# It Takes Two (1995 film)

It Takes Two is a 1995 film about two little girls who are identical, but complete strangers, that accidentally meet one day.
    Directed by Andy Tennant. Written by Deborah Dean Davis.

## Amanda Lemmon

* [as Alyssa, after eating escargot] All this money, and these people eat slugs?!
* [as Alyssa] Ladies and gentlemen, normally, I'd be tickled to play a selection from... [briefly eyes the sheet music cover: "Frederic Chopin- Eight Pieces for the Piano"] ... Chopin, but in honor of my new stepmother, whom I absolutely adore, I've decided to play a little something of my own.

## Roger Callaway

* I made my money the old fashion way - pure dumb luck.

## Dialogue

    Vincenzo: Miss Kensington says "fashionably late" was an hour ago. What seems to be the problem?
    Carlo: I'm a hairdresser. Not a zookeeper.
    [Roger and Vincenzo watch Amanda as Alyssa banging on the piano keys at the engagement party]
    Roger: You think maybe my daughter's asking for a little attention?
    Vincenzo: I'd say she's demandin' it.
    [Amanda bangs the final notes]
    Roger: Hmm.
    Diane: [to the main office of child services on the phone] Let me just run this by you one more time, okay? Please, just hear me out, one more time. Okay. I know I don't make that much money, and I know that I'm a little bit single, but I want to adopt Amanda.
    [Anderson laughs on the other end]
    Diane: No, I... Are you laughing at me? [to Patty] He's laughing at me! [to phone] You... You stupid JERK! [hangs up in fury]
    [after the macaroni spills on Roger's head, Diane laughs and snorts as quietly as she can]
    Roger: Excuse me, ma'am. Did you just snort?
    [Diane shakes her head, snorts, and laughs again]
    Roger: I suppose you think this is funny? [picks up a butterknife w/a bit of butter on it] Well, maybe you'll get a little chuckle outta this.
    Diane: You wouldn't dare.
    [Roger flings the butter on her; Diane yelps]
    Diane: FOOD FIGHT!!!
    [a food fight breaks out]
    [Diane storms into the office after Alyssa, as Amanda, was "adopted" by the Butkises]
    Diane: You were supposed to protect her! You should've done something. Y-Y-You could've slit their tires or something! Anything!
    Jerry: They had the paperwork!
    Diane: What paperwork?!
    Patty: [hands Diane the paperwork] We couldn't find you! Miss Van Dyke was here. What did you want us to do, lie in front of the van, for God's sake?!
    Diane: I would have! [drops the paperwork] I'm takin' the Jeep! [takes the keys to the Jeep]
    Jerry: Hey, that's the camp's!
    Diane: [furiously] Oh, don't you even...! [storms off]
    Clarice: Where the hell is everybody? Vincenzo!
    [Amanda and Vincenzo have heard the whole thing]
    Vincenzo: I sure hope you got a plan.
    Harry Jr.: We've been looking for you, Your Highness.
    [he kneels to Alyssa and presents her with a makeshift crown made out of an old can]
    Alyssa: [annoyed] Leave me alone.
    Brenda: But, Your Majesty, we brought you something.
    Billy: Yeah. Something to make you feel more at home.
    [he has a plunger in his hand as a makeshift scepter]
    [Alyssa sits on a pile of scrap with her makeshift crown, cape, and scepter]
    Billy: Here's your royal throne, "Alyssa Callaway"!
    [the other kids laugh]
    Billy: Hail Betty, Queen of the scrap heap!
    All Butkis Kids: Hail Betty!
    [they kneel before Alyssa]
    Alyssa: But my name's Alyssa Callaway!
    Harry: Yeah, right. And I'm Princess Di.
    [the helicopter flies across New York City, on the way to St. Bart's]
    Alyssa: We'll never make it! We only have 10 minutes!
    Diane: So, Lou!
    Lou: Yeah?
    Diane: How close can you land this thing to the church?
    Lou: Central Park close enough?
    Diane: Central Park? The Central Park? That'll do.
    [Diane and Alyssa spot a horse-drawn carriage; Alyssa gets on]
    Diane: Oh, no. NOT another horse!
    Alyssa: Diane, come on!
    Diane: All right.
    [she gets into the carriage]
    Diane: Where is the driver?
    [she notices that the driver is at the hot dog stand, eating hot dogs]
    Diane: Oh! Hey, Buddy! Listen, you gotta take us to St. Bart's right away! It's an emergency!
    Driver: [mouthful] We're closed, Miss. I'm on my break!
    [Diane turns to Alyssa, and cocks her head, signaling her to get in the driver's seat and take the reins; Diane gets in the passenger seat and turns angrily to the driver]
    Diane: I wanna thank you for all your help, Bud!
    Alyssa: [whips the reins] HYAH!
    [the horse runs off, pulling the carriage; Diane falls backwards into the seat; the driver notices and runs after his horse]
    Driver: [still mouthful] Hey. Hey, lady! Hey, that's...
    [he spits]
    Driver: [screams clearly] THAT'S MY HORSE!!!!!
    [Alyssa and Diane arrive at the front steps of the church]
    Alyssa: Aren't you coming?!
    Diane: [stammers] Uh, no, I think I'm just gonna wait for Amanda out here.
    Alyssa: Diane Barrows! Get your butt up here this... instant!
    Diane: Okay. Okay. Maybe I'll just stand in the back and take a little look-see.
    Clarice: This is all YOUR fault!
    [she is about to slap Amanda (posing as Alyssa) but is stopped by Vincenzo]
    Vincenzo: [furiously] Lady, if you touch that child, I'll POP you one, so help me God!
    [Clarice storms off and sees the real Alyssa, then Amanda, and she does a double take]
    Clarice: Oh, my God! There's two of them! It's a conspiracy! [laughs and smiles] Well, at least I'll get to hit one of you.
    [she reaches over to slap Alyssa, but Diane stops her]
    Diane: HEY! Back off, "Barbie". And by the way, you have a little, tiny bit of something right here on your teeth.
    [she points to Clarice having lipstick on her teeth]
    Clarice: I have never been more humiliated in my LIFE!
    [she heads out the door, when...]
    Alyssa: Wanna bet?
    [she steps on the hem of Clarice's wedding gown, pulling her skirt down and exposing her underpants in front of the guests; they all laugh and take photographs]
    Clarice: Oh, my God! [shrieks] Daddy! [runs out in humiliation] Oh, my God!
    Alyssa: [to Amanda] Told ya, third time's the charm.
    Roger: W-wait a minute. All of this? This was your doing?
    [both Amanda and Alyssa nod their heads in unison]
    Diane: Oh, it WAS, was it?
    [the girls nod their heads in unison again]
    Roger: Well, ladies, what do you have to say for yourselves?
    Amanda and Alyssa: So kiss already!

## Taglines

* Two identical strangers. Two different worlds. One perfect match.
* When it comes to making the perfect match...Two heads are better than one! Especially if they look exactly alike.

## Cast

* Mary-Kate Olsen - Amanda Lemmon
* Ashley Olsen - Alyssa Callaway
* Steve Guttenberg - Roger Callaway
* Kirstie Alley - Diane Barrows
* Jane Sibbett - Clarice Kensington
* Philip Bosco - Vincenzo
* Ernie Grunwald - Harry Butkis
* Ellen-Ray Henessy - Fanny Butkis

## External links

* It Takes Two quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* It Takes Two at Allmovie