# Anger Management (film)

Anger Management is a 2003 comedy film starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson which was directed by Peter Segal and written by David S. Dorfman.

## Dave Buznik

* [singing] I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. Oh so pretty and whitty and... gay.
* Five hour drive to find out mommy had a jelly bean removed from her nose... Glad I missed work. Can we eat now?
* Look everybody, Pana Banana's got a heinie! He's got a heinie!
* I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling-out-my-penis-in-front-of-you-ophobe.
* I want to have children with you! Children! With your eyes and my... last name! That's all I want.
* Why couldn't you have told her something else? I was at the bank! I was at the store! I ate bad guacamole and couldn't stop shitting! Any of those things would have been fine!
* I'm feeling very angry right now, because I have only one bed and no couch.
* Flirting is cheating's ugly cousin Buddy, I am not a cheater.
* "So when I get out of prison in the next 2-5 years, I expect you to do the right thing and give me the promotion that Andrew resigned from.

## Dr Buddy Rydell

* "There are two kinds of angry people: explosive and implosive. Explosive is the kind of Individual that you see screaming at the cashier for not taking their coupon. Implosive, is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and finally shoots everyone in the store. You are the cashier."
* "Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin. From now on, unacceptable."

## Dialogue

    Dave Buznik: Oh my goodness, Bobby Knight. You're in this class also?
    Bobby Knight: Yeah its my first day.
    Dave Buznik: Working on the anger problem?
    Bobby Knight: Anger? Isn't this sexaholics anonymous?
    Dave Buznik: Oo, noo.. I think that's down the hall...
    Bobby Knight: [Throws down his book in anger] Well, to hell with this! I'm goin' home!
    Dr Buddy Rydell: [watching a movie, laughing] OH, HEY! I'M WETTIN MY JOCKIES HERE! [continues laughing] You gotta get a load of this, keed. I mean, you like comedies? Huh?
    Dave Buznik: Yeah, I just haven't been getting much sleep lately and I'd like to get some.
    Dr Buddy Rydell: Oh, hey, hey. [pause, watches movie] Take a look at this actress here. What is your position on, uh, breast implants?
    [disturbs people on plane]
    Dave Busnik: You know, I could just watch the movie with ya. [to flight attendant] Excuse me, could I get a headset?
    Flight Attendant: Certainly.
    Dave Buznik: What about the Air Marshall who tasered me? Was he in on it?
    Linda: No, he was just having a bad day.
    Air Marshall: Son of a bitch!
    [As Dave sees Kendra in her undies...]
    Dave Buznik: Kendra, even though I'd love to see ya take that bra off because it represents a team I've hated my entire life, I think you gotta keep it on.
    Kendra: Why?
    Dave Buznik: 'Cause I got a girlfriend.
    [Kendra then frowns]
    Kendra: I'm not a child, Dave. If you think I'm a porker, then just come right out and say it.
    Dave Buznik: No, no, no... I don't think you're a porker.
    Kendra: Well, then, why, when the idea of sleeping with me comes up, you, all of a sudden, have a "girlfriend"?
    Dave Buznik: Because I do, I do, I have a girlfriend.
    Kendra: Said the liar to the beached whale!
    Dave Buznik: You're not a beached whale! If anything, you could even gain a few pounds.
    Kendra: Oh, so now I'm too skinny for you?
    Dave Buznik: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't mean that.
    Kendra: Is this what you want, Dave? [stuffs her face with brownies]
    Dave Buznik: No.
    Kendra: [with mouth full] If I put on a few pounds, will you be able to stifle your vomit long enough to have sex with me?!
    Dave Buznik: Holy shit.
    Kendra: [still stuffing herself] Are you such a hot stud that you're gonna break me in two?
    Dave Buznik: You're angry right now. Do ya wanna sing a song? Do you know "I Feel Pretty"? [Kendra throws a brownie at his face] Oh!
    Kendra: [while pelting him with brownies] Get out, get out, get out! Get out! [slams the door]
    Dave Buznik: Porker! Fatty! No!

## Taglines

* Feel the love
* Let the healing begin

## Cast

* Adam Sandler as David "Dave" Buznik
** Jonathan Osser as Young Dave Buznik
* Jack Nicholson as Dr. Buddy Rydell
* Marisa Tomei as Linda
* Luis Guzmán as Lou
* Jonathan Loughran as Nate
* Kurt Fuller as Frank Head
* Krista Allen as Stacy

## External links

* Anger Management (film) quotes at the Internet Movie Database