# Crank (film)

Crank is a 2006 action/thriller film about Chev Chelios, a British hit man living in Los Angeles, who gets injected with poison by an rival hit man and only has a few hours left to live. For his last hours he plans to have his revenge on the people who injected him with the poison.
    Written and directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor.
    See also:
       Crank: High Voltage

## Chev

* Don't pop a blood vessel you little penis.
* [After chopping Ricky Verona's brother's hand off ] You like that tough guy? How frickin awesome was that, huh?
* Yeah, blah, blah, fuckin´ blah you little mug!
* Bonjour, Douchebag!
* Who want's some white meat now?

## Ricky Verona

* [Chev Chelios wakes up extremely disoriented in his apartment, finds a recorded DVD with "FUCK YOU" written on it, then proceeds to play it with Ricky Verona appearing] Are we spinning yet? Good. Chelios! How are you doing, baby?! You never call me no more! Where's the love, huh? Now, how are you feeling? I can guess it! If you're feeling like shit right about now, you can't move! You can't move too quickly, you can't breathe what's the matter with you dude?! Oh wait, wait, wait! What is this?! [Ricky Verona holds up a syringe filled with an unknown poison] Holy fuck! Can you guess what this is? Look at your bed Chelios. [Camera turns to a sleeping Chelios] Hold on, check this out! [Verona leans over Chelios, as he begins to inject him with the poison] Oh! This is plain sick, man! I must be the motherfucking genius of sick! Poison Chev Chelios in his sleep? That's like some Shakespeare or some shit. You knocked this dude out pretty good! About to get you a spot on the Dodgers, son. Maybe you don't understand what just happened. I just fucking killed you. Try not to embarrass yourself because you're on 'Candid Camera'! This shit here I gave you! This is some... high-tech' sci-fi, Chinese synthetic bullshit! I don't exactly know what's in this shit, dude! All I know is that once this shit has binded with your blood cells, you're fucked, baby, and believe me it's binded. Yeah' you got yourself about an hour' max. Tick-tock. Yeah, baby... sexy... Oh' it's been real. This shit's been real. You should've thought twice before you whacked Don Kim. Experiencing a little 20/20 hindsight? I thought so. Now' you have yourself a nice death. Asshole! You like that' huh? Home run! [Chev Chelios immediately destroys the television set in a fit of rage]
* Fuck you Chelios!
* Yeah, whatever psycho!

## Dialogue

    Orlando: Yo, Chevy...
    Chev: Where's Verona? Talk!
    Orlando: What about?!
    Chev: Don't fuck with me!
    Orlando: I'm not! Just calm down!
    Chev: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Orlando: Fuck, man!
    Henchman: Orlando? You all right? Hey, there's a white nigger with a gun up in here!
    Orlando: Just be still, motherfuckers! You see that? I'm trying to help you here, man.
    Chev: I gotta find Ricky Verona.
    Orlando: Why would I know where Verona is?
    Chev: [All henchman come thronging into washroom pointing all their guns at Chev] Yeah, yeah. You don't know, but you're gonna tell me. Or I'm gonna blow your brains into the fuckin' toilet! I'm gonna fucking kill him!
    Orlando: Whoa! Put your guns down! The white man is cool! The white man is... The white man is cool! Y'all like them Somalia niggers. Now look, Chevy came here to discuss something. We gonna discuss this shit in a civilized manner. Chevy? You had a question? Or a point to make?
    Chev: Where's Verona?
    Orlando: Okay, I'm not affiliated with Ricky Verona. You pulled the Anselmo job together.
    Chev: Don't fuckin' bullshit me!
    Orlando: Easy! Easy! Easy! All right? Look, you're operating under a false pretence. Ricky and I did not pull... the Anslemo job together. Ricky fucked me on the Anselmo job. In fact, Ricky Verona still owes me $7,5000.
    Chev: Not how I heard it.
    Orlando: But that's the way it is. So, you see, I don't know where Verona is. If I did, I'd probably be there right now, beating the Gucci off his ass.
    Chev: All right. All right. That's what I'm talking about. That's almost civilized.
    Orlando: Shit, dude. What's wrong with you?
    Chev: Just give me some coke. You got any coke?
    Orlando: Now you're gonna insult me.
    Chev: Come on, I don't have time! Just give me something. I'm really dying, here.
    Orlando: I can see that.
    Chev: I'm really fucking dying!
    Ọrlạṇdo: You saying this is medicinal-use coke?
    Çhev: Ṭhạṭ's rịght.
    Orlando: Well?!
    Chev: What?!
    Orlando: This shit ain't free, nigga. [Chev throws out some dollar bills] That's enough. [Chev opens coke bag spilling contents on floor] What, you gonna do the shit right here? Oh' God! Chevy... What the... oh, that's good, that's good. That's good' right? Why you looking for Verona' anyway?
    Chev: Some Chinese assholes hired him to kill me. This is about Don Kim. What do you know about it?
    Orlando: I know you pulled the trigger.
    Chev: Of course' I pulled the trigger. Why wouldn't I pull the fuckin' trigger?
    Orlando: Whoa... yo, Chelios, you good?
    Chev: This shit ain't working.
    Orlando: Excuse me?
    Chev: I know what I have to do.
    Orlando: Well, shit. A man's got to do what a man's got to do. What is it you gotta do?
    Chev: I gotta kick some black ass.
    Orlando: What?! Shit! There he goes again.
    Chev: Who wants white meat?! [Chev fights Orlando's associates while going to his car and drives off]
    Orlando's associates: You ain't got shit, motherfucker! Put that fuckin' twig down, bitch! Faggot! Get the fuck out of here, bitch!
    Chev: [Answers phone] Doc? What's up, Doc?
    Ricky: You motherfucker! Why aren't you dead yet?! What the fuck you doing?!
    Chev: Coming for you. Fucking believe me. Whatever.
    Ricky: I'll be waiting, but you won't make it. You should know that I'm all about hooking up with that mystery girl, you've been banging. Soon as you're underground. I forgot to say so on that gay James Bond tape I left.
    Chev: What' and then you're gonna rape my grandmother? Blah blah fuckin' blah you lịttle mug. You listen to me. What do you think Carlito will do when he finds out what you did? Your whole crew is history!
    Pursuing police cruiser: Driver, pull over!
    Chev: Fuck! Great.
    Ricky: You talking about Carlito? Because me and Carlito, we're boys now. We're tight.
    Chev: Tight, like when your brother fucked you in 3rd grade?
    Ricky: That's snappy. But I did you pretty good, didn't I Chelios? Admit it. We'll see.
    Pursuing police cruiser: Pull over!
    Chev: Know what the best part is? Sorry, must go. Bye-bye. Yeah. Doctor Miles. Fuck! What took you so long? Jesus Christ. Sorry' Chevy' I just got the message. Okay. Forget it. Listen, I'm dying! I've been poisoned with some Chinese synthetic shit. What? You've gotta fucking do something for me.
    Doc Miles: What are your symptoms?
    Chev: It's like I'm slowing down.
    Doc Miles: Stuck in tar. Blurred vision?
    Chev: Yeah.
    Doc Miles: Dizzy?
    Chev: Sure.
    Doc Miles: Any pain in your chest?
    Chev: Not really. I feel good' right now.
    Doc Miles: What are you doing?
    Chev: Driving through a mall' cops chasing me.
    Doc Miles: The adrenaline is what's keeping you alive.
    Chev: Having a little trouble hearing you.
    Doc Miles: You got to keep moving, Chevy.
    Chev: Explain.
    Doc Miles: If I'm right' they gave you the “Beijing cocktail”. It's very nasty shit. It works on the adrenal gland, blocks it's receptors. The only thing you can do to slow it down, is to keep the flow of adrenaline constant. Meaning' if you stop' you die.
    Chev: Hang on.
    Doc Miles: Jesus! What... Are you there? Are you okay?
    Chev: What'd you say' Doc? If you stop, you die!
    Doc Miles: That's what I'm trying to do. Keep moving, keep the blood pumping. Chevy, you there?
    Chev: Every time I slow down' it's like my veins start to rust.
    Doc Miles: Did you take anything?
    Chev: Couple grams of coke.
    Doc Miles: That's a start.
    Chev: I'll be in L.A. In an hour.
    Chev: [Jumps with clothes on ịṇto the pool of Carlito's penthouse condominium where he is swimming] Hey, boss. Something urgent has come up.
    Carlito: So I've heard. Word travels fast.
    Chev: Carlito, I need your help. I don't have a lot of time.
    Carlito: No, not much.
    Chev: We've gotta find an antidote, or something. What's the matter?
    Carlito: That shit they gave you... It's that Chinese shit. There is no antidote.
    Chev: What, that's it?
    Carlito: Honestly, you should be dead already. It's a miracle.
    Chev: A miracle?
    Carlito: We give that shit to horses.
    Chev: You don't have to be so damn fucking cool about it.
    Carlito: What do you expect me to do?
    Chev: Find that punk Verona, and his whole fucking crew, and feed them to a cage of wolverines. What is this? What, are you boys now or something?
    Carlito: Verona? That's a small time punk. Not to say that this isn't an opportunity.
    Chev: Opportunity?!
    Carlito: Everyone knows the love I have for you, Chev. But maybe this makes up for the Don Kim hit which was... perhaps ill-advised.
    Chev: Ill-advised?!
    Carlito: The heat from Hong Kong was much more than we anticipated.
    Chev: Well, that's outstanding. Glad to know my death can be of some use to you.
    Carlito: Don't be difficult.
    Chev: I'm not being difficult. I don't know if you noticed, but I'm having a difficult fucking day, brother! I'm out of here.
    Cab driver: [Ċhev ạpproạçhes] You're not getting in my cab wet!
    Chev: I just gave you $200 to wait for 3 minutes.
    Cab driver: You're not getting in my car, no way!
    Chev: [Grabs cab driver and throws him to ground] Yeah, you're right. [Shouts to nearby restaurant patio diners, pointing to him] Al-Qaeda! Al-Qaeda! [Restaurant patio diners do a dog pile on him]
    Cab driver: I love America! I love Bush! I Voted Bush!
    Doc Miles: Hey, Chev. My flight's delayed.
    Chev: Shit!
    Doc Miles: It's all right. Relax. I mean, don't relax. That shit they gave you is cutting off your adrenaline. Excitement, fear, danger. It causes your body to make a chemical called ephedrine. They introduced an inhibitor to your system.
    Chev: Fuck!
    Doc Miles: Dude, you've got to massively increase the ephedrine levels in your body, to force out the inhibitors. Go to a hospital. Get epinephrine, an artificial adrenaline. It comes in 10-milligram syringes. It's potent, so don't overdo it. A 5th of an injection will do. Chevy? Did you get that? Did you get that?
    Chev: Yeah, epi-something.
    Doc Miles: Okay, okay. I've gotta go. Now, I'll call you when I get there.
    [Chev is talking to Aaron in an alleyway after following him through a hotel kitchen and cutting off his hand]
    Chev: How'd you like that one, tough guy? How frickin' awesome was that, huh? Well, well, well. You feel like talking? Where's your fuckin' brother?
    Aaron: Doing your mother like a whore, you bitch!
    Chev: Nice. I wonder how many steaks I could carve out of you.
    Aaron: You died, motherfucker! Yeah, wanna fuck with me, ese?
    Chev: What, you rolling pin mighty good?
    Aaron: What the hell you think you doing, huh? What, you want to dance with me, motherfucker? I'll fuck you up! Come on! [Chev executes Aaron with his own gun]
    Chev: Jesus! Nothing's easy. Wanna hold hands? [Throws Aaron's hand to Kaylo]
    Ricky: [Answers phone] Hey, talk to me, bro.
    Chev: Hey, Ricky. How much for sucking me off? Are you in the mood? Maybe let me lick your ass or something?
    Aaron: Who is this?! Shit! Chelios?! Is this fucking Chelios?!
    Chev: That's right, bro. Guess how I got your brother's phone? I'm sure you have it all figured out. Looks like you should've cut me up when you had the chance. I'm having a little trouble hearing you. You experiencing a little 20/20 hindsight?
    Aaron: You're supposed to be fucking dead!
    Chev: You know, I kind of like that shit you put in me. Gonna give me some more?
    Ricky: Well, I'm... I'm...
    Chev: I know, I know. Hey... What's this?! A necklace?! You guys really are faggots, huh?!
    Ricky: That's the medallion my grandfather gave by dad and- You know what you take that and you shove it up your ass. Fuck! Fuck you, man! Shove that thing up your ass!
    Chev: No thanks. You know, I think I'll hang on to it. You'll have to come find me, after all. Fucked up that you killed your own brother.
    Chev: I'm looking for something which begins with E.
    Pharmacist: England?
    Chev: Very funny. No. Some kind of artificial adrenaline.
    Pharmacist: Artificial adrenaline?
    Chev: Yeah, I've got heart problems.
    Pharmacist: Epinephrine.
    Chev: Yes! Epinephrine. I love you. Epinephrine.
    Pharmacist: I can't give you epinephrine.
    Chev: Why?! Hey!
    Pharmacist: Just a minute.
    Chev: Oi! What do you mean... [Noticing nasal decongestant nearby] What is this shit?!
    Chester: Nasal spray.
    Chev: Miserable bitch! What?!
    Chester: Nasal spray. It's got epinephrine in it. It'll get you tweaked, man.
    Police: Sure that's the guy?
    Hospital staff: Yeah.
    [Chev runs into the room of a comatose patient]
    Chev: This room's clear.
    Hospital security: Yo, yo, yo! [Chev gives chase] Yo! Stop! Stop! Jerk-off!
    Chev: Coming through! [Points gun at hospital orderly pushing a cart] I know you motherfuckers have epinephrine. Clear the hallway! I'm having a bad day. Tell me you've got epinephrine on this cart!
    Orderly: You all right?
    Chev: Tell me you've got epinephrine! Motherfucker!
    Orderly: I don't know. I'll check.
    Chev: Get back!
    Orderly: Take it easy!
    Chev: Do you understand fucking English?
    Orderly: Yes, I just don't know which drawer it's in.
    Chev: Come on, look! Give me the fucking epinephrine!
    Orderly: I don't know where it is, man!
    Chev: What is this, a rest home? What are you doing?! Hurry up! Get back!
    Orderly: We can't treat without insurance. I don't know if I have it, give me a second!
    Hospital security: Put the weapon down!
    Chev: What the fuck?! Where the fuck is it? My heart!
    Orderly: What?
    Chev: My heart!
    Orderly: Yeah, yeah.
    Hospital security: Drop your weapon now! What do you think you're doing? This is...
    Chev: Shut up! You! Gimme the epinephrine? Don't even think about it!
    Orderly: Albuterol... Flortab... Epinephrine! Here it is! I've got it! Here you go.
    Chev: Gimme that.
    Orderly: Asshole.
    Chev: I'm not gonna tell you again. ...all right? Just be quiet. [Referring to defibrillator paddles] Juice me.
    Orderly: Juice?
    Chev: Do it.
    Orderly: All right.
    Chev: Come on! I haven't got all day. Okay, I need both of them to... give them to me.
    Orderly: One. Two. Clear!
    Chev: Get the fuck back! Get out! [Orderly defibrillates Chev causing him to shoot backwards into the elevator and the doors close] How much of this stuff did he say to take? [Chev becomes hyper-adrenalised and runs maniacally out of the hospital]
    Doc Miles: Chevy, we're in the air, man. Did you get the stuff?
    Chev: Got it.
    Doc Miles: Did you take it?
    Chev: Yup.
    Doc Miles: You took the whole thing.
    Chev: Yup.
    Doc Miles: I said 1/5th oḟ ạ syrịṇge. The shit's gonna kill you.
    Chev: Right.
    Doc Miles: Chest on fire?
    Chev: Check.
    Doc Miles: But you're cold.
    Chev: Check.
    Doc Miles: And you've got a steel hard on, don't you?
    Chev: Let me check. Check.
    Doc Miles: Your blood vessels are stimulated. Urinary sphincter's so tight, you couldn't piss to save your life.
    Chev: Urinary sphincter, check!
    Doc Miles: Get some Vicodin. You at the hospital?
    Chev: Negative.
    Doc Miles: Get some grass. That shit'll be out of your system in 30 minutes, or it'll kill you. This is costing me a fortune. I'll call you in 20 minutes when we land.
    Chev: Copy.
    Doc Miles: Hey, Chevy? You're a good dude. Been nice knowing you.
    Chev: Copy, out.
    [Chev is walking along downtown street and watches news coverage of himself from an electronics store and a man notices of Chev's protruding erection from hospital gown with Chev glaring at him then averts eyes back to TV in fear]
    Newscaster: Some medical emergency. Police have declined to name the man they say is still at large, on a citywide rampage that has left one man dead, dozens injured, and hundreds of thousands of dollars of damage... in it's smoking, bloody wake. [A particularly well-done police sketch of Chev appears] The suspect is a professional killer... with ties to organized crime and a long police record. He is considered armed and highly dangerous. We now continue with regularly scheduled programming, but stay tuned for continuing coverage of this bizarre story, as it unfolds... [Chev then walks up to a police highway patrolman on a motorcycle and steals his firearm]
    Patrolman: Oh, shit!
    Chev: Take it easy. Get back, pig!
    Patrolman: I... just give me the...
    Chev: Come on, then. Let's see you run, piggy. Come on, piggy.
    Patrolman: Give me the gun. Let's talk this over.
    Chev: Yeah, you want it? There. Let's go, come on. [Chev steals the motorcycle with the patrolman hanging and sparks flying from boots and Chev drives off and deliberately crashes the motorcycle]
    Eve: Be careful. All right. I'm gonna get some help, all right? Yeah. Hey, did you try to call?
    Chev: You've been home all day?
    Eve: I was sleeping in.
    Chev: Sleeping in. That's great, Eve. Super great. You all rested, now? Glad to hear it. Listen, I've been fatally poisoned. A psychopath's on his way over to torture and kill you, but don't get out of bed, I'll be over in a flash. Could you fry up a waffle?
    Eve: Sure, yeah. Come on over. I'll be here.
    Chev: Right, you'll be there. Okay.
    Eve: Bye.
    [Thugs lying in wait]
    Thug 1: So, let's go get the bitch!
    Thug 2: Come on, please!
    Thug 3: All right, all right. Jesus!
    Eve: Oh my God! Is this your new look or something?
    Chev: Yeah, you into it?
    Eve: It's gross. Are you looking for my other boyfriend?
    Chev: Yes! You haven't watched TV today, right?
    Eve: No, why?
    Chev: Didn't think so. Come on, we're leaving.
    Eve: Don't be such a freak.
    Chev: Get dressed.
    Eve: Actually, can you change the clock on the microwave? I never changed it back.
    Chev: What?
    Eve: The microwave. Can you change the clock? The daylight savings time, I never changed it back.
    Chev: The microwave?
    Eve: Yes.
    Chev: Listen. I bought some flowers. They got fucked up on the way over.
    Eve: That's sweet! You okay? You look like you're on drugs or something.
    Chev: You love me, yeah?
    Eve: Yes.
    Chev: Then I need you to do something for me.
    Eve: What? What's wrong?
    Chev: I need you to put some clothes on and come with me, right now.
    Eve: No.
    Chev: I'll change the clock on the microwave.
    Eve: Okay. All right.
    Chev: Shit's wearing off.
    Eve: The waffle iron's on if you want to make one.
    Chev: Great.
    Eve: Great. You're so stressed out. Want some pot, or something?
    Chev: Yeah! Ready! [Chev deliberately burns himself on the waffle iron]
    Eve: What's wrong?!
    Chev: I burned my hand.
    Eve: Oh, my God! Let me see it!
    Chev: Don't worry about it. Hey!
    Eve: What the...
    Chev: I'm sorry. That was completely uncalled for. Can we just...
    Eve: Fine. Parked out the back. Darn! That... thing.
    Chev: What thing?
    Eve: The waffle thing, I gotta turn it off. Hello? Hello?
    Chev: All right, very funny.
    Eve: God, I hate that. Do you want to burn the building down? Ouch!
    Chev: Sorry, honey.
    Eve: [Chev has noticed the ṇeạrby thugs and deliberately spills the purse contents of Eve's purse to ḟịght them] Nice one, Chev. Oh, there's my Tiger Balm. I swear to God, Chev. I don't know what you're on, but it isn't working for you. My hand cream! That's where you went. Chev? Can I have some help, here? Where's your car?
    Chev: Actually, I took a cab.
    [Chev and Eve are seated in a restaurant]
    Eve: This isn't gonna be... This isn't gonna be easy, as they say.
    Chev: Oh, fucker.
    Eve: All right, here it is.
    Chev: Sorry. I told you I was a video game programmer.
    Eve: Yeah?
    Chev: That was a lie. Actually... I kill people. Professional hitman. I freelance for a major West Coast crime syndicate. Last night was a job like 100 others. High dollar hit, nothing special. The Triads from Hong Kong had been moving in on the local drug cartels. My target was the number one man in L.A., Don Kim.
    [Flashback of Chev clandestinely preparing to assassinate Don Kim]
    Don Kim: Well? What are you waiting for?
    Chev: Then, this insane idea comes in the back of my head, like a .45 slug at close range.
    Chev: [Chev relents in killing Don Kim] Congratulations.
    Don Kim: Did I win something?
    Chev: Your life, jackass.
    Chev: So, sooner or later it's gonna happen, but I'm not doing it.
    Eve: I see.
    Chev: Instead you're gonna do something for me. You're gonna get out of town, disappear. I don't care where you go or what you do, so long as you're invisible for 48 hours. That's all I ask. Or, if you prefer, we can do it the other way. The way where I go to work, and you meet Buddha. See... I quit. I quit the business for you.
    Eve: For me?
    Chev: Yeah. I figure I call you that night and tell you everything. We get on a plane, leave this shit, never come back. Pretty crazy, huh?
    Eve: You are so weird.
    Eve: Are we going on a trip?
    Chev: Well... I might be going on a trip, but you're not coming with me...
    [Eve is walking quickly outside the restaurant]
    Chev: Please! Wait, please!
    Eve: Mob hits, Chev?! Chinese poison?! Do you know how ridiculous you sound?! If you're gonna break up with me, at least you can tell me the truth! What's wrong with you?!
    Chev: Wait a minute, you trust me?!
    Eve: No.
    Chev: [Chev begins to succumb to the “Beijing cocktail”, then grabs Eve] Make love to me.
    Eve: What?!
    Chev: I think it'll help.
    Eve: What? Are you kidding? Get off me!
    Chev: Take your clothes off.
    Eve: No! No!
    Chev: You said you wanted to be more spontaneous!
    Eve: You're crazy! You're an adrenaline junkie with no soul!
    Chev: Save me, Eve. Save my life!
    Eve: Stop it! [Punches him] I'm sorry. Oh my God, are you okay? Are you okay? [Ċhev grạbs her ạgạịṇ] No! No!
    Chev: Shit!
    Eve: [Chev gets on top of her] Get off! You filthy animal! Take me right here, in front of everyone! That's it! Come on! Do it! What are you waiting for?!
    Chev: Jesus! Come on! I'm trying! Shush!
    Eve: Oh, God! Now you can't get it up? Come on, get it up!
    Chev: I'll fucking get it up!
    Eve: Goddammit, Chev!
    Chev: Shut up! [Starts vigorously doggy-styling Eve and pumps with fists] I'm alive! I'm alive! I'm alive, you motherfuckers! Oh, my God! Wow! Oh, my God! Yes! [All the passerbys all cheer in synchronity of Chev and he answers phone] Yeah?
    Eve: What are you doing?!
    Chev: Yeah.
    Kaylo: I've got Verona!
    Chev: Kaylo?!
    Kaylo: I've got Verona, man.
    Chev: What? No shit? Where are you?
    Kaylo: Don Kim's shirt factory, upstairs.
    Eve: What's the matter with you?!
    Chev: 5th and Alameda?
    Eve: Who's at 5th and Alameda?!
    Chev: Don't let that fucker out of your sight! Hear me? With you in 10 minutes. You got it?!
    Kaylo: Yeah, Chev.
    Chev: [Hangs up phone] Honey, I gotta go. I'll call you! [Leaves]
    Eve: [To bystanders] Oh God, what are you looking at?!
    Cab driver: Hey man, what's the matter with you? You a crackhead?
    Chev: Right, just step on it, all right?
    Cab driver: You're won't die in my cab, crackhead. I got something for you. Take this Haitian shit. This shit is some hardcore shit. It's made from plant shit. Hey, what are you laughing at? Look at this. You see that? That's what a man look like, crackhead. That's power. Now look at you. What the hell. Yeah.
    Chev: It tastes like ass.
    Cab driver: That's right, devil. You wait... We're here.
    Chev: What'd you say was in this stuff?
    Cab driver: I told you, it's hardcore. It's $5.55. It's all you, man. Have a nice day, devil.
    Carlito henchman: [Ends a call on Don Kim's shirt factory rooftop] Fucking call me talking shit! I'm doing my job. I'm doing my shit. I'm up here chillin', doing what I do. I'm a rooftop mother- [Chev comes up behind the Carlito henchman lightly pushing him and pointing a gun at his forehead] hey, Chevy! What's up, dog? You chillin'? You good? What a coincidence!
    Chev Chelio: What do you mean?
    Carlito henchman: What, you waiting for a bus?
    Chev Chelio: Actually, I thought a helicopter... what is this?
    Carlito henchman: What?
    Chev Chelio: You working for the Chinese?
    Carlito henchman: The Chinese?! You crazy? I wouldn't do that to you.
    Chev Chelio: I am crazy. Where's Kaylo? [Raises up both hands] Okay, ding. Time's up.
    Carlito henchman: [Chev lunges at the henchman] What do you mean, "ding"?! [Chev grabs the henchman] What do you mean, "ding"?! [Chev throws the henchman off the roof]
    Chev Chelio: Where is that motherfucker?! [Chev then goes some floors below and appears before three Carlito henchmen]
    Carlito henchman: Chev.
    Chev Chelio: [Noticing the murdered body of Kaylo] What the fuck is this?!
    Carlito henchman: Chev, baby. Take it easy.
    Chev Chelio: Oh, you mean like this? [Points gun at henchman who just blinks eyes and turns head slightly] Now you tell me where that little toe-rag motherfucker is; Verona.
    Carlito henchman: Verona's got nothing to do with this!
    Chev Chelio: What?!
    Carlito henchman: Don Carlos wants you off the streets.
    Chev Chelio: Carlito?!
    Carlito henchman: You've totally lost your shit, dog! Your all over tv, destroying property, making unauthorized hits?! You are bringing the organization a great deal of embarrassment!
    Chev Chelio: Organization?! You mean Carlito ordered all of this?!
    Carlito henchman: Look, don't worry about Verona, we'll take care of him, the best thing for you to do is just find some nice dark quiet place... and just die. I mean, we all gotta die some time right?
    Chev Chelio: Die. Just die. What, you think I've got cunt written all over my face? [Chelios points to forehead and a CGI text of CUNT appears on Chelios forehead] So, I'll just die. [Suddenly Eve comes up in elevator]
    Carlito henchman: What the... What the... [Chev opens fire on henchman starting a gun fight and Chev gets shot trying to escape in elevator]
    Eve: You got shot!
    Chev: Mother... Jesus!
    Chev Chelio: Eve, move!
    Carlito henchman: You, asshole!
    Eve: Don't talk to him like that! My boyfriend kills people!
    Chev Chelio: Nice.
    Eve: Oh, God! I had to see if you were telling the truth.
    Eve: Jesus! Fuck! Are they really...
    Chev Chelio: They're dead.
    Eve: How do you... How can you do that?
    Chev Chelio: I told you, baby. I quit.
    Eve: [He parks the car] Where are you going?! [He gets out]
    Chev Chelio: Stay there, honey. [He walks into a hardware store and Eve finds him hammering nails into his leg] Jesus! Fuck!
    Eve: Chev!
    Chev Chelio: Asshole! I can't feel my leg. Shit!
    Chev Chelio: I've been trying to call you for a half hour. Where the fuck have you been?
    Doc Miles: In my office. Can you make it over here?
    Chev Chelio: Sure' why not?
    Doc Miles: Chocolate' what's this fucking receipt from Gold Foods Market for $254?
    Chocolate: Snacks.
    Eve: I hate television.
    Chev Chelio: I owe you again, Doc.
    Doc Miles: Chevy' you're my best customer.
    Chev Chelio: What is this stuff?
    Doc Miles: Synthetic epinephrine... diluted with some saline.
    Chev Chelio: Feels sort of good.
    Doc Miles: Well, I got a little meth in there' too. You're feeling the endorphins.
    Chev Chelio: Wait a minute. I'm not better?
    Doc Miles: No' you're not better. You're in such shit shape' it's stunning. I can't believe your heart's beating. You should be in a fucking medical journal.
    Chev Chelio: So, what are you going to do?
    Doc Miles: The solution acts as a competing inhibitor. It's pushing the poison out of your receptors' and replacing it with a chemical. It's just a temporary fix.
    Chev Chelio: Then what?
    Doc Miles: Then you're fucked. I can put you on life support and string this out for a few days. But you're going to go into a comma at some point. Does she know?
    Doc Miles: Why don't I load you up with something, and you can go out in a beautiful dream.
    Chev Chelio: A dream.
    Doc Miles: Can I do that for you?
    Chev Chelio: No, no, no. That's not what I want.
    Doc Miles: What do you want?
    Chev Chelio: One hour. I want one hour.
    Doc Miles: Give me a fuckin' break.
    News reporter: So, the wild rampage that began 9am in L.A. Continues. The suspect, still at large.
    Associate: We didn't give him enough Chinese shit.
    Ricky: You think?! [Answers phone] Dude, it's him! What's up, corpse?
    Chev: Bonjour, douche bag, Thought you might be interested in a deal.
    Ricky: Oh, you a dealer, now?
    Chev: Don't you worry about what I am. Listen, I want the antidote.
    Ricky: Oh, the antidote?!
    Chev: That's right, the antidote.
    Ricky: What you prepared to give me?
    Chev: How about that jewelry I got off that faggot brother of yours, you cocksucker? Don't pop a blood vessel, you little penis.
    Ricky: Okay.
    Chev: You like the deal?
    Ricky: Whatever!
    Chev: Be at the downtown Lint in 20 minutes. You know the spot?
    Ricky: Yeah.
    Chev: Don't be late, or I'll trade the thing to a whore for a hand job. Look, I said I said I'd fuckin' be...
    Ricky: Fuck!
    Chev: See you later, sunshine. Dammit! Fuck!
    Ricky: Yo, it's Verona. You won't believe this call I just got.
    Chev: It's gonna be all right, baby.
    Eve: But you said...
    Chev: No, no. Things have changed. There's an antidote. I can make a deal for it, but I got to go alone.
    Eve: I'm scared.
    Chev: Of course. You'll be safe, now. And I'll be back.
    Eve: Promise?
    Chev: I promise.
    Ricky: What's happening, bro?!
    [Chev steps into hotel elevator]
    Asian man: [In woman's voice] Where did I go wrong?!
    Chev: You fuckin' just say something?
    Asian man: It's like talking to the wall.
    Chev: Mom?
    Asian man: I'm amazed you remember you have a mother.
    Chev: Please, I haven't got time for this.
    Asian man: You're never around. I've never seen you in the house in sixteen years.
    Chev: Yeah, yeah, yeah, right mom, with you popping valium like tic tacs. I really wouldn't wish at all someone would so this. Why would I stick around for entertainment like this?
    Asian man: [In Ạsian language] That's hurtful.
    Chev: Please, I've no time for this.
    Asian man: [In Orlando's voice] You got no time, period. You're a persistent motherfucker, Chelios. I give you that.
    Chev: Orlando?
    Chev: This is weird.
    Asian man: Yeah, I know this is weird, but you know, this has gotta stop sometime. [In Ạsian language] Who do you think you are? Michael Myers [In Ricky's voice] They pop you and you keep getting up?
    Chev: I'm the terminator.
    Asian man: You was, but here's a new gun in town.
    Chev: You know, I just don't get it. Why didn't you cut me up when you had the chance?
    Asian man: Too easy, motherfucker. Look at you. Bi-polar, sadomasochistic tendencies... Adrenaline junkie...
    Alter Chev ego: ...addicted to violence... probably spends every day looking for the big thrill, the big rush, Carving up a guy while he screams in his own blood and excrement, would be like... like a gift. A warriors death.
    Asian man: [Chev's voice] Hell, you'd probably get off on it.
    Chev: Why do you ask this?
    Alter Chev ego: Maybe it's best for a guy like you. Going downhill. Winding down. Inevitable. Under so many circumstances.
    Chev: Who are you anyway?
    Asian man: [In Asian language] Don't you know?
    Chev: I think I'm starting to figure it out.
    Asian man: [In Chev's voice] Better late than never. You know you're gonna die up there.
    Chev: Yeah, maybe. But I'm taking you with me. [Alter ego Chev becomes radiant with UV light and then disappears with the Asian man becoming default] Some pills, Doc.
    Asian man: [In Asian language] Did you fucking say something?
    Henchman: Chelios?
    Chev: [Ċhev ạpproạçhes] Hello, girls.
    Henchman: Hold up. Give me the piece. [Çoṇḟịsçạtes Ċhev's ḟịreạrm]
    Chev: Now, isn't that a fucking picture?
    Carlito: Chelios. What a fucking nightmare you are.
    Chev: No shit.
    Carlito: Sit down.
    Ricky: Whoa! Wait a minute. You pat him down, again. I know he's carrying something. [Ḥeṇçhmạṇ pulls out ạ tube çoṇṇeçted boẋ]
    Carlito: Let me see that.
    Chev: Motherfucker.
    Carlito: Clever. What is this, an insulin pump?
    Chev: Basically.
    Ricky: What the fuck is Insulin? [Carlito holds up finger for silence]
    Carlito: Ephedrine, right?
    Chev: Yeah.
    Carlito: You're very resourceful.
    Chev: Found a new master, little bitch?
    Ricky: I'm nobody's bitch.
    Chev: You'll be a bitch when Carlito hires you for half what he paid me.
    Carlito: That's enough.
    Chev: You'll throw boss a reach-around, show him you're a good bitch.
    Ricky: I'm nobody's little bitch! [Points gun at Chev] You fuckin' hear me? He'll pay me what I tell him to pay!
    Carlito: That's enough! Sit down! It's been a long fucking day. In the end, you have to admit, it all works out quite nicely. Don Kim gets his bullet, thanks to you, and Hong Kong gets a goat to take the fall. Please understand, it's nothing personal.
    Ricky: Speak for yourself. [Mimics a kiss]
    Chev: That what I think it is?
    Carlito: It's the Chinese shit. Hold him down.
    Chev: [Makes a gun gesture] Not so fast, motherfucker!
    Ricky: He's gone dipsy-do, yo! [Chev points at him] Whatever, psycho!
    Carlito: I'm afraid the Houdini act is over, my friend. [Points at a henchman who falls down from a headshot]
    Ricky: Our Father, who art in...
    Carlito: Shut up!
    Don Kim: So, this is how it is! [Camera pan-out reveals Don Kim and his hitmen team]
    Ricky: It's Don Kim! He's supposed to be dead!
    Chev: Presto. [Gun fight between henchmens of Carlito and Don Kim ensues]
    News reporter: Police have moved to surround the Hotel Lint, where the madman behind today's mayhem... is holed up and making a desperate last stand. Officials have confirmed gunfire on the sundeck. Our news chopper will bring live, uncensored coverage from above the hotel. Again, this coverage is uncensored, so any small children present should leave the room.
    [Ricky has given chase to the helicopter with Chev in pursuit]
    Ricky: Get me out of here! I'll kill you, Chelios!
    Chev: Too late!
    Carlito: [A Don Kim thug has thrown a grenade] Look out! [Grabs a henchman to cover the grenade]
    Henchman: Thanks, boss.
    Ricky: Let's get the fuck out of here, now! Let's go!
    Chev: [Points gun] Present from Kaylo.
    Ricky: Now what?
    Chev: Now you say shit!
    Carlito: Where the fuck were you?!
    Ricky: [Plunges syringe into Chev's neck] Who's the bitch, now?! [Shoots Carlito and climbs into helicopter] No, no! You fly, motherfucker! Motherfuckin' fly!
    Chev: You're dead!
    Ricky: [Chev and Ricky are fighting in the airborne helicopter and they fall out in free fall still fighting] Oh my God! You're dead! You're dead, motherfucker!
    Chev: Thought I'd told you I'd kill you, you little bitch! [Chev then snaps Ricky's neck who drifts away lifeless and Chev then makes a phone call]
    Chev: Hey, its Eve. I'm glad you called but I'm not here. Leave a message, unless you're selling something 'cause I'm not interested. If you're not, then just... Wait, time's up. Hey, doll... Looks like I let you down, again. Seems like all my life I've just been going... going... going... I wish I'd taken more time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Well, I guess it's too late for that now. You're the greatest, baby. [Chev lands on a vehicle, bounces onto the road and a heartbeat is heard]

## Taglines

* There are a thousand ways to raise your adrenaline. Today, Chev Chelios will need every single one.
* What does not kill us, makes us stronger.
* My name is Chev Chelios, and today is the day I die.
* If his heart stops pumping adrenalin... It will be the day Chev Chelios dies.
* You Stop. You Die.

## Cast

* Jason Statham - Chev Chelios
* Amy Smart - Eve
* Carlos Sanz as Carlito
* Jose Pablo Cantillo - Ricky Verona
* Jay Xcala - Aaron Verona
* Efren Ramirez - Kaylo
* Dwight Yoakam as Doc Miles
* Reno Wilson as Orlando
* Keone Young as Don Kim
* Chester Bennington as Pharmacy stoner (cameo)
* Valarie Rae Miller as Chocolate
* Noel Gugliemi as Warehouse Rooftop Hood

## External links

* Crank quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* Crank at Rotten Tomatoes