# Road to Singapore

Road to Singapore is a 1940 film about two men who try to con their way through the South Seas.
    Directed by Victor Schertzinger. Written by Frank Butler.

## Ace Lannigan

* I just want you to stand there and admire me for a while. I just got an idea that's gonna make us a fortune. I don't know how I do it.
* Your engagement? Why you double-crossin', moonstruck pushover. Gloria hits you with a little billin' and cooin' and - bang - you're a dead pigeon, huh?
* Is that your mustache? Tell me, does your chest ever get jealous of your upper lip? Ah, a might pretty thing. A mighty pretty thing.
* Look at that! Just like a platinum blonde riding a white horse through a flock of swans.

## Joshua Mallon IV

* Oh, I'm famished! I'm so hungry my spare tire's deflated. Well, pretty near.

## Others

* Joshua Mallon IV: Now look here, Josh, I'd like to sit on a coral reef and play a ukulele myself. But, we are Mallons.
* Gloria Wycott: Charming view. I imagine on a clear day, one could see the cannibals eating a missionary!
* Gordon Wycott: You've got to bring him back on his hands and knees, even if you have to break his neck to do it.

## Dialogue

    Joshua Mallon IV: You seem to think the world is just some sort of a three-ring circus, and all you've got to do is to run around and have fun!
    Josh Mallon V: What's wrong with that?
    Joshua Mallon IV: The world won't let you - that's what's wrong with that.
    Josh Mallon V: You mean the Mallons won't let me.
    Ace Lannigan: I need some air.
    Josh Mallon V: The night air is bad for you junior, back in the net.
    Ace Lannigan: Yeah, now I know how a salmon feels.
    Ace Lannigan: [wrestling with a just caught marlin] Hey, he's still alive!
    Josh Mallon V: He won't give up!
    Ace Lannigan: He must be a Republican.
    Josh Mallon V: If the world was run right, only women'd get married.
    Ace Lannigan: Yeah. Hey, could they do that?
    [after a coat-cleaning demonstration goes wrong]
    Colonna: HEY! WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH ALL THIS LATHER?
    Ace Lannigan: Keep it for thirty days. If nobody claims it, brother it's yours!
    Joshua Mallon IV: I don't agree with you at all, Gloria. You've tried reasoning with him and got nowhere.
    Gloria Wycott: But there are different degrees of reasoning. Your idea is to jump up and down and hit people with a baseball bat.
    Ace Lannigan: We've got to agree on something right now. No more women! No women of any kind, size, shape or color.
    Josh Mallon V: Not even midgets!
    Ace Lannigan: Why, if either of us looks at anything in a skirt, the other can clip his ears off and stuff 'em down his throat.
    Josh Mallon V: And I hope you choke.

## Taglines

* Ready For Fun...Fight...or a South Seas Romance! They find them all on the...
* When BING and Bob meet Dot...those torrid tropics sure get hot! Together for the first time on screen, Bing and Bob, the aces of the airwaves, with lovely Dorothy Lamour in a riot of tropical rhythm and South Sea laughter
* Those Sun-bronzed Sirens of the Southern Seas weave a romantic spell around three great stars...Bing Crosby, Dorothy Lamour, Bob Hope On the merry, tuneful, torrid "Road to Singapore."

## Cast

* Bing Crosby — Josh Mallon V
* Dorothy Lamour — Mima
* Bob Hope — Ace Lannigan
* Charles Coburn — Joshua Mallon IV
* Judith Barrett — Gloria Wycott
* Anthony Quinn — Caesar
* Jerry Colonna — Achilles Bombanassa
* Johnny Arthur — Timothy Willow
* Pierre Watkin — Morgan Wycott
* Gaylord Pendleton — Gordon Wycott
* Miles Mander — Sir Malcolm Drake
* Pedro Regas — Zato
* Greta Granstedt — Babe
* Edward Gargan — Bill

## External links

* Road to Singapore quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* Road to Singapore at Allmovie