# Joe Somebody

Joe Somebody is a 2001 American comedy-drama film written by John Scott Shepherd and directed by John Pasquin. The film stars Tim Allen as a man stirred into action by a workplace bully. The film also stars Julie Bowen, Kelly Lynch, Greg Germann, Hayden Panettiere, Patrick Warburton and Jim Belushi.

## Dialogue

    [after getting hit by trainer]
    Joe: Did people ever come back here?
    Meg: You're having a panic attack, do you know what that means?
    Joe: It sounds pretty self-explanatory.
    Joe: You talking to me?
    Joe: Did you have fun?
    Natalie: Weekend from hell. They took me to another silly-ass hippie restaurant.
    Natalie: With thee most absurd one-man play ever produced!
    Joe: "Silly-ass"?
    Natalie: Dad...
    Natalie: [on the phone with Joe] Dad, just tell me something. Is it you don't want to see me? Or is it you don't want me to see you?
    Joe: Yes... Yes to the second one.
    Natalie: [crying] DAD, just please let me come over. Just for a little while...
    Joe: It's okay. Everything's all right. I'm just sitting here drowning my sorrows in a - a quart of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey.
    Chuck: Too bad. I was really hoping to give a shit.
    Joe: Can you show me some of that Crouching Dragon, Hidden Tiger stuff?
    Natalie: Everything on the menu was made with curd. Curd this, curd that. I MEAN, I ordered a hamburger and I got a 10-minute lecture on animal rights from the waitress. AND the guy in the play was half-naked!
    Joe: WHAT? Which half?
    Joe: You became a farmer?
    Rick: No, Joe. I'm an actor dressed as a farmer... for an audition.
    Joe: Sorry.
    Callie: We had a great weekend. Did she tell you about the play?
    Joe: Yeah. The actors were naked.
    Natalie: So were the ushers.
    Callie: They were not!
    Joe: Callie, Beauty and the Beast is in town. What's the matter with that?
    Natalie: [gets out of the car after Joe gets punched by Mark] LEAVE HIM ALONE, DIRTBAG!
    Joe: Don't call anybody a dirtbag.
    Natalie: Daddy, are you okay? You're bleeding.
    Joe: I'm good. I just tripped! I'm okay. Let's go...
    Natalie: Why do I have to spend weekends with them? Can't we just drive by every Saturday and wave?
    Joe: Your mom's a little eccentric. Think of her as an exotic flower.
    Natalie: And that made you what? Dirt?
    Joe: NAT, she's your mom.
    Natalie: HEY, that guy is an ass-wipe!
    Joe: NATALIE...
    Natalie: Sorry, I meant "ass-guy".
    Joe: That's Mark McKinney! He's a 7-year employee. W-what's he doing in the 10-year lot?
    Natalie: Maybe he's going to stand around for another 3 years.

## Taglines

* A Comedy About Somebody Everybody Can Believe In.
* someone just picked on the wrong nobody.
* Knockout fun for the whole family!

## Cast

* Tim Allen - Joe Scheffer
* Julie Bowen - Meg Harper
* Kelly Lynch - Callie Scheffer
* Greg Germann - Jeremy
* Hayden Panettiere - Natalie Scheffer
* Patrick Warburton - Mark McKinney
* Jim Belushi - Chuck Scarett
* Ken Marino - Rick Raglow
* Wolfgang Bodison - Cade Raymond
* Cristi Conaway - Abby Manheim
* Robert Joy - Pat Chilcutt
* Tina Lifford - Cassandra Taylor

## External links

* Joe Somebody quotes at the Internet Movie Database