# Book of Etiquette/Volume 1/Part 1/Chapter 5

CHAPTER V
WEDDINGS
THE CHURCH WEDDING
The bride and groom decide between them the church where they wish the wedding to take place and the clergyman whom they wish to officiate. When there is no religious difference between the couple the matter is a very simple one and the church which the bride's family regularly attends is the one chosen, but when he is of one faith and she of another it may assume serious proportions. If neither is inclined to yield gracefully the laws of etiquette decree that the groom should give in, not only because chivalry demands it but also because the wedding day by right and tradition belongs primarily to the bride.
The church should be decorated for the occasion but not with great elaboration. Palms, ferns, and smilax, roses, lilies and other flowers are appropriate. Ribbon also may be used effectively. White streamers are sometimes used to mark off the seats which are to be occupied by the relatives and intimate friends of the bride and groom, but there are many people who do not like to indicate so definitely the lines of demarcation among their guests.
Extravagance in any of the appointments of the wedding are in extremely bad taste. It is sometimes well to ​remember the delightful logic of the old lady who said that she did not dress better than she could afford to at home because everybody knew her and there was no use trying to impress them; and she did not dress better than she could afford when she went to the city because nobody knew her and it did not make any difference whether she impressed them or not. No set form of decoration can be given, but magnificent ornamentation is out of place in a simple chapel or church, and in every place profusion beyond one's means is not only ill-bred but foolish.
ATTENDANTS
Among the Anglo-Saxons the custom of an impressive escort for the bride had its origin. To-day it is a matter of choice, and the bride may have as many or as few as she pleases. Her maid of honor is usually her sister or her best friend and her bridesmaids are chosen from among those who are dearest to her. The groom chooses the best man and the bride and groom together select the ushers.
THE BRIDESMAIDS
Although the number of bridesmaids is entirely a matter of choice, it is the fashion at an elaborate church wedding to have not less than five nor more than ten. A maid or matron of honor, two little pages or flower girls, and, if it is desired, a third child to bear the cushion to the altar, completes the bridal train.
The bevy of bridesmaids consists of the bride's dearest friends. If she has sisters, one of them, as well as one of the bridegroom's sisters, must be included in her escort. ​For maid or matron of honor, the bride selects a sister or intimate friend.
It is sometimes customary for the bride to provide the dresses of her bridesmaids. This, however, is dependent upon circumstances and conditions, and is not really essential. It is important, though, that the bride visit each bridesmaid personally and request her services at the wedding, unless she lives at some distance.
The bride, if the wedding is to be an elaborate one, may suggest to the bridesmaids the kind of gowns she would like them to wear. The young ladies may be trusted to follow her wishes implicitly. No one would willingly mar a friend's wedding by appearing in a gown that does not agree with the general plan. The gowns need not be identical; but the colors must be the same, or at least harmonize. Light shades are always the fashion for bridesmaids. White, of course, for the bride.
The bridesmaids should be invited many weeks before the wedding so that they will have ample time for preparation. Nearly always the dress has to be made, and this takes time.
It is customary for the bridesmaids to be dressed alike or very nearly alike. The custom had its origin in primitive times when evil spirits were supposed to attend wedding ceremonies and the bride and groom were surrounded by friends of their own age and sex dressed similarly so that the spirits could not single out the happy couple for their evil designs. It is a far cry from that time to this, and the only reason why the bridesmaids are dressed similarly now is because the effect is so much prettier than could be attained by a miscellaneous array of gowns, however beautiful each one in itself might be.
They carry flowers, either cut flowers or bouquets, but ​their bouquets are never so elaborate as that carried by the bride. Usually they wear a bit of jewelry which was presented by the groom. This, too, is a curious survival of primitive marriage customs when the groom had to capture the bride, and because she was fleet-footed and wild (or perhaps because he was lazy), bribed her friends to lure her to the place where he was waiting.
REHEARSALS
Elaborate weddings should always be rehearsed at least once beforehand. In arranging these rehearsals the bride must have in mind the convenience of her attendants, and by consulting them, should settle upon a time that will be agreeable for the majority. The requests for one's presence at a rehearsal may be made verbally or by notes. Refreshments are usually served afterward at the home of the bride.
She must arrange for the opening of the church, and she should provide a way for the young ladies who are at some distance to get there. The details of the ceremony should be practiced until the whole thing can be accomplished with ease and grace. Every possible effort must be made to eliminate a stilted and wooden effect on the actual day of the wedding.
REGARDING THE USHERS
At the rehearsal they should receive careful instructions (usually from the clergyman), as a large part of the smoothness and charm of the wedding ceremony depends upon their knowledge of the right thing to do at the right time.
​On the day of the wedding, they must be at the church at least an hour before the scheduled time for the ceremony. It is part of their duty to welcome the guests and escort them to their seats. An old custom was for the usher to offer his right arm to a lady, and although it still prevails, a more accepted form is for him to welcome each guest with a smile, precede her down the aisle, and with a graceful indication, direct her to her place.
Front seats should always be reserved for the relatives and most intimate friends of both families. At most fashionable weddings, the names of the people to receive these front seats are tabulated on cards and given to the ushers. Another custom that is permissible is to mark off the number of seats in front that are to be reserved with a white ribbon, extending from aisle to aisle and terminating at the end seats with pretty bows or festoons. This manner of reserving seats for the "guests of honor" is not only effective, but is also decorative.
THE WEDDING DAY
June and October, because the weather is usually beautiful and flowers are more abundant than at other times, are the favorite months for brides, though there is not a single month out of the twelve that does not see its full quota of elaborate weddings. During Lent there are fewer than at any other time.
There is an old superstition which says that Friday is an unlucky day for a wedding, but the prejudice that rose from it has so largely been done away with that the only choice among the days of the week is that which rises from the bride's personal convenience and desire.
A wedding may take place at any hour of the day. ​Morning weddings are usually very simple. Elaborate ceremonies are usually performed at high noon or in the evening while the wedding that is neither very simple nor very elaborate (and this means most weddings) takes place in the afternoon. In a great many instances the hour has to be arranged with reference to the time the train on which the bride and groom expect to leave departs.
ARRIVING AT THE CHURCH
The wedding party should arrive promptly at the church a few minutes before the time mentioned for the ceremony. Few moments are more tensely anxious than those in which a belated member of the wedding party is awaited by the others. For this reason, it is always better to assemble at the home of the bride rather than in the vestibule of the church or elsewhere. Except the groom and best man, who await the others in the vestry and the ushers who have gone on ahead an hour or so earlier.
The bride's mother, the maid of honor and guests leave the home of the bride first. They are followed by the bridesmaids. The last to leave are the bride and her father.
The bride's mother is escorted to her place (the aisle seat of the front pew on the left side) by the head usher. Those of her children who have no part in the procession accompany her. The family of the bridegroom are similarly conducted to their reserved place, the front pew on the right side. As soon as the bridesmaids and the bridal party arrive at the door of the church, the bridegroom is informed, and the entire cortège assembles in the vestibule. The organist has previously been informed as to what musical selections are to be played, and as ​soon as he gets his cue, he strikes a chord—and while the mellow notes of the organ peal forth (usually the beautiful tones of the wedding-march from "Lohengrin") the doors at the foot of the aisle slowly swing open.
WEDDING MUSIC
The bride usually enters on Lohengrin and goes out on Mendelssohn. Throughout the ceremony, except when prayers are being said, there should be soft music and the organ should continue to play until all the guests have left the church, unless chimes are rung. In the event that there are chimes they should begin to ring as soon as the bridal party has left the church. The music for a church service may be very stately and impressive. Besides the organ stringed instruments may be employed and soloists or a choir may be asked to sing. Music is especially pleasing during the time when the guests are waiting for the wedding party to assemble.
The musical program in the home is not very different. A piano and one or two stringed instruments furnish the instrumental music while friends of the bride and groom may be requested to sing. These should be rewarded by a gift from the groom. There is a wider choice in the kind of music which may be used at the home wedding, for the beautiful secular love songs which are out of place at the church are most appropriate here.
THE WEDDING PROCESSION
The order of the wedding procession depends largely upon the number of attendants. The following arrangement is frequently observed: The ushers enter first, walk​ing slowly down the aisle two by two. The bridesmaids follow in the same manner, the maid of honor, who is unattended, comes next, followed by the bride, who leans on the arm of her father. Flower girls may precede the procession or they may walk just in front of the bride and a page or pages may be added to the group to bear the train of the bride's gown. The bride is always the last to enter and she comes alone or with whoever is to give her away at the altar.
As they reach the altar the ushers separate, one half moving to the right, the other to the left. The bridesmaids do likewise, and the maid of honor steps to the left of the bride while she and her father advance toward the space left at the foot of the altar for them. At this point the groom and best man come forward and the bride slips her hand from her father's arm and places it in the hand of the groom, who leads her to the clergyman. Her father stands at her right.
THE CEREMONY
The ceremony is performed in accordance with the rites prescribed by the religious belief of the young people who are about to be married. The clergyman is the person to consult about any embarrassing situations that might arise.
As the wedding ring is worn on the same finger that has previously worn the engagement ring the bride usually removes the latter and places it on the corresponding finger of the right hand. She may allow it to remain there after the ceremony or she may place it on the same finger with the wedding ring. It is allowable to leave the ​engagement ring in place and slip the wedding ring on over it.
A word about the ring itself. Like many another of our practices to-day its use is a survival from primitive times when women were chattels and a man's wife was his property, his slave to do with as he pleased, and the ring was of heavy iron, a sign of bondage. Not more than a decade back the ring was too heavy to be comfortable on the finger, but now it is a slender band of gold or platinum with or without scroll-work or other ornamentation, as the wearer may desire. Its symbolism is very beautiful. The precious metal is an emblem of the purity of the love between a man and his wife and the circle itself is a symbol of eternity.
Before entering the church the bride removes the glove from her left hand and she may give it with her bouquet to the maid of honor to hold during the ceremony. The practice of ripping one finger of the glove so as to leave it bare for the ring is a very foolish one and has never found favor among people of good breeding.
It is the part of the best man to look after the groom. His services may be required in connection with many of the preliminary details of the wedding even in the procuring of the license. At the wedding itself he takes charge of the ring and the clergyman's fee, giving the former to the groom just before the ceremony requires him to place it on the bride's finger.
The bride's father remains directly behind her until the clergyman asks, "Who giveth this woman to this man?" when he comes forward, takes his daughter's hand, lays it in that of the groom and says, "I do." He then turns away and retires to the pew where his wife is sitting.
LEAVING THE ALTAR
When the final blessing has been pronounced the bridal group may stand at the altar for a while receiving their friends and then break up informally, or the procession may leave the church in reverse order from that in which they entered, the bride and groom walking first together, followed by the best man and the maid of honor and the bridesmaids and the ushers walking in pairs. The automobile of the bride and groom should be waiting at the door to whisk them away to the home of the bride, where preparations are made for the wedding journey.
THROWING THE BOUQUET
It is a pretty custom for the bride to throw her bouquet among the bridesmaids (especially lovely when the wedding takes place at home and the bride turns to throw the flowers as she mounts the stairs). It is a happy omen for the young lady who catches the bouquet. She may divide it among the others or she may keep it for herself. It is not compulsory for the bride to part with the bouquet if she prefers to keep it herself. She may press the flowers or she may have rose beads made from the petals or she may dispose of it in any way she desires.
A well-known young society woman who was married recently in one of New York's most exclusive churches, ordered all the flowers used in decorations to be sent to a certain hospital to gladden the slowly dragging hours of the sufferers. She has created a precedent that every bride should be proud and happy to follow.
After all, the greatest happiness is in making others happy. The joy of the wedding day will gain a new ​sweetness when a kind deed adds to its pleasure. Rather let the sufferers in a hospital enjoy the colorful fragrance of the flowers than permit them to wilt, forgotten, in the church.
RICE, ETC.
Frequently a shower of rice follows the departing couple, and satin slippers are thrown after the car. Care must be taken not to overdo this ancient custom, for although it is considered good luck for one of the satin slippers to alight on the top of the car, it is certainly bad form to give the occasion any appearance whatsoever of vulgarity.
It is interesting to trace this custom back to its origin. Among the ancient Egyptians and Hebrews a slipper or sandal was a symbol that denoted an exchange of property. Women at that time were regarded as property, and they were given in exchange for other property. Later we find, in Anglo-Saxon marriages, that the bride's father delivers her shoe to the bridegroom, who touches her on the head with it in token of his ownership and authority. The custom prevailed, and still later we find that the idea of good luck is associated with the throwing of slippers at weddings. Rice and grain were combined with the ceremony of throwing shoes, obviously indicating a plea to the deity of Productiveness to bless the marriage with an abundant supply of nature's bounties.
To-day the custom is still in vogue. Old satin slippers and handfuls of rice are thrown after the departing couple. It would not be an objectionable custom if some over-enthusiastic individuals did not overdo it to the extent that it becomes almost riotous. After a solemn, dignified, well-ordered wedding ceremony, and a charming ​reception, it is nothing short of ridiculous to spoil it all by boisterously overdoing an old tradition. The cultured person is always well-poised, always calm—whether it be during the tense moments of the wedding-vow utterances, or the half-glad, half-sad moments of seeing the happy pair off.
THE WEDDING RECEPTION
Fashionable weddings, if not celebrated with a wedding breakfast, are followed by a reception either in the afternoon or evening. All the bridal attendants are present, and those relatives and friends who have previously received invitations.
The reception takes place in the drawing room of the bride's home. The room is decorated with flowers, and in the hall is a refreshment table on which is punch, cakes and boxes containing favors for each of the guests.
The bride and groom stand together under a floral bell and accept the congratulations and good wishes of the guests. The bride's mother and father are at the door of the drawing room to welcome them, and the parents of the groom are also ready to receive and welcome the guests as they arrive.
It is an important duty of the ushers, at the wedding reception, to introduce to the bride all those guests whom she does not know. She accepts their congratulations with a smile and a cordial word or two in acknowledgment of the introduction.
THE WEDDING BREAKFAST
Wedding breakfasts, though an old English custom, are often held after the church wedding. If it is decided ​upon, the guests to be invited should be informed at least two weeks in advance. The occasion has all the dignity and formality of a dinner party.
The bride and groom enter the dining room first. They are followed by the bride's mother and the groom's father, and the groom's mother and the bride's father. The bridesmaids and ushers are always invited to the wedding breakfast, and they follow immediately after the parents of the happy couple. The precedence of the other invited guests is arranged by the mother of the bride.
The menu at a wedding breakfast is never elaborate. Consommée or bouillon, salads, birds, ices, jellies and bonbons are the usual order. Coffee and dainty cakes are served last. The wedding cake, if one is served at all, is set before the bride.
The bride gives one-and-one-half to two hours to her guests at the wedding breakfast. Then she retires to her room, accompanied by the maid of honor and her most intimate friends among the bridesmaids; and when she appears again she is in traveling costume. The groom has also retired to change his clothes, and he meets the bride at the foot of the stairs. The motor is at the door in readiness, and after the last whispered good-bys, warm handclasps and hasty kisses—the bride and groom are off!
THE WEDDING PEESENT
The custom of giving wedding presents dates from away back in Dutch history when the relatives and friends of the bride and groom took upon themselves the responsibility of furnishing the new household.
Great taste and discrimination should be exercised in the selecting of gifts and they should be sent early. Two ​months before the wedding is not too soon. It is wise for the friends whenever possible to consult each other so that they will not duplicate gifts. If most of the silver, etc., is gotten from the same jeweler he is a great help in selecting something that is not only appropriate in itself but in harmony with the other gifts.
Anyone who receives an invitation may send the bride a gift, though it is not absolutely necessary to respond to the invitation in this way. To the question: "What shall the gift be?" the answer is the prettiest and most useful article within one's means. China and silver are always appropriate, and cut glass, linen, books, and even checks or gold pieces are most acceptable.
There is a slight prejudice against giving money as a present at a wedding or at any other time, but one has only to see the joy that the bride and groom get out of spending the money over and over again before they finally do spend it to have this prejudice dispelled.
Silver and linen are usually marked with the initials of the bride, more often than not with the initials of her maiden name. If there is any doubt as to which she prefers and one is not able to find out indirectly, it is permissible to ask her.
Gifts should always be accompanied by the cards of the donors, but these should be removed when they are placed on display.
ACKNOWLEDGING WEDDING PRESENTS
© Brown Bros.
CHURCH DECORATED FOR A FORMAL WEDDING
The decorative scheme must always be adapted to the church itself
If the honeymoon is to be only two weeks or thereabouts the bride may wait until her return to thank her friends, but if it is to be of long duration she should write the notes of acknowledgment as soon as she finds it convenient to do so. These personal notes—and a personal note is the only proper way to thank one for a wedding present—are usually written by the bride, but she should always be careful to introduce her husband's name unless the gift was a very intimate one for her alone. The following note is a graceful way for both husband and wife to express their gratitude:
   July 1, 1921,
   Dear Rosalind:
   George and I both wish to thank you for the lovely picture. When we return from Atlantic City we shall hang it in our living room where all of our friends can enjoy it with us. We hope that you will be among the first to visit us in our new home.
   Very sincerely yours, Annie Beard Hill.
Sometimes the groom receives personal gifts from friends of his. To these he writes notes of thanks in his own name.
THE HOME WEDDING
Home weddings can often be made as impressive as church weddings. With correct decorations the most ​spacious rooms in the bride's house can be transformed into an interior as lovely as the interior of a beautifully decorated church.
For instance, at a fashionable home wedding, held recently, the drawing room was decorated with massive floral wreaths and clusters of palms. A huge bell of flowers hung in the center of the room, and a canopy of flowers, occupying one corner, simulated a chapel. The effect was altogether delightful.
Only close relatives and friends should be invited to the home wedding. The bridegroom does not enter the home of the bride until a half hour before the ceremony begins, and when he does arrive, he and his best man do not mingle with the other guests but retire to an adjoining room provided for them. The clergyman also retires to this room when he arrives, and it is here that he dons his official robe. The three remain until it is announced that the bride is ready to enter the drawing room.
The bride's mother, assisted by her husband, receives the guests. It is not considered good form to begin the ceremony until they have all arrived. Then, when everything is in readiness, the bride is met at the head of the stairs by her father, and is conducted by him to the entrance of the room. Usually there is no elaborate wedding procession, and even in the most fashionable home wedding there is often only a maid or matron of honor to precede the bride. There are rarely more than half a dozen bridesmaids at most. The order of precedence is similar to that of the church wedding; the clergyman performs the ceremony under a floral canopy, and when it is completed, he steps aside and the newly married couple take his place to receive the congratulations and good wishes of the guests.
​The wedding breakfast or reception proceeds immediately upon the conclusion of the ceremony. Everyone present is a guest; and everyone present attends the reception.
THE SECOND WEDDING
When a woman marries for the second time, her wedding should be very conservative. Elaborate ceremonies would, indeed, be out of place. However, the more important conditions of the ceremony are followed very much along the same lines.
White is for the girl-bride only. The woman who marries for the second time indulges in none of the age-old customs that the first bride does. She does not wear a white veil; she does not carry orange blossoms; she does not have flower girls or pages or bridesmaids. The more inconspicuous the second wedding is, the more it is in accordance with the rules of etiquette.
The bride-for-the-second-time may have a maid of honor only on one occasion. If she has a church wedding and invites numerous guests, she may have a maid of honor to precede her to the altar. As in the first wedding, her father gives her away. Her family assumes all responsibility for the expenses involved unless she prefers to do so herself. If a reception is given after the ceremony, the same order of precedence is followed as after the first wedding; the reception may be held either in the home of the bride's parents, or in her own home.
If married in church, there are none of the elaborate decorations that characterize the first bridal, although flowers are always acceptable. Especially if the second ceremony takes place only a short time after the mourn​ing period for the first husband, any conspicuous display is in very bad taste.
SOME IMPORTANT CONVENTIONS
It is customary for a widow to remove the engagement ring and wedding ring of her first husband before the day of her second wedding. The sight of them cannot be in any way pleasant to her new husband, and they may be a source of sorrowful memory to her. It is best to discard them as soon as the second marriage is decided upon.
There has always been some doubt as to whether or not the family of the second-bride's first husband should be invited to her wedding. Absolutely. There is no reason why they should be ignored, any more than any of the other friends and acquaintances of the bride. In fact, she owes them a special courtesy, and if they accept the invitation, they must be treated with the kindest attention and courtesy. They must always occupy seats below the white ribbon, if the wedding is held at church. If there is for any reason dissension or disagreement between her and her first husband's family, she will not of course invite them. But that may only be an individual case; the general rule is to invite them and treat them with the utmost consideration.
Gifts at the second wedding will not be as elaborate as those at the first wedding. However, each gift must be acknowledged with a cordial note of thanks. In fact, all the etiquette of the first wedding is observed, except that it is on a much simpler scale.
As for the man who marries for the second time, he, too, follows the original dictates of wedding etiquette, and eliminates only the farewell bachelor dinner. Here ​also the ceremony and reception is on a considerably less extravagant style.
SEEKING ADVICE
The girl or woman who is about to be married can always get helpful suggestions from her friends who have been married or have witnessed fashionable weddings. The minister in charge is especially qualified to give you a great deal of important advice, and one should never hesitate to consult him. In his official capacity he has doubtless served at many weddings, many of them well-nigh perfect, some of them marred by the very blunders that he can teach you to avoid.
WEDDING ANNIVERSABIES
There is something strangely beautiful and poetic in the celebration of a wedding anniversary. It arouses slumbering sentiments and mellows old memories into a throbbing happiness. Here are the wedding anniversaries that are usually celebrated in our better society:
The Paper Wedding—first year.
The Wooden Wedding—fifth year.
The Tin Wedding—tenth year.
The Leather Wedding—twelfth year.
The Crystal Wedding—fifteenth year.
The China Wedding—twentieth year.
The Silver Wedding—twenty-fifth year.
The Ivory Wedding—thirtieth year.
The Woolen Wedding—fortieth year.
The Silk Wedding—forty-fifth year.
The Golden Wedding—fiftieth year.
The Diamond Wedding—seventy-fifth year.
​Although many families celebrate all of these anniversaries, it is more generally the fashion to disregard all those that come before the quarter-century mark. The first anniversary to be celebrated is usually the silver wedding. The most favored way of doing this is to have a dinner party or a reception. Sometimes, especially when there are young unmarried daughters, a dance is given and a dinner follows later.
THE SILVER WEDDING
Cards for the silver wedding reception should be printed on white or silver-gray paper. They may be printed in silver or black. They may be worded in the usual "at home" form, or may be in this form:
Mr. and Mrs. S. Brown request the pleasure of . . . . . . . . . . . .'s presence at the dinner reception of their Silver Wedding on Tuesday, June the fourteenth at seven o'clock 18971922
If an invitation like the one above is issued, the guests will undoubtedly send beautiful gifts of silver—unless, as is often the case, it is requested in the invitation that no gifts be presented. Sometimes, in fact, the bride and groom of twenty-five years commemorate their silver wedding by themselves, sending handsome gifts of silver to those who started out in married life at about the same time that they did, but who have not been materially so fortunate.
THE RECEPTION
If a reception celebrates the silver wedding, the husband assists his wife in receiving. Often the occasion begins at the precise hour at which the marriage took place; but usually the preferred time is in the late afternoon or evening. The "bridal couple" should make an effort to have as many as the original party of bridal attendants present as possible. It will be interesting for the best man and the maid of honor to have a little chat together after twenty-five years.
The husband leads the way to the dining room with his wife on his arm, and she sits at the right of him at the table. If the historic wedding cake is included in the collation, it is placed before the bride, just as it was twenty-five years ago. The table decorations should be white and silver, with a touch of green.
The menu will be the regular formal dinner menu, served and garnished with a regard for decorative effect. Speeches are in order, and a toast is usually proposed for the couple. The husband responds with a little speech in which he honors his wife, and she acknowledges with a smile that is in itself sufficient eloquence for the occasion. Tiny silver favors, packed neatly in small white boxes and tied with silver ribbon are effective novelties at the silver wedding.
TIN AND WOODEN WEDDINGS
A genera} frolic is in order at the tin wedding. It is rarely celebrated, in fact, unless the ten-year-married husband and wife wish to gather together all their old ​friends and have a jolly good time. Gifts are usually in the form of tin kitchen utensils, tin candle-sticks, tin fans, tin ornaments—even tin tables and chairs are offered as gifts to celebrate the tenth anniversary. A dinner, very much like the ordinary informal dinner except for the additional "tin" celebrations, follows the reception.
Wooden weddings are not very often held, although some very fashionable ones are recorded in the annals of social history. Rolling-pins, step-ladders, and wooden kitchen utensils cause much merriment when presented as gifts, and the occasion is generally one of much pleasant raillery. Wooden ornaments make very appropriate gifts for this wedding, and a bit of wood artistically carved is always welcome to the five-year bride who loves pretty things for the home.
THE GOLDEN WEDDING
To have lived fifty years together, to have shared for fifty years each other's sorrows, joys and hopes, is to have enjoyed one of the greatest gifts life has to offer. It is an occasion well worthy of the most elaborate celebration.
A golden wedding has a touch of the romantic, a touch of the sentimental about it. Poets like to write about it; people like to dream about it. When it becomes a reality, all the world likes to watch—and wonder. It is a solemn and dignified event and should be treated as an occasion of the utmost importance.
The couple should issue pure white cards engraved in gold, announcing the celebration of the fiftieth anniversary of their wedding day. It is touching to have the maid of honor and the best man present, if they are both still living. As many of the original bridal attendants as are ​available should be invited, and all the old friends and acquaintances of the family. There must be no levity, the couple must be treated with reverence and honor, and the occasion must be given every appearance of dignified importance.
Unlike the silver wedding, gifts are always presented to the aged couple at the golden wedding. Delicate pieces of gold jewelry are always pleasing to the "bride." The "groom" may be presented with gold shirt-studs, cuff-links or rings. Gold services, gold chased cups, golden goblets and golden candle sticks are most appropriate.
The dinner should be elaborate. A huge wedding cake, inscribed with a frosting of the surnames and wedding date of the couple is worthy of holding the place of honor in the center of the table. Once again the "bride" enjoys the privilege of being the first to cut the cake—and in or with each slice that is given to the guests there should be some little golden token, a ring or thimble or tiny jewel box. If this is too costly, a golden flower such as a daffodil may be placed on each plate.
A beautiful and touching sentiment to be observed on the golden wedding is for the bride to wear something from her wedding day. Perhaps it is a treasured bit of the bridal veil. Perhaps it is a fan, or a pair of gloves, or even the wedding dress itself. She also carries a bouquet of white flowers—as she did fifty years ago on her first wedding day.
THE GOLDEN WEDDING A GLORIOUS ACHIEVEMENT
Beautiful indeed is the celebration of the golden wedding. With her children and grandchildren and friends grouped around her, with her husband at her side, ​doing her every honor he might pay a newly-won bride, the bride of fifty years can be naught but inexpressibly happy—though memories of lost youth rise constantly to haunt her. It is glorious—this reaching fifty years of married life—and any couple may well be proud to commemorate its occasion.
And, after all, isn't it happiness that makes life worth while? Of what use is wealth and power and position if we cannot have the ones we love, the ones who love us. The man and woman who have lived together in happy companionship for fifty years have more in their love of each other than the man who has lived alone for fifty years and amassed tremendous riches.