# Bill Allred

Bill Allred is one of the three hosts on Salt Lake City's Radio From Hell show.

## Sourced

* Don't you know who I am?
** Daily Sign-off
* I'm Bill Allred, Painter of Light.
** Former Sign-off
* KSL is the Zoloft of the evening news.
** Radio From Hell (June 8, 2005)
* You had your thumb up your butt and your mind was in Arizona
** Radio From Hell (June 8, 2005)
* You’re large but not in charge.
** Radio From Hell (June 22, 2005)
* What do you mean I can’t sleep with this hooker in the basement?
** Radio From Hell (June 23, 2005)
* If it had been a pain in the ass, you wouldn’t be pregnant now.
** Radio From Hell (July 6, 2005)
* Thanks, Tonto, for your help.
** Radio From Hell (July 7, 2005)
* Prince Albert can't keep it in the can.
** Radio From Hell (July 12, 2005)
* I used to eat Gina's curd.
** Radio From Hell (July 19, 2005)
* I don’t have a fetus.
** Radio From Hell (August 1, 2005)
* It's folks what juggle fire.
** Radio From Hell (August 11, 2005)
* I've had other kinds of spurts, but 'growth' was not one of them.
** Radio From Hell (August 24, 2005)
* Tell me that Billy Joe Armstrong doesn’t look like a fruit.
** Radio From Hell (August 29, 2005)
* This baby will be born with a drinking problem.
** Radio From Hell (September 6, 2005)
* They might have been all up in your pregnancy!
** Radio From Hell (September 13, 2005)
* We used to make condoms out of snow tires.
** Radio From Hell (September 22, 2005)
* You dumb bitch! I have scissors for hands!
** Radio From Hell (September 29, 2005)
* Radio From Hell: A great alternative to toilet paper.
** Radio From Hell (October 3, 2005)
* Look at the size of that earlobe.
** Radio From Hell (October 3, 2005)
* I am filled to the brim with the goodness of me.
** Radio From Hell (October 6, 2005)
* We'll have peanut butter crackers and juice and use the bidet!
** Radio From Hell (October 11, 2005)
* Buttle me Boris!
** Radio From Hell (November 14, 2005)
* My gaydar has gone haywire.
** Radio From Hell (November 14, 2005)
* They're from the guy who snipped my nuts.
** Radio From Hell (November 17, 2005)
* Being in love means never having to say 'giddy-up.'
** Radio From Hell (January 12, 2006)
* I've got a powerful thirst for some of that lactation.
** Radio From Hell (January 13, 2006)
* They're 'fun bags' not 'feed bags!'
** Radio From Hell (January 13, 2006)
* He's living 'La Vida Wee-Wee'.
** Radio From Hell (January 16, 2006)
* Eat your way to safety!
** Radio From Hell (February 3, 2006)
* Is that about farting zombies?
** Radio From Hell (February 8, 2006)
* I don't believe the government has a knobby.
** Radio From Hell (March 9, 2006)
* We're nothing but common whores.
** Radio From Hell (March 10, 2006)
* It's not easy being a bivalve in today's modern world.
** Radio From Hell (March 21, 2006)
* I'm talking from my muff.
** Radio From Hell (March 23, 2006)
* How long are you supposed to leave your Karl Malone tree up?
** Radio From Hell (March 24, 2006)
* The 'jugastuff' had a baby this spring.
** Radio From Hell (March 27, 2006)
* A rich compost of turkey manure and wood shavings.
** Radio From Hell (April 12, 2006)
* Honey? Traffic's kinda busy and you're naked. Honey!?
** Radio From Hell (April 14, 2006)
* I don't care. I'm Mr. Buttons.
** Radio From Hell (April 17, 2006)
* It's fun to watch butter on the hoof.
** Radio From Hell (April 19, 2006)
* Do what is right let the booty follow.
** Radio From Hell (April 21, 2006)
* Our show curdles milk.
** Radio From Hell (April 24, 2006)
* You can't trust midgets, particularly gay-loving midgets.
** Radio From Hell (May 30, 2006)
* You know who Carrot-Top should be married to in a movie? Gallagher.
** Radio From Hell (May 30, 2006)
* Jesus is a place-kicker and he's gonna kick you through the goal-posts of life.
** Radio From Hell (June 6, 2006)
* There is no way you could sit down more than you do.
** Radio From Hell (June 7, 2006)
* Growing up with the runs.
** Radio From Hell (June 12, 2006)
* I think I just got horny.
** Radio From Hell (June 19, 2006)
* What do you mean you washed my three-piece hemp suit in the laundry?
** Radio From Hell (June 22, 2006)
* That's her psychic cock waking her up.
** Radio From Hell (July 14, 2006)
* Don't look at me weird. I'm sandwich crazy.
** Radio From Hell (July 18, 2006)
* Nothing cleans my palette like a polka.
** Radio From Hell (August 22, 2006)
* I'm telling you, back in those Wendover days, it wasn't that hard to get it out of me.
** Radio From Hell (August 31, 2006)
* Mmmmmm......assey.
** Radio From Hell (September 7, 2006)
* It's only due to modern technology that you can be as pleasingly plump as you are.
** Radio From Hell (September 8, 2006)
* Since my mother shaved her Hitler mustache, we look nothing alike.
** Radio From Hell (September 12, 2006)
* Nothing will wilt spinach like an Egyptian fart.
** Radio From Hell (September 14, 2006)
* Let's go stomp those weirdies for Jesus!
** X96 Big-Ass Show 2006
* Wouldn't you like a nose like his full of quarters?
** Radio From Hell (November 7, 2006)
* I'm not a bottom poker and I never have been.
** Radio From Hell (October 13, 2006)
* I've got a woolly worm for ya!
** Radio From Hell (October 24, 2006)
* There isn't anything on you, body or brain, that thinks.
** Radio From Hell (October 31, 2006)
* I'm gonna go home and spank the clown.
** Radio From Hell (October 31, 2006)
* People who read my magazine wax their turtles all the time. - as Larry Flynt
** Radio From Hell (November 1, 2006)
* You treat your food like a scab.
** Radio From Hell (November 6, 2006)
* Apparently they have The Clap at The Planetarium.
** Radio From Hell (November 15, 2006)
* My prostate thanks the car wash.
** Radio From Hell (November 15, 2006)
* I always thought Steve Guttenberg had crabs.
** Radio From Hell (November 28, 2006)
* I saw a picture of Lou Reed and David Bowie standing together and it looked like an AD for jerky.
** Radio From Hell (December 4, 2006)
* Her and her colostomy bag look forward to spending the holidays together.
** Radio From Hell (December 6, 2006)
* The juice is guilt.
** Radio From Hell (January 4, 2007)
* I'm afraid of passing out in the pit.
** Radio From Hell (January 4, 2007)
* You make my ass hurt!
** Radio From Hell (January 9, 2007)
* Don't you know who I am!? I'm Chetwar Balabafoo!
** Radio From Hell (January 23, 2007)
* I'm telling you, some of them gizzards are good!
** Radio From Hell (January 29, 2007)
* I wasn't prepared for what Dora was explorin'.
** Radio From Hell (January 31, 2007)
* Life is like a bowl of old bread.
** Radio From Hell (February 6, 2007)
* I always say, "Don't let your meat loaf."
** Radio From Hell (February 6, 2007)
* You know, that's the first time I've ever been able to smell a website.
** Radio From Hell (February 6, 2007) - referring to Kip Winger's website
* I gotta go pinch off a norbit.
** Radio From Hell (February 8, 2007)
* Barbaro dog food is dog-gone good.
** Radio From Hell (February 12, 2007)
* You're a quirky doctor aren't you? Good, because I have a sore quirky.
** Radio From Hell (March 15, 2007)
* Billy Dee Williams once had a one-night stand with Neil Simon.
** Radio From Hell (March 16, 2007)
* Hey, would you like a date? I have a hammer!?
** Radio From Hell (March 19, 2007)
* Words can hurt, you stupid bitch.
** Radio From Hell (March 28, 2007)
* If I'm gonna poke something into it, it's not going to be my finger.
** Radio From Hell (March 28, 2007)
* Take my prostate, please!
** Radio From Hell (April 5, 2007)
* I hope that holds the little bastards.
** Radio From Hell (April 5, 2007)
* I never cry over pie.
** Radio From Hell (April 18, 2007)
* She was no breath freshener, I can tell you that right now.
** Radio From Hell (April 20, 2007)
* I let the baby drink the butter.
** Radio From Hell (April 26, 2007)
* I'm gonna have to scrape off my Dick Trickle sticker.
** Radio From Hell (May 1, 2007)
* You clutched my personal hair and ripped it out by the roots.
** Radio From Hell (May 11, 2007)
* I used to wear food briefs. They were crumby.
** Radio From Hell (May 16, 2007)
* I like cock.
** Radio From Hell (May 21, 2007) - Referring to the terminology for a male chicken
* Hello!? Stop by for coitus!
** Radio From Hell (May 22, 2007)
* Hey, Dad, I'm going to reassemble this magpie carcass.
** Radio From Hell (June 11, 2007)
* I'm too hot to mate.
** Radio From Hell (June 15, 2007)
* You haven't tasted my mouth! God!
** Radio From Hell (July 23, 2007)
* I like boob-sweat. I have some right now.
** Radio From Hell (August 1, 2007)
* I'm telling you, if there were balls to be held, I held them.
** Radio From Hell (August 7, 2007)
* I can't run naked; I'm always tripping.
** Radio From Hell (August 14, 2007)
* I could do that if they were on my butt-cheeks.
** Radio From Hell (August 31, 2007)