# Beverly Hills, 90210

Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990-2000) was a television drama series about the lives of a group of teenagers living in a wealthy neighborhood in Beverly Hills California. The show followed the group from high school to college as they dealt with a wide array of issues.

## Season 1
### Class of Beverly Hills [1.01]

    Brandon: First day of school. Strange city, new house, no friends...I'm psyched!
    Steve: You got a nose job!
    Kelly: Yeah, I did.
    Steve: It looks...looks good.
    Kelly: Big improvement, huh?
    Steve: Well yeah, they took about a foot off.
    Kelly: Now I know why I broke up with you.
    Secretary: Mr. Clayton, would you please explain to this young man our new restrictions on leather this year?
    Scott: I can't find my locker. Number 1533. This place is huge, like five times as big as junior high!
    David: Yeah I know, the steps are even bigger. But the babes...are outrageous.
    Steve: She is the biggest bitch at West Beverly High. I should know, I went out with her for a year.
    Steve: Oh, sure, just put the gas in the ignition and step on the key!
    Scott: That is the studliest thing I have ever seen.

### The Green Room [1.02]

    Brenda: Just remember me when uh...everybody wants to get into your green room.

### The First Time [1.04]

    Brandon: I mean, she knew everything about me.
    Brenda: Even how you used to eat Mom's makeup?

### Higher Education [1.06]

    Brandon: Nice house, man.
    Steve: This is nothing. You should have seen where I used to live before my parents got divorced.
    Brandon: When was that?
    Steve: Which time?
    Brandon: They've divorced each other twice?
    Steve: Oh, amongst other things. There have been other marriages mixed in, other kids, other houses, you know. What, your parents are still together?
    Brandon: Yeah.
    Steve: Well look, it's not your fault. You've got to stop blaming yourself.
    Donna: Oh, how embarrassing. I am wearing both contacts on the same eye!
    Brenda: So, who else is in his class anyway?
    Brandon: I don't know, uh, Andrea, Donna, Steve Sanders...
    Brenda: Dylan McKay?
    Brandon: No, he's too smart to take this class.
    Brenda: Or too busy chasing blondes?
    Brandon: What are you talking about?
    Brenda: I just don't understand why every guy's dream girl has to have hair like Daryl Hannah and a body like Kim Basinger.
    Brandon: Bren, I'm trying to study here.
    Brenda: Well excuse me for living.
    Dylan: Hi.
    Brenda: Hi.
    Dylan: I thought that was you, but didn't your hair used to be a little different?
    Brenda: Yes, no, well maybe just a little bit. I hate this color, if that's what you can call it.
    Dylan: It's not that bad.
    Brenda: If one more person says that...
    Dylan: It's not that bad!
    Brenda: Don't all you guys out here have a thing for blondes? I mean, that's what you told Kelly.
    Dylan: Blondes, brunettes, redheads... girls in tanktops... but, if you really hate that color, I, uh -- I have a friend who does hair and he owes me a favor.
    Brenda: Well, I don't really hate the color. But maybe we should still go see him. For a second opinion, or something, don't you think?
    Dylan: No problem.
    Brenda: I like your butt...I mean your bike.
    Dylan: Oh, well thank you. Hop on...my bike, that is.
    Brenda: Dylan says it looks incandescent.
    Brandon: My friend Dylan?
    Brenda: My friend Dylan.

### Perfect Mom [1.07]

    David: I think it's the blonde hair that gets me the most. I have this incredible urge to just sniff it!
    Scott: You better not be recording any of this...
    Jackie: I can't be everything to everybody!!
    Kelly: You don't have to be. But when you are drinking, mom, you are nothing. To nobody.
    Jackie: Someday I hope...you can be as proud to have me as a mother, as I am to have you as a daughter.

### The 17-Year Itch [1.08]

    David: Yo West Beverly, my name is Dave. And I'ma give you all the songs that you crave. And all the babes are gonna be my slave. And all from a guy that don't even shave. Word.
    Brenda: I remember when I was a little girl, and dad went away to this accounting convention. I thought he was gone forever. I cried and cried. And then I wished with my magic star wand, and then he came back. My eyes were so puffy I could barely see him.
    Brandon: I wish I had a bag of tricks. But I don't.
    David: Yo, West Beverly this is DJ Dave
    Now I'm not Vanilla Ice but chill out and be brave
    Cause I'll rock the microphone for you over the air
    'Til you say, "Who's that freshman? Check him out, he's aware."

### Isn't It Romantic? [1.10]

    Brenda: [talking to Brandon] Well, whatever gets you through the night, right? I mean, isn't that what you always say?
    Dylan: That's what I always say.
    Brenda: Hi, I didn't see you.
    Dylan: I saw you...
    Scott: W-why does this class have to be co-ed?
    David: It's much better this way.
    Scott: Why?
    David: Because when they start talking about sex things with guys around, it gets them in the mood
    Teacher: Consent forms, people. I need them. You need them. They're required.
    Scott: My mom's never gonna sign that form
    David: Why not?
    Scott: She -- She thinks I'll be getting the wrong kind of message at school.
    David: Well what kind of message are you getting at home? Your mom has six kids.
    Cindy: So Shelley and Paul went to this spa. They spent two days soaking in herbal mud, and ended up completely potatoed.

### B.Y.O.B. [1.11]

    Kelly: [talking about Dylan] Brenda, bring him. There's always room for one more cute guy.
    David: Did you hear her say 'cute guy'?
    Scott: [laughing] She wasn't talking about you!
    David: You know, sometimes your negativity is overwhelming.
    Steve: Purple pleasure, a blend of 7 essential ingredients, plus vitamins A, B, C, and T .
    Brandon: T?
    Steve, Brandon, and Other Guy: Tequila!

### One Man and a Baby [1.12]

    Kelly: You didn't say this was a date call.
    Brandon: It's not. I met her at lunch, she dropped her Latin paper.
    Kelly: Who would wanna date a girl who takes Latin?
    Brandon: I don't even know what to say.
    Kelly: Try "E pluribus unum."
    Brandon: Where'd you learn that?
    Kelly: It's on money.
    Melissa: Just for a second I would like to be a teenage girl...and not a damn baby machine.
    Jim: I love it when you talk crossword.

### Slumber Party [1.13]

    Amanda: Dammit.
    Kelly: What?
    Amanda: It's after midnight!
    Brenda: So what? Do frat boys turn into pumpkins?
    Amanda: No, they turn into drunken slobs.
    Amanda: BNJ
    Brenda: What's that?
    Amanda: Before nose job.
    Kelly: And I'm sorry I called you pretentious.
    Andrea: And I'm sorry I called you gossipy.
    Kelly: It's ok. Sometimes I am.
    [Group hug between Brenda, Kelly, Andrea]
    Donna: [When left out of group hug] Well...well I'm sorry for not having more problems! But I plan to.

### East Side Story [1.14]

    Brenda: Uh oh.
    Brandon: What's wrong?
    Brenda: You've got that look this morning.
    Brandon: What look?
    Brenda: That "Come on baby, light my fire" kind of a look.
    Steve: Yo, Sam. Sam!
    Scott: Me?
    Steve: Come here.
    Scott: I'm Scott.
    Steve: Whatever. What's going on with him and MC Hammer?
    Scott: David wants him to play at the prom.
    Steve: MC Hammer's not gonna play at any school dance.
    Scott: You know that, and I know that, and MC Hammer knows that. But unfortunately, somebody forgot to tell David.

### A Fling in Palm Springs [1.15]

    Brenda: ...it's like, the geese flying south. Or north, or wherever they go.
    Brandon: Come on, Dad, you know how hard I work. And last night Nat tells me that I can't go to Palm Springs this weekend with all of my friends because his sister's sick, and now I have to work all weekend, but you don't hear me complaining, do ya?
    Jim: Yes.
    Tuesday: My name's Tuesday.
    David: Tuesday? My favorite day of the week.
    Brenda: It's weird, I mean, I want to be with Dylan and everything but part of me just wants to get it over with, like I'm the last person who hasn't done it yet.
    Kelly: Brenda, you are.
    Donna: Oh, you are not. Look, Brenda, you're really gonna like it. Uh, probably. Maybe?
    Kelly: Listen, who would you rather be with: Dylan McKay or David Silver?
    Donna: Look, Brenda, Dylan’s a wonderful guy and you’re gonna have a great time.
    Kelly: And you brought protection, right? So there is nothing to be worried about.
    Brenda: Dylan, stop talking and take off your clothes.

### Fame Is Where You Find It [1.16]

    Jim: So, which one is "Keep it Together?"
    Cindy: Oh, you know, it's the one about that uh, cute little orphan girl, Flipper.
    Brenda: Mom, it's Skipper. And she's not an orphan anymore.
    [Girls in the hall cluster together whispering about Brandon]
    Steve: Forget the agent, what you need is a bodyguard.
    Brandon: Is this weird, or what? They won't stampede, will they?
    Dylan: No, only if they smell fear.
    [Brenda walks into the Peach Pit dressed up as singing waitress Laverne]
    Brenda: Sir! Welcome! I'm Laverne, charmed I'm sure.
    Nat: I don't get it. What is it, Halloween?
    Brenda: Hey don't you worry, pops. You'll get no trick-or-treats with this little lady. I'm strictly a class act. A one hundred percent, U.S. certified, hostess with the mostest!
    [Sal the Customer laughs]
    Brenda: See, here's a gentleman who appreciates fine beauty.
    Nat: He's a customer who needs an order taken.
    Brenda: Why, certainly. Would you like to hear today's specials?
    Nat: We don't have any specials!
    Brenda: The special pasta today is spaghetti. It has meatballs on it, with a red sauce, um, I think it's tomato....And for dessert we have pie. We have peach pie, cherry pie, apple pie, pecan pie, lemon pie, cream pie...honey pie. But if you want pizza pie, you gotta go across the street. Ask for Grito, he'll take care of ya. So what will it be?
    Sal the Customer: Anything you want, sweetheart!
    Brenda: You look like...meatloaf and mashed potatoes, am I wrong?
    Sal the Customer: Bring it on!
    Brenda: Only if you promise to save room for dessert! Ok, we got a taker for squished taters and a beefy roll.
    Nat: We what?
    Brenda: Mashed potatoes and meatloaf. Get with the lingo, pops.
    Nat: Brenda, you're too much.
    Brenda: It's Laverne...thank you!

### Stand (Up) and Deliver [1.17]

    Brenda: Mom, have you ever felt like a phone call that's been disconnected?
    Cindy: Honey, goes with the territory of being a teenager.
    Brenda: Along with hormone hell. Bad driving. Classes that don't relate to life.
    Sky: Anyway, like I said, my name is Sky, it really is, my parents named me that. No kidding. And it gets worse. My middle name is Blueyonder. You see, my dad was in the Air Force. My mother was a pothead. I guess that makes me an airhead, huh?
    Brenda: Mom, these performance-oriented coffeehouses are really happening, I mean I really felt a part of it.
    Cindy: Right, is this button crooked?
    Jim: No, it's fine
    Brenda: And Dad I'm pregnant.
    [Jim and Cindy look up at Brenda in shock.]
    Brenda: Just testing.
    Kelly: [waves to David] David!
    David: My God, She's waving at me!
    Scott: She must need something.
    David: She needs me. She just doesn't know it yet.
    Kelly: David, hi, um, listen. I really need you.
    Kelly: Brenda, how can you wear that costume?
    Brenda: Well Kelly, you put one arm through one sleeve, and one through the other.

### It's Only a Test [1.18]

    Brenda: [to her mother] You told him, didn't you?
    Jim: Brenda, it's nothing to be embarrassed about.
    Brenda: Dad, I know that. I just didn't want you getting upset over nothing.
    Jim: I'm not upset!
    Brenda: Well, why not?
    Jim: Because it...could be a million things!
    Brenda: Like what?
    Jim: I don't know. Maybe it's...well, an ingrown hair.
    Brenda: An ingrown hair? On my left breast? I sincerely hope not. You know, Mom, this is why I didn't want you to tell him, this is the kind of explanation Brandon would come up with.
    Brandon: What is?
    Brenda, Jim, Cindy: Nothing!
    Brandon: Uh huh...
    Brenda: Does a needle biopsy have anything to do with a needle?
    Steve: You know what?
    Andrea: Hmm?
    Steve: You're pretty cute without your glasses on.
    Andrea: [laughs] God! Is that supposed to be some kind of compliment?
    Steve: No. This is.
    [Steve kisses Andrea.]
    Brandon: Hey. You're gonna be just fine.
    Brenda: How do you know that, Brandon?
    Brandon: Cause I'm older. And wiser.
    Brenda: And just how much wisdom did you accumulate in those momentous four minutes?
    Brandon: A small lifetime.
    Brenda: Very small.
    Brenda: Doesn't anyone know any more jokes? Dylan?
    Dylan: None that I could tell here.
    [The doorbell rings.]
    Cindy: [Answers the phone] Hello?
    Jim: Honey, it's the doorbell.

### April Is the Cruelest Month [1.19]

    Roger Azarian: Survival of the fittest, Walsh. It's kill or be killed.
    Brandon: Talking about the jungle or Beverly Hills?
    Roger: Same difference.
    Roger: Want a beer?
    Brandon: No, thanks.
    [Roger is holding a gun.]
    Brandon: What are you doing with that thing?
    Roger: Target practice.

### Spring Training [1.20]

    Steve: Crawford, get your finger out of your nose!
    Kid: [laughs] He eats 'em too.
    Steve: Take a lap.
    Brandon: Steve! Steve, what's the problem? He wasn't doing anything.
    Steve: Yeah he was, he was grossing me out. Last thing we need is a booger-picker playing second base.
    Nat: You know, the improvement from one week to the next is remarkable.
    Brandon: Oh, yeah. The kids are showing a lot of promise.
    Dylan: But, we still need a pitcher that can put the ball over the plate.
    Nat: Yeah, but win or lose, the most important thing is how good the kids feel about themselves.
    Brandon: Absolutely.
    Nat: Totally.
    Dylan: Yeah, I mean, in the long run, that's all that counts.
    Brandon: Absolutely.
    Nat: Totally.

### Spring Dance [1.21]

    Andrea: Are you, uh, going to the school dance?
    Brandon: No, are you?
    Andrea: Uh, no.
    Brandon: Personally, I hate to dance.
    Andrea: You do?
    Brandon: Yeah. I always step on people's toes, I have no sense of rhythm, it's awful.
    Andrea: So, you probably wouldn't want to go even if someone asked you?
    Brandon: I don't know. Would you?
    Andrea: Well, I have fundamental ideological problems with teenage social rituals that basically do nothing but exacerbate fears of total insecurity and inferiority over one's appearance while frenetically exploiting, and I must hasten to add, distorting, the feminine ideal. I mean, in an act which reaches it's apogee with the election of the spring queen.
    Brandon: Was that a yes or a no?
    Andrea: What was the question?
    Kelly: Brandon, don't you think we'd make a great couple?
    Brandon: I guess I don't. It's like...I know you too well or something.
    Kelly: Well what if we were complete strangers?
    Brandon: I'd probably be in love with you.
    Kelly: Can't you fake amnesia or something?
    Brandon: I don't know it just, it...feels like...you're another sister.
    Kelly: That is probably the ugliest thing any guy has ever said to me.
    Andrea: Look, I feel like a fool for coming but...I don't care, all I know is, I don't want to turn into some deranged axe murderer...or...or worse yet...wake up one morning, ten years from now, and suddenly realize that I totally missed out on high school.

### Home Again [1.22]

    [Steve comes in wearing an eye patch.]
    Kelly: Look, it's Captain Hook!
    Steve: Isn't that what we used to call you before you got your nose job?
    Dylan: There's so much that we haven't done.
    Brenda: I thought we've done everything.
    Dylan: [laughs] I didn't mean that. I mean like...well, I haven't even taken you to my favorite surf shop, or to check out my favorite band.
    Brenda: Going to a surf shop together is pretty serious stuff. You sure you want to take that major step?
    Dylan: I think so.
    Dylan: I don't do cameras.
    Dylan: Brenda, who saved me from going back to drinking. She saved me from myself. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you guys. At the risk of sounding mushy... you Walsh people are the only family I got.

## Season 2
### Beach Blanket Brandon [2.1]

    David: I can't believe that we're finally free! An entire summer of nothing but beaches and babes.
    Scott: For you, maybe. I'll be spending the summer at my grandparents' in Oklahoma.
    David: You'll have fun.
    Scott: Name one thing fun about Oklahoma.
    David: I bet you not one girl there has ever met a California stud before.
    Kelly: Besides, what cute guy is gonna take an acting class?
    Brenda: Kelly, can't you ever stop thinking about guys for one second? I mean, there is more to life!
    Kelly: Sounds like it's that time of the month.
    Brenda: Well, it is. And it isn't, if you know what I mean.
    Kelly: What are you talking about?
    Brenda: I'm five days late.
    Brenda: What color is it supposed to be again?
    Kelly: Uh, blue for positive, red for negative.
    Brenda: It's green.
    Kelly: That's impossible.
    Donna: Well, maybe that means twins or something.
    Brenda: Donna, that's not funny.
    Kelly: Let me see.
    Donna: I wanna see.
    Kelly: Mmm, it's kind of a pinkish green.
    Brenda: Donna, what color does it look like to you?
    Donna: Honestly? St. Patrick's Day.
    Brenda: I can't believe this. I wait to have sex with the guy that I love, I act responsibly, I take every precaution, and I'm green.
    Brenda: For a moment there, I thought that maybe I was pregnant. My period was a few days late, so I got worried.
    Jim: Well, did you do something that would...give you reason to believe that if you... were a few days late that...that would indicate that you were pregnant?
    Brenda: You mean like sex?
    Jim: Yes, something like that.
    Brenda: Yes, of course.

### The Party Fish [2.2]

    Brenda: You're going to the beach club tonight?
    Cindy: One of your father's clients has invited us to join.
    Brenda: The Beverly Hills beach club?
    Cindy: Mmhmm, they're having a big party to honor prospective members.
    Brenda: [to Grandma on phone] Hold on. [to Cindy] The Beverly Hills beach club where Brandon works?
    Cindy: Mmhmm, isn't that a hoot?!
    Brenda: [to phone] Granny hold on. [to Cindy] Does Brandon know that you're going there tonight?
    Cindy: Yeah. Why don't you join us?
    Brenda: Oh, no, no, I can't, um...I'm talking to Grandma.
    Sandy: You know, the way my head is pounding, I don't think anything could make me happy tonight.
    Brandon: Not even the sight of 10,000 wild and crazy grunion having an orgy on the beach?
    Steve: This is an incredible piece of machinery.
    Brandon: Oh no, this isn't about my mommy and daddy, it's about you and your sugar daddy!

### Summer Storm [2.3]

    Brenda: You scared me.
    Dylan: It was awesome.
    Brenda: Yeah, really awesome. Look at you. You're lucky to be alive.
    Dylan: I'm fine. You look like an angel.
    Cindy: Oh, Brenda, would you take this up to Dylan for me, please?
    Brenda: Sorry, Mom, it was your idea, I'm not gonna play Nancy Nurse.
    Cindy: Brenda!
    Brenda: Well, what do you want, Mom? I mean, first you and Dad tell me not to sleep with him and then you tuck him in the next bedroom?
    Brandon: Guess a couple busted ribs are God's way of telling you you're grounded, huh?
    Dylan: Yeah, that's funny. I'd laugh, except it hurts.
    Brenda: To be a bitch, or not to be a bitch. That is the question.
    Brandon: I wouldn't say you've been a bitch. Then again...you haven't said a word to him and he has been here all day.
    Brenda: Nobody's here?
    Dylan: [turning off television] Just me and Oprah.

### Anaconda [2.4]

    Brenda: I got more sun than I expected
    Cindy: Honey, you are burnt to a crisp!
    Brenda: I know. I fell asleep. I mean, it's not fair, just because I take a nap, now I can't go to this party tonight with Donna. She's getting dressed up right now and I'm here fried!
    Danny Waterman: Big Dave, are you gonna light that thing or what?
    David: Are you kidding, it could stunt my growth!
    Steve: Too late.
    [During police interrogation]
    Donna: I uh...I had a cigar. I threw up.

### Play It Again, David [2.5]

    Donna: What's the big deal? I mean, just because David's a geek doesn't mean his dad is.
    Kelly: Donna, the avocado doesn't fall far from the tree.
    Donna: No, you know, David's not that bad. I kinda got to know him when we did our scene.
    Kelly: I don't know, he's always looking at me like I'm naked or something. And now he's fully bragging about this date like it's the two of us going out.
    Jackie: Doesn't that sound fun?
    Kelly: No, that sounds totally excruciating.
    Mel Silver: You're gonna love this place, it's one of my favorite resaurants.
    Jackie Taylor: Oh, It's gorgeous.
    Kelly: Mom, isn't this the place that gave, uh, Lori food poisoning?
    Jackie: I don't think so.
    David: So, Kel, you ever dream this would happen?
    Kelly: Not in my wildest, Freddy Krueger nightmares.
    Mel: Well, Kelly I hope we're not dragging you away from your friends tonight, but Jackie and I thought that having dinner together would be fun.
    Kelly: Why?
    Jackie: So that I could get to know David and so that you could get to know Mel.
    Kelly: Let me tell you something about Kelly, Mel. To know her is not to love her.
    Jackie: Kelly!
    Mel: Well, that's not what I hear. Or rather, see, on video.
    David: Dad, you're embarrassing me.
    Kelly: I hardly think that that's possible.
    Jackie: David, your father tells me that you're West Beverly's video historian.
    David: Yeah. Something like that.
    Kelly: I can hardly turn around anymore without that obnoxious video lens being stuck right in my face.
    David: It's nothing personal.
    Kelly: No, it's just a little perverted. What do you call those guys, uh, voyeurs or something...
    Jackie: Kelly...
    Mel: David, I forbid you to commit one more inch of videotape to that gorgeous face.
    Kelly: Thank you. I thought I was gonna have to get one of those restraining orders to keep him away from me.
    Jackie: Let's order.
    Kelly: Actually, I've lost my appetite.
    Mel: You'll be missing out, Kelly, really. This restaurant has one of the best chefs in town.
    Kelly: Well. I knew there must have been some reason why you dragged us here.
    Jackie: Kelly! That's enough!
    Mel: How 'bout a drink, to start.
    Kelly: A drink? You want my mother to order a drink?
    Jackie: I'll have a mineral water.
    Mel: Whatever.
    Kelly: Because the last thing you do is ask a recovering alcoholic what she wants to drink!
    Jackie: KELLY! Why don't you just shut up?!
    Cindy: Well, Kelly, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. I mean, true love is kind of like a locomotive, it tends to flatten anything that gets in its way.
    Kelly: Tell me about it. I feel like Gumby.
    [Brenda glares at Kelly.]
    Kelly: Gumby, he's flat.
    Kelly: Truce?
    David: Sweetheart...this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

### Pass, Not Pass [2.6]

    Brenda: Do you know my brother has the exact same shoe size as Paul Newman ?
    Andrea: Figures he would.
    [Acting out a scene in their acting class.]
    Andrea: I'm better for her than you are.
    Brenda: The hell you are!
    [Brenda slaps Andrea. Andrea turns her head and looks like she is about to cry. They both walk out into the hallway.]
    Andrea: Brenda...Brenda! That is not how we rehearsed the slap!
    Brenda: Oh no?
    Andrea: You know damn well it wasn't.
    Brenda: Well I guess I just got too involved in my character.
    Andrea: That is so lame. There was something else behind that slap and you know it!
    Brenda: Sense memory work?
    Andrea: Oh. And what is that memory based on?
    Brenda: Oh, quick learner. I think you know, Teacher's Pet!
    Andrea: This is perfect. I confide in you, share my feelings. Something I never do, and you completely turn on me!
    Brenda: Yeah, well who confided in who first?
    Andrea: I said I was sorry, Brenda. I had no idea that he was interested in me as anything more than a pupil with stage fright!
    Brenda: Yeah well now we know differently, don't we?
    Andrea: Look, Brenda. You can't steal something from someone that they don't have in the first place!
    Brenda: You know, all school year I listened to you rattling on and on about your feelings for my brother.
    Andrea: This has nothing to do with Brandon.
    Brenda: You're right. it has to do with you and me.
    Andrea: Not anymore.
    Andrea: Funny me. I thought what we had was personal.
    Chris Suiter: Look, Andrea, If you were just five years older...
    Andrea: If I were just five years older you would still be cheating on your girlfriend!

### Camping Trip [2.7]

    Brenda: What is that?
    Brandon: It's my lucky hat!
    Brenda: I'm sorry Brandon, but that is one nerdy-looking thing.
    Brandon: Come on, I think it's cool.
    Brenda: Well, maybe to a beaver!
    Cindy: And be extra careful on those deep hiking trails.
    Brenda: We will.
    Cindy: And be sure to head back to the camp well before dark!
    Brenda: We will.
    Cindy: And make sure those boys stay on top of you...when you're hiking, that is.
    Donna: I'll go too.
    Brenda: Donna!
    Donna: For, uh, the ride.
    Kelly: Don't encourage them, alright?
    Donna: There's, uh, something I need to get while we're out.
    Brandon: Like what?
    Steve: Yeah, like what?
    Donna: Uh, uh, a feminine product, okay? Is everyone happy now?
    Neil: What did I say, and why are you making me do this in front of a bunch of strangers?
    Allison: Why not? You're as much a stranger to me as they are!
    David: [holding video camera] I'm sorry, could you guys get a little bit closer together? I can't seem to get you both in the shot.
    Neil: Do you mind?!
    Neil: [to Andrea] Excuse me. [to Allison] Ally, honey, at the risk of sounding like a sexist pig, I have to ask, is it that time of the month?
    Donna: So! Anybody know any good divorce songs?
    Dylan: You got a nice home. A secure family. My mom is a looney tune and my dad is in jail for god's sake!!
    Brenda: I know. I can't imagine how that must feel.
    Dylan: You're right. You can't. You can't even imagine it. So who are you to come down on me about my negative attitude?
    Brenda: Dylan I know you got a bum deal. But can't you look at what you have that is good?
    Dylan: Like what?
    Brenda: Like your friends. Brandon loves you, all the guys think that you're totally cool. I mean every girl I know would love to go out with you
    Dylan: Every girl. But one

### Wildfire [2.8]

    Donna: Oh, wait, I've got it, uh...you know that Robert Palmer song that David was playing today, Addicted to Love ? We could do Addicted to Sex.
    Brenda: Donna, Hello Day is supposed to be a G-rated event.
    Kelly: Brenda, she said he had a cute scar, what do you think is gonna happen?
    Brenda: Kelly, are you gonna do any homework this year?
    Dylan: You can't have it both ways, Bren. The fact of the matter is you gave up any right to ask me questions about my sex life when you decided you didn't want to be a part of it.
    Brandon: Actually, I'd say you're doing just fine.
    Emily Valentine: I was, 'til I broke the 11th Commandment, "Thou shalt not go out with Brenda Walsh's boyfriend."
    Brandon: That's my fault, I was the one who told her.
    Emily: It's not your fault, Brandon, and it's not Dylan's. It's not mine, either. If Brenda had a problem, she should have said something to me.
    Brandon: She didn't really have a chance, things happened kinda fast.
    Emily: So I like guys, so guys like me, what's wrong with that?
    Dylan: Hey, did you bring your guitar?
    Emily: Yeah, I did, it's in the living room.
    Brandon: Oh, well go get it, we could use some music around here.
    Emily: K.
    Brenda: Oh great, a hootenanny.
    Brandon: Brenda!
    Brenda: Oh, excuse me. I didn't mean to be rude.
    Emily: Yes, you did. In fact, it seems like you're going out of your way to be rude to me, Brenda.
    Brenda: Well Em, why don't you just go get your guitar, and bring it back in here, and we'll all gather 'round and swoon.
    Emily: Hey! You're the one that invited me to this party, remember? If you want me to leave, just ask, I'll be happy to oblige.
    Brenda: Oh and disappoint your fans? I wouldn't dream of it.
    Dylan: Brenda!
    Brenda: Dylan, stay out of it. This is between me and Emily.
    Emily: Geez! This isn't Beverly Hills, it's Knot's Landing! When I got to school they should have given me a score card instead of a class schedule, so I could keep track of everyone's boyfriends.
    Brenda: Oh yeah, like that would have made any difference.
    Emily: Oh, grow up, Brenda! You, of all people, should know what it's like to be the new kid in school! All I was trying to do was make friends. I shouldn't have bothered.

### Ashes to Ashes [2.9]

    Brandon: This is David, Donna, and Dylan.
    David: You can just call us the three D's!

### Necessity Is a Mother [2.10]

    Brenda: So I'm thinking of going blonde again. Or maybe bald, you know, go for that Sinéad look.
    Dylan: What?
    Brenda: You haven't heard a word I've said.
    Iris: [talking about Hawaii] It's a great place to drop your inhibitions, Jim, you know? Grow a beard, swim naked.
    Jim: How...alternative.
    Brandon: Oh, come on, Dad, let's do it, let's just drop out for a while.
    Cindy: Couple of weeks in Hawaii doesn't sound bad to me right now.
    Iris: It is a magical place, you should have seen Dylan when he was there, it even mellowed him out.
    Dylan: It didn't mellow me out, I was bored out of my gourd.
    Iris: You are a magical young lady.
    Bartender: Hey man...you don't have to flash that fake I.D. every time you come in here.
    Brandon: I just don't wanna scrape you off a telephone pole today, it's this thing I got against it.

### Leading from the Heart [2.11]

    Brenda: I mean, didn't you guys used to have nightmares about taking your driver's test?
    Kelly: God, no. I passed with flying colors. I think some people are just born to drive. I mean, I think it's in my genes.
    Donna: Oh, please! You should have seen Kelly when she first got her license. For the first month, I felt like a crash test dummy.
    Kelly: So, I had a few fender benders. That's how you learn.
    Bobby: So, it doesn't seem like your brain's been totally fried by the sun out here.
    Brandon: Well, what'd you expect?
    Bobby: Well, I thought that every other word would be like, "hey dude, like let's so catch some totally fun, gnarly, radical waves."
    [The gang is playing charades.]
    Brenda: Oh I cannot believe this, who picked this? Who--who wrote this?
    Steve: Well is it a t.v. show, movie or book?
    Brenda: Steve, you better pray it's not a book.
    Surfer Dude: Oh, what happened to you man?
    Bobby: Nothing. I'm just real lazy.
    Kelly: I guess I was just being led by the heart.

### Down and Out of District in Beverly Hills [2.12]

    Andrea: Brandon, why is everybody staring at me, I mean, what's--what's wrong?
    Brandon: Didn't you forget something?
    Andrea: No, I-- [whispers] Oh my God! I forgot my clothes!
    Steve: Oh, I can't make it, I'm going to see R.E.M. that night.
    Dylan: Oooh with, uh, Christine? Sounds a little continuous.
    Kelly: Sounds kind of nauseating if you ask me.
    Brandon: Oh, wait, this Saturday I've gotta go dune bugging with Dylan. I can come home early though, if you want.
    Andrea: Maybe I should go with you. I might break my neck and then I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore.
    Brenda: He changes his address like a model changes her clothes.
    Christine: You know who Steve reminds me of? Richard Gere in the movie Pretty Woman.
    Brenda: And you're Julia Roberts, right?
    Christine: Why not?
    Brenda: Because she was a prostitute.

### Halloween [2.13]

    Steve: Don't be a squeef.
    David: Do you wanna dance?
    Cleopatra: No. [walks away.]
    David: So I guess a night of hot monkey love is out of the question.
    Brandon: Well, well, welly-well, well.
    Dylan: Can I say something? I mean, I know the last thing you need right now is another guy telling you what to do or what to think.
    Kelly: Go ahead, please.
    Dylan: You're blaming yourself for leading that guy on, but I want you to know as a guy it doesn't matter how much of a magnet a girl turns on. A guy always has a choice of not making her do something she doesn't want to do.
    Kelly: I didn't make that choice very easy, now did I?
    Dylan: Yeah, you did. You said no.
    Emily: We'll just say we're another couple going as Brandon and Emily. Hey, just think how impressed they'll be with our masks.
    Brandon: Well, I'm pretty impressed with your mask already.

### The Next Fifty Years [2.14]

    Brandon: Look, David, we're putting out this issue with a tribute to Scott.
    David: Why? So people can glance at it and then throw it in the garbage?
    Brandon: No, so people can get some idea about who he was.
    David: Look, he was a jerk, okay? He was a jerk who blew himself away, that's who he was. You don't know. You left early. You missed out on the fun part when he picked up a loaded gun and twirled it around like he was Wyatt Earp. You weren't there to see him goof up and bleed all over his mom's Persian rug.
    Brandon: David, the microphone is on.
    David: I don't care. No-one gave a rat's ass about Scott until he died and I was the worst one of all! He was my best friend and I dropped him! Because he wasn't cool like you or Kelly or Steve.
    Brandon: David...
    David: So they're looking at me. So what? They've been looking at me for days, Brandon! "Oh, poor David, is he going to be okay? I hope he hasn't cracked up yet." I can't even walk through the halls without someone in my face trying to cheer me up like they're my new best friend! Well, what about my old best friend? It doesn't matter what you write about him in that paper, Brandon. It doesn't matter what you say about someone once they're gone. What matters is how you treat them when they're still here. (pause) I guess you can quote me on that.

### U4EA [2.15]

    Steve: Hi. I'd like to exchange an egg.
    Cashier: You want to exchange an egg. Do you have a receipt?
    Steve: No. Do I need a receipt? I mean, is that part of the thing?
    Cashier: It's customary to have a receipt when you want to exchange something.
    Andrea: I think we're in the wrong place.
    Steve: [To Andrea] No, no, this is all part of the deal, watch. [To cashier] I want to exchange an egg.
    Andrea: Look, Steve, let's go.
    Cashier: What's wrong with the egg?
    Steve: Nothing!
    Cashier: But you want another.
    Steve: No, I don't want another egg, I want information!
    Cashier: Look, I don't know what you kids are on, but I'm calling the police.
    Steve: You know, I think we're in the wrong place.

### My Desperate Valentine [2.16]

    Donna: He's taking you where?
    Brenda: To Paganini.
    Donna: Oh, their spaghetti is great!
    Brenda: Donna, Paganini is a composer.
    Steve: Brandon Walsh really knows how to dump a girl. I've never seen someone so smart!

### Chuckie's Back [2.17]

    Steve: I was actually thinking of breaking down and asking Kelly to the dance. I think she deserves another chance.
    Brandon: You're giving her another chance. Isn't she the one who broke up with you?
    Steve: Yeah. But, I forgive her.
    Steve: Eat it.
    Steve: I punched out Chuckie Wilson today.
    Samantha Sanders: Oh my God, well no wonder he's stalling on this deal, how could you do this to me?

### A Walsh Family Christmas [2.18]

    Brenda: Was that Ebenezer Scrooge or Cindy Walsh?

### Fire and Ice [2.19]

    Cindy: I don't look too much like Madonna?
    Brenda: Well, I don't know, it depends on what Madonna looks like this week.
    Brenda: The power to persuade someone to buy something they didn't even know they wanted in the first place, there's nothing like it in the world.
    Brenda: I'm sorry that everybody is put off by the idea of an independent woman trying to take an aggressive posture in pursuit of a specific goal.
    Brandon: Donna, gum is not food.
    Cindy: Time to face the day!
    Brenda: Why?
    Cindy: Don't you have work today?
    Brenda: No comment.

### A Competitive Edge [2.20]

    [After Brenda gets into a fender bender]
    Brenda: Oh my God. Oh my God, tell me this isn't happening.
    David: This isn't happening.
    Donna: Bren, don't be like that, you're a good driver!
    [Brenda scoffs]
    Donna: Well, you're improving.
    Brandon: I even called Ripley's, and they don't believe it either!
    Steve: Where you going?
    Kelly: To bed.
    Steve: Ok, if you insist, I'll join you.
    [Phone rings]
    Brenda: Oh, if that's Kiefer Sutherland, tell him that I'm a little busy.
    Brandon: [answering phone] Hello, Kiefer?

### Everybody's Talking 'Bout It [2.21]

    Donna: (about Felice's pro-abstinence speech) If you say kids don't need condoms because they shouldn't be having sex, you're overlooking two important things. One is that a lot of kids are having sex, and the other is that they are kids. It's like, if you have a swimming pool in your backyard, you can tell your children not to go in, you can even put a fence up around it; but if you know they're going to find a way into that water, don't you think you aught to teach those kids how to swim?
    Brandon: Who would of thought Andrea Zuckerman would be leading the sexual revolution?
    Brenda: Who would of thought Donna Martin would be leading the next sexual revolution?!

### Baby Makes Five [2.22]

    Donna: Well, if you guys are married then that means you two are brother and sister.
    Kelly: ...Oh. My. God.

### Cardio-Funk [2.23]

    Ben: [to Brenda] Your secrets are safe with me and a room full of alcoholics.

### Meeting Mr. Pony [2.25]

    Kelly: You know you can be such a jerk sometimes!
    Steve: You wouldn't be laughing if you were failing English.
    Brandon: Where is my Mr. Pony?
    Brenda: You didn't have a Mr. Pony; you had a Mr. Lion and you lost him and cried for three days straight.
    Brandon: You do have a good memory and if you ever tell anyone that I will kill you! [laughs and gives her a look]

### Things to Do on a Rainy Day [2.26]

    Donna: [while watching the video for I Adore Mi Amor] It's the greatest video in the history of videos.
    [The guys are waiting for a stripper to show up; the doorbell rings.]
    Steve: She's here, she's here!
    Brandon: What do I do?
    Dylan: Answer the door.
    Brandon: What do I say?
    Dylan: I hear "hello" is really popular.
    [Brandon answers the door and sees Andrea.]
    Brandon: Hel--lo.
    Andrea: Brandon, hi! [laughs]
    Brandon: Andrea, what are you doing here?
    Steve: [to Dylan] Zuckerman, moonlighting?
    Dylan: Nah...
    [Discussing what they will say to Color Me Badd.]
    Donna: Well, I'm gonna ask them what their favorite color is.
    Kelly: Their favorite color is badd, of course!
    Bryan Abrams: I was thinking you might like a pass, you can come check out the show later on.
    Kelly: Oh. No, I couldn't, really.
    Bryan Abrams: Aww, come on
    Kelly: Well, I have 3 friends. Could I get 4?
    Bryan Abrams: Ok, you talked me into it. Come on. I'll get you as many as you need. I got 3 friends too.
    [While the guys are watching the stripper]
    Steve: Hey, guys, you think a burger comes with that shake?

### Mexican Standoff [2.27]

    Brenda: Dylan invited me to go to Baja with him.
    Kelly: And Cindy and Jim are letting you go?
    Dylan: She hasn't asked them yet.
    Kelly: Oh, well in that case, what videos should we rent?
    Brenda: Kelly, they might say yes.
    Kelly: Yeah, right.
    Brenda: Anyway, if they do, is it okay? I mean, do you mind?
    Kelly: Yeah, I mind. I don't see why you'd want to go and spend an incredibly cool and romantic weekend with your boyfriend, when you could stay here in town and be miserable with me.
    Brenda: Thanks Kel, I knew you'd understand.
    Dylan: We better go before the porsche turns into a pumpkin.
    Brenda: Do we have to?
    Dylan: Yeah, it's either that or you call Jimbo and ask if we can stay down here another week.
    Brenda: Ooh, adios Mexico.
    Border Patrol Officer: Hey, I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to get a legal guardian down here with your birth certificate; or failing that, they'll have to sign a sworn affidavit verifying you a citizen. Unless, maybe you're not an American citizen.
    Brenda: Of course I am. It's just that if you call my parents, I'm a dead American citizen.

### Wedding Bell Blues [2.28]

    Kelly: Dylan McKay, that's all we ever talk about! Did it ever occur to you that other people have relationships that they take seriously!?
    Brenda: How can you even compare your problems with Jake who you barely even know to my problems with Dylan? I mean, you're not even up there with Donna and David!
    Donna: What's that supposed to mean?
    Kelly: That means that Brenda's being a self-centered little bitch!
    Donna: You guys, come quick!
    Jackie: What?
    Donna: It's raining in the living room!
    Brenda: Donna, what kind of wedding are you gonna have?
    Donna: I don't know. Maybe something traditional, in a church. Or maybe I'll do something really wild, like that couple who got married bungee jumping.
    Kelly: Bungee jumping?
    Donna: Yeah, it's totally perfect. You know, you jump off the cliff with the long, rubber cord attached to you. It's totally death-defying, just like marriage.
    Brenda: Oh, and that's when you say, "I dooooooooo!"
    Andrea: If 4 out of 10 marriages end in divorce, and Kelly's mom's been divorced 3 times and David's dad's been divorced once, then they've already beat the odds; between them both they've been divorced 4 times, this marriage is gonna last forever.
    Dylan: Got Kelly fooled. Be careful, Jake. She’s a young girl. Emotional. If she feels something, it’s permanent record. Trust me, it doesn’t feel good to have that messed with.
    Jake: Kelly knows what’s up.
    Dylan: Oh, you told her your life history.
    Jake: Hey, don’t worry about Kelly. Okay, Dylan?

## Season 3
### Misery Loves Company [3.1]

    Henry Thomas: See, no one's innocent, Walsh. All of us have been hurt.
    Donna: I can't go to Europe.
    David: Why not?
    Donna: [hands him her passport] Look at this!
    David: What's wrong?
    Donna: I can't show that picture to anyone, I look horrible!
    Brenda: Can I say something? Can I please say something?
    Jim: No, you cannot say something. Don't say a word. I'm finished listening to what you have to say, Brenda, do you understand me?
    Brenda: No, I don't understand you. I don't understand anything!!
    Andrea: Everybody, you remember Jake Thurman, don't ya?
    Kelly: Yeah!
    Steve: You know the Blaze hasn't been the same since you left.
    Jake: Yeah.
    Andrea: And what am I, chopped liver?
    Steve: Yeah!
    Jackie: My water just broke.
    David: [looks at his watch] Oh man, I don't know if we can get a plumber this late.
    Kelly: You idiot, she's going into labor!

### The Twins, the Trustee, and the Very Big Trip [3.2]

    Steve: I bet Jake’s glad you’re staying in town.
    Kelly: I don’t know. We might get together some time.
    Dylan: Aww, Kelly ...
    Kelly: Hey ... I might even get together with you.
    Dylan: Really? I might just hold you to that.

### Too Little, Too Late/Paris 75001 [3.3]

    Brenda: [Brenda spits out her food] It's brains.
    Kelly: They’re off in Paris having the time of their lives, and we’re stuck here ... miserable.
    Dylan: To tell you the truth, I’m not that miserable.
    Kelly: To tell you the truth, neither am I.
    Steve: [to Dylan and Kelly] Hey, come on, Lovebirds. Get off the rope!

### Sex, Lies and Volleyball/Photo Fini [3.4]

    Kelly: [to Dylan] Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

### Shooting Star/American in Paris [3.5]

    Kelly: I can’t just kiss a guy I’ve had a major crush on my whole life and pretend that it doesn’t mean anything. ... I just don’t know what.
    Dylan: How bout, that we like each other?
    Kelly: How bout, we were both feeling lonely and we went a little too far?
    Dylan: I don’t think you mean that. [he kisses her]
    Kelly: So far, we kissed each other in your living room, in my cabana, and we got in the water today.
    Dylan: So, what? You’re makin’ a list? [kisses her] There’s another one.
    Kelly: You’re crazy.
    Dylan: Eh, I’ve been accused of worse.
    Dylan: [to Kelly] In all the beaches in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

### Castles in the Sand [3.6]

    Dylan: In all the beaches, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.

### Highwire [3.9]

    Brandon: Kissers aren't made, they're born.

### A Presumption of Innocence [3.11]

    Brandon: And how do you know so much about relationships?
    Nikki: Because I'm a girl and that's what girls do.

### Destiny Rides Again [3.12]

    Dylan: [to Brenda] Do you believe me?
    Brenda: Of course I do! You've never lied to me, and I've always respected and loved you for that. In fact, when I got back from Paris, the reason I told you that I met that guy was because you've always been honest with me.
    Dylan: Brenda, that's not necessarily true.
    Dylan: [to Kelly] Brenda thinks we should start seeing other people.
    Kelly: So she said. What do you think?
    Dylan: I think I should start seeing you.

### Rebel with a Cause [3.13]

    Kelly: You screw up a few times, everybody thinks that's who you are, all you'll ever be. Even when you try to do the right thing, it just makes you wonder if it's all worth it.
    Brenda: [to Kelly] I can't believe this. I can't believe you would do this to me.
    Kelly: Hey, you said Dylan could go out with whoever he wanted.
    Brenda: And you said you were my best friend. What a joke!
    Dylan: Hey, give it a rest Bren, alright?
    Brenda: You know, if you're trying to make me jealous Dylan, it won't work.
    Dylan: Hey! You broke up with me, alright? And don't you ever forget it!
    Brenda: So, how long has this been going on?
    Dylan: Since about 6:30.
    Brenda: You know Kelly, if you're trying to lose your bimbo image, I honestly don't think this will help.

### Wild Horses [3.14]

    Dylan: Without the strings, you're not tied to anything.
    Kelly: Well, we all have our crosses to bear.
    Brenda: Or our legs to uncross.

### It's a Totally Happening Life [3.16]

    Brenda: Brandon, do you have any pull with the yearbook editor? Because I have two nominations for the most conniving: Kelly Taylor and Dylan McKay.

### The Game Is Chicken [3.17]

    Donna: So I was blitz shopping Melrose yesterday and I see Jockey for her, Calvin Klein for her, BVD for her. Now I don't get it, I mean, I don't see them making Maidenform for him.

### Midlife... Now What? [3.18]

    Donna: [while she's in the mudbath] This is... soooo... weird.
    Kelly: Andrea, do you think Donna has an eating disorder?
    Andrea: [carefree and giggly] I don't know.

### Back in the High Life Again [3.19]

    Steve: Andrea, this is California. Blondes are like the state flower or something.
    David: My dad always taught me that beautiful women like to be told that they're smart, smart women like to be told that they're beautiful.
    Donna: So what am I?
    David: You're smart and beautiful.

### Parental Guidance Recommended [3.20]

    Curtis: David, lose the yutz.
    David: What do you mean?
    Curtis: What do you mean, what do I mean? Lose... the... yutz.
    David: Oh, you mean Steve?
    Curtis: You got other yutzes?
    Brenda: I know making Dylan choose between me and Kelly seemed like a bizarre thing to do, but I never thought it was a contest. I never thought that I would lose.

### Dead End [3.21]

    Cindy: I never knew how many muscles it took to be assertive.

### Perfectly Perfect [3.24]

    Dylan: I hate surprise parties. It's like having a job interview on your birthday.
    Kelly: In fact, it looks like I'm going to live, so you can't have Dylan back.
    Brenda: Kelly, we all need to stop beating ourselves up about the past.

### Senior Poll [3.25]

    Andrea: Congrats on winning most handsome.
    Dylan: Yeah, now my life is complete, huh?

### A Night to Remember [3.27]

    Steve: Come on. Next thing you know, they're going to outlaw sex on prom night.
    David: They can't do that, can they?

### Something in the Air [3.28]

    Everyone: Donna Martin graduates!

### Commencement (1) [3.29]

    Dylan: [to Brenda] I loved you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. Maybe that was the problem.

### Commencement (2) [3.30]

    Andrea: [during her valedictorian speech] Thank you. Oh, Mr. Meyers, Miss Teasley, uh, fellow graduates, ladies and gentlemen. Uh, today we stand here united as a class. Tomorrow, we go our separate ways as individuals…on our own and individually. We do this to follow paths, unfathomable path, which weave before us. We do so with the certainty... with the certaint that we don't have the faintest idea what we're doing at all…Which could be a very frightening prospect in a world where the… in a world where the boundaries of nations and the balance of nature can change overnight. Except that the years that we have spent at West Beverly have given us the foundation to face the future. But, we haven't just learned facts and figures, logic and reasoning skills, but we have learned the value of friendship— friendship, loyalty, and love— which will not be diminished just because we may not end up together. The memories that we have shared will not go away simply because we do. So even if the future does not always meet our expectations, or the fates are cruel to us at times, no one can ever take this moment from me… From me, from you, from any of us. No one can ever take away this moment in time.

## Season 4
### So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye [4.01]

    Katie Destable: So, I gotta ask, do you know any movie stars or kids of movie stars?
    Brenda: Just Samantha Sanders' son.
    Darla Hansen: Gosh, I guess he's pretty screwed up, huh?
    Brenda: No, actually Steve's a really good guy.
    Darla: He's not a snob?
    Brenda: He's my brother's best friend.
    Katie: Is he spoiled?
    Brenda: No more than anyone else.
    Jan Myler: Anyone from Beverly Hills, that is.
    Katie: So, what kind of car does he drive?
    Brenda: He drives a corvette. And my ex-boyfriend drives a Porsche. And most of my other friends drive BMW convertibles. They shop on Rodello Drive and they're all incredibly shallow, phony, and braindead. Are there any other stupid questions that I can answer?

### The Girl from New York City [4.02]

    Donna: Well, maybe somebody else has... the exact same Porsche.

### Radio Daze [4.05]

    Cindy: Dinner is almost ready.
    Brenda: I'm too tired to chew.
    Brandon: [to Steve] Admit that you're a horse's ass.

### Twenty Years Ago Today [4.08]

    Brenda: How did they do it? how did they stay together for 20 years?
    Brandon: Well, they still lock their door every Sunday night.

### Otherwise Engaged [4.09]

    Lucinda: Of course, like the aborigines I am a firm believer in body language.
    Brandon: Fortunately, I'm fluent in aborigine.

### And Did It... My Way [4.10]

    Steve: Marriage, blackjack. It's all a crap shoot.

### Windstruck [4.14]

    David: Say goodnight, Donna.
    Donna: Goodnight, Donna.
    Mr. Pitts: Uh, David, uh... what's with, uh, you and Donna and the old mattress mambo?
    David: Well, I just want us both to share the intimacy of a real relationship.
    Mr. Pitts: Wow. Wow, what a rap! Dr. Martin, Felice... you buy that?
    Dr. Martin: Well, as a doctor I'm familiar with the hormonal drives of young adults... but I leave all the parenting to Felice.
    Felice Martin: And I don't buy it. Call me old-fashioned, but... I don't believe in the motives of young men who wear earrings.
    [David takes off earrings.]
    Mr. Pitts: What earring? Look at this, the guy's willing to sacrifice for a shot at your daughter.
    David: Dr. Martin, Mrs. Martin, I love Donna. Not just for her body, but for her mind.
    Mr. Pitts: Woah.
    David: And... if she has sex with me, I promise, I'll marry her.
    Mr. Pitts: Woah, I think we've exposed some raw honesty, I'll tell you what... I'll spring for the condoms, what do you say, Felice?
    Felice: Well, I guess in that case, it's alright! Donna, if you're listening, sweetheart... we give you our blessing to do the wild thing with David.

### Somewhere in the World It's Christmas [4.15]

    Donna: Don't look now, but you're standing under the mistletoe!
    Dylan: Well, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm here... I'm yours.

### Thicker than Water [4.17]

    Donna: David, is that you?
    David: No, it's Saddam Hussein.

### The Labors of Love [4.19]

    Andrea: Whoever said pregnancy was a blessed event never had morning sickness.

### Scared Very Straight [4.20]

    Jim: Well, I think I invented a new tax loophole: declare yourself a hostage and deduct the ransom.

### Addicted to Love [4.21]

    Kelly: [to Brandon] Whoever said all the good ones were taken obviously never met you. You've got to be the best catch on campus.
    Brenda: Why is it that I can keep any relationship going since I broke up with you?
    Dylan: I guess you just gotta find the right guy.
    Brenda: I had the right guy and I lost him. I've never really gotten over you, Dylan. How can I fall in love with someone else when I'm still in love with you?

### Change Partners [4.22]

    Brandon: For the past few hours, I've been thinking how much nicer it is to be square dancing with you than hiding out with Lucinda.
    Kelly: If that's a line, then you know how to pick 'em.
    Brandon: It's not a line.

### A Pig Is a Boy Is a Dog [4.23]

    Brenda: This is totally immoral. We might as well eat our young!

### Cuffs and Links [4.24]

    Brandon: There's a guy at school named Josh Richland. He's a junior and he writes for the newspaper and... uh... he's been doing a little digging about me.
    Jim: What skeletons could he possibly find in your closet?
    Brandon: The female kind.
    Jim: What's wrong with that? You're 19, you're single.
    Brandon: And she's 26 and married.
    Jim: I see.
    Brandon: Actually, if you want to get technical about it, she got divorced, but that's not the worst about it.
    Jim: Okay, go ahead and hit me. Nothing could shock me now.
    Brandon: She's on the faculty.
    Jim: I'm shocked.
    Dylan: What is your problem?
    Kelly: You want to know what my problem is? I am sick and tired of stepping aside every time Brenda comes running to you with another crisis. Every time you call, he runs whether it's Palm Springs in the middle of the night or jail, he runs. He's not your boyfriend anymore.
    Brenda: And obviously you're not my friend anymore.

### The Time Has Come Today [4.25]

    Brenda: [crying] I love Dylan.

### Divas [4.27]

    Clare: [about turning 18 years old] Somehow magically overnight, the words "jailbait" just kind of vanished from my forehead.

### Truth and Consequences [4.29]

    Brenda: You ever wanted something so bad and then you finally get it and it turns into a complete nightmare?

### Mr. Walsh Goes to Washington (1) [4.31]

    Andrea: To be crazy about Brandon Walsh is not to be nuts.

### Mr. Walsh Goes to Washington (2) [4.32]

    Brenda: Dylan, I love you. I've never stopped loving you and I know now I never will.
    Dylan: I'll applaud you from afar.
    Brenda: I want more than your applause. I won't be gone forever, Dylan. Give me something to come back to.

## Cast

* Luke Perry - Dylan McKay
* Jason Priestley - Brandon Walsh
* Shannen Doherty - Brenda Walsh
* Jennie Garth - Kelly Taylor
* Brian Austin Green - David Silver
* Tori Spelling - Donna Martin
* Ian Ziering - Steve Sanders
* Gabrielle Carteris - Andrea Zuckerman
* Carol Potter - Cindy Walsh
* James Eckhouse - Jim Walsh
* Joe E. Tata - Nat Bussichio
* Tiffani Thiessen - Valerie Malone