# Monkey Business (1931 film)

Monkey Business is a 1931 film about four stowaways who get mixed up with gangsters on an ocean liner.
    Directed by Norman Z. McLeod. Written by S. J. Perelman.

## Groucho

* Afraid? Me? A man who's licked his weight in wild caterpillars? Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
* Sir, are you trying to offer me a bribe? How much?
* With a little study you'll go a long way. And I wish you'd start now.
* [Posing as a reporter] Is it true you're getting a divorce as soon as your husband recovers his eyesight? Is it true you wash your hair in clam broth? Is it true you used to dance in a flea circus?
* Ladies and Gentlemen, I wish to announce that a buffet supper will be served in the next room in five minutes. In order to get you into that room quickly, Mrs.Smallhausen will sing a soprano solo in THIS room!

## Dialogue

    Waiter: Would you like to have anything before lunch?
    Chico: Yes, breakfast.
    Manicurist: Would you like your nails trimmed long?
    Chico: Oh, about an hour and a half. I got nothing to do. [Pause] Believe me, you some nice gal. You got 'It'.
    Manicurist: Why, thank you!
    Chico: And you can KEEP 'it'.
    Groucho: Madam, before I get through with you, you will have a clear case for divorce, and so will my wife. Now, the first thing to do is to arrange for a settlement. You take the children, your husband takes the house, Junior burns down the house, you take the insurance, and I take you.
    Lucille: But I haven't any children.
    Groucho: That's just the trouble with this country. You haven't any children, and as for me, I'm going back in the closet where men are empty overcoats.
    Alky Briggs: Didn't I give you a couple of gats?
    Groucho: I'm sorry, we had to drown the gats. But we saved you a little black gitten.
    Cab Driver at Barn: That'll be $1.10.
    Groucho: Here's a dollar, keep the change.
    Cab Driver at Barn': But I said a dollar "ten"!
    Groucho: All right, give me the dollar, I'll keep the change.
    Chico: We're great, huh?
    Joe Helton: You're great.
    Chico: My partner?
    Joe Helton: He's great.
    Chico: My grandfather's great. He's a great-grandfather.
    Woman Passenger: Where's the Doctor? A doctor! I want a doctor!
    Chico: Sit. Stay calm. We take care of you. Oh, she's got a chill. Cover her up.
    [Harpo sits on her]
    Chico: No, no, no, no. Get up. Get up. Take her pulse. Take her pulse.
    [Harpo takes her purse]
    Chico: No purse! Put it back. Pulse. I think you best take a temperature. That's good. Alright, we take care of you, lady. Alright. Alright. Alright.
    Woman Passenger: Oh, you fools! I'm not the patient!
    Chico: Well, we're not the doctor
    Middle-aged woman: I'm not happy with my husband. He should have married some little housewife.
    Groucho: Madam, I resent that. Some of my best friends are housewives!
    Groucho: Hey, have you got a girl up in that hayloft?
    Hoodlum: NO!
    Groucho: Then you're a bigger fool than I thought you were.
    Hoodlum: Beat it, I say!
    Groucho: Pardon me, what did you say?
    Hoodlum: I said "BEAT IT!"
    [tries to drop a hay bale on Groucho.]
    Groucho: He said "Beat It". Gee, I wish I'd said that. Everybody's repeating it around the club.
    Groucho: I don't know. When I woke up, there was the nurse taking care of me.
    Chico: Couldn't the nurse take care of herself?
    Groucho: You bet she could. But I found that out too late!

## Taglines

* You roared at them in The Cocoanuts. You laughed your heard off at Animal Crackers. Now see the famous frenzied foursome in their merriest, maddest farce Monkey Business. The whole family will enjoy it.
* The Four Marx Brothers in their newest, funniest laugh-lark.

## Cast

* Groucho Marx — Groucho
* Harpo Marx — Harpo
* Chico Marx — Chico
* Zeppo Marx — Zeppo
* Rockliffe Fellowes — J.J. 'Big Joe' Helton
* Harry Woods — Alky Briggs
* Thelma Todd — Lucille Briggs

## External links

* Monkey Business quotes at the Internet Movie Database