# Angela Anaconda

Angela Anaconda (1999-2001) is a cutout animation television series that aired on the Fox Family Channel.

## Episodes
### Cabin Fever

    Gen: Not so fast smarty pants!
    Angela: (huh)
    Gen: I'm sorry Angela but I'm afraid you're grounded for the weekend.
    Angela: Huh? For what?
    Gen: For not telling the truth.
    Angela: Grounded for the whole entire weekend completely?
    Gen: Yep. Including Sunday.
    Angela: And what about Monday?
    Gen: It's back to school for you.
    Angela: Yes. Thank you, thank you. It'll be goodbye boredom and hello eraser duty.

### Crazed and Confused

    Josephine Praline: [Angela wants to trade for her Bug Thug] You want to trade me your sister?
    Angela Anaconda: Yeah, think about it. You could start your own orphanage.
    Josephine Praline: It's bad enough with my own brothers and sisters. [walks off]
    Angela Anaconda: But wait! She hasn't been baptized yet. You could save her soul.

### Dirty Work

    Candy May: Um, do you have those things that clip papers?
    Nanette Manoir: Paper clips?
    Candy May: Uh, yeah, I think so.

### French Connection

    Angela: Will she really be like my very own real sister which I have always wanted?
    William: Angela, you already have a sister. Lulu Anaconda? Baby Lulu?
    Angela: Oh her. Naw, she doesn't count. I mean a real sister, with hair!
    Angela: Any questions?
    Cici: Yes! What is that?
    Angela: That is a spitball. Le ball de spit.

### Garbage Swingers

    Josephine: (Church Organ) Blessed are those who ensure the cleanliness of our neighborhoods. And since cleanliness is next to Godliness, can I have a ride?
    Gina: My mom is boycotting perfume on the principle that it exploits finite resources.
    Uncle Nicky:(chuckles) I wish she'd exploit my finite resources. Eh? Know what I mean?
    (Angela and Gina stare back blankly)
    Uncle Nicky: Eh, guess I'll just use it to impress some other babe.
    Mrs. Brinks: I'm no lady, I'm Mrs. Brinks!

### Goodbye Mrs. Brinks

    Angela: Johnny Abatti, what are your five most favorite things that you love to do in school?
    Johnny: Well, sometimes when I'm taking a bath, I--
    Angela: I said, "in school."
    Johnny: Oh. Then I'd say shooting spitballs, sticking gum under the desks, snorkeling milk, little nosepicking, and I throw food, whenever I get the chance.
    Angela: Perfect. Now all we have to do tomorrow is not do any of those things.
    Johnny: What are we supposed to do all day?
    Angela: Concentrate on getting Mrs. Brinks that job. Tomorrow we have got to prove how good we are and what a wonderful teacher Mrs. Brinks is, so she can go be a wonderful teacher someplace else.
    Mrs. Brinks: YOU! YOUNG MAN! TO THE CORNER!
    Gordy: It wasn't me, Mrs. Brinks. Just look at the fault on those airplanes. Mine would've been much crisper.
    Dr. Fanny: Look no further than Bruiser, Cheeky, and Grunt! The evidence is right on their desks.
    Mrs. Brinks: It couldn't be! They must have been making geometrical shapes since studying aero-dynamics for the math lesson.
    Gordy: The fault. The fault!
    Angela: Oh, no. Mrs. Brinks is so confused, on account of us acting good, and Nanette acting bad, it is making her act terrible.
    Angela: Pardon me, please, Dr. Fanny. But you have to give Mrs. Brinks the job. Things are all mixed up today. Normally, :we are the bad ones, and Nanette-- I mean Bruiser is good. Everything good we did today, we learned from Nanette, who learned from Mrs. Brinks's w-- W-- (slap) Wonderful teaching.
    Dr. Fanny: Mrs. Brinks, the thought that this you're most charmed and fine student would pretend to actually be ill-mannered for her teacher's sake, I must say is terribly rude.
    Nanette: But she's not pretending, she--
    Dr. Fanny: Not another charmless from you, you riff raff! Riff raff? Mrs. Brinks, I'm afraid I've been terribly unfair. One of the first principals of charm is keeping one's promise. And I promised to judge you on your finest student. And not on the riff raff: Bruisers Cheekies, and Grunts. There it is. The Angelic smile of a well-taught student. I'd be thrilled if you could cultivate that smile on the students of my school, Mrs. Brinks. Use that contract. We would be honored to have you.
    Angela: Dr. Danny Fanny said it. Today has been a most enlightening day. We learned that Mrs. Brinks and I had the exact same most cherished dream, that she leaves.
    Mrs. Brinks: (screams)
    All: Yay!
    Angela: So now I am in charge. And lucky for me and everyone I'm in charge of, I found us a teacher who has an excellent curriculum. Professor Abatti will teach us everything we need to know about...
    Johnny: Shooting spitballs, sticking gum under desks, snorkeling milk, a little nose picking, and of course, throwing food.
    Nanette: Help me! Help me! Oh, Angela, the precious, it was so perfectly good you made Mrs. Brinks leave forever and never come back!
    Angela: You will cry.
    Nanette: Find me a teacher with better taste.
    Angela: Your wish is my command, Ninnypoo. Our new teacher, Mr. Tasty Twirl.
    Gina: (panting) NOOOOOOOO!
    Angela: And the first subject he will teach is "Ice Cream 1-0-1. Our homework will be delicious.
    Nanette: Eeeeeeaaaaaaaaah!
    Angela: What now, Ice Cream Ninday? You don't like Mr. Tasty Twirl either? They will get a new teacher.
    Nanette: Aaaah!
    Angela: Astronaut Bob. And he will take us on a fabulous field trip to mars. Aaah! We've been spotted by the enemy! Quick, Professor Astronaut Bob, Hyperspace! But first I guess we'll have to dump out the access garbage, not much of a waste, if you ask me. (laughs)

### Gordy Floats

    Angela: Ninny can't win. On account of this truly capture, "Spring Into Spring Into Love." It looks a little cluttered. Maybe we should take off the flowers.
    Gordy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I can't take this anymore! "Spring Equals Love" is about love, not about being competitive in beating Nanette. Now, look at this, and tell me, where is the love?
    Angela: Where are you going?
    Gordy: You guys can have this abomination. Entering the parade, trotting the river... I don't care! I'm out!

### I Wanna Mould Your Band

    (using his Mr. Ducksworthy sock puppet)
    Johnny Abatti: And now watch as I eat a cracker while Johnny-boy continues to talk. (Inserts a cracker into Mr. Ducksworthy's mouth and makes it look like it's eating) I am talking while he's eating a cracker. (Laughs) A cracker.
    Nannette: (singing) "Zut alors!" is the French word for, "being gauche is such a bore!" (It actually means, "Darn!")

### Model Behavior

    Angela: Who would ever want Ninny-Wart for a model?
    Gina:Especially when there are (Angela and Gina strike a pose) classic shapes like ours to chose from?
    (Angela and Gina giggle).
    Angela: Vanity thy name must definitely be Nanette-ty, all this practicing to be the perfect model has made you more bent over than usual!
    Angela: Whoops. Guess I was so busy getting you things, I didn't learn as much about sculpting as you probably would have liked. Nanno-Ninny!
    (picks up miniature Nanette)
    Angela Anaconda: But don't fret tiny un-French one. (whistles). Your pompous parents' town car could sure use an attractive hood ornament.
    (About Gen Anaconda's marble statue of Nannette)
    Bunny Manoir: It simply won't do! It's beautiful, of course. It's our Nannette! But, it really should be bigger. It will look ridiculous in our capacious foyer, which is French for "vestibule."

### News at Eleven

    Mr. Brinks: Ooh! Stay tuned for the Channel 163 news with Carl Carlson.
    (cut to: empty news desk)
    Carl Carlson: (offstage and begrudgingly) Ugh, not again. Cut to black! Cut to black!
    Mrs. Brinks: Class, We're doing the news! It seems that a spot has opened up at the 163 schedule due to news anchor Carl Carlson leaving town to attend a (ahem) step class
    Gordie: (excitedly) He's discovered the cardiovascular thrill-ride that is aerobics?!!?
    Mrs. Brinks: I wouldn't call it "aerobics". His class only teaches twelve steps.
    Angela: (as Johnny) In a crime beat exclusive, we've just received news that the Manior Sextuplets are wanted on six accounts of robbing the wold of happiness!
    Angela: (as herself) And you know what that means Johnny. She's going straight to-
    Nanette: HELP!!!

### Rat Heroes

    (Toothpaste drops on Angela's nose)
    Angela: GAH! ALIENS!
    (Cut to: Baby Lulu babbling and clapping above Angela)
    Angela: SIC 'EM KING, SIC 'EM!
    (King yawns)
    Angela: My toothpaste. Bad.
    (Baby Lulu babbles)
    Angela: Baby Lulu, you might be my sister, and I can't do anything about that. But that doesn't mean you can eat my toothpaste.
    Nanette: I can't wait to find out how valuable your precious paperweight is Angela Anaconda
    Angela: I can't wait until you wear your Spiffy-Pop hat in a giant microwave, Ninny-Poo.

### The Bird Lady Of Tapwater Springs

    Angela: Hey! A bird just flew into our window!
    Josephine: I prayed it's all right.
    (angela gasps)
    Mrs. Brinks: IN YOUR SEATS! Detention is not over until the late bell rings!
    (bell rings)
    Angela: (laughs)
    Mrs. Brinks: Class dismissed.
    Mrs. Brinks: ANGELA ANACONDA! YO-YOING IN CLASS?! What in Heaven's name has gotten into you??! You are to clap erasers immediately!
    Angela: Okay.
    Gordy: (humming)
    Mrs. Brinks: What's this?! Using Gordy Reinhardt as you're personal lackey?!
    January: I'll give you a facial if you bless me with eternal fashion sense.
    Karlene: I'll give you a facial EVEN MORE!
    Jimmy Jamal: I just heard from Johnny Abatti how you raised that bird from the dead and was wondering if you could heal my pet iguana. He seems depressed.

### The Curse of Baby Lulu

    Johnny Abatti: Hey, I know what'll keep her quiet. Uncle Nicky, sing that lullaby you used to sing to me.
    Uncle Nicky: (sings) Hush little Johnny, it's a quarter to six. Let Uncle Nicky go pick up hot chicks.
    Uncle Nicky: Just admit it; you are the one who cursed like an out-of-work circus clown!

### Whose Sari Now

    Prince Abdul: (Singing) Little Nin, Little Nin, Where do I begin? Hair like spools of golden thread-
    Angela: (Dryly) -And brains like moldy loaves of bread!
    (Mrs. Brinks brushes up against Bodyguard)
    Mrs. Brinks: Mmm! All that bowing and lifting must do wonders for your Pecs!
    Bodyguard: Mmm.
    (Mrs. Brinks swoons)

## Cast

* Sue Rose
* Richard Binsley
* Kevin Duhaney
* Edward Glen
* Jonathan Malen
* Bryn McAuley
* Ali Mukaddam
* Ruby Smith-Merovitz
* Robert Tinkler