# "Weird Al" Yankovic

Alfred Matthew "Weird Al" Yankovic (born October 23, 1959) is an American musician, satirist, parodist, accordionist, and television producer.

## Quotes

* Alanis Morissette and I actually used to date. I especially liked it when we went to the movies.
** AL TV, MTV, 1996; referring to the line "Is she perverted like me/would she go down on you in a theater" from Morissette's breakout hit You Oughta Know.
* That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
** I Love the 90's Part Deux, VH1, 1998; referring to Willow Rosenberg from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
* I wrote "Eat It" because I wanted to buy a banana boat for Christmas. It worked.
** I Love the 80's 3D, VH1, 1985.
* I have very mixed feelings about [Napster]. On one hand, I'm concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!!!!!
** Ask Al Archives: May 2000.
* What kind of bananas do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?
** Replying to a fan criticising the poor seats a reviewer of a concert received. "Ask Al" Q&As for September 6, 2004.
* I think my chances of getting into the Rock 'N' Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli's.
** Ask Al Archives: August 2003.
* Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB.
** Weird Al Yankovic tackles Life's BIG Questions.
* Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don't make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.
** Celebrity Baby Scoop interview, 2 Feb 2011

### Song lyrics

* If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it.
** "This Is the Life", Dare to Be Stupid (1984).
* My brothers and sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child.
** "Generic Blues", UHF soundtrack (1989) .
* I'll never forget the first thing she said to me, she said: "Hey - you've got weasels on your face." Right then I knew it was true love.
** "Albuquerque", Running with Scissors.
* Look If you had one shot to sit on your lazy butt and watch all the TV you ever wanted until your brain turned to mush Would you go for it? or just let it slip? Yo
** "Couch Potato", Poodle Hat.
* Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media I edit Wikipedia
** "White & Nerdy", Straight Outta Lynwood (2006).
* I'm nerdy in the extreme Whiter than sour cream
** "White & Nerdy".
* I sued Taco Bell 'Cause I ate half a million Chalupas And I got fat! I sued Panasonic They never said I shouldn't use their microwave To dry off my cat!
** "I'll Sue Ya", Straight Outta Lynwood (2006).
* Oh, you don't wanna mess with the R-I-double-A They'll sue you if you burn that CD-R It doesn't matter if you're a grandma, or a seven-year-old girl They'll treat you like the evil, hard-bitten, criminal scum you are
** "Don't Download This Song", Straight Outta Lynwood (2006).
* Never had a date That you couldn't inflate
** "You're Pitiful" (2006), Internet-released song
** "You're Pitiful" (MP3). Al-oholics Anonymous (June 2006). Retrieved on 2007-01-22.
* We only torture the folks we don't like You're probably gonna be okay.
** "Party in the CIA (Alpocalypse, 2011)

## See also

* UHF

## External links

* "Weird Al" Yankovic on IMDb