# The Chronicle of Clemendy/The Tankard Marshall's First Tale

THE QUEST OF THE DIAL AND THE VANE
HUMPHREY DE BOHUN, the High Constable, of whom we have heard somewhat before, once upon a time kept Eastertide with great pomp and ceremony, assembling in his hall as many ladies and knights as he could gather together and doing his best to entertain them merrily. Dim and dark personages, whom you and I know very well (for the genus doth remain immortal) shortly say that my lord and all his guests did eat, drink, laugh, dance, sing, and make love to a most scandalous extent; they say to be sure that each and every of the company at Caldicot enjoyed a great deal too much of all these pleasures. But we know well enough what this means, we understand, I believe, what kind of a world these sour fellows would make if they had the chance. First they would paint the blue sky black and the green trees white, all flowers should be dark brown, all meats loathsome, all sounds hideous, and all girls ugly. 'Tis a good thing, is it not, that these godly men are not yet quite strong enough for this; truly they do as much as they are able by making themselves as loathsome and hideous as is possible; but our precious world still laughs, whirls round, and keeps up the dance with the circling stars. And at Caldicot everybody from the Earl to the scullions did his best ​to keep pace with this mad and joyous melody and now at Eastertide when so great a company of fair and beauteous ladies and noble warriors were gathered together, some said the good old days had returned again and that they might look before long for King Arthur himself with all his host to return again. And Maistre Jehan Doucereutz the moral rhymer made a piece, richly rhymed, which he called "The Argument of the Dial and the Vane, or Constancy and Variety in Love." This he taught to two young ladies called Alicia and Avisa, and showed them how to stand and hold their figures, while they repeated it; and one evening when the serving men had borne in the tapers and lighted the lamps, this fine poem was recited before all, with so ravishing a grace and gestures so lovely that the High Constable's guests gazed silently at the young maids' lips without uttering a word. But when it was finished a great dispute arose as to the arguments and conclusions between the Dial and the Vane, for in his wisdom Maistre Jehan had left the matter doubtful, and none could determine which of the two he thought was best. Every lady and most of the young knights swore by the pheasant and the peacock that Variety in amours was treason to love; that no virtuous lady would listen to a gentleman that was variable, and that Constancy was one of love's sweetest graces. "What though our ladies slight us, and speak scornfully of us," said Sir Nicholas Kemeys, a young and high-flown gallant, "what though they frown upon us, and turn away when we look at them. Let us ​honour them yet more reverently and with a perfect worship bow down at their feet, holding but the sight of their beauty too great a reward for our poor service and adoration." Every lady in the hall lauded these words and some let their eyes rove slyly towards him, and thus the champion of Constancy was treated with Variety; as if to show us the way to get praise and pudding by one stroke. But the High Constable and the more experienced knights laughed at these fine Platonic sentiments and said there was nothing like Variety in everything and especially in love and my lord showed paradoxically and philosophically that before a gentleman can be constant he must first be variable; since constancy is bottomed on good judging and good judging on wide experience and many trials. "One must love," said he, "at least a dozen maids, every one of a different pattern and each one in a different manner, before one can be fixed at last; so the mariner shall sail over various floods and many waters ere he drop anchor in the still waters of his haven." So between ladies and knights the field was stricken, and now one and now another champion came forth to onset armed with pompous phrases and muddled arguments; but my lady Joan would say nothing alleging that she had always known my lord to be a reprobate; but she spoke with laughter, and was answered by him with certain gestures which made her laugh still more. Meanwhile the lettered men had listened and held their tongues, Maistre Jehan being mightily delighted at the good success of his piece and the enter​tainment it had made for all the noble folk; and presently he and Master Geoffrey Tudor the romancer were observed to put their heads together, as if they were concocting some good and joyous invention. And while somebody was saying, "We see the preëxcellence of the one over the other by the lively symbols wherein Maistre Jehan has set forth his parable; for the vane is ever gay and merry, still on the viretot, and always tells us something; whereas the dial has no story in the shadow, and is but a useless piece of brass while the vanes are clattering and swinging joyously"; Master Tudor stood up and prayed for the High Constable's ear, the which was readily granted him and all kept silence. "I would make an oration to you, my lord," said he, "for that my brother, Maistre Jehan Doucereutz and I, have, unless I am mistaken, concocted for your pleasure and the pleasure of fair ladies and the noble chivalry of Christendom, so choice an adventure and rare an emprise that I believe no deeds that are written in the Book of the Round Table nor in any writings of errantry shall be found worthy to be compared with it. And in fine our plan is this: namely, let each array in this gentle battle choose a champion, the most worthy and knightly that may be, and let them ride forth, the one in quest of Constancy and the other of Variety; and let the one bear the badge of a dial and the other the badge of a vane; so when their quest be done they shall return again to Caldicot and give us the history of whatsoever they have done or seen. I pray you my lord consider this, and advise ​with yourself and your knights whether it be not a rare design." But forthwith the High Constable smote the table with glee and swore by the Ships of the Air, by the Ways through the Mountains, by the Castles under the Sea, and by many other things, that this quest should be made, and he charged each side to choose a knight, and set Brother Benignus the German Monk to work on the two badges, the which were fashioned by the cunning artificer aforesaid in gold, curiously and choicely. And presently two champions were chosen; for Constancy was Sir Nicholas Kemeys by the suffrages of all the ladies, and for Variety Sir Dru de Braose, a knight full hardy and experienced in many affairs. Then vast cups passed round to the health of these noble champions; and the High Constable named Maistre Jehan and Master Geoffrey clerks of this high emprise to keep records and to write histories of all the fair deeds that should be done in the quest, so that it might never be forgotten but be written in the Rolls of the Court of Caldicot. But when the talk began to be of sleeping my lord commended to Sir Nicholas and to Sir Dru the ministrations of his fool Thomas, whom he affirmed to be a very comfortable person and able to give them weighty counsels as to the conduct of their adventure. And to Sir Nicholas Thomas said, amongst other foolish things "Above all beware of rope-ladders" the which words he pronounced with such a knowing smile that the Champion of the Dial suspected there was something besides folly in them. But the fool's counsel to Sir Dru was ​"Have nothing to do with anyone driving nine black hogs, for they will lead you to the devil." And after wishing both knights plenty of folly, wantonness, trickery, queer sights, broken sounds, and odd odours on their quest, the very precious and jocular Thomas withdrew himself chuckling hugely; and so all slept hard without rolling. But on the morrow, when they had dined, the two knights began to arm, the two girls Alicia and Avisa helping them and binding on their badges to the delight of all the company. And when they had bidden farewell to the High Constable the knights mounted their horses and rode forth from the grand gateway, the trumpets sounding for them, and all the walks along the battlements and the high galleries being thronged with ladies, and with knights who waved scarves and shouted good luck as their warriors pricked across the meadows. And the Champion of the Dial and the Champion of the Vane were last seen riding together by the limits of a great wood of beeches; when one turned to the right and the other to the left and so rode out of sight.
Thus the knights errant started on their quest; to ride far and wide by land and sea in search of Constancy and Variety, and often they were spoken of at Caldicot of evenings, all longing for their return and to hear the tale of their adventures. Once after they had departed six months and more a man came with a wild story to the intent that he had seen both of them together at Abergavenny but, though he affirmed he knew well the faces ​of Sir Nicholas and Sir Dru, he was considered to lie; since they were certainly very far away, and most like, in the lands beyond the seas. But the two Clerks, who had been appointed by their lord scriveners and prothonotaries in this behalf had each a mighty quill cut broadly, and two fair skins of vellum, the one of which bore atop the limning of a dial and the words "The History of the Quest of Constancy"; and the other the limning of a vane and the words "The History of the Quest of Variety." So summer and harvest-time and Michaelmas did pass by and Christmas came bringing high revel; but the knights came not. And the snow lay deep in Wentwood as January came in; in February the rain fell down, all through the month, and March brought winds, merchandise of Moscovy; while the High Constable and his house waited for the return of the two champions. But when Eastertide was come and the hall triumphed with banqueting and mirth as it had done a year ago; the watchman above the gate called out that he saw a knight riding toward the Castle at about a mile's distance and my lord when he heard of it said "'Tis one of them returned with his story," and so all the company went up to the high alures along the southern wall and watched the knight as he rode along. What chattering and dispute arose as to which of the two it were, or whether it were either of them, I need not tell you; but presently Mistress Alicia cried out "'Tis our true knight Sir Nicholas, I know his bearing and the paces of his horse," and she was indeed in the ​right. Then the High Constable bade his trumpeters sound a welcome on their clarions to this mirror of chivalry, and the guard were set all in order clothed in mail, and the portcullis men and the drawbridge men stood by their chains lest the gallant knight after many perils and hazards should end by falling into a pit. So as the trumpets pealed forth their close the bridge fell down, and bowing low to his lord above the gate Sir Nicholas was received once more within the bailey of Caldicot. First, as was right, the maids disarmed him and bore basins of fair water, and ungents and odours, and clothed him in a surcoat fit for the King's Majesty and tenderly handled him; for they saw Sir Nicholas was pale and thin and judged him to have gone through divers sore dangers in their behalf. Then (as if he had been a boar's head or peacock) he was brought into the hall in a pomp, to wit by the steward, the castellan, and the sergeant-marshal, with a music of pipes and vyalls and sweet singing, and the fool Thomas walked behind for his reward; and so was set at the Earl's right-hand, and feasted with the most delicate and opiparous fare and the most curious wines imaginable; for the High Constable noted that Sir Nicholas seemed all the while like a man in his twy-senses, between the call and the awakening. Scarce a word moreover, came from his lips, but he knit his brows, tapped his skull, and was heard once or twice to mutter "Surely I am myself and this is the hall of Caldicot in Netherwent, and my lord Humphrey sits beside me." They that heard ​these conjectures concluded therefrom that the poor gentleman's head was dazed and somewhat muddled, but we must not say hard things of them on this account, because, you know, they lived a long while ago and were ignorant of true science. But in our days if a man desire to make a noise in the world, and to be accounted a philosopher whose thoughts are deep down below the form and nature of things, he has only to write his Meditations or Considerations declaring in quaint and quidditative terms how uncertain it is whether "I" is "I". And all this is quite right, but to each age pertain its own perfections. But my lord, the ladies and the knights waited anxiously for Sir Nicholas his lips to open to better purpose; and had good hopes of hearing a fine history when the Knight of the Dial had drunk his wits back again. At last my lady Joan could wait no longer, but cried "Sir Nicholas, Sir Nicholas begin your tale, or else it will be cock-crow before you are half-way through." "It shall be so," answered he, "I will tell all and would have begun before were not my adventures so wonderful as to be almost beyond belief; but now since you bid me, I will omit nothing." Then the company about the board was hushed to silence, and the fool closed one eye, while the chins of Maistre Jehan and Master Geoffrey sought their hands, since it was their function to chronicle what was to come. Then Sir Nicholas Kemeys, the Knight of the Dial began his relation of
THE QUEST OF CONSTANCY.
Speaking for some tway turnings of the horloge in a voice of grave sweetness that drew all eyes intent upon him. In this history he told them how he had lost his way in a vast forest, where he was beset by the folk of Færie, who played him a thousand tricks and bewildered his sight and mind and all his rational faculties with their enchantments, showing him the sweet unearthly bodies of ladies lying asleep beneath the trees, and sending dwarfs to waylay him and draw him aside from his track. Nevertheless through all these magic meshes he won through, and at last reached a flat land on the summit of a mountain, where he found the people celebrating the Festival of Wine Skins, with songs and music and interludes and many pleasant diversions, but there was nothing like Constancy to be met with among them in love or in anything else. Thence Sir Nicholas went down to the valley beyond, and saw in the midst thereof a great city on a hill, having a spire rising from it of incredible height that seemed to sway to and fro from star to star. And the hill whereon the city stood was so steep that no horse nor mule might mount it, and the only way for a man to ascend was by way of four stout and well-set ladders, made of ropes, one on each side of the city. "So," said the Knight, "I was ​forced to leave my horse below while I mounted upwards, till I had laid my foot on two thousand steps, and stood before the northern gate; and blew my horn before the drawbridge that I might have entrance. The which without question or delay was granted me, and I came through a broad and sunny street, planted with trees and established with high-built houses, to the market place before the great spire, and here the people bought and sold, and played at tables and flew enormous kites shaped in the similitude of dragons and birds of ravine, and monstrous creatures: and on a high seat sat the king of that city clothed in blood-red vestments, holding a golden rod; and there was his court before him. To the king himself I showed my quest, and told him all my desire; and when I had finished he answered: 'You could have chosen no better place, Sir Knight, than my fair town of Ladders; for we have here an example of splendid constancy, and this you shall see presently.' Then he called ten men-at-arms, and whispered apart to their captain, who beckoned me to follow him. This did I, and we went out of the square down a narrow alley, till we came to a door-way and this being opened showed a winding stair rising from it. But I would not go up as the captain asked me, for I had had enough of mounting; whereupon he and his soldiers fell on me all at once and grasped my head and throat and body and arms and legs so that I could not stir; then one bound my hands and 'climb' they said and I had no choice for the spears of that city have sharp points. And when I ​had gone round and round up that stair, so that my limbs sunk from under me, and my senses were confounded, I became like one who walks in his sleep and could count the steps no more; but before this I had surmounted five thousand of them. At last we came to a door in the wall, and here they unbound my hands and unlocked the door and bade me go in and gaze as long as I would above or below it mattered not which, for either way there was constancy and plenty of it 'Since most gallant knight errant and mirror of chivalry, if you look over your shoulder you will have a close view of a special vane of beaten brass, the which follows the wind whithersoever it leadeth it, and this it does in all weathers, by day or night. But if you yourself are not over constant, and like change, you have but to look down on our square, when you will see us all constant in constantly taking our pleasure; only go not too near the ledge of your habitacle, since a mile through the air is a long fall.'" Here Sir Nicholas groaned deeply and went on to explain that he found himself in a little cell or habitacle made some ten feet under the capstone of that spire he had seen from afar, and, as he judges, full a mile from solid earth. And all the company groaned and cried 'las!' and called on the dear saints, hearing of such a fearful adventure; and some of the girls fancied they were falling from that tremendous height, but in fact they were deceived since most of them were borne up by an arm in need ere they had gone back three inches. "And there indeed for many days and ​nights also (so said Sir Nicholas) have I seen the mighty vane of shining brass in the image of a most foul and malicious dragon, swinging to and fro above my head and screaming as it went, like a woman in her agony; but my greatest terror was the swaying of the spire the which seemed to be in sempiternal motion and rocked continually as a tree upon the mountains. As for looking beneath I durst not do it, for I feared that I should instantly fall down and doubted whether they would pick me up alive after such a tumble. And my food no man brought to me; but just after sunrise and sunset, I would hear a noise like wings beating the air; and opposite to my habitacle there would flutter a great kite, having fastened to it a flask of wine, a little meat, and a loaf of bread, all of which were good enough the wine indeed being of Catholic and Christian quiddity. And with a hook on a spear shaft I would draw the kite to me and take my victual and then let go again; so I lived in this place for better than nine months." Herewith the Knight of the Vane came to a full stop, and only by slow degrees was the history of his escape drawn from him by the Countess and the fair ladies. And the Chronicle indited by the skilful hand of Maistre Jehan Doucereutz proceeds to relate how Sir Nicholas grew desperate on the lofty spire and how one evening when the great kite drew near to him, it being made like a bird of prey with mighty flapping wings, he took not his provision from it nor let it go, as he was used, but leapt upon it floating in the air and cut the cord that held it with his ​dagger. "Then with a great shout of the people ringing up into mine ears, in place of falling to the earth, I floated away, being carried far above their heads by a fair breeze, and soon was beyond that hateful ladder city. And now for six days and nights I was borne amidst the clouds over deep woods and mountain tops, and lakes, pinnacled castles, and walled cities, and they that looked up and saw me were in terror, thinking, as I suppose, some fearful monster was about to waste their land. Now the wind lifted me high towards the heavens, where I looked upon the stars and saw clouds rolling beneath me, like the billows of the sea; and now I swam the air but a little distance above the earth, and have thus passed over dreaming towns, and armies in array, and have gazed on the wandering miz-maze of the world. Sometimes have I flown swiftly before a tempest, and heard the wind rush by as an onset of battle; and have passed unstricken amid the flame of rapid lightnings and the roaring of the thunder; and anon the air hath been still and peaceful and (I think) filled with the chiming of many bells from the churches and snatches of organ musick; or else my brain was sick and imagined to itself these harmonies. But on the morning of the seventh day, as I hung over a great forest, stretching far and wide to the limit of my vision, I felt that the bird was slowly sinking downwards, and was glad, for I was sorely in need of food and of drink. To be short it descended on to an oak, and I making haste to set my feet amid the boughs, let it go for an instant; ​and thus it is that I can show you no proof of my story; for the kite was seized by a sudden breeze and rose aloft into the air till it was but a speck against the blue, and afterwards I have not seen it. And lo! beneath the tree was my horse that I had left behind when I climbed up into Ladder Town; and how this happened is beyond my wit, neither can I get to the bottom of it at all. Then rode I away, and for three months have I journeyed through wild lands, foreign peoples, many perils, and much misery; but the vane on the spire of the accursed city is the only constant creature that I have beheld in this my quest."
No sooner had Sir Nicholas brought this stupendous history to a close than the blast of a horn, blown long and loud, assailed the ears of the High Constable and his company, who marvelled so at this circumstance that they forgot to marvel at the story. "Go, Thomas," said my lord to the fool, "go quickly and see who it is that is without so late; since a fool is best to open to one that comes on a fool's errand." "Truly I think I am the right man for this occasion," answered the precious Thomas, who kept one eye still closed, so that they said "He is, in fact, a great fool," and that is how the phrase originated. Remember this when you speak of your friends behind their backs, and forget not to feel thankful to the witty lords and ladies who have furnished you with this expression of true friendship. But Thomas went forth, while the horn still rang through the towers, along the alures, and into ​the hall; and ere long returned leading with him no less a personage than Sir Dru de Braose, who looked hearty and well, and had not so warm a welcome from the ladies as Sir Nicholas; both because he was on the wrong side in the quarrel, and because he seemed in full possession of his mental faculties. But then he had fewer of these to take care of than the Knight of the Dial, and so kept what he had in better order. But the Earl took care of him and saw that the jovial knight was duly stuffed with good things, and his throat well swilled with wine; and all expected to hear from him a history of pleasant and amorous adventures and some rather juicy tales, the ladies prepared to blush, as it is proper for ladies to do on such an occasion. Some of the prettiest of them were blushing already, but these were mere private and peculiar blushes, not connected with the public business of necessities. But it appeared when Sir Dru began the story of the
QUEST OF VARIETY
that he had had almost as rough a time of it as Sir Nicholas himself; but to be sure he spoke at much shorter length and appeared now and then to stop short and knit his brow as if he had forgotten what had next befallen him. And thus he began: "After that I had parted from my companion I rode onward over the level many miles till I came to a stream with high banks of yellow mud, and no bridge was to be seen, whereby I might have passed over. But presently I beheld a large boat moored to a post on the bank, and into this boat I and my horse descended. But as I would have steered it over to the other side the wind rose suddenly and caught the sails and the force of the water took the boat and drove it violently down the brook till we came into the open sea. And here again, as I strove to guide my vessel the rudder broke in pieces, and the might of wind and wave growing in violence urged us onward, and the air grew dark with the storm, so that I gave myself up for lost, and thought each moment to be overwhelmed amidst the high billows. And for three days and three nights the tempest continued; and all the while we lay in thick darkness as if it had been a continual night, so that at last I fell asleep from hunger and weariness and slept, as I believe, for many hours. For when I woke ​no clouds were on the sky and no longer in mid ocean, the boat slowly sailed along the shore of a deep bay in still water; but out at sea I saw all the waves ridged with white foam because of the storm that was overpast. And seeing the water was shallow, I made shift with my lance to guide the boat aground and mounted my horse once more and set forth through a narrow valley that I might discover to what manner of country I had come." Here Sir Dru paused and laid his finger for a minute to his skull; and then began to speak of his inland journey; of green lawns, brooks of sweet water, delicious fruits, sweet singing of birds, and many other pleasant circumstances such as sailors conceive in a calenture; but which are neither new nor over pertinent to the story. "And before I had ridden for an hour," said he, "I overtook an old hideous woman who drove before her nine black hogs, very monstrous and fierce to behold, having tusks like to wild boars' tusks and the grunting of them was like the noise of a fierce lion. The old woman I addressed and asked her if there were no lord in the country that showed hospitality to wandering knights and refreshed them after they had undergone great peril and distress. 'Truly,' she made answer, 'most hardy and gallant knight, you have but to follow me, and I will take you to a very great lord, who loves nothing better than to entertain strangers and weary men, notably if they be mighty warriors of gentle birth as you are. And to his castle I am now driving these nine hogs that have of late had pannage in the woods hard ​by the sea.' Thus the old woman with the swine led me through a fair open country till we came to a high wall of stone around a castle, having towers and alures and a strong gate house, even as this castle of Caldicot. At this gate house the old woman bade me wait while she drove her hogs round by the postern, and in a little while the drawbridge fell down, and the lord of the castle came forth to meet me, a grave and comely man with blue eyes and a long white beard. And he took me by the hand and led me in, calling me brother and bidding me command him and all his men to do whatsoever I would. 'Many a year gone by,' said he, 'a gallant knight like you came here in search of adventures, and so fertile a land did he find it that he never returned to his country, but died here; and he too was of Gwent.' With these words we came to the banqueting house, lofty and magnificent, and in a gallery was a quire that sang and played every manner of instrument while the company were at meat. Then mine host made me sit beside him at the high table, whereat sat also his nine daughters, such girls as it does a man's eyes good to gaze upon for one of them would turn an abbey upside down. And at the board below was as brave a sort of ladies and of knights as I ever desire to see, all gallant and gay, and dressed in splendid robes of velvet and silk and golden stuff, enriched with jewells beyond all price. Let me say nothing of the feast or of the wine that graced it, for neither surely did come from any earthly cook or perishable vineyard, but were rather ​drawn down from Olympus Hill on the Marches of Greece; being altogether most delicious and wondrously tasty on the tongue. And before I had rinsed my mouth with many cups of these celestial juices, my eyes began to wander over the nine maidens, and soon met with an answer from the eyes of one of them, joined to sly smiles and downcast looks that, to speak the truth made me desirous of knowing more of her. Ladies, I crave your pardon, but I tell you this girl's lips were mighty red. But when we had finished feasting, and I had informed my host how I had wandered away from Gwent in the quest of Variety, curtains fell over the windows and the hall was suddenly darkened; but only for a moment; and I heard a sound of most strange palpitating music that swelled and died away and rose again; then were the doors thrown open, and two tall men entered carrying great tapers of wax aloft; and after them the minstrels, and then fifty more men bearing tapers, and these stood around the hall. So the music that had entered went up to the high table and played there; they that were in the gallery answering them, and the ladies and the knights began to tread a dance, weaving and unweaving perplex'd figures continually. But seeing the girl I had marked out still sitting I drew near to her, and endeavoured as courteously as I could to entertain her with such polished phrases and gentle discourse as my wit supplied. And to speak the truth she was not backward, her eyes consumed my soul and her voice thrilled through me as we talked and we ​told one another old flaming tales of passionate lovers, how that fire of love had burnt to the ground many noble houses, and had brought to desolation lordships, and dominions and mighty kingdoms, as it was with Queen Guinevere and Sir Lancelot du Lac. And in some way or other, as we were rehearsing these fair conclusions, I found her hand in mind, but I profess I know not how it got there; yet 'twas not at all unpleasant, and I had an inclination to prolong our discourse. But as we were debating some knotty point in gallantry my girl said to me 'surely, fair sir, we could solve these intricate questions better in quietness by ourselves; come then, follow me and I will lead you to a fit school, but we will have no præses, for there is no need for one.' And I made no scruple at all to follow Madam Enantha (this was her name) out of the noise of music, and dancing and laughter; and she went before me through a side door, along a passage, and up a stairway till we stood together on the alures. Then what with the moonlight that shone through the open casements, the faint sound of the lutes and vyalls, and the strangeness of the adventure my head became confused for some while; but when I awoke I found Enantha's arms about my neck and her lips set fast on mine, indeed she was a nice girl and seemed mighty affectionate. Then we paced along the alures till we came to a tower, and whilst we delighted ourselves there with warm caresses, a voice that turned my heart to ice sounded (as it appeared) from close beside us. 'Now farewell (it said) most cour​teous and loving knight, descend without steps and at dawning look on the dial, and find there in the ever shifting shadow the true exemplar of variety.' But before mine host, (for I know it was none other) had finished this strange speech the floor beneath me began to sink and I passed from the arms of my mistress down through the tower into darkness till I was at the bottom of this secret shaft, far below the earth. Here I might beat the walls and cry out and none hindered me; and all through the night I raved like one written in the Books of the Moon even till the dawning came and one long ray came into that foul and loathsome pit lighting upon a dial set in the midst. And this place was so contrived with squint holes fashioned through the walls, that all the day the sunshine fell upon the dial and marked the hour, and by its brightness made my prison-house yet more noisome and abhorred. What food I had was flung down to me from above, but I saw no face and heard no spoken words throughout all the time I was thus clapped up, namely for nine months, more or less. And there doubtless I had died wretchedly, save that one day in my frenzy I cast mine arms about the pillar on which the dial stood and pulled with all my might striving to uproot it. And after many a grievous tug, in the strength of my madness, what I endeavoured I at last effected, and the pillar yielded and fell to one side, bringing with it the floor around in a circle of a cubit's diameter. And the beam of sunlight shining on this place showed me a steep flight of steps, and be​yond an odd glistening of some other brightness. My way it seems is lower still, said I to myself, and as quickly as I could I ran down the stairs and found myself in a passage lined with smooth mirrors of steel, and illuminated by small lamps hanging from the roof at equal distance apart. From these lamps came pleasant odours, as they burnt, but I stayed not to examine anything, rather coursing along for my life, for I feared there had been a watch set on me in my dungeon, though I knew not of it. And when I had run three or four miles, and was nearly breathless, the lamps ceased, and I was in darkness, and the track grew rough and stony, and the walls when I felt them were of hewn rock. Then the way widened, and my feet trod over sand, till I saw once more the light of heaven, that I had not beheld except on that cursed dial for many a weary week. To be short I came out by a cave on the sea shore, and had not far to go before I found my boat lying just as I had left it above the wash of the tide. I need not say how swift I was to embark and sail away with a blessed wind from those shores, nor how by land and sea I have returned to Gwent once more, since I have devised for you all the matter pertinent to this my quest of variety."
Herewith Sir Dru's tongue ceased from wagging and Master Geoffrey's pen from flickering; and none knew what to say, for it seemed as if the Argument of the Dial and the Vane had not been concluded by the knightly quests; but rather mixed, muddled, confounded, obscured, ​dedalised, and entangled to an intolerable extent. Then by the High Constable's solemn decree this great question was adjourned, prorogued, and continued to next Easter; and they all went to bed hoping that the morrow would be a warm and shiny day. But both the histories were curiously engrossed by the lettered men and laid up amongst the records of the Castle for the admiration of the after-ages. But it was discovered a short while afterwards that in neither of them was there one jot or tittle of the truth, since they both proceeded from the fertile brain of Sir Nicholas Kemeys, who had taken the hints of that great fool Thomas in the management of his fables. And in fact the two knights errant had been enjoying themselves all the time at Abergavenny, revelling, feasting, and making love to their hearts' content; drinking the strongest men under the table and hiding in aumbries and in dark corners till the town was too hot to hold them. And when my lord Humphrey had the real truth of this affair carried to him, so well-pleased was he with the ingenious and finely conceited lying of Sir Nicholas and Sir Dru that he gave to each of them a fat manor in his lordship of Netherwent, and would have them always in presence at Caldicot till he died.
Thus I brought my relation to a close; and it was then found to be time for sleeping, so that no man laid his thumbnail on what I had said, unless he did it in his dreams.