# Last Action Hero

Last Action Hero is a 1993 film about a young film fan who, with the help of a magic ticket, is transported into the fictional world of his favorite action film character.
    Directed by John McTiernan. Written by Shane Black, David Arnott, and William Goldman.

## Jack Slater

* Silent but deadly.
* You've seen these movies where they say "Make my day" or "I'm your worst nightmare"? Well, listen to this one: rubber baby buggy bumpers!
* No sequel for you...
* Gee, did you make a movie mistake? You forgot to reload the damn gun!
* Iced that guy...to cone a phrase.
* NO SHOOT!
* Hey, you want to be a farmer? Here's a couple of acres!
* Put a sock in it! I don't care who does what to your Hershey highway. And stop shouting, I'm not deaf! You know why you are shouting? Because it's in the script. You're the comic relief. Yes. And you know what else? I am the hero. SO SHUT UP!

## Benedict

* [To Danny Madigan] I should tell you that I have killed people smarter and younger than you.
* [Directly to the audience] If God was a villain - he'd be me.
* [After shooting a pedestrian dead] HELLO!? I've just shot somebody and I did it on purpose!

## Dialogue

    [At school, Danny Madigan is daydreaming of Arnold Schwarzenegger as Hamlet; he is confronting Claudius about the death of his father]
    Hamlet: [lights a cigar] Hey, Claudius....you killed my father. [picks Claudius up] Big mistake.
    [He hurls him, screaming, through a window]
    Narrator: Something is rotten in the state of Denmark! And, Hamlet is taking out the trash!
    [Hamlet is shown killing people with skulls and swords]
    Old Man: Stay thy hand, fair prince!
    Hamlet: Who said I'm fair? [produces a submachine gun and shoots him, plus several other soldiers]
    Narrator: No one is going to tell this sweet prince goodnight!
    Hamlet: To be, or not to be. [lights a cigar] Not to be.
    [An explosion occurs behind him]
    Tough Asian Man: May I help you?
    Jack: Yes. Could I speak to the drug dealer of the house, please?
    Tough Asian Man: I beg your pardon?
    Jack: It's a beautiful day and we're out killing drug dealers. Are there any in the house?
    [The Tough Asian Man closes the house door]
    Danny: Wait. Where are you going?
    Jack: I'll be back. Ha! You didn't know I was gonna say that, did you?
    Danny: That's what you always say.
    Jack: I do.
    Danny: Everybody keeps waiting for you to work it in. It's kinda like...your calling card.
    Benedict: I understand you are interested in drug dealers.
    Jack: Yes.
    Danny: [whispering] Jack, that's him, the henchman with the glass eye.
    Jack: Sir, are you a henchman?
    Benedict: No, I only go as far as lackey. Anything else?
    Jack: Yeah, take off your sunglasses.
    Benedict: Who's asking?
    Jack: [shows police badge] The Tin Man.
    Benedict: Well, Tin Man, suppose you hit the bricks.
    Jack: Nah, they're the wrong color.
    Benedict: Are they? Oh dear, by all means let's change them. Would arterial red suit you? [motions behind them, they turn to see guard dogs] Make no mistake, they are exceptionally well-trained. [snaps fingers, the dogs form in a pyramid] I snap my fingers again and sometime tomorrow, you emerge from several canine recta. Or you and Toto can go back to the land of Oz. Questions?
    Jack: Yeah... two of them. [casually lights cigar] Why am I wasting my time on a dimestore putz like you, when I could be doing something more dangerous... like rearranging my sock drawers? And two - how exactly are you going to snap your fingers, after I rip off both of your thumbs?
    [Benedict's guard dogs whimper]
    Benedict: [pausing before revealing smiley-face glass eye] Have a nice day.
    [Benedict has drawn his revolver on his own boss after Slater thwarts his plans again]
    Vivaldi: What is this, Benedict? First you're my friend, now you turn a... [makes twirling motion with finger] 360 on me?!
    Benedict: 180, you stupid spaghetti-slurping cretin! 180! If I did a 360, I'd go completely around and end up back where I started.
    Vivaldi: [confused] ...What?
    Benedict: Trust me. [shoots Vivaldi]
    Ripper: Hey, Jack. What kept you?
    Jack: Are you alright, Danny?
    Danny: Yes, sir.
    Ripper: You know, I tried to change, Jack. I really tried to do what he told me. But I kept hearing that old music. That's how I knew you'd come, Jack. Now lose the piece.
    Jack: [throws gun away] There, now it's between you and me. Let the boy go.
    Ripper: Now we've played this number before haven't we, Jack? Let's see, what comes next.... You throw the gun away. Right, we did that part... [lays down axe] Then, you tell me to let the kid go... Ah, I'm getting bored, why don't we just skip to the end? [tosses Danny off the building]

## Taglines

* He's mean . . . And he'll blast through your screen! [DVD cover]
* Did Someone Say Action? [Theatrical]
* The big ticket for '93.
* A great classic comes to the screen.
* This isn't the movies anymore.

## Cast

* Arnold Schwarzenegger - Jack Slater, Arnold Schwarzenegger
* Austin O'Brien - Danny Madigan
* Charles Dance - Benedict
* Bridgette Wilson - Whitney Slater
* Mercedes Ruehl - Irene Madigan
* F. Murray Abraham - John Practice
* Tom Noonan - Ripper/Hmself
* Frank McRae - Lieutenant Dekker
* Anthony Quinn - Tony Vivaldi
* Brdgette Wilson - Whitney Slater and Meredith Caprice
* F. Murray Abraham - John Practice
* Mercedes Ruehl - Irene Madigan
* Art Carney - Frank Slater
* Professor Toru Tanaka - Tough Asian Man
* Ryan Todd - Andrew Slater

### Cameo appearances

* Franco Columbu appears during the opening credits as director of Jack Slater IV.
* Tina Turner appears at the climax of Jack Slater III as the mayor of Los Angeles.
* Sylvester Stallone - the Terminator
* Model/actress Angie Everhart - video store clerk
* Wilson Phillips appears singing during the funeral scene.
* Ian Mckellen - Death
* Danny DeVito (uncredited) - the voice of Whiskers

## Quotes about Last Action Hero

* The worst time I’ve ever had in this business.
** John McTiernan, 5 Things You Might Not Know About Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Notorious Flop ‘Last Action Hero’, IndieWire, 27 June 2013

## External links

* Last Action Hero quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* Last Action Hero at Rotten Tomatoes