# Office Romance

Office Romance is a 1977 Soviet comedy film about a timid senior statistician Anatoly Novoseltsev and his female boss Lyudmila Kalougina, a strict plain unmarried woman called "our frump" behind her back. Following his friend's advice Novoseltsev starts courting Kalougina on purpose to be promoted; started for mercenary ends, it eventually results in mutual love that transforms both of them.
    Directed by Eldar Ryazanov. Written by Emil Braginsky and Eldar Ryazanov, based on a stageplay "Coworkers" (Russian: Сослуживцы, Sosluzhivtsy) by Eldar Ryazanov and Emil Braginsky.

## Novoseltsev

* As everyone knows, labor ennobles man, and that's why people go to work with pleasure.
* This is Shoura - nice but, unfortunately, active. At some point she was promoted to public work and there's been no way to discharge her from it ever since.
* I have children - a boy and... a boy. Two boys.
* (to Shoura, angrily): Go to... the accounting department!!! And even farther!

## Verochka (secretary)

* I won't live that long, I have a hazardous job!
* That's all for you, Novoseltsev... Wash-out! My old woman is interested in you. Exploring your personal records!
* Footwear is what makes woman.
* What distinguishes a businesswoman from a Woman? A gait! Just look how you walk! ....Huddle yourself up, tie yourself in a knot, shrivel like an old torn boot and here you are dashing to work as if hammering in polings! But look how we do. My head is up... eyes are down a little... everything is relaxed here... shoulders pulled back... I move freely from my hip... a spring-relaxed style of a panther ready for leap.
* Lyudmila Prokofyevna, where did you pick up this vulgarity? You wag your hips like a loose woman!
* As a matter of fact, one could even teach a hare to smoke. There's nothing impossible for a person with intellect.
* Ryzhova, the bottle blond that always walks with string bags. Look, here she sits, all in terrible roses.
* In a woman, there should be mystery.

## Other

* Ryzhova: When a woman is told that she is a good girl, does it mean that she's an utter fool?
* Kalougina: I have such an unstained reputation, it's high time to compromise me.

## Dialogue

    Kalougina : You have stated that I am tough...
    Novoseltsev : Why, you are tender...
    Kalougina : inhuman...
    Novoseltsev: Human!
    Kalougina: heartless...
    Novoseltsev: Hearty!
    Kalougina: dry...
    Novoseltsev: Wet!
    Novoseltsev: Now let's sort it out with you. When will you stop being making mischief? Why is everyone always complaining about you?
    Vova (Novoseltsev's son): But I behave myself!
    Novoseltsev: Why don't they complain about the other children, eh? And why have you been eating plasticine?
    Vova: But I ate it with sugar!
    Novoseltsev: You're a big boy, you know perfectly well that we don't eat play dough. And what did you guys lock Masha in a closet for?
    Vova: You see, I locked her in, but the key got lost...
    Novoseltsev: March! And don't even think of smearing glue on the teacher's chair, you hear!
    Kalougina: Wait, it dawned upon me... Are you drunk?
    Novoseltsev: No, when I am drunk I am violent. (gives a neighing laugh) But right now I am quiet.
    Kalougina: I am lucky!
    Kalougina: I hope you're not going to play music now.
    Novoseltsev: Yeah... I want to... sing!
    Kalougina: What a misfortune!
    Novoseltsev: Why? My friends say that I have a beautiful baritonal... descant!
    Novoseltsev: We love you... In the bottom of our souls... Somewhere very deep...
    Kalougina: So deep that I don't even notice it!
    Verochka's husband (on the phone): I understood why we broke up. We need to have a baby, and as soon as possible!
    Verochka: You want us to have a baby? But I can't now.. There are two hours left till the end of the workday, and Kalougina is here... I can't go off...
    Kalougina: I made a ruin of myself... And I am only thirty-six...
    Novoseltsev (amazed): How thirty-six?!
    Kalougina: Yes, I am younger than you. How old do I look?
    Novoseltsev: You look... thirty... five!
    Kalougina: You are lying again!
    Verochka: Breast forward!
    Kalougina: Breast? Vera, you're flattering me!
    Verochka: Everyone is flattering you.
    Shoura: Boublikov died! <...> Donate 50 copecks for a wreath!
    Novoseltsev: If someone else is born or dead today I will be left without a lunch...
    Novoseltsev: Don't hit me on my head, it's my vulnerable spot!
    Kalougina: It's your hollow spot!
    Kalougina: You are a real contemporary man!
    Novoseltsev: How dare you insult me like this?!
    Kalougina: Were you bad at school? I knew that you're a former dunce!
    Novoseltsev: Let's leave my shadowy past alone.

## Cast

* Andrey Myagkov — Anatoly Yefremovich Novoseltsev
* Alisa Freindlich — Lyudmila Prokofyevna Kalougina
* Svetlana Nemolyayeva — Olga Petrovna Ryzhova
* Oleg Basilashvili — Yuri Grigoryevich Samokhvalov
* Liya Akhedzhakova — Verochka
* Georgi Burkov — Zavkhoz (Logistics manager)
* Lyudmila Ivanova — Activist Shoura
* Pyotr Shcherbakov — Pyotr Ivanovich Boublikov
* Nelly Pshennaya — Samokhvalov's wife

## External links

* Office Romance quotes at the Internet Movie Database