# Bedtime Stories (film)

Bedtime Stories is a 2008 American family-fantasy-comedy film directed by Adam Shankman and starring Adam Sandler.

## Skeeter Bronson

* [Reffering to Bugsy on his head] What the heck is on my head right now?
* [Skeeter sings to the staff] Barry had a Nottingham. Nottingham. Nottingham. Barry had a Nottingham whose beard was white as snow. [Skeeter stops singing] C'mon, give it up for the big man.
* Lucky my wallet only had three dollars, and my Derek Jeter baseball card!
* I'll have me win in the story, so I'll win for real. Do ya dig?
* [Barry Nottingham doesn't want to hug Skeeter because of germs] Let's get past that. OK. Oh, see? Look, your enjoying it. We're hugging, and nothing's happening.
* The Big Hotel Idea Story!
* Gotta babysit my niece and nephew tonight. Oh God. Got any advice for me?
* [talking on the phone from the next room] EMERGENCY! [enters the room] They don't have a TV.
* There are no happy endings in real life. The sooner you guys learn that, the better.
* [looking at Bugsy's (guinea pig) eyes] DAAAAAAAAAAH! Wow! Those would look big on a cow! Are those eyeballs or bowling balls? Need to keep my eyes off him, goodbye.

## Jill Hastings

* It's not that big, sir. It can fit into one spot.
* Excuse me Mr. Nottingham. My name is Jill Hastings. I'm a teacher at Webster Elementary.
* That's my Prius.
* [to Skeeter after he finds out that the new hotel is replacing Webster Elementary School] Don't destroy the sliver of respect I still have for you by making lame excuses. Just go away and stay away.

## Patrick Bronson

* [Skeeter mistakes him for Bobbi] I'm Patrick. She's Bobbi.
* Girls are bisgrusting, except for Trisha Sparks.
* [looks at the stars] Oh look. A pyramid.
* You have to read us a bedtime story.

## Bobbi Bronson

* [is asked how hamburgers taste] Lifechanging.
* Patrick's never kissed a girl.
* [looking at Skeeter's gifts] Shampoo, and a soap?

## Other

* Barry Nottingham Yes. Now, sign the bloody papers.
* Mickey [translating Skeeter's gibberish] Jumping up and down on the alligator.
* Barry Nottingham Germs!
* Mickey Oh, so positive visualisation. I read a book on that once...I read the back cover...I can't read. [Bugsy starts laughing] Shut up, Bugsy! I've got opposable thumbs. What do you think about that? [Bugsy stops laughing]

## Dialogue

* Skeeter Am I really getting a cherry-red ferrari?
* Robber I don't see why not.
* Skeeter For freeeee?!
* Robber Sounds good to... meeeee?
* Violet Nottingham Skeeter? Skeeter Bronson?
* Skeeter Yes, ma'am.
* Skeeter Raining gumballs?
* Patrick Why not? It's a bedtime story: anything can happen.
* Skeeter Yeah, well I guess, in the story. I just wish it was like that in real life. I really do. [imaginary wind chimes sound]
* Bobbi You go into a magical cave.
* Skeeter Caves are nice.
* Bobbi And Abe Lincoln's there.
* Skeeter Abe Lincoln?! What, is this a joke to you?! What the heck's the matter with you?!
* Skeeter So you need me, this is good. I´ll do it. But you will have to say "Skeeter is the coolest, I´m a nerd".
* Wendy Skeeter is the coolest, I´m a nerd
* Skeeter Yeah, you are!
* Marty: And so Skeeter sat on his bed filled with regret, wondering how to put the pieces of his life back together after one magical week.
* Skeeter: [sarcastic] Great ending, huh?
* Marty: That was your ending?! I thought this was just a sad part before things got better!
* Skeeter: What do you mean?
* Marty: Well in the stories I told you, just when things looked bleakest, the hero would do something unexpected and courageous to beat the bad guy, save the day and get the girl!
* Skeeter: [inspired] Yeah! How do I do that?
* Marty: It's your story, not mine. But you better get moving; go get 'em, son!

## Cast

* Adam Sandler as Skeeter Bronson
* Keri Russell as Jill
* Guy Pearce as Kendall
* Russell Brand as Mickey
* Richard Griffiths as Barry Nottingham
* Teresa Palmer as Violet Nottingham
* Lucy Lawless as Aspen
* Courteney Cox as Wendy Bronson
* Jonathan Morgan Heit as Patrick
* Laura Ann Kesling as Bobbi
* Jonathan Pryce as Marty Bronson
* Nick Swardson as Engineer
* Aisha Tyler as Donna Hynde
* Allen Covert as Ferarri Guy
* Blake Clark as Biker
* Kathryn Joosten as Mrs. Dixon
* Mikey Post as Angry Dwarf
* Rob Schneider as Indian Chief/The Robber (Uncredited)
* Arne Starr as Nottingham Employee/Senator/Cowboy/Spaceman (Uncredited)
* Thomas Hoffman as Young Skeeter
* Abigail Droeger as Young Wendy
* Jonathan Loughran as Party Guest
* Heather Morris as Cat Dancer