# Mr. Bunt/Act 1

​ACT I SCENE 1 THE COTTAGE IN THE WOODS
It is night. The little cottage which stands on the right of the stage is hidden among the dark trees. A light in the window, however, cuts a solitary orange square in the soft blue night. From the deep shadows comes the throbbing song of the crickets.
Prelude. A little boy in night clothes appears at the win dow and presses his face against the pane in a vain en deavor to look out into the night. The throbbing of the crickets grows louder. It is taken up by the wood and the voice of a man is heard singing afar off. The boy yawns and slowly leaves the window. The stage is empty. The song draws nearer and the somber figure of a man enters, carrying a heavy sack, from the corners of which pour tiny grains of sandas he slowly passes on his way, singing.
Music: Sandman's Song. As he passes the cottage the light in the win dow fades out. The moonlight grows brighter and the cottage is now clearly outlined. The Sandman and his dreamy song are lost in the distance. ​MR . BUNT
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music stops for a moment; again the stage is empty. Music:
The Fairies.
Now from all parts of the wood the little fairies enter. Delicately, rhythmically, they form a circle about the house and dance in the moonlight. The rattle of milk cans is heard and the music ceases.
The fairies fly as a heavy-set milkman, with a flash light, enters and leaves a bottle of milk by the doorstep. Exit milkman . Dawn comes and the cottage is now seen in
the early sunlight. It is a quaint, toylike house with a chimney and a peaked roof, the sides of which sag a little. A window in the second story looks out on
a little balcony. Below it is a green door. On one side of it a very large rain pipe descends at various angles and ends on the ground with a spout two feet in diameter, that looks at the audience inquiringly.
SCENE 2
The door of the cottage opens and the figure of a
little girl in a yellow gingham dress, with a shawl over her head, appears. She goes over and picks up the bottle of milk.
As she returns the door swings shut;
finding it is latched she calls loudly for Mummy.
After a moment the window above opens and aa rather frail but sweet-faced woman appears.
She leans
7 ​MR . BUNT
15
over the balcony and on catching sight of the little girl calls down quietly : All right, Annie. And disappears. We hear the latch being drawn and the little girl lets herself in. In the meantime the head of a small boy has appeared at the same window where the lady disap
peared. You see there are so many things happen ing that you have to watch carefully so as not to miss anything. At any rate the head of the small boy appears above the window sill and it is followed at once by two little hands and the sole of his shoe.
Having gotten , in other words, a good grip on the house, he hoists himself out onto the balcony. Once outside he collects himself and, hanging
over the rail, makes a long and rather thoughtful spit to the pavement below. He is evidently waiting to collect more mater. ial when the voice of the lady is heard calling: Dabs.
At which the youthful gentleman remarks belligerently: I don't want no more rotten oatmeal.
Now , this was rather a horrid thing for Dabs to say, and he ought to be spanked for saying it ; but you see, when he climbed out of the window into the play, I saw at once he was a real little boy and, like
all real children, didn't think about other people's feelings - except when spanked. And this little boy was built very healthy and ​finished with a place expressly designed for spanking, that would make him understand about other people's feelings. For, as I say, nice healthy children only think about themselves, and have to be spanked and taught.
Just as when they grow up, kind Mother Earth begins the spanking just where their own mother left off, until they reach the point where they finally learn to continue to think only of themselves, but in terms of other people, which is far from being selfish, and is the only way to live happily and make other people happy, no matter what your mother says.
But to go back to Dabsmand his horrid remark about the oatmeal-who stands waiting thoughtfully on the balcony, while Annie, the little girl who was seen going into the house, now appears at the window and the lady inside is saying: Annie, where does he get those awful words?
ANNIE
To Dabs.
Donald Reber! You come in here right away and get your mouth washed out with soap!
At which Dabs remarks, without animosity: Get your own mouth washed out.
ANNIE
The idea of you talking like that!
Turning. Mummy, he just says everything he hears in the streets. ​MR . BUNT
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DABS
It's better'n making things up the way you do.
ANNIE
What did I make up?
DABS
Oh, lots er things about fairies, that ain't got any sense.
ANNIE
That's because you don't understand.
DABS
Oh, I understand, all right, all right, all right!
ANNIE
You do nothing of the kind ; besides, you come in now and get your milk.
DABS
How do you know it ain't sour?
ANNIE
Because we tasted it.
DABS
How did it taste?
ANNIE
It tasted sweet and cold.
DABS
Thoughtfully.
Lightnin' bugs kin turn milk sour-same lightnin'-
ROSE
Appearing at the window.
Children, come and finish your breakfast. It's ​18
MR . BUNT
time for me to go . Annie, won't you bring Dabs in and make him eat his oatmeal ? ANNIE
Can we have it outside, Mummy? ROSE
Why, yes, if you are careful. Annie, please look after Dabs.
I'm late and I've got to hurry. ANNIE
Oh, Mummy, I hate to have you go . ROSE
Don't, Annie, you'll make me late. ANNIE
But, Mummy, it's lonely. ROSE
I know, Annie, but remember all the things you
have to do. And if you do them nicely, I'll read you some more about the fairy that came back. ANNIE
They do come back , don't they, Mummy ? ROSE
Of course , if you remember them. Good -bye, dear - good -bye, Dabs. She kisses both the children and disappears. Annie now climbs out on the balcony and joins Dabs, and together they hang over the railing, when the door below opens and lets Rose 01 :t into the garden . She looks up and ​MR . BUNT
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waves quickly to the children, who stand and watch her till she is out of sight. SCENE 3 ANNIE
Turning to Dabs. Now, if you are good and eat your breakfast, I'll
let you play with me until Mummy comes home. DABS
Can I have it out here ? ANNIE
If you promise not to throw it on anyone. Dabs, after promising reluctantly, climbs in the window , while Annie, being left alone, gets out a packing box in which she keeps
her complete repertoire of dolls and arranges them for the day. DABS
Appearing at the window . Where is the maple sugar ? ANNIE
Mummy put it on your oatmeal. DABS
She must er forgot it. ANNIE
She didn't. I saw her put it on before she went out.
DABS
Aw , Annie, I kin hardly taste it. ​MR . BUNT
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ANNIE
Well, it's all you're going to get, so you might as well bring it out here and eat it.
Dabs having been disposed of, Annie returns to her dolls. The rag doll, appearing uneasy , has to be sung to sleep. ANNIE
Singing.
Bye baby Bunting,
Dada's gone a-hunting, To get a little rabbit skin
To wrap the baby Bunting in. Bye baby Bunting,
Dada's gone a -hunting DABS
Appearing at the window with his oatmeal.
How do you know he's gone a -hunting ? ANNIE
'Cause he is. Singing.
Bye baby Bunting DABS
What's his name ? ANNIE
Mr. Bunt, of course.
Dabs reflectively climbs out on the balcony while the song continues. Dada's gone a -hunting ​MR . BUNT
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LABS
What do he hunt ?
Making himself comfortable. ANNIE
Rabbits and rabbit skins .
Singing. To get a little rabbit skin
To wrap the baby Bunting in DABS
And where do he live ? ANNIE
In the Maple Tree. DABS
Where the maple sugar comes from ? ANNIE
Yes. DABS
I wished I lived there. I'd git enough maple sugar for
my
Oatmeal for once . ANNIE
You get quite enough as it is. Singing. Bye baby Bunting DABS
Does he get all he wants ? ANNIE
I don't know ; but he's very gentlemanly and wouldn't take more than his share. DABS
Of course , he wouldn't. ​22
MR . BUNT ANNIE
Besides, there are lots of things besides maple sugar in the Maple Tree . DABS
What, for instance ? ANNIE
Well, all the fairies live there, and they have a big house. DABS
What - in the Maple Tree ? ANNIE
No. In the roots of the Maple Tree ; but, of course, he is out most of the time, hunting. DABS
Can he shoot straight ? ANNIE
He never misses. DABS
I bet yer I can shoot better'n he can. ANNIE
We are not making any comparisons. Please be still. You're disturbing baby Bunting. Humming. Bye baby Bunting DABS
Finishing his oatmeal inquires casually: Tell me some more about him. ANNIE
Mr. Bunt ? ​MR . BUNT
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DABS
Yes.
What's he like ? ANNIE
He has aa big gun and he's all dressed up like a hunter. DABS
Aw , go on - you made him up. ANNIE
Ignoring the remark , hums. Dada's gone a-hunting DABS
Aw, I knew you did. ANNIE
What if I did ; he's mine, and I won't let you play with him . DABS
Delighted with his discovery. Where is he ? ANNIE
It wouldn't make any difference where he was, you couldn't see him . DABS
Is that so. I can see anything you can see and more besides.
Pointing at the absolutely empty garden be low them .
Why, there he is now. Good morning, Mr. Bunt. ANNIE
Furiously. Donald Reber, what are you talking about ? ​24
MR . BUNT DABS
Turning to Annie in utter surprise.
What! Can't you see him? How you surprise me! Pointing very definitely. He's sitting right over there in the bushes— the poor simp! ANNIE
How dare you talk like that about Mr. Bunt! You don't see anything, anyway. DABS
Don't I !
Pointing
He's right down there, now. Excitedly. Why, if he ain't trying to climb in the rain pipe! What do you think of that?
Dabs, I am afraid, is about to spit down on the imaginary Mr. Bunt when Annie, who has
lost all patience, collars him and puts him, struggling, in the window , which she shuts, re marking during the operation ANNIE
When Mummy comes back I am going to tell her how you've acted, and you can get out now and play by yourself. I don't want you around here. Annie, alone now on the little balcony, turns her attention to her dolls.
The door below opens quietly and a disconso late Dabs appears. He considers the situation, ​MR . BUNT
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and sitting down on the doorstep, out of sight of Annie, selects a fresh blade of grass and pressing it between his thumbs blows on it without result. And now , from the balcony above, in the quiet of the woods comes Annie's song again to baby Bunting. As the song continues, a strange, little, pathetic
figure rises slowly out of the rain pipe and steps timidly down on the balcony, waiting patiently to be addressed by Annie. He is a very small hunter indeed, all dressed
in a rabbit skin coat and cap , with bare legs and boots. On his back hangs a green hunt
ing bag and he carries a very big gun . Annie sings on , and even when she turns towards him it is as though she knew he was there and is not at all surprised at his appear ance.
In fact, even after she sees him, she goes on arranging her dolls and only after they have been attended to does she take aa packing box
and place it as a seat for Mr. Bunt, who silently takes his place as though nothing ex
traordinary was happening, except that he is a little warm and takes off his hat to fan him self.
Annie now sits opposite him and begins her conversation , very politely and delicately, as children are wont when they enter the land of the fairies. ​26
MR . BUNT SCENE 4 ANNIE
You are very warm to -day, Mr. Bunt ! MR. BUNT
Nodding politely. Quite warm , Miss Reber.
On Annie's remark Dabs, on the doorstep below , pricks up his ears and a look of utter disgust settles on his features.
Throughout the following scene which is being enacted on the balcony, Dabs expresses his disgust to the audience by a series of horrible
faces and by means of pantomime gets the idea over that his sister is quite wrong in her head.
Annie, in the meantime, is continuing
her polite conversation with Mr. Bunt. ANNIE
How was the hunting to -day, Mr. Bunt ? MR. BUNT
Worried .
Please could we talk of something else. ANNIE
Anxiously. You didn't kill anything ? MR. BUNT
Oh, dear no. ANNIE
But your bag, Mr. Bunt ? ​27
MR . BUNT MR. BUNT
It's stuffed full of grass. What Dabs on the doorstep below registers here is unprintable. ANNIE
Oh, how nice. Of course, I want you to hunt,
but I wouldn't have you kill anything, you know. MR . BUNT
I understand perfectly. ANNIE
And you don't mind ? MR. BUNT
I much prefer it so - in fact I'm very much afraid of guns, and I dislike killing things most awfully, especially rabbits. ANNIE
It makes it rather awkward. MR. BUNT
Distinctly so. ANNIE
But the song says you hunt things. MR. BUNT
I know it does. ANNIE
Well, I like the way you get around it.
It shows
consideration . MR. BUNT
I know , but couldn't you make me up into some thing else something that doesn't hunt? ​MR . BUNT
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ANNIE
No- 0-0-0-0-0 . I like you the way you came to me first in the song, and I like you to play with because you know how to show consideration, and almost nobody does that. Mummy says we must not expect it, but always show it.
Mr. Bunt here turns the bag around, on which is printed in very large letters: CONSIDER
ATION.
He gently places it where it will
show to the best advantage. ANNIE
Holding out baby Bunting.
Would you like to hold the baby, Mr. Bunt ? MR. BUNT
Of course, if you wish me to , I will. He accepts the baby patiently and then sits dis consolate. ANNIE
You are not holding it very well, Mr. Bunt. MR. BUNT
No, I
suppose not. ANNIE
Arranging baby. There, that's better. Don't you like your baby, Mr. Bunt ? MR. BUNT
My baby ! ANNIE
Yes. ​MR . BUNT
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MR. BUNT
Oh, I suppose it came in the song, too . ANNIE
Of course . MR. BUNT
I'm glad it wasn't a very long song. Looking thoughtfully at the baby. You see, they are so much alike. ANNIE
What are ? MR. BUNT
The things that came in that song, babies and guns ANNIE
For goodness sakes !
I don't think they are at
all alike. MR. BUNT .
Perhaps not; but still, when you hold them you never can tell what's going to happen. ANNIE
But you can MR. BUNT
Would you like to hold the gun ? ANNIE
Well, perhaps I had better take the baby. Annie relieves Mr. Bunt. MR. BUNT
You see they are alike in a way. ANNIE
I'm sorry, Mr. Bunt. But, of course, you will get ​30
MR . BUNT
used to them — and you are so nice to talk to it's like having a real fairy. MR. BUNT
That's what I am, Miss Reber. ANNIE
And I'm going to have you come and play with me always. MR. BUNT
Why certainly, Miss Reber. ANNIE
And I can tell you all the things that Dabs doesn't understand and I don't want him to
know , anyway . MR. BUNT
Exactly. ANNIE
I'm sure it's very nice of you, Mr. Bunt. MR. BUNT
Oh, not at all, Miss Reber. ANNIE
You see, Mr. Bunt, I think it's because I'm so
lonely and want some one to talk to . Mummy is away all day, even to -day, Saturday, when there isn't any school or anything. Of course , there
is Dabs, but he just gets into one mess right after another, and I want someone I can really talk to . MR. BUNT
Of course you do. ​MR . BUNT
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ANNIE
That's what makes it so nice, Mr. Bunt.
You
understand everything. MR. BUNT
I'm very glad you like me, Miss Reber. ANNIE
And you can come and play with me always, can't you Mr. Bunt ? MR. BUNT
I can play with you always until ANNIE
Until what ? MR . BUNT
Until you forget me. ANNIE
Forget you ! Mr. Bunt !! MR. BUNT
Nodding. You
see,
if
you forget me you won't remember
me.
ANNIE
But I'll never forget you, Mr. Bunt. MR. BUNT
That's what you think, Miss Reber, but when you do I must return at once to the Maple Tree, by order of the Board of Directors. ANNIE
And would they never let you come back ? MR. BUNT
Never, in ever so long, and only then if you should ​32
MR . BUNT
find whatever it is that unlocks the Maple Tree. ANNIE
Why, whatever it is that unlocks the Maple Tree must be the maple keys, of course. I can find
them all over the ground under the trees, but I don't see that that helps much because even if I found them I couldn't unlock the tree, you
know , unless I found the keyhole. MR. BUNT
I hadn't thought of that. It's very hard, you see, to really get me back again once you forget me. ANNIE
Well, the best thing to do is to be very careful and not forget. MR . BUNT
I think so, Miss Reber, because if you forget once, it's never quite the same again , and then - only >
almost Dabs has had all he can stand of this sort of conversation . With a short stick he jams the latch
on the door. This locks Annie in the house and with a comfortable feeling of safety he proceeds to make his presence known by loudly addressing the air.
SCENE 5 DABS
Good morning, Mrs. Geshisish! ​MR . BUNT
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ANNIE
Rises and looks over the rail. Dabs ! DABS
Pays no attention to Annie but with great solicitation addresses the air .
Good morning, Mrs. Geshisish . You're very warm this morning, Mrs. Geshisish . With increased politeness.
Won't you wipe your face on the mat, Mrs. Let me hold your feet for you.
Geshisish .
ANNIE
Donald Reber, you come up here at once! DABS
Contemptuously. Aw go on, I kin do it too. Continuing Mrs. Geshisish has come to call on Mr. Bunt, ain't you, Mrs. Geshisish ? Sit right down and
make yourself comfortable He continues, carefully arranging the ash can . Why, you're all covered with consideration, ain't you, Mrs. Geshisish? Don't you want me to brush you off ?
Dabs takes the broom in his hand. 1
ANNIE
Donald Reber, did you hear what I said ? ​MR . BUNT
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DABS
Aw , why don't you go on playing with your Mr. Bunt and leave me alone.
Brushing the air violently. She's disturbing us, ain't she, Mrs. Geshisish ? ANNIE
Just wait until I get you, Donald Reber. Annie is climbing in the window and Mr.
Bunt is disappearing in the rain pipe. Dabs, sitting alone, is about to continue the conversa
tion when a sudden banging on the door from the inside and Annie's angry voice demanding to be let out at once, stops him He makes no
effort to unlock the door; in fact, the situation seems to please him, and once more he pro ceeds with his conversation . DABS
She's going to be awful mad, Mrs. Geshisish, but we mustn't mind her because I want some one I can really, really talk to . ANNIE
Appearing at the window . Dabs, you open that door at once! DABS
What door ? ANNIE
You know exactly what I mean. You open that door at once. ​MR . BUNT
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DABS
Rocking back and forth with joy. Why, Mrs. Geshisish, ain't she awful ? gets into one mess right after another.
She just
ANNIE
Dabs, do you hear me? DABS
And, Mrs. Geshisish, I'm so glad because you can really understand. ANNIE
If you make me climb out the back window
, you'll
be sorry when I get you ! DABS
She wants the key, Mrs. Geshisish, the key that unlocks the Maple Tree. Annie gives one look and disappears. Dabs arises, saying politely: I think I must be going, Mrs. Geshisish . I'll leave you to talk to Mr.Bunt. Music.
Dabs is making good his escape and at the same time keeping a careful lookout over his shoul
der for the harassed Annie, when he is suddenly confronted with a strange apparition that has arisen in his path . There was a large mush room on the right side of the stage when the scene opened but the mushroom must have
grown up very suddenly for now it is a large white umbrella , all trimmed with pink, and ​36
MR . BUNT
under it stands the most alarming little old lady dressed in black bombazine. Dabs' hair fair ly rises on his head .
Gee- I must have started something ! MRS. GESHISISH
You did !
You started me !
Dabs starts for the house. You started a great deal more than you can ever understand.
Dabs has had more than he wants to under
stand , and this with the appearance of Annie round the house makes his exit a hurried one. At Annie's appearance the old lady has again
become a mushroom , and Annie, nursing her anger, draws the stick from the latch and enters the house.
SCENE 6
Whereupon the old lady, who has lost Dabs, advances upon the house, remarking in her sharp irritating voice:
Well, of all the impudent things ! Never in all
my fairy- godmother life did I ever expect to have such remarks passed on me. Mrs. Geshisish indeed !
And as for this Bunt creature, I don't
believe there is such a thing. ​MR . BUNT
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VOICE OF MR. BUNT From the rain pipe. Ma'am ? MRS. GESHISISH
Eyeing the rain pipe suspiciously. Come out of that rain pipe, drat you. VOICE OF MR . BUNT
Please ma'am , I'd rather not. I'm scared of the rabbits. MRS. GESHISISH
Bending down and trying to peer into the rain pipe.
Scared of the rabbits ! More loudly:
You'll be more scared when I come in and get you.
Are you coming out ? VOICE OF MR. BUNT
Please ma'am , no. MRS. GESHISISH
Well, I'm coming in.
And she has just started to crawl into the rain pipe when - Flash ! the stage is black. She is now in the rain pipe. Of course we can't see anything but we can hear Mrs. Geshisish's voice remarking contemptuously: Well of all dark, dank places ! What are you doing, sitting there all squished up with that gun ? VOICE OF MR. BUNT I'm afraid of the rabbits. ​MR . BUNT
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VOICE OF MRS. GESHISISH
What do you want to hunt them for, anyway ? VOICE OF MR. BUNT
It's out of consideration for Annie. VOICE OF MRS. GESHISISH
Well, never in all my fairy -godmother life have I heard such nonsense.
I wish I were out of here.
The light goes up and Mrs. Geshisish is dis covered standing on the steps of the cottage. MRS. GESHISISH
Looking around in a surprised manner, finally remarks with a nod of conviction :
Must have stepped on something - never had a wish work as quick as that before. VOICE OF MR. BUNT
How did you get outside the rain pipe ? MRS. GESHISISH
Shortly.
I wished myself out. VOICE OF MR. BUNT
Oh ! MRS. GESHISISH
Can you do that ? No ! That's a modern fairy foryou - no wishes ! no nothing ! How long are you going to stay in that rain pipe ? VOICE OF MR. BUNT
Till Annie wants me. MRS. GESHISISH
Stuff and nonsense !
Do you know who I am ? ​39
MR . BUNT VOICE OF MR. BUNT
Why, you are Dabs' invisible playmate, of course. MRS. GESHISISH
Outraged.
Invisible playmate indeed ! I'm his old -fashioned fairy -godmother, that's what I am. The kind
that gives everybody three wishes that all come true, and in the end nobody gets anything. That's simple. Anybody can understand that. Three wishes and there you are .
But this invis
able playmate stuff - that's too complicated for me. Why you know, in my time, we fairies amounted to something. We ran things. But
now -a -days every child has its own particular brand of fairy. Has it for as long as it pleases and then forgets it. Do you call that life ? I call it downright selfishness. I'd like to talk to
whoever started this invisible fairy stuff. VOICE OF MR. BUNT
Perhaps you'd better see the Board of Directors about it. MRS. GESHISISH
The Board of Directors.
What is the child talk
ing about. Wait till I get in that rain pipe! Very dramatically she raises her finger, saying with great emphasis: I wish I were in the rain pipe.
Flash ! and the stage is black once more . ​MR . BUNT
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VOICE OF MRS. GESHISISH
See how quick those old fashioned wishes work . I've just got to say what I want and bang ! I get
it. Now sit right where you are and answer me or I'll call the rabbits. Is that gun loaded ? VOICE OF MR. BUNT
No ma'am . VOICE OF MRS. GESHISISH
Well, that's aa comfort. Now this Board of Direc tors. What do they do? VOICE OF MR. BUNT
They don't do anything. They're just awfully
strict about everything, but you have to see the Owl first. VOICE OF MRS. GESHISISH
The Owl ? VOICE OF MR . BUNT
Yes, he knows everything. VOICE OF MRS. GESHISISH
Indeed. Well, we'll see this bird. Where does he live ? VOICE OF MR. BUNT
In the roots of the Maple Tree. VOICE OF MRS. GESHISISH
In the roots of the Maple Tree is he ? Well, we're going to investigate. If you are not used to flying, hold tight to my arm.. Are you ready, Mr. Bunt ? VOICE OF MR. BUNT
Yes ma'am. ​MR . BUNT
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VOICE OF MRS. GESHISISH
Then up we go.
Dramatically. I wish I were in the roots of the Maple Tree. Music.
There is a rushing sound as of wings and two huge, round eyes look out of the darkness.
The lights go on slowly and we are in the roots of the Maple Tree.
SCENE 7
From a dark hollow among the huge tangled roots the gigantic head of the Owl looks down and blinks at the little figures of Mrs. Geshis ish and Mr. Bunt.
Mrs. Geshisish is holding
her open umbrella far above her head as though she had just alighted and gripping a very
frightened Mr. Bunt firmly by the arm . As for the rest of the scene, there are a num ber of little mushroom -like seats in groups as
though they had just come up, and at the side of the Owl's head is a large sign , reading: SECOND CLASS IN SILENCE .
The Owl blinks his large eyes. OWL
In a very solemn voice .
And what can I do for you ? ​MR . BUNT
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MRS. GESHISISH
Well of all things ! MR. BUNT
Ssh !
It's the Owl . MRS. GESHISISH
Irritated beyond measure . I kin see him. MR. BUNT
Timidly addressing the Owl. I want to introduce you OWL
In аa deep voice. To who ? MR. BUNT
Mrs. Geshisish. OWL
Calmly and firmly. Visitors not allowed. MRS. GESHISISH
Ain't he dreadful. MR. BUNT
Ssh, or he'll send for the Board of Directors. She isn't exactly a visitor. She wants to learn things. VOICE OF ANNIE
Calling softly. Mr. Bunt, Mr. Bunt. MR. BUNT
It's Annie calling me - I'm off. Keep your eyes open. ​MR . BUNT
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MRS. GESHISISH
Most perturbed. Oh dear, I'm all mixed up. I don't think I can learn anything around here. OWL
Yes you can , Madam. This is the Second Class in Silence. MRS. GESHISISH
Where is the class ? OWL
Just behind you, Madam. MRS. GESHISISH
Turns around and regards the audience. Hav
ing satisfied herself as to their mental capacity, she expresses her feeling by saying: And what do you expect me to learn in a place like this ? OWL
Silence. MRS. GESHISISH
That's not very hard. OWL
Well, you haven't learned it yet. Madam, please be seated. Mrs. Geshisish sits down properly on one of
the mushrooms and holds very firmly to her white umbrella.
In the silence that ensues ,
the Owl's eyes slowly close.
After an appre
ciable time, he remarks sleepily: " The class is doing very well to -day.” If, however, there ​44
MR . BUNT
is any unconscious disturbance on the part of
the audience, the Owl will reprimand the offender at once. This is played ad lib until the little white figure of Gyem -of-the-Woods appears, climbing slowly over the huge roots to the stage below . Suddenly he slips and comes
down plump. As he lands he says “Oh!” quite loud, whereupon the Owl, whose eyes are closed, remarks wearily “ Again .” And Mrs. Geshisish, who has caught sight of Gyem, has risen and is furiously shaking her umbrella at him.
MRS. GESHISISH
You go and put your pants on! GYEM
What ! MRS. GESHISISH
It ain't decent.
With which she opens her umbrella and retires behind it. OWL
Resignedly. Are we or are we not going to have any class ? VOICE OF MRS. GESHISISH
From behind umbrella .
Class or no class this ain't no place for me. GYEM
Looking at the white umbrella. You'll only see one side of things that way. ​MR . BUNT
45
VOICE OF MRS. GESHISISH
I'll see the side I want to. OWL
Opening his eyes.
So long as she feels that way we'd better leave her alone.
But-- Solemnly.
Until she puts her umbrella down she will never understand.
With which he closes his eyes again.
The white umbrella passes across the stage. As it reaches the exit it stops. Music.
MRS. GESHISISH
From behind the umbrella .
I've seen quite enough of things as it is, thank you, and they're quite too complicated for an old woman, if they ain't immoral at that. Exit Mrs. Geshisish behind umbrella. SCENE 8 OWL
Quietly. Has she gone ? GYEM
Yes sir. OWL
Remarks abstractedly: She was my aunt. ​MR . BUNT
46
And closes his left eye and settles his head once more in silence . GYEM
Aghast. She was your what?
OWL Opening his eye again for a moment, long enough to say: She was my aunt ! It may sound strange, but read mythology. Mythology is absolutely neces sary.
It explains everything without saying any.
thing. Do you know where my class is ? GYEM
They are all out playing in the mole hole. OWL
That's all very nice, but wait till the Board of Directors hears about it. GYEM
What will they do ? OWL
Calmly. Nothing. Opening one eye slowly. That's what makes it so terrible.
know what they might do. GYEM
I see. OWL
You don't.
Closing his eyes.
You never ​MR . BUNT
47
I don't. Pause. GYEM
What else do you teach here ? OWL
Come up and I will tell you. Gyem climbs carefully up the roots and sits beside the huge head of the Owl, who blinks at him wisely. OWL
I have classes in Make - Believe, Interest and Don't -Bother -Me. GYEM
Which gives you the most trouble ? OWL
Turning towards him, remarks significantly : The class in Don't-Bother -Me. GYEM
Why ? OWL
They ask so many questions. GYEM
What kind of questions ? OWL
Impertinent questions. The answer to an imper tinent question is " Don't bother me. ” I teach them to tell the difference between impertinent
questions and warm-hearted questions. GYEM
What is the difference ? ​48
MR . BUNT OWL
There isn't any. That's what makes it so diffi cult to study. It's only in the way they are
asked. An impertinent question wants the answer out of curiosity, a warm -hearted question wants an answer so as to be better able to help somebody. GYEM
I think I understand. OWL
Think some more!
Gyem studies for a while. GYEM
Looking at sign. What is the next class? OWL
Make- Believe!
We had Interest this morning. GYEM
What do you teach in Interest ? OWL
Nothing. GYEM
What ? OWL
Solemnly. I'm trying to get them interested in nothing. GYEM
What do you mean by that ? OWL
It's the interest that's the important thing. ​MR . BUNT
49
He turns his head completely around.
That's all you have to have. GYEM
Timidly.
But what are you interested in ? OWL
Sharply. Mice !
This gives Gyem such a start that he slides the complete length of the roots and then col lects himself. GYEM
Looking up.
Anything else ? OWL
No ! GYEM
That's simple. OWL
Slowly opening his eyes.. The simpler life is the sweeter. GYEM
I think I was happier when I knew less. OWL
Opening one eye long enough to say: The trouble is, you don't know enough . GYEM
Where do I learn ? OWL
You don't- it just comes. ​1
50
MR . BUNT GYEM
From where ? OWL
Opening both eyes suddenly. I don't know.
GYEM Isn't there any way to tell? OWL
Keep on trying. SCENE 9
At this moment a queer little door opens and a lot of fairies come dancing in, singing. Each fairy has as a partner some strange little creature clothed in the ends with which chil
dren dress their imaginary playmates. Music .
This is the class in Make-Believe,
Make-Believe, Make-Believe, This is the class in Make -Believe, Under the Maple Tree.
When the dance is over they arrange themselves on the semi-circle of little mushroom -like seats that surround the Owl, who looks down and addresses them . Music . OWL
Silence, fairies. You are, you know, in the roots of the Maple Tree. Remember, a little fairy is at ​MR . BUNT
51
the root of everything - any child knows that. Out in the world the children are calling to you .
The world is one great game of Make -Believe and if you have learned your lessons here, you
will have no trouble on earth. Gyem -of-the Woods will let you out from the branches of the Maple Tree . I will show you the way up as far as the door, but Gyem has the maple keys and will let you out into the world . And, now that
you are to cross the bridge of dreams, I will give you your final lesson . Children should be seen, not heard. Fairies should be heard , not seen. Now never get those two things mixed up, or the Board of Directors will get you . You under stand ?
Looking around. You do .
Continuing
Tonight you are to leave the tree, for I can hear the children calling. Your time has come to go out into the world . Go, and beware of the Board of Directors.
They all dance around and out of the door to the tune of: This is the class in Make- Believe, Make-Believe, Make-Believe,
This is the class in Make-Believe, Under the Maple Tree. The Owl closes his eyes. ​MR . BUNT
52
SCENE 10 GYEM
To Owl
And you are all through for the day ? OWL
I have to make my report to the Board of Direc tors, then Bowing.
I am through for the day, thank you. GYEM
They're very strict, aren't they ? OWL
You'll find that out. GYEM
Well, I've got to get up in the Maple Tree to let all those little fairies out into the world tonight.
He starts to climb upward.
By the way, has anyone found the key ? OWL
Shaking his head. They don't know where to look. GYEM
Calling down. Do they ever find it ? OWL
Very, very few . Music.
The lights grow dim and the scene fades out. ​53
MR . BUNT SCENE 11
The Maple Tree. We have a deep, soft, moonlit sky. In the center of the stage is the Maple Tree, and curled high in its dark cluster of branches
lies the little white figure of Gyem , nodding. Music .
Deep shadows fall about, and from them oomes the throbbing of the crickets. The throbbing grows louder and again the song of the Sand man is heard approaching. He slowly enters . SANDMAN
Singing
Dream , baby, dream. Close the shadows creep,
While your fancies follow me O'er the land of sleep. GYEM
Yawning Oh, it makes me sleepy to look at you, Sandman . SANDMAN
Stops a moment, then continues on his way across the stage.
Fair night tonight, Gyem . Singing All the world is still.
Moving off GYEM
Good for you, old top . You've done a good job. ​54
MR . BUNT
Now, I've got my work to do. SANDMAN
Singing. And I upon my way. GYEM
Well, don't stay on my account. You'll send me to sleep again before I get to work. SANDMAN
Singing. Sleep, sleep. VOICES IN THE TREE
Key - key - key - key - key - key - key. GYEM
Shaking the branches. Listen to them trying to get out. SANDMAN
Singing.
Dreamy eyes will fill. GYEM
Sandman -- go away — I'm falling to sleep and I've got to let those baby fairies out of the Maple Tree before the world wakes. VOICES
Key - key - key - key — key - key - key. GYEM
Yes, I know I'm coming. Yawning. Oh me, I hate work . I think I'll leave them all inside. ​55
MR . BUNT SANDMAN
In the distance.
All the world's asleep. GYEM
Yes, all the world's asleep. I wish I were.
Reaching out, he turns one of the maple keys and throws it on the ground. There is silence. VOICE
From the trees, full of pep. What am I ? GYEM
Laughing Can't you remember anything ? You are a fairy. VOICE
Oh, where am I ? GYEM
You are in the world again . VOICES
Key - key - key - key - key - key — key. GYEM
There are the rest of them. VOICE
Where are they? GYEM
That's what I can't understand. The minute I let you out of the Maple Tree you forget every thing you ever knew. And I have to begin all over again.
VOICE
Where do I begin? ​56
MR . BUNT GYEM
That's it — and you are so cheerful about it. Now wait.
He reaches and turns another key. NEW VOICES
Oh, it's cold ; I don't like it. GYEM
Well, you wanted to get out and here you are. He is now busily turning key after key and throwing them on the ground below . The
voices, clear and fresh, come piping out till they are clattering in the branches like a flock of grackles. VOICES
Where are we ? I don't know, What next ?
Here I am .
My wings are stiff. Look out, you'll fall. Where do we go next ? Is this the world ?
Tell me quickly. GYEM
Admonishing a reluctant fairy. None of your nonsense now - out with you got lots to do tonight.
I've ​MR . BUNT
57
VOICES
Wide world. Round world . I like it.
Let's play. Feel
the air moves .
Delighted I drift with it. Like aa feather.
Come, let us sail. On the dandelion down.
Around and around.
Oh, look at me glide. That's the way . Try it again. I like it.
Don't you ?
Gyem climbs down from the clattering tree, shakes himself and looks up. He raises his wand and silence reigns. GYEM
Baby fairies in the air, Have a care, have a care. Go and find your playmate now, Make your curtsy and a bow . If they hold their arms to you, Make their fairy dreams come true. ​MR . BUNT
58
VOICES
We're off
By the bridge. Can you see us? GYEM
By the bridge of dreams you go, To the waiting earth below. Turning to the audience.
Can you see them on their way? We are no longer children. We only see the
Maple Tree and the little white figure of Gyem . Gyem , however, waves his wand. Look again with children's eyes! And now , from the dark clustered leaves of the Maple Tree a narrow bridge swings in a rainbow -like arch to the world below.
On it
the fairies are seen, in silhouette, making their way in the moonlight, their little wings flut tering on the air. Gyem stands watching the fairies, when Mr. Bunt, in his hunting clothes, is seen climbing in a pathetic manner onto the stage. He waits till Gyem turns and sees him. SCENE 12 GYEM
Who are you ! MR. BUNT
I'm Mr. Bunt. GYEM
What are you doing here ? ​MR . BUNT
59
MR. BUNT
I'm lost. You opened everybody's eyes. GYEM
Why, I was just showing the people how the fairies went over the bridge of dreams down into the world. I thought they'd be interested . MR. BUNT
You told them to look again with children's eyes. GYEM
And what has that got to do with you ? MR. BUNT
Do with me ? Why, it made me visible. Don't
you know that children see everything ? They don't miss a thing. I was sitting down there
on the steps perfectly invisible. You opened everybody's eyes, and I saw the usher coming for me, so I thought I'd better come up here and let you settle it before the Board of Directors got me . GYEM
What were you doing in here, anyway? MR. BUNT
I
came in to see the show. As an invisible fairy I have the right to go anywhere. Now, how am
I going to get back ? GYEM
Where do you belong ? MR. BUNT
I belong to a little girl in the woods.
How am I ​MR . BUNT
60
going to get back ? As long as I was invisible I could ride in the street cars for nothing, but now
I haven't even a penny and anybody can see me. Even if I got back, Dabs would punch the head off of me the moment he saw me. GYEM
Scratching his head.
This is very awkward . Suppose we see the Owl. MR. BUNT
He won't like it.
He's very strict. GYEM
But we've got to do something. Either you go back to the world or back into the Maple Tree. MR. BUNT
But I can't go back to the world now. Every one can see me .
GYEM
Then we've got to see the Owl about it. Turning, he looks up into the tree and calls : To whit. Music. SCENE 13 OWL
In a deep voice. a
To who ? GYEM
Oh, Mr. Owl, we are in trouble. ​61
MR . BUNT VOICE OF OWL
Everybody is. They know too much. At this point two very small eyes look out from the branches of the Maple Tree, which after all is an extraordinary tree. after his wise remark , asks :
The Owl,
What is the matter? GYEM
Here's an invisible fairy that got lost. I opened people's eyes and they can see him. OWL
That's what you get for playing with things you
don't understand. Now you've gone and thrown the whole works out of order. Board of Directors say?
What will the
GYEM
Timidly. I don't know. OWL
Things are in a mess. GYEM
Can't we do anything ? OWL
We ? We are the only persons who can do any thing. The Board of Directors won't touch it. MR. BUNT
Timidly. Am I аa lost fairy ? ​62
MR . BUNT OWL
That's exactly what you are, and it isn't very pleasant. In the first place, you can't go back to the little girl who called you her playmate, be
cause Dabs and everybody can see you now and they wouldn't understand.
And second, you
can't go back into the Maple Tree because that
is where the forgotten fairies go . It is only when the children outgrow the fairies and forget them that they can come back. You are not forgot ten -- you are lost. MR. BUNT
Isn't there any place for me to go ? OWL
Considering . There's only one chance, and you'll have to be
quick about it and go before the bridge closes. Over the bridge, down into the world, you will be neither fairy nor child. And there is only
one way back. When you are forgotten. That, or the key. MR. BUNT
The key ! No one ever finds the key ! OWL
Very, very few . MR. BUNT
But I want to stay here. ​MR . BUNT
63
THE DEEP VOICE OF THE SANDMAN
The fairy world is closed to you. Music : The Forgotten Fairies.
SCENE 14
Again the bridge appears and by it stands the Sandman in silhouette. SANDMAN
They come theforgotten fairies. Slowly mounting the arch into the Maple Tree
climb a number of bedraggled, queer little creatures, stopping to look back at the world below . In pathetic silence they hold out their little arms to it for the last time and then dis appear into the shadow of the Maple Tree. The Sandman repeats quietly :
The forgotten fairies. MR. BUNT
Sadly. Didn't the children want them any more ? SANDMAN
They grew up and forgot them. Forgot how much they needed them , and they will never know what the trouble with life is, now they have lost their fairies. MR. BUNT
Do they live in the tree ? ​MR . BUNT
64
SANDMAN
Yes, and forget everything when the gate closes. Only the keys can let them out. MR . BUNT
Then they are happy. Why can't I go in ? SANDMAN
You are lost - not forgotten. MR. BUNT
Calling Oh, let me back ! Let me back ! SANDMAN
To the bridge ! It is closing. It is your only way out now .
You can't stay here. GYEM
Running to Mr. Bunt.
You've got to go. Quick! I'll go and hold the bridge. Try and find someone when you get to earth and don't let anybody see that you can fly. This way, quick ! Gyem disappears, dragging Mr. Bunt into the Maple Tree. VOICE OF MR. BUNT
Sobbing. Let me back . Let me back. There is silence, then his lonely figure is seen
making its way slowly over the bridge down into the world below , where the little tents of the circus are seen vaguely on the silent hills.