# Evolution (film)

Evolution is a 2001 film about a fire fighting cadet, two college professors, and a geeky-but-sexy government scientist who are working against an alien organism that has been rapidly evolving ever since its arrival on Earth inside a meteor.
    Directed by Ivan Reitman. Written by David Diamond, David Weissman and Don Jakoby.

## Ira Kane

* Allow me to share something with the entire class. Last night as I was grading papers, I came across two gems both entitled "Cells are Bad" and both with just one paragraph which I unfortunately committed to memory: "Cells are bad. My uncle lives in a cell. It's ten foot by twelve and he has to read the same old, boring magazine everyday. The end". And although my standards are nowhere near where they used to be, I still could not bring myself to put an "A" on top of those beauties. I hope you understand, guys.
* Let's shampoo us some aliens!!

## Harry Block

* [during the second expedition to the meteorite cavern, to Ira about Dr. Reed] All she needs is a good humping. [mocks Reed while "demonstrating" sex] Oh Ira! I-i-i-i-ra﻿...OOOH IRA!

## Dialogue

    Harry Block: Keep your chin up. You know she wanted to give you some, didn't you?
    Ira Kane: Were you even in that courtroom?
    Block: Getting barbecued like baby back ribs? It's all foreplay, baby.
    Kane: [upon discovering that their lab's been ransacked] Oh, we've been hit!
    Block: Forget the foreplay. We just got screwed!
    [Ira and Harry see a unique organism.]
    Ira Kane: Hey, cool. Snag one.
    Harry Block: Snag one?
    Kane: Yeah, snag one and put it in the bucket.
    Block: I've seen this movie, the black dude dies first. You snag it.
    [An alien fly is inside Harry Block and the surgeons debate on how to remove it]
    Dr. Allison Reed: What do we do?
    Dr. Paulson: We might have to amputate.
    Nurse Tate: Saw.
    Harry Block: Whoa, Doc, don't take my leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg.
    Ira Kane: Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete.
    Nurse Tate: Wait, doctor, look.
    Paulson: Ooh. [looks in bug inside, crawling] It's headed for his testicles.
    Block: Take it, take it! Take the leg!!
    Reed: Wait, wait, wait!
    Block: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
    Reed: It's going the other way.
    Paulson: Alright, give me some forceps. I might be able to catch it in his colon.
    Reed: How are you going in?
    Paulson: Rectally.
    Harry: [squealing] NOOOO!
    Tate: I'll get the lubricant.
    Paulson: There's no time for lubricant.
    Harry: THERE'S ALWAYS TIME FOR LUBRICANT!!
    [Harry, Wayne, and Irah hunt for an alien dragon-like creature in a shopping mall. Wayne has an idea to tries to get its attention by saying "caw-caw" and "tookie tookie" repeatedly on a live mic]
    Harry Block: Wayne! I think we've established that "Ca-caw, ca-caw" and "Tookie, tookie" don't work.
    Wayne Grey: Right. Sorry. [starts singing into the mike] You are so beautiful to me.
    Ira Kane: Step back, Harry, I'm gonna shoot him.
    Block: Uh-uh, stand down. I'm taking this one out myself.
    Grey: You are so beautiful to me.
    Block: [slightly mutters] Wayne, would you please stop? You're embarrassing me.
    Ira Kane: Ira Kane, head of the science department, Glen Canyon Community College.
    Harry Block: Harry Block, United States Geological Survey.
    Wayne Grey: Wayne Grey. Did some chemistry in high school.
    Dr. Allison Reed: There's something I've been wanting to tell you, but I don't know exactly how.
    Ira Kane: Well, we're all adults here, and we're all about to die a very horrible death anyway, so?
    Reed: I would've rocked your world.
    Kane: You already have.

## Taglines

* Have a nice end of the world.
* Coming to wipe that silly smile off your planet.

## Cast

* David Duchovny - Dr. Ira Kane
* Julianne Moore - Dr. Allison Reed, CDC
* Orlando Jones - Prof. Harry Phineas Block
* Seann William Scott - Wayne Grey
* Ted Levine - General Russell Woodman
* Dan Aykroyd - Governor Lewis

## External links

* Evolution quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* Evolution at Rotten Tomatoes