# Virginity

Virginity is a term used to describe the state of never having engaged in sexual intercourse.

## Quotes

Arranged alphabetically by author or source: A · B · C · D · E · F · G · H · I · J · K · L · M · N · O · P · Q · R · S · T · U · V · W · X · Y · Z · See also · External links

## A

* Positive first-time experiences reliably predicted physical and emotional satisfaction in later sexual interactions. Those who had more positive initiations into sex scored higher for sexual satisfaction and esteem later on, and reported less "sexual depression." Feeling loved and respected by one's partner was associated with more emotional satisfaction later on, and physical satisfaction, even when controlling for the overall emotional experience, was self-perpetuating as well.
** Lindsay Abrams, “How We Lose Our Virginity Shapes Our Entire Sexual Life”, The Atlantic, (January 29, 2013)
* Narrated 'Aisha: I asked the Prophet, "O Allah's Messenger! Should the women be asked for their consent to their marriage?" He said, "Yes." I said, "A virgin, if asked, feels shy and keeps quiet." He said, "Her silence means her consent."
** Aisha, Sahih Bukhari, 9:85:79
* God tells us men fucking men is a terrible thing, but a father offering his two daughters, vestal virgins no less, to a horde of horny buggers is heroic. Now that's straight. … God destroys the faggots with fire and brimstone. He turns a disobedient wife into salt. But he asks us to idolize drunks who sleep with their daughters or offer them to a horny, unruly mob.
** Rabih Alameddine on the biblical narrative of Lot and his family confronting the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah, as quoted by Wail S. Hassan in Immigrant Narratives: Orientalism and Cultural Translation in Arab American and Arab British Literature (2011), Oxford University Press, ISBN 978-0-19-979206-1, page 207.
* God was conceived of a most pure Virgin … it was fitting that the virgin should be radiant with a purity so great that a greater purity cannot be conceived.
** Anselm of Canterbury in Mary for Earth and Heaven: Essays on Mary and Ecumenism, 2002, William McLaughlin, Jill Pinnock, eds., Gracewing, ISBN 9780852445563 pp.115-116.
* Pleasure resulting from resolution of semen may arise in two ways. If this be the result of the mind's purpose, it destroys virginity, whether copulation takes place or not. Augustine, however, mentions copulation, because such like resolution is the ordinary and natural result thereof. On another way this may happen beside the purpose of the mind, either during sleep, or through violence and without the mind's consent, although the flesh derives pleasure from it, or again through weakness of nature, as in the case of those who are subject to a flow of semen. On such cases virginity is not forfeit, because such like pollution is not the result of impurity which excludes virginity.
** Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiae, Second Part of the Second Part (Secunda Secundæ Partis), Question 152. Virginity, Article 1. Whether virginity consists in integrity of the flesh?
* For in other matters also which go to make up life, we shall find differences according to circumstances. For example, it is not right to kill, yet in war it is lawful and praiseworthy to destroy the enemy; accordingly not only are they who have distinguished themselves in the field held worthy of great honours, but monuments are put up proclaiming their achievements. So that the same act is at one time and under some circumstances unlawful, while under others, and at the right time, it is lawful and permissible. The same reasoning applies to the relation of the sexes. He is blessed who, being freely yoked in his youth, naturally begets children. But if he uses nature licentiously, the punishment of which the Apostle writes shall await whoremongers and adulterers. For there are two ways in life, as touching these matters. The one the more moderate and ordinary, I mean marriage; the other angelic and unsurpassed, namely virginity. Now if a man choose the way of the world, namely marriage, he is not indeed to blame; yet he will not receive such great gifts as the other. For he will receive, since he too brings forth fruit, namely thirtyfold. But if a man embrace the holy and unearthly way, even though, as compared with the former, it be rugged and hard to accomplish, yet it has the more wonderful gifts: for it grows the perfect fruit, namely an hundredfold. So then their unclean and evil objections had their proper solution long since given in the divine Scriptures.
** Athanasius of Alexandria, Letter to Amun. Written before 354 A.D.
* Therefore no fruitfulness of the flesh can be compared to holy virginity even of the flesh. For neither is itself also honored because it is virginity, but because it has been dedicated to God, and, although it be kept in the flesh, yet is it kept by religion and devotion of the Spirit. And by this means even virginity of body is spiritual, which continence of piety vows and keeps. For, even as no one makes an immodest use of the body, unless the sin have been before conceived in the spirit, so no one keeps modesty in the body, unless chastity have been before implanted in the spirit. But, further, if modesty of married life, although it be guarded in the flesh, is yet attributed to the soul, not to the flesh, under the rule and guidance of which, the flesh itself has no intercourse with any beside its own proper estate of marriage; how much more, and with how much greater honor, are we to reckon among the goods of the soul that continence, whereby the virgin purity of the flesh is vowed, consecrated, and kept, for the Creator Himself of the soul and flesh.
** Augustine, “On Holy Virginity”, n.8
* Wherefore neither are we to believe that their fruitfulness of the flesh, who at this time seek in marriage nothing else save children, to make over unto Christ, can be set against the loss of virginity. Forsooth, in former times, unto Christ about to come after the flesh, the race itself of the flesh was needful, in a certain large and prophetic nation: but now, when from out every race of men, and from out all nations, members of Christ may be gathered unto the People of God, and City of the kingdom of heaven, whoever can receive sacred virginity, let him receive it; and let her only, who contains not, be married. For what, if any rich woman were to expend much money on this good work, and to buy, from out different nations, slaves to make Christians, will she not provide for the giving birth to members of Christ in a manner more rich, and more numerous, than by any, how great soever, fruitfulness of the womb? And yet she will not therefore dare to compare her money to the offering of holy virginity. But if for the sake of making such as shall be born Christians, fruitfulness of the flesh shall with just reason be set against the loss of chastity, this matter will be more fruitful, if virginity be lost at a great price of money, whereby many more children may be purchased to be made Christians, than could be born from the womb, however fruitful, of a single person. But, if it be extreme folly to say this, let the faithful women that are married possess their own good, of which we have treated, so far as seemed fit, in another volume; and let them more highly honor, even as they are most rightly used to do, in the sacred virgins, their better good, of which we are treating in our present discourse.
** Augustine, “On Holy Virginity”, n.9
* For not even herein ought such as are married to compare themselves with the deserts of the continent, in that of them virgins are born: for this is not a good of marriage, but of nature: which was so ordered of God, as that of every sexual intercourse whatever of the two sexes of human kind, whether in due order and honest, or base and unlawful, there is born no female save a virgin, yet is none born a sacred virgin: so it is brought to pass that a virgin is born even of fornication, but a sacred virgin not even of marriage.
** Augustine, “On Holy Virginity”, n.10
* I know what people are murmuring: 'Suppose', they remark, 'that everyone sought to abstain from all intercourse? How would the human race survive? I only wish that this was everyone's concern so long as it was uttered in charity, 'from a pure heart, a good conscience, and faith unfeigned'; then the city of God would be filled much more speedily, and the end of the world would be hastened.
** Augustine, De bono coniugali, 10

## B

* An isolated outbreak of virginity … is a rash on the face of society. It arouses only pity from the married, and embarrassment from the single.
** Charlotte Bingham, Lucinda, ch. 1 (1966).

### Bible

* If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
** Deuteronomy 22:13-21 (KJV)
* If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
** Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (KJV)
* And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands,Then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the LORD’s, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.So Jephthah passed over unto the children of Ammon to fight against them; and the LORD delivered them into his hands.And he smote them from Aroer, even till thou come to Minnith, even twenty cities, and unto the plain of the vineyards, with a very great slaughter. Thus the children of Ammon were subdued before the children of Israel.And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances: and she was his only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter.And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent his clothes, and said, Alas, my daughter! thou hast brought me very low, and thou art one of them that trouble me: for I have opened my mouth unto the LORD, and I cannot go back.And she said unto him, My father, if thou hast opened thy mouth unto the LORD, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth; forasmuch as the LORD hath taken vengeance for thee of thine enemies, even of the children of Ammon.And she said unto her father, Let this thing be done for me: let me alone two months, that I may go up and down upon the mountains, and bewail my virginity, I and my fellows.And he said, Go. And he sent her away for two months: and she went with her companions, and bewailed her virginity upon the mountains.And it came to pass at the end of two months, that she returned unto her father, who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed: and she knew no man. And it was a custom in Israel,That the daughters of Israel went yearly to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in a year.
** Book of Judges 11:30–39 (KJV); see Jephthah's daughter
* Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
** Paul of Tarsus, First Epistle to the Corinthians 7:25-28 (NIV)

#### Commentary

* It is not disparaging wedlock to prefer virginity. No one can make a comparison between two things if one is good and the other evil.
** Jerome, Letter XXII
** F. A. Wright, tr. Select Letters of St. Jerome, LCL 262 (1933), p. 91
* "If 'it is good for a man not to touch a woman', then it is bad for him to touch one, for bad, and bad only, is the opposite of good. But, if though bad, it is made venial, then it is allowed to prevent something which would be worse than bad. ... Notice the Apostle's carefulness. He does not say: 'It is good not to have a wife', but, 'It is good for a man not to touch a woman'. ... I am not expounding the law as to husbands and wives, but discussing the general question of sexual intercourse – how in comparison with chastity and virginity, the life of angels, 'It is good for a man not to touch a woman'.
** Jerome, Letter XLVIII, commenting on Paul's letter to the Corinthians
** Philip Schaff, tr. A Select Library of Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of the Christian Church, Vol. VI (1893), p. 73
* While we honour marriage we prefer virginity which is the offspring of marriage. Will silver cease to be silver, if gold is more precious than silver?
** Jerome, Adversus Jovinianum', Book I
** Schaff (1893), p. 347

## C

* There is a “diaspora,” a dispersion, even within ourselves. If Jesus were to ask me, as He did that poor demoniac in the Gospel: “What is your name?” I too would have to reply: “My name is legion, for there are many of us” (Mk 5:9). There are as many of us as there are desires, plans and regrets which we harbor, each one different from and contrary to others which pull us in opposite directions. They literally distract us, drag us apart. Virginity is a powerful aid to progress toward interior unity, in virtue of the fact that it enables us to live united to the Lord, and able to devote ourselves to Him “without distractions.”
** Raniero Cantalamessa, Virginity, trans. Charles Serignat (1995), p. 31.
* Virginity: you don't get that back, because you were in such a big hurry to get rid of it in the first place.
** George Carlin, A Place For My Stuff.
* Before losing their virginity, respondents who viewed virginity as a gift typically spoke openly about their virginity status with people they knew. In fact, they were often quite proud of being virgins. These men and women invariably discussed their virginity with their sexual partners, in part to ensure that their partners realized what a special gift they were about to receive. Self-disclosure also served as a way to encourage reciprocity. Bryan (18, heterosexual), who had made a point of discussing his virginity with his girlfriend before they had sex, explained. "If you feel as though you're not loved as much as... you love this other person, I think you kind of feel slighted." Communication about virginity status may have been facilitated by the nature of the relationship adherents to the gift frame had with their virginity-loss partners. They were the group most likely to lose their virginity in serious dating relationships and to be in love with their partners or to describe them as "soulmates." Respondents who interpreted virginity as a gift were the most likely to use contraceptives when they lost their virginity (79% did), a tendency apparently related to both willingness to communicate and the relationship between partners... On the downside, however, the five respondents (all women) whose partners failed to reciprocate described their virginity-loss experiences as emotionally devastating and diminishing their value as persons. The norm of reciprocity effectively empowers recipients at the cost of givers; therefore, participants who saw virginity as a gift were particularly vulnerable to distressing virginity-loss experiences precisely because they framed virginity as a gift.
** Laura M. Carpenter, "The Ambiguity of 'Having Sex': The Subjective Experience of Virginity Loss in the United States", reprinted from The Journal of Sexual Research 38 (2): 127-139 (2001) in Sexualities: Identities, Behaviors, and Society (2004), 2nd Edition (2015) by Michael Kimmel and The Stony Book Sexualities Research Group (editors), p. 103-104
* From a policy perspective, encouraging young people to interpret virginity as a gift- a stance consistent with many abstinence-only sex education programs- is a double-edged sword, protecting against one potential negative consequence of sexual activity (pregnancy and/or STD transmission) but increasing the likelihood of another deleterious consequence (emotional distress due to partner's nonreciprocation), In contrast, even adherents to the stigma frame whose partners ridiculed them experienced virginity loss as positive on balance, inasmuch as they lost their stigma. Participants who saw virginity loss as a process achieved the goal of gaining knowledge merely through losing their virginity, thus their partners could in practice wield little power over them.
** Laura M. Carpenter, "The Ambiguity of 'Having Sex': The Subjective Experience of Virginity Loss in the United States", reprinted from The Journal of Sexual Research 38 (2): 127-139 (2001) in Sexualities: Identities, Behaviors, and Society (2004), 2nd Edition (2015) by Michael Kimmel and The Stony Book Sexualities Research Group (editors), p. 104-105
* In contrast, participants who saw virginity as a stigma were extremely reluctant to admit their virginity to anyone they knew. Many worked to disguise their virginity, either actively- by falsifying their sexual histories- or passively- by allowing or encouraging others to assume they were no longer virgins. Not surprisingly, people who interpreted virginity as a stigma were the most likely to conceal their virginity from their virginity-loss partners. For instance. Bill (31, heterosexual) decided not to tell his partner that he was a virgin because "It was so obvious to me that she wasn't [a virgin], that I felt demeaned by, if I had [told her]." Indeed, many respondents in this group lost their virginity with relative strangers, from whom they might more easily conceal their sexual status. Most clandestine virgins avoided detection by their partners; however, the three respondents whose partners either ridiculed them as virgins or as sexually incompetent were profoundly dissatisfied with the manner in which they lost their virginity (albeit relieved to have expunged their stigma). Men were less successful than women at concealing their virginity and sexual inexperience, perhaps due to popular stereotypes of men as sexually active and women as sexually passive. Respondents who lost their virginity at relatively advanced ages were also less successful at concealment, apparently because their similarly-aged partners were already sexually experienced. The desire of adherents to the stigma frame to avoid being stigmatized as virgins also affected their use of contraceptives. Of the group least likely to employ a form of contraception (59% did), a number of these respondents declined to discuss contraception- or to insist on practicing safer sex- precisely in order to avoid appearing inexperienced or foolish to their partners.
** Laura M. Carpenter, "The Ambiguity of 'Having Sex': The Subjective Experience of Virginity Loss in the United States", reprinted from The Journal of Sexual Research 38 (2): 127-139 (2001) in Sexualities: Identities, Behaviors, and Society (2004), 2nd Edition (2015) by Michael Kimmel and The Stony Book Sexualities Research Group (editors), p. 105
* Finally, women and men who thought of virginity loss as a step in a process were typically frank about their virginity status, seeing it as a cause for neither pride nor shame. Almost all of these respondents told their virginity-loss partners that they were virgins, which may have facilitated later discussions of awkward or unpleasant aspects of virginity loss. In fact, people who interpreted virginity loss as part of a process proved to be the best-equipped to work through physically or emotionally negative experiences by talking with their partners, generally in ways that helped ensure more positive sexual experiences later on. For example, Jennifer (25, heterosexual) expected virginity loss with her boyfriend of three months to be physically and emotionally enjoyable. Instead, she found sexual intercourse to be so unpleasant and tedious that she had no desire to have sex again. She had, however, enjoyed losing her virginity on an emotional level; this, plus her boyfriend's support and encouragement were crucial in convincing her that the physical aspects of sex would improve over time.
** Laura M. Carpenter, "The Ambiguity of 'Having Sex': The Subjective Experience of Virginity Loss in the United States", reprinted from The Journal of Sexual Research 38 (2): 127-139 (2001) in Sexualities: Identities, Behaviors, and Society (2004), 2nd Edition (2015) by Michael Kimmel and The Stony Book Sexualities Research Group (editors), p. 105
* He has the special quality of virginity, most and least ambiguous of states: ignorance, yet at the same time, power in potentia, and furthermore, unknowingness, which is not the same as ignorance.
** Angela Carter, The Lady of the House of Love (1975), reprinted in Peter Haining (ed.), The Flying Sorcerers (1998), ISBN 0-441-00577-2, p. 139
* ...virginity is better than marriage, however good.... Celibacy is...an imitation of the angels. Therefore, virginity is as much more honorable than marriage, as the angel is higher than man. But why do I say angel? Christ, Himself, is the glory of virginity.
** St. John Chrysostom, Homily 19 on First Corinthians, NPNF, s. 1, v. 12, pp. 248–262.
* If any one saith, that the marriage state is to be placed above the state of virginity, or of celibacy, and that it is not better and more blessed to remain in virginity, or in celibacy, than to be united in matrimony; let him be anathema.
** Council of Trent, 11 November 1563; (reg):, CO Now LLC, Chicago. "~The Council of Trent – Session 24~". Retrieved 7 November 2016.

## G

* Which people desire to lose what they possess? A sick man his fever, a tormented husband his wife, a gambler his debts, and a girl—her virginity.
** Franz Grillparzer, Notebooks and Diaries (1808-1810).

## J

* A better understanding of the genetic underpinnings of reproductive timing could inform other kinds of research, said Paige Harden, a psychologist at the University of Texas at Austin, who was also not involved with the study. Researchers, for instance, have reported that people who lose their virginity earlier in life are more likely to have future psychological problems such as depression, and “many studies have been very quick to conclude that what’s happening is the sexual relationship is damaging or risky for teenagers in some way,” Harden said. But other studies, she said, have found that depression and a predisposition to having sex earlier could have common genetic roots. Past studies from Perry’s group and others have found that people who go through puberty earlier face higher risks of some cancers, heart disease, and diabetes. The new study, Perry said, also found a tie between early puberty and the age at which people first have sex and have a child, as well as lower levels of education.
** Andrew Joseph, “Your genes may schedule when you lose your virginity”, STAT, (Apr 18, 2016)

## K

* What actually is “virginity”? Of course, it means different things to different people, but for the most part the prevailing consensus (and the definition given by the Oxford English Dictionary) is still that “virginity” refers to a state of sexual inexperience—specifically, inexperience of heteronormative sexual intercourse, a.k.a. penile-vaginal penetration. This immediately throws up some problems.
** Faye Keegan, “It’s Time to Retire the Concept of ‘Losing Your Virginity’”, Vogue, (July 31, 2023)
* While we’re on the topic of bodies, now seems as good a time as any to remind you that there is no biological basis for the notion of virginity: it is not a scientific term used to describe the transition from one state of being to another, and, despite what some shady doctors may try and sell you, it is literally impossible to gauge a person’s level of sexual experience by inspecting their genitalia. There is no test for virginity (just ask the World Health Organization); how could there be, when engaging in the act of penetrative sex does nothing to alter the physical body in any permanent, discernible way. The hymen—that thin layer of tissue which surrounds and partly covers most (but not all) vaginal openings, and which can be (but isn’t always) torn the first time the vagina is penetrated, which sometimes (but not every time) results in bleeding—can be ruptured in a number of ways which involve no sexual contact whatsoever, such as inserting a tampon, doing gymnastics, or riding a bicycle. The notion of “virginity” is not scientific; it is a wholly and entirely social construct, existing only within our collective imaginations.
** Faye Keegan, “It’s Time to Retire the Concept of ‘Losing Your Virginity’”, Vogue, (July 31, 2023)
* Instead of this tired concept, we need a new language of sexual experience, one which is fully inclusive, and which is able to express the full macrocosm of sex, never prioritizing or privileging one individual act over another. We need a language which leaves room for gradations of experience, always recognizing that our knowledge and understanding of sexuality is never—and will never be—fully complete. Our language of sexual experience must contain multitudes because sex contains multitudes: there is always another frontier, whether it’s new preferences, positions, or partners, or perhaps changes to your own body; sex feels different after childbirth, for example, as I’m sure it does after menopause. Becoming “sexually experienced” doesn’t begin and end with penetration, and it doesn’t happen overnight: It’s a long and gradual process, with infinite potential for new discoveries. If you’re lucky, it can last a lifetime.
** Faye Keegan, “It’s Time to Retire the Concept of ‘Losing Your Virginity’”, Vogue, (July 31, 2023)
* It is regarded as normal to consecrate virginity in general and to lust for its destruction in particular.
** Karl Kraus, Beim Wort genommen (1955).
* Virginity is the ideal of those who want to deflower.
** Karl Kraus, Beim Wort genommen (1955).

## L

* He took her virginity with the gentle care of love, and with love’s glorious violence.
** Tanith Lee, Black as a Rose in Night's Sorceries (1987), p. 204
* Virginity is now a mere preamble or waiting room to be got out of as soon as possible; it is without significance. Old age is similarly a waiting room, where you go after life’s over and wait for cancer or a stroke. The years before and after the menstrual years are vestigial: the only meaningful condition left to women is that of fruitfulness.
** Ursula K. Le Guin, “The Space Crone,” The Co-Evolution Quarterly (Summer 1976).
* Women have … by imitating the life condition of men, surrendered a very strong position of their own. Men are afraid of virgins, but they have a cure for their own fear and the virgin’s virginity: fucking. Men are afraid of crones, so afraid that their cure for virginity fails them; they know it won’t work. Faced with the fulfilled crone, all but the bravest men wilt and retreat, crestfallen and cockadroop.
** Ursula K. Le Guin, “The Space Crone,” The Co-Evolution Quarterly (Summer 1976).

## M

* The late Middle Ages also saw a multiplicity of visual representations of virgin martyrs in every medium: stained glass, paintings, miniatures, sculpture. Many are extremely graphic focusing on the mutilation of the female body, including detached body parts (eyes, breasts). These images were available to an illiterate public with no access to more nuanced versions. Visual representations, however, combined with oral tradition, were sufficient to inspire the career of Joan of Arc. Calling herself "La Pucelle" (the virgin or the maid) and claiming inspiration from Catherine and Margaret, Joan led French resistance against the English in the last phases of the Hundred Years' War. She was executed by the English for heresy—an execution indistinguishable from martyrdom, as several contemporaries noted. Her canonization, in 1920, and her worldwide popularity demonstrates a continuing fascination with the image of the virgin martyr. Another late example, that of Maria Goretti, is more disturbing. In 1909, the twelve-year-old Maria, who had been frequently threatened by a neighbor, died after being stabbed by him for resisting his sexual advances. Aware of his intent, Maria did little to avoid the encounter that led to her death. These two examples demonstrate powerfully the different ways in which the example of the virgin martyr could be internalized by real women.
** Maud Burnett Mcinerney in “Women and Gender in Medieval Europe: An Encyclopedia”, edited by Margaret Schaus, Routledge, (2006), “Virgin Martyrs”, p. 816.
* I always thought of losing my virginity as a career move.
** Madonna, quoted in Madonna Unauthorized, epilogue, Christopher Andersen (1991).
* The superiority of virginity and sexual abstinence was generally taken for granted. But a dark undercurrent of hostility to sexuality and marriage became interwoven with the more benign attitudes towards the body and current as late as the second century. Attitudes diverged, and mainstream Christianity became infected with a pronounced streak of distrust towards bodily existence and sexuality. This permanent 'encratite' tendency was given powerful impetus in the debates about Christian perfection at the end of the fourth and the beginning of the fifth centuries
** Markus, John McManners (editor), The Oxford History of Christianity, University of Oxford, 2002, pp. 69-70
* It is a strange fact. In spite of all the tall talk and all the immense literature, for the last 60 years, about emancipation of labor, no sooner do the working men anywhere take the subject into their own hands with a will, than uprises at once all the apologetic phraseology of the mouthpieces of present society with its two poles of capital and wages-slavery (the landlord now is but the sleeping partner of the capitalist), as if the capitalist society was still in its purest state of virgin innocence, with its antagonisms still undeveloped, with its delusions still unexploded, with its prostitute realities not yet laid bare.
** Karl Marx, The Civil War in France, The Paris Commune, May, 1871.
* Some say no evil thing that walks by night, In fog or fire, by lake or moorish fen, Blue meagre hag, or stubborn unlaid ghost That breaks his magic chains at curfew time, No goblin, or swart fairy of the mine, Hath hurtful power o’er true virginity.
** John Milton, Comus, l. 432-437.
* Jabir b. Abdillah reported that once he was on an expedition with the Prophet salla Allahu ʿalayhi wa sallam, and when they were close to the city of Madinah, he sped on his mount. The Prophet salla Allahu ʿalayhi wa sallam asked him why he was in such a hurry to return home. Jabir replied, “I am recently married!” The Prophet salla Allahu ʿalayhi wa sallam asked, “To an older lady or a younger one?” [the Arabic could also read: “To a widow or a virgin?”], to which he replied, “A widow.”The Prophet salla Allahu ʿalayhi wa sallam said, “But why didn’t you marry a younger girl, so that you could play with her, and she could play with you, and you could make her laugh, and she could make you laugh?”He said, “O Messenger of Allah! My father died a martyr at Uhud, leaving behind daughters, so I did not wish to marry a young girl like them, but rather an older one who could take care of them and look after them.” The Prophet salla Allahu ʿalayhi wa salam replied, “You have made the correct choice.” Jabir continues, “So when we were about to enter the city, the Prophet salla Allahu ʿalayhi wa sallam said to me, "Slow down, and enter at night, so that she who has not combed may comb her hair, and she who has not shaved may shave her private area." Then he said to me, "When you enter upon her, then be wise and gentle.”
** Muhammad narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah [Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim, with various wordings, in their two Sahihs]

## O

* “I have found that amateur status is much like virginity,” Hooks wrote back; “highly praised in theory, highly frustrating in reality, and usually discarded at the first opportunity.”
** Andrew J. Offutt, Introduction to Servitude by Wayne Hooks, in Andrew J. Offutt (ed.) Swords Against Darkness III, pp. 58-59

## P

* Because “marriageable” women had to be virgins, American men at the end of the 19th century commonly turned to brothels and “red light districts” for sexual pleasure with “unmarriageable” women. So many new husbands unknowingly brought sexually transmitted infections to their brides on their wedding nights that the birthrate plummeted, especially among the middle class.
** Planned Parenthood, “A History of Birth Control Methods “, p.10
* ‘No, no; for my virginity, When I lose that,’ says Rose, ‘I’ll die’: ‘Behind the elms last night,’ cried Dick, ‘Rose, were you not extremely sick?’
** Matthew Prior, A True Maid.

## R

* Now piercèd is her virgin zone; She feels the foe within it.
** Earl of Rochester, Poems on Several Occasions (1680) “piercèd is” or “piercèd in”

## S

* “We were able to calculate for the first time that there is a heritable component to age at first sex, and the heritability is about 25%, so one quarter nature, three quarters nurture,” said John Perry, an expert in reproductive ageing and related health conditions at Cambridge University.
** Ian Sample, “Genes influence the age at which you lose your virginity, study shows”, The Guardian, (April 18, 2016)
* Writing in the journal Nature Genetics, the scientists mention another genetic variant that seemed to link red hair colour and freckled skin with women, but not men, losing their virginity later than others. Scientists identified the raft of genes from the DNA of more than 125,000 people aged 40 to 69 enrolled on the BioBank project. The most common age for both men and women losing their virginity was 18. Having drawn up the list of 38 gene regions, the team went on to verify their effects in 250,000 other men and women from Iceland and the US. The scientists go on to show how early puberty - often brought on by poor nutrition and, as a consequence, childhood obesity - has a small but direct effect on the age at which people lose their virginity, and the age they have their first child. Each of these in turn appeared to reduce the person’s chances of doing well in education. “This helps to inform us about future preventative efforts to delay puberty in young children,” Perry said.
** Ian Sample, “Genes influence the age at which you lose your virginity, study shows”, The Guardian, (April 18, 2016)
* George Davey Smith, a clinical epidemiologist at Bristol University, said: “It suggests that earlier puberty does influence early age of sexual debut, which then appears to have other consequences such as, all things being equal, earlier first birth, having more children, less likely to remain childless, and poorer educational outcomes.” While early puberty has been linked to poor educational achievement before, he said, the latest study strengthened the evidence that early puberty was a cause, and not simply a reflection of underlying factors, such as social class.
** Ian Sample, “Genes influence the age at which you lose your virginity, study shows”, The Guardian, (April 18, 2016)
* Ewan Birney, co-director of the European Bioinformatics Institute near Cambridge added: “This is an interesting study where using genetics one can better untangle cause and consequence of a complex human behaviour. Genetics only contributes a small part to age of first sexual intercourse, but the very random nature of each person’s genome means it can be used to trace the impact of this behaviour into later life with less concern about complex correlations confusing cause and consequence.
** Ian Sample, “Genes influence the age at which you lose your virginity, study shows”, The Guardian, (April 18, 2016)
* In medieval-Europe, career virginity was an option for only a small proportion of women. Nunneries were fewer and smaller than monasteries for men, and were usually open only to women whose families could afford a substantial entry fee, though at certain times and places it was possible for poorer women to commit to virginity as recluses, lay sisters, hospital sisters, and Beguines. The lives of such career virgins diverged in some key features from those of secular women. They avoided subjection to the authority of husbands, and the dangers of repeated pregnancy and childbirth. Abbesses and prioresses not only had authority over their communities, but could also wield considerable economic and legal power over their tenants and neighbourhoods. Though these powers were also exercised by noble and gentlewomen who administered their family estates, it was only the convent that offered anything like a career structure.
** Sarah Salih in Women and Gender in Medieval Europe: An Encyclopedia, edited by Margaret Schaus, Routledge, (2006), “Virginity”, p. 819.
* Your old virginity is like one of our French withered pears: it looks ill, it eats drily.
** William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well, act 1, sc. 1 (1623).
* A woman who pollutes a damsel (unmarried girl) shall instantly have (her head) shaved or two fingers cut off, and be made to ride (through the town) on a donkey.
** Manu Smriti, Chapter 8, Verse 370.
* A damsel who pollutes (another) damsel must be fined two hundred (panas), pay the double of her (nuptial) fee, and receive ten (lashes with a) rod.
** Manu Smriti, Chapter 8, Verse 369.
* If any man through insolence forcibly contaminates a maiden, two of his fingers shall be instantly cut off, and he shall pay a fine of six hundred (panas).
** Manu Smriti, Chapter 8, Verse 367.

## T

* This (even) broader assertion we make: that even if the Paraclete had in this our day definitely prescribed a virginity or continence total and absolute, so as not to permit the heat of the flesh to foam itself down even in single marriage, even thus He would seem to be introducing nothing of “novelty;” seeing that the Lord Himself opens “the kingdoms of the heavens” to “eunuchs,” as being Himself, withal, a virgin; to whom looking, the apostle also—himself too for this reason abstinent—gives the preference to continence.
** Tertullian, De monogamia (On marrying only once), Chapter 3, here translated by Rev. S. Thelwall
* Herein also you ought to recognise the Paraclete in His character of Comforter, in that He excuses your infirmity from (the stringency of) an absolute continence.
** Tertullian, De monogamia (On marrying only once), Chapter 3, here translated by Sydney Thelwall
* But, presenting to your weakness the gift of the example of His own flesh, the more perfect Adam—that is, Christ, more perfect on this account as well (as on others), that He was more entirely pure—stands before you, if you are willing (to copy Him), as a voluntary celibate in the flesh. If, however, you are unequal (to that perfection), He stands before you a monogamist in spirit, having one Church as His spouse, according to the figure of Adam and of Eve, which (figure) the apostle interprets of that great sacrament of Christ and the Church, (teaching that), through the spiritual, it was analogous to the carnal monogamy.
** Tertullian, De monogamia (On marrying only once), Chapter 5, here translated by Sydney Thelwall
* The virgin may possibly be held the happier, but the widow the more hardly tasked; the former in that she has always kept “the good,” the latter in that she has found “the good for herself.” In the former it is grace, in the latter virtue, that is crowned.
** Tertullian, Ad uxorem (To my wife), To His Wife - Book 1, Chapter VIII.—Conclusion. Here translated by Thelwall, ibid

## V

* It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.
** Voltaire, Notebooks (c.1735-c.1750).

## W

* She said that she was technically a virgin when she married Rob. That after she and Walt were married, when they first came to making love and she caught sight of his penis, she'd cracked up because it was so big and she couldn't see how in hell they'd manage it. She never said in so many words, "I never had sexual interourse with Walt," e.g. But when I asked her, "So you were technically a virgin when you married Rob" (words to this effect), she said yes. She said that whenever she and Rob made love before a Seth session, or before a class session, that the results for the ensuing session were spectacular. And that sometimes she and Rob would make love for the sake of these results in a session.
** Susan M. Watkins in Speaking of Jane Roberts, p. 181.

## Z

* City of sin, it's a pity on a whim Good girls gone bad, the city's filled with them Mommy took a bus trip, now she got her bust out Everybody ride her, just like a bus route "Hail Mary" to the city, you're a virgin And Jesus can't save you, life starts when the church end
** Jay-Z, Empire State of Mind

## See also

* Abstinence