# Women Under Polygamy/Chapter 27

CHAPTER XXVII
CHINESE MARRIAGE AND POLYGYNY
In primitive times sexual promiscuity seems to have been widely existent in China until one of the Emperors enjoined legal marriage. Children took the names of their mothers. Freedom in the choice of a husband was apparently general, and to-day such power of selection on the part of daughters exists among the aboriginal tribes. In modern days the son is directed in his choice of a wife by the father, who is the despotic head of the family. No son can refuse the wife proposed for him by the parent.
As a result of this custom, "in many cases the betrothed couple scarcely know each other before marriage, the wedding being the first occasion on which the man catches a glimpse of his wife's face." Not only do the fathers exercise this unlimited authority in the matrimonial affairs of sons. After the decease of the father, a son's marriage is arranged by his elder relations. He is never a free agent in the selection of a bride.
​Celibacy is very rare, and the majority of the population marry about the age of puberty. The necessity for marriage is taught, and the single life is held to be contrary to nature and almost a sin. Marriages are arranged by purchase; the father of the bridegroom gives a sum of money to the bride's parents. This amount is not described as purchase money, but as a "gift," which is evidence that the selling of daughters in wedlock is becoming repugnant to the upper class Chinamen.
Polygyny is the practice of the wealthy; the majority of the Chinese are monogamous. The labouring men seldom have more than one woman. Only one wife is allowed by law, but apparently there is no restriction to the number of mistresses. The concubine is in every sense the subordinate of the legal wife. If the concubine resides in the house of her owner, her children are considered legitimate, and must be provided for by the father.
Chinese chastity is restricted practically to women. There are stringent regulations for the preservation of sexual purity, such as that forbidding the clothes of men and women to hang from the same peg.
Divorce is readily granted to men who are dissatisfied with their wives, and the grounds are in some cases quite trivial. Nevertheless, divorce is not common. The divorced woman loses caste in the community, and ​often sinks into degradation. The law does not entirely neglect woman in the matter of divorce; for if a wife finds that it is impossible to live peacefully with her husband, she may obtain a separation with his consent.
The Chinese conception of love differs from the ideal of the Western people, and from that of India. Women are sought and admired for their physical attractions and their domestic qualifications. That is, perhaps, as much as can be said. Male jealousy and the sense of ownership is very strong in China, and women labour under rigorous social restraints. They may show their features, but they must not display their distorted feet. The ideal of the home is patriarchal—the father rules with an uncontested authority.
Oliver Goldsmith, who was a diligent investigator of Oriental manners and customs, seems to have closely studied the Chinese. In "The Citizen of the World" the learned Chinaman discourses frequently upon the position of his countrywomen, and compares it with the status of Englishwomen. He maintains that love is only understood in China.
"Let us only consider with what ease it was formerly extinguished in Rome, and with what difficulty it was lately revived in Europe; it seemed to stop for ages, and at last fought its way among us, through tilts, tournaments, dragons, and all the dreams ​of chivalry. The rest of the world, China only excepted, are, and have ever been, utter strangers to its delights and advantages."
Recognising that a Chinese lover is compelled to accept the bride discovered for him by his father, it is rather difficult to credit the assertion that I have italicised in the foregoing passage. Love, like morality, is determined by climate and racial temperament. The Chinese ideal of conjugality would repel a Western woman, and our standard would have the same effect upon a woman of China.
A young English beau, conversing with Goldsmith's philosophic Chinaman, says that "the Asiatic beauties are the most convenient women alive, for they have no souls; positively there is nothing in nature I should like so much as ladies without souls; soul here is the utter ruin of half the sex."
Such flippant pronouncements often contain some elements of sound truth. English women have tended to exalt unduly the "spiritual" quality of their love, and have too often essayed to refine away the substance. A Chinese woman would not appreciate the ethereal, sentimental attitude towards the passion of the sexes. Yet she would understand the art of retaining her husband's affection and rendering wedded life peaceful.
The Chinese sage corrects the young Englishman. ​He insists that the Oriental idea of women is much higher than his friend has been led to believe. "With respect to soul," he says, "the Asiatics are much kinder to the fair sex than you imagine: instead of one soul, Fohi, the idol of China, gives every woman three; the Brahmins give them fifteen; and even Mahomet himself nowhere excludes the sex from Paradise. Abulfeda reports that an old woman one day importuning him to know what she ought to do in order to gain Paradise—'My good lady.' answered the Prophet, 'old women never get there.' 'What! never get to Paradise?' returned the matron, in a fury. 'Never,' says he, 'for they always grow young by the way.' Now, sir," continued I, "the men of Asia behave with more deference to the sex than you seem to imagine."
The women of China are taller than their Japanese neighbours. Their skin is sallow and but little pigmented. The cheekbones are high; the nose broad and rather flat. A great point of beauty is the eye. The lips should be thin and the ears large. The outer corners of the eyes must droop, giving the eye-aperture a crooked appearance. From infancy the feet are cramped by the use of tight bandages, and the feet of women are scarcely bigger than those of little children. The deformed foot gives an awkward gait, but this is admired in China. Nature has given Chinese women ​small feet, but they are not satisfied unless the feet are diminutive.
Unlike most Asiatic people, the Chinese have no taste for dancing. They regard the amusement as absurd, and refuse to recognise dancing as one of the arts. Music is cultivated. The people recognise the moral value of music, and its strong appeal to human emotions was set forth in the writings of Confucius.
The kiss, which plays such an important part in Western love-making, is an elaborate ritual among the Chinese, who, however, regard our kissing habits as "odious, suggesting voracious cannibals." In China the lips are not applied to the face of the beloved person, but the nose instead, and the breath is drawn through the nostrils. Kissing is not practised in Japan.
A CHINESE BEAUTY, WITH MAID ATTENDING.
The position of the women of China may be described as one of complete subjection to masculine domination. In this typical patriarchal society woman has little or no personal liberty. The daughter is considered a very inferior being to the son. In the most important affair in her whole existence, a Chinese woman is at the behest of her male kindred. Often her marriage is arranged while she is an infant. "The bride," says a Chinese author, "ought only to be a shadow and an echo in the house." The married woman eats neither with her husband nor with her male children; she waits at table in silence, lights the pipes, must be content with the coarsest food, and has not even the right to touch what her son leaves."
There is, however, some clemency regarding the offence of infidelity in China. The law in this matter is not so severe as that of the Koran, though, as we have seen, it is difficult to prove adultery in Moslem countries. A guilty Chinese woman can be dismissed by her husband, or sold by him.
A practice resembling the Hindu Sati survives in China. It is an honourable deed for a widow to com​mit suicide, especially if she has no family. This act of self-immolation has been performed in public.
China is the land of fathers. The desire for male offspring is intense, and this desire no doubt gave rise to the concubinate. If the wife bore only daughters, or was sterile, the husband felt impelled to take another woman, a "lesser wife," in the hope that she would bear a son.
This preference for male children, which is of the very essence of the paternal family, seems to militate always and everywhere against the condition of women in the community or the race. China is polygamous chiefly because it is patriarchal, and only in a secondary sense is plurality in mates attributable to men's love of variety and the force of passion.
There are, however, a few signs that point to a lessening of masculine despotism. Young Chinese men come to England to study for the professions. The influence of the West infects them. I have met Chinese students, with the British "university manner" and intonation in speech, who, except for their features, might be taken for English undergraduates. These young men are the nucleus of a New China group. They are well-cultured and have progressive ideals, and the feminist movement in Europe causes them to reflect on the position of the women of China.
​The question of the education of women, for so long almost unknown in China, is now receiving considerable attention. In a book, lately published, entitled "The Face of China," the author, Mr. E. G. Kemp, says that new schools for girls are being built in many districts, and not only in the cities, but in the villages. There is a scarcity of competent teachers, but the importance of educating girls is now very clearly recognised.
Education is compulsory for both sexes in the Chinese Empire. The public schools are under the control of the State. Remarkable progress is reported among the female pupils, who are innately intelligent and apt to learn. In the village schools the girls are taught reading, writing, and arithmetic, singing, physical exercises, and sewing.
* ↑ Westermarck, Op. cit.
* ↑ Westermarck, Ibid.
* ↑ Havelock Ellis, "Sexual Selection in Man."
* ↑ Quoted by Letourneau from Hue's "Empire Chinois."