# The Lost Boys

The Lost Boys is a 1987 film about two brothers who, after moving to a new town in California, become convinced that the area is frequented by vampires.
    Directed by Joel Schumacher. Written by Jeffrey Boam.

## Sam Emerson

* What's wrong with this picture? There's no TV! Have you seen a TV, Mike? I haven't seen a TV. Do you know what it means when there's no TV? No MTV.
* You need sunglasses to talk on the phone? Are you freebasing, Michael? Inquiring minds want to know.
* Look at your reflection in the mirror. You're a creature of the night, Michael. Just like out of a comic book. You're a vampire, Michael! My own brother, a damn blood-sucking vampire! You wait 'til Mom finds out, buddy!
* Don't kill me, Mike. I'm basically a good kid, so just don't kill me.
* It's that girl from the boardwalk. Is she one of them?... [Star floats up] She's one of them! And don't tell me it doesn't make her a bad person, Mike!
* [to Star] Don't kill anybody until we get back to you!

## Alan Frog

* Let's start with the little one. First come, first staked.
* Holy smoke, it's the attack of Eddie Munster!
* We don't ride with vampires. [Realizes that they're just outside of the Vampires' cave] We do now.
* Holy smoke, Vampire Hotel.

## Edgar Frog

* I think I should warn you all, when a vampire buys it, it's never a pretty sight. No two blood suckers go out the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode. But all will try and take you with them.
* [to Alan] How much you think we should charge out of this?

## David Williams

* [entering their cave] Not bad, huh? This was the hottest resort in Santa Carla about 85 years ago. It's too bad that they built it on the San Andreas Fault. In 1906, when the Big One hit San Francisco, the ground opened up and this place took a header right into the crack. So now, it's ours.
* That's what I love about this place. You ask, and then you get.
* Initiation's over, Michael. Time to join the club!
* Now you know what we are. And now you know what you are. You'll never grow old, Michael. And you'll never die. But you must feed.

## Grandpa

* Lucy, you're the only woman I ever knew who didn't improve her situation by getting divorced.
* Rules! We've got some rules around here. Second shelf is mine. That's where I keep my cocktail peanuts, my bottles of Diet Pepsi and my double-thick animal crackers. Nobody touches the second shelf but me. Now, there's another rule around here, and I want you to pay very close attention to it. Don't touch anything. Everything is exactly where I want it.
* [as Michael comes home in the morning] Looks like I wasn't the only one who got lucky last night.

## Others

* Michael Emerson: [upon seeing Grandpa's workroom, filled with deer heads and other animals] Talk about the Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
* Lucy Emerson: [to Sam] I can never sleep with the closet door open, either. Not even a crack. Sam, this is a terrible thing to admit, but I think that one of the reasons I divorced your father was because he never believed in the closet monster.

## Dialogue

    Michael: [about Grandpa] Looks like he's dead!
    Lucy: No, he's just a deep sleeper.
    Sam: If he's dead, can we go back to Phoenix?
    Grandpa: Playin' dead. And from what I heard, doin' a damn good job of it, too.
    Michael: Grandpa, is it true that Santa Carla's the murder capital of the world?
    Grandpa: There are some bad elements around here.
    Sam: Wait a second, let me get this straight. You're telling me we've moved to the murder capital of the world? Are you serious, Grandpa?
    Grandpa: Well, let me put it this way. If all the corpses buried around here were to stand up all at once we'd have one hell of a population problem.
    Grandpa: Now, on Wednesdays when the mailman brings the TV Guide sometimes the address label is curled up just a little. You'll be tempted to tear it off. Don't. You'll only wind up rippin' the cover and I don't like that. And stay outta here.
    Sam: Wait, you have a TV?
    Grandpa: No. I just like to read the TV Guide. Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV.
    Sam: Got a problem, guys?
    Edgar: Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.
    Sam: Pretty cool, huh?
    Alan: For a fashion victim.
    Edgar: Listen, buddy, if you're looking for the diet frozen yogurt bar, it went out of business last Summer.
    Sam: Actually I'm looking for a copy of Batman issue #14.
    Edgar: That's a very serious book, man.
    Alan: Only five in existence.
    Sam: Four, actually. I'm always looking out for the other three. [then he looks at the comic books] Look, you can't put the Superman #77s with the 200s; they haven't even discovered Red Kryptonite yet, and uh... you can't put the #98s with the 300s; Lori Lemaris hasn't even been introduced.
    Edgar: Where the hell are you from? Krypton?
    Sam: Phoenix, actually. But lucky me, we moved... here.
    Edgar: Take this. [He gives Sam a comic book entitled "Vampires Everywhere"]
    Sam: I don't like horror comics.
    Edgar: You'll like this one, Mr. Phoenix; it could save your life.
    Alan: Notice anything unusual about Santa Carla yet?
    Sam: No, it's actually a pretty cool place... if you're a Martian.
    Edgar: Or a vampire.
    Sam: You guys sniffing on newsprint of something?
    Edgar: You think you really know what's happening here, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something. You don't know a lot, buddy.
    Alan: Yeah, you think we just work in a comic bookstore for our folks, huh?
    Sam: Actually, I thought it was a bakery.
    Edgar: This is just our cover. We are dedicated to a higher purpose. We're fighters in a never-ending battle for Truth, Justice, and the American Way.
    Sam: Right.
    Edgar: Hey man, read this. [He gives Sam a comic book entitled "Destroy All Vampires"]
    Sam: I told you, I don't like horror comics.
    Alan: Think of it more as a survival manual. There's our number on the back and pray you never need to call us.
    Sam: I'll pray I never need to call you. Sure.
    Marko: Feeding time. Come and get it boys.
    David: Chinese, good choice. Over here, bud. Guests first.
    Michael: No.
    David: What, you don't like rice? Tell me Michael, how could a billion Chinese people be wrong? Come on!
    [Michael eats some rice]
    David: How are those maggots?
    Michael: Huh?
    David: Maggots, Michael. You're eating maggots. How do they taste?
    [Michael looks down and sees maggots in the container. He cries out and drops it]
    Star: Leave him alone.
    David: Sorry about that. No hard feelings, huh?
    Michael: No.
    David: Why don't you try some noodles?
    [He looks in the container]
    Michael: They're worms.
    David: [eats some noodles] What worms? They're only noodles, Michael.
    Star: That's enough.
    Marko: Ah, chill out, girl.
    David: Drink some of this, Michael. Be one of us.
    Star: Don't! You don't have to, Michael. It's blood.
    Michael: Yeah, sure. [takes a deep drink]
    David: Bravo! You're all right, Michael.
    Everybody: Michael! Michael! Michael!
    David: You're one of us, Michael.
    David: Michael wants to know what's going on. Marko, what's going on?
    Marko: I don't know. What's going on, Paul?
    Paul: Wait a minute. Who wants to know?
    Dwayne: Michael wants to know.
    David: I think we should let Michael know what's going on.
    Grandpa: Anything in here that might pass for after-shave?
    Sam: How about some Windex, Grandpa?
    Grandpa: Yeah, let me try some of that. [slaps some on] Not bad!
    Michael: You have a big date tonight, Grandpa?
    Grandpa: I'm going to drop my handiwork by the widow Johnson.
    Michael: What'd ya stuff for her? Mr. Johnson?
    Edgar: You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?
    Sam: Yeah, all day.
    Alan: Does the sunlight freak him out?
    Sam: Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.
    Edgar: Bad breath, long fingernails?
    Sam: Yeah, his fingernails are a little bit longer, um, he always had bad breath though.
    Alan: He's a vampire all right.
    Edgar: All right, here's what you do, get your self a good sharp stake and drive it right through his heart.
    Sam: I can't do that, he's my brother.
    Alan: Okay, we'll come over and do it for you.
    Sam: No!
    Edgar: You'd better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy, or it's your funeral.
    [Michael is floating outside Sam's window.]
    Michael: Open up!
    Sam: Stay back! Stay back!
    Michael: Sammy, help me! Open up! Help me! Sammy, open the window!
    Sam: You're a vampire! I knew it!
    Michael: I'm not!
    Sam: So what are you, the flying nun?
    Michael: I'm your brother, Sammy! HELP ME!!!
    Edgar: We've been aware of some very serious vampire activity in town for a long time.
    Alan: Santa Carla's become a haven for the undead.
    Edgar: As a matter of fact, we're almost certain that ghouls and werewolves occupy high positions at City Hall.
    Alan: Kill your brother, you'll feel better.
    Sam: Look, guys, my brother's not a bloodsucker. Look, it says here that if you kill the head vampire, all half-vampires will return to normal. Guys, if my brother's a vampire, believe me, he's only half.
    Edgar: Does he know who the head vampire is?
    Sam: No, I don't think so.
    Edgar: Then you'll have to kill him. And if you don't, then we will.
    Sam: It all started when my mom went to work at Max's video store. Max never comes in till after it's dark. The dog who chased my mom this morning was his. And listen to this: "Vampires require a daytime protector, a guardian, to watch over them as they sleep. Fierce dogs, the Hounds of Hell, are often employed for this purpose."
    Edgar: No kidding.
    Sam: Yeah? Well, what happens if my mom is dating the head vampire? You guys could nail him and save Santa Carla. "Truth, Justice, the American way" triumphs. Thanks to you two.
    Edgar: We'll check out Max.
    Michael: I don't want you going down there, Sam.
    Sam: Well, I'm going, whether you want me to or not.
    Michael: Look, this isn't a comic book, Sam; these guys are brutal killers.
    Sam: Oh, yeah? Well, guess what? So are the Frog Brothers! Look, who would you rather go down there with you, them or me? It's up to you.
    Michael: If something happens down there, I'm not gonna have the strength to protect you.
    Sam: Well, this time, I'll protect you, buddy. Even though you're a vampire, you're still my brother.
    Edgar: Listen! Just so you know, if you try to stop us, or vamp out in any way, then I'll stake you without even thinking twice about it, and that is something you do not want!
    Sam: Chill out, Edgar.
    Edgar: Yeah, come on!
    Michael: Where did you say you met these guys?
    Edgar: We're on the right trail. Flies and the undead go together, like bullets and guns. Come on!
    Sam: What's that smell?
    Edgar: Vampires, my friend. Vampires.
    [Sam shoots an arrow at Dwayne, and misses.]
    Dwayne: You missed, sucker.
    Sam: Only once, pal.
    [Sam shoots again, pinning Dwayne against the stereo making parts of him explode while being electrocuted]
    Sam: Death by stereo!
    Michael: You afraid to face me, David? HUH?!
    David: I tried to make you immortal.
    Michael: You tried to make me a killer! [David strikes Michael who turns around with his vampire face.]
    David: You are a killer! My turn. Stop fighting me, Michael. I don't want to kill you. Join us.
    Michael: Never! I would rather die!
    David: It's too late for that! My blood is in your veins.
    Michael: Oh, yeah? Well, guess what? So is mine!!
    Lucy: And I don't want to hear another word from you until I talk to Michael!
    Max: I'm sorry, Lucy. This is all my fault. David and my boys misbehaved. Like I told you, the boys need a mother.
    Lucy: Max, what are you talking about?
    Sam: I knew it! You're the head vampire!!
    Lucy: Sam, now don't you start this again!
    Star: You're the secret that David was protecting.
    Max: Hmm.
    Lucy: Who the hell is this?!
    Alan: Well, you've passed the test! You've won!!
    Max: Let this be a lesson to you, you silly boy: Never ever invite a vampire into your house. And why? Because it renders you powerless.
    Sam: [turns to Edgar and whispers] Did you know that?
    Edgar: Of course. Everyone knows that. Why else would we be here?
    Lucy: Has everyone gone crazy here or something? What the hell is the matter with all of you?!
    Max: It was you I was after all along, Lucy.
    Lucy: What?!
    Max: I knew that if I could get Sam and Michael into the family, there was no way you could say "No".
    Lucy: Where's Michael?!
    Max: It was all going to be so perfect, Lucy. Just like one big happy family. Your boys. And my boys.
    Edgar: Great! The bloodsucking Brady Bunch!!
    Max: [turns around and shows his vampire face to everyone] But I still want you, Lucy. [bears his fangs] I haven't changed my mind about that.
    Michael: I didn't invite you this time, Max.
    Lucy: Michael! [Max looks at a now vampire Michael and gives a contemptible and sinister demonic laugh]
    Lucy: Dad! Dad, are you all right?
    Grandpa: One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach. All the damn vampires.

## Taglines

* Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire.
* Being wild is in their blood.
* [from TV spot] In California you'll find fun, romance... and vampires.

## Cast

* Jason Patric - Michael Emerson
* Corey Haim - Sam Emerson
* Dianne Wiest - Lucy Emerson
* Barnard Hughes - Grandpa
* Edward Herrmann - Max
* Kiefer Sutherland - David
* Billy Wirth - Dwayne
* Brooke McCarter - Paul
* Alex Winter - Marko
* Jami Gertz - Star
* Corey Feldman - Edgar Frog
* Jamison Newlander - Alan Frog
* Chance Michael Corbitt - Laddie Thompson

## External links

* The Lost Boys quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* The Lost Boys at Rotten Tomatoes
* Invite Me: Max Online All Max. All The Time.
The Lost Boys franchise :
| Films | The Lost Boys (1987) · Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008) · Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010) |
| Comics | Lost Boys: Reign of Frogs · The Lost Boys |
| Related | Last words in The Lost Boys films |