# Andy Rooney

Andrew Aitken "Andy" Rooney (January 14, 1919 – November 4, 2011) was an American radio and television writer. He was most notable for his weekly broadcast "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney," a part of the CBS News program 60 Minutes from 1978 to 2011. His final regular appearance on 60 Minutes aired October 2, 2011. He died one month later, on November 4, 2011, at age 92.

## Quotes

    Arranged in ascending chronological order
* Some banks get stuck with a name that sounded good a hundred years ago when they were founded but sounds kind of silly now. In New York, there's a Dime Savings Bank. Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one. You certainly wouldn't bother to take it to a bank to save it.
** Andy Rooney (1981). "Bank Names". A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney. Warner Books. p. 96. ISBN 0-689-11194-0.
* Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by their government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
** Andy Rooney (1981). "Political Parties". A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney. Warner Books. p. 153. ISBN 0-689-11194-0.
* The one affectation I have forced on the publisher … are my apostrophe-free ellisions. Because I write my scripts to read myself, I dont spell 'don't' with an apostrophe. I spell it 'dont'. We all know the word and it seems foolish to put in an extraneous apostrophe. Punctuation marks are devices we use to make the meaning of sentences clear. There is nothing confusing about a word like 'dont' printed without an apostrophe to indicate an omitted letter.
** Andy Rooney (2003). "Foreword". Years of Minutes. PublicAffairs. p. xiii. ISBN 978-1586482114.
* At the end of every television broadcast, the names of the people who worked on it are listed. Why, you may ask yourself sometimes, would so many people want to take credit for such a bad show? Well, its just like what's happened to the dollar. Credits in television suffer from inflation. There are more of them and they arent worth what they used to be, even on a good show.
** Andy Rooney (2003). "Credits". Years of Minutes. PublicAffairs. p. 6. ISBN 978-1586482114.
* President Reagan must be happy over how bad the weather's been this winter, because its the one thing no one's blaming on him. Theres nothing television news likes better than bad weather, and we sure get a lot of it in the United States.
** Andy Rooney (2003). "Weather". Years of Minutes. PublicAffairs. p. 8. ISBN 978-1586482114.
* I wish people who sell things would stop trying to guess how many of something we want to buy. I want to buy things one at a time.
** Andy Rooney (2003). "Twofers". Years of Minutes. PublicAffairs. p. 9. ISBN 978-1586482114.
* Ive had quite a few complaints lately from people who like it when I complain about things. They say I havent complained about anything lately. So tonight, for you complaint fans, I have a complaint.
** Andy Rooney (2003). "Labels". Years of Minutes. PublicAffairs. p. 197. ISBN 978-1586482114.

## Misattributed

* "I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're too young to work. You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby, and then... You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then... You finish off as an orgasm."
** Variations of this piece have been misattributed to Andy Rooney, George Carlin, and Woody Allen. The original source is a variation on a piece by Sean Morey. ( "snopes.com: Andy Rooney on Everything". Snopes.com. Retrieved on 2012-09-09. )

## About

    Alphabetized by author
* There's nobody like Andy, and there never will be. He'll hate hearing this, but he's an American original.
** Jeff Fager, Chairman of CBS News and Executive Producer of 60 Minutes — quoted in CNN Wire Staff (October 26, 2011). "Longtime CBS newsman Andy Rooney hospitalized". CNN (Turner Broadcasting System, Inc.).
* It's a sad day at 60 Minutes and for everybody here at CBS News. It's hard to imagine not having Andy around. He loved his life and he lived it on his own terms. We will miss him very much.
** Jeff Fager — quoted in "Andy Rooney dead at 92". CBS News (CBS). November 5, 2011. Retrieved on October 31, 2013.

## See also

* 60 Minutes

## External links

* Andy Rooney on IMDb
* CBS Biography
* Archive of previous "A Few Minutes ..." segments on CBSNews.com
* Andy Rooney's Political Views on Snopes.com
* Andy Rooney Interview at The Interviews: An Oral History of Television
* Authority control: VIAF: 57318375 | WorldCat search
* Authority control: WorldCat search