# Alice in Wonderland (1999 film)

    For other uses of "Alice in Wonderland", see Alice in Wonderland (disambiguation).
Alice in Wonderland is a 1999 TV film about Alice who follows a white rabbit down a hole into a whimsical world, where she meets the delightful Cheshire Cat, the clumsy White Knight, a rude caterpillar, and the hot-tempered Queen of Hearts and can grow ten feet tall or shrink to three inches. But will she ever be able to return home?
    Directed by Nick Willing. Written by Peter Barnes .

## Alice

* You have to tread with care when dealing with cats, they have influence and are seen in all the smart places.
* If you drink too much from a bottle marked "poison," it's almost certain to disagree with you sooner or later.
* [some talking daisies insult Alice] Alice: If you're not quiet, I'll make you into a chain! [the daisies shut up]
* Oh, what am I going to do, Dinah? Out of all the songs I have to sing Cherry Ripe.
* [Looks out the door onto the garden full of visitors] How can they expect me to sing in front of all these strangers?
* [While falling down the rabbit hole] I wonder what latitude or longitude I've got to? I've no idea what latitude and longitude are but they're grand words.
* Perhaps I've fell right through the earth and come out the other side. I shall have to ask somebody the name of the country. [talks to herself] 'Please ma'am is this New Zealand or Australia?'

## The Governess

* And relax, a strong cup of herbal tea. It's what I used to do when I was on the boards
* [to Alice] It's just stage fright. There's nothing to be afraid of, I shall be with you. It's all in the mind child.
* And remember Alice, what ever happens, flood or earthquake, the show must go on. [exits singing Cherry Ripe]

## The White Rabbit

* Oh dear, oh dear I'll be so late
* Oh my furry ears and whiskers, look how late it's getting

## Dialogue

    Alice: You can't make me sing. I won't. I won't.
    The Governess: [in an angry tone] Now we'll have none of that young lady.
    The March Hare: Have some wine.
    Alice: I don't see any wine.
    The March Hare: There isn't any, and you're too young.
    Alice: It wasn't very polite of you to offer it then.
    The March Hare: It wasn't very polite of you to sit down without an invitation.
    Alice: [thinking about the riddle] Why is a raven like a writing desk...you know, I-I'm pretty sure I can guess.
    The March Hare: You mean you think you know the answer?
    Alice: Yes.
    The March Hare: Well, then, you should say what you mean.
    Alice: Well, I do. At-at least, at least I mean what I say, that-that is the same thing.
    Mad Hatter: It's not the same thing at all. You might as well say "I eat what I see" is the same thing as "I see what I eat!"
    [A pie sprouts crab legs and crawls across the table]
    The March Hare: [eyeing the pie, picking up a fly swatter] You might as well say "I like what I get" is the same as "I get what I like!" [whacks the pie]
    The Dormouse: [talking in his sleep, then suddenly awake] Aah! You-you, or you might as well say "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe." [nods off]
    Mad Hatter: Well, it is the same thing with you. [chuckles]
    The Queen of Hearts: Do you play croquet?
    Alice: Who, me?
    The Queen of Hearts: YES you! I am not in the habit of talking to myself! [quietly] Even though it's the only way I can get an intelligent conversation around here. [bellowing] CAN YOU PLAY CROQUET?!
    Alice: Yes.
    The Queen of Hearts: COME ON, THEN!!
    The Cheshire Cat: How do you like the Queen?
    Alice: [whispers] I don't. She's so extremely... [notices the Queen is standing right behind her and listening] likely to win that it's hardly worth finishing the cat.
    The Queen of Hearts: [stiffly patting Alice's head] Good, good little girl. Charming.
    Alice: You don't seem to have much riding practice.
    White Knight: What makes you say that?
    Alice: You keep falling off your horse!
    White Knight: I've had plenty of practice at THAT, plenty of practice!

## Cast

* Tina Majorino as Alice
* Miranda Richardson as The Queen of Hearts
* Martin Short as The Mad Hatter
* Whoopi Goldberg as Cheshire Cat
* Simon Russell Beale as The King of Hearts
* Ken Dodd as Mr. Mouse

## External links

* Alice in Wonderland quotes at the Internet Movie Database