# Jack and Jill (2011 film)

Jack and Jill is a 2011 American comedy film about a family man whose ugly, annoying twin sister comes for a visit and soon becomes reluctant to leave.

## Jack Sadelstein

* [to Jill] Don't forget your sweat shadow.
* [apologizing to Jill] I'm sorry that you make everyone uncomfortable. I really am.

## Jill Sadelstein

* [to Jack] Why are you so afraid to admit that we are connected? Face it. We shared Mom's womb. We were womb-mates.

## Dialogue

    Jill: Oh, please! Tell me you don't feel this.
    [slaps herself]
    Jack: I didn't feel it. Maybe if you did it harder.
    [slaps harder]
    Jack: Little harder.
    [slaps a little more harder]
    Erin: No, Jill, stop it. He's kidding
    Jill: What?
    [Gary punches her, knocks her out of the chair]
    Otto: Donkey fight!
    Erin: Jill, are you okay?.
    Jill: Yeah, no, I'm fine. Gary, that was... He didn't 100% percent connect.
    Gary: Feel that, Daddy?
    Jack: I... I actually did feel something, there. Pride in my son.
    Jack: I can't believe this. This is insane, man! You gotta call him!
    Jill: Oh, cool your buns. You know I'm still hurting the whole Funbucket fiasco.
    Jack: No, but Pacino liked you! I swear to God, he really liked you!
    Jill: Oh, will you stop already? You know all he wants to do is play Twister with your sister.
    Al Pacino: Amongst this princely heap, if any here, by false intelligence... Hold me a foe if I unwittingly... or in my rage, committed aught that is hardly borne by any in this princely presence, I do reconcile myself to his friendly peace. 'Tis death to me to be at enmity, and desire all good men's love. Where were you, Popcorn?
    Jack: What do you mean? It's 5:30.
    Al Pacino:No, no, it's 9: 30 my time. I was waiting for you at 5:30.
    Jack: Oh, it's four hours the other way. I just... I got confused. I...
    Al Pacino: Okay, whatever, whatever, whatever. What's going on? How's she doing'?
    Jack: We're, uh, we're, uh, we're coming along. That's how we're doing.
    Al Pacino: Coming along? What does that mean, "coming along"? What does that mean?
    Crowd #1: Come on, wrap it up!
    Jack: It means we're getting there. We just need a little more time.
    Al Pacino: Put her on the phone. I want to hear her voice.
    Jack: Ah, she's not here right now.
    Jill: This reminds me of that boat movie with Leonardo.
    Erin: Titanic?
    Jill: No, the one with the iceberg.
    Al Pacino: Who is that?
    Jack: That was, uh, Poopsie.
    Al Pacino: Why won't you let me talk... Hey, can you... You got to be quiet. I can't hear him! All right? Please. Please! Yeah, listen, you get me this girl, or you don't get that Dunkaccino commercial, you understand? Don't you know me? Don't you know I would use all my power, all the power I have, to keep a commercial like that from happening'? Don't you know that?
    Crowd #1: Is he seriously breaking out The Godfather?
    Crowd #2: I swear to God, I'm going to cry.
    Al Pacino: Put her on! Put her on!
    Crowd #3: Pacino!
    Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Hang on for a second. I'll put her on. Hello'?
    Al Pacino: Jill, my darling, just to hear your voice. What are they doing? Why are they trying to keep us apart?
    Jack: Nobody's keeping me apart from anybody. I'm my own person. You remember that.
    Al Pacino: Oh, I know you're your own person. Nobody's like you.
    Stunt Guy: Uh... Would you like a little privacy? I could finish up for you.
    Al Pacino: No, no, it's okay. It's okay. Nobody wants to see you. But thanks, anyway. Jill. can you meet me when you dock in Spain'?
    Jack: But what about your Shakespeare show'? Don't you have that to do?
    Al Pacino: You kidding? This is L.A. They got Bruce Jenner playing Lord Rivers.
    Jack: Yeah, I don't think so.
    Al Pacino: Darling, put your brother on.
    Jack: Okay. Here he is. Hello. Jack's back.
    Al Pacino: Popcorn, we did it! We did it! I'm coming, I'm coming to get her!
    Jack: You're coming to get her? She just said, "I don't think so," I thought.
    Al Pacino: I can smell horny across an ocean. Here's how it's going to go down. 9PM tomorrow top deck, portside. I'll be there. Audience, could you tell me where I was?
    Crowd #4: But he, poor soul.
    Al Pacino: But he, poor soul, by your first order died.

## Cast

* Adam Sandler - Jack Sadelstein/Jill Sadelstein
* Al Pacino - himself
* Katie Holmes - Erin Sadelstein
* Eugenio Derbez - Felipe / Felipe's grandmother
* Tim Meadows - Ted
* Nick Swardson - Todd
* Allen Covert - Otto
* Elodie Tougne - Sofie Sadelstein
* Rohan Chand - Gary Sadelstein
* Geoff Pierson - Carter Simmons
* Valerie Mahaffey - Bitsy Simmons
* Gad Elmaleh - Xavier
* Gary Valentine - Dallas
* Kristin Davis - Delilah

## External links

* Jack and Jill quotes at the Internet Movie Database