# Alien Loves Predator

Alien Loves Predator, or ALP, (2004-) is a webcomic written by Bernie Hou. It spoofs the Alien Vs. Predator franchise. Reversing the adversarial relationship depicted in Alien vs. Predator, ALP presents an Alien (named Abe) and a Predator (named Preston) as friends and roommates in current-day New York City. The last update appeared June 2nd, 2011. There is currently no mention of the the status of either Mr. Hou or the comic itself.

## #1

    Abe: "Staten Island"? Now they're just making up places.

## #2

    Preston: OK, Abe just went to hit on some girls on a blanket next to us. Look for them fleeing in disgust.

## #7

    Abe: You know what I'd do if I could cloak?
    Preston: Sneak into girl's locker rooms.
    Abe: Fuck yeah!
    Preston: You do that now!

## #8

    Preston: What celebrity do I most resemble?
    Abe: Jennifer Love Hewitt.

## #9

    Preston: What is my favorite word?
    [Abe hits him]
    Preston: Ow! What the fuck, you fuck! Fucking smacking me in the fucking head! Fuck that fucking hurt! Come here you fuck, I'm gonna fucking... oh, thanks.

## #14

    Abe: Why don't they have weed dating? I'd be all over that shit.
    Preston: I've got something you should try. It's called "Carbon dating"

## #16

    Woman: Why aren't you wearing pants?
    Abe: Phew! I was afraid you'd ask me something awkward.

## #20

    Man: Welcome to the open house! Help yourself to some crack!

## #23

    Preston: Who's your daddy?
    Man: Ah, we meet again. Only this time, the pupil has become the master.
    Preston: The correct answer was "The Yankees! The Yankees are my daddy!"

## #24

    Abe: Chicks dig dangerous guys!
    Preston: You don't need any help convincing women you're unsafe.

## #25

    Abe: Will this hurt more or less than having a gerbil shoved up your ass?

## #29

    William Hung Tattoo: Let me eat his liver!

## #31

    Abe: Do they have George Bush the third's inauguration?
    Preston: Dammit, don't even joke about that!
    Preston: They have the tenth anniversary Paris Hilton sex tape "Paris falls for a space para-lesbian aboard the starship Tender-Thighs."
    Abe: Hey, she used my script!

## #36

    Abe: Worship my penis!

## #42

    Preston: Your mom's on the phone!
    Abe: No, your moms on the phone!

## #64

    Preston: Ok, is it daytime or nighttime right now?
    Short Taxi Driver: Uh, you mean right now?
    Preston: Goodbye.
    Short Taxi Driver: No, wait! Wouldn't you rather know what colour my floor mats are? Or what a dachsund smells like?

## #87

    Preston: For the last time, you're not a ninja. I know you're there.
    Preston:... You're just lying on the floor, Abe.
    Abe: Shit!

## #89

    Woman: I hope tonight's Sex And The City is the one where Carrie obesseses over shoes! And men!
    Man: I have white headphones. Please rob me.
    Man in orange shirt: I am wearing a bright orange shirt. I am not from here.
    Abe: I. Am. I-ron man. Da-nanananananana...

## #90

    Preston: Uh, I think you should download a different ringtone, Abe.
    Abe: Why? What's wrong with-
    Jesus: "Were!!" It's "What if god were one of us!!

## #91

    Abe: Smile!
    Preston: Wait, did I cloak? I think I cloaked on that one.
    Abe: Yeah, see, I just made my phone look like a ham sandwich!
    Preston: That's incredibly useful.
    Abe: Hey, a ham sandwich! I need to take a picture o' this!

## #93

    Preston: I can do 70 pushups with my penis!

## #96

    Preston: Thank y-- Hey! What the-- This is "Predator seeking Predator"!
What the hell is going on in this cover shot??

## #115

    Voice mail: I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that. Say 'clean' or 'soiled' underwear.
    Preston: GRRAAARRGGHH
    Voice mail: The rest of this menu will be presented in interpretative dance.

## #121

    Abe: Now I suppose you want some dating pointers.
    Preston: This'll be good.
    Abe: Girls like it when you use a fly swatter to give 'em a little swat on the cheek.
    Abe:Oh! You didn't think I meant butt cheek did you? That...that'd be be inappropriate.

## #121

    Preston: Man, even Jesus is groaning at your mom jokes now.
    Abe: To Jesus Okay, your mom-
    Jesus:--Is a well documented virgin. And?
    Jesus: Zing.

## #121

    Front page: JESUS: YOU'RE ALL BLOOD SUCKING CANNIBALS AND I HATE YOU

## External links

* The Official Site