
2. Moſes ſpeaks of the ſtate of man created, Paul of the ſtate of man corrupted. Now, that which by inſtitution was a mercy, by corruption may become a miſery; as pure water is tainted by running through a miry channel; or as the ſun beams receive a tincture by ſhining through a coloured glaſs. There is no print of evil in the world, but ſin was the ſtamp that made it. They that ſeek nothing but weal in its commiſſion, will find nothing but wo in the concluſion. Which leads me from the ſolitarineſs of the condition. "Man alone," to the ſuitableneſs of the proviſion, "I will make an help meet for him."
In which you have two parts: 1. The Agent, I will make. 2. The Object, A help.
1. The Agent. I will make. We cannot build a house without tools, but the Trinity is at liberty. To God's omniscience there is nothing impoſſible. We work by hands, ​but he works without hands. He that made man meet for help, makes a meet help for man. Marriages are conſented above, but conſummated below. Prov. xviii. 22. Though man wants ſupply, yet man cannot ſupply his wants James i. 17. "Every good and perfect gift comes from above" &c. A wife, though ſhe be not a perfect gift, yet ſhe is a good gift. Theſe beams are darted from the Son of righteouſneſs. Haſt thou a ſoft heart? It is of God's breaking. Haſt thou a ſweet wife? She is of God's making. Let me draw up this with double application.
1. When thou layeſt out for ſuch a good on earth, look up to the God of heaven, let him make thy choice for thee, who made his choice of thee. Look above you before you, about you; nothing makes up the happineſs of a married condition, like the holineſs of a mortified diſpoſition: count not thoſe the moſt worthy that are the moſt wealthy. Art thou matched to the Lord? Match in the Lord— How happy are ſuch marriages, where Chriſt is at the wedding! Let none but thoſe who have found favour in God's eyes, find favour in yours.
2. Give God the tribute of your gratulation for your good companions. Take heed of paying your rent to a wrong landlord: when you take of the ſtream, reflect upon the ſpring that feeds it. Now thou haſt four eyes for thy ſpeculation, four hands for thy operation, four feet for thy abulation, and four ſhoulders for thy ſuſtentation. ​What the ſin against the Holy Ghoſt is, in point of divinity, that is unthankfulneſs, in point of morality, an offence unpardonable. Pity it is, but that moon ſhould be ever in an eclipse, that will not acknowledge her beams to be borrowed from the ſun. He that praiſes not the giver, prizes not the gift. And ſo I paſs from the Agent to the Object, A help.
She muſt be ſo much, and no leſs; and ſo much, and no more. Our ribs were not ordained to be our rulers. They are not made of the head, to claim ſuperiority; but out of the ſide, to be content with equality. They deſert the Author of nature, who invert the order of nature. The woman was made for the man's comfort, but the man was nat made for woman's command. Thoſe ſhoulders aſpire too high that content not themſelves with a room below their head.
It is between a man and his wife in the houſe, as it is between the ſun and the moon in the heavens, when the greater light goes down, the leſſer light gets up; when the one ends in ſetting, the other begins in ſhining. The wife may be a ſovereign in her huſband's abſence, but ſhe muſt be ſubject in her huſband's preſence.
As Pharaoh ſaid to Joſeph, ſo ſhould the huſband ſay to his wife, Gen. xli. 40. "Thou ſhalt be over my houſe, and according to thy word ſhall all my people be ruled; only in the throne will I be greater than thou." The body of that houſehold can never make any good motion, whose bones are out of place.
The woman must be a help to the man in ​theſe four things: 1 To his ſociety 2. To his ſociety. 3. To his progeny. 4. To his proſperity. To his piety by the ferventneſs of her excitation. To his ſociety, by the fragrantneſs of her converſation. To his progeny, by the fruitfulneſs of her education. To his proſperity, by her faithful preſervation.
1. To his piety by the ferventneſs of her excitation, 1 Pet. ii. 7. Huſband and wife ſhould be as the two milch-kine, which were coupled together to carry the ark of God; or, as the two cherubims, that looked one upon another, and both upon the mercy-ſeat; or as the two trbles of ſtone, on each of which were engraven the laws of God. In ſome families married perſons are like Jeremiah's two baſkets of figs, the one very good, the other very evil; or like fire and water, whilſt the one is flaming in devotion, the other is freezing in corruption.
There is a two-fold hindrance of holineſs: 1. On the right ſide. 2. On the left.
On the right ſide when the wife would run in God's way, the huſband will not let her go. When the fore-horſe in a team will not draw, he hinders all the reſt; when the general of an army forbids a march all the ſoldiers ſtand ſtill. Sometimes on the left: How did Solomon's idolatrous wives draw away his heart from heaven? A ſining wife was Satan's firſt ladder, by which he ſcaled the wall of Paradiſe, and took away the fort-royal of Adam's heart from him. Thus ſhe, that ſhould have been the help of his fleſh, was the hurt of his faith; his nature's under-proper, became his grace's underminer, and ſhe that ​ſhould have been a crown on the head, became a croſs on the ſhoulders. The wife is often to the huſband as the ivy is to the oak, which draws away his ſap from him.
2. A help to his ſociety, by the fragrantneſs of her converſation. Man is an affectionate creature; now the woman's behaviour ſhould be ſuch towards the man, as to require his affection, by increaſing his delectation, that the new-born love may not be ruined before it be rooted. A wife ſhould carry herſelf ſo to her huſband, as not to diſturb his love by her contention, nor to deſtroy his love by her alienation. Huſband and wife ſhould be like two candles burning together, which makes the houſe more lightſome; or like two fragrant flowers bound up in one noſegay, that augments its ſweetneſs; or like two well-tuned inſtruments, which ſounding together, make the more melodious muſic. Huſband and wife, what are they but as two ſprings meeting, and ſo joining their ſtreams, that they make but one current? It is an unpleaſing ſpectacle, to view any contention in this conjunction.
3. To his progeny, by the fruitfulneſs of her education; that ſo her children in the fleſh, may be God's children in the spirit. 1 Sam. i. 11. Hannah ſhe vows, if the Lord will give her a ſon ſhe would give him to the Lord, to ſerve him. A mother ſlould be more careful of her children's breeding than ſhe ſhould be fearful of her children's bearing. Take heed, left theſe flowers grow up in the devil's garden.—— Though you brought them out in corruption, ​yet do not bring them up to damnation. Thoſe are not mothers, but monſters, that, whilſt the ſhould be teaching their children the way to heaven with their lips, are leading them the way to hell with their lives. Good education is the beſt livery you can give them living; and it is the beſt legacy you can leave them dying. You let out your cares to make them great. O lift up your prayers to make them good, that before you are from them, you may ſee Chriſt live in them. Whilſt theſe twigs are green and tender, they ſhould be bowed towards God.
Children and ſervants are in a family, as paſſengers are in a boat; huſband and wife, they are as a pair of oars to row them to their deſired haven. Let theſe ſmall pieces of timber be hewed and ſquared for the celeſtial building. By putting a ſceptre of grace into their hands, you will ſet a crown of glory upon their heads.
4. A help to his proſperity, by her faithful preſervation; being not a wanderer abroad, but a worker at home. One of the ancients ſpeaks excellently: She muſt not be a field-wife, like Dinah; nor a ſtreet-wife, like Thamar; nor a window-wife, like Jezebel.
Phildeas, when he drew a woman, painted her under a ſnail-ſhell; that ſhe might imitate that little creature, that goes no further than it can carry its houſe upon its head. How many women are there, that are not labouring bees, but idle drones; that take up a room in the hive, but bring no honey to it; that are moths to their huſband's eſtates, ſpending when they ​ſhould be ſparing? As the man's part is, to provide induſtriouſly, ſo the woman's is, to preſerve diſcreetly; the one muſt not be careleſly wanting, the other muſt not be cauſeleſly waſting; the man must be ſeeking with diligence, the woman muſt be ſaving with prudence. The cock and hen both ſcrape together in the duſt-heap, to pick up ſomething for the little chickens. To wind up this on a short bottom,
1. If the woman be a help to the man, then let not the man caſt dirt on the woman.
Secundus being aſked his opinion of women, said "Viri naufragium, domus tempeſtas, quietus impedimentum," &c. But ſurely he was a monſter, and not a man; fitter for a tomb to bury him, than a womb to bear him. Some have ſtiled them to be like clouds in the ſky: Like motes in the ſun: Like ſnuffs in the candle: Like weeds in the garden. But it is not good to play the butcher with that naked ſex, that hath no arms but for embraces.
A preacher should not be ſilent in the cauſe of thoſe who are always ſilenced from preaching.—Because they are the weaker veſſels, ſhall they be broken all to pieces? Thou that ſayeſt women are evil, it may be thy expreſſion flows from thy experience; but I shall never take that mariner for my pilot, that hath no better knowledge than the ſplitting of his own ship. Wilt thou condemn the frame of all, for the fault of one? As if it were true logic, becauſe ſome are evil, therefore none are good. He hath ill eyes, that disdains all ​objects. To blaſt thy helper is to blame thy Maker. In a word, we took our riſe from their bowels, and may take our reſt in their boſoms.
2. Is the woman to be a help to the man? Then let the man be a help to the woman — What makes ſome debtors to be ſuch ill pay-maſters, but becauſe they look at what is owing to them, but not at what is owing by them. If thou wouldſt have thy wife's reverence let her have thy reſpect. To force a tear from this relation, is that which neither befits the huſband's authority to enjoin, nor the wife's duty to perform. A wife muſt not be ſharply driven but ſweetly drawn Compaſſion may bend her, but compulſion will break her.—Huſband and wife ſhould act towards each other with conſent, not by conſtraint. There are four things wherein the huſband is a meet-help to the wife.
1. In his protection of her from injuries. It is well obſerved by one, That the rib of which woman was made was taken from under his arm: As the uſe of the arm is to keep off blows from the body, ſo the office of the huſband is to ward off blows from the wife ——The wife is the huſband's treaſury, and the huſband the wife's armoury: In darkneſs he ſhould be her ſun for direction; in danger he ſhould be her ſhield for protection.
2 In his providing for her neceſſities. The huſband muſt communicate maintenance to the wife as the head conveys influence to the members; thou muſt not be a drone, and ​ſhe a drudge. A man in a married eſtate, is like a chamberlain in an inn, there is knocking for him in every room. Many perſons in this condition, waſte that eſtate in luxury, which ſhould ſupply their wife's neceſſity:—— they have neither the faith of a Chriſtian, nor the love of a huſband! It is a ſad ſpectacle to ſee a virgin ſold with her own money unto ſlavery when ſervices are better than marriages; the one receives wages, whilſt the others buy their fetters.
3. In his covering of her infirmities. Who would trample upon a jewel becauſe it is fallen in the dirt? or throw away a heap of wheat for a little chaff? or deſpiſe a golden wedge, becauſe it retains ſome droſs? Theſe roſes have ſome prickles. Now, huſbands ſhould ſpread a mantle of charity over their wives' infirmities. They be ill birds that defile their own neſts. It is a great deal better you ſhould faſt, than feaſt yourſelves upon their failings. Some huſbands are never well, but when they are holding their fingers in their wife's ſores. Such are like crows that faſten only upon carrion. Do not put out the candle becauſe of the ſnuff. Huſbands and wives ſhould provoke one another to love; and they ſhould love one-another notwithſtanding of provocation.—Take heed of poiſoning thoſe ſprings from whence the ſtreams of your pleaſure flow.
4. By his delighting in her ſociety. A wife takes ſanctuary not only in her huſband's houſe, but in his heart. The tree of love ſhould grow up in the family, as the tree of life grew ​up in the garden. They that chuſe their love, ſhould love their choice. They that marry where they affect not will affect where they marry not. Two joined together without love are but tied together to make one-another miſerable. And ſo I paſs to the laſt ſtage of the text A help meet.
A help there is her fulneſs: A meet help, there is her fitneſs. The angels were too much above him, the inferior creatures too much below him: he could not ſtep up to the former, nor could he ſtoop down to the latter; the one was out of his reach, the other was out of his race; but the woman is a parallel line drawn equal with him. Meet ſhe muſt be in three things.
1. In the harmony of her diſpoſition.—Huſband and wife ſhould be like the image in a looking glaſs, that anſwers in all properties to the face that ſtands before it; or like an echo, that returneth the voice it receiveth. Many marriages are like putting new wine into old bottles. An old man is not a meet-help for a young woman: He that ſets a grey head upon green ſhoulders, hath one foot in the grave and another in the cradle. Yet how many times do you ſee the ſpring of youth wedded to the winter of old age? A young man is not a meet-help for an old woman; raw fleſh is but an ill plaiſter for rotten bones. He that in his none-age marries another in her dotage, his luſt hath one wife in poſſeſſion, but his love hath another in reverſion.
2. In heraldry of her condition. Some of our European nations are ſo ſtrict in their junctions, that it is again their laws for the ​commonality to couple with the gentry.— It was well ſaid by one "If the wife be too much above her huſband ſhe either ruins him by her vast expences or reviles him with her baſe reproaches: if ſhe be too much below her huſband, either her former condition makes her too generous, or her preſent mutation makes her too imperious." Marriages are ſtyled matches; yet amongſt thoſe many that are married how few are there that are matched! Huſbands and wives are like locks and keys that rather break than open, except the wards be anſwerable
3. In the holineſs of her religion. If adultery may ſeparate a marriage contracted, idolatry may hinder a marriage not perfected, Cattle of divers kinds were not to ingender: 2 Cor. vi. 14. "Be not unequally yoked" &c. It is dangerous taking her for a wife, who will not take God for a huſband. It is not meet that one fleſh ſhould be of two ſpirits. Is there never a tree thou likest in the garden but that which bears forbidden fruit? There are but two channels in which the remaining ſtreams ſhall run: 1. To those men that want wives how to chuſe them. 2 To thoſe women who have huſbands, how to uſe them.
1. To thoſe men that want wives, how to chuſe them. Marriage is the tying of ſuch a knot, that nothing but death can unlooſe. Common reaſon ſuggeſts ſo much, that we ſhould be long a-doing that which can but once be done. Where one deſign hath been graveled ​in the ſands of delay, thouſands have been ſplit on the rock of precipitance. Raſh adventures yield little gain. Opportunities are not like tides, that when one is paſt, another returns. But yet take heed of flying without your wings: you may breed ſuch agues in your bones, that may ſhake you to your graves.
1. Let me preſerve you from a bad choice. 2. Preſent you with a good one.
To preſerve you from a bad choice, take that in three things 1. Chuſe not for beauty— 2 Chuſe not for dowry 3 Chuſe not for dignity. He that loves for beauty, buys a picture. He that loves for dowry, makes a purchaſe. He that loves for dignity, matches with a multitude at once. The firſt of theſe is too blind to be directed. The ſecond, too baſe to be accepted. The third, too bold to be reſpected.
1 Chuſe not by your eyes. 2. Chuſe not by your hands. 3. Chuſe not by your ears.
1. Chuſe not by your eyes, looking at the beauty of the perſon. Not but this is lovely in a woman: but that this is not all for which a woman ſhould be beloved. He that had the choice of many faces, ſtamps this character upon them all. "Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain." The ſun is more bright in a clear ſky, than when the horizon is clouded: but if a woman's fleſh hath more of beauty, than her ſpirit hath of Chriſtianity, it is like poiſon in ſweet-meats, moſt dangerous. Gen. vi. 2. "The ſons of God ſaw the daughters of men, that they were fair." One would have thought that they ſhould rather have looked ​for grace in the heart, than for beauty in the face: take care of inning at the faireſt ſigns; the ſwan hath black fleſh under her white feathers.
2. Chuſe not by your hands, for the bounty of the portion. When Cato's daughter was aſked, Why ſhe did not marry? She thus replied, She could not find the man that loved her perſon above her portion. Men love curious pictures, but they would have them ſet in golden frames. Some are ſo degenerate, as to think any good enough, who have but goods enough. Take heed, for ſometimes the bag and baggage go together. The perſon ſhould be a figure and the portion a cypher, which added to her, advances the ſum, but alone, ſignifies nothing. When Themiſtocles was to marry his daughter, two ſuitors courted her together, the one rich and a fool; the other wiſe, but poor: and being demanded which of the two he would rather his daughter ſhould have? He anſwered, "Mallem virum ſine pecuni, &c." I had rather ſhe ſhould have a man without money, than money without a man.
3. Chuſe not by your ears, for the dignity of her parentage. A good old ſtock may nouriſh a fruitleſs branch. There are many children who are not the bleſſings, but the blemiſhes of their parents; they are nobly deſcended, but ignobly minded: Such was Aureliuſ Antonious, of whom it was ſaid, that he injured his country in nothing, but being the father of ſuch a child. There are many low in their deſcents, that are high in their deſerts; ſuch as the cobler's ſon, who grew ​to be a famous captain; when a great perſon upbraided the meanneſs of his original, "My nobility, ſaith he, begins with me, but thy nobility ends with thee." Piety is a greater honour than parentage. She is the beſt gentle-woman that is heir of her own deſerts and not the degenerate offspring of another's virtue.—
To preſent you with a good choice in three things,
1. Chuſe ſuch a one as will be a ſubject to your dominion. Take heed of yoking yourſelves with untamed heifers.
2 Chuſe ſuch a one as will ſympathize with you in your affliction. Marriage is juſt like a ſea-voyage; he that enters into this ſhip, muſt look to meet with ſtorms and tempeſts, 1 Cor. vii. 20. "They that marry, shall have trouble in the flesh." Flesh and trouble are married together, whether we marry or no; now a bitter cup is too much to be drunk by one mouth. A heavy burden is eaſily carried by aſſiſtance of other shoulders. Huſband and wife should neither be proud flesh nor dead flesh You are fellow members, therefore should have a fellow-feeling. While one ſtands ſafe on the shore, the other should pity him that is toaſt on the ſea. Sympathy in ſuffering, is like a dry houſe in a wet day.
3. Chuſe ſuch a one as may be ſerviceable to your ſalvation. A man may think he hath a ſaint when he hath a devil; but take heed of a harlot that is falſe to thy bed; and of a hypocrite that is falſe to thy God.
2. To thoſe women who have huſbands, how to uſe them. In two things.
​ 1 Carry yourſelves towards them with obedience. Let their power command you, that their praiſe may commend you. Though you may have your husband's heart yet you should love his will. Till the husband leaves commanding, the wife muſt never leave obeying. As his injunctions muſt be lawful, ſo her ſubjection must be loyal.
2. With faithfulneſs. In creation, God made not one woman for many men, or many women for one man. Every wife should be to her husband, as Eve was to Adam, a whole world of women; and every husband should be to his wife, as Adam was to Eve, a whole world of men. When a river is divided into many channels, the main current ſtarves.
To conclude, Good ſervants are a great blesſing: good children a greater bleſſing: but a good wife is the greateſt: and ſuch a help let him ſeek for her that wants one, let him ſigh for her that hath loſt one, let him take pleaſure in her that enjoys one.
Where there is nothing but a picture of virtue, or a few shadowy qualities that may ſubſiſt without any real excellency, death will hide them for ever in the night of deſpair. The blackneſs of darkneſs will cloſe upon the naked and wandring ghoſt; whilſt its loathſome remains are conſigned to oblivion and putrefaction in the priſon of the grave, with the proſpect of a worſe doom hereafter. But where there is a living image of true goodneſs begun in this ſtate, death will deliver it with ​ſafety into the finiſhing hand of Eternity, to be produced with every mark of honour in the open view of heaven, where its now mortal partner reſcued froA the diſhonours of the duſt, and brightened into the greces of eternal youth, ſhall rejoin it in triumph, to ſuffer the pangs of ſeparation no more.
What a crown of joy will it confer on the preacher in that day, if this little ſervice ſhall be rewarded with the reflection of having contributed to the ſalvation or improvement of any of theſe young perſons whom he now addreſſes! If ever thine ear was open to my cry, hear me O Lord! hear me in their behalf. What cannot thy Spirit perform, perform by the weakeſt hand? May that Spirit ſeal them unto the day of redemption! At that glorious period, may I meet you all amongſt the redeemed of the Lord, happy to ſee you ſhining with immortal ſplendour, in the general aſſembly and church of the firſt-born! tranſported to think that I ſhall live with you for ever, and joining in the gratulations of your fellow-angels around the throne of God, when He ſhall, in the ſight of all, clothe you with the garment of ſalvation, and cover you with the robe of righteouſneſs, as a bride groom is decked with ornaments, and as a bride is adorned with her jewels. Amen.
FINIS
Falkirk——T. Johnston, Printer.
This work was published before January 1, 1929, and is in the public domain worldwide because the author died at least 100 years ago.
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