# Duplex (film)

    For other uses, see Duplex.
Duplex is a 2003 film about a young couple (Nancy Kendricks and Alex Rose) who move into their dream home, a duplex shared by an elderly Irish woman (Mrs. Connelly) who makes their lives miserable.
    Directed by Danny DeVito. Written by Larry Doyle.

## Mrs. Connelly

* I'm coming. Slowly but surely!
* Come along dear, don't be shy! It's French Onion.
* [the clock shows almost 5:30 PM] Oh, look at the time! I had no idea it was so late!
* Could you give me a hand with the garbage? We don't wannna be feedin' the mice.
* [after Alex spills the garbage on the stairway and, disgusted, holds up Mrs. Connelly's underwear with a paper towel roll] What in heaven's name are you doin' with me drawers!?
* It's pissin' down out there!
* A bit of music and a bit of a dance!
* It's loose as a Dublin whore!
* Upchuck is a delicacy for Little Dick. He's salivatin'.
* Off we go, Dicky Boy.
* You caught me. I can't help but sneak a fag once in a blue moon.
* Nice seein' ya again, Kenneth.
* Use some elbow grease.

## Alex Rose

* Blow me down!
* I could have sworn we had more stuff.
* [reading a dictionary entry] "Macaw: any long tailed, brightly-colored parrot." A macaw is a parrot, I knew it!
* It's horrible. My parents read this magazine. Now they know my penis is called Mr. Peabody!
* She just manipulated me somehow. She's very crafty. She's a crafty old…lady.
* Besides, how can I have time to rewrite my novel and still do my faithful servant duty to her as her little indentured servant person. Her little butt boy. I mean, I got a lot of duties, honey. She might need me to go out and count grapes with her, or help her fix her heater, or go take her to the laundry, or I got to go help her clean her banana skins, or I got to go clean out her garbage, and I got to go help her fill her monthlies out, or go and wipe her ass! God forbid she have any shit hanging off her ass! Because then I have to run up there double time like a little bunny, and I have to go up there with my little tissue and I have to go wipe her little ass and then I have to say, "Oh, good for you, Mrs. Connelly. Good for you for having such a nice little poopie. What's that? You've got some poopie on your diapey? Well let me clean it off—with my tongue!"

## Nancy Kendricks

* Hello, Mr. Peabody!
* It's a peacock!
* Are those musical instruments?
* We forgot to christen the apartment.
* What was she doing?
* She puts on this sweet voice. "Nancy, could ya help meh, eh? I think I've found the leavings of a mouse!" Boo, hoo, hoo! As if she didn't know it was a raisin!
* We'll finally be happy!

## Others

* [muffled sound of Mrs. Connelly's very loud t.v.] I saw myself in the mirror and I thought it was my mother's tush.
* Tara: God, you're such a good squeezer, Nancy.
* Herman: I don't want it tickety boo, I want it tickety now!
* Officer Dan: It's my experience that wives don't accidentally shoot their husbands in the penis.

## Dialogue

    Nancy Kendricks: Besides, do you realise how much the duplex is going to be worth once we get both floors?
    Alex Rose: I know how much it costs.
    Nancy Kendricks: Well it's going to be worth like a bazillion times that.
    Alex Rose: Really? A bazillion? That's an incredible return.
    Alex Rose: We brought you this little housewarming gift. [gives Mrs. Connelly a bottle of wine]
    Mrs. Connelly: Oh, that's very kind of you, thank you. I'll open it for you. I don't drink myself, it's a sin.
    Alex Rose: [to Nancy] Irish Catholics don't drink?
    Mrs. Connelly: Sit down, dears, sit down! I brought ya a little something to nibble on as well.
    Alex Rose: Oh, Bugles. Wow, I didn't realise they even still made Bugles.
    Mrs. Connelly: [offering Alex a Bugle dipped in French onion dip] Come along, dear, it's French onion.
    Alex Rose: [nibbles while looking at Bugles box; sees expiration date reads "October 1997"] Magnificent parrot.
    Mrs. Connelly: It's not a parrot, dear. He's a macaw. He's named after my late husband, Richard. I've had Little Dick for forty years. [Alex and Nancy smile] Now tell me about yourselves. What do you do, Allen?
    Alex Rose: [correcting her] Alex.
    Nancy Kendricks: Alex is a writer.
    Mrs. Connelly: Oh, a writer. I always thought of that as more of a hobby than a real job. I suppose I'm forgettin' about Joyce.
    Alex Rose: Joyce, James Joyce, of course. Wonderful writer.
    Mrs. Connelly: He died drunk and penniless.
    Nancy Kendricks: Well, Alex's first novel was published in hardback, and he's just about to finish his second one.
    Mrs. Connelly: Oh, what's it about?
    Alex Rose: Well, I like to call it an urban epic. It's about three generations of this family in New York that own a printing press, and I tell a story mainly about—
    Mrs. Connelly: [bored, cutting him off] Oh, that's nice. Let me give you a refill. Big Dick had the taste, too. He was a seaman. The drink took him from me in 1963. We'd been married for 58 years. [Nancy counts silently]
    Alex Rose: I wonder how old she is.
    Nancy Kendricks: My guess is that she's somewhere between 95 and 105.
    Alex Rose: I'm sorry, I don't hear anything.
    Mrs. Connelly: It was very distinctive. The pipes went "bang bang, bangety bang bang…bang, bang."
    Herman: Nancy, did you finish the Celebrity Scene page?
    Nancy Kendricks: Oh, tickety boo.
    Herman: I don't know what that means.
    Nancy Kendricks: It means you'll have it soon.
    Herman: Well if you mean I'll have it soon, then why don't you say "I'll have it soon"? I mean, "tickety boo" is just confusing, for everybody!
    Nancy Kendricks: Were you napping?
    Alex Rose: No! I was…I was just rearranging my book collection.
    Nancy Kendricks: In the dark?
    Alex Rose: And then I just shut my eyes, for a second…
    Nancy Kendricks: Look! I got a peacock!
    Alex Rose: What does it do?
    Nancy Kendricks: It's there to be decorative and look pretty and be aesthetically pleasing.
    Herman: And what do you do, Chick?
    Chick: I'm a pornographer. Let me give you my card, you know, just in case.
    Mrs. Connelly: I always thought it was strange, your husband staying home while you were out there, providin'.
    Nancy Kendricks: Well, he's a writer.
    Mrs. Connelly: [laughs] Writer? The man naps more than a newborn pup. What's he writing about, sheep?
    Nancy Kendricks: Is there something, Mrs. Connelly?
    Mrs. Connelly: Oh, I guess ya could say there was something! I've got 'something' on display in my kitchen.
    [cut to a scene in Connelly's kitchen]
    Nancy Kendricks: That is not a mouse dropping, it's a raisin.
    Mrs. Connelly: That is the leavings of a mouse.
    Nancy Kendricks: It's a raisin! [puts the raisin in mouth; expression turns to disgust as she hacks up raisin]
    Mrs. Connelly: I spayed it with Lysol.
    Mrs. Connelly: [regains consciousness, notices Nancy's hands on her chest] What are ya doin'?!
    Nancy Kendricks: You were choking on a chocolate.
    [Connelly looks at Alex who has lipstick on his lips from reviving her]
    Alex Rose: You choked on a chocolate.
    Mrs. Connelly: Awww!
    [cut to the police station]
    Officer Dan: Go on, Mrs. Connelly.
    Mrs. Connelly: The last thing I remember, I ate one of their chocolates. When I woke up, he was havin' his way, and she was holdin' me down!
    Alex Rose: No, no, I was trying to save her life!
    Mrs. Connelly: He stole my drawers once. For sniffin'!
    Alex Rose: That's ridiculous! She was choking on a chocolate so I gave—
    Officer Dan: Do shut up.
    Nancy Kendricks: Come on, come on. We don't have much time.
    Alex Rose: I know, she's running errands. That only gives us twelve fucking hours.
    Nancy Kendricks: Poor Mr. Peabody!
    Alex Rose: He took one for the team.

## Taglines

* Alex and Nancy finally found their dream home…and then they moved in.
* It all started with one wrong move.
* Moving In September 26.

## Cast

* Ben Stiller – Alex Rose
* Drew Barrymore – Nancy Kendricks
* Eileen Essell – Mrs. Connelly
* Harvey Fierstein – Kenneth
* Justin Theroux – Coop
* James Remar – Chick
* Robert Wisdom – Officer Dan
* Swoosie Kurtz – Jean
* Wallace Shawn – Herman
* Maya Rudolph – Nancy's co-worker Tara
* Amber Valletta – Celine
* Michelle Krusiec – Dr. Kang
* Tracey Walter – Pharmacy Customer
* Danny DeVito – Narrator (voice)

## External links

* Duplex quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* Duplex at Rotten Tomatoes