# The Simpsons/Season 30

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The Simpsons (1989–present) is an American animated sitcom broadcast by the Fox Broadcasting Company created by Matt Groening. The series is a satirical depiction of American life, epitomized by the Simpson family.

### Bart's Not Dead

    Dolph: Hey, Martin Princess. If you like that cello so much, why don't you marry it?
    Chalmers: No heckling!
    Skinner: Way to crush him, sir.
    Kearney: Hey, Skinner! If you like Chalmers so much, why don't you marry him?
    Skinner: Well, as the superintendent, he's married to all the principals.
    Chalmers: Thank you. You've made the anniversary of my wife's death even more depressing.
    Milhouse: She loves me, she loves me not. Oh, why do I always use flowers with two pedals?
    Ralph: I'm turning my back on you. [does a 360] Hi, Bart!

### My Way or the Highway to Heaven

    Genevieve Bouvier: 'My husband is a collaborator!'
    US Paratrooper: 'Well I've got a screenplay I've been looking for someone to help me write.'
    Genevieve Bouvier: 'Not zat kind.'
    US Paratrooper: 'If I just get something on the page, that's progress.'

### Treehouse of Horror XXIX

    Sea Captain: Fools! This whole contest was a ruse! [Homer then yelps after being grabbed by two Fogburyport citizens] You are here to be sacrifice to an evil god from the ocean depths.
    Lisa: SpongeBob?
    Sea Captain: No! To the eternal lord of horror, Cthulhu!
    Sea Captain: An eating contest against the monstrous Cthulhu? To him, the Great Barrier Reef is just an average barrier reef.
    Lisa: Well, my dad didn't eat breakfast.
    Cthulhu: Uh-oh.

### From Russia Without Love

    Homer: All right, boy. I'm gonna find out just what you've been up to. [switches the light off, turns the torch on, Marge enters and switches the light on]
    Bart: [gulps] Oh, Mom, thank god.
    Marge: [switches the light off, turns the torch on, hand it to Homer] This one's brighter. Now talk. What are you up to? All right, we'll make you talk. Give me your phone.
    Moe: I'm putting on pants for this!

### Krusty the Clown

    Principal Skinner: I come bearing the thing you journalists hate most. News.

### Daddicus Finch

    Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman. I'm here with three local blue-collar men who voted for Trump. How do you feel now?
    Blue-Collar Man: Please stop interviewing us.
    Kent Brockman: Never!

### The Girl on the Bus

    Ralph: You were sleeping like teacher.
    Lisa: Oh, Ralph. I'm deceiving all the people I love, and it's so exciting.
    Ralph: Lies are like stars… they always come out.
    Lisa: Oh, my God, that's really profound.
    Ralph: I have five face holes!
    Homer: [yells at Bart] You do not say suck at the dinner table!
    Bart: But veggie loaf does suck. It sucks a whole truck full of butts.
    Homer: You leave trucks out of this.

### I'm Dancing as Fat as I Can

    Ned: Diddly? They can't say that on TV.

### I Want You (She's So Heavy)

    Ralph: [inside the lobster tank] I'm expensive!

### D'oh Canada

    Lisa: While the children are bouncing around why we don't do a little bouncing too.
    Bart: That it's even more romantic than what you said at quarter backs.