# Marriage is a Private Affair

Marriage is a Private Affair (1952) by Chinua Achebe Marriage is a Private Affair is set in colonial Nigeria and tells the story of a young couple, Nnaemeka and Nene, who live in Lagos, the largest city in Nigeria, and are engaged to be married. The story explores themes of tradition, culture, and modernity and raises questions about the role of tradition in contemporary society

## Quotes

* found a girl who will suit [him] admirably
** Page 24
* it is impossible for [him] to marry Nweke’s daughter
** Page 24
* deeply affected by his father’s grief
** Page 26
* the first rain in the year
** Page 29
* calls for medicine
** Page 27
* that women supply with success to recapture their husbands’ straying affection
** Page 27
* obstinately ahead of his more superstitious neighbors in these matters ** page 27
* In the cosmopolitan atmosphere of the city it had always seemed to her something of a joke that a person’s tribe could determine who he married.
** Page 23
* ‘I can’t—we must—I mean it is impossible for me to marry Nweke’s daughter.’ ‘Impossible. Why?’ asked his father. ‘I don’t love her.’ ‘Nobody said you did. Why should you?’
** Page 24
* What one looks for in a wife are a good character and a Christian background.
** Page 24
* Yes. They are most unhappy if the engagement is not arranged by them. In our case it’s worse—you are not even an Ibo.This was said so seriously and so bluntly that Nene could not find speech immediately. In the cosmopolitan atmosphere of the city it had always seemed to her something of a joke that a person’s tribe could determine whom he married.
** Nnaemeka / Narrator, paragraphs 8–9
* As Nnaemeka walked home that evening he turned over in his mind the different ways of overcoming his father’s opposition, especially now that he had gone and found a girl for him. He had thought of showing his letter to Nene but decided on second thoughts not to, at least for the moment.
** Narrator, paragraph 15
* “I don’t love her."“Nobody said you did. Why should you?” he asked.“Marriage today is different…”“Look here, my son,” interrupted his father, “nothing is different. What one looks for in a wife are a good character and a Christian background.”Nnaemeka saw there was no hope along the present line of argument.
** Nnaemeka / Okeke, paragraphs 24–28
* Nene Atang from Calabar. She is the only girl I can marry.” This was a very rash reply and Nnaemeka expected the storm to burst. But it did not. His father merely walked away into his room. This was most unexpected and perplexed Nnaemeka. His father’s silence was infinitely more menacing than a flood of threatening speech. That night the old man did not eat.
Nnaemeka / Narrator, paragraph 36
* Nnaemeka, for his own part, was very deeply affected by his father’s grief. But he kept hoping that it would pass away. If it had occurred to him that never in the history of his people had a man married a woman who spoke a different tongue, he might have been less optimistic.
** Narrator, paragraph 41
* The story eventually got to the little village in the heart of the Ibo country that Nnaemeka and his young wife were a most happy couple. But his father was one of the few people who knew nothing about this. He always displayed so much temper whenever his son’s name was mentioned that everyone avoided it in his presence. By a tremendous effort of will he had succeeded in pushing his son to the back of his mind. The strain had nearly killed him but he had persevered, and won.
** Narrator, paragraph 60
* Okeke was trying hard not to think of his two grandsons. But he knew he was now fighting a losing battle. He tried to hum a favourite hymn but the pattering of large rain drops on the roof broke up the tune. His mind immediately returned to the children. How could he shut his door against them? By a curious mental process he imagined them standing, sad and forsaken, under the harsh angry weather—shut out from his house. That night he hardly slept, from remorse—and a vague fear that he might die without making it up to them.
** Narrator, paragraphs 63 – 64

## External links

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