# Vic Reeves Big Night Out

Vic Reeves Big Night Out was a British comedy TV series written by and starring Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, which ran on Channel 4 for two series' in 1990 and 1991.

## Series One
### Announcer's Introductions

* Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Britain's top light entertainer and singer...Vic Reeves!
   * Episode 1 (25 May 1990)
* Ladies and gentlemen, raise your glasses and welcome Britain's top light entertainer and singer...Vic Reeves!
   * Episode 2 (1 June 1990)
* Ladies and gentlemen, please loosen your jewellery and welcome Britain's top light entertainer and singer...Vic Reeves!
   * Episode 3 (8 June 1990)
* Ladies and gentlemen, comb your hair and welcome Britain's top light entertainer and singer...Vic Reeves!
   * Episode 4 (15 June 1990)
* Ladies and gentlemen, doff your caps and welcome Britain's top light entertainer and singer...Vic Reeves!
   * Episode 5 (22 June 1990)
* Ladies and gentlemen, please relax and welcome Britain's top light entertainer and singer...Vic Reeves!
   * Episode 6 (29 June 1990)

### Vic Reeves
#### You Would Not Believe It...

* You would not believe it, ladies and gentlemen, out the back just now, Cliff Mitchelmore! Running, bombing along with this little, sort of like, wheelbarrow full of yoghurt, all these tiny little witches hovering above it...he must have been late or summat!
   * Episode 1 (25 May 1990)
* You wouldn't believe it backstage just now! Nicholas Witchell with a barrage-balloon sellotaped onto his back, trying to convince all these termites that he was their Queen!
   * Episode 3 (8 June 1990)
* You would not believe, you would not believe what's going on back there! I was round the back, Paddy Ashdown in a skimpy nightie! But it was a smart one, not a tarty one! And he was laughing at the contents of a kingfisher's diary...
   * Episode 4 (15 June 1990)
* You wouldn't believe what's going on round the back! There was Van Morrison, wearing quite a smart boob-tube. And he was climbing up this ladder with a bucket of piping hot houmous, and there was...Dr. Marietta Higgs is it? She was on the roof, she was saying 'Come on Van, man, I'm starving!'
   * Episode 6 (29 June 1990)

#### Later On We'll Be Meeting...

* Later on...we've got a family of trained puffins. They're going to be driving a vintage traction engine over some really nice, delicious fresh olives, without crushing them, mind! And they're going to be reversing it back through the smallest keyhole in Britain!
   * Episode 1 (25 May 1990)
* Later on we'll be meeting a Portugese fisherman who's going to pull all his hair out and grill it with a delicious cheese topping!
   * Episode 2 (2 June 1990)
* Later on we'll be meeting a tramp with a lamp and a little bit of cramp!
   * Episode 3 (8 June 1990)

#### Desk Links

* You know, I had a terrible day yesterday! My butler really beat me up yesterday! He cut me face, all these weeds fell out! I put a load of Savlon on me face and blocked up the high street, I got arrested!
   * Episode 1 (25 May 1990)
* I put so much petrol in my car the other day...I couldn't get in it!
   * Episode 2 (2 June 1990)
* So, there's all these greyhounds operating a switchboard in me attic, and I cut me face, the weeds fell out, spilt all over the place, perforated all these seagulls' beaks, and nothing seemed to happen at all. I was suspended in brine, it was as simple as that...!
   * Episode 3 (8 June 1990)
* D'you know, a lot of people say to me, 'Vic, why do you never contact the dead?'
   * Episode 4 (15 June 1990)

### Other Characters
#### Graham Lister

* Reeves, you workshy fop!
   * Uttered regularly throughout the series.
* Nibbles the Comedy Duck will regurgitate shrimps on hearing you recite any of the Ten Commandments.
   * Episode 2 (2 June 1990)
* I know doctors and dentists...Reeves, I have two stamps in my pocket that are slightly damp!
   * Episode 6 (29 June 1990)
* Victory is mine, you cannot deny the verdict of the ginger pop-star's hair! The truth is out, Reeves. No longer the smug git, eh? Quality has prevailed, and the voices in my head are silenced!
   * Episode 6 (29 June 1990)

#### Donald & Davey Stott

* Donald: Davey, why are you wearing a kilt? Davey: So I can say 'Donald, where's your troosers!' Donald: I've got 'em on though, Davey! Davey: Oh, I haven't thought that one through...!
   * Episode 1 (25 May 1990)
* Donald: We are Donald and Davey Stott and we are redundant, to tell you the truth! Davey: We are both completely redundant!
   * Episode 1 (25 May 1990)

#### Tinker's Rucksack

* It's not all walking!
   * Episode 2 (1 June 1990)
* I remember the summer of '75 I was your husband and you were my wife, We slept in a tent made of parsley and sage And we looked at each other and smiled.
   * Episode 2 (1 June 1990)
* I played the drums whilst you played the flute Crash bang wallop and root-a-toot-toot! We laid an egg of an enormous size In the summer of '75.
   * Episode 2 (1 June 1990)

#### Mr. Dennis

* I don't stock Curly Wurlies, I find them far too elaborate!
   * Episode 5 (22 June 1990)
* I do have a lucky bag, which I made myself, which I sell in the shop. It's made from my wife's surgical harness bags. I pop in a Smartie and, that sort of treacle with peanuts in it...hard nutty shite, I call it!
   * Episode 5 (22 June 1990)
* I do sell sweet cigarettes, and I often pop in a real one...for the children!
   * Episode 5 (22 June 1990)