# Richie Rich (film)

Richie Rich (sometimes stylized Ri¢hie Ri¢h) is a 1994 American live-action film adaptation of the Harvey Comics comic book character Richie Rich in which the richest kid in the world has everything he wants, except companionship.
    Directed by Donald Petrie. Written by Neil Tolkin and Tom S. Parker.

## Richie Rich

* Mr. Van Dough, you're fired!

## Regina Rich

* [After the laser gun has destroyed her nose on Mount Richmore] Oh, my God! My nose! I look like Michael Jackson!

## Herbert Cadbury

* Well... I'm already wanted for attempted murder, escaping from jail, and blowing up an aircraft. Breaking and entering sounds right up my alley. Let's kick some butt, shall we?
* Not so fast!
* If I had my choice of weapons with you, Sir, I'd choose grammar.

## Lawrence Van Dough

* [Annoyed with his chauffeur after stepping out of his limo and into a puddle] 37-and-a-half miles of driveway, and you park in the 5 feet with a puddle!
* [to Ferguson] Not me, you imbecile, them!
* [Last words in the film] Hey, screw. Fetch.

## Ferguson

* [Last words in the film] Aren't you gonna throw it back?

## Dialogue

    [Richie and the sandlot kids are preparing to take back Rich Manor]
    Richie Rich: Okay; if any of you guys wanna turn back, just speak up and I'll understand.
    Gloria: Hey, would you turn back if you were us? We're with you, Richie.
    [The Rich family is preparing to depart for England]
    Richard Sr.: Perk up, son. It won't be long before you're having tea and crumpets with the queen!
    Richie Rich: [forces a smile] Personally, I'd settle for soda and hot dogs at Wrigley Field.
    Richard Sr.: [chuckles] So would I...But don't quote me on that one.
    [Richie wants to play baseball with Gloria's sandlot-team]
    Richie Rich: Come on. Let me hit.
    Gloria: Forget it; you probably couldn't even hit a BEACH BALL!
    Richie: I could hit it off of YOU.
    Gloria: [insulted] All right, you think you're so hot? Put your money where your mouth is!
    Richie: You mean bet?
    Tony: Yeah, $5 says she could put you away for keeps.
    Gloria: $5? How about $10?
    Richie: Okay, seems a little steep, but $10,000 it is.
    [Richie takes a wad of bills out of his pocket; the other kids are shocked]
    Gloria: No, not $10,000. $10.
    Richie: Oh, $10, okay.
    Herbert Cadbury: Master Richie, I do think it unseemly in the extreme for you to take these - children's money.
    Gloria: What are you doing, Mr. Fancy Pants? Asking the old guy for batting tips?
    Herbert: [insulted] Take their backsides to the cleaners, Master Richie.
    Economics Teacher: Let's move on to case study #12: Your company is in dire straits. Sales are down 50% due to stiff price competition. Dividends are falling. Stockholders are demanding that you step down as chairman of the board. Now, here's your problem: How do you rally the board of directors to your side AND stave off impending bankruptcy? Reynolds?
    Reynolds: [Reading a newspaper] I'll have my secretary get back to you on that one.
    Economics Teacher: [sighs] Ellsworth, how would you get the board on your side?
    Ellsworth: [Playing miniature golf] Bribe someone.
    Economics Teacher: [Stares blankly] Sit down, Ellsworth. Reginald, what would you do?
    Reginald: [Being fitted by a tailor] What would I do? Simple. I'd float a rumor that we're the object of a takeover bid. And as soon as our stock went up, I'd sell.
    Economics Teacher: That's not only unethical, Reginald, it's illegal.
    Reginald: I'm only 12. I can't be held legally responsible.
    Economics Teacher: Hmm, good point.
    [Richie, having a clear distaste towards Reginald, sends a goofy-looking drawing of him to Cuthbert through a fax machine. Cuthbert laughs, and teacher notices. He walks over to Richie, folding his arms]
    Economics Teacher: Rich, are you and Cuthbert passing notes again?
    Richie: Um, no, sir.
    Economics Teacher: Cuthbert?
    [Cuthbert has already sent the drawing in a shredding machine. The teacher looks back at Richie, who casually smiles at him, and the teacher just rolls his eyes]
    Reginald: (Jabs Ellsworth in the rear with sword during Fencing session at school) Watch your rear, Ellsworth! First rule of defense. (To valet delivering him a coffee) THIS is a cappuccino! I asked for a decaf cafe latte, you incompetent imbecile! If you can't even do the job you're–
    (Richie returns the favor to Reginald for Ellsworth, causing Reginald to spill the coffee all over him. He turns to Richie embarrassed. Everybody, especially Ellsworth, laughs at him.)
    Richie: First rule of defense, Reg: always watch your rear.
    Richard Rich Sr.: How do you put up with me, Regina?
    Regina Rich: Well, you are worth $70,000,000,000.
    Richard Sr.: Is that the ONLY reason?
    Regina: [she lightly gives him a kiss] No. You also have a cute butt.
    [she walks away sensually; he looks embarrassed, then chuckles]
    Richard Sr..: Hey, Cadbury, did you hear that?
    Herbert: Indeed, sir. Madam admires your butt. I'm most delighted for you.
    Herbert: Excuse me, sir. It's a telephone call, from the President.
    Richard Sr.: Which country?
    Herbert: This one, sir.
    Richard Sr.: Ah... Probably needs another loan.
    Pee-Wee: Hey, man, just checking out your crib here.
    Richie Rich: My crib?
    Herbert Cadbury: I believe that's street slang for home, sir, an idiom.
    Omar: Who you callin' an idiom?
    [Having forced Richard Sr. and Regina to open Mount Richmore, Van Dough finds that instead of money, it contains baby pictures, comic books, baseball cards, finger paintings, etc.]
    Van Dough: This is incredible! This is amazing! This is... This is JUNK!
    [Richard Sr. and Regina both look insulted]
    Regina: Junk?
    Van Dough: Bronze dog bones? What, accordians? Baby pictures, tricycles, kites... [Picks up a trophy] Bowling trophies?
    Richard Sr.: Oh, do you remember that, darling?
    Regina: Oh, our first date!
    Van Dough: What is all of this crap?
    Regina: These are our priceless possessions!
    Van: Where are the gold bars... the diamonds... the negotiable bearer bonds, the money? [Aims his gun at Richard Sr.] WHERE'S THE MONEY?
    Richard Sr.: In banks. Where else? And the stock market, real estate...
    Van Dough: No! Is this some kind of joke? You're telling me there isn't one single solitary gold bar, or emerald, or $1,000 bill in this entire mountain?
    Richard Sr.: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Lawrence, but that's not what we treasure.
    Van Dough: [to Ambler] Shoot them. Shoot them now, please!
    [Ambler is about to shoot Richard and Regina, when Richie appears, brandishing a sword]
    Richie: What's the matter, Mr. Van Dough, can't do it yourself?
    Regina: Richie, get out of here!
    Richie: It's okay, Mom. I don't think he has the guts to shoot anyone.
    Richard Sr.: Richie, no! [Ambler points his gun to Richard's throat]
    Van: Generally, you're right, but... on this occasion, I think I'll make an exception. [shoots Richie, not realizing he is wearing Keenbean's special spray that makes his clothes bulletproof; Richard and Regina scream]
    Richie: Cool.

## Taglines

* Without the inventions, the butler, and the private fast-food restaurant...he's just a normal 12-year-old billionaire.
* Five buddies, one butler, and a dog on an adventure so big... Even the world's richest kid can't afford to miss it.

## Cast

* Macaulay Culkin - Richard "Richie" Rich Jr.
* John Larroquette - Laurence Van Dough
* Jonathan Hyde - Herbert Arthur Runcible Cadbury
* Edward Herrmann - Richard Rich Sr.
* Christine Ebersole - Regina Rich
* Mike McShane - Professor Keenbean
* Chelcie Ross - Ferguson
* Reggie Jackson - Himself
* Mariangela Pino - Diane Pazinski
* Stephi Lineburg - Gloria Pazinski
* Joel Robinson - Omar
* Jonathan Hilario - Pee Wee
* Rory Culkin - Young Richie
* Ben Stein - Economics Teacher
* Claudia Schiffer - Herself

## External links

* Richie Rich quotes at the Internet Movie Database