# Yellow Submarine (film)

Yellow Submarine is a 1968 British animated film designed to present The Beatles music set to various images. Directed by George Dunning and written by Al Brodax and Jack Mendelsohn.

## Ringo Starr

* Woe is me, heh...Liverpool can be a lonely place on a Saturday night, and this is only Thursday morning.
* I'd jump into the river Mersey, but it looks like rain. [sighs] Nothing ever happens to me.
* I could have sworn I was being followed by a yellow submarine...But that isn't logical now, is it? It must have been one of them unidentified flying cupcakes, or a figment of me imagination...But I don't have an imagination.
* [to John] I warned you not to eat on an empty stomach. Just listen to Old Fred.
* Help! "H" is for hurry! [later] Help! "E" is for ergent! [later] Help! "L" is for love me! [later, while being chased by an injun] Help! "P" is for please!
* [regarding Jeremy] He's so smart, he doesn't even remember what he knows.

## The Chief Blue Meanie

* Glove, Glove, come here, Glove. Look out there, and what do you see? Tell him, Max. [Max: Someone running, Glove.] Yes. Well, you'll soon put a stop to that, won't you, Glovey? Go, Glove! Point, and having pointed, POUNCE! GO!
* Oh, I haven't laughed so much since Pompeii!
* What?! WHAT?! WHAT?! THE GLOVE'S LOSING HIS TOUCH! [knocks down Max and runs up to the exploding clown] DO YOUR WORST! [laughing mad] Explode them!
* A thing of beauty...DESTROY IT FOREVER!
** A pun on the opening line of the John Keats poem Endymion: "A thing of beauty is a joy forever."
* My dear friend... [one of the Blue Meanies nods to the audience] let us not forget that heaven is blue...TOMORROW THE WORLD!!! Bring in my bloopers...
* Ah, here you are, my glovey-dovey. Go get thee hence, and destroy yon upstarts. SMASH THEM! SQUASH THEM! CRUSH THEM! O-blue-terate them!

## Jeremy Hillary Boob , Ph.D, the Nowhere Man

* Ad hoc, ad loc, and quid pro quo! So little time. So much to know!
* [writing with his foot] The footnotes for my 19th book! This is my standard procedure for doing it; and while I compose it, I'm also reviewing it!
* Yes! Ah, "yes" is a word with a glorious ring! A true universal, euphonious thing! Engenders embracing and chasing of blues! The very best word for the whole world to use!

## John Lennon

* [after transforming from a Frankenstein's monster] Hey Ringo, I've just had the strangest dream.
* It's time for time. [raises eyebrows repetitively]
* I'm the ego-man, goo goo g'joob.

## Dialogue

    [First lines]
    The Narrator: Once upon a time, or maybe twice, there was an unearthly paradise called Pepperland. 80,000 leagues beneath the sea it lay, or lie. I'm not too sure.
    The Chief Blue Meanie: Pepperland is a tickle of joy upon the blue belly of the universe...it must be scratched. Right, Max?
    Max: [saluting] Yes, Your Blueness!
    The Chief Blue Meanie: WHAAAAAAT?!?! [grabs Max by his ears] We Meanies only take NO for an answer! [drops down Max] IS THAT UNDERSTOOD, MAX?!
    Max: No, Your Blueness!
    The Chief Blue Meanie: That's better. Are the troops in readiness?
    Max: No, Your Blueness!
    The Chief Blue Meanie: The Bonkers?
    Max: No!
    The Chief Blue Meanie: Clowns?
    Max: No!
    The Chief Blue Meanie: Snapping Turks?
    Max: No!
    The Chief Blue Meanie: Anti-Music Missile?
    Max: No!
    The Chief Blue Meanie: The Dreadful Flying Glove?
    Max: No!
    The Chief Blue Meanie: Splendid! Today, Pepperland goes blue-y! FIRE!
    [Anti-Music Missile is fired, encasing Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band in a giant bubble. General panic ensues]
    [In a room full of trophies]
    Old Fred: Hey, what would your friends be doing here?
    Ringo: Displaying.
    Old Fred: Displaying what?
    Ringo: Displaying around.
    [Vaudeville rimshot music plays]
    Old Fred: Oh, Frankenstein!
    Ringo: Yeah, I used to go out with his sister.
    Old Fred: His sister?
    Ringo: Yeah, Phyllis. Hey. I wonder what would happen if I pull this lever.
    Old Fred: Oh, you mustn't do that!
    Ringo: Can't help it, I'm a born Lever-puller. [pulls the lever]
    [The light of electricity flies around and explodes on top of Old Fred, who is unharmed. Then the monster of Frankenstein awakens, climbs out of the table, roars, drinks one of the chemicals, then suddenly turns into John Lennon]
    John: Hey, Ringo, I've just had the strangest dream.
    Ringo: I warned you not to eat on an empty stomach. Now listen to Old Fred.
    Old Fred: [speaking gibberish] Submarine! Explosions! Blue Meanies! [calmer] What do you think?
    John: [to Ringo] I think he needs a rehearsal.
   * "Lever-puller" is a pun on "Liverpooler", as Ringo and indeed all the Beatles are. (The usual term for people from Liverpool, England is "Liverpudlian".)
    Ringo: George, what are you doing up there?
    George: [driving in Ringo's car] Now, what is it, Ringo? Is there a matter you'd like to take up... [drives up] or down?
    Ringo: [indicating Old Fred] This chap, here.
    Old Fred: [crazy gibberish] Submarines! Explosions! Blue Meanies!
    Ringo and John: [along with Old Fred] Blue Meanies!
    George: Aw, you're nuts, the pair of ya. [drives off]
    Ringo: Whoa, hold on, that's my car, lad.
    George: How do you know it's your car, lad?
    Ringo: I know it anywhere.
    George: What's it like, then?
    Ringo: Red with yellow wheels. [the car changes colors] I mean blue with orange wheels.
    [The car changes colors again]
    George: [stops the car] It's all in the mind.
    [They all climbed in]
    Ringo: Move over, I'm driving.
    George: No, I got here first.
    Ringo: We'll drive if you like.
    George: No, you sit in the middle.
    John: No, I'm sitting in the middle.
    George: Who said you were driving?
    Ringo: I am driving.
    George: I'll get in the back, then.
    [They drive off camera. Then after 10 seconds, the crash was heard offscreen for about 20 seconds. And after the sound of the pipes clanging, they rush up to one of the doors, where John opens the door. There was King Kong breaking his hand through the window and pulls the bed with the woman who wakes up with a scream]
    George: Do you think we're interrupting something?
    John: I think so. [closes the door]
    [Ringo opens the door to see the cheering people offscreen, then closes the door]
    George: Yes, dey do look very nice, don't dey?
    Ringo: Yes, dey do.
    John: Dey do dough, don't dey?
    George: Yes, dey do.
    Ringo: Don't dey, dough?
    George: Dough?
    [Paul emerges from the same door]
    John: Fa-la. Dat dough!
    Paul: [while receiving a bouquet] What's the matter, fellas? Blue Meanies?
    Old Fred: Well, lads, what do you think?
    John: Well, I think that-
    Old Fred: Remember, there'll be rough seas ahead! What do you think?
    Paul: Well, erm-
    Old Fred: Pounding, overwhelming waves! What do you think of that, eh?
    George: Well, I think that-
    Ringo: As a matter of fact, I-
    All: Well, I think-
    Old Fred: Well?
    All: I've forgotten.
    Old Fred: All right then. Let's get this vessel shipshape.
    George: I kind of like it the way it is. Submarine shape.
    [They all enter the Submarine and take off]
    Old Fred: I don't mean to alarm you, mates, but the years are going backwards!
    George: What's that mean, Old Fred?
    Old Fred: It means if we slip back in time at this rate, very soon we'll all disappear up our own existence!
    [Passing themselves as they go backwards in time]
    Ringo: Look, there's another yellow submarine...and they're waving at us.
    John: Wave back.
    [They did so]
    George: Maybe we're both part of a vast yellow submarine fleet.
    Ringo: There's only two of us.
    John: Well, then, I would suggest that yonder yellow submarine is none other than ourselves...
    Old Fred: Going backwards.
    John: In time.
    George: Hey! There's a Cyclops!
    Paul: Can't be. It's got two eyes.
    John: Must be a "bi-cyclops" then.
    Ringo: There's another one.
    John: A whole "cyclopedia"!
    Paul: Look, it's a school of whales.
    Ringo: They look a little bit old for school.
    Paul: University then.
    Ringo: University of whales. [sits down]
    John: They look like drop-outs to me.
    Old Fred: You've got to steer clear!
    Ringo: [does so] Steer clear?
    Old Fred: Yes, steer clear!
    Ringo: Yes, steer. [presses one of the buttons]
    [The Yellow Submarine appears to have a similar whale's smile, causing the school of whales laugh and swim away]
    Old Fred: Now whatever you do, don't touch that button!
    Ringo: Which button?
    Old Fred: That button.
    Ringo: This button? [presses another button, but accidentally ejects himself out of the submarine while screaming]
    Old Fred: [from inside the submarine] Oop. That was the panic button.
    [Now Ringo has landed on the running animal, giving him wild rides]
    Paul: Poor Ringo.
    George: Poor lad.
    Paul: Never did no harm to no one.
    John: Hey, lads, now that Ringo's gone, what do we do?
    Old Fred: Learn to sing trios.
    Paul: Nah, let's save the poor devil.
    George: Is that the motor?
    Fred: Can't you tell one when you see one?
    George: Course I can, let me peruse it. [pokes the motor and electrocutes himself]
    John: Well, what do you think?
    George: I think I burnt me finger...
    Jeremy: Medic, pedic, zed oblique, orphic, morphic, dorphic, Greek. Ad hoc, ad loc and quid pro quo, so little time, ha-ha, so much to know!
    John: Well, can you tell us where we're at?
    Jeremy: A true Socratic query, that!
    John: Oh yeah? And who the Billy Shears are you?
    Jeremy: Who? Ah, who indeed am I? [hands out several business card to the Beatles]
    John: 'Jeremy?'
    Paul: 'Hillary?'
    George: 'Boob?'
    Ringo: 'P'hhhhhhd.'
    All: Who?
    Jeremy: Eminent physicist, polyglot, classicist, prize-winning botanist, hard-biting satirist, talented pianist. Good dentist too. Ha-ha!
    George: Lousy poet.
    Jeremy: Critic's voice, take your choice.
    Ringo: Must be one of them angry young men.
    Paul: Or a daffy old creep.
    Jeremy: I, daffy old creep?
    John: You speak English?
    Jeremy: Old English, middle, a dialect, pure.
    Paul: Well, do you speak English?
    Jeremy: You know, I'm not sure!
    Ringo: He's so smart, he doesn't even remember what he knows.
    Jeremy: I must complete my bust, two novels, finish my blueprints, begin my beguine.
    John: Hey, Jeremy, must you always talk in rhyme?
    Jeremy: Ha-ha! If I spoke prose, you'd all find out, I don't know what I talk about. Ad hoc, ad loc and quid pro quo. So little time, so much to know.
    Paul: Hey, fellas. Look.
    Jeremy: The footnotes for my 19th book. This is my standard procedure for doing it. And while I compose it, I'm also reviewing it.
    George: A Boob for all seasons.
    Paul: How can he lose?
    John: Were your notices good?
    Jeremy: It's my policy never to read my reviews!
    [In the Sea of Holes]
    John: This place reminds me of Blackburn, Lancashire.
    Paul: Oh boy...
   * A reference to their song, A Day in the Life
    John: If I could come in, here, I think the theory put forward by Einstein.
    Paul: [singing, to the tune of "Any Old Iron"] Any old Ein, any old Ein, any any any old Einstein.
    John: Could well be applied here. The people in the ball are obviously extensions of our own personalities, suspended, as it were, in time, frozen in space.
    George: Uh, John.
    John: According to the now-famous theory of relativity.
    [Ringo, Paul, and George tried breaking the glass with one of the chairs]
    George: John.
    [They run offscreen]
    John: Which, briefly explained, is simply a matter of taking two eggs.
    George: [offscreen] John!
    [They charge at the glass with one of the columns, but it bounces with a bang]
    John: Beating lightly, and adding a little salt and pepper to taste.
    George: John!
    John: [annoyed] George.
    George: How do we get them out?
    John: Break the glass.
    Paul: We can't!
    Ringo: It's Beatle-proof.
    John: Nothing is Beatle-proof.
    The Chief Blue Meanie: Get back! Get back! Once more unto the breach, dear Meanies! You're advancing the wrong way! Retreat backwards! Get back there now! [begins to cry] My kingdom for a horse! [stops crying when he confronts Jeremy] I think I'll tear him up into little pieces.
    Jeremy: Oh, he does, does he?
    The Chief Blue Meanie: Yes, I think I'll make a blueburger out of him.
    Jeremy: I don't care what you think. [tries to leave]
    The Chief Blue Meanie: Oh, you don't, eh?! [grabs Jeremy] We'll soon see about that!
    Jeremy: [while being cornered] He does, in truth, seem quite annoyed. Some reference material be-be-before I'm destroyed! [reading from his book] "Where ground is soft most often grows, arise! Arise! Arouse! A rose! [a rose sprouts on the Chief Blue Meanie's nose] A rosy nose?
    The Chief Blue Meanie: [throws Jeremy down in anger] Speak your last piece!
    Jeremy: Peace! Peace! Supplant the doom and the gloom! Turn off what is sour! Turn into a flower and bloom! Bloom! Bloom! [roses sprout all over the Chief Blue Meanie] Bloom! Bloom! Bloom! Bloom! Bloom!
    The Chief Blue Meanie: [now very upset] I'LL TEAR YOU TO PIECES!!! [screams as he is now covered himself with roses, and runs away with the rest of the Meanies]
    [Jeremy is dancing among the flowers]
    Ringo: [to John, about Jeremy] First time I saw that Nowhere Man, that Nobody, "I" knew he was Somebody.
    John: You're right. [calling out to the Blue Meanies] Hello, there, blue people! Won't you join us?! Hook up, and otherwise co-mingle?! What do you say?!
    The Chief Blue Meanie: [now depressed] Max.
    Max: Your Blue - uh, I mean, er, Your Newness?
    The Chief Blue Meanie: It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?
    Max: Argentina?
    John: Are you with us?! Will you join?!
    [As Jeremy runs up to the Meanies]
    The Chief Blue Meanie: [to Max while giving in] Shall we?
    Max: [nodding] No!
    The Chief Blue Meanie: [threatening] AAAARRRGGGGHHH!!!!!! [grabs Max's ears]
    Max: [hastily] N-N-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes, Your Newness!
    The Chief Blue Meanie: [drops him; now happily] Yes, Max!
    Jeremy: [arriving] Yes! Ah, yes is a word with a glorious ring! [shakes hand with the Chief Blue Meanie] A true universal utopious thing! [helps Max up] Engenders embracing and chasing of blues, the very best word for the whole world to use! [dances away merrily]
    The Chief Blue Meanie: Yes, let us mix, Max. [Max nodded] I've never admitted it before, but my cousin is the Bluebird of Happiness!

## Taglines

* The forces of good! The forces of evil!
* It's all in the mind, y'know!
* Nothing is real.

## See also

* The Beatles

## External links

* Yellow Submarine quotes at the Internet Movie Database