# Roxane Gay

Roxane Gay (born October 15, 1974) is an American writer, professor, editor, and commentator.

## Quotes

* It started as a process of writing what I know to be true and it became a process of revelation. I was able to make some realisations about myself that previously I hadn’t made and it really forced me to confront my relationship not only with my body, but with food. I mostly saw how unkind I had been to myself when my body has actually gotten me through quite a lot in life. And recognising that, in many ways, I was holding on to the weight for the wrong reasons and the only one that was really hurting was myself.
** On writing and personal revelations in “Roxane Gay: ‘No one is guaranteed love or affection’” in The Guardian (2018 Jun 2)
* In fact, it’s the opposite…As a black woman, as a black queer woman, specificity is incredibly important, because diverse experiences are rarely seen in literature.
** On how Gay’s use of a fairy-tale format in her fictional works does not constitute an appeal to universality in “Roxane Gay: ‘Public discourse rarely allows for nuance. And see where that’s gotten us’” in The Guardian (2018 Dec 27)
* The moment I step outside the safety of my home, I hate how visible I am, how people treat me, how they stare and comment both loudly and under their breath … I do not know how to carry myself with confidence when I go out into the world. Any sense of self I have is often shattered within minutes, and then I am all insecurities and fears, wishing myself into a more socially acceptable form.
** An excerpt from one of her essays as quoted in “Roxane Gay: ‘Public discourse rarely allows for nuance. And see where that’s gotten us’” in The Guardian (2018 Dec 27)
* There is a before and an after…In the after I was broken, shattered, and silent.
** An excerpt from Hunger in which Gay describes herself after being gang-raped during her teenage years as quoted in “Roxane Gay: ‘Public discourse rarely allows for nuance. And see where that’s gotten us’” in The Guardian (2018 Dec 27)
* I grew up in this world where fat phobia is pervasive…And I just thought, 'Well, boys don't like fat girls, so if I'm fat, they won't want me and they won't hurt me again.' But more than that, I really wanted to just be bigger so that I could fight harder.
** On how she viewed her body after her sexual assault in “Be Bigger, Fight Harder: Roxane Gay On A Lifetime Of 'Hunger'” in NPR (2017 June 19)
* I would definitely like to tear down this wall I've built around myself, because I don't need it anymore. And I know that intellectually, and on good days, I know that emotionally. I don't want to be thin, I want to be smaller, because I just do. I think it makes so many things easier just on a day-to-day basis, and also I have no small amount of vanity, so I just want to be able to find cuter clothes. Sometimes it's really basic things that I would like for myself.
** On the need to become “smaller” in “Be Bigger, Fight Harder: Roxane Gay On A Lifetime Of 'Hunger'” in NPR (2017 June 19)
* It’s used like a weapon. What it means is, ‘I don’t want to think about your concerns. I don’t want to have to extend my empathy.’…We have to think with nuance, and unfortunately public discourse rarely allows for nuance. And see where that has gotten us.
** On why she rejects identity politics in “Roxane Gay: ‘Public discourse rarely allows for nuance. And see where that’s gotten us’” in The Guardian (2018 Dec 27)
* Because oftentimes I’m the first or the only – so I cannot be the last.
** On why she wants to make opportunities for others in “Roxane Gay: ‘Public discourse rarely allows for nuance. And see where that’s gotten us’” in The Guardian (2018 Dec 27)
* They start by understanding that feminism is just an idea. It’s a philosophy. It’s about the equality of women in all realms. It’s not about man-hating. It’s not about being humorless. We have to let go of these misconceptions that have plagued feminism for 40, 50 years. It’s ridiculous that we’re still having this conversation. “But I love men!” Who cares! It’s not about men at all.
** On how women might understand and embrace feminism in “Roxane Gay's Bad Feminist Is a ‘Manual on How to Be a Human’" in Time Magazine (2014 Aug 5)