# Preparation for death/XXIV. THE PARTICULAR JUDGMENT

CONSIDERATION XXIV
Particular Judgment
"For we must all appear before the judgment-seat of Christ" 2 Cor. v. 10.
First Point.
LET us now consider the soul's appearance before God; the accusation, the examination, and the sentence. And, in the first place, speaking of the appearance of the soul before the Judge, it is the general opinion of theologians, that the particular judgment takes place at the very moment when man expires, and that, at the same place in which the soul is separated from the body, it is judged by Jesus Christ, Who will not send, but will come Himself to judge its cause, " for the Son of Man cometh at an hour when ye think not." (S. Luke xii. 40.) S. Augustine observes, " He will come with love for us; with terror for the ungodly." Oh, what fear will that one feel, when he beholds the Redeemer for the first time, and beholds Him in wrath! " Who can stand before His indignation?" (Nah. i. 6.) To see the wrath of the Judge will be the forerunner of condemnation. " The wrath of a king is as messengers of death." (Prov. xvi. 14.) S. Bernard remarks, that, the soul will suffer more in seeing Jesus wrathful, than in being even in hell itself. Very often criminals are seen to perspire with a cold perspiration upon being brought before some earthly judge. When Piso appeared before the Senate in a criminal's dress, he was so troubled that he committed suicide. What grief is it to a son to see his father really offended; or to a subject to see his prince deeply ​annoyed! But what greater punishment can a soul experience than to see Jesus Christ, Whom all his life long has been despised? " they shall look upon Me Whom they have pierced." (Zech. xii. 10.) That Lamb, Who during life has shown so much patience, the souls will afterwards behold very wrathful, without the hope of ever again being able to appease Him; so that they will feel obliged to call upon the mountains to fall upon them, and thus to hide them from the anger of the Lamb. " Fall on us, and hide us from the .... wrath of the Lamb." (Rev. vi. 16.) S. Luke, speaking of the judgment, says, " And then shall they see the Son of Man." (S. Luke xxi. 27.) Oh, what anguish will it bring to the sinner, when he beholds the Judge in the form of a man! Because the sight of Him, Who as Man once died for his salvation, will reproach him very deeply for his ingratitude. When the Saviour ascended into heaven, the angels said to His disciples, " This same Jesus, Which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen Him go into heaven." (Acts i. 11.) Therefore the Judge will come to judge, with those same wounds with which He departed into heaven. Those wounds will console the just, but they will affright the sinners. When Joseph said unto his brethren, " I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold," (Gen. xlv. 4), Holy Scripture tells us that they " could not answer him; for they were troubled at his presence." (Gen. xlv. 3.) But what will the sinner answer Jesus Christ? Perhaps he will take courage to entreat His mercy, at that time when he will first of all have to render to Him an account of the contempt which he has shown for the mercies granted to him? S. Augustine inquires, What will the sinner do, whither will he fly, when he beholds the Judge, Who will be very wrathful, sitting above him; underneath him, hell already open; on the one side the sins which will accuse him; oh the other, the devils ready to execute the sentence; and within, the conscience which will sting him?
Affections and Prayers.
O my Jesus, I wish ever to call Thee my Jesus; Thy Name consoles me, and gives me courage, reminding me that Thou art ​my Saviour, Who didst die to save me. Behold me at Thy feet; I confess that I have been guilty of hell each time that I have offended Thee by committing deadly sin. I do not deserve pardon, but Thou hast died to pardon me. Therefore, my Jesus, do Thou quickly pardon me before Thou dost come to judge me. For then I could no longer beg for mercy; but now I can beg for it, and hope to receive it. Then will Thy wounds affright me; but now they give me confidence. My dear Redeemer, I repent more than for any other evil, that of having offended Thy infinite Goodness. I would wish to accept every chastisement, every loss, rather than lose Thy grace. I love Thee with all my heart. Have mercy upon me. " Have mercy upon me, O God, after Thy great goodness."
Second Point.
We will consider the accusation and the examination. " The judgment was set, and the books were opened." (Dan. vii. 10.) Those books will be two the Gospel, and the conscience. In the Gospel, it will be read what the guilty ought to have done; in the conscience, what he has done. In the scales of Divine justice, riches will not weigh, nor dignity, nor nobility, but works alone. " Thou art weighed in the balances, and found wanting," (Dan. v. 27,) said Daniel to King Belshazzar. On which F. Alvarez comments thus, " Neither God nor riches were put in the balance; the king alone, was weighed."
Then will come the accusers. The first of these will be the devil. S. Augustine here observes, " The devil will stand before the tribunal of Christ, and he will recite the words of our profession. He will cast in our teeth all things that we have done, in what day, and at what hour, we have sinned." " He will recite the words of our profession." " That is to say, he will bring forward all our vows which we have failed in performing; and he will charge us with all our sins, telling us of the day and the hour in which we committed them. Then he will say to the Judge, as S. Cyprian tells us, " I, for these things, have endured neither blows nor scourgings; I, for this guilty one, have suffered nothing; but he left Thee, Who once died to save him, to ​become my slave, therefore he is mine." Even the guardian angels will become accusers, as Origen observes, " Each one of the angels will give evidence as to how many years he has laboured on his behalf, and how he spurned the warnings."
Therefore at that time " all her friends have dealt treacherously with her." (Lam. i. 2.) Even those walls, within which the guilty one shall have sinned, will become accusers. " The stone shall cry out of the wall." (Hab. ii. II.) His own conscience will be an accuser. "Their conscience also bearing witness .... in the day when God shall judge." (Rom. ii. 15.) Their own sins then will speak, as S. Bernard says, and cry out, " Thou hast made us, we are thy work; we will not desert thee."
Finally, as S. Chrysostom observes, the wounds of Jesus Christ will become accusers: " the nails will complain of thee; the scars will speak against thee; the Cross of Christ will proclaim against thee."
And then will the examination commence. The Lord declares that " at that time I will search Jerusalem with candles." (Zeph. i. 12.) Mendozza observes that the lamp will penetrate into every corner of the house. Cornelius a Lapide, explaining these words, " with lamps," teaches us, that God will then place before the guilty the example of the saints, and will remind them of all the lights and the inspirations which He has given to them during life, and also of all the years which He has granted them, during which they ought to have done good. " He hath called an assembly against me." (Lam. i. 15.) So that he will then, according to S. Anselm, have to render an account of every glance. " He shall purify the sons of Levi." (Mai. iii. 3.) As gold is purified by being separated from the dross, even so will our good works be examined our confessions, and our communions. " When I receive the congregation, I shall judge according unto right." (Ps. lxxv. 3.) Indeed, as S. Peter tells us, the righteous will scarcely be saved in the judgment. " And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?" (i S. Peter iv. 18.) If he shall have to render an account of every idle word, what account will he be able to render of so many evil thoughts which have been yielded to ​of so many idle words? S. Gregory asks: " If account is to be taken of the idle, what about the impure words? " And particularly does the Lord forewarn those infamous sinners who have robbed Him of souls, " I will meet them as a bear that is bereaved of her whelps." (Hos. xiii. 8.) And then, speaking of works, the Judge will say, " Give her of the fruit of her hands." (Prov. xxxi. 31.) Reward according to the works which have been done.
Affections and Prayers.
Ah, my Jesus, if now Thou dost wish to pay me according to the works which I have done, no other than hell would be my fate. O God, how many times have I not written the sentence of my condemnation to that place of torments. I thank Thee for the patience which Thou hast had with me in having borne with me for so long. O God, if now I should have to appear at Thy tribunal, what account could I render to Thee of my life? " Enter not into judgment with Thy servant." Ah, Lord, do Thou wait for me a little longer; do not judge me yet. If now Thou shouldst judge me, what would become of me? Wait for me, since that Thou hast shown so many mercies towards me until now; grant me even this; give me a great grief for my sins. I repent, O Sovereign Good, for having so often despised Thee. I love Thee above all things. Eternal Father, pardon me through the love of Jesus Christ, and through His merits, grant me holy perseverance. My Jesus, I hope for all things through Thy Blood.
Second Point.
In conclusion, for the soul to obtain eternal salvation, it must be found to have led a life which was conformable to the life of Jesus Christ. " For whom He did foreknow, He also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of His Son." (Rom. viii. 29.) But it was this which caused Job to tremble. "What shall I do when God riseth up? And when He visiteth, what shall I answer Him?" (Job xxxi. 14.) Philip II. having a servant who told him a lie, reproved him, saying, " Is it thus thou wouldst deceive me? " The man, it is said, returned home, and died of grief. What will the sinner do, and what ​will He answer Jesus Christ, Who will be his Judge? He will do that which the man in the Gospel did, who having come in not having a wedding-garment, was silent, not knowing what to say. " He was speechless." (S. Matt. xxii. 12.) His own sin will stop his mouth. " The mouth of all wickedness shall be stopped." (Ps. cvii. 42.)
S. Basil observes, that the sinner will then be more tormented by shame, than by the fire itself of hell: " The shame will be more horrible than the fire."
Behold, the Judge will finally pronounce the sentence: " Depart from Me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire." " Oh, what terrible thunder will this be! Oh, how terribly will it resound! " says the Carthusian; so also S. Anselm, " He who does not tremble at so great thunder does not sleep, but is dead." And Eusebius adds, that the fear of the sinners will be so great in hearing their sentence pronounced, that if they could die again, they would do so. S. Thomas of Villanova remarks, that no longer is a place for prayer given, there are no longer intercessors to whom to flee unto. To whom, therefore, can they flee? Perchance to God Whom they have so despised. " Who will deliver you? Perhaps that God Whom you have despised."
O God, exclaims S. Thomas of Villanova, alas! with what indifference do we hear the judgment spoken of, as if the sentence of condemnation did not concern us! And as if we shall not have to be judged! And what folly is it, continues the same Saint, to rest secure in a thing of so much danger! S. Augustine warns thee and says, " Do not say, my brother:" " Will God really send me to hell?" Do not say it, observes the Saint, because even the Jews could not be persuaded that they should be destroyed; and many who have been condemned would never believe that they should be sent to hell; but afterwards the end of their punishment has come! " An end is come, the end is come ..... Now will I shortly pour out My fury upon thee, and accomplish My anger upon thee: and I will judge thee according to thy ways." (Ezek. vii. 6-8.) And even thus, observes S. Augustine, will it happen with thee, " The day of judgment will come, and thou shalt find that true, which God has threatened." Now it is in our ​power to choose the sentence that we hope will be ours. S. Eligius observes, " It is put into our power how we will be judged." And what have we to do? To settle our accounts before the judgment. "Before judgment prepare thee justice." (Ecclus. xviii. 19.) S. Bonaventure observes, that those merchants who are wise, frequently look over and cast up their accounts, so that they may be in no danger of failing. S. Augustine remarks, " That the Judge may be propitiated before the judgment, but not in it." " I long to present myself before thee as judged, and not as to be judged." Let us therefore say to the Lord, as did S. Bernard, My Judge, I desire that Thou shouldst judge and punish me now during life, now that it is the time of mercy, and now that Thou canst pardon me, for after death will it be the time for judgment.
Affections and Prayers.
My God, if I am not reconciled to Thee now, the time will come when I can no longer be reconciled to Thee. But how can I be reconciled to Thee, who so many times have despised Thy friendship for pleasures which have proved to be base and miserable? I have repaid Thy great love with ingratitude. What satisfaction that is worth offering, can a creature give for the offences committed against its Creator? Ah, my Lord, I thank Thee, that Thy mercy has already opened the way for me to become reconciled to Thee and to give Thee satisfaction. I offer to Thee the Blood and the Death of Jesus Thy Son, and behold I see Thy justice already reconciled and satisfied beyond measure. And for this, my repentance is also necessary. Yes, my God, I repent with all my heart because of all the offences I have committed against Thee. Judge me therefore now, O my Redeemer. I abhor, beyond every other evil, the displeasure which I have caused Thee. I love Thee beyond all things with all my heart; and I purpose ever to love Thee, and to die rather than to offend Thee more. Thou hast promised to pardon him who repents; then do Thou judge me now, and do Thou absolve me from my sins. I accept the punishment which I deserve, but restore me to Thy favour, and keep me in it, until I die. Even so do I hope.