# Futurama: Bender's Game

Bender's Game is a 2008 direct-to-DVD animated film based on the Futurama series.

## Fry

* When will young people learn that playing "Dungeons and Dragons" doesn't make you cool!
* [after arriving in Cornwood] Where the hell are we? Hell?
* [Climbing through chicken hatch] This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the chickens.
* Have you seen Bender? He's gone crazy! [Holding a carton] Also, smell this milk.
* All right, I may be weak and I may be small, but I don't see how I can possibly destroy that monster.
* There’s so many killbots behind us, I can’t count them all. Three, I think.
* That blade missed me by the skin of my pants. [A shot of Fry’s behind reveals his pants ripped.]

## Bender

* Hey that punk stole our hood ornament! Now no one will know we have the LX Package!
* [after the ship starts again] There's gas in our ass!
* I know not of this "Bender"! I am Titanius Anglesmith, Fancy Man of Cornwood!
* Finally, we made it out of that godforsaken cave! So what's the fastest way home, back through the cave?
* Methinks we be boned.

## Others

* Igner: [repeated line] We're owl exterminators.
* Leegola: Onward brave cowards!
* George Takei: [at the Space Demolition Derby] Way to kill the franchise, Bakula!
* Dr. Perceptron: [Bender is in a group therapy session involving being hit in the head by hammers] Now Stop! Hammertime!
* Roberto: [Repeated line] BOOKALEEMOOKALEE!
* Rosie the Robot Maid: Everything must be clean. Very clean. That's why the dog had to die. He was a dirty dog. Dirty. Dirty. Also that boy Elroy. Dirty. Dirty.
* The Swamp Hag: [repeated line] Get out of my swamp, you kids!
* Titanius: Me thinks we be boned.
* Roberto: You're not made of Tuesday!
* Professor: There's just one small problem, and it's a big one.
* Greyfarn: Fear not Titanius for we still have one hope, the Cave of Hopelessness!
* Professor: Everybody out of the conference room! I'm calling a conference! [to all, in an adjacent room] Everybody get in here!
* Roberto: I was built by a team of scientists, trying to create an insane robot...but it looks like they failed!
* Scary Door Announcer: In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
* Morcs: [chanting] Eat the wizard, eat the slut, eat the robot's shiny butt!
* Greyfarn: Alas, Frydo's weakness was no match for the dices power.
* Hermaphrodite: Your friends soon face certain death, followed by a disrespectful marionette show performed with their corpses.

## Dialogue

    Dr. Perceptron: I was in your seat, I forgot that we had changed places
    Mad Hatterbot: CHANGE PLACES?
    Bender: Watcha doin', mini-meatbags? Underage gambling? Shame on you. Count me in! [puts money on desk]
    Dwight: We're not gambling, we're playing "Dungeons and Dragons!"
    Morcs (Singing): Eat the wizard, Eat the Slut, Eat the Robot Shiny butt.
    Gynecaladriel (Amy): Well at least we'll be remember by song.
    Titanius (Bender): Wait a second, I have an idea. [seizes his comrades] I surrender! Here, eat my friends! Just give me one more second of sweet, sweet life!
    Dragon Fry: So it comes down to this, a dungeon, and dragons!
    Zoidberg: I didn't see it coming.
    Titanius Anglesmith: [to Roberto as king of Wipecastle] Oh great king, your army is the last hope of Cornwood. Let us join forces, before the light of good is extinguished forever!
    Roberto: You calling me crazy!? Just coz I got a hotel in my foot don't make me a BOOGALEE-MOOGALEE-MOOGALEE!!
    Titanius: Pardon?
    Roberto: [draws sword] Stop laughing at me, flyin' avocado! [shrieking while stabbing]
    Titanius: [after talking with king of wipe castle] Okay, since I'm the only robot here who isn't [makes crazy noises with his finger on his mouth], I declare myself leader of the royal army!
    Guard 1: What royal army might that be?
    Titanius: Huh?
    Guard 2: When the king went insane, he declared war on scallops, so he tied the army to a boat and sent them out to sea. They were never seen again!
    Guard 1: Scallops musta got em.
    Fry: Hey Professor can I ask you something about Bender?
    Professor: Of course Fry, show me where on this anatomically correct doll where he touched you.
    [Fry and Leela end up on a fantasy planet and Leela comes out as a centaur ]
    Leegola [Leela]: Oh, Lord, I'm half-horse and half-naked.
    Leegola: What else can we slay? Is that a Hobbit over there?
    Titanius [Bender]: No, that's a hobo and a rabbit, but they're making a hobbit.
    Frydo [Fry]: So this land is real?
    Greyfarn [Professor]: Oh, dreadfully real. If you die here you'll really be dead. But instead of science we believe in crazy hocus pocus. It's sort of like Kansas.
    Leegola: God help us.
    [As the professor recognizes Mom's sons]
    Professor: Walt, the leader among imbeciles!
    Walt: Hey, they resent that!
    Professor: Larry, the sniveling middle child.
    Larry: [nervously] Sorry. Thank you.
    Professor: And you, Igner. The evil I can tolerate. But the stupidity.
    Igner: We're owl exterminators.
    Professor: Good God! Just knowing we're in the same genus makes me embarrassed to call myself homo! [children laugh]
    [Greyfarn (Professor Farnsworth) and Ignus (Igner) are dueling with lightsabers]
    Ignus: Mommy never told you about my father.
    Greyfarn: She said he was a foul He-demon.
    Ignus: Exactly. You are my father.
    Greyfarn: No. No, that's impossible.
    Ignus: Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
    Greyfarn: No, no!
    Ignus: Yah-hah. I heard Mommy say so.
    Dr. Perceptron: I will now delicately jerk out your imagination, severing fantasy's grip on your nerd-circuit.
    [the dark matter resonance appears and Bender begins to fade into nothingness]
    Bender: [as he disappears] Coooooornwooooooooooooood!
    Dr. Perceptron: Illogical. Illogical. Computational overload.
    Nurse Ratchet: But doctor, I love you.
    [Dr. Perceptron smashes his own head]
    Computer Voice: (alarm sound) Warning. Out of dark matter fuel.
    Leela: That's not a warning! A warning's supposed come before something bad happens.
    Computer Voice: (alarm sound) Warning. Engines will shut down in one second.
    Leela: That's more like it.
    Professor: Who did this? Answer now or be punished.
    Leela: Fine, I admit it. It was me.
    Professor: You will be punished!
    Zoidberg: Amy, cancel my appointments.
    Amy: [on intercom] Stop calling me!
    Hermes: As a result of these losses, we will no longer be providing complimentary porno mags in the lobby.
    Scruffy: Durnit.
    Walt: How was the interview, mother?
    Mom: It made me want to puke my face off!

## See also

* Futurama
* Futurama: Bender's Big Score
* Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs
* Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder

## External links

* Bender's Game quotes at the Internet Movie Database