# X-Men; Pixie Strikes Back

A 4-issue X-title.

## Issue 1

Ruth "What are you, blind?" Aldine. - Amateur grammarian with little patience for people who can't see what's right in front of them. Laura "Don't make me come over there." Kinney. Professional hardcase with zero patience. Thinks bananas smell like nail polish remover. Megan "Oh my God. Seriously?" Gwynn. Most likely to be liked, as well as hop up and down when she's happy. Hisako "It's a family name." Ichiki. Has already finished her community service quota but is worried it didn't make her a better person. Cessily "I can kick over my head!" Kincaid. Head cheerleader. Most likely to mistake reverse for first.
Megan Gwynn: I mean it. If we don't get our ducks in a row, we're going to regret it. Laura Kinney: I dislike that expression. No one tells a duck what to do. Cessily Kincaid: That's so not true. I was at this hotel once and the ducks came right out of the elevator and climbed these little steps into a fountain. So cute! Laura: I'm confident that your experience in the field of water-fowl management will be invaluable in a crisis.
Megan: You just never know, Laura. Laura: Do not... Do not call me that name, I am--
    Laura: Hey! I'd watch where I was going if I was you.
    Male Student: This is all part of your plan to ruin our musical, isn't it!
    Megan: Quit joking around! We've got plans to hatch. And they're gonna gang aft agley if this gang doesn't get organized.
Hisako Ichiki: I hate talking in the bathroom. I even hate hearing people talking. It's as bad as hearing your parents... you know. Ruth Aldine: Without 'you know' there would be no 'you'.
    'Laura: Without mosquitoes there would be no malaria.
    Hisako: I know. And without cowboys, there would be no cows. What's your point?
Cessily: Awww! Why didn't anybody tell me my hair looked like that! Hisako: Cessily, it always looks like that. And you always complain about it. Come on now, you nearly made Laura get her mace out. Laura: It's a switchblade. Why would I carry an absurdly large object such as a mace?
Santo Vaccaro, Rockslide. Made of Rock. Victor Borkowski, Anole. Made of awesome.
Rockslide: You want I should knock? Anole: "You want I should knock?" Rockslide: Yeah, Victor. You want? Answer the question...while I'm still talkin' about the door and not your head. Anole: Go ahead, grampa. Knock away.
Blindfold: This is not what it looks like. It is not. Go away. Everyone should go away. *Victor and Santo break in the door* Boys, go away. I am hiding.
*after breaking in the door* Anole: Ruth? Ruthie? You okay? Can we come in? Rockslide: Man. That was not my fault. This stupid asteroid is totally falling apart.
    Male Student: It's not my fault you're in love with a big gay cheerleader who won't return your phone calls.
    Laura: *pulls her switchblade* What the hell did you say?
    Male Student: I said, "How long have you been seventeen?"
Kurt Wagner, Nightcrawler. Teleportation. Old woman in training. Betsy Braddock, Psylocke. Telepath with the patience of a saint.
Nightcrawler: We are always happy to meet the parent of a former student, now indispensable X-Man. Especially one so charming. Let us go and find your daughter. Mrs. Gwynn: My daughter is lost. Psylocke: Literally? Or metaphorically.
Nightcrawler: Even if you are correct, Pixie has a good head on her shoulders. She comes from good stock, no? Mrs. Gwynn: No! You witless walloon. Locked away here on your island of dreams. That girl has got me for a mother and I assure you, her father was no better.
    Nightcrawler: Her father was a coal miner, yes? What one would call a solid citizen. Salt of the earth,
    Mrs. Gwynn: You actually think that girl is bred of milk and butter. That's the dream of a witch according to her will, that is. If her father was a coal miner then I'm the president of the Porthmadog Rotary Association.

## Issue 2

    Megan Gwynn: Pixie. Megic. And then some.
    Cessily : Mercury. Well, Mercury-like. Just wants to be happy.
    Hisako: Armor. Psionic armor. If she can remember where she put it.
    Laura: X-23. Adamantium claws. Healing factor. She'll need it.
    Armor: Where the &*%# are we going?
    Armor: I repeat. Where the hell are we?
    X-23: Hisako, that is a variation on you original question. So technically, you do not repeat.
    Armor: It's virtually the same thing.
    X-23: Variation is not repetition.
    >Armor: What about that music guy. Bach. He wrote variations and I find them very repetitive.
    Pixie: This way! We are all invited to a super exclusive private Dazzler show! At least I was. You guys'll just have to suck it up and be my posse.
    'Mercury: Problem.
    Pixie: No problem! It doesn't have to be posse. How about crew? Or gang? Or marching band?!
    thug: Surprise.
    Pixie: Hi! That's a really big pipe you've got there.
    thug: Shut the $*#% up and gimme your billd or I'll use it to cave your $#*&%^# skull.
    X-23: I've got a better idea.
    Pixie:Pixie dust! Viola!
    Armor: I really wish you wouldn't just throw that stuff around like it's confetti.
    Pixie: Don't Worry! It only produces nice results! I think. I've never tried it out on myself.
    X-23: My idea was more compleat.
    Mercury: He looks happy.
    thug: Pretty kitties go boom!
    Pixie: The invite was really cool. No address, just GPS coordimates. Just punched in the numbers!
    Armor: Megan, you have trouble pushing the right buttons on a vending machine.
    Pixie: Like, I know!I always get chip when I want choc.
    Mercury: I always wondered which club only let in really ugly people.
    Armor: I always thought it would be in Oakland. Megan... we had better not be in Oakland.
    Pixie: Don't judge!
    Mercury: Is it lame to say "wow"?
    Pixie: I'll see your lame-wow and raise you an oh-my-god-smells-like-heaven. Do you guys smell that? Like cherry ice cream and Christmas morning.
    Megan: First, I just wanna say that I'm sorry about my freakout and that I called you all those horrible names! It's before I knew I had wings! But I'm okay now! It's the new normal! So, thanks for voting for me! I feel so at home here.
    Megan: ...which is why it's so important to me that my so-called friends start enjoying themselves as much as I am.
    Laura: We are your friends.
    Megan: My friends wouldn't be so riged, my friends would just be happy to go along with whatever fun idea popped into my head.My friends would want to see me happy. And I am happy. Get it?
    lead demon: She takes to it like a match to gasoline. This one ran towards her mutant deformity with open arms. As long as she was adored, as long as she felt she belonged. This one, more than any of them, is... adaptable. She comes from a world where everyone is told they are special. Where everyone has the right to be happy. Lies.
    school nurse: You said she would come alone. It's taxing our supplies. You must listen to me, one fights too hard.
    lead demon: Hush. There's a dark place in Gywnn's soul and I'm going to pry it open if it kills her. I've been without a master for so long. And soon I will have no need of one.
    Emma Frost:. White Queen. Nobody's mother, thank you.
    Victor: Anole. Green. A good kid.
    Santo : Rockslide. Made of rock. Literally and metaphorically.
    Kurt: Nightcrawler. Teleportation. Slightly behind.
    Ruth: Blindfold. Precognition. Party pooper.
    Frost: I am not at all interested in policing your every move. I don't tell you everything and, frankly, I expect the same courtesy. So unless you've got something more concrete--
    Rockslide: We found Blindfold hiding in the girl's bathroom talking about trouble.
    Frost: Oh, well then. That makes a world of difference.
    Nightcrawler: Do you know, is Pixie's mother here?!
    Frost: No. But if you hum a few bars...
    Frost: The answer is no, Kurt. Pixie's mother is not here. Why would she be? And to be honest, I thought we found Megan Gwynn under a cabbage.
    Nightcrawler: Vas?!
    Nightcrawler: Psylocke and I have just had an unusual interview with a very, very upset Mrs. Gwynn. She believes her daughter is lost.
    Frost: Literally or metaphorically?
    Nightcrawler: Why does everyone keep saying that?
    Frost: How can one be expected to resist?
    Blindfold: They did not. They will not resist. Not a one of them. Not one of them.
    Rockslide: See? I told you she knew something. I knew it.
    Anole: You're a stone cold genius, Santo. A pre-cog that knows things. Who'da thunk?
    Frost: Is there something you'd like to share with the class? Come on, now. How bad could it be. This isn't high school, dear. And I don't really have all day.
    Megan: As I see it, I think you all need to make more of an effort to fit in. Because really, you all look like a bunch of freaks. And you, little Cess. Why do I have the feeling that you are not showing your true colors? It's all right, you can show us what you really are.
    Megan: I see I'm going to have to convince you individually. So--
    Megan: Who's First? I pick Ruth.
    Blindfold: *as herself, on Utopia* This isn't good.
    Blindfold: Trouble. Trouble. Trouble.
    Frost: That is a lot of "trouble.
    Frost: How long do you think they've been gone?
    Nightcrawler: Since last night.
    Frost: Well, that's not long. How far could they get?
    Nightcrawler: Literally or metaphorically?
    Frost: Do, do be serious.
    Nightcrawler: I am. With a day off, a recipe for sauerkraut and a box of rabbits, those girls could go all the way to the white house.
    Blindfold: Private party. And they said yes please yes please yes please. But I said no, no, no that you. I do not like dancing. Razzle Dazzler.
    Frost: Dazzler? They went to see Dazzler? They went into the city?
    Blindfold: Yes. Maybe. Maybe not the city.
    Frost: Of all the stupid, idiotic wastes of time. I want to see their rooms. Now.
    Mrs. Gwynn: Our women are easily won. As wives. As allies. As weapons. As trophies. And there is but a single reason for it. Because we allow it to be so. Until the moment we do not.
    Mrs. Gwynn: The daughters have come home it seems.
    Regan Wyngarde: *to Martinique* If you are not gone by tonight, you mainland hussy, I swear I'll--
    Martinique Wyngarde: *to Regan* You self-obsessed amateur. My whole life, I've never listened yo you. Why would I start now?
    Regan Wyngarde: *to Martinique* Bimbo!
    Martinique Wyngarde: *to Regan* Remedial mathlete!
    Mrs. Gwynn: Hello, girls. Regan. Martinique. I see you've been making your father proud. Protecting the Wyngarde fortune. Putting the 'mine' back in 'Mastermind'.
    Regan Wyngarde: What do you know of out father?
    Mrs. Gwynn: I know a lot of things. Not the least of which is that it is high time both of you stopped acting like the babies of the family. You have been usurped.