# The Expendables 2

The Expendables 2 is a 2012 American ensemble action film, the second film of the Expendables franchise that pays tribute to the blockbuster action films of the 1980s and early 1990s. A group of elite mercenaries are reunited and recruited by CIA boss; Mr. Church to stop the ruthless Vilain from getting his hands on a plutonium stash and to seek revenge for the murder of a colleague.
    Directed by Patrick Hughes. Written by Sylvester Stallone and Richard Wenk. Story by Ken Kaufman, David Agosto and Richard Wenk.

## Trench

* [To Booker] Who's next? Rambo?
* I'm back!

## Lee Christmas

* [Dressed as a priest] By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and knife.

## Barney Ross

* [To Lee] I hate to break it to you pal, but your girlfriend over there a the world-class cheating gene.
* [Observing plane wreckage] Looks like somebody had a bad day.
* Why is it that one of us who wants to live the most, who deserves to live the most dies, and the ones that deserve to die keep on living? What's the message in that?
* That's how we deal with death. We can't change what it is, so we keep it light until it's time to get dark. And then we get pitch black.
* Rest in pieces.
* [To Maggie after killing Vilain] You know how to carve a turkey?
    Barney Ross: [To Maggie's first show of skills] You got guts... No common sense...

## Gunner Jensen

* [As Yang and the Chinese millionaire jump out of the plane] Now that's some real Chinese take out.

## Maggie

* [To Ross] If you need me, call me, or you're dead.

## Hector

* [Shoots a tired mine worker] Anybody else tired?

## Vilain

* Imagine if 6 pounds of pure plutonium is powerful enough to change the balance of the world. So, imagine what 5 tons would do.
* Don't challenge me.
* :[Ross charges in, guns blazing] Let's make it more dramatic. [Shoots out half the lights]

## Lee Christmas

* Hey, I'd hate to break up the bromance. We're twenty seconds late!

## General

    Lee Christmas, Barney Ross, Gunner Jensen, Hale Caesar, Toll Road: Beware, beware, walk with care / Care for what you do / Or mumbo jumbo's gonna hoo-doo you / Mumbo jumbo's gonna hoo-doo you / Boom-lay, boom-lay, boom-lay boom!

## Hale Caesar

* Great. Just what I need. 50-year-old pizza.

## Bill 'The Kid' Timmons

* How did you do that?

## Dialogue

    Barney Ross: I've heard another rumor, that you were bitten by a king cobra?
    Booker: Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.
    [After sniping off goons on speedboats]
    Barney Ross: This guy is good. Your good.
    Bill 'The Kid' Timmons: Appreciate it sir.
    [Barney and Lee are at a bar in Providence, RI with Lee's wife flirtingly waving to Lee]
    Barney Ross: Christmas, my friend. Please tell me you ain't going through with this.
    Lee Christmas: Course I am. Look at that girl. Who wouldn't marry her?
    Barney Ross: She cheated on you.
    Lee Christmas: It was a half-cheat.
    Barney Ross: Which is?
    Lee Christmas: The other side of a half-truth. The facts are murky.
    Barney Ross: Murky. I hate to break it to you pal, but your girlfriend over there a the world-class cheating gene.
    Lee Christmas: I should stab you in the heart.
    Barney Ross: Too late. [Lee's wife comes over]
    Lee Christmas: You know, I used to think you had a black heart. Black is too colorful.
    Lacy: [To Barney] Promise not to keep my baby way for so long?
    Barney Ross: Cross my heart. [Gets up to sit at a table with other colleagues]
    Lee Christmas: If he had one.
    Hale Caesar: [Referring to Barney] Look whose lost in space.
    Gunnar Jensen: Got a pen? [Barney takes out elaborately decorated pen]
    Lee Christmas: Hey, you got anything that doesn't have skulls on it?
    Barney Ross: Matter of fact, I don't.
    Gunnar Jensen: [Writes out physics equation on napkin and holds it up] Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, only I made it better. [Blows nose in napkin]
    [The crew is in the air and Gunner making strange grunting noise to get Maggie's attention despite being seated far apart]
    Gunner Jensen: She's into me.
    Hale Caesar: She hates you.
    Gunner Jensen: Watch this. [Feigns coughing and Maggie just stares at him unimpressed and Hale makes a throat slashing gesture with a razor blade]
    Lee Christmas: [To Barney] You know, if something happens to her, it's coming back on us. Did you ever think to ask for my opinion?
    Barney Ross: I told you ten times before, I didn't have a choice, unless you don't mind going to jail.
    Lee Christmas: Yeah, well, Church intimidated you.
    Barney Ross: Really?
    Lee Christmas: Yeah.
    Barney Ross: [Lee's phone rings] Oh, is that the woman you can never fully trust, calling again?
    Lee Christmas: [To Barney] You know, I will stab you one day. [To Lacy] Hey baby. Yeah, course I'm thinking about you. What else to think about? [Makes thumbs-down gesture to Barney]
    Barney Ross: [Scoffs] Hopeless.
    Maggie: [To Bill] Hey. You were in the Army, right? I can tell.
    Bill 'The Kid' Timmons: Yes, ma'am. Three years. Last tour was Afghanistan, Kunar Province.
    Maggie: Didn't like it anymore?
    Bill 'The Kid' Timmons: Uhh... long story.
    Maggie:
    Bill 'The Kid' Timmons: All right. I, uh, I was trained as sniper, and as an instructor, too. But, I actually wanted to mix it up, get in on the action. Uh, this one time, we're stuck out in this hell-hole valley. About 30 Taliban opened up from these house above us. And they got about eight of us pinned down bad. So I called in for artillery support. But; "no way", says the captain. Didn't wanna endanger the locals. So we scattered. Some crawled to a ditch, some... to the dry riverbed and the rest bailed, but... we were still stuck in the kill zone. And we battled for... I don't know, three hours. And finally, an Apache gunship chopper showed up to provide air cover. Scattered the Hadjis, but... smoke clears and four of my squad are dead in the ditch and two in the riverbed. Yeah, I was... mad and sick, all dead for nothing. You know, the most... screwed thing up of all... is when I got back to base that night, I found out that they shot this stray dog I had adopted. Commander's orders to get rid of all animals on the base. I mean, you'd think we had enough damn shooting for one day, you know? And, anyway, I, uh, I figured it was time to move on. I heard these guys were looking for someone, and here I am. [Maggie looks down and back heartfelt]
    Pilar: Who you are?
    Barney Ross: We're Americans.
    Lee Christmas: Since when?
    Gunner Jensen: Swedish.
    Hale Caesar: Blackfoot.
    Maggie: Chinese.
    Toll Road: Retards.
    Barney Ross: [To Toll Road] You done?
    Trench: [Church pulls up in a SmartCar My shoe is bigger than this car.
    Church: Shoot something!
    Trench: I need a weapon. Something big. [Eyeing Caesar's gun] Yours.
    Hale Caesar: Whoa, whoa, whoa. My big weapon's hangin' right where it is.
    Barney Ross: Come on, Caesar. You got a backup.
    Hale Caesar: [Reluctantly hands over his gun] If I don't get this back, your ass is terminated.
    Trench: In your dreams.
    Trench: I'll be back.
    Church: You've been back enough. I'll be back. [Leaves]
    Trench: Yippee-ki-yay.
    Gunner Jensen: I got a plan. Everybody calm down. Phosphate rock.
    Lee Christmas: What's he doing?
    Barney Ross: Probably making a bomb.
    Lee Christmas: You serious?
    Barney Ross: Ask him.
    Lee Christmas: What you doing, Gunner?
    Gunner Jensen: I'm making a bomb. You mind?
    Barney Ross: A maniac with brains.
    Lee Christmas: Scary.
    Lee Christmas: What's the plan?
    Barney Ross: Track him, find him, kill him.
    [Yang walks away]
    Gunner Jensen: Who am I gonna pick on?
    Yin Yang: You find some other minority.
    Lee Christmas: From one friend to another...
    Barney Ross: What?
    Lee Christmas: You really need to learn how to fight.
    Vilain: [To Billy] Are you afraid of me?
    Bill 'The Kid' Timmons: No, I'm not.
    Vilain: You should be.
    [Hector quickly props a knife against Billy's chest and Vilain kicks it into his chest]
    Toll Road: [Eating some spoiled food] Oh. This tastes like shit. [To Caesar] How's yours?
    Hale Caesar: Can't complain about rigatoni. Plan ahead, fellas. That's all I have to say. Y'all, what if you knew you were going to die tomorrow? What would your last meal be? One choice.
    Toll Road: One choice?
    Hale Caesar: It'd probably be cereal for you, huh?
    Toll Road: What the hell's wrong with cereal?
    Gunner Jensen: It's cliché.
    Hale Caesar: You gotta be original. You know, if you were an original, broad-thinking man, you'd probably come up with some special cereal, like Earios. You know, just like your ear. You know, pour milk on them suckers, they just lay there and you don't hear shit.
    Toll Road: For the record, my hearing is 20/20.
    Hale Caesar: Barney?
    Barney Ross: Donuts and most food that kills ya.
    Hale Caesar: That's deep, man.
    Barney Ross: [Chuckles] You think so?
    Hale Caesar: Maggie?
    Maggie: Crispy aromatic duck with plum sauce. Very sexy. [Pauses] But I like Italian, too.
    Hale Caesar: I'm starting to think Italian's overrated. [Everyone laughs]
    Gunner Jensen: Hey. What about me? My favorite Swedish dinner would be, baby seal, and whale ass, in the summer. [To Maggie] But I'd really die for some Chinese.
    Barney Ross: Then you're gonna starve to death. [Everyone laughs]
    Lee Christmas: [while the Sangs are attacking the Expendables] Can you hold them off?
    Barney Ross: Yeah, maybe with a tank. [The Sangs appear with a tank] Oh, shit!
    Lee Christmas: What?!
    Barney Ross: They've got a tank!
    Vilain: [After kicking Barney down] Over so soon? I want my money's worth! Come on! Get up!
    Barney Ross: Coming right up.
    [Barney attempts to rise, but Vilain kicks him down again]
    Vilain: Going back down.
    Maggie: I can get him to talk, and without so much effort. [She opens a large manicure/pedicure kit]
    Lee Christmas: What's she gonna do, give him a pedicure?
    Gunner Jensen: Booker. You're the one people call the Lone Wolf?
    Booker: I've been called that. But I have mellowed.
    Barney Ross: [Glances at the Sang soldiers Booker just killed] Not that much.
    Barney Ross: I thought you were the Lone Wolf.
    Booker: Sometimes, it's fun to run with the pack.
    Hale Caesar: [Driving around deserted war-ravaged streets] This is weird.
    Gunner Jensen: It's like home.
    Vilain: You must want to hurt me bad.
    Barney Ross: I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm gonna take your life.
    Lee Christmas: [Billy is running up the hill] Remember when you could do that?
    Barney Ross: No, do you?
    Gunner Jensen: [A bomb's fuse goes out] Well, the phosphorus must have been damp.
    Lee Christmas: Yeah, right.
    Toll Road: Or you suck.
    Hale Caesar: There's that.
    Maggie: Don't cry, Gunner.
    Barney Ross: You almost had an idea.
    [Lee's cell phone rings]
    Barney Ross: [Predicting mockingly] "Hello, darlin'."
    Lee Christmas: Hello, darlin'.
    Vilain: You wanna kill me like a man? Or you wanna kill me like a sheep? So. What's it going to be? Man or sheep?
    Barney Ross: You wanna man up? I'll man you up.
    Barney Ross: Trench?
    Trench: Oh, this is embarrassing.
    Barney Ross: Yeah, it sure is.
    Lee Christmas: What's he doing here?
    Trench: Saving this Chinese billionaire.
    Barney Ross: Oh, yeah? That's funny. So are we.
    Trench: Well, then we have a scheduling problem, don't we? [To Gunner] Cut me loose, Frankenstein.
    Barney Ross: Don't get nuts, Gunner. Do it.
    Barney Ross: Christmas, my friend. Please tell me you ain't going through this.
    Lee Christmas: Of course I am. Look at that girl. Who wouldn't marry her?
    Barney Ross: She cheated on you.
    Lee Christmas: It was a half-cheat.
    Barney Ross: Which is?
    Lee Christmas: The other side of a half-truth. The facts are murky.
    Barney Ross: Murky. I hate to break this to you, pal, but your girlfriend over there has a world-class cheating gene.
    Lee Christmas: I should stab you in the heart.
    Barney Ross: Too late.
    Barney Ross: I got an idea. And your ego, I think you're gonna love it.
    Lee Christmas: My ego?
    Barney Ross: Your ego.
    Lee Christmas: What do you mean, my ego?
    Barney Ross: You've got a big ego.
    Lee Christmas: Well, check your ego out.
    Barney Ross: Oh, please. Your ego is like the size of a dinosaur. Huge.
    Maggie: Can I ask you something?
    Barney Ross: Sure, go ahead.
    Maggie: Why are you so nervous around me?
    Barney Ross: I don't get nervous, Maggie.
    Maggie: Then what is it?
    Barney Ross: I just like keeping a distance.
    Maggie: Is it because you don't want to know anymore people?
    Barney Ross: Let's just say bad things have happened to people I've gotten close to.
    Maggie: Not a good way to live.
    Barney Ross: [Nods] I know.
    [Observing Vilain's paramilitary from a mountain]
    Barney Ross: I see about a dozen guards, light weapons, a couple of bad-ass .50 cals...
    Lee Christmas: Worse, anti-tank devices. There's no way our trucks will get through that minefield. Look, I know this is a stupid question but you got any ideas that won't get us killed?
    Barney Ross: I got a few I'm thinking about.
    [Flying in onto Vilain's paramilitary]
    Lee Christmas: Boom time?!
    Barney Ross: Boom time! [Lee readies cannon] Target in sight!
    Lee Christmas: Baby wants to travel!
    Barney Ross: Fire!
    Lee Christmas: Rock and roll!
    Barney Ross: Fire!
    Hale Caesar: Bombs away! [Drops explosives barrel] Tighten up!
    Maggie: What's happening now?!
    Lee Christmas: Chaos! [To Barney] You're not doing what I think you're doing?!
    Barney Ross: Yeah, I am!
    Lee Christmas: Let's do it! [Barney intentionally rams and crash lands his plane into the plutonium mine, Maggie nearly falls out and Gunnar saves her] You're gonna need a new plane.
    [The crew is in the air and Church is attempting radio contact]
    Church: CZ-1492, come on. Requesting a response immediately.
    Lee Christmas: Who's this bozo?
    Church: CZ-1492, this is a secure air wave. Do you read?
    Lee Christmas: What's this about?
    Church: What's taking so long, Barney Ross?! This should have been a walk in the park for you guys! Where's the case?!
    Barney Ross: Don't have it.
    Church: I warned you what would happen to you mutts if you pulled this shit again!
    Barney Ross: A good man died trying to get that case.
    Church: I'm sorry about that!
    Barney Ross: Are you?!
    Church: Yes, as a matter of fact, I am! But this sort of situation comes with the territory, wouldn't you say?!
    Barney Ross: And so does payback. You know, Church, you're the kind of guy that pulls the strings, and everyone else does your dirty work 'cause you never had the guts to do it yourself. We're done.
    Vilain: Ironic. Here we are, you and I. And your knife. You're going to die. Like him. What his name? What did you call him? What does it matter?
    Barney Ross: Come on, Vilain. Somebody's dying. Come on, Vilain. Come on, Vilain. Come on! [Whips Vilian with a large chain then beats him. Barney picks up his knife] Get up, Vilain. Get up. Now turn around. Turn around, sheep.
    Vilain: Now what?! [Barney throws the chain around Vilain's neck, pulls him toward his knife and stabs it into Vilain's stomach]
    Barney Ross: His name was Billy.
    Vilain: Respect is everything. Without respect, we are just people. Common, shitty people.
    Bill 'The Kid' Timmons: [to Ross] I'm sorry, sir.
    Barney Ross: It's not your fault... Now what?
    Vilain: We are both fighting men. And I respect that. But fighting men, they don't deserve to be killed like sheep. But, respect... must be taught.
    Maggie: I'm so sorry.
    Barney Ross: I believe you. What was in the case?
    Maggie: A computer. Blueprint of a mine.
    Barney Ross: A mine? [Shouts] What mine?!
    Maggie: The Russians stored nearly 5 tons of weapon-grade plutonium. The mine was abandoned after the Cold War. No one knows it's there. The blueprint shows where the plutonium is stored. We want to stop it before it gets into the wrong hands.
    Lee Christmas: I guess that didn't happen, did it? This kid so some dirt-bag can make bombs.
    Maggie: I'm so sorry.
    Barney Ross: Not as sorry as I am. [Referring to Bill] Let's take care of him.
    [Barney is holding an impromptu funeral service for Bill]
    Barney Ross: [Reading letter aloud] "Dear Sophia, I wish I could find something different to do besides than just miss you, but I can't. The team's treating me good. We got each other's backs. And I want you to know that wherever I end up, I'll be wanting the very best for you. And if some miracle happens, and I come back again, I hope I am still your man. Much love, Billy." [To the crew] Why is it that one of us, who wants to live the most, who deserves to live the most, dies? And the ones who deserves to die, keep on living? What's the message in that?
    Lee Christmas: What's the plan?
    Barney Ross: Track him, find him, kill him.
    Vilain: Now we know where it is. Right. Right.
    Hector: Okay. I know what to do.
    Vilain: Good, I want the plutonium out in three days.
    Hector: Three days?
    Vilain: I have people ready to pay four million a kilo now. Three days.
    Trent Mauser: We're even now, right?
    Barney Ross: Right. I'll be seeing you around Trench, thanks alot.
    Trent Mauser: Relax, it's not over yet.
    Barney Ross: What?
    Trent Mauser: That's right. [Mr. Church pulls up]
    Church: How ya doing pal?
    Barney Ross: I was doing pretty good, Church. What are you doing here?
    Church: I heard there was a part in town.
    Barney Ross: Yeah, but it's my party.
    Church: Has he always been this selfish?
    Trent Mauser: Always.
    Barney Ross: Thanks.
    Church: [Their helicopter escort lands] You wanna kick Vilain's ass or not? [Walks past them] Don't forget the little rascals!
    Church: Barney Ross.
    Barney Ross: What do you want from me, Church?
    Church: Not too good in the memory category, are you, Barney? You made me a deal with me. You gave me your word. And you end up blowing up half of Vilena, punching holes and a bowie knife through a fellow CIA agent, even if he was a dirtbag. But what breaks my heart is that you stole $5 million from me. And for all this male pattern badness, I could've put you in the deepest, darkest hole in Gitmo. No sunlight. But I kept you out.
    Barney Ross: Great.
    Church: Because I knew the day would come when you were gonna pay me back. Today is that day.
    Church: Did you win?
    Barney Ross: I think so.
    Trench: Well, where's the proof?
    Barney Ross: [Pulls out Vilain's head in a bag] Heads up. [Throws head onto the ground]
    Trench: Nice touch.
    Barney Ross: Mm-hm.
    Church: It is a nice touch. A little extreme, but nice.
    Trench: Mm-hm.
    Church: As much as I hate to say this, bam-bam, now that we got control of the plutonium, that makes us even.
    Barney Ross: Good.
    Church: So Maggie, you'll be coming with us? [She's silent] When you're ready. [He and Trench walk away and then stop to observe, with Maggie still watching]
    Barney Ross: So, I just want... [Barney realises Maggie is still watching Church and Trench and he makes a go-away-gesture to them]
    Church: Wow. [They walk to helicopter]
    Barney Ross: They're okay, just a little immature.
    Maggie: I don't have to go. If you want me to stay, I'll stay. And I did save the babysitter's life.
    Barney Ross: That you did do.
    Maggie: Maybe I'm good luck for you.
    Barney Ross: But I could be bad luck for you, and I can't allow that.
    Maggie: If you ever want help... call me, or you're dead.
    Barney Ross: I'll do that. [They walk to helicopter]
    Barney Ross: [To Booker sitting in helicopter] What are you doing here?
    Booker: Moving on. You killed all my business.
    Barney Ross: I thought you were the lone wolf.
    Booker: Sometimes its fun to run with the pack.
    Barney Ross: Sure, you got a point. You take care Maggie.
    Church: Oh, I almost forgot, as a token of gratitude my violent friend, I got you and the little rascals a ride home. [Motions head] Behold. Consider it a gift.
    Barney Ross: [Observing their new plane] That thing belongs in a museum.
    Trench: We all do.
    Church: Hey, fun, right?
    Barney Ross: Yeah, fun.
    Church: I'll be back
    Trench: Yippie-ki-yay

## Cast

* Sylvester Stallone as "Barney Ross"
* Jason Statham as "Lee Christmas"
* Jet Li as "Yin Yang"
* Randy Couture as "Toll Road"
* Dolph Lundgren as "Gunnar Jensen"
* Terry Crews as "Hale Caesar"
* Jean-Claude Van Damme as "Vilain"
* Liam Hemsworth as "Billy the Kid"
* Charisma Carpenter as "Lacy"
* Bruce Willis as "Mr. Church"
* Arnold Schwarzenegger as "Trent Mauser"
* Nan Yu as "Maggie"
* Amanda Ooms as "Pilar"

## Taglines

* What most people call hell, they call the retirement home.

## See also

* The Expendables (franchise)

## External links

* The Expendables 2 quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* The Expendables 2 at Rotten Tomatoes
* The Official Site