# The Amazing Race

The Amazing Race is an American television reality game show in which teams of two people, who have some form of a preexisting personal relationship, race around the world in competition with other teams.

## Season 1
### The Race Begins

    Drew: You have to hit six numbers to get a live human being on the phone.
    Kevin: It's amazing that you even got up this morning and tied your shoes.
    Drew: Nothing's free, Kevin! We're in Africa! You go to the Statue of Liberty, is the guy giving these things [maps] away for free? For cryin' out loud! Free!
    Drew: Zambia. That's where we are.
    Kevin: That's Namibia, jackass.
    Drew: You have to approach people in an affable, friendly way! You don't do it like you're in New York!
    Leslie: We're in, what, seventh place?
    Kim: I don't know, I can't do math right now.
    Kim: God, there are a lot of bugs out in the jungle. Go figure.
    Kevin: Swing, you fat bastard, swing!
    Ana: Once a moron, always a moron.
    Matt: Well, you fell in love with this moron.

### Divide And Conquer

    Karyn: When we win the money, he has to marry me.
    Drew: What's this elephant?
    Kevin: What elephant?
    Drew: This little statue here.
    Kevin: It's probably a little...a little tchotchke!
    Kevin: You're gonna get the window, you jerk.
    Drew: Don't worry about it.
    Kevin: You think you're whatchamacallit from Wild Kingdom. Jackass.
    Kevin: Is that an impala?
    Drew: Get the camera, get the camera!
    Kevin: It's a goat, it's a goat.
    Leslie: Who wants to go to Paris? I don't want to go to Paris. I hate Paris.
    Leslie: I'm looking for four [tickets]. And she's [Amie] not with me.
    Guido: How the hell can they help us? We lived in Paris for two years!
    Drew: How are you, buddy? You hangin' in there? Your legs hurtin'?
    Kevin: I'm an idiot! I'm a friggin' idiot.
    Drew: That's my boy. Always keepin' a sense of humor.
    Amie: You're a fat bitch!
    Leslie: She screamed at me like she'd scream at her boyfriend.
    Paul: How do they jump in our cab and just take it? In New York, they would have grabbed her out by the hair.
    Karyn: I'm really disappointed. Disappointed. Disappointed.
    Lenny: What did you say?
    Karyn: I'm disappointed.
    Lenny: Well, that ain't nothing new.
    Emily: The only monument I know is that Arc d'Whatever.
    Leslie: I don't know where that little cute couple that hates our guts are.
    Karyn: You're not going to shake my hand? We're not out, and you're not going to shake my hand?

### Home For Some

    Rob: Life is a game of minutes.
    Frank: Onward to victory!
    Amie: [while sleeping outside] Ah, this is the life.
    Kevin: We have no food, we have no water...we're all set.
    Drew: Good night, Kevin.
    Kevin: Good night, Drew. [pauses] Good night, John-Boy.
    Nancy: Why didn't you go to the hotel?
    Amie: What hotel?
    Drew: I just don't think the city's [Paris] anything special. I rate it no better than SoHo.
    Drew: Geez, why did I think it was gonna be an old guy who looked like Ben Franklin?
    Joe: I can't wait to see the big pendulum!
    Margarita: Do you need me?
    Frank: I just need your brain, I don't need your emotions.
    Rob: The Guidos try to hold other people back with deceit and trickery.
    Joe: Bonjour! Bonjour! Hey, big strong guys like you, how come you're not doing the steps? Don’t you need a little aerobic exercise?
    Joe: They don’t know Paris, and they don't know where they're going.
    Joe: It would be just our luck to lose this thing in Paris when we lived here for two years.
    Drew: Who's better than us, here, on top of the South of France? With everybody lookin' at our behinds, no less.
    Mayor of Les Baux de Provence: Welcome. You are -
    Joe: We're team number three!
    Mayor of Les Baux de Provence: You are team number four.
    Brenda: Who knew that there were two Foucault pendulums in Paris?

### Colossal Showdown

    Margarita: It wasn't about not working together.
    Joe: It's about winning now. It's about winning and not letting anybody else win.
    Margaretta: David and I have been married for forty years. We're just doing our normal thing. There's nothing on this trip that will make or break us.
    Bill: Control the game, period. Play the game our way. Group Guido arranged the whole passage. No one can leave without this ticket. I controlled the group, intimidated the whole group by speaking French for two hours to the people that were there, also leaving doubt in their mind what I was doing. The other contestants? Of course, we're playing them like a violin, you know?
    Lenny: I want to rip their heads off and show them their hearts.
    Drew: What does it say? "Go Here"? Oh. I thought it said "Go Home".
    Paul: They were rippin' my skin off.
    Amie: Really? Mine was pretty nice.
    Drew: You saw what that was like in Midnight Express.
    Joe: The first circle inside the big concentric circle!
    Emily: [after lighting the Coliseum on fire] Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, stop!
    Kevin: I thought I heard him. You can't miss that mouth.
    Kevin: Take the elevator to the Coliseum floor!
    Frank: Pit Of Death, here I come.
    Amie: I'll do it. I gotta pee, but I'll do it.
    Amie: Olympic torch, kiddos!
    Phil: David and Margaretta, you're the last team to arrive at this leg. You've been eliminated. I'm sorry to tell you that.
    Dave: And I'm sorry to hear it. But I want to tell you, this is a tough group to compete against, and I don't think it's any disgrace to lose to them. They're all great people, and we did our best, and we wish them lots of luck.

### Desert Storm

    Drew: Alright, so what do you think that arrow means? I gotta pee, I might as well do it right here.
    Kevin: It means go right, stupid. It means Drew is a dumbass.

## Season 4
### We're Not At Charm School Learning How To Be A Gentleman, We're Racing

    Kelly: You’re always right, I’m always wrong. We’re done. [sighs]
    Jon: Kelly, go [bleep] yourself.
    Kelly: What did you just say to me? What did you just say to me? I’ll tell you what, Jon, you’re walking a thin line. This was a chance we decided to take, but you will not talk to me like that.

## Season 5
### It Just Turned Ugly Right Now

    Mirna: The prostitute would know where the discotheque is wouldn't she?
    Karen: Mirna & Charla are at a great disadvantage-
    Linda: And their kickin' our butts!

### Are You Good At Puzzles?

    Marshal: Stop looking at the camel.

### It's Okay, Run Them Over!

    Colin: Detour, plow or fowl? What do you think, a thousand ducks?
    Christie: The plow.
    Colin: Start looking in through here, you know what I mean?
    Christie: How are you doing it?
    Colin: I can't control where he goes, baby.
    Christie: Keep looking.
    Colin: Which way?
    Christie: Keep looking, on bottom.
    Colin: You're not even helping me look, baby. You're just standing around.
    Christie: There's not much I can do, baby. It's gonna be in the plowed area, it's gonna be deep. That's why you gotta be really looking, in the plowed area.
    Christie: Do you understand?…
    Colin: I UNDERSTAND!
<cut to Chip & Kim trying to find a way to get to Manila>
    Colin: WHERE'S HE GOING?! NO, IN THIS FIELD!!! Oh my god.
    Colin: MY OX IS BROKEN!!! THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!
<cut to Chip & Kim getting on a bus to Manila>
    Christie: Colin, is it impossible to control him?
    Christie: Please answer me when I talk to you. If there's any way possible that you can not wander aimlessly…
    Colin: Do you know how hard it is to look down and try to drive him? Do you know how difficult that is? It wasn't this hard for the other teams. I can guarantee you that much!
    Christie: Grab the plow!
    Colin: I CAN'T GET HIM TO GO OVER THERE!!!
    Christie: Well, calm down…
    Colin: WHY DO YOU KEEP TURNING?!
    Christie: Colin, why don't you learn how to control it?
    Colin: I'M TRYING!!!
    Christie: Listen to yourself, no wonder you can't control it!
    Colin: See, I can't make him go over there!
    Christie: I don't want another word coming out of your mouth.
    Colin: Oh my god, I hate you.
    Christie: Just plow…
    Colin: COME ON!!!
<escalating music, then commercial>
    Colin: WOAH, WOAH!!! Stupid ox! No! STAY IN THE FIELD!!!
    Colin: GET THE F*CK OVER HERE AND HELP LOOK!!!
    Christie: It's so deep, Colin…
    Colin: I DON'T CARE!!! WALK THROUGH WITH YOUR FEET UNTIL YOU FEEL IT!!!
    Christie: (finds clue) It's right here.
    Colin: Oh my god.
    Christie: (reading clue) Find the Pit Stop, the Coconut Palace.

## Season 6
### Tell My Mom I Love Her

    Hayden: We have been just lollygagging and when I’m not high-paced and aggressive, we suck. Where do I go?
    Aaron: Hayden, I have not a clue.
    Hayden: How do you not know?!
    Aaron: You are such–
    Hayden: No! I’m not a bitch! I'm not any of that! We’re lost going out of here! Aaron, you need to do something or I’m going to hyperventilate!

## Season 7
### Courteous? This Is A Race!

    Ryan: Were about do take a zip line down the mountain. Were gonna be the first ones to load test it.
    Ryan: hey look out for the cactuses!

### The Whole Country Hates Me

    Lynn: Oh my god, I just got totally hated.

### Do You Need Some Mouth-To-Mouth Resuscitation?

    [Rob and Amber steal Debbie and Bianca's taxi]
    Cab Driver: I'm waiting for them.
    Rob: Oh no, it's okay. We'll take them. We're going to go with you. How much? How much did they pay?
    Cab driver: Four.
    Rob: I'm paying ten. Open it up.
    [Rob and Amber drive away in the cab]
    Rob: That'll teach them for accusing someone of lying.
    Bianca: Debbie, do you see a cab?
    Debbie: No.
    Bianca: This is retarded. Now we got to catch another cab.
    Phil Keoghan: A roadblock is a task in only one person may perform. In this roadblock, that person has to eat a traditional Argentine meal. They consist of cow ribs, pork sausage, blood sausage, cow intestine, cow udder, an entire kidney, and part of a cow's saliva gland. Each person's portion weighs four pounds. When they finish eating, they'll get their next clue.
    [Deana takes the meat roadblock]
    Lynn: Go Deana, go Deana, go Deana, go Deana, it's your vomit, go Deana.
    Deana: What is all this stuff? I'm not going to-
    Ray: Do your best.
    Deana: My stomach ain't big enough for this.
    Ray: We've made a terrible mistake.

### What A Gaucho You Are

Alex and Lynn, Ron and Kelly, Uchenna and Joyce and Brian and Greg are on the first flight to Buenos Aires getting ready to depart.
    Alex: Rob and Amber didn't make it, yay!
    Lynn: I'm so excited that they didn't make it. Survive that.
    [Rob and Amber gets on the plane for Buenos Aires]
    Brian: No freaking way.
    Greg: That's horsecrap!
    Rob: Rob, how's your stomach? [laughing]
    Kelly: Rob's strategy to quit worked and that just made me sick.
    Lynn: If that had been any other team, they would have literally gotten an applause; but the fact that it was Rob and Amber, it was just terrible.
    Alex: I hate them. I hate them so much.
    Lynn: The bottom line is they're [Rob and Amber] kind of like an STD. You gotta protect yourself from them and the only way you can do it is just keep yourself away from them.
    [Ray shows contempt for Meredith and Gretchen]
    Ray: Those people don't belong in this game with us... I'm not losing to a 70-year-old man and his wife.
    [Susan and Patrick's boat stops working]
    Patrick: We already know that we're in last place and that was the end of Patrick and Susan.

### I've Been Wanting A Facelift For A Long Time

    [Ray accidentally hits Deana's head with the pounding stick in the food and water detour]
    Deana: Ow, Ray!
    Ray: Deana.
    Deana: You could at least apologize.
    Ray: The problem is that we don't work together.
    Deana: You can do this yourself.
    Ray: That's right, give up!

### Houston, We Have An Elephant

    Kelly: You told me to "shut the 'F' up".
    Ron: No, I didn't!
    Kelly: You piece of trash redneck.

### Mow 'Em Down Like Grass

Rob and Amber arrives first at the Lucknow mat only to find out that this is a double-length leg.
    Phil Keoghan: Rob and Amber, Welcome to Lucknow.
    Rob and Amber: Thank you.
    Phil Keoghan: You guys probably think that this is the end of the leg,
    Amber: But?
    Phil Keoghan: I don't want to hold you up. I have your other clue.
    Amber: Are you serious?
    Phil Keoghan: You're still racing. This leg is not over.

### We Have A Bad Elephant

    [Uchenna and Joyce reach the Fast Forward and find out they have to participate in a head shaving ritual.]
    Joyce: I knew that was coming. I freaking knew it!
    Joyce: [Sobbing] It's already gone.
    [Amber's camel becomes uncontrollable]
    Amber: Go! Go! Go! No! No!
    Gretchen: Good, good he's going in the other direction. Go around the track the other way. [laughing]
    Rob: Oh God, please no. Oh God no.
    Gretchen: We've got an obstinate camel!

### The Devil Made Me Do It

    Amber: We have no idea what a dervish is.
    Rob: I think it's a topless woman.
    Ron: She [Kelly] really surprised me and I think I've seen everything that I want to see out of her on this race.

### Five Continents, 25 Cities, And More Than 40,000 Miles

    [Rob and Amber's cab is pulled over by the police]
    Joyce: You gotta cooperate with the police. That's too bad.
    Rob: That cop probably just cost us a million dollars.
    [The final three teams are in Jamaica performing the final detour of the race building rafts and Ron and Kelly are falling behind.]
    Kelly: I want you to look at everybody else. They're a lot farther than us and look what they're doing.
    Ron: I understand that. I've never built one of these before. That's what I'm trying to explain to you. When you figure out how to build one, you tell me.
    Kelly: Smart "A".

## Season 10
### We Just Won't Die, Like Roaches

    Ticket Lady: It’s not okay.
    Dustin and Kandice: Can we try? Can we please try?
    Ticket Lady: [in a stern voice] I said the flight is closed.
    Dustin: She’s just a bitch.
    Kandice: She’s so unhelpful and so unkind.
    Kandice: We just want to get out of here before I have to see ‘Bama.
    Karlyn: That one can’t even look over here. [Karlyn flips the bird at Dustin and Kandice]
    Lyn: Don’t do that. That’s ugly.
    Karlyn: Sorry.
    Rob: I can’t believe they [Dustin and Kandice] yielded ‘Bama, dude. That’s kind of crappy, dude.
    Karlyn: We just won’t die, like roaches. [laughing] We gotta keep coming back.

## Season 11 All-Stars
### I Told You Less Martinis And More Cardio

    Drew: We're five years older, five years more out of shape.
    Kevin: I was a circle then. I'm an oval now, I suppose.
    John Vito: I've had enough of Rob and Amber. I think America may have also.
    Joyce: I can't believe we're doing this again!
    Uchenna: This is the chance of a lifetime twice.

## Season 12
### EPISODE 1

    Ari: [to donkey] If you lose this race for us, I'm going to kick your ass.
    Ari: You listen right here. You make me lose this, I'm gonna cut you up and eat you.
    Nathan: Gosh!
    Jennifer: Come on sweetheart
    Nathan: Gosh!gytttr
    Jennifer: You can't yell like that!
    Donkey: [Makes donkey noises]
    Nathan: I don't know what's wrong with him.
    Nathan: The freaks [Kynt and Vyxsin] just got ther

### EPISODE 2

    Ron: [to Christina] You need to lose some weight. [Bike falls] Whoa! I should've not made that comment.

### EPISODE 4

    Jason: If we don't get eliminated, we're gonna screw over the blondes [Shana and Jennifer].
    Phil: Shana and Jennifer, you're team number six.
    Jennifer: Whooo!
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