# Alvin and the Chipmunks (film)

Alvin and the Chipmunks is a 2007 film American live-action/CGI-animated jukebox musical comedy film about a struggling songwriter who finds success when he comes across a trio of singing chipmunks: mischievous leader Alvin, brainy Simon, and chubby, impressionable Theodore. The film was based on the characters of the same name created by Ross Bagdasarian, Sr..
    Directed by Tim Hill. Written by Jon Vitti, Will McRobb, and Chris Viscardi.

## Dave Seville

* [repeated line] ALVIN!
* My life is being sabotaged by talking chipmunks!

## Ian Hawke

* Hey, if you guys behave, maybe I'll let you call me "Uncle Ian" again. Deal?
* ¡Madre de Dios! (Translation: Mother of God.) NO!!!!

## Dialogue

    [First lines]
    Alvin, Simon, Theodore: [a capella] Where is the moment we needed the most/You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost/They tell me your blue skies fade to gray/They tell me your passion's gone away/And I don't need no carryin' on/Cause you had a bad day/You're taking one down/You sing a sad song just to turn it around/You say you don't know/You tell me don't lie/You work at a smile and you go for a ride/You had a bad day/You've seen what you like/And how does it feel for one more time/You had a bad day/You had a bad day/
    Alvin: [pushing the last of the acorns into the tree] It's going, It's going. [gets sucked in and falls out with all of the acorns]
    Simon: And it's gone.
    Alvin: [from inside the tree] Whatever!
    Theodore: Maybe we should take a break. [an acorn hits him on the head] Ouch!
    Alvin: [pops out] That's it! I can't take this anymore! I can't! I give up! I'm sick of struggling for survival, competing with gophers and earthworms and that loser sparrow who always takes my nuts! And I'm especially sick of this [jumps on the branch 3 times] stupid, stupid, tree!
    [They hear a buzzing noise]
    Simon: Whoa! What's happening?!
    Theodore: Guys! I think he made it angry!
    [The tree falls down with the screaming chipmunks in it]
    Theodore: Where are we?
    Alvin: Well, I think they remodeled our forest. I like it. Stylish, yet functional-
    Theodore: Uh, but where did the mountains go?
    Simon: Give me a break. We're in a building, Theodore.
    Ian: Let's talk about your song, Dave.
    Dave: Well, as crazy as it sounds, the original inspiration came to me-
    Ian: The song sucks, Dave
    Dave: What?
    Ian: Your song? It's awful. I hate it. Yeah, I mean, who's gonna sing it? Justin? Fergie? Not a chance. I need something new, I need something fresh!
    Dave: That is new!
    Ian: The next big thing. Dave, we go way back, all right? And we've both come a long way since college. You, not so much. I wanted to like that song, but you heard it. Not that good. If I wasn't your friend, I'd say "Dave, you go right back out of this office and you keep writing music. You'll get there someday." But I am your friend, so I am going to tell you that there is no sense in writing songs that no one is ever, ever going to sing.
    Dave: Ever?
    Alvin: Last one to the door is road kill! [makes a break for the door]
    Simon: I'm in! [follows Alvin]
    Theodore: [distracted by a Christmas ornament] Hmm...What are these shiny things?
    Simon: [goes back to Theodore] Theodore, we're leaving now.
    [Theodore goes with Simon]
    [Dave puts basket with muffins and chipmunks inside in trash]
    Alvin: Gross! Is this his house?
    Simon: No. It's his garbage can.
    Alvin: Oh.
    Theodore: [munching on some cereal] This is the greatest day of my life!
    Alvin: Eureka! I found the cheese balls! [pours out the cheese balls]
    Simon: [catches the cheese balls with a bowl] Ughh! Alvin, what are you doing?! Don't make a mess!
    Alvin: Cannonball! [jumps into the bowl of cheese balls]
    [Later in the evening after Dave is knocked out unconscious]
    Simon: Hmm. He's been out for quite a while.
    Theodore: [gasps] You guys, he's dead!
    Alvin: Don't panic! Wipe everything down! I'll need three garbage bags, a shovel, some disinfectant, some latex gloves, and oregano. Go!
    [Dave starts to regain consciousness]
    Simon: Hang on, Sherlock. He's coming too.
    Dave: [waking up] I must be hearing things. [wakes and sees the Chipmunks staring at him] Whoa, this is trippy.
    Theodore: Sir, are-are you all right?
    Dave: [exclaims] Get back! Squirrels can't talk!
    Alvin: Whoa, wap-ap-ap-oh. Watch it, genius. We are Chipmunks. Chipmunks!
    Dave: Chipmunks can't talk either! [turns on lights]
    Simon: Well, our lips are moving and words are coming out.
    Dave: This isn't happening. [closes his eyes, talking to himself] I am not talking to chipmunks. I am not talking to chipmunks.
    Alvin: So, how is that working for you, Dave?
    Dave: Uh, h-how do you know my name?
    Alvin: I'll take that one. We read your mail. By accident.
    Simon: You really oughta pay that utility bill, Dave. You ever hear of a credit rating?
    Theodore: [turns on the food processor] What's this thing?
    Dave: Hey, hey...hey, hey, turn that off!
    Alvin: [turns off the food processor] Sorry.
    Simon: [rubs Theodore's head] He fell out of the tree at birth.
    Dave: C-Can all animals talk?
    Simon: Well, fish do have this type of sign language.
    Alvin: Hey Dave, do all humans have houses that smell like sweatsocks? [singing while squirting soap out of the soap dispenser] Dave likes to wear, dirty underwear, with little hairs...
    Simon: We're getting off on the wrong foot. Allow us to introduce ourselves. Hello. I'm Simon. The smart one. He is Alvin.
    Alvin: The awesomest one.
    Theodore: And I'm Theodore.
    Dave: Oh, nice to meet you. Now get out of my house!
    Theodore: But...we talk.
    Dave: Which only makes me want you out of my house that much more. It's creepy. Unnatural. Somewhat evil.
    Alvin: [to Simon] I kinda liked him better when he was unconscious.
    Dave: [puts the mixing bowl over them] Gotcha!
    Alvin: Hey!
    [Dave laughs]
    Dave: Alright, here's the deal; you guys sing my songs, you get to sleep here.
    Alvin: [thinks about it] No. Wait! Is breakfast included?
    Dave: [thinks about it] I can live with that.
    Simon: What about TV privileges?
    Dave: [thinks about it] Okay, but not after seven.
    Theodore: Eight.
    Dave: Done. [the Chipmunks high-fived each other] Don't tell you're animal friends, cause I don't wanna come home and find a bunch of rabbits and skunks on my couch.
    Simon: Filthy creatures, Dave. Never associate with them.
    Theodore: Yeah, you're our only friend.
    Dave: No, no, no, no, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Let's just start with me being your songwriter.
    Alvin: Um, let me ask you, have you ever written a song before?
    Dave: Yup.
    Alvin: And...is that your music stuff outside?
    Dave: Yup. [thunder claps, reminding him that his songwriting equipment is soaked in the rain] Oh no! [runs off to get his stuff]
    Alvin: Hurry back!
    Dave: Are you guys always like this?
    Simon: We're kids, Dave.
    Dave: Well, where are your parents?
    Simon: When you're a chipmunk, your parents take care of you for a week, then they take off.
    Alvin: Our parents were hippies. They left early to join a commune.
    Robert the Robot: I am Robert the Robot.
    Theodore: [running away from the toy] Help! Crazy robot! Help! It's after me! It's after me!
    Dave: Hey. Hey. Hey. [picks up his toy robot] Be careful with that. [turns it off]
    Theodore: Sorry.
    Dave: [puts it away] It's a collectible. I got it for Christmas last year.
    Alvin, Simon, and Theodore: [excited] Christmas!
    Dave: What was that?!
    Simon: Uh, nothing, just...a little stage fright? [whimpers]
    Theodore: I thought my heart was gonna explode!
    Alvin: We're not performing monkeys, Dave! Why do we have to sing for that guy, anyway?
    Dave: Well, how's this? Pretend I need the money, and I hate my job, and you're staying at my place, so you owe me.
    Theodore: We're sorry, Dave.
    Dave: Yeah, that helps. [sighs] Never mind, I'm late for work.
    Theodore: Ooh-ooh-ooh, Can we go with you?
    Dave: What? So that you can mess that up, too? Uh-uh. You're going home.
    Alvin: Can I stand in your lap and steer?
    Theodore: Ooh-ooh-ooh, can we at least beep the horn? Never mind.
    Dave: [phone rings] Hi, Mom.
    Simon: [on phone to Dave] A little situation here, Dave. Theodore vacuumed up Alvin.
    Theodore: [calls down vacuum tube] Alvin!
    Alvin: [shouts from inside vacuum] Dave! Help!
    Dave: [on phone to Simon] What?!
    Simon: [on phone to Dave] Well, at least it wasn't the garbage disposal. [giggles nervously]
    Theodore: [calls down vacuum tube] Just stay calm! [gets sucked into vacuum; shrieks]
    Simon: [on phone to Dave] And there goes Theodore.
    Dave: [on phone to Simon] Look, I can’t do this right now, okay?
    Simon: [on phone to Dave] I absolutely understand, but, uh, sorry, Dave, quick question. [sees the sink on with water pouring down] How do you feel about an indoor pool?
    Dave: [on phone to Simon angrily] Look, if you flood my house, you’re dead. Out on the street, Capisce? [notices that the board is staring at him; hangs up with a nervous chuckle] Why don't we, er, come over here and look at the sales projections? You know, when I first saw these numbers, I thought, there's just no way. But then I looked again. [flips the front board down to the first board with "Size of Theodore's butt" written overtop, and is shocked]
    Amy: "The size of Theodore's butt"?
    Dave: Yeah. Well, wh-why don't we come back to that. Anyway, 10 years ago, the market share for healthy food snacks was imperceptible among six-to-12-year-olds. [flips next board with "How smart Simon thinks he is" written overtop]
    Ted: How smart Simon thinks he is.
    Gail: [snarky] Yeah, as opposed to how smart he actually is.
    Amy: Who's Simon?
    Dave: I didn't...
    Gail: Just move along.
    Dave: [flips the next board with "How much Alvin smells" written overtop; realizing that he's about to be fired] You know what? I-I think I'll just clean out my office.
    [The board nods]
    Gail: [whispers] Sounds good.
    [Dave smiles defeatedly]
    [As Simon and Theodore watch an episode special of SpongeBob SquarePants on the TV]
    Dave: [enters and shows them his vandalized presentation boards; annoyed] Guys, what's this about?
    Simon: Obviously, Theodore's butt.
    Theodore: We told you we colored.
    Dave: On my presentation boards? You got me fired!
    Theodore: Oh. We didn't know. [Dave angrily turns off the TV] We're sorry, Dave.
    Dave: Oh, you're sorry? That's fantastic. Sorry doesn't get my job back, now does it, Theodore? [notices his clothing lying down on the kitchen floor] Why are my clothes all over the place?
    Simon: Oh. We used them to mop up the water. Good idea, right?
    Dave: [notices a weird pellet in front of Theodore] Oh, my God, Theodore, did you just...?
    Theodore: Um, um....
    Simon: It's a raisin, Dave.
    Dave: Prove it.
    Simon: [surprised; puts it in mouth] Mm-hmm.
    Dave: Okay, you got me. Look, I wanna talk to all of you guys. Where's Alvin? [Simon spits raisin out] Alvin?
    Simon [turns to Theodore] You owe me big time!
    Dave: Alvin?!
    Alvin: [takes a shower in dishwasher; sings] Don't cha...Yeah, yeah, come on, come on...Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? [Dave confusedly opens the dishwasher, he screams] There's this new thing! It's called "knocking"!
    Dave: Get out!
    Alvin: Uh, I'm waiting for the rinse cycle!
    Dave: Out! [angrily pulls Alvin out of the dishwasher]
    Alvin: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm taking a shower, here!
    Dave: You know, if I made a list of my worst days ever, guess what?! Today would be at the top of the list!
    Alvin: And it's still early!
    Dave: Clam it, sudsy! [sighs] Okay. Guys, let me just put it to you like this, okay? I have no job, no career, my house is always a mess, thank you very much...
    Claire: [voice only] Hi, Dave, it's Claire Wilson calling. And why did I just say my last name? That was weird. I guess I'm just a little nervous about coming over for dinner.
    Dave: [realizing] Dinner!
    Claire: [voice only] So, yeah, I'm gonna hang up now. I'll be there at 7. Okay, bye.
    Dave: That's half an hour!
    Theodore: Who's Claire?
    Simon: Claire is Dave's mate, ooh-la-la.
    Dave: She is not my mate. She's my ex-mate. Okay, this is great.
    Simon: Dave. Dave, relax. You just go get the food. We'll take care of the rest, all right?
    Dave: No, why am I having a hard time believing you?
    Alvin: That hurts, Dave. That really hurts.
    Simon: Yeah, we're all in this together, Dave.
    Theodore: Like a family.
    Dave: No, not like a family.
    Alvin: Tick-tock, Dave. Better bust a move.
    Dave: Right.
    [Theodore giggles and Dave points at him before leaving]
    Dave: [in his head as he's writing an attempt letter] Dear fellas. I'm sorry, but this isn't really working out. I don't know what made me think I can handle you guys when I can barely manage my own life. You should go back to your real home in the forest. It's what's best for all of us. I'm sorry it has to be this way, but- [crumbles the paper and throws it on the floor]
    [The Chipmunks rang the doorbell at Ian's mansion]
    Ian: [glances outside his mansion] Hello?...Hello? [Theodore smells his foot, sneezes, and runs after his brothers; realizing that no one's here] Kids. [closes the door and heads back to the stairs, but is startled by the Chimpunks' singing]
    Alvin, Simon, and Theodore: [a capella as they appear in front of Ian] Christmas, Christmas time is here / Time for toys and time for cheer / We can hardly stand the wait / Please Christmas, don't be late!
    Ian: [amazed with the smile] Welcome to Jett Records.
    [While they're out shopping]
    Dave: Okay, new rule. No going out after nine, and not at all unless I know where you're going.
    Theodore: Were you worried about us, Dave?
    Dave: No, I just needed to know, that's all.
    Alvin: Um, if you're not worried, then why do you need to know?
    Dave: I need to know, okay? [while looking at the prices, he gets hit with the box] Alvin!
    [The chipmunks point to the little girl in the shopping cart. She throws another box at Dave]
    Mother in Store: [to Dave] Oh, sorry about that. Sorry.
    Dave: Kids, huh?
    Mother in Store: Yeah, they keep you on your toes. You have any?
    Dave: Three boys.
    Mother in Store: Some days are better than others.
    Dave: [short pause] And then some days you just want to close them in a box, and leave the box in the park, and run away you know? [the mother rushes off with her cart along with her daughter; then he sees his cart filled with boxes of waffles] Guys, what's all this?
    Alvin, Simon, and Theodore: Toaster Waffles!
    Dave: [puts all the boxes of waffles back in the freezer] You know, I can't afford all these toaster waffles.
    Simon and Theodore: Aww!
    Alvin: What?
    Dave: Well, in case you didn't notice, I don't have a job anymore. [his song plays over the loudspeaker at the store] My song?
    Alvin: All right!
    Simon and Theodore: Yeah!
    Theodore: [taps Dave's hand] Dave? [jumps up onto the bed] Are you awake?
    Dave: [waking up] I am now.
    Theodore: I had a nightmare. Can...I sleep with you?
    Dave: Umm...
    Theodore: You won't even know I'm here.
    Dave: Okay, sure, but stay on that side of the bed.
    Theodore: Oh, oh, oh, ok. [goes to the other side, but then snuggles up with Dave]
    Dave: [annoyed] That's not the other side, Theodore. [then gives in with a sigh]
    Theodore: Has anyone tried the chocolate meatballs?
    Simon: I'll probably go into insulin shock, but it's worth it.
    Alvin: Oh, sweet, sweet, sweet molasses me.
    Ian: Hey, Alvster. Love the song, bro. Up top.
    Alvin: What's up, player?
    Ian: So I see you're enjoying my little spread that I've put out for you guys. What am I talking about? You probably eat like this all the time.
    Alvin: Well, Dave says that he doesn't wanna spoil us.
    Ian: Dude, you're a rock star. You're supposed to be spoiled. I mean, you should be riding in limousines and private planes, and you should be going to parties like this every night.
    Alvin: Really? 'Cause Dave says we need our sleep.
    Ian: Look, Alvin, this is hard to say but, I mean, I gotta be upfront about it. Dave's holding you back. You know, I could be making you 20 large a day.
    Alvin: Is that a lot?
    Ian: Yes. Another thing...I'm not gonna tell you. Okay, I will tell you. Look, behind your backs, Dave calls you the rats.
    [Both Theodore and Simon look up in shock from eating]
    Alvin: Rats?
    Ian: Yeah, whatever, right? I know. Well, don't let it bother you. I mean, me? I consider you boys family. And if there's anything you need, anything at all, give your Uncle Ian a call, all right?
    Alvin: Oh, right.
    Ian: Ciao.
    Dave: [walks in] Hey, guys, I have an idea for a new song.
    Simon: [playing jumping with the balloon] Whoa! Hey, Dave.
    Dave: [flabbergasted] What's going on in here? I thought I told you guys to clean up!
    Simon: We are.
    Dave: [noticing the housekeeper] Um, who's that?
    Simon: Uncle Ian hired us a housekeeper. She's also a masseuse. [purrs]
    Alvin: [playing an arcade game] Come on, move over, roadhog! Drive it or park it, pal! Get in the slow lane!
    Dave: [eyes widen] Where did you get that game?
    Alvin: Uh, Uncle Ian. Move it or lose it! Get some training wheels, buddy!
    Dave: [having enough] Okay, you know what?! That's it! That's enough! [turns off TV]
    Alvin: What are you doing?! I was about to beat my high score!
    Dave: Too bad. Where's Theodore? [has food in his mouth, chocolate candy] Spit it out.
    Theodore: Mm-mmm.
    Dave: Spit it out.
    Theodore: No!
    Dave: [looks at card included in gift basket] "Jett Records." Okay, that's it. Meeting. Now. Everyone on the couch. [to the housekeeper] Could you give us a minute? [the housekeeper leaves] Guys, look, it's hard. I know. 3 months ago, you were hanging out in a tree somewhere and now you're-
    Alvin: [blows the balloon, low pitched voice] MAJOR ROCK STARS.
    Dave: Okay, whatever. My point is, just because you're-
    Alvin: [blows the balloon again, low pitched voice] MAJOR ROCK STARS.
    Dave: [throws the balloon away] Doesn't mean you can have or do whatever you want!
    Simon: Well, Uncle Ian says we should always be happy.
    Dave: Okay, you know what? He's not your uncle!
    Alvin: He also, David, said that we should be making $20 a day.
    Dave: Well, guess what? You're making way more than that. And because I care, I'm putting it all away for you. Just like storing nuts for the winter.
    Alvin: Oh, winter's for losers.
    Simon: Yeah, and shouldn't we have a say in how to build our investment portfolio?
    Dave: Where is all this coming from? You guys are just kids.
    Alvin: Kids, Dave, or rats?
    Dave: [shocked] What?!
    Theodore: Well, Uncle Ian says we're like his family.
    Dave: [angry] Oh, yeah?! Well, if you love Uncle Ian so much and you don't think I'm watching out for you, why don't you go live with Uncle Ian?!
    Simon: [reading the attempt letter written months ago by Dave] Dear fellas. I'm sorry, but... [mutters] You should go back to your real home in the forest.
    Alvin: I guess he really does want us to go.
    Theodore: [climbs on Ian's bed] Uncle Ian?
    Ian: [wakes up with a start] What are you doing here?
    Theodore: Can I sleep with you? I had a nightmare.
    Ian: [sarcastically] Oh...you had a nightmare? I had a nightmare too. In my nightmare, I had to put together 37 dates in 42 days, in 16 countries. And, I had to coordinate 121 radio and print interviews in 5 different languages. [picks up Theodore] And you know what Theo? The only difference is, in my nightmare, [shouts at his face] when I open my eyes, it doesn't end!
    Theodore: So...is that a no? [Ian throws him out the door in the next shot] Whoa! [lands on the floor] Oh...oh... [gets up and walks back to his room]
    Alvin: [up a lighting post, being chased by a security guard] Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, missed a chipmunk cause you're slow. [shines the spotlight in his eyes] Yippee-kie-yay, mamacita!
    Alvin: [trying to uncork a bottle] Stupid...cork...doesn't... [the cork comes loose and goes flying] Whoa!
    [The cork breaks a glass cabinet]
    Claire: [gasps]
    [It cause to pour champagne out of broken bottles]
    Alvin: Yikes! [chuckles nervously] Oops.
    [Claire looks at Dave]
    Dave: Not gonna say it.
    Alvin: [shocked] Uh-oh!
    Simon: [Disappointed] Good grief.
    [The champagne drops on the ground]
    Claire: Are you still not gonna say it?
    Dave: Nope. [the champagne touches an outlet which spews sparks and smoke, startling him and Claire and causing a power outage in the house] ...I'm gonna say it, ALLLLLLLLLVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Alvin: OKAY!
    [Last lines]
    Ian: [trying to get squirrels to sing] Okay, guys. Come on. Let's try it again. Here we go and sing. Come on. Sing for your Uncle Ian. Come on, sing. Why won't you sing? I said sing. Sing!
[stops playing the piano and leaned his head against the keys]

## Taglines

* Here comes trouble.
* They're back & bigger than ever. Christmas
* The original entourage.
* The Last Man Home.......Is Not Alone.
* Things are going to get messy.
* Watch out, cause here they come
* Get your squeak on!

## Cast

* Jason Lee — David Seville
* David Cross — Ian Hawke
* Cameron Richardson — Claire Wilson
* Jane Lynch — Gail
* Justin Long — Voice of Alvin
* Matthew Gray Gubler — Voice of Simon
* Jesse McCartney — Voice of Theodore

## External links

* Alvin and the Chipmunks quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* Alvin and the Chipmunks (film) at Rotten Tomatoes