# Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Mr. & Mrs. Smith is a 2005 romantic action comedy film starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as a bored married couple who learn that they are both assassins hired by competing agencies to kill each other.
    Directed by Doug Liman and written by Simon Kinberg.

## John Smith

* I guess that's what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning.
* We have an unusual problem here, Jane. You obviously want me dead, and I'm less and less concerned for your well-being.
* Option A: You talk, we listen, no pain. Option B: You don't talk, I remove your thumbs with my pliers, it will hurt. Option C: I like to vary the details a bit but the punch line is you die.

## Others

* Jane Smith: Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet.
* Eddie: I live with my mom because I choose to. She's the only woman I've ever trusted.

## Dialogue

    [first session with a marriage counselor]
    John: Ok, I'll go first. let me see... um... We don't really need to be here. See, we've been married for five years.
    Jane: Six.
    John: [chastened] Five or six years.
    [at the counselor's office]
    Counselor: How often do you have sex?
    Jane: I don't understand the question.
    John: Yeah I'm lost, is this a one to ten thing?
    Jane: Yeah, is, like, ten nothing or one? 'Cause tech- technically speaking, zero would be nothing.
    [after a long pause]
    Counselor: How 'bout this week?
    [another long pause]
    John: Including the weekends?
    Jane: There's this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything that we don't say to each other. What's that called?
    Marriage Counselor: Marriage.
    [about the new curtains Jane bought]
    Jane: If you don't like them we can take them back.
    John: All right, I don't like them.
    Jane: [pause] You'll get used to them.
    John: Careful, Jane. I can push the button any time I like.
    Jane: Baby, you couldn't find the button with both hands and a map.
    Jane: Promise me to leave the town or I will blow it.
    John: Ok... I give up. Please blow it.
    Jane: Excuse me. What?
    John: Go on. Blow it.
    Jane: You think I won't?
    John: I think you won't.
    Jane: OK. Five. Four. Any last words?
    John: Your new curtains are hideous.
    Jane: Goodbye John. [Janet hit's the PC keyboard and the bomb detonates. The monitor screen blacks out.] What the hell is this?
    Janet: You said Goodbye.
    John: [during a car chase] I never told you, but I was married once before. [Jane slams on the brakes] Ow! Are you insane? What's wrong with you!?
    Jane: [hitting John] You're what's wrong with me!
    John: It was a drunken Vegas thing.
    Jane: Oh, that's better! That's much better! [pause] What's her name and social security number?
    John: No, you're not gonna kill her.
    Jane: You deviated from the plan.
    John: The plan was flawed.
    Jane: The plan was not flawed.
    John: Anal.
    Jane: Organized.
    John: Jane, 90% of this job is instinct.
    Jane: Well, your instinct set off every alarm of the building.
    John: My instinct got the job done. It may not have been Jane Show...
    Jane: No! It was John Show. It was half-assed. Like Christmas, like our anniversary, like the time you forgot to bring my mother's birthday present.
    John: Your fake mother's birthday present.
    Jane: The point is, you are always the first to break team.
    John: You don't want a team. You want a servant to hire.
    Jane: I want someone I can count on.
    John: [sigh] Jane, there is no air around you any more.
    Janeh: Oh, what is that supposed to mean?
    John: That means there is no room for mistakes, whatsoever. No mistakes. No spontaneity. Who can answer that?
    Jane: Well, you don't have to. Because this is not even a real marriage!
    [brief ice cold silence]
    Danz: Who are you people?
    Jane: Shut up!!
    [at the marriage counselor's office]
    Counselor: At the scale of one to ten, how happy are you in this marriage?
    Jane: [quickly] Eight.
    John: Wait, is ten perfectly happy or...?
    Counselor: Just respond instinctively.
    John: [turns to Jane] You ready?
    Jane: Yeah.
    Together: Eight.

## Cast

* Brad Pitt - John Smith
* Angelina Jolie - Jane Smith
* Vince Vaughn - Eddie
* Kerry Washington - Jasmine
* Adam Brody - Benjamin "The Tank" Danz
* Keith David - Father
* Chris Weitz - Martin Coleman
* Rachael Huntley - Suzy Coleman
* Michelle Monaghan - Gwen
* Benton Jennings - Maitre'D
* Stephanie March - Julie (Associate #1)
* Jennifer Morrison - Jade (Associate #2)
* Theresa Barrera - Janet (Associate #3)
* Perrey Reeves - Jessie (Associate #4)
* Melanie Tolbert - Jamie (Associate #5)

## External links

* Mr. and Mrs. Smith quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* Mr. and Mrs. Smith at Rotten Tomatoes