# Yonderland

Yonderland (2013–16) is a British sitcom television series. It was created by, is written by and stars the main performers from CBBC's series Horrible Histories.

## Season 1
### The Chosen Mum [1.1]

[Debbie is trying to get her children to stand still for a photo]
    Debbie: 1... 2... 3... 4... 5. [pause] Pete, counting to 5's stopped working
    Peter: It happened at the weekend. You've got to bribe them with chocolate now.
    Debbie: What happened? Where am I?
    Elf: Well, you know the New Forest?
    Debbie: Yeah...
    Elf: It's like that, but in another world.
    Nick: I'm a magic stick. Get over it.
    Elder Trevor: She doesn't sound very impressive.
    Elder Vex: Trevor, you're a blob.

### Wizard Bradley [1.2]

    Debbie: Pete, if there was a £50 note in the garden, would you go and get it?
    Peter: Yes.
    Debbie: Well then you haven't got flu.
    Peter: What?
    Debbie: Well that's the test, for flu.
    Peter: But it's fifty quid! Don't you remember what I went through to get that £2 coin I dropped down the loo?
    Wizard Bradley: Don't miss my next performance when I will be showcasing my rain spell... weather permitting.
    [A younger Wizard Bradley is in a nightclub surrounded by women]
    Wizard Bradley: It actually looks like a wand!
    [Wizard Bradley reaches in vain for his dropped hat as the temple doors close behind him]
    Wizard Bradley: My haaaaaaaaaaaat! [pause] Can easily be replaced.

### Closing the Portal [1.5]

    Elf: Ennythingos: home of the sacred fire and our version of the clap, so just don't.
"✨JuSt dO iT!✨"

### Dirty Ernie [1.8]

    Narrator: Far far ago, the ancients wrote upon the scrolls that dark forces would sweep our realm, until only Yonderland remained. But they told also of a saviour, come from a distant world to save us from the shadows. Can you dig?

## Season 2
### Panic in the Streets of Yonderland [2.1]

    Elders: Kill the blob! Smash him in! Eat the blob!
    Vice Elder Flowers: Eat his face!
    Scribe Elder Ho-Tan: Woah woah, wait, I thought you were a vegetarian?
    Vice Elder Flowers: Is he not a vegetable?
    Scribe Elder Ho-Tan: Grey area, like fish.

### Up the Workers [2.4]

    Negatus: He's not hiding, you cretin, he's dead!
    Negatus: You have failed me for the last time.
    Demon Jeff: Please, I can keep failing you!
    Babbas: Perfect! A little helper! How are you at holding stuff?
    Demon Jeff: It's on my CV, but then again, so's computer skills, and I've no idea what that means.
    Picket Fence 1: Where did you get the egg?
    Picket Fence 2: Honestly? From the bum of a bird.
    Debbie: This could have been happening for quillennia... oh God, I've started saying "quillennia".

### Game of Crones [2.6]

    Le Fox [after smashing a bottle of wine over Igor's head]: Don't worry, it was only a Rosé.

### The Last Fahl [2.7]

    Debbie: He's clearly not all there. He collects bums!
    Squint: And stamps... no-one ever goes on about the stamps.
    Nigel: Mum said she'd texted you.
    Peter: Oh, what, d'you mean [looks at phone] "Cad conid locket lig haroo"? I haven't had a chance to send that one to Bletchley yet.
    Fahl: I only ask for the simple things in life. Food, water, move that mountain out of my sun! But no, you never fail to disappoint me.

### Careful What You Wish For [2.8]

    Demon Rita: If he's an evil genius, where's his bumbling assistant?
    Igor: Jeffrey!
    Demon Neil: Oh, good choice!
    Demon Rita: Nailed it.

## Cast

* Martha Howe-Douglas - Debbie Maddox/Imperatrix
* Mathew Baynton - Elf/Chief Elder Choop
* Jim Howick - the Crone/Lord Elder Pressley
* Simon Farnaby - Negatus/Vice-Elder Flowers
* Laurence Rickard - Wizard Bradley/Scribe Elder Ho-Tan
* Ben Willbond - Nick the Stick/Wise Elder Vex

## External links

* Yonderland quotes at the Internet Movie Database