# Under the Silver Lake

Under the Silver Lake is a 2018 American film about Sam, an unemployed disaffected eccentric 33-year-old Ohio man living aimlessly in a Los Angeles converted former hotel complex spying on neighbors when he investigates clues related to The Dog Killer and becomes smitten with Sarah, a similarly eccentric young woman who also lives in the complex, and starts a relationship. When Sarah suddenly disappears unexpectedly and her apartment is enigmatically cleaned out, Sam follows three woman who visit the apartment which sets him on a whirlwind rabbithole escapade of deciphering clues and infiltrating secret societies of the LA hip scene.
    Directed and written by David Robert Mitchell.

## Sam

* I know it's not okay for me to say this but I- I fucking hate the homeless. Everybody says we need to take of them, but I think they're fucking bullies. Poltergeists.... All they do is float around the edges, on the peripheries and watch people eating delicious food, drinking beer and falling in love. They can't participate so they get jealous, and then they harrass us.
* [Sitting on floor] What's that? [Counts letters in lyrics of album reverse side] One, two, three. One, two, three, "u". Five. One, two, three, four, five. "B". Three. One, two, three. "D". One. One, two... seven. "U". "U". Nuh. "N". And, "w". "T". And... "N". "N". It's "Rub deans head now aitun er newton". "Rub deans head and wait under newton". "Rub deans head and wait under newton". "Rub deans head and wait under newton". [Gets up giggling excitedly and dances] Okay. "Rub Dean's head and wait under Newton". What the fuck does that mean? Dean Martin. Dean. Larry Dean Stanton. Dean Koontz. Richard Dean Anderson. Dean of admissions. Dean Stockwell. James Dean. [Goes to window] "Rub Dean's head". "Rub Dean's head". [Sighs, looks at bird woman then shifts gaze to Griffith Observatory] James Dean's head. Ha! Heh!
* [Standing over chess board] H6 to G4, [Circles the squares and glances bracelet] "NPM 1, 35 to 37". NPM. NPM. What the fuck does NPM mean? [Repeats "NPM" repeatedly then has an epiphant, rushes to stack of Nintendo Power magazines] NPM 1. Nintendo Power Magazine issue one. And 37. NPM 35 to 37. 35 to 37. Okay. Page 35, 36, 37. Oh my god. [Writes chess square position coordinates on pull-out map in magazine] H6, G4. H6, G4. H6. Calm down. Calm down. H6 to... one, two, three, four. G4. H6 to G4. [Circles in map] What the fuck do I do with that? [Sighs] H6 to G4. [Rushes over to Spacestones cereal box, opens it and tries to eat the cereal but spits it out and finds a map, unfurling it] Fuck, yes. [Lays cereal map over magazine map] Wow. My god. You were right. You were right. Okay. H6 to G4. So that's the reservoir, and that's Mount Hollywood. [Rushes to laptop to search for satellite views only to learn that it's censored] What the fuck is in there?!

## Allen

* There's a message in the music..

## Young Drunk Woman

* You don't become a Bride without fucking Jesus.

## Homeless King

* Some people don't realise this about themselves, but, uh, you don't have a good smell about you.

## Final man

* This isn't a world that anyone with any sense stays in or spends much time worrying about. You're living in a carnival. Throwing little plastic rings at oversized pop bottles, hoping to win a prize. What are you gonna win? A two-week vacation? A new car? A little money to retire on? It's all just a shitty sawdust-filled rabbit. The things you care about are useless where we're going.

## Dialogue

    The Actress: Wait, what is that?
    Sam: It's the neighbor's parrot.
    The Actress: Oh. What's it saying?
    Sam: I'm not sure.
    The Actress: Not a friend?
    Sam: Maybe. [They chuckle] Hard to say
    The Actress: Hmm. [Picks up Playboy issue off nightstand]
    Sam: That's my favorite issue.
    The Actress: Why this one?
    Sam: Oh, I found it in my uh, Dad's tool drawer in out garage when I was really young.
    The Actress: [Chuckles] Oh, yeah?
    Sam: Yeah.
    The Actress: Did you steal it?
    Sam: Mmm-hmm. I uh, the girl on the cover is the first thing I ever masturbated to.
    The Actress: Hmm. She's pretty.
    Sam: I know. [Actress laughs]
    The Actress: First thing I ever masturbated to, was probably a rerun of Charles in Charge.
    Sam: Oh my god. That's awesome.
    The Actress: Yep. I'm pretty cool. [They both laugh]
    [Sam is at a bookstore]
    Store clerk: [Reading a comic pamphlet] "Only I know the secrets of Silver Lake, in time I will reveal the truth behind the mysterious crimes, murders, and disappearances within this cursed community. I have the answers, I will reveal all, under the Silver Lake." Jesus.
    Sam: Yeah. [Chuckles] Yeah, do you know who writes that?
    Store clerk: Yeah, a local guy. Strange. But nice.
    Sam: Does he come in here, ever?
    Store clerk: Sure. I see him.
    Sam: If I gave you like, five bucks, would you pass my number on to him?
    Store clerk: I don't know.
    Sam: Come on. I like his work and would like to meet him. It's... you're just passing on a number. It's not...
    Store clerk: Okay, sure. But I don't need your five dollars.
    [Sarah laughs]
    Sam: What?
    Sarah: I saw you spying on me earlier.
    Sam: No, I wasn't.
    Sarah: At the pool. Were you masturbating?
    Sam: No. [Sheepishly chuckles] No.
    Sarah: Well, it's not strange. I masturbate.
    Sam: Me, too, but...
    Sarah: Doesn't everybody?
    Sam: Yeah. Well, I was just looking.
    Sarah: Okay, I believe you. You wanna get stoned?
    Sam: Yeah. Sure, yeah.
    [Sam and Sarah are lying in bed watching How to Marry a Millionaire (1953)]
    Sam: That's pretty. [Admiring bracelet] What's that? Is that, uh... Is that engraved?
    Sarah: Yeah, from an old boyfriend.
    Sam: Oh. "Old boyfriend".
    Sarah: Mmm-mm.
    Sam: Hmm.
    Sarah: Do you like my tattoo?
    Sam: Is that real?
    Sarah: No, it's temporary, from a pack of gum.
    Sam: Oh, thank god for temporary.
    Sarah: [Eating crackers] I know you think this is gross. [They both chuckle] But when I was sick in grade school, I- I ate my saltines and not my chicken noodle, and then I took a sip of OJ, and it was delicious. It's like, one of those undiscovered, unknown combinations, that no one should die without trying.
    Landlord: They moved out! How does that not make any sense?!
    Sam: Who moves out in the middle of the night?!
    Landlord: They wanted to leave! They forfeited their deposit, paid the lease! They! Moved! Out! Nothing strange about it!
    Sam: I don't understand, why didn't she tell me?!
    Landlord: I don't know! Maybe she didn't like you! Maybe she knows your poor and haven't paid your rent! Maybe she didn't want to date a homeless man. Speaking of rent, this isn't personal, but I want you to know, you'll be forcibly removed in the next four days!
    [Sam arrives at a rooftop party at The Standard Downtown LA and is greeted by two bikini top hat girls holding Pacha cherry pin cushions]
    Bikini Top Hat Girl: Welcome to Purgatory.
    Sam: [Taking a pin] Good to be here. Needed some time to think about things.
    Bikini Top Hat Girl: Use it wisely.
    Rosie the riveter mime: [Reading a book aloud] "All these holy trinities of women thriving like plants under the heat of the city's male gaze.
    [Sam is swimming in the pool hiding behind a beachball to eavesdrop on the three women]
    Jesus and the Brides of Dracula: [Singing] Three, three, three, exploring where the cameras cannot see, you and I beneath the surface, where the lovers cannot breathe, turning teeth, turning teeth...
    Troy': Jesus, we love you!
    Jesus and the Brides of Dracula: [Singing] ...turning teeth...
    Mae: Is Jesus still here? Did he leave already?
    Troy: I'm not sure.
    Fannie: He's with one of the brides I think.
    Mae: Romantically?
    Fannie: Probably. Sure does seem to be making his way through all of them.
    Troy: One bride at a time.
    Mae: He's a romantic.
    Troy: You don't become a bride without fucking Jesus. [They laugh]
    Fannie: If he wasn't so handsome, he'd never get away with it.
    Troy: Blessed by his holy father, I guess.
    Allen: What are you doing here?!
    Sam: Hi Allen.
    Allen: Hey.
    Sam: Nice to see you. Is that a woman's blouse?
    Allen: Guess so.
    Sam: Okay.
    Allen: What are you doing? You working?
    Sam: Yeah, of course. How 'bout you?
    Allen: Yeah, working, thinking about things a lot. Why we're swimming on rooftops when there's an ocean right over there?
    Sam: Well, I don't have any answers.
    Allen: Who does? Nobody does.
    Sam: Hey, do you know a- a redhead and a blonde and a brunette that drive a white convertible rabbit?
    Allen: No, but I'm looking forward to meeting them.
    Sam: Well, I'm trying to see if I can track 'em down.
    Allen: [To Emerald] I like that dress. Hi.
    Emerald: Hi. Thanks, Allen. [Looks across party] Oh, my god. Take a look. Isn't that Millicent Sevence?
    Allen: I think it is.
    Emerald: What is she doing here? Isn't her Dad kidnapped or something?
    Allen: Oh, that's not a very classy move.
    Sam: Well, it's hard to know what a- what a person might do when they're in pain.
    Bride: I'm doing a secret solo show at Hollywood Forever if you want to come.
    Allen: Yes, I'd love to.
    Bride: [Hands out cookies] This is your ticket. Do not eat or break it. If it's missing anything, even a crumb, they won't let you in.
    Allen: Thank you.
    Emerald: [Her phone chimes and she checks it] Oh my god, looks like they found Millicent's dad.
    Sam: Hmm, really?!
    Emerald: His body was burned or something.
    Allen: He's dead?
    Emerald: Yeah
    Sam: Does she know?
    [Friend whispers in Millicent's ear who becomes visibly upset and walks to the elevator]
    Newscaster: We're looking at footage of the crime scene discovered earlier tonight. The burning car of a 1935 Duesenberg, was spotted by a resident, who immediately called authorities. Now it's hard to believe but the LA Police chief has confirmed that the remains are those of Jefferson Sevence. As we reported earlier, Sevence was found dead in his car with the bodies of three women believed to be prostitutes. In addition, some unnamed sources have leaked a very odd detail about the case. Apparently, the remains of a dog, a breed known as a Bichon Frise were found in the purse of one of the victims. This has officially become a very grisly and puzzling murder investigation. I'm joined now by- [Sam freezes TV to confirm if that a hat carried by an officer is allegedly that of Sarah, holding up her polaroid]
    Sam: Fuck.
    [Sam and the actress are in the bathroom with Sam taking a bath to wash off the skunk discharge]
    The actress: [Reading comic pamphlet] "Who is the "Owl's Kiss"? The Owl's Kiss is a lost legend of folklore, just as terrifying as The Wolfman of Frankenstein's Monster. She is a woman who arrives at night through windows and locked doors, naked, except for her mask of taxidermied owl skin. She seduces men and women alike, killing them in their sleep. This beautiful scepter is responsible for dozens of deaths within the Los Angeles basin, though she has yet to be mentioned by mainstream media. Theories abound about her motives. This author believes she may be a member of a long-standing American cult, with origins in trade and finance. It is the unlucky soul who finds himself the recipient of an Owl's Kiss." What a bunch of horseshit. [Throws pamphlet on ground and chuckles] Oh... can't believe Jefferson Sevence is dead. Seems like every year, more and more celebrities and people I grew up with keep dying. Dick Clark, Elizabeth Taylor, Johnny Carson.
    Sam: Everybody dies, even those people we think are gonna be here forever.
    The actress: What were those pages on your nightstand? The one with all those scribbles?
    Sam: No, it was nothing.
    The actress: No, tell me. I want to know.
    Sam: Well, have you ever heard about, um, old record albums, having Satanic messages in 'em if you play 'em backwards?
    The actress: Sure.
    Sam: Well, I was watching Wheel of Fortune, and I noticed Vanna White did this pattern of glances every so often. She would look straight ahead, to the right, to the left, and then back again. [The actress chuckles] I was like... I was just... I started to wonder. Is that random? Is there a reason? Like a pattern behind it? And if there is... if there is... maybe there's something meaningful in that pattern, so I started taking note of when it happened. Past seven months, I got a complete record. And just... I've been thinking. Why do we just assume that all this infrastructure and entertainment and open information and this beaming all over the place, all the time, and every single home on the planet is exactly what we're told it is? Maybe there're people out there who are more important than us, more powerful and wealthier than us, that are communicating things and seeing things in the world that are meant only for them, and not for us? I think it's fucking ridiculous to assume that media has just one purpose, right?
    The actress: Mmm-hmm, yeah.
    Sam: Oh, you think that's weird.
    The actress: A little
    Sam: Okay. You don't ever think that maybe rich people know something that you and I don't?
    The actress: Like... like, good restaurants, maybe.
    Sam: Eh. [Chuckles]
    The actress: Look, don't take this the wrong way, but you smell so bad.
    Sam: Yeah.
    The actress: And I- I think I should get going.
    Sam: Okay. Thanks for the juice.
    The actress: [She gets up and collects shoes] I'll be back when the smell goes away. [She walks away]
    [Sam draws out symbol seen in Sarah's former apartment]
    Comic-man: Stay quiet.
    Sam: What?
    Comic-man: It means; "stay quiet". It's a Hobo Code.
    Sam: Really?
    Comic-man: Hobos and railriders used it a lot in the 1930's. Yeah, [Gets pamphlet to Sam] look. They let people know whose cool. Who wasn't. Which houses offer food. If there was a doctor in town that might be sympathetic to travellers. That sort of thing.
    Sam: Okay, so, why is it in Sarah's room? And who were they telling me to be quiet?
    Comic-man: I don't know. Maybe you. There's been this rash of lost-and-found signs for dogs, humans, musical instruments, over the past two years. Something really big is going on. I know it.
    Sam: And you think any of this could be connected to Sarah.
    Comic-man: Of course, I mean, it could be a lot of things. Sex and drug trafficking. The cult of the whale. The dog killer. I mean, lately, I just assumed that, the Owl's Kiss, has something to do with everything.
    Sam: I'm not so sure about that.
    Comic-man: Do you have a dollar bill on you?
    Sam: I might. [Produces one and the comic-man circles on it with a pen and holds a magnifying glass]
    Comic-man: Here. Take a look. That's the sign of the Owl's Kiss. Right there. On every dollar bill in this country. With every transaction, we enter a pact to live by her law. Any household that eats, lives or trades under her eyes is subject to her jurisdiction. Our world is filled with codes, pacts, user agreements, subliminal messages. [Runs and gets vintage magazines] Here. Here. Words and symbols hidden in print. Advertising. Sexual innuendo. Connected with corporations. Ideologies you assume you adopted through freewill but actually are a result of hidden messages.
    Sam: Okay, so what if there were messages that aren't subliminal? But are only meant for certain people?
    Comic-man: Of course. That's as common as tits and hamburgers.
    [Sam is in the comic-man's basement who removes a wall panel to reveal a secret lair]
    Sam: What's with all these cameras?
    Comic-man: I'm trying to protect myself. You know how many people have died from the owl's kiss?
    Sam: No, I don't.
    Comic-man: Well, I got the place all wired up. Nobody gets in here without me knowing, right? [Comic-man rummages in far corner] Ah, here it is! Here it is! I got it, I got it... [Produces a cereal box of "Spacestones"] I bought this from another collector five years ago. [Turns box around and hands it to Sam] I'm convinced that map is the key to everything I've been searching for my whole life.
    Sam: Seriously?
    Comic-man: Seriously.
    Sam: Well, I think all you had to do was mark down where the characters are hiding, and then send in this contest card right here.
    Comic-man: Nah, it's not about the Space Stone toys. It's the map. It's geographically to scale. From Silverlake to the Hollywood Hills. It is guiding me somewhere important, and one of these days, I will crack it.
    [Sam and the bar-buddy are on a hilltop overlooking Downtown Los Angeles at night launching a surveillance drone]
    Sam: Where'd you get something like that?
    Bar-buddy: Where you get everything, Amazon. [Watching view on a laptop] Check it out man. Silver Lake from above. [Drone focuses on a house and hover to window] Oh, there's a good one. I been, like, scouting out these houses. I swear to God, I think this chick used to be, like, a lingerie model or something. It's like, insane body. I mean, you know, you gotta be patient.
    Sam: You ever feel like, you fucked up somewhere a long time ago, and you're living the wrong life, like a bad version of the life you were supposed to have?
    Bar-buddy: Come on, man. You're fine.
    Sam: I used to think that I was gonna be someone that like, yeah... like people cared about. Like, maybe do something important.
    Bar-buddy: Fuck, man. [Chuckles] Everyone thinks that. You know, it's narcissism and entitlement 101.
    Sam: I feel like someone's been following me.
    Bar-buddy: Yeah, probably. [Chuckles] Honestly, who's not being followed these days? [Owl hoots]
    Sam: I mean, I'm... I'm feeling that alot lately, like even before all this craziness.
    Bar-buddy: That's the modern persecution complex. Who needs witches and werewolves anymore, right? Now we have computers. I swear to God, at the very least, the entire population is suffering from mild paranoia. See, our monkey brains, they're not comfortable knowing that they're all interlinked and routed together now in some kind of all-knowing alien mind-hive, and that shit is a straight-up cesspool for delusion, for fear... [A light turns on in the apartment] oh! [A woman walks around in apartment] Looks like somebody's home! [Chuckles and starts to sing] Come with me, and you'll be... [Woman starts taking shirt off] Oh... in a world of pure imagination.
    Sam: You're sick [Woman starts to cry] I'm gonna take off, see you soon.
    Bar-buddy: Yeah, be careful out there, buddy.
    [Sam walks to a band performance]
    Bride: Thank you everyone for coming. I'd like to dedicate this first song to the man who taught me everything I know. This song is for Jesus. [Sings] Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales and biting nails are gone, but in my mind, I know they will still live and on, but how do you thank someone...
    [Sam walks away to the bar and is given a vinyl record handout]
    Allen: Hi, how you doing? [Puts hand on Sam's back]
    Sam: Work is good. Just floating along.
    Allen: Yeah, I get it.
    Sam: [To bartender] Can I get Jack and Coke?
    Allen: Hey, did you find those girls you were looking for?
    Sam: Um, no, not yet.
    Allen: Mmm-hmm, I'll keep an eye out. Three hot girls in a rabbit.
    Sam: Yeah. Hey, have you noticed anything like, um, strange happening in this circle of friends...
    Allen: Well, that's...
    Sam: ...that's out of the ordinary?
    Allen: That's kind of an everyday thing.
    Sam: Right, yeah, but I just mean, I guess, mean, like, extra strange?
    Allen: Last week, I hooked up with this chick.
    Sam: [Served by bartender] Thank you.
    Allen: She was fucked up out of her mind but she said some weird stuff about Jesus and the Brides.
    Sam: Like what?
    Allen: That there's a message in the music.
    Sam: A secret message?
    Allen: Mmm-hmm.
    Sam: So, what did it say?
    Allen: I have no clue, dude.
    Sam: Who's the girl?
    Allen: Just one of the many.
    Sam: Right.
    Allen: Crazy makes for good sex. You remember that.
    Bride: Time has come, for closing books, and long last looks must end, and as I leave, I know that I am leaving...
    Balloon Girl: [Seated at the nightclub, sharing a cigarette and Sam shows her Sarah's polaroid] I didn't know her very well, but I saw her around at parties and shows and stuff. I don't know what happened to her but, I can tell you, it had nothing to do with my friends. We're just enjoying our world, enjoying our bodies, enjoying our music.
    Sam: [Holds up record album and points to it] I heard that there's some kind of code or like some secret message in, in their music.
    Balloon Girl: [Laughs] I'm pretty sure that's not true. Jesus wouldn't hide a message in a message. There's nothing to solve you know. It's silly, wasting your energy on something that doesn't matter. [Blows up balloon] We have this tiny little window, where we can have fun, fuck, be free. Life is too short right now. [Pops balloon with the cigarette and Sam laughs]
    Sam: [Band starts playing a new song] I wanna dance to this.
    Balloon Girl: I don't know this song.
    Sam: Come on. [Grabs her hand and takes her to dance floor]
    Balloon Girl: We should fuck!
    Sam: Yeah.
    [Starts succumbing to the effects of the spiked cookie]
    Balloon Girl: What's wrong?! What's wrong?!
    Sam: Okay, feel, real... feel really strange.
    Balloon Girl: How much of the cookie did you eat?!
    Sam: All of it! [Sam runs off to washroom]
    Balloon Girl: Shit. I'm sorry. Sorry.
    [Sam leaves washroom and realises Balloon Girl has left but spots Troy there who also spots Sam and runs out with Sam in pursuit]
    Sam: Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, wait! [Starts breathing hard] Hey! Wait! Wait, wait. Hey!
    [Sam succumbs to cookie's effects and passes out on ground]
    [Sam is hanging out with the bar-buddy playing video games]
    Sam: Hey man, you really think you're gonna find a hidden message in a pop song?
    Bar-buddy: I don't know.
    Sam: I just remember being in my room when I was like, ten, and coming up with all these weird, little codes and secret languages.
    Bar-buddy: It's an entire generation of men obsessed with video games, secret codes,
    Sam: Yeah.
    Bar-buddy: Space aliens.
    Sam: [Chuckles] Yeah.
    Bar-buddy: [Dies in video game] Fuck. Used to be, a hundred years ago, y'know, any moron could kinda wander into the woods and look behind a rock or some shit and discover some cool new thing, y'know? Not anymore. Where's the mystery that makes everything worthwhile? We crave mystery, 'cause there's none left.
    [Sam is seated on couch with Shooting Star wandering around apartment]
    Shooting Star 1: What do you do?
    Sam: Nothing. [Chuckles]
    Shooting Star 1: I mean, for work
    Sam: Oh, God. All I'm ever hearing is what do I do for work or; "how's work"? Where's- "where do you work"? [Chuckles] Work- "work good"? "You working good"?
    Shooting Star 1: People have to work.
    Sam: What about you? You- You're in movies. Why are- why are you, uh, y'know, doing this?
    Shooting Star 1: Yeah, I made one little indie movie and barely. Do you know how expensive it is to live here?
    Sam: Yeah, I do. [Chuckles]
    Shooting Star 1: Do you want a blowjob from the supporting actress Academy Award nominee last year? [She starts taking off dress] Shooting Star. [Sam chuckles] Do you wanna go down on the girlfriend of the lead in your favorite sitcom? Call Shooting Star. Wanna fuck an "IT" girl? It's not that hard. You are a patron of the arts, and I can pay my bills. [She gets on top of Sam] You gave 'em your credit card, right?
    Sam: Uh-huh. [She starts kissing him] Can I ask you something?
    Shooting Star 1: Sure.
    Sam: I was wondering last night at the cemetery, who was that pirate-looking guy in the limo?
    Shooting Star 1: No idea.
    Sam: You don't know his name?
    Shooting Star 1: No, he's anonymous.
    Sam: You don't know anything about him?
    Shooting Star 1: Mmm-hmm.
    Sam: [Chuckles] Oh. Okay.
    Shooting Star 1: You got any food? [Reaches for pizza and spots Sarah's polaroid, holding it up] I know this girl.
    Sam: Really?
    Shooting Star 1: [Walks to him] Mmm-hmm. [Throws pizza slice on coffee table and gets back on Sam]
    Sam: How do you know her?
    Shooting Star 1: Saw her at this party a couple years ago.
    Sam: Oh, yeah?
    Shooting Star 1: Mmm-hmm.
    Sam: [Chuckles] Did you talk to her?
    Shooting Star 1: No. that would have been impossible. [Chuckles]
    Sam: Why?
    Shooting Star 1: She was in this glass cube in the middle of the living room. Was, like, some bad performance art, I guess.
    Sam: Hmm.
    Shooting Star 1: And she was just sitting there, wearing a Dalmatian bathing suit, not moving, not making eye contact, and all these drunk old men tapping on the glass, and she wouldn't budge. [They chuckle]
    Sam: Who took there?
    Shooting Star 1: Oh, some asshole producer, you know, he brought me and some girls as his dates.
    Sam: Oh, what was his name?
    Shooting Star 1: I don't remember. He makes these big action films based on household cleaning products.
    Sam: Yeah, I know who you're talking about.
    Shooting Star 1: [Chuckles] Yeah. So we get there, we go through the gate, and they check our IDs, and [sighs] we're just free to roam around this luxury neighborhood, to go in any house we want, any room we want. There's food everywhere, music, dancers, craziness.
    Sam: Hmm.
    Shooting Star 1: It's this big open party right out of Gatsby.
    Sam: Wow. [Chuckles] So whose place was it?
    Shooting Star 1: No one ever really said. It was weird. But there was this one house, the biggest house on the block, this big stone mansion, and we weren't allowed to go near it. It's the only place off-limits.
    Sam: Hmm.
    Shooting Star 1: And I heard some girls in the bathroom talking about how it belonged to some songwriter
    Sam: Must have been some song.
    Shooting Star 1: Hmm. No shit.
    [Sam is waiting by statue and a shabby dressed man with an outlandish patched together coat and a crown walks up]
    Homeless King: I saw you rubbing the statue's head.
    Sam: Uh-uh.
    Homeless King: Here. [Throws a cloth to Sam] Put that over your eyes and I'll take you where you're looking to go.
    Sam: Who are you?
    Homeless King: I'm the Homeless King.
    Sam: Really?
    Homeless King: Yeah.
    [A canine howl is heard]
    Sam: Is that a dog?
    Homeless King: It's a coyote!
    Sam: It's not gonna bite me, right?
    Homeless King: No. Coyotes are blessed creatures. [Walking past a coyote foraging through the contents of an overturned trash can] If you ever find yourself alone with a coyote, you don't run away. You follow it, see where it takes you. [Coyote runs off]
    [Homeless King enters in code of a keypad of a door into a mountainside]
    Homeless King: People think we own this land, the streets, the yards, the hills, the houses and caves. Everything belongs to the coyotes. [Leading Sam down a cave tunnel] They're just letting us use it. [Takes off Sam's blindfold]
    Sam: Where are we?
    Homeless King: You know I can't tell you that.
    Sam: Sure. Of course.
    Homeless King: Okay. Well.
    Sam: Uh, this way? [Homeless King nods head and closes door]
    [Sam bursts into washroom with Jesus on the toilet]
    Jesus: What the fuck, man?! I'm taking a shit! [Sam grabs Jesus' leg and drags him off toilet] Get the fuck off me! [Sam punches and slaps Jesus]
    Sam: Huh, huh?! Why'd you put a code in the song?!
    Jesus: What are you talking about?!
    Sam: What are the tunnels for?!
    Jesus: What?! [Sam punches him and Jesus groans] Ow! Why are you hitting me?!
    Sam: Your song; Turning Teeth, there's a fucking code in it! I need to know, why you put it in there, and what the fuck it means!
    Jesus: Help! [Groans]
    Sam: [Grunts] Fucking tell me, eh?!
    Jesus: I don't know anything about a code! [Sam twists Jesus' hand and he groans]
    Sam: How could you not know?! You wrote the fucking song!
    Jesus: No, I didn't! I wrote most of them but not that one!
    Sam: Bullshit!
    Jesus: Honestly! The label gave me a few songs to record! The rest are all mine!
    Sam: So, which songs did they give you?!
    Jesus: Turning Teeth, Wire Mouth and Waltz of the Christian Shit Farmers!
    Sam: That's all the hits!
    Jesus: There's no reason to belittle me, man! [Sam twists Jesus' hands and he groans]
    Sam: All right, who wrote the song?!
    Jesus: They were delivered to me anonymously! I- I got a call from someone at the label. They said not to ask any questions, but, if I didn't record the songs, I'd lose my contract!
    Sam: You're telling me you don't know who wrote your own hit song?
    Jesus: He didn't give me a name, no! He just said it was an important piece of music by the songwriter!
    Sam: "The songwriter"?!
    Jesus: Yeah, the songwriter!
    [Sam walks into palatial villa and follows sound of piano playing]
    The Songwriter: Come inside.
    Sam: You wrote the song; Turning Teeth for Jesus and the Brides of Dracula? And the codes in music? I found the tunnels and the bomb shelter.
    The Songwriter: Okay.
    Sam: So, what does it all mean?
    The Songwriter: Come and sit down. Here.
    Sam: Is that... Kurt Cobain's Fender Mustang guitar?
    The Songwriter: Oh. I don't know. Probably. I don't remember. I have so many things.
    Sam: Can I pick it up?
    The Songwriter: Well... I don't always worry what the message is. I just pass it along. I slip it between the notes, hide it away, for people that know it's there.
    Sam: You're saying you've done this before, codes?
    The Songwriter: I wrote the music your dad grew up to, half of what you sang along to as a kid, and I'm still doing it. Theses teenagers are dancing to my music. [Sings] I want it that way, tell me why..."
    Sam: You're telling me there's hidden messages in old pop songs?
    The Songwriter: Movies, television shows, everything you know.
    Sam: Why?
    The Songwriter: That's pop culture isn't it? Floats away like tissue paper. I blow my nose, I find a used kleenex, I recycle it, and there is your wedding song. Here it comes. [Sings] I wanna know what love is, and I want you to show me.
    Sam: What are the tunnels for? Is there gonna be a war?
    The Songwriter: Oh hell, I don't know. I'm just trying to make a living. Earn a few dollars.
    Sam: But you have everything.
    The Songwriter: No.
    Sam: [Produces polaroid] You know this girl?
    The Songwriter: Well, isn't she pretty? [Sings] Earth angel, earth angel...
    Sam: She was killed.
    [Sings] Won't you be mine?
    Sam: Along with Jefferson Sevence, but I think you already knew that, huh?
    The Songwriter: No, I did not. I don't care what's fashionable or cool. It's all silly and it's all meaningless. I created so many of the things that you care about. The songs that give your life purpose and joy. When you were 15 and rebelling, you were rebelling to my music. [Plays Smells Like Teen Spirit] Uh-oh. There's one you know. And that song was not written on distorted guitar. No, I wrote it on piano somewhere between a blowjob and an omelette. There is no rebellion. There is only me earning a paycheck
    Sam: I don't believe you.
    The Songwriter: Well, good, because the real message was not meant for you. So, it's better if you just smile and you dance and you enjoy the melody, because this ugly old man, me, I am the voice of your generation, your grandparents, your parents, and all the young people that follow you. [Starts playing I Love Rock 'n' Roll and sings] I love rock and roll, So drop another dime in the jukebox, baby. [Talks] Aw, look at you. [Chuckles] Everything that you hopes for, that you dreamed about, being a part of, is a fabrication. Your art, your writing, your culture is the shell of other men's ambitions, ambitions beyond what you will ever understand. [Laughs]
    Sam: That's funny to you?
    The Songwriter: Well, it's a little bit funny, don't you think? [Laughs] because I wrote this. [Plays Ode to Joy] And I wrote this. [Plays Axel F and laughs] And I wrote this. [Plays La Bamba]
    Sam: Stop it.
    The Songwriter: And I wrote this, too! [Plays Pinball Wizard and laughs]
    Sam: Stop it! Who's paying you to write these songs?!
    [The Songwriter cackles]
    Sam: [Runs up to The Songwriter] Who's paying you to write these songs?! [Songwriter produces a pistol] Oh shit! [The Songwriter opens fire on Sam]
    [Sam is playing Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956 film) on TV]
    Woman: Are you crazy, you big idiot?!
    Man: Look, you fools, you're in danger! Can't you see?! They're after you! They're after all of us! Our wives, our children, everyone! They're already here, already! You're next!
    [Sam scares off the Owl's Kiss in his apartment and while searching for the Owl's Kiss, he then hears hard knocking on his door and peering through peep hole revealing a police officer]
    Sam: Oh, fuck.
    [Sam opens door]
    Officer: Hi, I'm here to inform you that you evacuate the premises immediately.
    Sam: [Sighs] Oh... this is about my rent.
    Officer:Yeah, you haven't paid. It's...
    Landlord: Criminally overdue, is what it is.
    Sam: Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Could I just please just get a couple more days?
    Officer: No, I don't think so.
    Sam: Please? I'm... I don't have anywhere else to go, and I'm... I'm really close to getting the money. I promise.
    Officer: Listen, I don't like this either. Worst part of my job, okay?
    Sam: [Sighs] Yeah, I understand.
    Officer: [Sighs] I can give you one more day, but that is it.
    Sam: Thank you.
    Officer: If you can't pay, I will not be the nice girl you see right now.
    Landlord: No, no... I want him out now!
    Officer: Hey, I am handling this. Don't be greedy.
    [Sam and Millicent are walking along chain link fence surrounding Silver Lake]
    Millicent: So, what do you think it all means?
    Sam: Not sure yet. Can't... can't quite see it, but I... I'm close, I think. [Sighs]
    Millicent: [Sees a memorial shrine for a deceased dog] Oh, god. I don't think we should be walking around here at night.
    Sam: I think we're safe. We don't have a dog with us.
    Millicent: Yeah, but anyone who could kill a dog wouldn't think twice about killing a person.
    Sam: Not sure that's true.
    Millicent: So, you a cat person or a dog person?
    Sam: It's hard to say. I got bit by my grandparents' terrier when I was kid, so I- I'm a little bit afraid of 'em.
    Millicent: Oh, god, that's awful.
    [They wake up a homeless man]
    Homeless man: Ah! Got a little change?!
    [Sam puts himself between Millicent and homeless man and starts patting side pocket]
    Sam: No, no, no. Sorry.
    Homeless man: No money to spare huh?! Does the lady know your cheap?!
    Sam: Fuck you!
    Homeless man: Ugly-ass piece of shit, worthless trash! Motherfucker! You're more broke than I am! Fuck you! Come back here and sit next to papa! I'll shit in your mouth asshole! Fucking dickwad, piece of shit!
    Sam: I know it's not okay for me to say this but I- I fucking hate the homeless. Everybody says we need to take of them, but I think they're fucking bullies. Poltergeists.
    Millicent: You mean, ghosts?
    Sam: Yeah. Yeah. All they do is float around the edges, on the peripheries and watch people eating delicious food, drinking beer and falling in love. They can't participate so they get jealous, and then they harrass us.
    Millicent: Why don't you just give him a dollar next time? [Referring to lake] Have you ever been in there?
    Sam: What? The reservoir?
    Millicent: Yeah. Come on. [She starts climbing up fence]
    [Sam and Millicent are swimming in the lake]
    Millicent: I think someone's been following me.
    Sam: You kidding?
    Millicent: I wanted to make it look like we're here to screw.
    Sam: We're not?
    Millicent: I found this hidden in my dad's office. [Puts bracelet on Sam's wrist]
    Sam: H6 to G4. Like a chess move? Your dad played chess?
    Millicent: Yeah. He did. [Bullets start whizzing]
    Sam: Get down! Get down! [They go underwater but Millicent perishes]
    [Sam is walking up mountain and sees three lines painted on a fishing weir on a dried up stream and consults the Hobo guide which means "not safe" but Sam continues on, coming upon a hut with a man and his three concubines]
    Final man: Hello, can I help you?
    Sam: Yeah, my friend Sarah was killed. These three girls know something about it.
    Final man: Why do you assume that?
    Sam: I don't assume it. I saw her taking things from Sarah's apartment, and I found a... hidden code in their friend's music and I've been in the tunnels.
    Final man: All right. Please sit down. Have some tea.
    Sam: I found a- I found a shelter down there. It's some- some kind of bunker in case of a nuclear war.
    Troy: It's not a shelter.
    Sam: So what is it?
    Final man: It's a tomb.
    Troy: Was it ours?
    Final man: They're tombs for kings... like me... and Jefferson Sevence.
    Sam: Why would Jefferson Sevence need a tomb underneath the city? Cemetery not- not good enough for him?
    Final man: It's not about burial. It's about ascension. Not dying, being transported to another world, somewhere better than this.
    Sam: Are you talking about heaven?
    Final man: No. I'm talking about exclusive, and real. Our souls are going to be pulled from our bodies and carried through this amniotic sac. We will be beyond this universe living like kings without limitation. The pharoahs did it. Great men throughout history have done the same.
    Sam: Are you dying?
    Final man: I'm about to be sealed in a tomb with my beautiful brides, and all of my worldly possessions, and we are going to have delicious meals, and wine, and television, and sex, enough to last six months.
    Sam: And then you die?
    Final man: No. We wait to be ascended. Only the richest of men can afford this ceremony.
    Sam: Oh. Oh.
    Final man: It's expensive to build a tunnel system and keep it hidden. But is costs much more to murder people without being harassed about it.
    Sam: Did you kill Sarah?
    Final man: [Hands a picture to Sam] No one will found our chamber for a thousand years. Future men will understand, we were the modern kings, rulers without statues or effigies.
    Sam: She was here. Oh, fuck. Is Sarah alive?
    Final man: She may have ascended already. I don't know.
    Sam: She's down there in one of those things, one of those tombs? With Jefferson Sevence?
    Final man: Yes.
    Sam: They found his body.
    Final man: They found another man's bones mixed with most of Jefferson's teeth, some of his skin, and all of the organs he can live without. [Sam pounds ground in frustration and brides jump]
    Mae: That was such an angry thing to do.
    Final man: What are you upset about?
    Sam: I just want to see Sarah.
    Final man: Well, why don't we see if we can get her on the phone?
    Sam: They have a phone?
    Final man: Incoming calls only. We've had trouble in the past, people getting scared, trying to get out.
    Sam: She's trapped down there? [Mae and Fannie place a coffee table with a briefcase that is a phone terminal]
    Final man: We wouldn't want to lose out on eternal life just because we might have a normal physical aversion to being buried underneath the earth. We're only human.
    Sam: Ah, fuck.
    Final man: Hello. How are you? Uh-huh. [Chuckles] Okay. Good. Do you mind if I put you one video phone? A friend of yours is here, and he wants to see you. Great.
    Sarah: Hello?
    Sam: Sarah, can you- can you hear me?
    Sarah: Yeah.
    Sam: [Chuckles] Uh, uh, I- I've been looking for you.
    Sarah: Really? You hardly know me.
    Sam: Yeah, I know, uh...
    Sarah: Are you annoyed at me? Or angry?
    Sam: Oh, do I sound angry? Oh. I just wanted to know what happened to you
    Sarah: Oh.
    Sam: You really want to be down there?
    Sarah: Yeah.
    Sam: You're gonna- you're gonna die down there. Um, is that what you want?
    Sarah: [Glances over shoulder to Jefferson on couch] I'm gonna take this in the other room. Will you hang it up when I get in there?
    Bride: Sure.
    Final man: Their chamber was covered in a mountain of concrete. It can't be opened. There's no reason to upset that girl. Please be kind.
    Sarah: Got it!
    Bride: Okay.
    Sarah: Do you think I made a mistake, coming down here?
    Sam: May- maybe.
    Sarah: Well, there's no getting out now, so I may as well make the best of it
    Sam: Yeah. Same here. [Scoffs]
    Sarah: So. How are you?
    Sam: I'm not great.
    Sarah: Have you thought about getting a new dog?
    Sam: No.
    Sarah: Might be good for you. A little unconditional love.
    Sam: Yeah, I'll think about it.
    Sarah: Well, I better get going. I said I'd make dinner tonight. I have a million things to do.
    Sam: Okay. Well, enjoy your dinner.
    Sarah: Take care.
    Sam: Bye.
    Mae: [All brides start lying down] Last night, I had a vision of us making love beneath the earth, and then swimming together, naked in a dark pool. And then when it happens, our bodies dissolve into the light, and every beautiful thought we've ever had, forms around us and carries our souls through space, and into another world, and we're just laughing the whole time, because we know that nothing can ever be wrong again. [Sighs] I wish you were coming with us.
    Final man: This isn't a world that anyone with any sense stays in or spends much time worrying about. You're living in a carnival. Throwing little plastic rings at oversized pop bottles, hoping to win a prize. What are you gonna win? A two-week vacation? A new car? A little money to retire on? It's all just a shitty sawdust-filled rabbit. The things you care about are useless where we're going. [Lies down with the rest of the brides and Sam attempts to get up only to partly succumb to the spiked tea and the Homeless King pops up from a hatch and walks towards the hut]
    Sam: How did you know I was here?
    Homeless King: We smelled you.
    Sam: Oh.
    Sam: [Wakes up chained to a chair in a cave] Oh, god. [Sighs] Ah, fuck. [Realises Homeless King is before him and sighs] What happened to that man and those girls?
    Homeless King: They're waking up right now in their ascension chamber.
    Sam: So what, now you're gonna kill me?
    Homeless King: Do you know what you did wrong?
    Sam: No.
    Homeless King: [Produces two dog treats from pocket] We found these in your pocket. Why do you have dog biscuits in your pocket?
    Sam: I used to- I used to like a girl that had a dog
    Homeless King: Hmm. When was that?
    Sam: Like, a long time ago.
    Homeless King: Did she stop loving you?
    Sam: [Heavily breathes] Yeah.
    Homeless King: Why do you have dog biscuits in your pocket?!
    Sam: 'Cause I was waiting for her to take me back. I wanted to give the dog a treat and rub its ears, just the way I used to, and then everything would be good again.
    Homeless King: [He unchains Sam] You can go now.
    Sam: Really?
    Homeless King: Yeah.
    Sam: You're not- you're not gonna kill me?
    Homeless King: I don't think so. We might. I'm not sure yet. But obviously, don't mention any of this to anyone.
    Sam: I won't. Okay.
    Homeless King: Bye.
    Sam: Bye.
    [Sam is lying in bed with the bird woman]
    Bird woman: Is that patchouli? [Hums in pleasure]
    Sam: No. What is the bird saying?
    Bird woman: I don't know. Honestly, I always wondered, but I have no idea.
    [Sam is on Bird woman's balcony having a cigarette and spots across the pool to his apartment that the landlord and police officer searching it]
    Landlord: [Referring to Hobo sign for stay quiet painted on door] Goddamn it! What- What is that! Look at this!

## Cast

* Andrew Garfield as Sam
* Wendy Vanden Heuvel (Hueval) as Topless Bird Woman
* Riley Keough as Sarah
* Riki Lindhome as Actress
* Don McManus as Final Man
* Jeremy Bobb as Songwriter
* Jeannine Cota as Botox Reporter (as Jennine Cota)
* Chris Gann as Jefferson Sevence
* Callie Hernandez as Millicent Sevence
* Jessica Makinson as Mrs. Sevence
* Sky Elobar as Clerk
* Rex Linn as Manager
* Topher Grace as Bar Buddy
* Zosia Mamet as Troy
* Annabelle Dexter-Jones as Fannie
* Laura-Leigh as Mae (as Laura Leigh)
* Christina Wildes as Bikini Top Hat Girl #1
* Nicole Disson as Housewife Poet
* Luke Baines as Jesus, leader and songwriter of the band Jesus and the Brides of Dracula
* Jimmi Simpson as Allen
* Patrick Fischler as Comic Man
* David Yow as Homeless King
* Aussie Guevara as Bikini Top Hat Girl (uncredited)

## External links

* Free Guy quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* Under the Silver Lake at Rotten Tomatoes