# CSI: Miami (season 8)

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CSI: Miami (2002–2012) is a dramatic television series about the Forensics Crime Lab in Miami. It is a spin-off of the popular series CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

### Out of Time (8.01)

    Delko: Detective Caine, I thought you were going to invest in a pair of sunglasses.
    Horatio: I thought you were going to find them for me, Eric.

### Hostile Takeover (8.02)

    Darren: My clerk tells me you want to cash a check for $100,000?
    Ryan: Actually we want to give you an "I Owe You."
    Darren: Funny. Get out of here or I'm gonna call the cops.
    Calleigh: We are the cops!
    Tripp: You own Royal Vista Check cashing, Mr Ripley?
    Darren: Uh, you know what, here a better question. When are you paying back the 100 grand you took from me?
    Tripp: Pay you back, what the hell are you talking about? That money's not worth the lint in my pocket!
    Darren: What my esteemed colleague is trying to say is that we know you're counterfeiting money.

### Bolt Action (8.03)

    Dean: Look, I don't mean to be rude, but we're not insured for accidents like this.
    Horatio: See, the problem is we're not certain this is an accident. And we don't know what killed these boys.
    Dean: Yeah, well either way I just wanted to make sure my wife and I are not liable.
    Horatio: I understand. I'm actually focused on the young men who lost their lives.
    Calleigh: Well, the interviews are today, so hopefully the nightmare will be over in and Eric can come back to work.
    Ryan: Or you could both lose your jobs.
    Calleigh: That's not very positive.

### In Plane Sight (8.04)

    Ryan: So you get to fish out Burgess out of the toilet. Have fun with all that.
    Jesse: You know, why don't you go for it?
    Ryan: Well, I'm sorry first come first slime, my friend.
    Jesse: Well, why don't we play for it?
    Ryan: Rock, paper, scissors, are you serious?
    Jesse: It's the L.A. way. Why you scared?
    Ryan: Hell no, it's just I'm not eight years old that's all.

### Bad Seed (8.05)

    Walter: Okay boys, how are we going to pull this one off? We don't have the authority and I don't feel a warrant in my pocket.
    Ryan: Walter, we have badges. These rural guys barely have educations.
    Tripp: Why were you running, super-fly?
    Al: Because you were chasing me.
    Tripp: Well, we got a paradox because I didn't start chasing until you started running.

### Dude, Where's My Groom? (8.06)

    Tom: Meet Mr. Tito Estevev of Always Protected Security.
    Ryan: That company might want to think about getting a new name, don't you?
    Tom: Funny.

### Bone Voyage (8.07)

    Jimmy: Oh, hey, you are one smokin' lady. I could get you a magazine cover like that.
    Natalia: Awesome. Can you get this dirtbag out of here and I'll bag everything up?
    Ryan: What have you got?
    Walter: Possible skull fragment.
    Ryan: Walter, this is a turtle shell.
    Walter: A turtle shell?
    Ryan: Yeah, this is a turtle shell. Those are your shoes, that's the sky.
    [Ryan and Walter see a bear close to them and it roars at them.]
    Ryan: Just make yourself small and nonthreatening.
    Walter: I can't be small and nonthreatening! I'm running for it!
    Ryan: Don't, you can't outrun a bear!
    Walter: I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you.
    [The bear charges at Ryan and Walter causing them both to scream. Jesse shoots the bear.]
    Jesse: It's okay, hey, hey, you're safe now girls.

### Point of Impact (8.08)

    Walter: Man, that's insane! I mean the guy was standing right over there! Looked fine to me.
    Ryan: I bet he thought he dodged a bullet. Anyway, Walter last time I checked you can't charge a dead man with vehicular manslaughter.

### Kill Clause (8.09)

    Natalia: A few black sequins missing. Can we keep this for our investigation?
    Suspect: Really?
    Natalia: Yeah, you'll get it back. I'll give you a receipt.
    Suspect: I better not see a picture of you wearing it in Ocean Drive.
    Natalia: Thank you. [To Jesse] Wow, don't come between a girl and her dress.

### Count Me Out (8.10)

    Ryan: Well doctor, I don't have any sort of fancy medical degree, but I'd venture to guess that this victim died due to a head injury.
    Tom: Incorrect.
    Calleigh: Alright, look lady! If you do not get into that car without further incident, then I am happy to add resisting arrest to your rap sheet!
    Miss Olsen: Remember, I pay your salary.
    Calleigh: Then I deserve a raise.

### Delko For The Defense (8.11)

    Tripp: Zack Finley is not our guy. In fact I don't even know if he's a guy!
    Jesse: Oh, come on, didn't you pat him down at the crime scene?
    Tripp: Yeah, for a gun.
    Walter: Whoa, whoa, whoa, so you're saying...
    Tripp: Let me spell it out for you, the guy doesn't have the equipment.

### Show Stopper (8.12)

    Walter: This dress is so tiny. She always looks so much bigger on stage.
    Ryan: Oh, yeah? Were you a Phoenicks fan?
    Walter: Weren't you?
    Ryan: No, Walter. I'm not an eleven year old girl.
    Walter: Whatever man, Phoenicks was on fire.
    Ryan: Literally.

### Die By The Sword (8.13)

    Walter: Hey, Travis, let me ask you something. What kind of messed up world we living in when a guy can't go for a stroll without getting cut in half?
    Travis: The same kind of world that keeps me employed, I suppose.

### In The Wind (8.14)

    Walter: Hey, did she get her hearing checked out yet?
    Ryan: I told her she's a liability until she...
    Natalia: I can hear you both clear as a bell.
    Walter: You heard that?
    Natalia: Well, yeah, I went to the doctor. I, uh, got this little hearing aid.
    Walter: Check it out!
    Ryan: She's like the Bionic Woman, now.
    Horatio: Frank, does Phillip Hale have a record?
    Tripp: No, he's clean, but I pulled up his social security number to find out where he works.
    Horatio: And what'd you get?
    Tripp: Well, when he's not running over old ladies, he's a a caddie at the Forty Palms country club.

### Miami, We Have A Problem (8.15)

    Jody: What?
    Neal: Nothing!
    Jody: No, go ahead, say it!
    Neal: I knew there'd be no traffic.
    Jody: Fine. Next time we'll leave when you want to.
    Neal: No, no, no! That's okay, this is fine. This is better actually, because we can stare at this tree for 45 minutes.
    Walter: Maybe our victim's an alien.
    Ryan: Nah, I feel like Tom would have mentioned the green blood by now.
    Walter: Unless Tom's an alien too. Covering up the truth. Would explain a lot about Tom.

### L.A. (8.16)

    Horatio: You're a pornographer, Mr. Enright.
    Enright: It's adult entertainment. It's a multibillion-dollar business. A very legitimate movie business.
    Horatio: Well, then, roll credits, Mr. Enright.
    Enright': I'm sorry?
    Horatio: That's a wrap.
    Ryan: That's your story? You're gonna stick with that?
    Coop: Not only am I gonna stick with it, but it's the truth, pint-size.
    Ryan: I'm 5-9.
    Coop: [laughs] My pants are 5-9.

### Getting Axed (8.17)

    Ryan: [To Tom, who is up an elevator shaft trying to separate the victim from the elevator] Hey Tom! You still up there?
    Tom: No, Ryan, I'm on lunch break.
    Dave: You can change all you want. You can't escape your past.

### Dishonor (8.18)

    Horatio: [Catching Kyle staring at a waitress.] Subtle.
    Kyle: Yeah, well, twelve month tour in Basra will do that to you, I guess. You know, I think she likes me.
    Horatio: I think it's the uniform.
    Kyle: Yeah, more like the man wearing it.

### Spring Breakdown (8.19)

    Calleigh: What kind of a person does that? I mean just puts a girl out with the laundry.
    Tripp: Well, blame it on Spring break. Guys think it's just a vacation from common decency, they can do whatever the hell they want to do with no, no consequences.
    Calleigh: Well, I tell you what. There are gonna be consequences.
    Walter: He's lying, H. That story's got holes in it as big as the one in our vic's chest.

### Backfire (8.20)

    Ryan: Doctor.
    Tom: Concentration of carbon monoxide in his blood was 70%. That makes the cause of death asphyxiation.
    Ryan: Or you could just say he died of smoke inhalation.
    Tom: You say potato...
    Eric: Babe, work will still be here tomorrow. You should be back at the hospital.
    Calleigh: Yeah, you know...you've had this job before. You know sometimes there are just things you need to do. [about the dead boy] It's the strangest thing, but I feel like I knew him. [to the boy] Rest in peace.

### Meltdown (8.21)

    Walter: That's strange, this shouldn't be turned on.
    Horatio: How do you mean?
    Walter: I disconnected the battery before I processed it, and I left it that way.
    Rick: Battery's still connected.
    Walter: Yeah, I got eyes, pal.

### Mommie Deadest (8.22)

    Horatio: [seeing their victim at the crime scene] Dr. Loman. I think we can safely say "overkill".
    Tom: Absolutely brutal. She was struck at least nine times, with so much force and velocity that each blow on its own could have been fatal.
    Horatio: What about a murder weapon?
    Tom: Not sure yet. But judging from her injuries and the varying direction of the blood spatter, whoever did this was swinging wildly, from several different directions and angles.
    Horatio: And totally out of control.
    Tom: And fueled by rage.
    Horatio: Yes. Someone... was very, very angry. Thank you, doctor.

### Time Bomb (8.23)

    Stetler: 20 years. I gave my life for this, and what do I got to show for it? I got high blood pressure, I got two ex-wives and I got a pension that ain't worth spit.
    Horatio: We all do, that's the nature of the sacrifice.

### All Fall Down (8.24)

    Craig: I'm a divorce lawyer. I make people angry for a living.