# JAG (season 2)

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JAG (1995–2005), is an American TV series about fictional events at the Navy's Judge Advocate General's Corps. JAG is an elite legal wing of officers trained as lawyers who investigate, prosecute and defend those accused of crimes in the military, including murder, treason and terrorism. Most of the stories focus on the highs and lows of Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr., a hot-shot fighter pilot-turned lawyer who brings his fly-boy mentality to the courtroom, and Major Sarah MacKenzie, a tough, by-the-book Marine who often clashes with him, in and out of the courtroom.

## We the People [2.1]

    RADM A.J. Chegwidden: Well done, Commander.
    LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Thank you, sir.
    LTJG Bud Roberts: Very well done, sir
    RADM A.J. Chegwidden: Don't over do it, Mr. Roberts, he's a naval aviator. With his wings comes an ego as big as an Admiral's.
    LTJG Bud Roberts: One or two stars, sir? (silence) I was joking,sir
    RADM A.J. Chegwidden: Lieutenant J.G.s don't joke with admirals, son, it could get him transferred to a supply ship in the Aleutians. Joking is strictly an admiral's privilege.
    Maj Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: We have 33 minutes, Commander.
    LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How do you do that?
    Maj Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I've got great timing.
    LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Hey, there's a bed back here.
    Maj Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: So?
    LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, it fits our cover story.
    LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I keep forgetting I don't know you.
    Maj Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Deja vu again?
    LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Only whenever I see your face. Or hear you talk. I wouldn't know about your smile, I haven't seen one yet.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: There's not much to smile about.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I guess not.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Sounds like I have a twin out there.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Not anymore.
    Colonel Matt O'Hara: Where did you find this sailor, Sarah?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: In a rose garden, Uncle Matt.

## Secrets [2.2]

    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Leave it to the Marines.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Most people do.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You all right, Admiral?
    Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: I'm fine, Commander, but this Private's got a problem.
    Capt. Gayle Osbourne: Hello, Admiral. Nice to know you're alive.
    Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: You don't expect me to return that compliment, do you?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You have access to a lot of places for a Special Assistant to an Undersecretary of State.
    Special Agent Clayton Webb: I am a Special Assistant to State. Sometimes.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: And other times?
    Special Agent Clayton Webb: I do other things. Doesn't everybody in Washington?
    Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: We're running out of time, here, son.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Three minutes if you're right about Osbourne only giving us a half hour, Admiral.
    Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: How the hell do you do that, Major?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I don't really know, sir, but I'm never off by more than 30 seconds.

## Jinx [2.3]

    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What is that?
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: It's a cell phone, sir!
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I know that! What's it doing up here?!
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Does that mean you're not mad at me anymore, sir?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I was never mad at you, Bud! It's Mac that's always complaining about you!
    Annie Pendry: Don't worry, I still have faith in you. You're basically good material.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Basically?
    Annie Pendry: Well, I mean, if you were perfect, don't you think you would have fallen in love by now?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I'm working on it. (reaches out to stroke her hair)
    Annie Pendry: Is that why you come here? Because you think we need you?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: At first, yeah. But, somewhere along the way I stopped coming just to check in on you.
    Annie Pendry: Harm, I don't want to start something for the wrong reasons. You just do more damage than good when you leave.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Then maybe I shouldn't leave.
    Annie Pendry: No, you have to.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Why?
    Annie Pendry: Because I want you to stay!
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, now I know I'm confused.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Hell, Lieutenant, looks like your luck's changing.
    Lt. Pete 'Pistol' Ayers: I thought you didn't believe in luck, sir.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Only the good kind. Well, Lieutenant, I'd fly with you anytime. You're untouchable.

## Heroes [2.4]

    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Objection. Your honor, the prosecution has just gone from speculation to fantasy.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: If you have some evidence I should know about...
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You'll eventually get it, and then you can plea bargain.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: In your dreams, Commander.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Oh, you don't want to be in my dreams, Major.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Red light, Commander.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Red light? There was nothing sexual in what I said, and if you think there was, then maybe, I should give you the red light.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Commander, you gave it your best and came up short. When you grasp for straws like that letter, maybe its time to punch out.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Punching out is the last thing a pilot ever wants to do. People think you get in trouble, pull the magic handle, and float safely to the ground? Every time you punch out you end up an inch shorter.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: No problem, Commander, you've got a few inches to spare.
    Chief Herradin: Takes a big man to admit he's wrong, Commander.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, I don't know about being a big man. But I was wrong.
    Chief Herradin: You're damn right you were wrong. My son died for his country. You tried to take that away from me.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: He didn't die for his country, Chief. He died for you.
    Chief Herradin: (chuckles) What's that supposed to mean?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Your son was HIV positive.
    Chief Herradin: What?
    Harm: And he couldn't admit that to you. Or that he was a homosexual. So rather than face you, he stood up into Chief Connors' line of fire.
    Chief Herradin: (disbelieving look)
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Congratulations on your son's Navy cross, Chief.
    (throws his entire glass of beer in Chief Herradin's face)
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: (cont'd): You earned it.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Cute does not work on me, Harm.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I wasn't being cute. I was being funny.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, like the way you fired that H&K in court?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, I thought it was pretty funny when you ducked under the table.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm a Marine, Harm. Marines don't duck.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What do Marines do?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: They take cover, but they never duck.

## Crossing the Line [2.5]

    Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: [After entering] Sir, Lieutenant Elizabeth Hawkes, sir. CAG asked me to give you these.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm Major MacKenzie JAG Corps.
    Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Everyone aboard knows who your are ma'am. [They both shake hands]
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm interested why you two took part in Crossing the Line ceremony.
    Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Same thing all the women were, important to be one of the guys.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Were you improperly touched or sexually harassed?
    Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Not so far as noticed.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Do you feel you were singled out because of your sex?
    Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: No Sir.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Even when you were forced to danced with Lieutenant Issacs?
    Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: The only problem was we both wanted to lead. They treated everyone pretty bad.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Let me ask you a hypothetical question. What would you have done if someone had grabbed you?
    Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: A woman who can't handle some grab-ass jerk doesn't belong in the Navy.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Thank you, Lieutenant.
    Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Skates, ma'am, that's what they all call me.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Skates?
    Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Grew up on wheels. Permission to speak freely ma'am, sir? [pause] For a woman to be 'one of the guys', sometimes she has to be willing to give up somethings of herself. You know, be less of a woman. Sometimes it sucks.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: So the question is, why should she have to be 'one of the guys'?
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: You look nice. Uh, I'm sorry, I did not mean that.
    Ens. Harriet Sims: So you don't think I look nice?
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Well, I just don't know if it was appropriate to say. I outrank you, and I may have inadvertently uttered a yellow-light remark.
    Ens. Harriet Sims: You have an ulterior motive, Lieutenant?
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: No! I don't think I do.
    Ens. Harriet Sims: Then I'll choose to believe you were sincere.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You grounded Lieutenant Isaacs after a substandard landing. The LSO log indicates: OSCB, EGAR, DNKH.
    Capt. Thomas Boone (CAG): That's correct.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Can you tell me what those initials stand for, sir?
    Capt. Thomas Boone (CAG): OSCB, Over Shot Came Back. EGAR, Eased Gun At Ramp.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What about, uh... DNKH?
    Capt. Thomas Boone (CAG): Well, that's the technical one, Major. Damn Near Killed Herself.
    Capt. Thomas Boone (CAG): (re: carrier aviation) You miss it?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sometimes. Never at night.
    Ens. Harriet Sims: I want you to kiss me.
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Green light?
    (they kiss)
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: (watching from a distance) I just had a scary thought.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Their children?

## Trinity [2.6]

    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I though you said this Barnes was a ghost.
    Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: Well, Major, I guess that makes you two ghostbusters.
    Barkeep: This clientele consists solely of self-declared degenerates.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Any IRA?
    Barkeep: No. Just your regular thieving bastards. We're not political.
    Lt. Linda Nivens: No, I'm coming with you.
    Lorcan Barnes: I'm afraid I can't have that.
    Lt. Linda Nivens: (re: Commander Rabb) You're taking him.
    Lorcan Barnes: He's insurance. I don't look at you in the same way. No offense.
    Lt. Linda Nivens: He's my son, too, Lorcan.
    Lorcan Barnes: Aye, and he'll need a parent left to raise him. (kisses her) God be with ye, my love.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I'll get him back, Lieutenant.
    Lt. Linda Nivens: Bring them both back, sir.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Is all of it? Necessary? The violence?
    Lorcan Barnes: Only legitimate targets.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Still, there are always alternatives to killing.
    Lorcan Barnes: Well, you can afford such civility, can't ye? You have your liberty. Spilt a fair share of British blood for it, too, if I recall.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: It was a different time, different place.
    Lorcan Barnes: Different war. And what the hell do you think this is?

## Ghosts [2.7]

    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: So you abducted him, coerced him into drinking alcohol, and then forced him into the trunk of a car.
    Midshipman Danvers: Yes, sir.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: At any point did you try to revive him?
    Midshipman Danvers: Yes ma'am, we tried to get him on his feet and walking, but he had stopped breathing. Malcolm - Midshipman Holmes - even tried mouth-to-mouth resecitatation.
    (Bud and Mac laugh)
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Can I see you outside a moment, Major? You too, Lieutenant.
    (they leave the office)
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You think this funny?
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: No, sir.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Come on, Harm, you've got to admit…
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Bill is dead, Mac! They killed him!
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Harm, he's a goat. They gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a goat!
    Laura Delaney: Is it unreasonable to think that love should rank above some stoic warrior ethic?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: He probably just wants to protect you, ma'am.
    Laura Delaney: I don't want protection. I want to share things. He has no right to shut me out.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's not his fault, ma'am it's what he's been trained to do. But the Admiral is smart, and smart people can be retrained.
    Laura Delaney: Even the old ones?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: (smiles) I have no opinion about that, ma'am.
    P.O. Jason Tiner: (re: Osbourne) Sorry sir, he got past me. Should I call security?
    Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: No. I might order them to shoot him.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yes, please.
    FBI Analyst: Well, that's nice. No one around here says please or thank you.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, thank you's my favorite word.
    FBI Analyst: Yes is mine.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: That depends on the question
    FBI Analyst: Dinner. At Indigo's on Wisconsin Saturday night. Yes?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yes.
    Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: Try out my chair, commander, my guess is it's going to be yours in a couple years. (Harm hesitates) Go ahead, Rabb, it's not gonna turn you into a growling old salt, you'd have to grow a couple stars for that.
    Clayton Webb: It'll never stand up in court you know.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Doesn't have to. What would happen if "the company" heard this tape Clay?
    Clayton Webb: They'd put a sweeper on him. Osbourne would disappear faster than a...than an Ethiopian chicken.

## Full Engagement [2.8]

    Marine: Tell the lieutenant.
    Seaman Angel Munoz: What?
    Marine: When were you born?
    Seaman Angel Munoz: August 17.
    Marine: 1980. What does that make him, sir?
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: A Leo.
    Marine: Sixteen, sir.
    Seaman Angel Munoz: He's not answering. He's either not at home, in the shower, having sex, or dead. Or a combination.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I can't out run them, Harm. You go.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Like that's really gonna happen.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Come on, let's go.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I can't. I'm sorry. I can't.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What do you mean you can't? You're a Marine! Come on, Mac, what happened to that gung-ho, Semper Fi, kick-ass jarhead I used to know? Don't let me down now, Mac, we've made it this far. Damn it. This is precisely why we shouldn't allow women in combat. 'Cause when it come to the clinch you know they're gonna fall apart. If you were a real Marine-
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: All right, already, shut up! You've made your point. (gets to her feet, struggles up the hill)
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What happened to Sarah?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Nothing. She lives in Bellville, Pennsylvania.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You still love her?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I'm wild about her. She's my grandmother.

## Washington Holiday [2.9]

    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Do I have a say in this, sir?
    Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: Not if you're smart.
    Princess Alexandra: Commander, you're a pleasant surprise.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: And how is that, your highness?
    Princess Alexandra: Well, usually Minister Kepish arranges for someone much older and quite unattractive.
    (after the Princess kisses Harm)
    Minister Kepish: That really isn't a very good idea.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I thought it was a damn good idea. Too bad I didn't think of it.
    Ens. Harriet Sims: You can't ask me out on purpose, but you can ask her out by accident?
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: You were mad at me and she laughed at one of my jokes. At least, I think it was a joke.
    Ens. Harriet Sims: You know what worries me, Bud? (he shakes his head) I'm starting to understand what you're saying.
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Oh, Harriet, I'm really, really glad you're here in Washington. When I saw you at JAG, it was like eating Mexican food. You know, how your heart gets all tingly and you can't catch your breath because your whole body feels like its on fire?
    Ens. Harriet Sims: I've been waiting for you say that. Dance?
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: No. (she looks disappointed) But I'd sure like to try.
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: And then we went to an all-night diner and ate cheeseburgers and onion rings.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: My kind of place. And then you took her home.
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Yes ma'am.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: And?
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Red light, major!
    Harm: When awkwardness goes to $40 a barrel, I want the drilling rights to Bud's head.
    Mac: Aw, Harm, it just takes him a little while to get warmed up.
    Harm: Warmed up? Love isn't baseball, Mac.
    Mac: How would you know?

## The Game of Go [2.10]

    Special Agent Clayton Webb: Admiral Chegwidden thinks I'm a pain-in-the-ass bureaucrat who should never have involved the Marines in the first place. And he was right.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Taking the blame, Webb? How unlike you.
    Special Agent Clayton Webb: If I hadn't involved the Marines, my ass would not be hanging over a very deep chasm right now, no offense, Major.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: None taken. I hang asses frequently in my profession.
    Ambassador Witherspoon: I flew with the CAG. I understand you earned that Distinguished Flying Cross saving his six.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I was saving my own six, sir, the CAG just happened to be in the same aircraft.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What they say about dress whites and gold wings?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yeah?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Very overrated.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: We'll see.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: A little late, aren't you?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: 30, 35 seconds. Sorry about that.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: He's only got 46 minutes.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How do you do that?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's a Marine thing.

## Force Recon [2.11]

    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Major, the file you're looking for is…
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I know where it is, Bud.
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Yes ma'am, but its already..
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's 0939 and the flight doesn't leave until 1100, we have plenty of time, so relax! You're so nervous.
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Yes ma'am. I'm just trying to point out to you that file you're looking for is...
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: There it is! For heaven sakes' Bud, it was right in front of you.
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Yes, ma'am. How about that.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You'd follow Captain Koonan to hell.
    Sergeant Tesla: And back, ma'am. He'd get us back.
    (After a fight with a group of Army Rangers)
    Sergeant Tesla: I got to admire your restraint, Gunny. You held off decking that jerk for a good two, maybe three seconds.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Man, I don't remember it hurting this much.
    Sergeant Tesla: Don't tell me you're out of practice, Gunny?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You know, it's getting harder and harder to find a good bar fight.
    Captain Koonan: There is only one thing I want to know.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sir?
    Captain Koonan: How did the men perform?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Outstanding, sir.
    Captain Koonan: How can that be, Gunnery Sergent Post? My men ended up in the brig. Did you see any rangers in the brig, First Sergeant Creed?
    First Sergeant Creed: Not one Ranger, sir.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Rangers are in sickbay, sir.
    Captain Koonan: I see. How do you feel about that, First Sergeant?
    First Sergeant Creed: I'm appalled by their conduct, sir.
    Captain Koonan: The First Sergeant and I are appalled, Gunny.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yes sir I thought you would be sir.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It is the custom to salute an officer.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: (salutes) Yes ma'am. You are loving this new relationship.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Not as much as you're loving your new infantry career.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How do you train men for war, Mac?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You can't have a war if your Marines are dead before the damn thing starts.

## The Guardian [2.12]

    CPO Paul Bauwer: Sometimes it's better just to put an old guard dog down. He's more trouble than he's worth once he's outlived his usefulness.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You can always find some way to be useful, Chief.
    CPO Paul Bauwer: And what am I supposed to do, sir? If I don't want to be a mercenary, what am I supposed to do? I can kill a man 18 different ways with my bare hands. I can break down 43 different assault rifles. I can jump out of a chopper going 30 knots 30 feet into a freezing ocean and swim all night to a submarine. But what am I supposed to do now?
    (on a note pinned to Chief Bauwer's uniform)
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: "I hope I got the ribbons right."
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Bud, if you were a girl I'd kiss you.
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: (laughs) Red light, Commander. Does this mean I get my Game Boy back?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Nardoni argued his way to a weaker position. The jury knowing only helps us.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Funny how that happens.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Are you saying you planned it?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What do you think? I think I like the big leagues.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How do we as a society treat the warriors we create? By locking up them for protecting their children the same way they protected us? The prosecution would say yes. I say Chief Bauwer is a hero, a guardian angel, whose love for his son kept him always there, in the shadows. He came through for his son, just like in ways we'll never know, he came through for all of us.

## Code Blue [2.13]

    Doctor Jenna: I'd like you to stay overnight for observation.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: In the hospital?
    Doctor Jenna: Well, I think it's a little early in our relationship for you to stay at my place.
    Temir: I fear no man.
    CPO Walter Hume: Well, I guess that makes you stupid as well as annoying. I sure as Sam Hill wouldn't like a Navy SEAL hunting me down like a mad dog.
    Temir: He's a Navy SEAL?
    CPO Walter Hume: Yeah. A real killer. He'll sneak up on you and snap your skinny chicken neck like that! I know, I taught that boy everything.
    Temir: And you are?
    CPO Walter Hume: Admiral Walter Hume, United States Navy Covert Operations!
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: He want's to know how many centimeters you're dilated.
    Pregnant Woman: It feels as big as the Grand Canyon! Oh come on, I've got nothing you haven't seen before!
    (Harm examines her)
    Pregnant Woman: Well?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, I can honestly say, I have never seen that before. She’s about 5 centimetres.
    Pregnant Woman: Five?!
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Maybe six?
    Pregnant Woman: Look again, buster, and don’t you come back up until I’m hearing double digits!
    Zaki: We are not murderers! We are fighting for the freedom of our people.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: By killing old men and young women?
    Zaki: Do you know how many old men and young women and even babies we have lost?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Too many. It doesn't justify killing more.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What happened?
    Doctor Jenna: A little language problem. How do you say 'stay where you are or I'll pistol whip you' in Farsi?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: (speaks Farsi)
    Doctor Jenna: It sounded just like that.

## Cowboys and Cossacks [2.14]

    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: The navy doesn't reprimand its skippers for asserting American naval superiority. It basically comes down to who has the biggest…
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Ship?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Something like that, yeah.
    (after meeting Mac)
    Lieutenant Matovic : She's a Marine?
    Commander Zoltan Petavich: God bless America.
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Can we be charged with mutiny on a foreign vessel, Commander?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: No. This would be considered an act of terrorism.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: How long have you been standing there?
    Commander Zoltan Petavich: Long enough.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Long enough for what?
    Commander Zoltan Petavich: Long enough for me to realize that you are unlike any woman I have ever met. Yet not quite long enough for me to fall in love with you.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Does that line work on Russian women?
    Commander Zoltan Petavich: Not very often. But I have had limited success with it in the lower Balkans.
    Captain Grinkov: Tell Captain McNamara that I will miss our games. We were never good friends, but we were the best of enemies.

## Rendezvous [2.15]

    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Oh, my goodness. The Admiral sent Sarah MacKenzie.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You nervous already?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: And why would I be nervous?
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, you know, I have beaten you before.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: That doesn't count. I dropped that case.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, you keep dreaming, flyboy.
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Payday was the worst. He'd go to the NCO Club with his buddies and most of the time they'd have to drive him because he was too drunk to drive himself.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Mac, you don't have to…
    Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yes, I do. My mother would help him in, and he'd flop on the couch and yell for me to take off his shoes. He reeked of cigarette and stale beer, and sometimes something worse. Then the yelling would start. And then the slapping. And then the sobbing. His. I don't know which was worse, his hitting or his sobbing that he was sorry. She left him. And me with him.
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Defending Western civilization makes people horny.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: She did good today.
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Oh, Major MacKensize? Yes sir! She was great, sensational, terrific! She really did a a good job.
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I said good, Bud, not the Second Coming.
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Oh, yes sir.
    (fax machine beeps)
    Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Uh, I think that might be for me, sir! Yes! Lieutenant J.G. Roberts, that's my name!
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yes, that's you, Bud. Are you OK, Bud?
    Ens. Harriet Sims: Could I ask you a question, sir?
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sure, fire away.
    Ens. Harriet Sims: Lieutenant Roberts…Bud…um…(loudly) Why are men such jerks!?
    (both look surprised)
    Ens. Harriet Sims: I am so sorry sir! That just popped right out of my…I'm so! That is not like me, sir! That will not happen again, I'm so sorry! (she starts to leave)
    Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: It's okay, Harriet! You want to talk about it?