# Kerching

Kerching (2003–2006) is a sitcom aimed at teenagers on CBBC that details the lives of Taj, Danny and Semour. The programme revolves around the Chill - a local restaurant - and Taj's 'Rudeboy' money-making schemes.

## Series 1

    Taj: I've lost 10 grand!
    Danny: Check down the back of the sofa.
    Danny: Hey look it's what's-her-name, flea, flame, fla...
    Taj: Fleur.
    Danny: I was getting there! Seymour here's your big chance!
    Seymour: Don't rush me bro! I'm leaving her, twisting in the wind, waiting for the right moment, then I'll strike like a cobra!
    Danny: pretends to chuckle to himself You're too scared, aren't ya?
    Seymour: Oh yeah!
    Danny: All my love i've got to send ya! 'cos you're so pretty fine and tender...
    Seymour: Stop, stop. I didn't know you felt this way about me :’’’Danny’’’!
    Fluer: Oh Hiya Seymour. What you been up to?
    Seymour: I... i i erm. been you look, i mean....
    Fluer: I hope the end of these sentences are good!
    Danny: and Taj laugh in the background
    Seymour: Thats erm me yeh erm funny haha no funny erm weird.
    Ricardo walks in.
    Ricardo:Alright me lovely (to fleur) where have you been all my life?
    Taj: Sane! While you haven't been bothering her. Did i mention i am Sonny on Hollyoaks now?

## Series 2

    Taj: I'll tell you three things I did wrong (looks at Danny) 1, walk like I was wearing cardboard underwear (looks at Seymour) 2, act like I didn't care and 3, listen to you two glovepuppets! (Walks off)
    Danny: (counting on fingers) isn't that four? (Seymour hits Danny and holds up three fingers)
    Taj: Oh great, pay me in cans.
    Danny: How you gonna fit that in your wallet?
    Missy: (to customer) Like I told you an hour ago, I'll be with you in a minute.
    Seymour: Do we have to wear the chef's hats?
    Alex: It was the only way I could get Carlton to lend us his kitchen.
    Danny: How's he going to know if we don't wear them?
    Carlton: You'd be surprised!
    Danny and Seymour are caring for a baby simulator
    Seymour: You're a good baby aren't you Ainsley!
    Danny: I'm not calling our baby Ainsley, she's Kareesha-sha-sha-sha!
    Seymour: Danny, she's a he!
    Danny: How do you know?
    Seymour: How do you think I know?
    Danny: Ainsley it is then!
    Ricardo: My Dad says he's always known I've had talent. But now, he's says it time I have some real responsibility...
    Danny: What, he's going to let you tie your own shoelaces?!!
    Seymour: You sent a Rudeboy Master, with Taj's name on it, to Ricardo. You, you plughole!
    Danny: But, but you confused me, man!
    Seymour: Danny, bananas confuse you!
    The boys try to steal back the Rudeboy Master from Hip City
    Taj: Where's Danny?
    Seymour: He's under trance!
    (Danny pops up from behind a vinyl disc section labelled "Trance")
    Taj: Now I'm gonna be late meeting Alex because of you two!
    Seymour: Don't blame me, blame DJ Airhead over there!

## Series 3

    Flashback: start of Rudeboy
    Younger Taj: I'm the man now. Do you know what that means?
    Younger Danny: First pick of the biscuit tin!
    Younger Seymour: No Danny, you...you...biscuit tin!
    Ricardo: We're called 20-20.
    Michael: Because you have a clear, creative vision?
    Ricardo: No, because there's 40 of us. We make So-Solid-Crew look like Nobby-No-Mates!
    Kareesha: Carlton finally got another waitress. And fancy being called "Baz".
    Jazmin: Actually it's Jaz-min.
    Danny, Seymour, Taj, Omar, Mrs Lewis and Kareesha look at her
    Kareesha screams
    (Ricardo is unsure whether to go and live with his mum in Italy, or with his Dad in Manchester)
    Michael: But I thought you loved in Italy, bro.
    Ricardo: Yeah, but I can't speak a word of Italian.
    Alex: Then move to Manchester with your Dad.
    Ricardo: If I can't learn Italian, how am I gonna learn Manchesterian...
    Michael rolls his eyes
    Danny: After discovering Taj was dating Alex You mean lying. Tajan Lewis! How dare you treat your boyfriends... I mean friends like this.

## Series 4

    Danny has sent the childish radio advertisement jingle Rudebunny to a local radio station, and it is playing.
    Taj: Danny what was the last thing I said to you before you left?!
    Danny: Don't get 'em mixed up
    Taj: And what did you do?
    Danny: I got 'em mixed up

## Characters

    Taj Lewis - Devon Anderson
    Seymour Franklin - Tendayi Jembere
    Danny Spooner - Jamie Sweeney
    Missy Lewis - Tisha Martin
    Kareesha Lopez - Velile Tshabalala
    Josephine Lewis - Judy Browne
    Omar Lewis - Jaeden Burke
    Ricardo Murray - Danny Young
    Carlton - Curtis Walker
    Tamsin - Hannah Tointon
    Leon - Joe Gritt
    Alex Moss - Elspeth Rae

## External links

* Kerching! game
* BBC summary of the programme