# Fetch! With Ruff Ruffman
## Season 1
### 3-2-1 Blast Off!

    Ruff: Ah, Henry, Boss, I mean, I said that I'd have the show ready by today, but I just--I need more time. Please, if I had just one more month, it would be perfect-- I didn't mean "month" I meant, like a week, maybe a day. No, I'm no--Am I? Wait a minute... [to the viewer] Are we live? Hi, I'm Ruff Ruffman! And you're about to witness the most important even in television history! The world premiere of Fetch with Ruff Ruff--[falls off chair] Oh, sorry, I went "puppy" there for a second.

### Good Dancing and Bad Breath

    Ruff: I probably should look that up. [Opens up the dictionary] Let's see. H, H, H. halitosis, yes. [gasps] BAD BREATH!? She said I had bad breath?.. But that's impossible! Everyone knows dogs have the cleanest mouth of the whole animal kingdom.

## Season 2
### The Mystery of Dogtopia and Catlantis

    Ruff: [yelps and shrieks off-screen] RUN, BLOSSOM, RUN!!! [Ruff and Blossom hide in the Fetch 3000's countertop] Okay, we need a little more work...

## Season 5
### Eureka is Not a Brand of Dog Food

    Ruff: [overtired] Hi, and welcome again to Fetch. The reality game show where humans do the fetching, not dogs! [sobbing]
    Fetchers: [concerned] Why? What's wrong with you?
    Ruff: My person, She's rediscovered the joys of playing Fetch with her dog!
    Ruff's Owner: [off-screen] Ruffydoodles, time for fetchies! Bring your tennis ball! Woof-woof!
    Ruff: [sobbing] You see what I mean!? She's running me ragged!

### Look What the Dog Dug Up!

    [Spring cleaning in Ruff's office.]
    Ruff: Oh, hi! Look what I just found under the couch! [pulls out a stale plate of spaghetti and meatballs] The meatballs are a little hard, but the rest of it is okay. [Blossom shows Ruff a box] No, Blossom, you can't throw this out. This is my limited edition figurine. [gives it to Chet, who places it on the shelf; Blossom gives Ruff a package] Who's it from, Blossom? [reads the label] "From a Fan of the Show". Well! [he unwraps the package, revealing a sandwich with a face made out of vegetable toppings; gasps in awe] It's the most delicious-looking pastrami sandwich ever! [sniffs the sandwich] In fact it, looks so good, I can't eat it! I have to bury it!
    [Ruff runs outside to bury the sandwich. Blossom opens a window and watches.]
    Ruff: [peeks in] What can I say? It's a dog thing. [goes back to work] I can't expect you to under... [finds something] Whoa! Wait a minute! What is this?!
    [Ruff returns to the office, carrying a strange-looking Egyptian coffin.]
    Ruff: I just found this buried in the backyard! [Blossom looks at Ruff] It's what? An ancient Egyptian sarcophagus?! A coffin for a mummy?
    [Blossom places her hands on the lid of the coffin as Chet runs on top of it.]
    Ruff: [worried] Wait! If you open it, you could disturb the mummy and unleash a curse!
    [Blossom opens the lid anyway, sending Chet flying through the air. He goes over Ruff's head.]
    Ruff: Chet!
    [Chet lands on a spoon holding a stale meatball. The meatball is catapulted through the air. Ruff and Blossom duck.]
    Ruff: Meatball!
    [The meatball hits Ruff's figurine, shattering it to dust.]
    Ruff: [devastated] My figurine! Blossom, do you think this is a sign you've unleashed a curse?!
    [The shelf comes loose, and all the stuff on it falls on Ruff.]
    Ruff: How about now?
    Ruff: Hello, and welcome to Fetch!, the only reality game show where the host has had an ancient curse put upon him by a mummy!
    Fetchers: Wait... What? What do you mean?
    Ruff: I'm in a backyard, I'm burying a pastrami sandwich - don't ask - and in the process, I dig up this ancient Egyptian coffin. If you want proof that I'm cursed, look! Black ooze has started dripping from the ceiling! Black ooze!
    Emmy: That's a little eerie. Is there anything else that could have caused it?
    Ruff: Well, Emmy, maybe I shouldn't have stored leaky containers of molasses in the attic, but still, it's black ooze! And if you need more proof that things aren't right, I told Chet to set the table, and look. He did it perfectly.
    [The Fetchers cheer Chet on.]
    Ruff: No! No! He's never done anything even close to correct before. Something has to be done about this.
    Ruff: WHAT'S THAT?! AAH, A SKELETON WITH A HAT! Wait a minute, my Fetchers are wearing the same hat!