# Escape From Planet Earth

Escape from Planet Earth is a 2013 computer-animated sci-fi adventure comedy film about two alien brothers named Scorch and Gary, who get locked up in Area 51 when Scorch answered a SOS from Earth what turned out to be a trap.
    Directed by Cal Brunker. Written by Brunker & Bob Barlen. Story by Tony Leech & Cory Edwards.

## Gary

* Time to watch your old man bring in the Supernova 9 for a landing.
* [hitting the bars with a coffee mug] You can't do this! I know my rights!
* [referring to Scorch] There's only 1 creature in the universe that snores that loud.
* Let's get outta here.
* [to Scorch, who is frozen] I don't know if you can hear me, but...I'm sorry. [sighs] My plan was to get you out of here, not end up frozen beside you. [valves open to release a purple fluid flooding the tube] I failed you. I failed my family. All the planning in the world doesn't amount to anything without a hero to make it happen. [liquid rises] I tried, brother! I'm sorry! [inhales deeply, temperature drops to 0] Scorch... [he is frozen]
* I thought I told you, we come in PEACE! [punches Shanker]

## Scorch

* [repeated line] Scorch me, baby!
* The Dark Planet. It's heroic, even for me. No-one has ever come back alive. [smiles for the camera]
* I saved millions of innocent aliens 'cause that's what heroes do. You failed at your evil plans 'cause that's what villains do. And this crumb got stuck on my face 'cause that's what crumbs do.
* Hey, Gary, check it out! The freezing wore off! [his arm gets frozen] AW, C'MON!!!

## Shanker

* Blubonium, 10000 times more powerful than atomic energy.
* You can whine till you're blue in the face, but I call the shots around here.
* My old friend, Halley's Comet. Not back for another 50 years. So...who's gonna miss it?
* Report to the Peace Shield on the double.
* [last lines] You're gonna pay for this.

## Thurman

* [repeated line] Pleased to meet you.
* [about Shanker] His quiet anger is even angrier than his loud one.
* Quiet! I need to concentrate. My 3rd eye, it's messing me up. I can't do it!
* [seeing the Blubonium pulsating] Uh, Gary, is that normal?
* That's Gary's planet!

## Doc

* There's only 1 way outta here: invent enough cool stuff and Shanker lets you go. That's how Area 51 works. [montage begins] He lures the smartest aliens from across the universe and throws us in jail. Take Thurman. He was a professor. Those 4 hands invented touchscreen technology. Or Io. She used to be a librarian. She got so mad lookin' stuff up for people that she invented the search engine. And most importantly, me. After my radio show got famous, I invented social networking. I've got 5 billion pending friend requests. That's how Shanker bankrolls this place: he rips off our technology and sells it to the world. He's got deals with everybody! Apple, Facebook, them Google guys. You think you could build this stuff? I don't think so. Who do you think invented the Internet? Cellphones? Computer animation? [montage ends] We did!
* Those are the Grays. No-one knows what Shanker's got on 'em, but they do his bidding. So don't get on their bad side, understand?
* We have lots of alien delicacies. Blorm, phrebbish, zumft, diet zumft, free-range zumft, non-dairy gluten-free zumft, and if you're looking for somethin' a bit more refined, we got fresh plarbe.
* Ooh... I told these guys "You'd better not food fight!", but they did. [Shanker glares at him] I'mma sweep this up.
* Ahem! Excuse me, sir. [Shanker turns around] Sorry to interrupt. [nervously approaches] Just wondering approximately what time you'll be sending us home.

## Io

* You can't beat the weather.
* [dancing] Get down with your bad self!
* What about the program? [Doc: Forget the program!] [Doc slaps her in the face] AH!
* [gasps in terror] INCOMING!!!

## Others

* Kip: Supernova 9, you are go for remote assistance!
* Lena: You were the one who wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. So why don't you stay at home and let me do my job?
* Plarbe: [during the food fight] People, people, where are your manners?

## Dialogue

    Gary: [referring to the "Dark Planet"] It's too risky to send Scorch out there. Please!
    Lena: Drop it, Gary. I'm warning you.
    Gary: I'm the mission controller! Does nobody here care what I think?
    Lena: No.
    Scorch: Not really.
    Barry: Nope.
    Gary: Then why am I even here?
    Lena: It'll be fine, Gary. He's done this 100 times.
    Gary: We've done this 100 times. We're a team. [to Scorch] I'm the brains and you're the brawn. That's what you always said.
    Scorch: I said it to make you feel better, little brother.
    Gary: [frustrated] Scorch, stop calling me that!
    Scorch: You've been trying to control me your whole life. Isn't that why you joined Mission Control? [slurps from a can of Dark Planet Cola]
    Gary: I'm looking out for you. That's what brothers do.
    Scorch: Oh please. You sit around here pushing buttons while I am out there risking my neck.
    Gary: Oh yeah? I'd like to see you do it without me.
    Scorch: Any time, any place, little brother.
    Gary: If you insist on going through with this idiotic macho stunt, you can count me out.
    Scorch: [confused] You're gonna quit? [jumps down in anger] Well, you can't quit! Y-You're FIRED!
    Gary: You can't fire me. Because I QUIT! [he walks away and the doors close behind him]
    Gary Kira, Kip's gone! Kip's gone!
    Kira: What?
    Gary: The rescue pod!
    Kira: [shocked; lets the plates drop] We gotta get to BASA before he does!
    Gary: Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
    Kira: We're using the rocket boots.
    Gary: Are you crazy? The gyroscope is off. The thrust mechanism is broken. They're not ready to fly.
    Kira: I've spent 15 years as a BASA test pilot. It's not rocket science.
    Gary: That's exactly what it is! They're rocket boots!
    Kira: [turns on the rocket boots] Gary, turn off your brain and hang on!
    [at a Drive In, a teenage couple are watching It Came from Outer Space]
    3D Movie Girl: Ugh! [takes 3D glasses off in exasperation] I thought this was supposed to be in 3D!
    3D Movie Guy: Shh! It is in 3D.
    [the rescue pod with Gary on board suddenly bursts through the screen. The Male Teen ducks as the Female Teen stands there impressed.]
    3D Movie Girl: Okay, that's better.
    [Shanker sets up for a "romantic" call with Lena]
    Lena: Hello, Shanky-panky.
    Shanker: Hello, my darling. You look ravishing.
    Lena: Oh, you always say that.
    Shanker: That's because it's true.
    Lena: Did you get my present?
    Shanker: Yes. [opens a cabinet and pulls out a Blubonium reactor] I did.
    Lena: So do you like it?
    Shanker: It's...okay.
    Lena: Pooky, what's wrong?
    Shanker: Nothing. It's fine. I just... I was expecting more.
    Lena: Well, that was just a sample. There's more coming, I promise. I'm bringing enough so we can rule the universe together.
    Shanker: Hurry, my love. [hangs up after Lena blows him a kiss]
    Io: Keep it down, I'm trying to get some shuteye!
    Gary: Oh! [laughs] I get it. Shuteye. You've got one eye.
    Io: Are you making fun of my one eye? [roars angrily as she shakes the bars back and forth]
    Gary: Scorch! Scorch, wake up!
    Scorch: [talking in his sleep] Space hero test today, didn't study...
    Gary: [takes off the sleep mask and finds cucumbers on his eyes] What the? [takes off the cucumbers and finds tomatoes] Needs a whole salad to sleep. [pokes off the tomatoes]
    Scorch: Ow! Huh? Gary? Hey, Gary! What are you dong here?
    Gary: I'm here to rescue you.
    Scorch: You're rescuing me? Ha! I'm still dreaming.
    Gary: [sighs] I come 15 light years out of my comfort zone to save you, and this is thanks I get from my own brother.
    Scorch: Try "ex-boss". I fired you.
    Gary: No, I quit. And your first mission without me, you wind up in jail.
    Scorch: And where did you end up? Jail! [Gary groans in annoyance]
    Doc: You 2 should make an appointment.
    Doc: This is the Peace Shield.
    Thurman: It's an asteroid gun.
    Gary: Oh, nothing says "peace" like a giant gun, huh?
    Doc: It's overkill, if you ask me. But it's America. They supersize everything.
    Gary: You guys built this thing?
    Doc: Took us almost 10 years. Now we're just waiting for 1 last piece: the power source! Then we can go back to our home planets.
    Io: Or sun.
    Doc: Or sun.
    Scorch: [confused] Seriously? You live on the sun?
    Io: Yep. You can't beat the weather.
    Doc: Oh, oh, oh! Even though you didn't work on it, you gotta sign the floor. [shows Gary a floor of signatures]
    Scorch: [grabs the marker] Anything for a fan. [tries to sign the floor, only to find the marker is either low on ink or empty]
    Gary: That's a lot of names. Where're all those guys.
    Doc: Shanker's been buildin' this thing for years. He probably let 'em go.
    [the door opens as 2 hazmat soldiers throw Gary in]
    Hazmat Soldier: Get in there, alien! [the door closes behind Gary]
    Doc: [fake laughs] You got some nerve walkin' in here after that stunt.
    Gary: I... [Io growls and walks to Gary about to punch him]
    Thurman: [referring to Scorch] Where's your brother?
    Gary: Shanker's got him.
    Thurman: Why'd he let you go?
    Gary: Because he thinks I can fix it.
    Thurman: [slithers up to him in anxiety] Can you fix it?
    Gary: Of course. I'm a BASA engineer.
    Thurman: Oh, thank goodness. [hugs Gary in relief]
    Gary: [wipes off Thurman's slime] But I don't think I should.
    Io: Say what?
    Gary: [clears throat] I fix it, we all go home, right?
    Doc: Exactly. What's wrong with that?
    Gary: [turns around quickly] Shanker ends up with the most powerful weapon on the universe.
    Thurman: So he's got a toy for shooting down asteroids. Big deal.
    Gary: You saw what it can do! Who knows what it'll blow up next? What if it's your planet?
    Thurman: Don't be paranoid, Gary. [embraces Gary] It happens to smart people all the time. You start thinking too much and it gets the best of you.
    Gary: [pulls himself out of Thurman's embrace] You guys actually trust Shanker?
    Doc: We're kinda low on options here, Gary.
    Thurman: What choice do we have?
    Gary: We refuse to fix it.
    Doc: Then what, stage a silent protest? C'mon, man!
    Io: You want us to be stuck in here forever?
    Gary: I don't know what to do, okay? Just lemme sit down for a second and THINK! [walks into his cell]
    Io: You mean, sit around and do nothing. [turns her back, Thurman sighs in resignation]
    Doc: [walks in] Well, we're gonna try to fix it. Are you comin' or not? [no response] You know what? We don't need you. C'mon, Thurman!
    Gary: Step away from the Blubonium.
    Doc: Ha-ha! My man! Thurman, you're fired.
    [Gary inspects the Blubonium]
    Io: [stops Gary suspiciously] You sure you know what you're doing?
    Gary: I scored a 12.0 on my Galactic Engineering exams. Do you know what that means?
    Doc: You had no friends in high school?
    Gary: It means in a galaxy filled with nerds, I'm their king.
    Hazmat Soldier: [holds Gary by the shoulders] This one is asking for you, sir.
    Shanker: Leave him with me. [the hazmat soldier drops Gary]
    Gary: [gets up, referring to Scorch] I'm here for my brother.
    Shanker: Ah, Gary, finally a team player.
    Gary: I did what you asked. I fixed the reactor.
    Shanker: And just in time. [turns on the monitor] Imagine how powerful I'll be with all this Blubonium.
    Gary: [confused] What? How did you...?
    Shanker: You call yourself intelligent life. [shocks Gary with his electrocution bracelet and laughs] These are fun! I could do that all day.
    Gary: Let us go! You got what you wanted!
    Shanker: Why let you go now only to hunt you down later?
    Gary: [shocked by Shanker's words] Hunt us down?! But we come in peace!
    Shanker: [slams on his desk] Nobody comes in peace! I was 6 years old when they took my father from me.
    [the scene zooms into Shanker's eye, thus beginning a flashback taking place in Roswell, 1947]
    Shanker's Dad: Think about this, champ. With that many stars out there, there just has to be intelligent life.
    Young Shanker: Golly! Can I have a look, Pops?
    Shanker's Dad: In a minute, son. What? What is that? [sees a UFO] Good gravy, it's a UFO!
    [the scene cuts to a trio of gray aliens complaining about the gas as their UFO falls down to Earth]
    Shanker's Dad: [laughs joyously] Son, you wouldn't believe it! This is the moment I've been waiting for my entire l--! [the UFO accidentally crushes him alive]
    Young Shanker: [picks up the telescope] NOOOOO...!
    [the flashback ends as the scene zooms out of Shanker's eye]
    Shanker: Before you join your brother, there's 1 last thing I'd like to show you. [he opens the cabinet, pulls out a wig, and wears it]
    Gary: [pause] Hey, don't ask, don't tell.
    Shanker: Not the hair, you idiot. [switches the monitor to Lena]
    Gary: [shocked] Lena!
    Lena: Ugh. Hello, Gary. [referring to Shanker] I see you've met my fiancé.
    Gary: "Fiancé"?
    Shanker: We met online. Get with the times, Gary.
    Lena: Your whole family's been meddling in my business. Time to say goodbye, Gary. [she switches [the monitor to reveal Kira and Kip imprisoned]
    Gary: [gasps in fear] Kip! Kira! [tries to convince Lena] Lena, please, he's using you. He's using all of us. [gets shocked by Shanker]
    Shanker: Okay. He's just jealous he couldn't have you. Ta-ta. [turns off the monitor] Ugh!
    Gary: How could you do this?
    Shanker: [referring to Lena] You think I'm actually in love with an alien? When she leaves your planet with my Blubonium, I'm gonna blow it up. [Gary sees a simulation on his laptop in terror, then he closes it] But Baab's just the beginning. I'm gonna wipe out the alien infestation one planet at a time. [2 hazmat soldiers walk in]
    Gary: If you destroy every planet with intelligent life, you'll have no stars left in the sky! [the hazmat soldiers grab his arms]
    Shanker: [lays back on his chair] My stargazing days are over.
    [after Io saved Gary and Scorch from the Snarkbeast]
    Gary: Io!
    Io: Oh, come on now. You saved us. We couldn't leave you behind. [tries to stand Scorch up]
    Doc: Us aliens gotta stick together.
    Scorch: [falls over and sees Doc] Hello, talking rat!
    Doc: Why you gotta disrespect me like that?
    Thurman: Gary! I could kiss your brain! Destabilizing the Blubonium was brilliant!
    Scorch: I taught him everything he knows.
    Kira: [comes out of hiding to find Lena crying] Turn the ship around.
    Lena: [stops crying and turns around] Kira? What are you doing here?
    Kira: Let's go home.
    Lena: [gets up and walks up to Kira] I bet it makes you happy to see me like this.
    Kira: No, of course not.
    Lena: How could I have been so stupid? [referring to Shanker] He used me!
    Kira: [puts her hand on Lena's shoulder] It's never too late to do the right thing.
    Lena: [grins evilly] You're just like Gary. So innocent, so naïve. [opens the hatch while holding tightly onto a seatbelt]
    Kira: [holds onto the bars] Please! Lena, help me! It doesn't have to be like this!
    Lena: You thought you could stop me, didn't you? Little Miss Housewife saves the day. [kicks Kira by the fingers]
    Kira: [grabs Lena by the leg] You've betrayed your people! You've betrayed your planet! And you're not fit to wear this uniform! [she rips off Lena's badge and closes the hatch, causing her and Lena to smack into it, with only Lena in pain] What? You think just 'cause a chick has kids she can't dish it out? Psh! [runs to the console] Computer, reset course to planet Baab.
    [the ship turns around and zooms back to Baab]
    [Gary and Scorch are falling from the sky]
    Scorch: I guess this is it.
    Gary: We were a good team!
    Scorch: [turns to Gary] You know, I always looked up to you.
    Gary: [turns to Scorch] You looked up to me?
    Scorch: I'm serious! Great wife, great kid. I always thought I could do that one day.
    Gary: You would've been a great dad.
    Scorch: [pause] Hey, uh, Gary?
    Gary: Yeah, brother? [they both link arms]
    Scorch: I'm sorry for firing you.
    Gary: Actually, I quit.
    [they hug as they fall to the ground until the Grays save them and Shanker]

## Taglines

* Earth's greatest secret's are about to break out!

## Cast

* Rob Corddry — Gary
* Brendan Fraser — Scorch
* Sarah Jessica Parker — Kira
* William Shatner — General Shanker
* Jessica Alba — Lena
* Jane Lynch — Io
* Craig Robinson — Doc
* George Lopez — Thurman
* Sofia Vergara — Gabby
* Steve Zahn — Hawk
* Chris Parnell — Hammer
* Jonathan Morgan Heit — Kip
* Ricky Gervais — Mr. James Bing