# 50 First Dates

50 First Dates is a 2004 comedy film starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore about a man afraid of commitment, until he meets the girl of his dreams. But then he discovers she has short-term memory loss and forgets him every day.
    Directed by Peter Segal and written by George Wing.

## Henry Roth

* Happy birthday, sir. What are you, like, 200 today?
* I have no life.
* Sorry I'm not better lookin’.
* [using Willy to try and get Lucy's attention on the side of the road]
    [to Willy, who's wearing a Hawaiian t-shirt] Ok, pal. When she stops, just let her pet you. Look cute. Go to the middle of the road. Right there. Perfect. [Lucy: [bends down to pick something up and drives right over Willy] Oh, shit.]
    Here she comes. Smile. Where is she? Oh, my god! Oh no! Ok, that didn't work. Shit your pants? So did I.
* Hey, Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool! And if that's one of your special brownies, don't let any of the dolphins eat that.

## Lucy Whitmore

* Can I have one last first kiss?
* [repeated line] There's nothing like a first kiss..

## Ula

* [to his children] You kids suck; you're good at everything!
* My shirt size is medium husky.
* Sharks are like dogs. They only bite when you touch their private parts.
* [after Henry woke up dazed and confused] Your golf ball hit the cart, bounced back and hit ya in the head. It was freakin' hilarious.
* [Pretending to be Lucy for the video] Aquariums make me super horny.
* Get your brother out of the dishwasher!
* [falls through the deck of Henry's boat up to his chest] I think I pulled out my stitches again, Cuz. [pause] You got a cat? 'Cause I feel somethin' lickin' me.

## Ten-Second Tom

* [repeated line] Hi, I'm Tom!
* [at the Callahan Institute, to Doug] Don't you think you're a little old to still be having wet dreams? (laughter) Hi, I'm Tom!

## Old Hawaiian Man

* Are you staring at me or her? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out.
* [About Henry's drawing on a napkin] Can I have that? I need something to wipe my ass with.

## Others

* Alexa: [After an aborted one-night stand with a woman] I guess I prefer sausage to taco.

## Dialogue

    Security Guard 1: Hey Lucy, good to see you again!
    [Lucy walks by quietly]
    Security Guard 1: What the hell is her problem?
    Security Guard 2: She doesn't remember who you are, brah.
    Security Guard 1: Oh, yeah. I suck at this job!
    [After Lucy beat up Ula with a bat]
    Ula: Oh, you crazy bitch!
    Lucy: Yeah, KEEP RUNNING!
    Henry: [to Lucy] It's gonna be ok, Luce.
    Lucy: [to Henry] Don't call me Luce. I barely know you.
    Marlin: Sweetie, you're sorta dating him.
    [Lucy looks at Henry]
    Henry: Yeah. Sorry I'm not better lookin’.
    Doug: Thith ith from Nick and Thue. They thend their betht witheth for a thafe trip. [gives Henry a box]
    Henry: That's very nice. Spam and Reese's. All right.
    Doug: I love Thpam and Ree-thith, can I have it?
    Henry: Um, I guess.
    Marlin: Doug!
    Keanu Mokokokakoa: What's wrong with that turtle?
    Henry: He has lung problems because he smoked too much turtle weed, which is bad for you. Right, Ula?
    Ula: Wha? I don't smoke weed!
    Keanu Mokokokakoa: Hey, Dad.
    Ula: Not now, Keanu Mokokokakoa.
    Keanu Mokokokakoa: But your stitches are bleeding.
    [While playing golf, Ula has ripped the stitches over a shark bite on his waist]
    Ula: It musta been my huge back swing. [demonstrates a back swing with his club] Honah Lee, you think you can stitch me up tonight after I get back from surfing?
    Henry: Yeah, I'm lookin’ forward to it.
    Caddy: I wouldn't surf with a bleeding wound like that. You might attract a shark or something.
    Ula: What's wrong with that, cuz? Sharks are naturally peaceful.
    Caddy: Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut anyway?
    Ula: A shark bit me.
    Caddy: Nice! Go smoke another one, bro!
    Old Hawaiian Man: That was pathetic.
    Henry: Yeah? Why don't you choke on your Spam!
    Nick: What did Sue say?
    Henry: She said that if I talk to Lucy you'll kill me with a meat cleaver.
    [Lucy beats Henry up after not recognizing waking up next to him in bed]
    Doug: [hands Henry an ice pack for his head]
    I may not be able to kick your ath, but my thither thore can.
    Dr. Keats: Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up, but she'll be okay. She's watching the tape as we speak.
    Henry: Good. How's my temporal lobe lookin' there, Doc?
    Dr. Keats: Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer any short term memory loss. But was your head shaped like an egg before she hit ya?
    Doug: Hey! Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that!
    Dr. Keats: Note the intense overreaction. That's the 'roids talking. Douglas, once again, off the juice.
    Doug: It'th not juithe! It'th a protein thake!
    [Henry sticks a tooth pick in Lucy's waffle house]
    Henry: Here, you should try this out. Put this here. Swivelly door. Waffleonians can come in and out now.
    Lucy: Oh, are you from a country where it's okay to stick your fingers all over someone else's food?
    Henry: Uh, no, I'm from this country. [pause] Were you gonna eat that?
    [Henry is stopped on the side of the road. Lucy is driving by and stops to see what's going on]
    Henry: Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. You're real sweet.
    Lucy: Oh, yeah. Thank you.
    Henry: Okay.
    Lucy: Okay.
    [Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car, upsetting Lucy]
    Henry: Hah! I can't believe you fell for that!
    Lucy: Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...
    Henry: Oh...I'm so sorry...I was just joking around.
    Lucy: I can't believe you fell for THAT! HA HA!
    Update Video: Red Sox win World Series!... Just kidding.
    Update Video: Schwarzenegger elected governor!... Not kidding.
    Dr. Keats: Tom lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts ten seconds.
    Ten Second Tom: I was in an accident? That's terrible.
    Dr. Keats: Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds.
    Ten Second Tom: Get over it? I mean, what happened? Did I get shot in the brain... Hi. I'm Tom.
    Henry: [begging Marlin to let Henry see Lucy and apologize after she ate at the diner] I don't want it to end like this.
    Doug: Yeah, well, it's gonna end like thith!
    [Doug runs to beat up Henry but then Henry holds him down]
    Henry: Calm down, little fella!
    Doug: Okay, I'm calm!
    [pause]
    Doug: I coulda whooped his ath, Daddy, but this gravel - I thlipped on it and fell.
    Marlin: Then maybe you need to do a little bit more butt flexes.
    Doug: Cheap shot, Dad.
    Henry: I don't think that's an option, Lisa.
    Linda: Linda.
    Henry: I know. I changed your name for your protection.
    Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups!
    Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-in-One-Punch!
    [Henry is pretending to cry to get Lucy's attention]
    Lucy: Wonder what's the matter with him.
    Old Hawaiian Man: Looks like a stupid asshole to me.
    Keanu Mokokokakoa: Daddy, what's a nympho?
    Ula: Uh, the nympho is the state bird of Ohio.
    Kids: Ohhh.
    Henry: [to Ula] You're the state idiot of Hawaii.
    [Henry has just said "I Do" in his commitment to Lucy on the tape.]
    Ula: Really? Even though in like 10, 15 years, she could possibly let herself go and then sex would be like, nauseating for you.
    Henry: What are you, nuts? Your wife's right over there.
    [Ula faces his insulted, obese wife, who flips him off in retaliation.]
    Ula: I'm just kidding, Muumuu.
    Patient #1: [sitting in a wheelchair; about Henry] Do you know who that guy is?
    Patient #2: Dude, I don't even know who I am!'
    Patient #1: Why, you're Pablo Picasso!
    Patient #2: Really?
    Patient #1: [shakes his head and rolls away] No, not really.
    [Patient #2 gives a disapproving look as if to say "thanks a lot"].

## Cast

* Adam Sandler - Henry Roth
* Drew Barrymore - Lucy Whitmore
* Rob Schneider - Ula
* Sean Astin - Doug Whitmore
* Lusia Strus - Alexa
* Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Keats
* Amy Hill - Sue
* Allen Covert - Ten Second Tom
* Blake Clark - Marlin Whitmore
* Maya Rudolph - Stacy
* Pomaika'i Brown - Nick
* Joe Nakashima - Old Hawaiian Man
* Peter Dante - Security Guard
* Dom Magwili - Security Guard
* Jonathan Loughran - Jennifer

## External links

* 50 First Dates quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* 50 First Dates at Rotten Tomatoes