# A Mighty Wind

A Mighty Wind is a 2003 mockumentary about a folk music reunion concert and the three bands involved. It was co-written and directed by Christopher Guest.
    Directed by Christopher Guest. Written by Christopher Guest and Eugene Levy.

## Mitch Cohen

* Seeing these long lines of fans who want nothing more than to have you sign an autograph, it's like it's 1968... Or '67... Or '66.
* You know, 35 years ago, preparing for a concert meant playing "find the cobra" with the hotel chambermaid.
* I feel ready for whatever the experience is that we will... take with us after the show. I'm sure it will be... an adventure... a voyage on this... magnificent vessel... into unchartered waters! What if we see sailfish... jumping... and flying across the magnificent orb of a setting sun?

## Mickey Crabbe

* Why didn't somebody follow him? Is there a cockfight arena near here?
* Then there's the kids - we're hearing: "You rock... you rock me... you rock my world!" What?
[No one can find Mitch]
* He could be lying face down in a ditch! Wouldn't be the first time!

## Jonathan Steinbloom

* (referring to his mother) You could say she was overly protective - I just like to think she cared about me, which she did, a lot. And I was a member of the chess team and whenever we would have chess tournaments I had to wear a protective helmet, I had to wear a football helmet. Now who knows what she was thinking? Maybe she thought that we might have fallen maybe and impaled our heads on a pointy bishop or something, I don't know.
* Before we begin tonight's performance I would like to make a brief announcement. I'd like to warn you that some of the floral arrangements at tonight's performance have dangerously low hanging vines and may be poisonous. So please, whatever you do, don't eat 'em and don't become entangled in them or trip, please.

## Laurie Bohner

* We are Winc. W-I-N-C. Witches In Nature's Colors
* Terry and I worship an unconventional deity. The power of another dimension. Now you are not going to read about this dimension in a book or a magazine because it exists nowhere... but in my own mind. Through our ceremonies and rituals we have witnessed the awesome and vibratory power... of color.
* I learned to play the ukulele in one of my last films, "Not-So-Tiny Tim".

## Terry Bohner

* There had been abuse in my family, but it was mostly musical in nature.
* This is not an occult science. This is not one of those crazy systems of divination and astrology. That stuff's hooey, and you've got to have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Our beliefs are fairly commonplace and simple to understand. Humankind is simply materialized color operating on the 49th vibration. You would make that conclusion walking down the street or going to the store.
* No, ladies and gentlemen, we don't ride around on broomsticks and wear pointy hats. Well, we don't ride on broomsticks.

## Mike Lafontaine

* As you know, back in nineteen seventy mrrphph, I starred on a series called "Wha' Happened?", and every time something would go wrong, I would look at the camera and say, "Hey, wha' happened?" We had a lot of fun with that and a lot of other catchphrases: "I've got a weal wed wagon!", and, uh, "I can't do my wuurrrk!" And I believe I was the first one to use the phrase, "I don't think so!" But it only lasted a year, and that's good, because that's how you establish a cult...
* I'd worked some bills with a few Folkies, you know, 'Put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him, put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him.' I used to say, 'if he's got a long enough hose, he's gonna make a lot of friends in the shower room.' Heh, heh, heh. Folk audiences hated that joke.
* To paraphrase an old joke... Knock, knock. Who's there? It's the New Main Street Singers!

## Other

    Amber Cole: [referring to her working relationship with Wally Fenton] We work together very well. It's almost as like we have one brain that we share between us.
    Mark Shubb: To do then now would be retro. To do then then was very now-tro, if you will.

## Dialogue

    Lawrence E. Turpin: Alright, here's your giant banjo...
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Um-hmm. It's very flat.
    Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, it doesn't look flat from in the audience.
    Jonathan Steinbloom: It has basically, no dimension to it.
    Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, it's painted to look three dimensional. If you go back there, trust me...
    Jonathan Steinbloom: But it's not painted on the back. I'm looking ot the back right now. Will you look with me for a minute?
    Lawrence E. Turpin: Why would it be... From the audience it's gonna look perfectly fine. And It looks three dimensional. Just go out there and take a peek.
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Well, is this the real furniture or is this the rehearsal furniture?
    Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, A it's not called furniture. It's a set.
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Uh-huhh...
    Lawrence E. Turpin: And it's painted this way. It looks completely three dimensional from the audience, if you just go out that way, Mr. Steinbloom.
    Jonathan Steinbloom: So this is the real furniture, and this is... Is this an actual street lamp?
    Lawrence E. Turpin: I'm sure it was at one time.
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Can you have an actual three dimensional object that's represents the thing that it actually is, can that be next to something that it's pretending to be? Would that be okay?
    Lawrence E. Turpin: Yes, it's perfectly fine. You know, I really don't have time to explain Stagecraft 101. This show starts in an hour. Now, every... everything is exactly the way you...
    Jonathan Steinbloom: And what are tho... what's tha... that... Those are lights hanging up there?
    Lawrence E. Turpin: Yes, those are lights...
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Could they fall?
    Lawrence E. Turpin: ...and that's a ceiling above us!
    Jonathan Steinbloom: But they look shaky.
    Lawrence E. Turpin: No, they're not shaky, they're perfectly...
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Is that wire? I see a wire. I see a...
    [Lawrence smacks him on the head]
    Jonathan Steinbloom: Oww!
    Leonard Crabbe: I'm a model train enthusiast.
    Amber Cole: Oh! That's great!
    [chuckles]
    Leonard Crabbe: Yes... sort of a whole layout in my basement. Very much a big passion for me, 'tis.
    Amber Cole: Yeah. Thank God for model trains.
    Leonard Crabbe: Oh, absolutely.
    Amber Cole: You know, if they didn't have the model train, they wouldn't have gotten the idea for the big trains.
    Leonard Crabbe: [Leonard shows Mitch his model trains] This whole area here is called Crabbe Town. We've got a brothel down there above the saloon. And right down there further along I'm thinking of building a French Quarter. I've actually got a bit of French blood.
    Mitch Cohen: I would love to see this town in the autumn. I think Crabbeville in autumn would look quite magnificent. I would have made tiny little leaves, oak, poplar, maple, chestnut, and spread them across the town of Crabbe...ville. Magnificent.
    Leonard Crabbe: It's Crabbe Town, not Crabbeville.
    [Members of "The Folksmen" are talking about their first record]
    Alan Barrows: And they had no hole in the center of the record.
    Mark Shubb: It would teeter crazily on the little spindle.
    Jerry Palter: No, you had to provide it yourself. They were still good records. Good product.
    Mark Shubb: If you punched a hole in them, you'd have a good time.
    Jerry Palter: Things have been going really well. We got some gigs here, working at the casinos. It has been a time of changes, but change is good. Change is life.
    [camera pulls out to reveal Mark Shubb dressed as a woman]
    Mark Shubb: It was like a great big door opening for me... Town Hall... after that concert, I realized I wanted to spend as much of the rest of my life as possible playing folk music with these gentlemen...
    Jerry Palter: Right back atcha.
    Mark Shubb: ...and I wanted to spend all of it as a woman. I came to a realization that I was - and am - a blonde, female folk singer trapped in the body of a bald, male folk singer and I had to LET ME OUT or I WOULD DIE.
    Jerry Palter: When you put it that way, it's almost poetry.
    Alan Barrows: Almost.

## Cast

* Eugene Levy - Mitch Cohen
* Catherine O'Hara - Mickey Crabbe
* Bob Balaban - Jonathan Steinbloom
* Harry Shearer - Mark Shubb

## External links

* Best in Show quotes at the Internet Movie Database