# A Muppet Family Christmas

A Muppet Family Christmas is a 1987 Christmas television special starring the Muppets. It features four of the major Muppet franchises as a crossover: Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock and Muppet Babies.

## Dialogue

    Doc: Excuse me, Ms. Bear. Remember me? I rented this place to have a nice quiet Christmas.
    Andy: Peace on Earth. Give me presents!
[Sprocket barks at Andy]
    Doc: Be careful, Sprocket. These could be from some foreign planet.
    Emily Bear: Actually, they're from television. I recognize Fozzie's weirdo friends.
    Dr. Teeth: Yeah, and we're proud of it, too!
    Sam the Eagle: Why am I here?
    Doc: [to Sprocket]: Tell me Spocket: are these anything like those Fraggles that you keep on telling me?
[Christmas Turkey is flirting with Camilla]
    Turkey: I take it chicken little, you're my kind of poultry
    Gonzo: Camilla! What is going on here?
    Turkey: You got some fine drumsticks there my fine feathered mama.
    Gonzo: But Camilla's MY girlfriend!
    Turkey: You've gotta be kidding. You're not even a bird!
    Gonzo: Well, nobody's perfect.
[The Sesame Street gang is singing Deck the Halls]
    Ernie: See the blazing yule before us.
    All: Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
    Bert: Strike the harp and join the chorus.
    All: Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
    Oscar the Grouch: I will NOT sing this song!
    All: Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
    Ernie: Oh, hi there. Hey, we're Ernie and Bert.
    Doc: Well, hi there yourself, I'm Doc.
    Bert: Did you know that Doc starts with the letter "D"?
    Doc: Why, yes.
    Ernie: Yes! Yes starts with the letter "Y".
    Doc: True.
    Ernie: And true starts with the letter "T".
    Doc: Hey, what is this?
    Bert: Where we come from, this is small talk.
    Emily Bear: Alright, the huge canary sleeps in the attic with the cookie-eater. The blue monster said he'll sleep in the bathtub. And Ernie and Bert will bunk out with the lizard here.
    Kermit the Frog: Frog. Kermit the Frog.
    Fozzie Bear: What about Oscar?
    Oscar the Grouch: No, I'll be nicely miserable in my trash can here.
    Rizzo the Rat: Hey, maybe I could bunk out with you?
    Oscar the Grouch: I never had a rat in my trash can before.
    Janice: Hey, everybody, look what I've got: Christmas cookies!
    Cookie Monster: COOKIE! [gobbles up the whole basket] Oh, thank you!
    Janice: Who was that strange blue creature?
    Andy: That my kind of fella!
    Ernie: Hey, everybody, it's time for our Sesame Street pageant. It's called 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. Come on out Bert.
    Bert: I won't
    Ernie: Come on, Bert.
    Bert: Ernie, please don't make me
    Ernie: Bert, listen, everyone's waiting.
[Bert comes out dressed as MaMa]
    Bert: Ernie, why must you always humiliate me?
    Ernie: Come one, Bert. Somebody has to play MaMa, and you lost the toss.
[The 'Twas the Night Before Christmas play continues]
    Ernie: "...I sprang from my bed to see what's the matter" ... Open the curtain!
[The curtain opens to reveal various Sesame Street monsters playing the reindeer]
    Bert: Monsters as reindeer? This is crazy! And where's Santa Claus?
    Ernie: Don't worry Bert. We're getting to him. [returning back to read the story] "With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick."
[The Two-Headed Monster appears, with each head wearing a white beard]
    Sam the Eagle: Is nothing sacred?
    Bert: Now what a minute. Who let the Two-Headed Monster be Santa Claus?
    Ernie: But Bert, he said he never been in a play before ... I mean they said it ... both of them said it.
    Doc: Boy, that storm is getting worse.
    Kermit the Frog: I hope Miss Piggy is ok.
    Doc: There is one worried frog.
    Count von Count: That's one! One worried frog!
    Robin: He's not the only one.
    Count von Count: That two! Two worried frogs!
    Doc: [to Spocket after the Count leaves] Search me, more small talk I think.
    Kermit the Frog: We just came down here to wish you all a Merry Christmas.
    Wembley Fraggle: What's Christmas?
    Robin: Don't you have Christmas?
    Red Fraggle: No.
    Robin: Well, that's when you gather together with the people you love, and you wish each other peace on earth.
    Red Fraggle: We have a time like that.
    Mokey Fraggle: Yes, we do. As a matter of fact we're celebrating it right now. We give each other little presents. I'm giving Boober this nice shiny pebble.
    Red Fraggle: And I gave Mokey that pebble last year.
    Wembley Fraggle: And I gave it to Red that year before that.
    Boober Fraggle: And I gave it to you, Wembley, the year before that.
    Gobo Fraggle: That pebble has been a gift 37 times.
    Robin: And speaking of presents, Grover, I'd like you to have this Fraggle pebble.
    Grover: This Fraggle pebble here is for me? Oh, I just love Christmas!

## External links

* A Muppet Family Christmas quotes at the Internet Movie Database