# Steven Universe (season 2)

    Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 | Film | Future | Main
The following is a list of quotes from the second season of Steven Universe.

### Full Disclosure

    Greg: I saw the spaceship starting to leave and then it crashed and I came back and— [sees Steven's black eye] Ugh, your eye... But you're okay! I guess those jerks were no match for the Crystal Gems!
    Steven: No way! They were super strong!
    Greg: But you were able to beat them back?
    Steven: No, they totally stomped us! This warrior Jasper was super beefy and knocked me unconscious. Then they abducted me onto the ship because they wanted to take me away forever, and then we crashed the ship and I almost died! [Greg freaks out]
    Greg: W-What do they want with you?!
    Steven: They think I'm Mom.
    Greg: Ar-are more Homeworld Gems gonna come after you?!
    Steven: I— uhh... I don't know. Maybe?
    Greg: Steven, I'm supportive and very proud of you... and I'll be right back. [runs into his van] Gotta calm down. Where's my— [brings a series of CDs up front] Where's my relaxing music CD?! This one? [inserts CD; starts blaring loud metal music] Wrong one!! Stop!! Eject!!
    Ronaldo: Oh! I see... You come up here to brood too!
    Steven: Brood?
    Ronaldo: Yes, Steven. That's just what people like us do. Suffer quietly, shouldering the knowledge no one else can bear.
    Steven: Hm.
    Ronaldo: As an aficionado of the weird yourself, you've probably noticed ordinary people fear the cold leaded anchor of the truth. The abyss is no Sunday swan ride.
    Steven: I know! My dad flipped out when I told him!
    Ronaldo: Sounds typical. But it's a good reminder. This is no easy path we've chosen here. There are... sacrifices. Look at them all down there, Steven. It's our duty to let those simple people live out their simple lives, without ever knowing the burden of being friends with us.
    Steven: At least we can be there for each other.
    Ronaldo: Is that giant hand from the sky sitting right in the middle of the beach?! I gotta get some of this for my blog!
    Amethyst: Aw, come on!
    Garnet: No whining. We need to start cleaning up the debris.
    Pearl: Garnet's right. People are already coming back into town!
    Steven: We've got to keep them off the beach. If any humans got access to Gem technology, [shuts blinds] they could really hurt themselves. Maybe we should shut them out... for good.
    Pearl: You know... we did once have a fence. Let's get a new one—with barbed wire!
    Amethyst: This time, let's build a moat. I could be... [shapeshifts her head] the crocodi-i-ile!! Jazz hands!
    Garnet: No.
    Amethyst: Why not?
    Pearl: You always say you'll be the crocodile, but you never commit!
    Garnet: No fence either.
    Amethyst/Pearl: Garnet!
    Garnet: Steven needs to see his father and his friends.
    Steven: No, I don't! I can't keep clinging to the vestiges of my humanity. It's time I got serious. [his phone starts ring-toning again] Errh!
    Pearl: Steven, why is your communication device playing that song?
    Steven: It's Connie, trying to call me... but I can't face her anymore.
    Pearl: So... you're just going to ignore her forever?
    Steven: It's the responsible thing to do.
    Amethyst: [sees thru blinds] It's gonna be hard, 'cause she's coming up the steps right now.
    Steven: What?!

### Joy Ride

    Steven: Family stuff is tricky.
    Buck, Sour Cream, and Jenny: Mmhm.
    Steven: A few months back, my dad and the Gems grounded me from TV.
    Buck, Sour Cream, and Jenny: That's the worst. / Bummer. / No way!
    Steven: And then I found out that the Gems are alien rebels and that there are other Gems out in space that want us dead 'cause they think we're traitors. And they tried to take me hostage 'cause they think I'm my mom. And... maybe I kinda am? [sighs] I wish I could talk to Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl about it, but... I think they kinda blame me for my mom not being around.
    [Buck, Sour Cream and Jenny are in a state of shock for a beat. Jenny turns off the radio]
    Jenny: That's heavy.
    Steven: I guess.
    Garnet: Steven... you're ungrounded from TV.
    [Steven cries tears of joy and hugs Garnet]

### Say Uncle

    Steven: [breathes deeply] Shield. [his gem glows; slowly opens his eyes, finding himself encased his bubble shield] No! Not bubble shield! [dispels his bubble and throws a little tantrum] What am I doing wrong? The Gems can all summon their weapons, why can't I? [desperately] Isn't there somebody who can help me?!
    Steven: Oh, my gosh, Uncle Grandpa! You're really here, I can't believe it! I mean… I literally can't believe it. How is this even possible?!
    Uncle Grandpa: Don't worry, bro. None of this is canon. [pulls a real cannon out of Belly Bag] But this is! [launches his head like a cannonball with smoke trails spelling "APRIL FOOLS" and crashes into a ship with Lars and Sadie on it]
    Lars: Oh, no!! Our ship!!
    Amethyst: Steven!
    Pearl: What's going on?! Who is this stranger?
    Steven: He's not a stranger, he's Uncle Grandpa!
    [Uncle Grandpa honks his nose]
    Amethyst: Uncle… Grandpa?
    Pearl: So that would make him Greg's brother… and father?
    Garnet: That would explain a lot.
    Garnet: Gem huddle!
    Pearl: Obviously, we're dealing with some sort of super powerful, reality-warping entity.
    Garnet: He could be a danger to the fabric of space itself.
    Amethyst: I don't know, guys. I kinda like him.
    Steven: Hey! What are you guys talking about?
    Uncle Grandpa: Are you forming a secret club?
    Pizza Steve: Oh, hey, it's just me, Pizza Steve—just the coolest and tastiest Steve who ever lived.
    Steven: Hi, Pizza Steve! I'm a Steve too. Steven Universe.
    Pizza Steve: Ste-ven Universe... [pops out on top of Steven's hair] Come on, Uncle G. I've got two rules: no more than 40 or 50 vans and only one Steve allowed!
    Uncle Grandpa: Yeah, but this Steven is special.
    Mr. Gus: Yeah. He's a Crystal Gem.
    Uncle Grandpa: Good mornin Mr. Gus.
    Mr. Gus: What's up, Uncle Grandpa?
    Steven: Whoa Mr. Gus! How do you know about me?
    Mr. Gus: I have a comprehensive knowledge of all magical denizens of the multiverse. I know all about the Crystal Gems. Come on, man, check this out. I even made my own Gemsona. [shows art of "Mr. Gusite"] My gem is on my tail and my weapon is a frying pan.
    [The Gems run frantically across the plot hole many times, stop for a breather]
    Garnet: There's got to be some way out of here.
    Pearl: [Extremely panicked] WE'LL NEVER ESCAPE!! THIS IS OUR NEW HOME!
    Garnet: Pearl you're overreacting.
    Pearl: I'M NOT OVERREACTING!
    [Pearl runs around screaming until she crashes into Amethyst]
    Amethyst: Hey, where's Steven? [Pizza Steve walks in dressed like Steven]
    Pizza Steve: Lookin' for me, Pizza Steven Universe? [Pearl gasps, cowers behind Garnet]
    Pearl: That's not my baby!
    Amethyst: Ah, nice! [eyes on Pizza Steve]
    Pizza Steve: Whoa, hold on!
    Amethyst: Pizzaaaaaa!! [chases Pizza Steve offscreen]
    Pizza Steve: Don't eat Pizza Steve! [munching noises]
    [Amethyst walks back on, putting on Pizza Steve's sunglasses from out of her mouth]
    Garnet: Okay, I'm ready for this episode to end. [stomps her foot on the ground, causing the plot hole to crack and shatter, leaving them back at the beach]
    [They see Steven, Uncle Grandpa, Lion, and Giant Realistic Flying Tiger having a tea party]
    Uncle Grandpa: [sighs] I'm sorry I couldn't help you learn to use your shield, Steven.
    Steven: It's okay, Uncle Grandpa. I had a lotta fun today.
    Gems: Steven!
    Garnet: Get away from that man!
    Pearl: He's a MONSTER!
    [Amethyst hisses and growls]
    Steven: Hey, cut it out, guys. He's done enough already.
    Gems: [diving towards Uncle Grandpa while beating him up] FINISH HIM!!!
    Steven: [rushing in as a chibi] No, don't hurt him! [lets out a small fart; in slow-motion] STOP!!!!!! [his gem begins to glow and halts the Gems, in shock and surprise, with his shield] Whoa! [turns to Uncle Grandpa] I did it, Uncle Grandpa! I really did it!
    Uncle Grandpa: Yay.
    Pearl: Protecting him activated Steven's powers?!
    Garnet: He must really care about this stranger.
    Amethyst: I hope he didn't care about that pizza.
    Steven: Listen! It was a big, weird surprise when Uncle Grandpa showed up here today. We've never met anyone like Uncle Grandpa, but you can't just attack people you don't understand. You have to stick up for them, and listen to what they have to say. You guys always do that for me.
    Pearl: [blushing with tears in her eyes, feeling guilty and sorry] Steven, you're right. [cries emotionally] HOW CAN I BE SO BLIND?! I'M SORRY!
    Amethyst: I also apologize for Pearl.
    Garnet: Thank you, you taught us a valuable lesson, Uncle Grandpa.
    Uncle Grandpa: Boy, that sure makes my eyes hurt. Now let's see here... [Grab a checklist revealing several other Cartoon Network protagonists] Dexter, Dee-dee, Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, Ed, Edd, Eddy, Billy, Mandy, Mac, Juniper Lee, Swat Kats, Flapjack, Finn, Oh! Steven! [checks off Steven's name] Now who's next? [Clarence's name is shown at the bottom of the list]

### Shirt Club

    [Steven rushes to the Beach House]
    Steven: Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl!
    Garnet: Steven!
    Pearl: What is it?!
    Amethyst: Whoa, where's the fire?
    Steven: It's an emergency! You have to help me take down all the shirts and stop Buck from making more!
    Pearl: Have the shirts come to life and and possessed the bodies of their wearers?!
    Steven: Uh, no! They just—
    Amethyst: Are people catching on fire when they put on the magic shirts?
    Steven: No! No, they're just—
    Pearl: Are the shirts destroying the wearer's will to continue on in this mortal coil, thereby shutting down Beach City!?!
    Steven: NOOOOO!!! They're— they're just... using my art in a way I don't agree with.
    Pearl: Oh. [all Gems sit down]
    Garnet: Ah, we'll pass.
    Steven: What?! But— but I really need your help!
    Pearl: Steven, this sounds like a very abstract problem.
    Amethyst: It's not something we can punch!
    Garnet: You must learn to help yourself. That's how you become stronger. [shades sparkle]
    Amethyst/Pearl: Good point, good point. / Oh, absolutely.
    Steven: But..!
    Amethyst: You figure something out, Steven!
    Pearl: Yes! Why not dust off those conflict resolution skills?
    Garnet: Let your problem be known, then you can work towards an understanding.
    Steven: Oh... I'll make them understand. I'll make them all understand... [leaves]
    Amethyst: Eh, he'll be fine.

### Love Letters

    [Steven and Connie meet Jamie sitting on a log in the beach]
    Steven: Jamie!
    Jamie: Oh, hey, Connie and Steven. You guys come out here to stare at the ocean and think about life too?
    Connie: Uhh, no...? We came to, uh—
    Jamie: Yeah, life is crazy. One day, you're right here in Beach City delivering mail and then the next thing you know... you're on a bus to Kansas, following your dreams of becoming an actor. "Follow your dreams," they said. But no one said anything about all the rejection and sadness there was to be found. So many auditions day after day... So much rejection day after day... That's why I came back. [two seagulls crash into each other and fall into the sea] One more rejection would have destroyed my fragile heart. [sobs, chuckles] Sorry... sometimes I get caught up in the drama zone, you know?
    Steven: Yeah, right... Drama zone.
    Connie: Oh, by the way, we have something for yo—
    Steven: No, we don't!
    Garnet: I didn't mean to upset you.
    Jamie: Then will you go out with me?
    Garnet: No!
    Jamie: But I've loved you since the moment I saw you.
    Garnet: Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time and love takes work. At the very least, you have to know the other person. And you literally have no idea who or what I am. [shades glimmer]
    Jamie: But I bloom for you like— like a... camellia... under moonlight?
    Garnet: No, you don't! [long beat] You make a very convincing lovesick fool. You convinced these children. [adjusts her shades] You even convinced yourself. [smiling] You're a fantastic actor.
    Jamie: [beat] ..What am I supposed to do now?
    Garnet: Start with local theater. [slaps Jamie's back, then walks away. Connie and Steven walk closer to him]
    Connie: Are you okay?
    Jamie: Yeah. That was some pretty solid advice.
    Steven: Were those more letters you wrote to Garnet?
    Jamie: No. That was the mail I was supposed to deliver on my last route.
    Steven: [beat] We'll help you pick it all up.
    Jamie: Thanks.

### Reformed

    Garnet: This is not a good choice for your form.
    Amethyst: Lighten up, Garnet. Can't you take a joke?
    Garnet: It's not funny. You've made yourself ridiculous.
    Amethyst: RIDICULOUS?!?!
    Garnet: Keep your voice down! The creature...
    Amethyst: Hrrr... You wanted me to be more like Pearl, and now I am!!
    Garnet: [low voice] Pearl would've taken her regeneration seriously!
    Amethyst: WHAT DO YOU CARE!?! MY FORM IS MY BUSINESS!!
    Garnet: It's my business when it affects the strength of the team!!
    Amethyst: ..So what?! I'm not strong enough?! [gets dragged by the Slinker]
    Steven: Amethyst!
    Amethyst: ARE YOU SAYING... I'M WEAK?!?! [poofs again; Steven catches her gemstone]
    Steven: Is it weird I'm getting numbed to this?

### Sworn to the Sword

    Connie: [fights off seagulls with her violin bow] Run back to your masters! Tell them we're not afraid of your kind!
    Steven: [chuckles] Thanks for saving my jam snack. Unfortunately, it's not safe from me. [munches it] You're such a good sword fighter, Connie.
    Connie: Really? I was just swinging this thing around. I don't really know what I'm doing, but I'd love to learn how to use a real sword!
    Steven: Oh! [gulps snack; starry eyes] Steven has an idea!
    [back at the Beach House]
    Pearl: You want me to do what?!
    Steven: You should teach Connie to sword fight, she's already so good!
    Connie: Steven!
    Steven: But you are! Y-You helped me fight the robot floaty-thing, she took down that evil clone of herself, uh... those mean seagulls just now?
    Pearl: You're awfully young to begin something like this. But I suppose I was only a few thousand years old when I began fighting alongside Rose Quartz. [Connie raises her hand] Yes, Connie?
    Connie: Please! I want to learn! I mean, I don't know what'll happen in the future. But if something dangerous comes along... I don't wanna be a burden, I wanna help! I want to be there for Steven to fight by his side! The Earth is my home too. Can't I help protect it? [Pearl starts watering tears of joy]
    Pearl: Oh... okay... If that's how you feel... we should get started!
    Steven: Woo-hoo! [runs after her laughing]
    Connie: Wait, now?
    Pearl: All right, everything begins with your stance. Remember:
    [singing] You do it for him, and you would do it again
    You do it for her, that is to say, you'll do it for him.
    Keep your stance wide, keep your body lowered
    As you're moving forward, balance is the key
    Right foot, left foot, now go even faster
    And as you're moving backwards, keep your eyes on me.
    Connie: Keep my stance wide ("Good.")
    Keep my body lowered ("Right.")
    As I'm moving forward
    Pearl: Concentrate! Don't you want him to live?!
    Connie: Right foot, left foot
    Pearl: Yes, but put your whole body into it!
    Everything you have, everything you are
    You've got to give.
    On the battlefield, when everything is chaos
    And you have nothing but the way you feel, your strategy and a sword
    You just think about the life you'll have together after the war
    And then you do it for her, that's how you know you can win
    You do it for her, that is to say, you'll do it for him.
    Deep down, you know you weren't built for fighting
    But that doesn't mean you're not prepared to try
    What they don't know is your real advantage
    When you live for someone, you're prepared to die.
    Connie: Deep down, I know that I'm just a human ("True.")
    Both: But I/you know that I/you can draw my/your sword and fight
    Connie: With my short existence, ("Good.") I can make a difference ("Yes, excellent!")
    I can be there for him, I can be his knight.
    Connie: I can do it for him
    Both: You'd do it for her
    Pearl: Okay, now do that again ("Yes, ma'am.")
    You do it for her, and now you say
    Connie: I'll do it for him.
    Amethyst: [belly laughs] Wow, Garnet! That is the funniest thing I've ever heard!
    Garnet: Garnet, master of comedy.
    Amethyst: Hehehe... Yo, Steven. [pretend-yells] WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE ALL SAD LIKE THAT?!?!
    Steven: W-well... Connie is taking sword fighting lessons from Pearl, but I think it's getting a little too serious. She wants Connie to do all this dangerous stuff for me.
    Garnet: That makes sense.
    Steven: What do you mean?
    Garnet: Back during the war, Pearl took pride in risking her destruction for your mother. She put Rose Quartz over everything — over logic, over consequence, over her own life.
    [Pearl and Rose switch to Connie and Steven, respectively. She charges at the enemy before cutting to Steven's horrified face]
    Amethyst: You okay, dude?
    Steven: I have to do something!! Thanks for telling me that, bye!!

### Rising Tides, Crashing Skies

    RonaIdo: I am now going to attempt to make contact with the mysterious, reclusive, [Steven comes out] and—ahh!
    Steven: Hi, Ronaldo! Uh, hi, Peedee. Is that a camera?
    Peedee: Yeah. We're making a movie about—
    RonaIdo: It's an investigative report, shot camera vérité.
    Steven: Cool!
    RonaIdo: So... you wanna participate in a groundbreaking interview?
    Steven: Hmm. Only if you participate in a glass of fresh-squeezed lemonade! [walks back inside]
    [cue Ronaldo and Steven in the Beach House]
    Steven: Ohh, that giant hand? It was a spaceship coming to get us.
    RonaIdo: Us?! I knew it! Steven, we know too much!
    Steven: No, not "us" us. I-I meant me and the Crystal Gems.
    RonaIdo: Wait. So the hand wasn't here to snatch up humans for a human zoo? Or interfere with our subsidized Beach City wind farm?! Or thaw the cryogenically frozen pets of the one percent!?!
    Steven: Uh... no, I'm pretty sure it came to Beach City for me and the Crystal Gems.
    RonaIdo: Oh. So, if you and the Crystal Gems weren't here, we wouldn't have been attacked by the giant hand?
    Steven: Ohh-hoh-hoh! Definitely not.

### Keeping It Together

    Garnet: We need to track down Peridot. We found her (escape) pod. We know she's out there somewhere. She came to Earth with a job to do and odds are, she's still gonna try to do it. That's why I've gathered you here.
    Pearl: Garnet, you don't think Peridot would come looking for us, do you?
    Garnet: We weren't her priority. She was sent here to do something in the Kindergarten.
    Pearl: Do you think she's still going to try to reactivate it?
    Garnet: Mm. If she gets it back up and running, the Injectors will turn back on.
    Steven: Injectors? What're those?
    Pearl: You've already seen them. [projects hologram from her gemstone] Well, you've seen them disabled. If Peridot reactivates them, they'll pick right up where they left off, planting gems in the crust of the Earth, where they'll incubate and suck the life right out of the ground. We can't let Peridot restart Gem production here. If we do... [sighs] the entire planet will become…
    Garnet: Janked.
    Amethyst: Garnet! [laughs] That mouth! [sniggers]
    Garnet: Don't worry. We'll stop her.
    Peridot: Log Date 6-5-2. This is Peridot updating status. Still stuck on miserable planet. The fusion experiments are developing properly. A few have even emerged early- [spots Steven and shrieks; Steven stares silently at her as she looks around; whispers to him] Are the other ones with you? [Steven slowly shakes his head no and nods yes quickly, shrugging] Of course. Why not?
    Garnet: [off-screen] PERIDOT!
    Pearl: THERE SHE IS!
    Steven: We did it! Garnet?
    Garnet/Ruby: So this is what Homeworld thinks of fusion.
    Garnet/Sapphire: We couldn't have known they would do this.
    Garnet/Ruby: This is where they've been…all the ones we couldn't find… they've been here the whole time!
    Garnet/Sapphire: Rose couldn't have known.
    Garnet/Ruby: This is punishment for the rebellion!
    Garnet/Sapphire: [breaking down] It's not our fault!
    Steven: Garnet!
    Garnet: S-Steven.
    Amethyst: [sliding down with Pearl] Yo! We're back.
    Pearl: Garnet, we lost Peridot. Her fingers were too fast for us. [two fused hands climb up on Amethyst and grabs them] Um… what are these things?
    Garnet: PUT THEM DOWN!
    Steven: Uh!
    Pearl: Wha...? [throws the hands away]
    Garnet: We need to poof and bubble all of them. We can't let any escape. [She poofs the hands as the screen turns black]
    Garnet: What Homeworld did… taking the shattered parts of fallen Gems and combining them—those Gems weren't asked permission. Fusion is a choice. Those Gems weren't given a choice. It isn't right. It isn't fusion!
    [Steven looks at Garnet as he takes the clothes out the dryer into the basket]
    Steven: What's it like... being a fusion?
    Garnet: You fused.
    Steven: I mean, like, all the time. Do you forget who you used to be?
    Garnet: You forget you were ever alone. You know when you fuse, you don't feel like two people. You feel like one being. And your old names might as well be names for your left arm, and your right.
    Steven: When you split up, is it like you disappear?
    Garnet: I embody my— I mean, Ruby and Sapphire's love. I always exist in them, even if I split apart. But the strength of that love keeps me together, so I can stay Garnet for a very long time.
    Steven: That's why you're so great!
    Garnet: [smiles] Ha. [Steven starts laughing, with a light blue colored sock being blown away]
    Steven: Oh, no! [Garnet catches it]
    Garnet: Don't wanna break up a pair.
    Steven: [holds peach colored sock] Yeah, you're right. [Garnet folds socks into basket] They belong together.

### We Need to Talk

    Greg: [turning off the lights after seeing Rose and Pearl fusing into Rainbow Quartz; stoked] I can't believe I got that on video! What on earth was that?!
    Rose: That was Rainbow Quartz.
    [Greg re-watches Pearl and Rose's fusion dance, practices and falls down]
    Greg: Ah, geez! How'd she get her legs to do that? [groans]
    Amethyst: Hey! [looks at face-to-face with Garnet] Are you dead?
    Greg: Wha? Uh, no, no. I'm alive.
    Amethyst: Whoa, cool! [jumps over Greg, runs to the TV] It's us from before!
    Greg: Yeah, I was just... trying to get my head around this fusion dance.
    Amethyst: A fusion dance ain't about your head! [laughs out loud]
    Greg: Wait... you guys are Gems. You gotta help me out here. I need to be able to fuse with Rose!
    Garnet: First, you need a gem at the core of your being. Then you need a body that can turn into light. Then you need the partner who you trust with that light.
    Greg: Metaphorically?
    Garnet: Literally.
    Amethyst: [whispers] Shh! Come on! I still wanna see him try!
    Greg: Ugh, so it's true. I really can't do it. [touches his face] I'm kidding myself with this! I'm never gonna be a Gem... [Garnet looks down and picks up a twig]
    Garnet: Amethyst... give us some privacy! [throws it far away]
    Amethyst: YEAH!! [scampers after it]
    Garnet: Let me tell you something, Mr. Universe. I think you can do it, but it won't work if you dance like Pearl. You have to dance like you. You have to fuse your way. Get open. Get honest. Invent yourselves together. [lowers her shades and winks left of her three eyes] That's fusion.
    Greg: EYE—think I get it.

### Chille Tid

    Steven: "Sleep is a curse, and yet a curse I need to live"—Steven Universe.
    Garnet: Let me show you how it's done. (She falls over, stiff as a board)
    Pearl: That's pretty convincing.
    Steven: Lapis!
    Lapiz: No. I'm not Lapis anymore. We're Malachite now.

### Cry for Help

    Peridot: This is Peridot, transmitting on all frequencies from abandoned Crystal System colony planet Earth, to Yellow Diamond. My mission has been compromised. My escort and informant are gone, and I am now stranded! [desperately] Please send help!
    Garnet: It's as I feared.
    [The Communication Hub is glowing and shooting a beam of light towards the sky]
    Pearl: It looks like Peridot somehow repaired the Communication Hub. Well, at least some of it.
    Steven: So... we just gotta wreck it up again, right? (to Amethyst) You guys should form Sugilite!
    Amethyst: (smiling a bit) Yeah... Well, it's up to Garnet, I guess. (smiling widely, to Garnet) What do you say? [Pearl looks scared in the background] Shall we mash it up?...
    Garnet: No.
    Amethyst: But, don't we need to be huge like last time?
    Garnet: Last time was a disaster. Last time we fused, Sugilite went berserk. It's because of her that we can't even warp here anymore. (takes off her visor) I can be brash, you can be reckless. And we can both get carried away. So, for the time being, [She puts her visor back on and Amethyst's reflection can be seen in them] Sugilite is benched. What we need now is to be careful. [Steven gasps] It's you and me, Pearl. Let's fuse. [Pearl looks astonished as she begins to tear up] Don't cry, Pearl. [Pearl tries to not cry and quivers as she strongly breathes in through her nose, sniffling thickly] Come on, let's do this.
    Pearl: I'm right behind you. (sniffling)
    Steven: (running towards them) Woo-hoo! Fusion! Fusion! Fusion! Fusion! *sits to the left of Lion* (Amethyst walks over)
    Garnet: (gemstones glow) Ready.
    Pearl: (grunts; stretches) Hang on, it's been such a long time.
    Sardonyx: Gooooood evening, everybody! (struts over to Lion, Steven, and Amethyst and does a twirl) This is the lovely Sardonyx! Coming to you a-live from the soon-to-be-former Communication Hub! How are y'all doin' tonight?
    Amethyst: (sarcastically) Great...
    Steven: (gasps) Giant woman!
    Amethyst: Maybe you're better off with her / I think she's better for you / I forgot how great it felt to be us / Guess I got carried away. / I had to use you to make me feel strong / But I don't care about that now / I see a tower built out of my mistakes / And it all comes crashing down. / Is there something I can doo-oo / Is there something I can doo-oo-oo / Is there something I can doo-oo / Can I make it up to you?
    [Pearl and Garnet are about to fuse again when Amethyst interrupts the moment]
    Amethyst: Stop!
    Pearl: Is something the matter, Amethyst?
    Amethyst: You... you shouldn't.
    Steven: Pearl, we saw you.
    Pearl: (shocked) What?
    Steven: You need to tell Garnet it was you!
    Garnet: I don't understand.
    Pearl: I'm sorry. It's just... so much fun being Sardonyx with you.
    Garnet: [drops Pearl to the ground] That's why I couldn't see us finding Peridot.
    Pearl: Wait, let me explain!
    Garnet: You've been fixing the hub!
    Pearl: It really was Peridot! The first time.
    Garnet: You tricked me!
    Pearl: No! No, no, no, no! We just needed a reason to fuse! I just wanted to share a few more victories with you!
    Garnet: Those weren't victories!
    Amethyst: Wait, Garnet! You know, we're so much weaker than you! Fusing with you is like our one chance to feel... stronger!
    Garnet: Don't defend her! Peridot is out there somewhere and Pearl's been distracting us with... nothing!
    Pearl: Garnet...
    Garnet: [angrily points at her] That's enough! [to Amethyst] Amethyst, fuse with me!
    Amethyst: But-!
    Garnet: (clenching her fist) Let's just get this over with.

### Keystone Motel

    Steven: Pearl! Where have you been?!
    Pearl: Looking for Peridot… For a few days straight. Steven, I know I might have… disappointed all of you. I know Garnet's very upset with me. But I'm going to prove to her that she can trust me again. [Garnet walks in through the front door] Oh! Garnet! I was just looking for Peridot! She's bound to be somewhere, right? Any new ideas? [Garnet says nothing and walks past her; remorsefully] I'm sorry.
    Greg: [enters the house with a brochure; excitedly] Who wants to go on a road trip?! Umm… Is this a bad time?
    Garnet: No. Please continue.
    Garnet: [agitated, panting] Calm down... I don't feel like forgiving Pearl!... You don't understand, you must... If you're not going to listen, then you can just GO! [splits into Ruby and Sapphire]
    Sapphire: [calmly] We must move past this, Ruby.
    Ruby: [furiously] She lied to us so we'd form Sardonyx! She tricked us! Don't you feel used?!
    Steven: [surprised] Ruby! Sapphire! I…
    Sapphire: You're choosing to take it personally.
    Ruby: IT'S FUSION, SAPPHIRE! WHAT'S MORE PERSONAL TO US THAN FUSION?!
    Sapphire: I know you're still upset...
    Ruby: Oh, so it's just me?!
    Sapphire: Of course not. Can't you see I'm completely engulfed with rage?
    Ruby: Well, it doesn't feel like it!
    Sapphire: The sooner we forgive Pearl, the better it will be for us all.
    Ruby: YOU'RE NOT AS ABOVE THIS AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!
    Sapphire: [about Ruby, while she shakes the table] This will pass. She'll eventually just burn herself out.
    Ruby: [angrily] THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK! I AM AN ETERNAL FLAME, BABY! [flips the table]
    [while Greg talks to Steven, arguing with each other simultaneously]
    Ruby: You don't know me!
    Sapphire: How could I possibly not know you? We always fuse! We always fuse, what are you even going on about fusion?
    Ruby: Look at you! [laughing] You don't even know yourself! Ha!
    Sapphire: So don't act so ridiculous.
    Ruby: I'm ridiculous?!
    Sapphire: Yes, yes.
    Ruby & Sapphire: Steven!
    Steven: [enraged] I was so happy when Garnet said she wanted to go on this trip with me and Dad! Home's been awful! Here's been awful! I thought you wanted to have a fun time, but everyone's been acting awful too! It... it just came with us! I don't understand! Is it... is it me?
    Ruby: ...No! Steven, it's all us!
    Sapphire: But we made him feel like it was his fault... I keep looking into the future, when all of this has already been solved, as if it doesn't matter how you feel in the present! [starting to cry] No wonder you think I don't care...!
    Ruby: Sapphire... No, nonononono! This is all my fault, I... I didn't want to look for a solution, I... I just wanted to be mad! You're right! You're always right! I was being stupid!
    Sapphire: I don't think you're stupid!
    Ruby: I'm... sorry. [gently brushes Sapphire's hair aside, revealing her sad eye]
    Sapphire: You honestly think I'm not upset about what happened? I was just... trying to do the right thing.
    Ruby: I know... [starts smiling] You know what's nice about being split up?
    Sapphire: What?
    Ruby: I get to look at you...
    Sapphire: [pushes her off, laughing] Be serious!
    Ruby: [hugs Sapphire] There's my Laughy Sapphy!
    Sapphire: Shh! You're embarrassing me in front of Steven! [cut to Steven, feeling awkward at the scene]

### Historical Friction

    Steven: Hey, Pearl! [sees a desolate Pearl sitting on the couch, looking at the ceiling] Pearl?
    Pearl: [jumps up] Steven! You're back!
    Steven: Yeah... [sits down] Show business is rough.
    Pearl: Is there something I can help you with?
    Steven: Not unless you can make William Dewey interesting.
    Pearl: How do you know William Dewey?
    Steven: I'm gonna be him in this play! But he's totally boring! He's perfect and he never makes mistakes.
    Pearl: [sigh] Wish I could say the same for myself.
    Steven: Yeah, but nobody's like that! Everybody gets stuff wrong, and then you have to keep going and it's hard, which is why it's great when you never stop trying!
    Pearl: ..When did you get so smart?

### Friend Ship

    [Steven and the Gems warp into the Galaxy Warp and find Peridot, gathering pieces of the Homeworld Warp]
    Peridot: Stupid broken warp. First, the Communication Hub. Now this is busted again. These Crystal Gems are a menace.
    Pearl: Oh, aha! Look! I was right! My plan worked perfectly!
    Steven: [waves at her] Good morning!
    Peridot: What?! How did you know I was here?
    Steven: We found a secret way to track you, and we'll never tell you how, even if you ask nicely.
    [Steven and the Gems enter a room in the ship. Peridot appears on a projected screen]
    Peridot: [laughs] You Gems really are as dull as dirt!
    Pearl: You're the dull one if you thing you can fly this wreck!
    Peridot: [pauses] What? Can you speak louder? Some of these communicators are gunked up.
    Steven: [cleans off a microphone, speaks into it] Pearl says you're the dull one if you think you can fly this wreck!
    Peridot: [waits for Steven's response to come through] [laughs] Fly? I'm not using this vessel to fly. I'm using it to TRAP YOU! [a door closes, trapping Steven and the Gems in the room] Isn't this nice? No more Crystal Gems running around, messing with my plans, destroying my things. Looks like I've got you just where I want you. How does it feel to be so easily outsmarted, you CLODS?!
    Pearl: No...
    Amethyst: [speaks into the microphone] Hey, uh, this is Amethyst. I don't appreciate being called a clod, you clo-
    Peridot: Enough talk! Prepare yourselves for annihilation! [dramatically hits a button] Hiyah! [nothing happens, hits it again] Hiyah!
    [the room's laser cannons activate and take aim at Steven and the Gems]
    Peridot: It works! Yes! DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIIIIE!
    Garnet: Pearl, stop. That isn't helping.
    Pearl: I have to do something. I can't believe I walked us right into Peridot's trap. This is all my… [Peridot's hologram disappears as the ground starts to shake] fault?
    Pearl: [through screen] Garnet… I'm sorry!
    Amethyst: Wait a sec!
    Pearl: Things weren't supposed to turn out this way... [inside, Garnet punches the wall again]
    Garnet: We'll get outta here somehow.
    Pearl: [sighs] That's not what I mean! I really wanted to catch Peridot to make up for what I did... [Garnet withdraws her gauntlets] I wanted to prove to you that... that everything could go back to normal...
    Garnet: Catching Peridot won't make things go back to normal. [through screen] This isn't about Peridot.
    Amethyst: Hey... they're actually talking!
    Steven: Now they can finally work things out!
    [soon, the gears start to activate and turn and start closing into the trapped two]
    Amethyst: Not if they get crushed!
    [both Garnet and Pearl push their unflinching sides]
    Pearl: Please! Tell me! How can I make you forgive me?!
    Garnet: You can't! You lied to me! You need to learn that there are consequences to your actions!
    Pearl: I'm sorry! I... I couldn't help myself!
    Garnet: [kicks opposite side of wall next to Pearl] I don't want to hear your excuses!
    Pearl: But it's true! No matter how hard I try to be strong like you, I'm just a Pearl. I'm useless on my own. [cries] I need someone to tell me what to do.
    [the walls suddenly stop moving; Both Amethyst and Steven pull her whip on its gears in its place. Garnet and Pearl pause for a beat]
    Pearl: When we fuse, I can feel what it's like to be you. Confident and secure, and complete. You're perfect. You're the perfect relationship. You're always together, I just... I wanted to be a part of that.
    Garnet: You're wrong! I'm not as strong as you think. I fell apart over this. Ruby and Sapphire were in turmoil over how you deceived me. [through screen] I came undone.
    Amethyst: Whoa, that really happened?
    Steven: [nods] Hm.
    Garnet: It's not easy being in control. I have weaknesses too, but I choose not to let them consume me. I struggle to stay strong because I know the impact I have on everyone. Please understand, Pearl. [through screen] You have an impact too. [inside] There are times when I look up to you for strength. You are your own gem. You control your destiny. Not me, not Rose, not Steven. But you must choose to be strong, so we can move forward. So I can trust you again.
    Pearl: I understand. I can't give up anymore!
    Garnet: Good.
    Peridot: Stupid button here, I don't know what anything is AGGGH! [raises her fists in frustration] Blast this old Gem tech! Where'd they go? Why isn't anything working?!
    [The Crystal Gems burst into the control bridge]
    Garnet: Surrender, Peridot! You have nowhere to run!
    Steven: The Crystal Gems are gonna get you!
    Peridot: You really think this is the end?! [aims her blaster at the Gems; laughs] This, this is only the beginning... of my escape! [points her blaster away at the ceiling and fires an energy shot, blast a large hole in the roof of the ship, and begins to fly off again with her helicopter fingers; laughing tauntingly] Well, I'd love to stick around and watch another one of your pathetic attempts to capture me, but I guess I'm just too smart for the likes of you lumpy, clumpy, clods! [continues laughing until Steven grabs her onto one of her feet]
    Steven: I caught a Peridot!
    Peridot: Hey! Get your touch-stumps off me, you Steven!

### Nightmare Hospital

    Dr. Maheswaran: [sighs] I had a rough day at work and I'm not in the mood for any more surprises.
    Connie: What happened at work?
    Dr. Maheswaran: There was a really strange case at the hospital today, straight out of a nightmare. [beat] Oh, don't worry, the rules of doctor-patient confidentiality keep me from sharing the graphic details, but... Hang on a moment. When did we get a coat rack?
    Connie: Oh, no...
    Dr. Maheswaran: A SWORD?! Connie, where did you get this?!
    Steven: I-it's—
    Connie: I found it! I just... found it outside and I wanted to show it to Steven.
    Dr. Maheswaran: How could you possibly think this is okay?!
    Connie: It's—
    Dr. Maheswaran: Do you know how many children I see everyday in the hospital who've cut their faces off playing with swords?!
    Connie: I—
    Dr. Maheswaran: NONE!! Because they all have parents who love them, and who don't let them play around with deadly weapons like some kind of gang member! No playing with swords, under any circumstances! [her cell phone rings, answers it] This is Dr. Maheswaran. Yes, calm down, Stromberg. Another one?
    Steven: [to Connie] Is she gonna give it back?
    Dr. Maheswaran: All right, I'll-I'll be right there. [zips sword in duffle bag] I have to go to the hospital. I'll have a talk with your father to calculate just how grounded you are. [leaves, comes back] And we're using the abacus! [leaves again]
    Connie: I hate that abacus. Steven, I'm so sorry. She took your mother's sword!
    Steven: Maybe we can get her to change her mind?
    Connie: She never ever changes her mind. We've got to get that sword back ourselves.
    Connie: Mom... I'm really sorry about lying to you. It started off as a tiny secret, and then I felt like if I didn't hide it, you wouldn't let me see Steven ever again.
    Dr. Maheswaran: Is that how you feel? Are we too controlling?
    Connie: ..Maybe.
    Dr. Maheswaran: I just wanted to be a good mother. I... I just wanted to protect you.
    Connie: I can protect myself now! [Dr. Maheswaran pauses for a long beat, sighs]
    Dr. Maheswaran: Okay. [Connie winces] We'll... pull back on the rules, and I'll try to keep an open mind about [Connie's lenses] this, and [Lion] that, and... him. [Steven stays frightened] It scares me that you can't talk to me. I need to know what's happening in your life. I... I need to step in when you're in over your head. Would you just promise me you'll stop all this lying?
    Connie: [beat] That's a rule. [they embrace each other]
    Dr. Maheswaran: I love you, honey.
    Connie: I love you too, Mom.

### Sadie's Song

    Sadie: Please, Mom. Don't make me do this.
    Barb: Make you? You said you wanted to sing.
    Sadie: Yeah! I did! I did! I did, I did. Just like I say lots of things like, "Hey, Mom. Swimming looks fun", then bam! Suddenly, I'm anchoring a 400 meter relay for the Beach City Seals. "Hey, Mom. I thought signing up for softball would be nice." 6 birthdays later, I'm still getting nothing but kneepads and batting helmets. "Hey, Mom. I wanna sing at this year's Beachapalooza", and what do I get? THIS! I just thought, for once, I get to do things my way, but you came in and took over everything like you always do.
    Barb: I just wanted everyone to know how talented my daughter is.
    Sadie: THIS is not your daughter.
    Barb: [stunned] I'm sorry.

### Catch and Release

    [As Steven gets ready for bed, Peridot kidnaps and drags him to the Galaxy Warp, forcing him to fix the Homeworld Warp]
    Steven: What do you want from me?!
    Peridot: I want to get off this lousy gem-forsaken planet!
    Steven: Huh?
    Peridot: [shapes her fingers into arrows and points down to the Homeworld Warp] You have to fix this!
    Steven: Wait, what?!
    Peridot: You're my last chance. I've got no Flask Robonoids. I've got no foot! I've got no response from Yellow Diamond! [breathes in and out] I know you fixed Lazuli's gem. Whatever you did, you've got to do it to the Homeworld Warp! Or else! [charges up her energy blaster]
    Steven: Oh, o-okay, just give me a second! My mouth gets really dry when I'm scared. [licks his palm] Here goes. [slaps his palm onto the Homeworld Warp pad, but nothing happened]
    Peridot: [confused] What was that? It didn't do anything!
    Steven: It… doesn't always work.
    Peridot: No. No, no, no, no, no! It has to work!
    Steven: I'm really sorry.
    Peridot: [laughs and sits down; plaintively] This was it. This was my last shot. [gasps] I'm gonna die here!
    Steven: Hey, hey, come on. Earth isn't that bad.
    Peridot: It doesn't matter what Earth is like! It's not going to be like anything soon!
    Peridot: Wait. Y-You need me! I'm the only one who knows about the…
    [Garnet grabs Peridot by the waist, squeezes her and poofs her to her gemstone as her limb enhancers fall to the ground]
    Pearl: [shocked] What on earth?!
    Amethyst: Ugh, sick. There's bits of her all over.
    Garnet: Nope. She's right here. [bubbles Peridot's gemstone and sends it off to the temple] And now she's in the temple.
    Pearl: So… these weren't actually part of her body?
    Steven: [entering Rose's room] Room, I need to talk to Peridot.
    Cloud Peridot: I'm the only one who knows about the…
    Steven: The what?!
    Peridot: My limb enhancers! Where are my limb enhancers?!
    Steven: Aww, you're like, an angry little slice of pie.
    Peridot: Stop talking! I demand to know what this place is and where I-- [looks up and sees all gems in bubbles; horrified] Oh my stars. You're going to harvest me?
    Steven: [getting padded by Peridot] Why are you acting like this?!
    Peridot: You smashed me into a limbless cloud, you trapped me in your bubble dungeon, and you called me... cute! [Steven evades her punch, face-flat on the floor]
    Steven: I didn't poof you! I freed you! [Peridot turns back]
    Peridot: Why would you make such a miscalculation?
    Steven: Back at the warp pad, what were you trying to say? Why do we need you? What do you know?
    Peridot: What do I know? Everything there is to know about the Cluster, you pebble!
    Steven: Cluster? Wait, pebble?
    Peridot: My mission. The reason why I'm on this sad rock in the first place! I was to check progress on the Cluster! Just in and out, before it hatches. I wasn't supposed to get stuck here! But now it's going to emerge and nothing can stop it, and we'll all be shattered!!
    Steven: Okay, okay, wait, slow down. Now, from the top—emerging, hatching, Clusters?
    Peridot: You wanna know?
    Steven: Yes.
    Peridot: You really wanna know?
    Steven: Yes?
    Peridot: [in bathroom] Hmm... Seems I've discovered some sort of archaic... think chamber. Roomy, with a fresh hint of Earth citrus. [lifts toilet seat] A perfect crossroads for my escape.
    Amethyst: [fiddling the bathroom doorknob] It's locked.
    Garnet: Peridot, open the door! [flushing sounds are heard]
    Amethyst: Uh, if you're trying to flush yourself down the toilet, it won't work. [cut to Peridot spinning inside the toilet bowl] Trust me, I've tried.
    Pearl: How did she get out?! We bubbled her!
    Amethyst: Maybe we needed a bigger bubble.
    Garnet: My bubbles are fine.
    Steven: [sweating nervously] I did it.
    Pearl: [shocked] Steven, why would you do such a thing?!
    Steven: Because she knows something. Something that's made her scared.
    Amethyst: Duh, Homeworld girl knows we're gonna beat her into a green pancake.
    Steven: No, not 'cause of us. 'Cause of something called "the Cluster."
    Garnet: Cluster? That's new.
    Pearl: What else did she tell you?
    Steven: That's all I got.
    Peridot: That's right, you dirt bombs! You don't even know what's coming! [notices her reflection in the mirror] Ooh…
    Garnet: I'm tired of playing these games. If we can't fight her, fine. We'll talk. Peridot!
    Peridot: [slips off the sink] Whoa!
    Garnet: All right, no more fighting. Let's just have a civil conversation.
    Peridot: As if I'd negotiate with you, filthy war machine!
    Garnet: [summons her gauntlets] Okay, let's kick her butt.
    Steven: Wait!
    Peridot: Yeah! Destroy me again! [hangs on bath curtain pole with a plunger] And have fun trying to talk to me when I'm in a bubble! [almost slips off]
    Pearl: I really hate to say it, but unfortunately if she has information, she's more valuable to us like… this.
    Garnet: This is going to be tricky. [hear knobs turning, water splashing]
    Peridot: H-h-hot hot hot!!
    Steven: You have to turn the knob the other way for cold! [later in the kitchen with the Gems] Wait, so we're just gonna let her live in my bathroom?
    Pearl: Well, yes. What other option do we have? Keep her outside on a leash?
    Peridot: What a great souvenir of that other time you assaulted me.
    Steven: Oh, right, sorry. I can take it back.
    Peridot: No, it's too late! You… wouldn't happen to have the rest?
    Steven: [washing his face] Uh, sorry, we lost them. Well, we kinda threw 'em away. [points to his toothbrush, sitting on the floor next to her] Can you pass me that?
    Peridot: [picks it up] Is this a weapon?!
    Steven: Only for cavities. [Peridot tosses him his toothbrush] Thanks!
    Peridot: [gestures to a comb] Is that a weapon?
    Steven: [while brushing his teeth] No. That's a comb I never use.
    Peridot: [climbs onto the toilet and gestures to the towel he's holding] Is that a weapon?
    Steven: Hmm? Oh, well, I guess if you get it wet and roll it up. [rolls up his towel, making Peridot flinch in fear] Look, I know you're scared, but I'm not going to hurt you. And whatever's going on, whatever the "Cluster" is, I wanna help.
    Peridot: I doubt you can help me, but I… appreciate the offer.
    Steven: [smiles] Now, do you mind moving (aside)? [points at the toilet] I have to use that.
    Peridot: [as the star iris closes in on her] For what?

### When It Rains

    Garnet: [knocking on the bathroom door] Open the door, Peridot! If this "Cluster" is putting us in danger, you need to tell us what it is so we can stop it!
    Peridot: No! I hate you! I'm not telling you anything about the Cluster!
    Amethyst: Oh, come on. Is it like a big, hunk of granola?
    Peridot: What's granola?
    Pearl: I'm sure it's not granola. Now, Peridot, I'm sure we can reach some sort of agreement. Perhaps a trade is in order?
    Peridot: Oh, sure. Why don't you just give me back my leg enhancements and my arm attachments with my screen and my log and all my information? Oh, wait, YOU DESTROYED THEM! So, no, I don't think we can reach some sort of agreement!
    [The Crystal Gems groan in annoyance]
    Steven: [flushing the toilet] Okay, Peridot, you can turn around now. [exits the bathroom; clears throat] Sorry for interrupting your interrogation.
    Garnet: Don't worry about it, Steven.
    Pearl: I swear, Peridot is gonna crack any second now.
    Peridot: I'll never crack for the likes of you, you… Crystal Clods! [laughs]
    Pearl: [angrily] Ooh, I got your clods right here, you little…!
    Garnet: [puts her hand on her shoulder] Hold on, Pearl. If she's not gonna be of any help, let's investigate this thing on our own.
    Steven: I'll come with you.
    Garnet: Sorry, Steven. We're gonna need you to stay here and keep an eye on our…guest.
    Steven: Really?
    Amethyst: Yeah. Make sure she doesn't try anything.
    Pearl: Don't worry. She's harmless without her limb enhancers.
    Peridot: I'M NOT HARMLESS!
    Pearl: Oh, hush up!
    Steven: [calling out to Peridot] They left, you know. You can come out now.
    Peridot: No. I-I like it in here.
    Steven: My dad's from Earth, but my mom's a Gem.
    Peridot: You're some sort of hybrid? How is that possible?
    Steven: The answer to that is a story I like to call, "The Ballad of Rose and Greg."
    Peridot: These are the early attempts at artificial fusion.
    Steven: That's a lot of gem shards.
    Peridot: We were growing them here at this very site. But these were just prototypes for the final product, a singular giant artificial fusion, comprised of millions of gem shards…the Cluster.
    Steven: Peridot, you're saying there's a giant mutant gem the size of the Earth under us right now?
    Peridot: Oh, no. When it forms, it'll be much, much bigger than the Earth. Right now, it lies dormant, incubating in the Earth's core. But when it emerges and takes its physical form, it will destroy the planet. The prototypes are already emerging. The Cluster is next. If we can't get off this planet, we've got to stop the Cluster! I thought it'd be impossible, but now we have a chance.
    Steven: What is it?
    Peridot: [grabs Steven's shoulders and grins malevolently] It's you, Steven! [she and Steven climb out of the control room] Now that you're filled in, we can get to work!
    Steven: Uhh, how am I supposed to help?
    Peridot: Well, you have all the information that we need about Earth and its erratic behavior. Put that together with my expansive knowledge of the Cluster and we just might be able to stop it!
    Steven: No, Peridot, I don't think you get it. Just because I know how clouds work doesn't mean I know how to stop a giant mutant in the center of the earth. Besides, the only reason that I know anything about clouds and rain is because my dad told me.
    Peridot: What are you talking about?
    Steven: I used to be really scared of thunderstorms, just like you. Then Dad explained how rain and all that stuff works, then I wasn't scared of rain anymore.
    Peridot: Well, I'm sure you have other knowledge about how this planet works.
    Steven: Sure, but none of it's gonna help us. If we want to stop this Cluster thing, we'll need help from the Crystal Gems.
    Peridot: I said I don't need them! Let's just warp me back to the bathroom, or whatever you call it, and we'll take care of this. If it looks really bad, then we can just ask this "dad" for help, right?

### Back to the Barn

    Peridot: What is that?!
    Steven: [speaking with the Cluster puppet] It's the Cluster.
    Peridot: It does not look like that. But it is real, and it can activate at any moment!
    Amethyst: What a cluster.
    Garnet: That abomination must be stopped.
    Pearl: But how? We'll need to build some sort of machine to take us to the center of the Earth, it'll have to-
    Peridot: [swats at Pearl, interrupting her] Hey! I wasn't finished speaking! What we need is to build some sort of machine to take us to the center of the Earth.
    Pearl: All right. What we have here in the barn should be adequate enough for us to get started. First, I recommend we organize the component types, and assemble a rough blueprint based off what we have available. Sorry, Steven. It's a lovely drawing, but it won't look like this. [Steven stops spinning on the swivel chair, now frowning]
    Peridot: [examines piece of chalk] Hmm... Good. Yes, this is adequate. Thank you. You can go now.
    Pearl: ..Uh, what?
    Peridot: Hm? [beat] Umm, that will be all? [claps to her for a beat, whispers to Steven] How do you get her to leave?
    Pearl: Excuse me, I am not leaving.
    Steven: Yeah! She's gotta stay here to help us build the drill thing, right?
    Peridot: [laughs] No, no, you're confused. A Pearl can't build a thing like this.
    Steven: Why not?
    Peridot: Because Pearls aren't for this! They're... for standing around, an-and looking nice, and uh... holding your stuff for you. Right?
    Pearl: That's enough! If we're going to work together, you're going to have to listen to me.
    Peridot: Listen to you? [starts laughing, turns to Steven] Did you teach her to talk like this?
    Steven: What are you talking about?
    Peridot: She's a Pearl. She's a made-to-order servant just like the hundreds of other Pearls being flaunted around back on Homeworld.
    Steven: Wait... There's hundreds of Pearls?!
    Pearl: [nervous] Well... yes, but—
    Peridot: [holding Pearl's sash] And she looks like a fancy one, too. [Pearl gasps]
    Steven: Hundreds of Pearls...
    Peridot: So, who do you belong to anyway?
    Pearl: [grabs her sash away from her] Nobody!!
    Peridot: Then... what are you for? [Pearl recoils back] Well, you can belong to me for now. Ha! A Peridot with a Pearl? What would they say back home?
    Pearl: Now listen here, you tiny twerp! In case you've forgotten, you're on our turf now! And I didn't fight a thousand-year war for this planet's independence to take orders from the likes of you!!
    Peridot: Excuse me? I am a natural technician and a certified Kindergartener. I was made for this! You were made to take orders, not to give them!
    Steven: Whoa, whoa, hang on, guys! Now, we can all agree that you are both good at building things, so... can't you just try listening to each other?
    Both: NO!
    Pearl: I'm as good at building things as you! Better, even!
    Peridot: Ha! Name one thing you could engineer better. Go on!
    Steven: [whispers] Robots.
    Both: Hm?
    Steven: You should build robots. Giant robots! I see a race. A giant robo-race... with prizes. Giant robo-prizes!
    Pearl: You mean like a competition?
    Steven: Yeah! To see who's better at building stuff!
    Peridot: What are these robots you speak of?
    Steven: They're like those funky marble guys you were sending—only bigger, and you can ride them! [makes robot noises]
    Peridot: Hah! Building one of these robots will be easy!
    Pearl: Well, I can build one faster!
    Peridot: That's what you think!

### Too Far

    Peridot: [talking into a tape recorder] Log date 7-1-1-2. It's the third rotation of the Earth since commencements of a... collaborative approach to stopping the Cluster.
    Pearl: I've finished drawing up the blueprints for the drill head. Peridot, if you could come take a look at this?
    Peridot: Remind me again why I should listen to you? Oh, right. [plays recorder; thru recorder] The Pearl here has developed an aptitude for engineering that I begrudgingly respect. But that doesn't explain the spontaneous singing... crying... singing while crying.
    Pearl: [to Steven; annoyed] Why did you give her that?
    Steven: Well, we did destroy all her stuff. I thought it might help make her feel a little better.
    Peridot: [thru recorder] Clod! [fast-forwards] Mighty clod! [fast-forwards] Running out of ways to say clod.
    Garnet: All right. I chased away those cows. Now let's get to work.
    Peridot: [to Garnet; clears throat] Before we begin, would you mind unfusing? It's making me incredibly uncomfortable.
    [beat as Steven, Amethyst and Pearl nervously look to Garnet. The scene then cuts to Garnet leashing Peridot to a fence.]
    Peridot: [as Garnet walks away] What?! What'd I say?!
    Steven: Did we really have to do that?
    Garnet: Her having free reign of the place made me incredibly uncomfortable.
    [Steven and Amethyst walk up to a leashed Peridot growling over a microwave]
    Peridot: I just need some sort of leverage optimizer...
    Amethyst: Leverage optimizer?
    Peridot: That's what I said.
    Amethyst: Ohhh! Ha! You mean you want a screwdriver? [laughing]
    Peridot: Do you have one or not?
    Steven: Uh... [hands a screwdriver] Why don't you just use this one?
    Peridot: Because it was outside my radius.
    Amethyst: He-hey... Hey, Peridot... [points to her nose] What do you call this?
    Peridot: A scent sponge.
    Steven: Huh? [Amethyst laughs some more]
    Amethyst: Okay... [opens her eye] what's this?
    Peridot: Vision sphere.
    Steven: Peridot, that's—
    Amethyst: Wait, wait, Steven! Peridot... [waves her fingers] these?
    Peridot: [getting annoyed] Touch stumps.
    Amethyst: [points to her foot] This?!
    Peridot: Gravity connectors.
    Amethyst: This?!
    Peridot: THAT'S YOUR BUTT!!! [Steven and Amethyst laugh out loud]
    Steven: Oh, man, Peridot, you're killing me!
    Peridot: I am not! That would violate our truce agreement!
    Amethyst: No, no, no! You're funny!
    Peridot: Funny?
    Peridot: The strangest thing is, Amethyst... you think you have to listen to them! [laughs] You are the one they should put you in charge!
    Amethyst: Ha! That's your best joke yet.
    Peridot: No, really. Pearl is a Pearl. Garnet is a fusion. I don't even know what he's supposed to be.
    Steven: Hey!
    Peridot: You're the only Crystal Gem that's actually a Gem!
    Amethyst: Uh... [laughs nervously] What?
    Peridot: You outrank everyone on your team. They should be listening to you. You're a strong, singular, fully-functional soldier, despite the fact that you're defective.
    Amethyst: ..Defective?
    Peridot: Well, sure. You're small.
    Amethyst: So?
    Peridot: Well, you're not supposed to be! Hold on, wait, wait. Let me guess. [points to Amethyst's hole] This— [runs to hole] This is the hole you came out of. Too small, too low, the exit marks look about 500 years newer than every other hole. Hmm... this place must have been empty when you came out. No wonder you have no idea what you're supposed to look like!
    Steven: Peridot... [Amethyst holds Steven on the shoulder]
    Amethyst: What was I supposed to look like?
    Peridot: Well, you're a quartz. They're huge, loyal soldiers. You should be twice your size. Broad shouldered, intimidating, but you simply stayed in the ground too long.
    Amethyst: Are you saying I'm wrong?!
    Peridot: [laughing] Gemetically speaking, yes. When you think about it it's also... [snickers] funny! [Amethyst feels more enraged]
    Steven: Amethyst?
    Peridot: Hey, soldier. Maybe you can help me get this hunk of drill off.
    [Amethyst violently slashes the drill head off of an Injector with her whip]
    Peridot: See? Look at that! You can do everything a normal quartz can do. Let's head back and shove this thing in Pearl's face!
    Steven: Amethyst? Are you okay?
    Amethyst: Don't worry about it.
    Pearl: WE LEAVE FOR ONE SECOND AND EVERYTHING GOES OFF THE RAILS!
    Garnet: I blame the cows.
    Peridot: [thru recorder] "Log date 7-1-1-2. This entire planet is backwards. There hasn't been one instance of correct behavior exhibited by anyone of these Crystal Gems. I have conclusion that they are all defective. But I am no better. I failed my mission and I'm now working with the enemy. And I can't even get that right. I have apparently "hurt" Amethyst's "feelings", which was not my intent. If I damaged my standing with the best Gem here, then I've made a serious mistake. I'm still learning. I hope you understand. I want to understand. I'm sorry. [pause] Peridot, Facet 5, end log."

### The Answer

    Garnet: [narrating] Sapphire had been called to Earth by Blue Diamond, specifically to share her vision of the future.
    Sapphire: [enters her Diamond's palanquin] My Diamond, I have arrived.
    Garnet: [narrating] Blue Diamond spoke…
    Blue Diamond (Garnet): Sapphire, tell me what will happen here.
    Sapphire: I foresee the rebels attacking the Cloud Arena. Before they are cornered, they will destroy the physical forms of seven gems, including two of my Ruby guards, and myself. Immediately after my form is destroyed, the rebels will be captured. The rebellion ends here.
    Blue Diamond (Garnet): Thank you, Sapphire.
    Garnet: [narrating] Blue Diamond said, relieved.
    Blue Diamond (Garnet): That's all I needed to know.
    Sapphire: I look forward to speaking with you again once I reform back on Homeworld.
    Rose: [off-screen] Blue Diamond, leave this planet! This colony will not be completed!
    Ruby Guard: It's the rebels!
    Various Gems: Who are you?! Show yourselves!
    Rose: [floating from above Pearl] We…
    Rose & Pearl: …are the Crystal Gems!
    Garnet: [narrating] The attack was right on schedule.
    Sapphire: Thank you, Ruby. You did your best.
    Garnet: [narrating] Ruby suddenly realized what Sapphire meant. She'd known that Ruby would fail. Sapphire had accepted it. But Ruby… Ruby could not.
    Ruby: NO!! [charges at Sapphire, pushing her out of the way of Pearl's attack, causing them to spin into the air and accidentally fuse into Garnet for the first time]
    Garnet: [narrating] The furious crowd closed in around Ruby and Sapphire. They'd never seen fusion of two different types of gems.
    Various Gems (Garnet): Unbelievable! Disgusting! This is unheard of!
    Garnet: [narrating] Blue Diamond's voice cut through the crowd.
    Blue Diamond (Garnet): The rebels have fled. Sapphire, this is not the scenario you described.
    Sapphire: This is… not what I saw! I don't know what happened, I…
    Ruby: No! It was me!
    Blue Diamond (Garnet): Clearly.
    Garnet: [narrating] Said Blue Diamond.
    Blue Diamond (Garnet): How dare you fuse with a member of my court?
    Ruby: Forgive me, I…
    Blue Diamond (Garnet): You will be broken for this!
    Both: Where did we go, what did we do?
    I think we made something entirely new
    And it wasn't quite me and it wasn't quite you
    I think it was someone entirely new.
    Ruby: Oh, um
    Well, I just can't stop thinking
    Sapphire: So, um
    Did you say I was different?
    Ruby: And you hadn't before
    Sapphire: Of course not
    When would I have ever?
    Ruby: I'm so sorry
    Sapphire: No, no, don't be
    Ruby: And now you're here forever!
    Sapphire: What about you?
    Ruby: What about me?
    Sapphire: Well, you're here too
    We're here together.
    Mm-m-m-m-mm
    Both: Mm-m-m-m-mm, hm-m-m-m-m
    Mm-m-m-m-mm
    Mm-m-m-m-mm...
    Garnet: [narrating] I was back. I was someone and I didn't know who. But I felt I was getting the hang of my strange new form. [beat] And then I fell.
    Past Garnet: Ahh! [tumbling down a hill and crashes in bushes] Ouch... [a sword is pointed to her face] Aahh! Don't hurt her! Don't hurt... me?
    [Pan up to see Pearl as the sword bearer]
    Pearl: It's you... the fusion.
    Past Garnet: We didn't mean to fuse! Well... well, we did this time. We'll unfuse! We-we'll... w-we'll... [Rose Quartz comes by]
    Rose: No, no, please. I'm glad to see you again.
    Garnet: And there they were - Rose Quartz, the leader of the rebellion and her terrifying renegade Pearl.
    Past Garnet: I don't... upset you?
    Rose: Who cares about how I feel? How you feel is bound to be much more interesting.
    Past Garnet: How I feel? I-I feel... uh, lost... and scared... a-and happy. W-Why am I so sure that I'd rather be this than everything I was supposed to be, and that I'd rather do this than everything I was supposed to do? [Rose chuckles and smiles]
    Rose: Welcome to Earth.
    Past Garnet: C-Can you tell me?! How was Ruby able to alter fate? Or, why was Sapphire willing to give up everything? W-What am I?!
    Rose: No more questions. Don't ever question this. You already are the answer.
    [Flashback story ends as Garnet concludes]
    Steven: So…what was it? The answer?
    Garnet: [whispers] Love.
    Steven: Wow… I knew it.
    Garnet: So did I.

### Steven's Birthday

    [Steven runs and hides to an edge of the barn; he de-ages into his normal state]
    Steven: Ohhh, geez! If I can just keep this up for the rest of my life, no one will suspect a thi—
    [he sees wide-eyed Amethyst and Greg staring at Steven for a beat; he drops a piñata stick]
    Amethyst: What are you doing?!
    Steven: [stammers] U-uh— well, what are [ages back] you doing?
    Greg: What are you doing to your body?!
    Amethyst: Woah, woah, woah... Have you been stretching yourself out all day?!
    Steven: No! I was just... slouching.
    Greg: Why are you doing this? It... really isn't like you.
    Steven: Because, Dad! I can't stay a kid forever! When Connie grows up and becomes president, what is that gonna make me? First Boy?!
    Amethyst: Steven, you can't just keep stretching forever. If you hold it too long, you could really hurt yourself.
    Steven: Yeah, well, I'm half-human so maybe it works different for me! We'll just have to wait and see, right?!
    Greg: [sighs] Steven...
    Connie: [holds up crying Baby Steven in front of everyone] We were just talking, then all of a sudden…
    Pearl: He turned back into a baby?!
    Connie: Yes!
    Amethyst: Dude, I told you. Stretching your body out for that long is not good for you. [Baby Steven talks in baby language in response; holds him up to Pearl] Here you go, Pearl.
    Pearl: Oh, no, no, don't give him to me!
    Garnet: Hand him over, Amethyst.
    Amethyst: Here you go. [gives her Baby Steven]
    [Greg, Connie and Amethyst (as a baby car seat for Baby Steven) drive up in his van; Connie waves a maraca trying to calm down Baby Steven]
    Connie: How can the Gems not know what to do?!
    Greg: You think they know the first thing about raising a baby? That was all me! But I don't get it. Driving always used to calm him down.
    Connie: But, how do we change him back?!
    Greg: I don't know! Look, Connie, let me take you home. I-I'll call you when this all this gets sorted out.
    [Connie turns to Baby Steven babbling and crying]
    Connie: W-Wait, no! I wanna stay.
    Greg: Are you sure?
    Connie: Yeah! I just want to be there for Steven. Don't worry, Steven. It doesn't matter to me what age it seems like you are, I wanna hang out with you no matter what. Your dad still has to earn his car wash and the Gems have to do gem stuff, so I'll watch you when they're not around. I can come see you after I'm done training with Pearl, too. Doesn't that sound fun? [Baby Steven holds onto her finger; cooing happily]
    Greg: Look at that. He finally stopped crying.
    Connie: Well, that's a start. [Amethyst clears her throat]
    Greg: What's up, Amethyst?
    Amethyst: Baby Steven needs changin'.

### It Could've Been Great

    Steven: Life and death and love and birth
    And peace and war on the planet Earth
    Is there anything that's worth more
    Than peace and love on the planet Earth?
    Whoahh, come on and sing it with me
    Peridot: Sing?
    Steven: The words relate to the key
    Peridot: Key?
    Steven: If it's a pattern, if it's a pattern
    Then just repeat after me.
    Life and death and love and birth
    Peridot: Life and death and love and birth
    Steven: Now using mi-fa-mi-mi-fa-mi-ti-la!
    Both: And peace and war on the planet Earth.
    Steven: Yes, yes! That's it!
    Peridot: That's so easy.
    Steven: Yeah, but that's what's fun about it! You should write something, you should write a song.
    Peridot: About what?
    Steven: Whatever you're thinking.
    Peridot: I guess we're already here, I guess we already know
    We've all got something to fear, we've all got nowhere to go
    I think you're all insane, but I guess I am too
    Anybody would be if they were stuck on Earth with you.
    Steven: [laughing] Yes! Life and death and love and birth and
    Amethyst: Life and death and love and birth and
    Pearl: Life and death and love and birth
    And peace and war on the planet Earth.
    Garnet: Is there anything that's worth more
    Steven: Is there anything that's worth more
    Peridot: Is there anything that's worth more
    Than peace and love on the planet Earth?
    Peridot: Coordinates! [popping out from the drill's cockpit] We still have the Cluster's exact coordinates in order to drill!
    Pearl: There's a Diamond base that may hold that information, but getting there is going to be difficult.
    Steven: How come?
    Pearl: Because it's not accessible by warp pad, and it's on… [gazes up into the sky]
    Steven: [gasps] The moon?!
    Pearl: Yes, Steven. The moon.
    Steven: [singing while floating around] ♪ I was bouncing on the moon one day… ♪ [bumps into the wall and looks up at a mural] Huh? Hey, Peridot, who is this supposed to be?
    Peridot: [approaches and gasps in surprise at the mural] It's Blue Diamond! Wait. Are they all here?! Ah, yes! There she is!
    Steven: Who?
    [They run up to the mural of Yellow Diamond]
    Peridot: Behold, Yellow Diamond! Isn't she magnificent?
    Steven: Wow! So, who are the Diamonds anyway? They seem like a big deal.
    Peridot: Are you joking me? The Diamonds are the Gem matriarchs! Together, they make up the Great Diamond Authority that governs Homeworld and all the outlying colonies! We live to serve them. [Garnet clears her throat and glares down at her in annoyance; nervously chuckles] I…I mean, we were all made to serve them, even though some of us don't anymore.
    Peridot: This is so incredible! Only the most elite can enter these sanctums. We are literally walking in the footsteps of the Diamonds.
    Steven: They must really like stairs. [They enter an upstairs room with only a single mysterious object in the middle] Hey, what's this room?
    Garnet: [continues walking upstairs] It's not what we came for.
    Amethyst: Can we hurry it up? This place gives me the creeps.
    Steven: [as they reach the top of the moon base] We really are on the moon.
    [Peridot brings up a hologram of Earth, which starts eroding to a hollowed-out version with a ring system as Steven and the Gems awe in shock]
    Peridot: Ta-da! A finished Earth colony. Wow, look at this! Eighty-nine Kindergartens, sixty-seven spires, a Galaxy Warp in each facet, efficient use of all available materials. What were you thinking shutting this operation down?! It could've been great!
    Garnet: No! You're wrong!
    Peridot: What do you mean? It's perfect. Look at it!
    Pearl: We are looking at it.
    Amethyst: Yeah, this plan stinks!
    Garnet: Completing this colony would have meant the extinction of all life on Earth!
    Peridot: But think of the good it would've done! The Gems that would've been made, our empire expanded!
    Pearl: Rose Quartz believed all life was precious and worth protecting.
    Peridot: Well, if she wanted to protect it, she did a lousy job! There'd be no Cluster if the Earth had stayed a colony! Now there's no colony, and there's gonna be no Earth! So thank you, Rose Quartz, you doomed the planet!
    [Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst stare angrily at Peridot for a beat]
    Steven: Ohh-hoh-hoh! [nervously] Is there anything that's worth more than—
    Garnet: [picks up Peridot by the tunic, sharply] You, listen to me, now. [summons gauntlet] You were talking about things that you do not understand.
    Steven: Garnet! Stop, please! It's not worth it. We're done here. Let's just go home.
    [Garnet drops Peridot on the seat and smashes the control panel with her gauntlet and the hologram dissipates; the Gems start leaving soon after. Steven sighs]
    Peridot: What'd I say? I'm just stating a fact. The rebellion didn't really save Earth, it just delayed the inevitable.
    Steven: [sighs] That's not the way they see it. They've spent thousands of years trying to protect the Earth. I thought maybe you finally understood why.

### Message Received

    Peridot: [quickly hides the Diamond Communicator prism she took from the Moon Base behind her back when she sees Steven] Oh! Steven.
    Steven: Peridot, I need to talk to you.
    Peridot: Uh, yeah! Sure.
    [They both enter the truck]
    Peridot: Why are we in this broken down vehicle?
    Steven: I wanted to ask you… [looks down at her hiding right hand, then up to her face] about the Diamonds?
    Peridot: Oh! I don't know what the others have told you, but there's a reason they're in charge.
    Steven: Why's that?
    Peridot: They're objectively better than us. Every Gem has their strengths and weaknesses, but not them. They're absolutely totally completely flawless beings! Especially my diamond, Yellow Diamond, the most perfect, the most reasonable, rational, efficient decider ever to exist in the universe!
    Steven: You're really loyal to her, aren't you?
    Peridot: How could I not be? We might have our little truce, but I'll never forsake the Gem I was made for!
    [Steven shows the Gems the Diamond Communicator prism Peridot took from the Moon Base after locking her in the barn, and they gasp in shock]
    Pearl: She took a direct line to the Diamonds, from the moon base?! What was she thinking?!
    Amethyst: [frustrated] Man, after everything we've gone through, she's still out to get us! Oh, I'm taking back all my cool nicknames for her.
    Yellow Pearl: This is the Yellow Diamond control room.
    Amethyst: Is that another Pearl?
    Steven: Who is she?
    Pearl: Not all Pearls know each other, Steven.
    Yellow Pearl: Who authorized you to make this call?
    Peridot: No one. But it's an emergency!
    Yellow Pearl: That's no excuse to use the direct Diamond communication channel!
    Yellow Diamond: Pearl?
    Yellow Pearl: Yes, my Diamond?
    Yellow Diamond: Why is there someone on the diamond line?
    Yellow Pearl: I don't know! I was just about to tell her that…
    Yellow Diamond: I'll take it from here. [brings the screen up to her eye level, revealing herself]
    [The Crystal Gems gasp in shock]
    Amethyst: Is that…
    Pearl: Yellow…
    Garnet: Diamond.
    Peridot: Wait! I— I wouldn't have called just to waste your time with a report.
    Yellow Diamond: You already have.
    Peridot: [nervously] No, I mean... The reason I called – the real reason... I believe we should terminate the Cluster.
    Yellow Diamond: ...Why?
    Peridot: The organic ecosystem creates resources unique to this world. We can't sacrifice all that potential just for one geo-weapon! I'd like to tell you some plans I came up with to utilize the planet without disrupting the local—
    Yellow Diamond: I've heard enough! I don't care about potential and resources.
    Peridot: What?
    Yellow Diamond: I want my Cluster, and I want that planet to die. Just make that happen.
    Peridot: ...No!
    Yellow Pearl: Huh?!
    Yellow Diamond: Are you questioning my authority?
    Peridot: I'm questioning your objectivity! My Diamond.
    Yellow Pearl: Well! [Yellow Diamond stands up]
    Yellow Diamond: You are out of line.
    Peridot: I just think—
    Yellow Diamond: I'm not interested in the puny thoughts of a Peridot.
    Peridot: But—
    Yellow Diamond: You have disrespected this channel and my time with your presence, and you would do well to—
    Peridot: But—
    Yellow Diamond: Shut your mouth!! [beat] You have failed at every stage of this mission! Your only chance to redeem yourself is to obey this simple order: You are to leave the Cluster to grow. It will tear apart the Earth, and I will take immense satisfaction in erasing that hideous rock off of our star maps! Is that clear?!
    Peridot: I won't do it!! I can tell you with certainty that there are things on this planet worth protecting! [Steven smiles]
    Yellow Diamond: What do you know about the Earth?!
    Peridot: [losing her temper] APPARENTLY MORE THAN YOU, YOU... CLOD! [Yellow Diamond suddenly becomes incredibly livid at a petrified Peridot] Uhh... Peridot out.
    [She terminates communication; Steven and the Gems come out from hiding and happily congratulate Peridot]
    Steven: That was AMAZING!
    Peridot: [sweating and looking devastated] I can't believe I just did that...
    Steven: I was so wrong about being so wrong about you!
    Peridot: [still sweating and devastated] I can't believe I just did that...!
    Garnet: You thought you could change her mind.
    Amethyst: Yellow D got torn down by the "Peridactyl"!
    Peridot: [sighs and gives the communicator to Pearl] Can one of you take this?
    Pearl: Why?
    Peridot: Because it can be remotely detonated.
    [The communicator starts to glow red; Steven and the Gems panic while Peridot curls up into a ball on the ground]
    Pearl: How do we stop it?!
    Garnet: Just get rid of it!
    Pearl: Err, here, Amethyst! [passes it to her]
    Amethyst: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT?!
    [She throws it to Steven, who bubbles it; Garnet punches it away into the sky, where it explodes harmlessly]
    Peridot: [still curled up] I thought I could reason with her...
    Amethyst: [grinning] Yeah, you REALLY made her mad.
    Pearl: [smiling] And then you insulted her to her face.
    Steven: [overjoyed] Do you know what this means?!
    Peridot: I'm a traitor to my Homeworld.
    Steven: You're a Crystal Gem!!! [hugs Peridot]
    Garnet: [smiling] Whether you like it or not.
    [Peridot starts groaning loudly as the camera zooms out to the whole of Earth]

### Log Date 7 15 2

    Peridot: Log Date 7-1-5-2. I can't believe I just did that! I disobeyed my orders and went against Yellow Diamond's wishes! I'm a traitorous clod! I never want to think about what I've done again! [stops recording, rewinds and plays the recording; laughs madly] And I called Yellow Diamond a clod, right to her face! [falls to her knees] I called Yellow Diamond a clod, right to her face.
    Steven: Uh, Peridot? Are you going to be okay?
    Peridot: [enthusiastically with a deranged smile] No!
    Steven: It's all going to work out. You're with us now.
    Peridot: You don't understand! I'm protecting a planet I was once trying to destroy! I used to follow every order, every rule. Now I'm a traitor. [cringes] A rebel! [eyes turn to stars] A CRYSTAL GEMMMMMMMMMMMM.... [snickers]
    Steven: Well, that tape recorder seems to be helping.
    Peridot: NO IT'S NOT! [throws recorder at Garnet, who had just entered] It's a chronicle of my descent into madness!!!
    Garnet: [holding out recorder to Peridot] You dropped this.
    Peridot: Get it away from me! Give it to Steven. Return madness to its source!
    [Steven presses the rewind button on the tape recorder, rewinding all the way back to the beginning]
    Peridot: [through recorder] Log Date 7-1-1-2. The Steven has given me this Earth machine to replace my communicator log. It looks…extremely primitive. He also said he wanted me to stop calling him, "the Steven."
    Steven: It's just "Steven."
    Peridot: [through recorder] I said I'd call him whatever I want. [hisses at him; Steven holds up his finger in her face] He told me that was rude.
    Steven: Rude.
    Peridot: [through recorder] I guess I'll call him, "Steven."
    Peridot: "Jokes." [opens up the joke book; clears throat] "Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken wanted to get to the other side of the road." [laughs] What's a chicken?
    [Steven installs a TV, inserts a VHS tape in it, and Camp Pining Hearts begins to start]
    TV Narrator: On the last episode of "Camp Pining Hearts"…
    Paulette: I don't care that you're on the yellow team, Percy. We can make this work!
    Percy: It's the color war, Paulette. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
    [They lean in closer to kiss]
    Peridot: What is this strange ritual?
    Steven: Uh, that's um…
    Peridot: Are they attempting fusion?
    Steven: No, well, my dad told me during certain stages in your life--
    Peridot: How could anyone indulge in this baseless drivel?! I'll have no part of it! [through recorder] Hour 78 of "Camp Pining Hearts." [repeating Percy's line] It's the the color war, Paulette. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
    Steven: Uh, you've been here for a few days. Is everything okay?
    Peridot: I've just been… watching your previously recorded entertainment.
    Steven: Is that the same episode from three days ago?
    Peridot: There's more than one?
    Steven: Hmm... nah. Oh, you made a picture. [reaches a piece of paper before Peridot snatches it]
    Peridot: Picture?! This isn't just a picture, Steven! It's a complex chart cataloging the compatible characteristics between campers. Somehow, the rejects at Camp Clod fail to recognize the superior pair that is Pierre and Percy.
    Steven: Well, that's 'cause Paulette likes Percy.
    Peridot: Paulette? Ha! Paulette has no place in the camp's hierarchy. Now, Pierre-- Pierre is a brute! Pierre laid waste to the three-legged races! Pierre and Percy present the strongest battle formation! They'd destroy the camp!
    Steven: You got all this from one episode?
    Peridot: It's subtext, Steven. Allow me to explain. [cut back to recorder held by Steven] Well, first of all, Percy and Pierre are both on the yellow team, and als-
    Steven: Ugh, I remember this part. [fast-forwards recorder as we see Peridot speeding through the entire session; Steven soon falls asleep with Garnet now sitting on the couch]
    Peridot: [sped through] Percy is using his pogo stick to save her. Not to mention Percy is adept at aquatic sports. He would have won the canoe race if he weren't so busy drooling over Paulette, and the other part where Percy goes to the bottom of the lake to get Paulette's friendship bracelet proves that he has the largest lung capacity in the entire camp! And Pierre is a force to be reckoned with on land, when he hung Bunk Seven's underwear in the tree, the whole- [fast-forwarding stops] And that's why Percy and Pierre are objectively the best for each other! [Steven slumps down the floor; Garnet gives a thumbs up; Peridot tears up her complex chart, angrily] GRAHHH!!!
    Peridot: [through recorder] Pearl really tries for some reason and I can appreciate that. Amethyst's company is entertaining as well, but the fused one… [sees Garnet for a long beat, she gives her a thumbs up] …eludes me.
    Garnet: Peridot, I'm proud of you.
    Peridot: Why?!
    Garnet: Because you've made an effort to understand me.
    Peridot: But I still don't understand you! Why are you fused all the time?!
    Garnet: I'm Percy and Pierre.
    Peridot: [realizing] Oh!
    [Steven fast-forwards the tape recorder]
    Peridot: [through recorder] Okay, go.
    Garnet: [through recorder] Log Date 7-14-2.
    Peridot: [through recorder] No, you say it "7-1-4-2." [groans] Log Date 7-1-4-2. I have attempted a fusion with the fusion Garnet. I had hoped to gain a better understanding of fusion. Instead, I gained a better understanding of Garnet.
    Garnet: [through recorder] Wait, keep it on a moment. Steven, you probably shouldn't have listened to Peridot's logs, but I know your curiosity comes from a place of caring. You should give the recorder back to her now. She's going to want to keep it.
    Peridot: [through recorder] Wait, what?