# Colas Breugnon/Chapter 6

VI
BIRDS OF PASSAGE
OR
THE SERENADE AT ASNOIS
We heard yesterday morning that Clamecy was to entertain two distinguished guests, the Demoiselle de Termes and the Comte de Maillebois; they were on their way to the Château of Asnois, where they were to stay for a month or so. The Town Council, according to usage, voted to send a delegation to our noble visitors in the name of the city, in order to offer them our congratulations on their safe arrival (as if it were a miracle to come from Paris to Nevers in a warm easy carriage without upsetting or losing your way!) It being also the custom to make a little present, the Council decided to add some cakes with icing, made in Clamecy, of which we are not a little proud. My son-in-law, Florimond Ravisé, is our principal pastry cook, so he proposed to send three dozen, which was opposed by the Council, who thought two dozen would be plenty; however, Florimond being an alderman, his views prevailed, and the cakes ​were baked at the expense of the town. Some one suggested that noble ears ought to be tickled at the same time as the palate; so in order that the exalted strangers should listen to a serenade while they were enjoying our cakes, and have all their senses charmed at once, we chose also four of our best musicians, two violas, two hautboys, a tambourine, and a flageolet player—myself. In point of fact I was not invited, but I never miss a chance to see a new face if I can help it, and I was particularly anxious to behold these Court birds of paradise with their shining plumage, and all their airs and graces; besides, I adore any novelty, wherever it comes from,—like a true son of Pandora. If I had my way I would soon take the lid off all the boxes, or souls, within my reach, black or white, thick or thin, high or low; I like to poke my nose into affairs that are none of my business, to find out secrets of the heart, and generally know all that goes on; in a word, I am devoured by curiosity, but as there is no reason, as far as I can see, why one should not add profit to pleasure, I took with me two fine carved panels, which the Seigneur of Asnois had ordered and which were easily stowed away on one of the carts provided by the town to carry the delegation, the musical instruments, and the iced cakes. My little Glodie ​went too, because she was Florimond's daughter, and it cost nothing; and another alderman took his little boy, if I remember rightly. Finally the apothecary stuck in a lot of sweetmeats, spirits, and cordials of his own manufacture; also of course at the expense of the city. Florimond was indignant, and protested with some reason; he said if every butcher, baker, and candlestick maker were to do the same, the town would be ruined; but there was no use in talking, as the other man was equally a member of the Council with himself, and as we all know, great men make laws and the rest obey them.
Our two carts were soon loaded with the Mayor, the panels, the presents, the children, four musicians, and four Councilors. I went on foot, however, for I am not yet so feeble as to be dragged about in a cart, like a calf on its way to the butcher. The weather was not quite to my liking, for the air was close and sultry, with a sun hot enough to roast you beating down on our heads, and clouds of dust and flies about us; we none of us minded, however, as we were out on a spree; Florimond was peevish, but then he is always bothering, like a girl, about his complexion.
Our worthy citizens sat up very stiff and proper as long as we could see St. Martin's tower, but ​when we got well outside the town, all formality dropped off, and left us, as you may say, in our shirt-sleeves. We cracked a few rather doubtful jokes, for that is the way we generally begin, and then there was singing; his honor the Mayor leading off, while I accompanied him on the flageolet, and the rest joined in the chorus. In the midst of all the voices and instruments I could hear my little Glodie's shrill sweet pipe like a sparrow.
We did not get on very fast, because the nags would stop on top of every hill to get their breath, and then when we came to Boychault, our scrivener, Pierre Delavau, begged us to go out of our way a little, and we could not very well say no, for he was the only Alderman who had so far asked no favors, so we had to stop to let him draw up a will for one of his clients, which was rather a long business; but no one really objected except Florimond, who this time had the apothecary on his side. All the same Master Delavau drew out the document at his leisure, and the others had to put up with it as best they could.
We got to the chateau at last;—you always do, in the end, and there were the fine Court birds just leaving the table, so the dessert we brought came in at the right moment. Down they sat and began all over again; you never saw such birds for ​eating; and now we made a brilliant entrance, for our delegation had halted outside the gates to put on their carefully folded robes, which they had been sitting on all the way to keep them from fading. The Mayor's was of bright green silk, and the others woolen of a light yellow, so that they looked like a cucumber and four pumpkins as we marched into the courtyard to the sound of our instruments. Every window in the castle was filled with heads at our approach, and our courtly guests deigned to show themselves in the doorway, all curled and beribboned, as the green and yellow Mayor and Council mounted the great staircase. We smaller fry, musicians and others, stayed behind in the yard, so that I could not hear very clearly the fine Latin discourse delivered by our notary; which mattered the less, as I do believe Master Pierre himself was the only one who did hear it. But the one thing I would not have missed for a kingdom was the sight of my darling Glodie stepping carefully upward with the basket piled high with cakes clasped tight in her little arms. She was like pictures of the Presentation. Sweetheart! I longed to hug her! Music is not the only thing which charms all heart; childhood has a spell even stronger and more universal, which causes the proudest to forget for the moment rank and ​dignity. Mademoiselle de Termes could not help smiling at Glodie, then she took her up on her knees and kissed her, and finally broke one of the famous cakes in two, ate half herself, and as she said laughing, "Open your little beak, birdie," stuck the other half into the child's rosy mouth." Hurrah for the Flower of Nevers!" I shouted, and then played a gay little phrase on my flute, which sounded like the note of a swallow. This made every one laugh, and as they all looked to see who was playing Glodie clapped her hands and said," That is my Grandad." And so Monsieur d'Asnois made a sign to me to come up, and said to those about him, "You really ought to see Breugnon, he is just the least bit cracked." (I am no more cracked than he is, but I went up as I was bid, with a fine bow to the company.)
All the time that I was bowing and scraping to right and left, I had my eye on the noble lady, hung like a slender bell-clapper in the midst of her spreading draperies; and I could not help wondering how she would look if divested of her voluminous garments,—(a bold idea for a man like me, but only an idea, of course, or you will wonder how I dared to think of such a thing), for she was tall and thin, rather dark-skinned under a thick coating of powder; her hair fell in ringlets over her ​great brown eyes shining like carbuncles; she had full red lips and a small pointed nose like a ferret; you should have seen the condescending air with which she said to me, "This charming little girl is your grandchild, they tell me."
"Madam," said I, in my best manner, "I must refer you to my son-in-law, here present, for an answer to that question; but you may be sure that as she is not made of money we do not quarrel over her,—the poor, you know, find their wealth in their children."
She was so kind as to smile at my pleasantry, and my Lord of Asnois burst out laughing. Florimond laughed too, but not so heartily, and I remained as grave as a judge. Then his Lordship and the lady deigned to enter into conversation with me about my trade, and what I made by it, for they took it for granted that I was a minstrel. I told them I made little or nothing, which was true enough, but as they had not asked me I did not say what I did for my living, but let them go on talking while I laughed in my sleeve at the airs they gave themselves, the haughty familiarity with which these fine gentlemen of rank and wealth treat us poor devils. They speak to a poor man as if he were a child, or half-witted. God has so ordered it that only the unworthy are at the bottom of the ​ladder,—(that is what they think, if they would only admit it), and therefore praise be to the Lord! who has exalted the seats of the mighty!
The Lord of Maillebois spoke to his companion as if I were not within hearing. "Madame," said he, "we may as well fill up our time and have a little talk with this fellow; he seems rather stupid, but as he goes about from one tavern to another, playing on his flageolet, he probably knows what people hereabouts are thinking."
"Hush!"
"If indeed they can be said to think at all."
So they said to me:
"Well, my man, tell us what ideas prevail in the province?"
"Ideas?" said I, as if I had never heard the word before, looking slyly at our good Lord of Asnois, who laughed to himself under his big bushy beard, but let me go on.
"Ideas do not seem to grow plentifully in this part of the country," said Maillebois with his heavy playfulness, "but I mean I want to know what the people are thinking,—are they loyal to Church and King?"
"God is great, and so is His Majesty; we are devoted to both of them."
"And how about the Princes?"
​"They too are great gentlemen."
"Do you mean that you are on their side?"
"Yes, indeed, my Lord, we are close beside them."
"In that case you must be against Concini?"
"By no means, your Lordship, we are for him also."
"But, man, you don't seem to understand that they are enemies."
"That may be—but we want both of them to succeed."
"How absurd! You have to be on one side or the other, don't you know that? Stupid!"
"Must I really, my Lord? Can't I get out of it? Well, if I must, I must, only let me think it over; a man can't make up his mind like that all in a minute!"
"Why, what in the world are you waiting for?"
"Only to know which will come out on top!"
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, you rascal! Do you mean that you have not sense enough to know light from darkness, or the King from his enemies?"
I explained with an air of perfect simplicity that I was not so blinded but that I could tell day from night, but that when it came to the King or the Princes, if I was forced to choose between them, ​I could not tell which party drank most, or did the greatest harm to the country. "Far be it from me," said I, "to speak evil of dignities. I wish them all good health and prosperity. To you too, your noble Lordship! They have fine appetites and I am something of a hearty eater myself, but to make a clean breast of it, if they must eat, I had rather it should be at some one's else expense!"
"Do you respect nothing, fellow?"
"I respect and love my own belongings."
"Don't you know that it is your duty to make sacrifices for the King, your master?"
I told him respectfully that I should be only too glad to do so if there was no way of getting out of it, but I asked him to explain to me how it happened that there were the people of France, who loved their fields and their vineyards, and there also was the King who wanted only to devour them;—I said I knew well enough that every one had his place in the world, and some were made to eat and some to be eaten; politics I had heard was the art of filling your own stomach, and that was an art reserved for the noble, and the land for the peasant. But what was a poor man to do, since he was not allowed to have an opinion? And besides, as we are all as ignorant as our father Adam, (they say that he was his Lordship's father also, but I ​could not well believe it, maybe he was only a cousin)—our business is to plow and enrich the soil, to sow and reap, to plant vines and gather grapes, make wine and bread, work in wood and stone, in cloth and leather; lay out canals and highways, erect great cathedrals and cities adorned with gardens, and embellish with carving and statues; catch sound and imprison it in the flanks of a fiddle, make ourselves masters, in short, of France, the earth and the air above us;—all to add to the pleasure of our lords. How could the people be expected to go any farther and try to grasp the high designs of kings, the quarrels of princes, with all their politics and metaphysics? No, the stick is made for beasts of burden, but which cudgel is the softest and who is to shake it over our backs, is a question too hard for us to decide; if we had the stick in our own hands for a little while it might be easier, but in the meantime there is nothing for it but patience, and to bear the blows as long as we are the anvil; some day our turn will come at the hammer! While I was talking, the Seigneur of Maillebois stood looking at me, in two minds whether to laugh or be angry; fortunately one of his equerries had seen me one day when I was with the late Duke, and he explained who I was, that I was no minstrel, but a fine sculptor and worker in wood, known far ​and wide for my talk, and somewhat of a free thinker.
The noble Lord did not seem much impressed by this information, but he showed a faint interest in my insignificant personality when his host told him that my work had been admired by princes of his acquaintance, and he soon fell into ecstasies when they showed him the fountain I had made in the courtyard. It is a girl with her skirts tucked up, holding two ducks in her apron with their wings extended; the water trickles out of their beaks;—a pretty conceit as I think it. He saw also my carved furniture and panels in the castle, which Asnois displayed with as much pride as if he had been their creator instead of being merely the man who paid for them. Maillebois expressed himself as astonished that I should bury my talent so far from Paris, and he also wondered that I should confine myself to work which showed chiefly observation and fidelity to nature; no grandeur or symbolism, nothing allegorical, both things which the critic considers essential to great sculpture. (A lord, you know, admires nothing that is not lordly.)
To which I replied with due respect, as became a country booby, that I knew my place, and was always careful to keep in it; that it would be ​presumption for a poor man like me, without knowledge or education, to attempt anything vast or sublime, and that he ought to be content with a modest place on the lowest step of Mount Parnassus, aiming only at such things as may be useful in everyday life. Utility in art should be his motto.
"Utility in art!" exclaimed his Lordship; "that is a contradiction in terms, true beauty is only found in what is useless."
"A lofty sentiment," said I, bowing, "and profoundly true; you see it everywhere, in art as well as in life; a diamond is beautiful, and so is a king, a prince, a great noble, or a flower."
On this he turned away, much pleased with so much proper feeling; but Asnois pinched me, and whispered in my ear, "Shut up, you old humbug! I don't mind if you do make a fool of this fop from Paris, but don't try anything of that sort on me, or it will be the worse for you!"
"Oh! your Lordship, how could you think me capable of such a thing? As if I would be so ungrateful to my protector, my benefactor! and not only ungrateful but foolish. Breugnon is not that kind of a fool, he knows enough to take good care of his own skin, and your Lordship is not only stronger,—that is as it should be,—but ever so ​much cleverer than I am. What chance should I have against an old fox like the Lord of Asnois, if I may venture to say so? You who get the better of young and old, gentle and simple."
Nothing is so agreeable as to be praised for talents which we do not possess; so he fairly beamed as he answered," Your tongue is long enough in all conscience, but now I should like to know what brought you here today? For I'll be bound you were after something."
"There now, what was I saying just this minute? You see through a man as if he were a pane of glass; like God Almighty, the heart has no secrets from your Lordship." Then of course I unpacked my two panels, and also something else I had brought, namely an Italian piece picked up at Mantua, representing Fortune on her wheel, which, through a mistake I am at a loss to account for, I claimed as my own. It did not excite much admiration. Then I showed a medallion of a girl's head, done by me, as the product of an Italian chisel, and it received a perfect ovation! you never heard such ohs! and ahs! The Lord of Maillebois was particularly enthusiastic; he said he could detect in this admirable work the influence of a land twice blessed by Heaven,—by Jupiter and by Jesus Christ; and the Lord of Asnois ended by giving me ​thirtysix ducats for it,—but I only got three for the Fortune!
As we were coming home that evening I told my friends a little anecdote which I thought would amuse them. The Duke of Bellegarde came some years ago to Clamecy to shoot at the popinjay, but as he was short-sighted, I was hidden behind the target, and instructed to throw down the wooden bird as soon as he fired, and in its place to substitute as quickly as possible a bird with a hole through the middle. We all laughed at this story, and then each in his turn had some such thing to tell of our noble masters. If they could only hear some of the jokes we have at their expense, they would not be quite so bored perhaps in the midst of their royal grandeur. Nothing was said, you may be sure, about the medallion till we were safe at home, and the door shut, and then Florimond was much vexed with me because I had sold the Italian piece at such a low price as my own, seeing that they had been willing to pay anything I asked for the other; but as I said, I liked to laugh at people but not to skin them; that naturally made him crosser than ever, and he wanted to know what fun I could find in cheating myself? And if there was any sport in making a mock of people unless there was something to be gained by it?
​"Florimond," said my daughter Martine gravely, "we were all like that at home, always jolly and ready for a good story. You ought not to complain of that sort of disposition, for it is much to your advantage, and it is lucky for you that the idea that I could deceive you at any moment is so amusing to me that I don't care to do it. Now don't put on that gloomy air; you know the proverb, 'No need to cry out before you are hurt.'"