# Free Birds

Free Birds is a 2013 American 3D computer-animated buddy comedy film starring the voices of Owen Wilson, Woody Harrelson and Amy Poehler. The movie's about two turkeys going back in time to the first Thanksgiving to get turkeys off the menu. It was produced by Reel FX Creative Studios as its first theatrical fully animated feature film. The film was released on November 1, 2013, by Relativity Media. The film received negative reviews from critics and earned $110,000,000 on a $55,000,000 budget.

## Dialogue

    The following film is a work of fiction. It is loosely based on historical events and is in no way meant to be historically accurate. Except for the talking turkeys. That part is totally real.
    Reggie (voice-over): Holidays, the whole world loves them. [chuckles] That's why there are so many. (Includes, New Years. Halloween.) Christmas. Easter. Hanukkah. The one thing they all have in common... food, like Thanksgiving. That's what it's all about. A time to sit down over the holiday meal. [a family is having a Thanksgiving Dinner with a roasted Turkey] It's everyone's favorite part. [unknown to the family, they are being watched by a horrified domestic turkey named Reggie] Unless of course, you are the meal.
    Reggie: [screams in horror to see the farmer cutting up the Turkey, pants, then, resumes screaming]
    Reggie (voice-over): My name is Reggie, by the way. [Reggie in reality continues to scream in fear] I'm the turkey screaming for his life.
    Reggie: Ah! Ah! [runs back to the farm]
    Reggie (voice-over): Thanksgiving is a turkey's (number 1) worst nightmare. And trust me, I've tried to warn them.
    [Reggie in reality hops on a fence post]
    Reggie: You don't get it! They're fattening us up so they can eat us!
    Elder Turkey: Our world is made of corn. [grabs leaf] Leafy corn. [has corn in hand] Corn corn.
    [Elder Turkey waves hand at sun]
    Elder Turkey: Fire corn!
    Reggie: That's an awesome theory, but I think they actually call that the Sun.
    Elder Turkey: [pauses] Out. Out!
    Reggie: Ow! What are you doing?
    Jake: Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. We must attack the fort (and free those captured comrades) tonight.
    Reggie: Ah! Oh! Ah! Ow! (Jenny's father said:) We shouldn't attack anything. (That includes the fort.)
    Jake: He told me we must do it together.
    Reggie: Oh! Give me a break. He? The Great Turkey? [sarcastically] Ooh! He's a voice inside your head. [Jake turns around to him, feeling insulted]
    Jake: How dare you. There is nothing inside my head. The Great Turkey is real. [Reggie shakes his head in annoyance] I saw him with my own two eyes.
    Reggie: The more you say that name, the dumber it sounds. I mean-- [Jake angrily grabs him in the neck]
    Jake: The Great Turkey is the greatest turkey that I know and you will never be as great as The Great Turkey who is the greatest... turkey.
    Reggie: [chokingly] Okay. [Jake realizes & lets go of his neck]
    Jake: I'm sorry, Reggie. I didn't grow up on a nice free-range farm. I grew up in a cold, clinical factory. From the time we were born, we were fattened up on formula. Except for me. My mother kept me hidden from the humans.
    Young Jake in memory: Is it time?
    Jake's Mom in memory: Yes, sweetie. Now, these eggs are our future, Jake. Take them and run and don't stop until you find a safe place to start a new flock.
    Young Jake in memory: Mama, I'm scared.
    Jake: I failed. I let down my family, and my flock. I decided I was better off going it alone where I could never hurt anyone again. (Can't think about my failure & feeling awful) Then, he arrived. The Great Turkey.
    Ranger: I knew he was a coward.
    [the Chief sacrificing himself to save the flock when the pilgrim's attack. He's trapped underneath flaming debris and instructs his daughter to go without him]
    Chief Broadbeak: GO! Join the others!
    Jenny: Not without you!
    Chief Broadbeak: [softly] Jenny...
    Jenny: Daddy!
    Chief Broadbeak: I'll always be with you.
    Jenny: My father loved this flock. And he will always be a part of it. He gave his life to give us ours. [Reggie starts to leave out of guilt] So, we will honor him. [Reggie sadly looks back at Jenny] But right now, we need to do what we must to survive.
    Reggie: [sadly] This is all my fault.
    Jenny: They have taken our home. They've taken our family. [Jake realizes Reggie is gone] We have only one choice now. We will fight! We will stand and fight! This is our home! No more hiding! We will attack the fort, free our family and make our flock whole once again! Who's with me!?
    Ranger: We fight!
    Danny: We fight, brother! [the flock chants as Jake runs after Reggie, meanwhile Reggie sadly walks through the forest to get to STEVE]
    STEVE: Good morning, Reggie. Why the long face? That is a punch line from a joke.
    Reggie: Just take me home.
    Jake: Reggie, wait! The flock is in trouble!
    Reggie: [angrily] Yup. (They are all in grave danger.) And you know why? Because of us! We didn't save anyone. We made everything worse.
    Jake: But, Reggie, the Great Turkey told me—
    Reggie: [angrily moves Jake's wings off of him] There is no Great Turkey! There is no mission. You made it all up in your head. It's all a lie. [Jake slumps] Now, I'm leaving, alright? Before we mess things up even more! And if you're smart, you'll come with me.
    Jake: [close to tears] I can't give up.
    Reggie: Yeah. If you're smart. [turns his back on Jake and enters STEVE sits on the seat] Look who I'm talking to.
    [STEVE and Reggie disappears back into the present, leaving the disheartened Jake behind]
    Reggie: [sighs in remorse as he goes back inside] See you later, STEVE.
    STEVE: Goodbye, Reggie.
    [Reggie sadly opens the door]
    Reggie: [gasps softly to see a Future Reggie]
    Future Reggie: Hey. (Hold on right there.)
    Reggie: [screams as he slams the door in fear trying to keep it shut]
    Future Reggie: [inside the house] Hey, hey, hey! Wait! Wait!
    Reggie: [strains to keep the door shut, but accidentally pulls the door knob off & sees his future self coming out]
    Future Reggie: Snap out of it Reggie, we don't have time for this.
    Reggie: Ah! [turns to run away with Future Reggie chasing him]
    Future Reggie: Hey! [tackles Reggie and gets him up] I'm breaking like a hundred time travel rules, and this might destroy the universe, but I don't have a choice. I've come back from the future to tell you something really important.
    Reggie: What is it? [brief pause]
    Future Reggie: You're an idiot.
    Reggie: Whoa! That's a little harsh. I may not be a genius but...
    Future Reggie: Everything you want is back in 1621. Jenny, Jake, a whole flock of friends.
    Reggie: Yeah, a flock that I totally messed up. They're better off without me.
    Future Reggie 2: No! [comes out of the bushes]
    Future Reggie: Wow! [jumps in surprise along with Reggie who yelps]
    Future Reggie 2: I've come from even farther in the future to tell you that Jenny and the flock are gonna attack the fort. They don't stand a chance.
    Reggie: Oh, no. What do we do?
    Future Reggie: We need a plan.
    Reggie: Exactly. [the Sacred Time Knob shines in his wing] Whoa. The Sacred Time Knob.
    Future Reggie 2: The Sacred Time Knob!
    Future Reggie: The Sacred Time Knob:
    Reggie: [realizes] Wait.
    Future Reggie 2: Yeah?
    Reggie: You know what this means?
    Future Reggie: What does it mean?
    Reggie: [laughs about the Sacred Time Knob] It's so simple. It means... I... need to go find The Great Turkey. I bet he's behind the door that this opens!
    STEVE: Oh, come on! [Reggie turns around to STEVE in confusion] You are The Great Turkey.
    Reggie: [amazed] I'm The Great Turkey?
    Future Reggie & Future Reggie 2: You're The Great Turkey. [Future Reggie & Future Reggie 2 look at each other happily]
    Reggie: Which means Jake was telling the truth the whole time! Wow, I really am an idiot!
    Future Reggie: I hate to say I told you so.
    Reggie: Wait, if I'm an idiot, then you're an idiot. [Future Reggie nods in agreement]
    Future Reggie 2: No, no, guys, guys, guys, technically, we're all idiots. But we're also all...
    Reggie, Future Reggie, & Future Reggie 2: The Great Turkey!
    Future Reggie: My mind is being literally blown right now!
    Future Reggie 3: [comes out of the bushes] Mine, too!
    Reggie, Future Reggie, & Future Reggie 2: Ah!
    Future Reggie 3: I came back to make sure we stop and appreciate just how awesome this is.
    Jenny: Where's Reggie?
    [Jake saddened down]
    Reggie: Are you sure you won't stay here with the flock?
    Jake: I'm a turkey of action, Reggie.
    Reggie: Well, I guess this is good-bye.
    Jake: No, Reggie. Good-byes are just hellos, carried across the wind until our paths... intersect once again.
    Reggie: That's beautiful… and confusing. Jake, Reggie, & Jenny: [laugh as Jake hugs Reggie & pats him on the head when he starts to leave with STEVE]
    Jake: Wild, undomesticated turkeys of the past. I'll never forget you. [the flock, Reggie & Jenny wave good-bye to Jake & STEVE as Jake sits on the seat]
    STEVE: Where would you like to go, Jake?
    Jake: Wherever we are needed, STEVE. Wherever we are needed. [Jake & STEVE leave as Reggie and Jenny watch]
    Reggie: [to Jenny] So, this is Turkey Paradise. [romantically kisses her, much to her amazement & her left eye drops]
    Jenny: [sighs in amazement] Wow, you're moving pretty fast for a Pisces. Whatever that is.
    STEVE: Oh my. [zaps into black]

## Taglines

* On Nov. 1, hang on to your nuggets
* The greatest turkey movie of all time.
* Changing the main course of history
* The Past Intersect

## Cast

* Owen Wilson — Reggie
* Woody Harrelson — Jake
* Amy Poehler — Jenny
* George Takei — Space Time Exploration Vehicle Envoy (STEVE)
* Colm Meaney — Captain Standish
* Keith David — Chief Broadbeak
* Dan Fogler — Governor Bradford
* Jimmy Hayward — Ranger, Leatherbeak, The President, Hazmat #2
* Carlos Alazraqui — Amos
* Kaitlyn Maher — The President's Daughter
* Jeff Biancalana — General Sagan, Hazmat #1
* Danny Carey — Danny
* Carlos Ponce — Alejandro, Narrator
* Robert Beltran — Chief Massasoit
* Lesley Nicol — Pilgrim Woman
* Jason Finazzo — Chrononaut One
* Scott Mosier — Pizza Dude
* Lauren Bowles — Jake's Mom
* Dwight Howard — Cold Turkey
* Josh Lawson — Gus

### Additional Voices

* Jeff Biancalana
* Jason Finazzo
* Jimmy Hayward
* Scott Mosier