# The Full Monty

The Full Monty is a 1997 British comedy about six unemployed Sheffield steel workers who form a male striptease act, cheered on by women to go for "the full monty" — total nudity.
    Directed by Peter Cattaneo and written by Simon Beaufoy.

## Gary 'Gaz' Schofield

* I've got a degree in arse-wiggling, mate.

## Dialogue

    Police Inspector: So your daddy dances in front of you, does he?
    Nathan: When he's rehearsing.
    Gaz: Y'know Dave, it's a thought...
    Gerald: Ha! I could just see Little and Large prancing around Sheffield with their widgers hanging out. Now that would be worth 10 quid!
    Gaz: Don't be so bloody daft. We were just saying...
    Gerald: [teases by mimicking binoculars] Widgers on parade! Bring your own microscopes!
    Dave: I don't see why the chuff not, Gerald.
    Gerald: Because you're fat and he's thin, and you're both fucking ugly!
    Dave: I mean, what if next Friday 400 women turn 'round and say "He's too fat, he's too old and he's a pigeon-chested little tosser"? What happens then, eh?
    Horse: They wouldn't say that, would they?
    Dave: Why not? He's just said her tits are too big.
    Lomper: That's different. We're... blokes.
    Dave: Yeah, and...
    Gerald: I think she's got nice tits, actually.
    Lomper: I never said nowt about her personality, like. I mean, she's probably quite nice if you get to know her.
    Dave: No. And they won't say nowt about your personality neither, which is good 'cause you're basically a bastard. Bollocks to your personality — this is what they're looking at, right? And I'll tell you summat, mate. Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is none.
    Dave: I've been dieting. I do try. Seems like I spent most of me fuckin' life on a diet. The less I eat, the fatter I get.
    Lomper: So, stuff yourself and get thin.
    Gerald: Fat, David, is a feminist issue.
    Dave: Well, what's that supposed to mean when it's at home?
    Gerald: I don't bloody know, do I? But it is.
    [The team recruits Guy]
    Gaz: You don't sing?
    Guy: No.
    Gaz: You don't dance?
    Guy: No.
    Gaz: Hope you don't mind me being nosy, but what do you do?
    Guy: Well, there is this...[strips down pants and underwear]
    Gaz: [coughs smoke, then long pause] Gentlemen, the lunchbox has landed.
    Dave: [discussing possible means of suicide] I know. You could stand in middle of road and have a mate run smack into you right fast.
    Lomper: Haven't got any mates.
    Gaz: Listen to you. We just saved your fucking life. So don't tell us we're not your mates, all right?
    Lomper: Really?
    Gaz: Yeah.
    Lomper: Thanks. Thanks a lot.
    Dave: Yeah, me an'all, I'd run into ya as soon as look at ya.
    Lomper: Cheers.

## Taglines

* Six men. With nothing to lose. Who dare to go....
* The year's most revealing comedy.

## Cast

* Robert Carlyle - Gaz
* Mark Addy - Dave
* William Snape - Nathan
* Steve Huison - Lomper
* Tom Wilkinson - Gerald
* Paul Barber - Horse
* Hugo Speer - Guy
* Lesley Sharp - Jean
* Emily Woof - Mandy
* Deirdre Costello - Linda
* Paul Butterworth - Barry
* Dave Hill - Alan
* Bruce Jones - Reg

## External links

* The Full Monty quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* The Full Monty at Rotten Tomatoes