# The Happy Cricket

The Happy Cricket is a Brazilian animation film made in 2001 about Christopher, happy, a guitar-playing, and music-loving cricket who must save a star from Wartlord, an evil, tyrannical, and music-hating lizard king.
    Directed by Walbercy Ribas. Written by Walbercy Ribas.

## Christopher, the Happy Cricket

* [first lines] My beautiful guitar! How did it get here? Thank heavens it didn't break.
* A cricket can stop hopping, but singing, never!
* [after hearing Wartlord's new law against singing] Singing is prohibited?! But if I'm alive, it's because I sing! Singing makes me dream! That decree is ridiculous!

## Leonardo

* Oh, great! More parts of my machine are being delivered!
* [after seeing their favorite tree chopped down] This is terrible! What have they done to our beautiful tree?!

## King Wartlord

* Perfect! That diamond will be ours! With it, I will be the wealthiest, most powerful king in the planet! And I will build a gold statue, which will be seen on every corner of the world! [laughs evilly]
* What are you doing?! How could you miss?! That's why you don't make any progress: you don't take things seriously! Work on that aim, you worthless FOOL!!!
* [while trying to interrogate Snealy] Are you trying to make a fool of me, young man? Very well, allow me to introduce myself. I am Wartlord! Your king... [puts Snealy in his mouth and spits him out] and ruler! [laughs evilly]
* [when the toads hand him Christopher's guitar] This is a guitar. Guitars play only music. AND I HATE MUSIC!!! I want that diamond! POWER!!

## Buffuno

* Allow to introduce myself. I am Buffuno, His Majesty's loyal gopher... I mean, His Majesty's loyal assistant!
* [Christopher: Wait! But you're a bug, too. Shouldn't you be on our side?] Me? I'm no fool. I mean, I'm the royal fool. But I'm no fool, or am I a fool? I'm the king's fool, so I must be a fool! [chuckles] It always confuses me. Am I a fool or am I not?
* [about Wartlord] Golly, this guy is really nuts!
* [after being thrown into the swamp by Wartlord] NOW HE'S REALLY MAD THIS TIME!!
* Oh, Kingy! Wartlord! How is your graffiti... No, no, your detritus?
* [realizes Wartlord is dead after falling into a fire] Your Nothingness? Your Zeroness? Wait a minute. That's enough of that. I'm free now! [throws off his jester hat and flies away] GOODBYE, YOUR LUMPINESS!

## Other Characters

* Toad: [to a termite] Listen up, you lazy termite! I told you a thousand times that there are no breaks around here! [kicks the termite] Everyone get to work!!! EVERYONE GET TO WORK!!!! [a termite carves a statue of him standing on a toad and then is chased away by a toad]
* Spidora: For a spider, whoever falls into her web... is her dinner!
* Hawthorn: Insects despise hawthorns! They prefer flowers! That's why we don't want you here! We hate your music! Destroy the guitar!

## Dialogue

    Buffuno: Your Majesty? Your Majesty?
    Wartlord: Hmm?
    Buffuno: Mission accomplished! I've got 1,300,400 houses, 2,000 rabbit holes, 52 bird nests, 1 pumpkin, 37 cocoons, and even a cricket!
    Wartlord: A cricket?!
    Buffuno: Yeah! Christopher the Happy Cricket!
    Wartlord: Happy?! I'm the only one allowed to be happy around here! [looks up to the night sky] Oh, yes. Excellent. Buffuno, come here, will you?
    Buffuno: Yes, sir.
    Wartlord: Look up there. See all those diamonds shining down on me?
    Buffuno: Yes, sir.
    Wartlord: Perfect. All that will be ours.
    Buffuno: Ours, you say? Gee, you always promised me a lot of things, but I never get anything!
    Wartlord: Yes, yes, yes. Do you see the brightest and shiniest one of them all? [points to Linda the Night Star] Well, that's the one I want! It's mine, got it?
    Buffuno: Yes, Your Majesty! What are you gonna do with it?
    Wartlord: Get more power, power over everything! And you're going to get that diamond for me. You're going to be the world's first bugonaut!
    Buffuno: Bugonaut? Why, yes! I like it! But Your Lowness, I mean, Your Highness, don't you think it's better if we send a monkey first?
    Wartlord: [laughs] That's a good one! Get ready, and don't fail! You want to be in good shape for your big mission!
    Buffuno: Yes, sir! I'll join the health club first thing in the morning. But Your Majesty, when do you want me to go?
    Wartlord: NOW!!!!
    Buffuno: Now?! [faints]
    [Buffuno is launched into space to grab Linda the Night Star]
    Buffuno: This worst than a rollercoaster!
    Wartlord: Ha-ha! Fly! Fly! That diamond is mine!
    Buffuno: I can't tell which way is up anymore! [being hit by tiny meteors] Oh, it's staring to rain!
    Wartlord: No, no! Go to the right! More to the right! [Buffuno flies towards the moon] No-no-no-no! To your left! Your other left! [Buffuno bashes his head on the moon] What are you doing?! How could you miss?! That's why you don't make any progress: you don't take things seriously! Work on that aim, you worthless FOOL!!!
    Buffuno: Yes, sir! [feels the lump on his head] Too bad, it didn't work! Wow! Your Loudness! YOUR NOISINESS!! The Earth is not blue anymore! It must be this pollution thing!
    Wartlord: I'm not interested in that!
    Buffuno: Now what?! What am I gonna do now?!
    Wartlord: Now?! You're going to stay up there all night and think about what you did! Maybe that will teach you a lesson!
    [Buffuno tries his best to hold on to the moon, but the part of the moon where Buffuno is holding breaks, causing Buffuno to fall back to Earth]
    [Cartibella and Snealy walk on a sleeping old snail, but then they fall off as the snail wakes up]
    Cartibella: What's this? A talking rock? Oh, looks like the end of the world, Snealy!
    Old Snail: The end of the world?! Who?! Where?! What time is it?! And who might you be, little ones?!
    Cartibella: My name is Cartibella.
    Old Snail: [referring to Snealy] And who's that cabbage?
    Cartibella: "That cabbage"? Oh, this is Snealy. Excuse me, sir, but the Night Star fell from the night sky, and we were wondering if--
    Old Snail: A falling Night Star?! Oh, no! Not again! Not long ago, humankind landed on the moon, and I haven't received my retirement money!
    Cartibella: So you must know something?!
    Old Snail: About the end of the world? No, no! I don't know nothing about that, my dear! I just wanna sleep! Sleep undisturbed and wait for Noah's Ark! [goes back into his shell]
    Cartibella: Wake up, Mr. Snail!
    Old Snail: What?! What's going on?! I told you I don't know nothing! No, no, no! I don't know anything!
    Cartibella: So do you know or don't you?
    Old Snail: What?
    Cartibella: Where he lives?
    Old Snail: Who?
    Cartibella: The Magic Toucan!
    Old Snail: [laughs] So you're looking for a magic toucan, huh?
    Cartibella: Yes, yes!
    Old Snail: No, I don't know anything about no magic toucan! First you talk about a falling star and now a magic toucan! [goes back into his shell]
    Buffuno: Your Fatness! From the royal kitchen, I give you a meal worthy of a king!
    Wartlord: Where's the table?! Or do you expect me to eat on the floor?
    [three toads hop up with a table]
    Toads: Here it is, Your Majesty! Here it is! Here's the table! This way! Put it right here! No, no! Put it here, you idiot!
    Wartlord: I could eat a horse. I hope you prepared something... different. Something special. Worthy of my greatness [Buffuno reveals a bowl of beetle soup] WHAT?! Soup again?! Oh, no! I will not tolerate this! [climbs on top of the table] A king like myself, who is so close to having that diamond, has to put up with this?! [throws the soup at Buffuno]
    Buffuno: And if we don't get out hands on that diamond, how are you gonna build your statue?
    Wartlord: Well, let me see, I think I'll apply for a loan from the World Bank!
    Buffuno: [laughs] Great idea! Brilliant, Your Obviousness! You deserve that and much more! An impressive gold statue, so nobody will forget your endless mercy, your infinite kindness, and great bumbleness... I mean, bumblebees. I mean... I don't know what's wrong with me! I just can't seem to say it! Your humbleness! Don't you think he deserves it you three!
    Toads: He deserves it! He deserves it! He deserves it! He deserves it!
    Wartlord: SHUT UP, YOU STUPID AMPHIBIANS!!! Oh, and by the way, did you chop all the trees I ordered? I don't want anything to cast a shadow over the greatness of my statue.
    Buffuno: Certainly, Your Blubberpuss! Your orders were all carried out to the letter!
    [the soup bowl bounces off Buffuno and shatters on a toad's head]
    Wartlord: As for my food, get it from the village. Pronto!
    Buffuno: [stammers]
    Wartlord: Shh! Out! Get out of here!
    Toads: Let's go! [they drop the table Wartlord is standing on, causing him to fall off] Retreat! Follow me! Come on!
    Wartlord: You bunch of nincompoops!
    Buffuno: [helping Wartlord up] Yes, that's right, they're a bunch of idiots! [laughs] So true!
    Toads: Idiots? Yes, they're idiots! They're idiots! Oh, yeah, they are!
    [Wartlord finds that Night Star is gone from the sky]
    Wartlord: Look up there! You insect! Look at that! Someone has stolen my precious diamond! It was stolen!
    Buffuno: It was stolen?! Oh, my! How could they do that?! I know nothing about it, Your Hugeness! I swear it wasn't me!
    Wartlord: You don't have the brains to do something like that! Now, search the kingdom until you find it!
    Buffuno: THE KING'S DIAMOND WAS STOLEN!!! [begins running all over the castle] THE KING'S DANDELION, THE KING'S SALMON, THE KING'S DIAMOND WAS STOLEN!!! [ends up with Wartlord, back where he started] You haven't seen the King's diamond, have you?
    Wartlord: No, I haven't seen it. [growls with rage] STOP FOOLING AROUND! [knocks Buffuno off the ledge and into the swamp] FIND ME THAT DIAMOND OR I'LL THROW INTO THE DUNGEON!!!
    Buffuno: NOW, HE'S REALLY MAD THIS TIME!!! [falls into the murky water]
    Wartlord: Say, Buffuno, what's this Christopher Cricket like?
    Buffuno: Well, he's a happy cricket, Your Stupidness.
    Wartlord: Well, I'm starting to think that this diamond is a fake, and that it'll never shine!
    Buffuno: Hey, Your Frumpiness, why don't you try doing some positive thinking?
    Wartlord: Positive?!
    Buffuno: Sure! It might work!
    Wartlord: That's very difficult, Buffuno.
    Buffuno: Why don't you try it? Now focus, gather around, and close your eyes.
    Toads: Focus! Focus! Gather around!
    [he and the three toads surround Wartlord and the toads are ready to do three rounds]
    Buffuno: Concentrate! Concentrate! Concentrate!
    [one of the toads fart; before the toads are unwilling to do the last round]
    Toad: No, no! That won't work! Negative thinking's much more fun!
    [Buffuno and the toads crack up laughing]
    Wartlord: SHUT UP! I've had quite enough of your nonsense! If this diamond won't shine for me, it won't shine for everyone else!
    Buffuno: Patience, Your Dumpiness, it'll shine!
    Wartlord: Tomorrow morning, I want you to go to the village and destroy everything!
    Buffuno: But, but, but...
    Wartlord: THAT'S... AN ORDER!!!!!!
    [silence, as "AN ORDER!!!" can be heard by everyone in the village]

## Cast

* Sam Riegal — Christopher the Happy Cricket
* Bob Papenbrook — King Wartlord
* Cindy Robinson — Honeydew / Spidora
* Peter Doyle - Magic Toucan / Soldier 1
* Robert Buchholz - Barnaby / Sergeant
* Dave Mallow - Buffuno
* Steve Staley - Leonardo
* Neil Kaplan - Toad 1
* Dan Woren - Toad 2
* Grant George - Christopher's Father / Toad 3
* Stephanie Sheh - Young Christohper / Snealy
* Steve Kramer - Old Snail / General
* Mona Marshall - Cartibella
* Philece Sampler - Isabella