# Vampires (film)

Vampires is a 1998 film about a team of vampire hunters that seek to prevent an ancient relic from being acquired by a group of vampires.
    Directed by John Carpenter. Written by Don Jakoby.

## Dialogue

    Jack Crow: You ever seen a vampire?
    Father Adam Guiteau: No.
    Jack Crow: Well, first of all, they're not romantic, all right? It's not like they're a bunch of fuckin' fags hoppin' around in rented formal wear and seducing everybody in sight with cheesy Eurotrash accents, all right? Forget whatever you've seen in the movies. They don't turn into bats. Crosses don't work. Garlic? You wanna try garlic? You stand there with garlic around your neck, one of these buggers will bend you fucking over and take a walk up your strada chocolata while he's suckin' the blood outta your neck, all right? And they don't sleep in coffins lined in taffeta. You wanna kill one? You drive a wooden stake right through his fuckin' heart. Sunlight turns 'em into crispy critters. You got it?
    Jack Crow: Padre... I'm beginning to like you... so don't make me hurt you, OK? Just tell me what you know... I'll buy you a beer and get you laid. Come on. If you don't tell me, I'm gonna have to start cutting on ya.
    Father Adam Guiteau: No, you won't. You're a righteous man, Mr. Crow. Besides I serve a higher master than you. Any secrets I keep are to protect the church and its followers. Part of...
    Jack Crow: [pins Adam to the wall] Open your mouth.
    Father Adam Guiteau: What?
    Jack Crow: Open your mouth! [gags Adam with a towel] Gimme your hand.
    [Jack slices Adam's hand with a knife, causing Adam to scream around the towel.]
    Jack Crow: Now listen to me, you fuck! My father kept a secret once. He got bit by a vampire. He kept it a secret from me and my mother. By the fifth day he was turning. That night he attacked my mother and then he came after me. I killed my own father, Padre. I got no trouble killin' you. Last chance.
    Man With Buick: Hey, Cowboy! Can I help you?
    Montoya: Yeah. I'm gonna borrow your car.
    [The Man gapes in disbelief.]
    Montoya: Shhh. Just say "Help yourself."
    Man With Buick: You want me to say what?
    Montoya: [pulling out a gun] Hey! Shut the fuck up OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKING TEETH OUT THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD, ASSHOLE! BACK OFF!
    Man With Buick: Uh... help yourself, boy!
    Montoya: Much obliged, partner!
    Cardinal Alba: Hello, Jack. [chuckles] From your expression, I assume you couldn't understand my presence here. I'm sorry to disillusion you, Jack. As one grows old, as death approaches, we begin to question... our faith. And I found mine lacking. "Is there a god? Is there a heaven?" I can no longer answer this for certain. I've witnessed no miracles, had no visions, and the prospect of death terrifies me. I've realized I've only one alternative, and I made a bargain. With the devil, if you wish.
    Jack Crow: You are truly a pile of dog shit, Cardinal.
    Cardinal Alba: [chuckles] Yeah, that's right. That's correct, Jack and I can live with that. After I have given what Valek wants, he will fulfill our bargain. And I will be transformed into one of his... new children. It's beautiful, isn't it?
    [Jack spits in his face.]
    Cardinal Alba: [wipes it away] Eternal life... immortality... can change a heart.

## Taglines

* The blood confrontation of the ages is about to begin.
* Prepare for the Dawn.
* From the master of terror comes a new breed of evil.

## About

* I wanted to make an edgier film than some of the ones I had been doing a few years earlier, so I really let the actors loose.
** John Carpenter, “I’m a Cheap Guy”: John Carpenter on Vampires (October 29, 2015).

## Cast

* James Woods — Jack Crow
* Daniel Baldwin — Tony Montoya
* Sheryl Lee — Katrina
* Thomas Ian Griffith — Jan Valek
* Maximilian Schell — Cardinal Alba
* Tim Guinee — Father Adam Guiteau

## External links

* Vampires quotes at the Internet Movie Database