# Romance

Romance is the pleasurable feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. In the context of romantic love relationships, romance usually implies an expression of one's love, or one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person. Historically, the term "romance" originates with the medieval ideal of chivalry as set out in its Romance literature.

## Quotes

* "I predict that Our Love shall yield incredible pleasure and perfect achievements. For True Love, improves Happiness." -- Inderjit Aurien, from Paper on Love (finished Valentine's Day 2018).
* ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, as a domestic horse to the hitching-post, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination -- free, lawless, immune to bit and rein.
** Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary (1911).
* Romances paint at full length people's wooings, But only give a bust of marriages: For no one cares for matrimonial cooings. There's nothing wrong in a connubial kiss. Think you, if Laura had been Petrarch's wife, He would have written sonnets all his life?
** Lord Byron, Don Juan (1818-24), Canto III, Stanza 8.
* Engaging in romantic relationships at work, especially with one’s superiors (i.e., hierarchical workplace romance; [HWR]), has generally been shown to negatively impact the participants involved. However, less attention has focused on its impact on the career advancement of lower status romance participants and when such an impact is exacerbated. Two experiments show that third-party evaluators were less likely to promote (Study 1) and select lower status HWR participants for training opportunities (Study 2) than their counterparts not in an HWR. Moreover, the negative career ramification of an HWR was stronger for men romantically involved with their female superiors than women with their male superiors (Study 2). This research highlights the need for organizational members to be aware of biases associated with HWR and gender role–based status expectations because past achievements may be discounted for lower status HWR participants, especially men.
** Suzanne Chan-Serafin, Lydia Teo, Amirali Minbashian, David Cheng, Lu Wang, "The perils of dating your boss: The role of hierarchical workplace romance and sex on evaluators’ career advancement decisions for lower status romance participants", Volume: 34 issue: 3, page(s): 309-333, (March 3, 2016).
* This study examined the credibility implications of employees who date at work. A 2 (status dynamic of the romance) × 2 (sex of the peer) design was used to examine effects of workplace romance on perceptions of credibility. One hundred and forty full-time working adults assessed the credibility of a hypothetical coworker who was involved in a workplace romance. Results indicate that peers who date superiors are viewed as less caring and less trustworthy than are peers who date equal status employees. Sex and status interacted such that women dating superiors versus peers were perceived as less caring and less trustworthy, whereas perceptions of men did not differ based on the status of their relational partners
** Horan, S., & Chory, R. (2011). "Understanding Work/Life Blending: Credibility Implications for Those Who Date at Work", Communication Studies, 62(5), 563-580.
* There have been, I gather, many definitions of romance, as a matter indispensably of boats, or of caravans, or of tigers, or of "historical characters," or of ghosts, or of forgers, or of detectives, or of beautiful wicked women, or of pistols and knives, but they appear for the most part reducible to the idea of the facing of danger, the acceptance of great risks for the fascination, the very love, of their uncertainty, the joy of success if possible and of battle in any case. This would be a fine formula if it bore examination; but it strikes me as weak and inadequate, as by no means covering the true ground and yet as landing us in strange confusions.
** Henry James, "Introduction" to The Novels and Tales of Henry James 2 (The American) (1907): xvi.
* The panelists each threw out their theories for the decline of college dating: Christakis thinks it's because college students these days are too focused on resume-building and career preparation. They're indoctrinated into the cult of extracurricular activities in middle and high school, and the involvement obsession continues throughout college almost as if by inertia. "It's 'I'm secretary of this' and 'I'm director of that,'" she said. "And even they admit that a lot of it is kind of bogus." Rachel Greenwald, an author and dating coach, thinks it's because most college "relationships" now occur within the context of a brief sexual encounter, or "hookup," as the youth say. "Romance," she said, "has gone the way of cursive handwriting." A recent study by the American Psychological Association found that between 60 and 80 percent of North American college students have had a hookup, even though 63 percent of college men and 83 percent of college women said they would prefer a traditional relationship. "In gearing themselves up for sex, they're draining themselves emotionally," Greenwald said. "They are in training to ... discard, to ignore, to swallow their emotions so they can participate in the anxiety-provoking but common dynamic which is the hookup culture." Lori Gottlieb, an Atlantic contributor, author, and psychologist, thinks it's because Millenials have been so coddled by their parents and teachers that they are now unable to accept others' opinions and realities. Which makes it hard when, in a relationship, your reality is that you will go to the farmer's market and make a healthy salad together, and your partner's reality is Starcraft.
   * Olga Khazan, “Why College Students Need a Class in Dating”, The Atlantic, (Jul 2, 2014).
* Romance requires trust—and the deeper the trust, the deeper the possibility for romance.
** Jordan Peterson, Beyond Order (2021), p. 271
* Questionnaires were administered to graduate students employed by a large university to assess part of Pierce, Byrne, and Aguinis's (1996) model of workplace romance. Based on data from 297 respondents, results indicate that (a) females held less favorable attitudes toward romance and sexual intimacy at work than did males, (b) participating in a romantic relationship with a member of the same organization was positively associated with a participant's self‐appraised job performance, and (c) consistent with an affective spillover hypothesis, degree of loving feelings for a current romantic partner was positively associated with an individual's own level of intrinsic work motivation, job involvement, and satisfaction with his or her type of work.
** Pierce, C.A. (1998). "Factors Associated With Participating in a Romantic Relationship in a Work Environment". Journal of Applied Social Psychology. 28 (18): 1712–1730.
* The idea of an addiction, as used in the Manuscript, explains why power struggles arise in romantic relationships. We've always wondered what causes the bliss and euphoria of love to end, to suddenly turn into conflict, and now we know. It is a result of the flow of energy between the individuals involved. When love first happens, the two individuals are giving each other energy unconsciously and both people feel buoyant and elated. That's the incredible high we all call being 'in love.' Unfortunately, once they expect this feeling to come from the other person, they cut themselves off from the energy in the universe and begin to rely even more on the energy from each other only now there doesn't seem to be enough and so they stop giving each other energy and fall back into their dramas in an attempt to control each other and force the other's energy their way. At this point the relationship degenerates into the usual power struggle.
** James Redfield, in The Celestine Prophecy (1993)
* In the modern world, the Romantics were the last major cultural movement to assert the "truth of the imagination," defending art as a way of knowing the world that equalled or surpassed scientific reason. In their resistance to what Blake called "Satan's Mathematik Holiness," their goal was not to reject science but to enlarge it. ...the Romantics sought to understand by augmentation.
** Betty and Theodore Roszak, "Deep Form in Art and Nature" Alexandria 4, Vol.4 The Order of Beauty and Nature (1997) ed. David Fideler
* What is often referred to as love may be pleasurable and exciting for a while, but it is an addictive clinging, an extremely needy condition that can turn into its opposite at the flick of a switch. Many "love" relationships, after the initial euphoria has passed, actually oscillate between "love" and hate, attraction and attack. Real love doesn't make you suffer. How could it? It doesn't suddenly turn into hate, nor does real joy turn into pain.
** Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment (1997) p.67
* In the early stages of many... romantic relationships, role playing is quite common in order to attract and keep whoever is perceived by the ego as the one who is going to “make me happy, make me feel special, and fulfill all my needs. I'll play who you want me to be, and you'll play who I want you to be.” That's the unspoken and unconscious agreement. However, role playing is hard work, and so those roles cannot be sustained indefinitely, especially once you start living together.
** Eckhart Tolle, in A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose (2005)
* What is commonly called “falling in love” is in most cases and intensification of egoic wanting and needing. You become addicted to another person, or rather to your image of that person. It has nothing to do with true love, which contains no wanting whatsoever.
** Eckhart Tolle, in A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose (2005)
* Some 60 percent of workers say they've taken a shot at some kind of workplace romance, according to a survey by the career management and job-search site Vault.com. But managers today are much more sensitive to employee decision-making that could suggest a worker is distracted—that is, not 100 percent focused on the company's goals, Goldfarb says. No question, an employee whose actions polarize a work group or cause it to lose effectiveness, or threaten to embarrass the company, is at risk. "If you're having a relationship and you think anybody in the place might be jealous of that, might be resentful of that, might see it as distracting or potentially risky to the organization, you're better off not having that relationship," Goldfarb says.
** Liz Wolgemuth, "Be Wary About Chancing a Workplace Romance: Managers have dwindling patience for distractions", U.S.News, (Nov. 22, 2010).
* "What is this romance?" she mused. "Ah, that’s the question. I’ve never come across a definition that satisfied me, though there are some very good ones"—he glanced in the direction of his books. "It’s not altogether knowing the other person, perhaps—it’s ignorance," she hazarded. "Some authorities say it’s a question of distance—romance in literature, that is—" "Possibly, in the case of art. But in the case of people it may be—" she hesitated.
** Virginia Woolf, Night and Day (1919)

### Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations

    Quotes reported in Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922), p. 676.
* Parent of golden dreams, Romance! Auspicious queen of childish joys, Who lead'st along, in airy dance, Thy votive train of girls and boys.
** Lord Byron, To Romance.
* He loved the twilight that surrounds The border-land of old romance; Where glitter hauberk, helm, and lance, And banner waves, and trumpet sounds, And ladies ride with hawk on wrist, And mighty warriors sweep along, Magnified by the purple mist, The dusk of centuries and of song.
** Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Prelude to Tales of a Wayside Inn, Part V, line 130.
* Romance is the poetry of literature.
** Madame Necker.
* Lady of the Mere, Sole-sitting by the shores of old romance.
** William Wordsworth, A Narrow Girdle of Rough Stones and Crags.