# One Trick Pony

One-Trick Pony is a 1980 film written by and starring Paul Simon. Simon portrays Jonah, a once famous musician attempting to record a new album in the face of losing popularity.
    Directed by Robert M. Young. Written by Paul Simon.

## Jonah Levin

* Well, what do you expect? "A grown man living in a kid's world." What do you think I'm doing out there? Cashing in my E tickets for a ride through the Magic Kingdom? You think I'm playing my gigs in The Haunted House?
* See, it's not that we don't want to have our heart torn out, it's just that we're trying to make a ballsy record here.
* [Reading Matty's song lyrics to Marion] "Hey, baby, don't be cruel. I'm gonna pick you up and we'll have a date at the pizza parlor. You can have a pizza, and I can have one, too. But you didn't want a pizza, so I said 'So long, babe.'" See that? And you were worried that he was going to be a songwriter.

## Dialogue

    Hare Krishna: [Offering Jonah a book] You said that your mind is troubled, why don't you check it out, brother?
    Jonah: You know, this is such a minor point, I hate to even bring it up but... I have a brother.
    Hare Krishna: We're all brothers.
    Jonah: No, I mean I have a real brother.
    Hare Krishna: We're all real brothers!
    Jonah: Well, this real brother used to sleep in the other bed in my room.
    Hare Krishna: Look, look, all I'm saying to you is if you want to purify your existence, get into your spiritual self, check it out.
    [Jonah accepts the book]
    Hare Krishna: Okay, okay, Hare Krishna!
    Jonah: [Softly, as he walks away] Okay, okay, Harry Chapin.
    Clarence Franklin: Hey, Junior, what time’s the first set?
    Jonah: Clarence, come right in! I mean, taking a bath’s usually a private moment for me. But I don’t mind sharing this time with you.
    Clarence Franklin: What time’s the first set?
    Jonah: Nine o’clock. But we leave at about 8:15.
    Clarence Franklin: [looking at Jonah’s genitals] That’s it, huh?
    Jonah: I am, after all, a Caucasian.
    Clarence Franklin: I understand, and I sympathize.
    Jonah: Hey... Cal van Damp. What's the good word with you?
    Cal van Damp: Well, you're the bright boy, I figured you'd know.
    Jonah: Steatopygous.
    Cal van Damp: What?
    Jonah: Steatopygous. It means a large rump, a fat ass.
    Cal van Damp: Why's that the good word?
    Jonah: Well, it's like, see, what if I was to—if I was to say to you, "Cal, you have a very fat ass.", you could be offended. But if I say, "Hey! Good evening, Cal. You sure look steatopygous.", then you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, do you?
    Cal van Damp: Hope you don't have any plans for getting your records played on any radio stations.
    Jonah: Not really, no.
    Cal van Damp: Well you shouldn't, 'cause you won't get any.
    Jonah: Well, what was I supposed to say? "Yes, Walter, I am sort of fucking your wife"?
    Lonnie Fox: Is that what we're doing? Sort of fucking?
    Marion: You don't always have to be sarcastic.
    Jonah: Well, I'm not always sarcastic. Well, I was sarcastic in the late seventies, maybe '77, '78, but really, since... February '79 I have hardly been sarcastic.
    Marion: It's the longest adolescence I have ever seen. Well, admit it, in six years, you'll be forty years old. Now, you've gone directly from adolescence to middle age.
    Jonah: In six years I'll be forty years old. In sixteen years, I'll be fifty years old. In twenty-six years, I'll be sixty years old. In a mere sixty-six years, I'll be a hundred years old.
    Jonah: The fern is doing very well.
    Marion: Yes, the fern is doing well, it's doing very, very well.
    Jonah: You spray it regularly, do ya?
    Marion: I spray it every day, I talk to it, give it lots of encouragement.
    Jonah: [whispering] You haven't told her about our separation?
    Marion: No, absolutely not. I didn't think it would be wise at this time, it's just beginning to sprout new leaves.
    Marion: What are you so afraid of? That young girls won't like you on the road?
    Jonah: I'll tell you what I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of you boring me to tears. Yeah, you know, Marion, you know, you used to, you know—YOU'RE SO FUCKING BORING!
    [Marion starts crying, Jonah hugs her]
    Jonah: I-I'm sorry. I don't know what you want. You want me to drive a cab? You want me to give guitar lessons to 13-year-old kids? I'm a player, that's what I do.
    Marion: No, I just want—I just wanted... I just wish that when you were here, you were really here. I mean, really with us. Not just sleeping here, or talking on the phone here, or trying to write songs here, but... here. A family. The road is the road. This was supposed to be home.
    Clarence Franklin: What about our bread?
    Jonah: What about our bread?
    Clarence Franklin: Let me tell you something. We've been friends a long time. But I can't live on no $400 a week. It doesn't cover my alimony or my dope bills.
    Danny Duggin: What dope bills? You haven't bought anything in years!
    Clarence Franklin: Fuck you, years!
    Jonah: You're not the only one with alimony and dope bills.
    Jonah: You got any percodans?
    Marion: No, but I got some aspirin in the bathroom. What's wrong?
    Jonah: Pain, uh... I got a pain.
    Marion: You really should watch it, you know, you just like to take pills.
    Jonah: Who, me? That's the truth.
    Marion: You sound like Matty.
    Jonah: I am Matty, just older.
    Marion: Here's your aspirin.
    Jonah: It's not what I really need.
    Marion: What do you need?
    Jonah: A job.
    Marion: A job?
    Jonah: A hug?
    Marion: Jonah, what are you talking about?
    Jonah: I figure the band is broken up.
    Marion: That's crazy, what about the album?
    Jonah: Gone.
    Marion: Well, I don't understand. I thought you said everything was going well.
    [Jonah hugs Marion and starts crying]
    Marion: You said everything was going well.
    Jonah: We had some good times... Didn't we?
    Marion: Yeah, lots.
    [Last lines]
    Jonah: I think I left my glasses in the studio this afternoon.
    Studio attendant: Okay.

## Cast

* Paul Simon - Jonah Levin
* Blair Brown - Marion Levin
* Rip Torn - Walter Fox
* Joan Hackett - Lonnie Fox
* Allen Garfield - Cal van Damp
* Mare Winningham - Modeena Dandridge
* Michael Pearlman - Matty Levin
* Lou Reed - Steve Kunelian
* Steve Gadd - Danny Duggin
* Eric Gale - Lee-Andrew Parker
* Tony Levin - John Dibatista
* Richard Tee - Clarence Franklin
* Harry Shearer - Bernie Wepner
* Daniel Stern - Hare Krishna

## External links

* One Trick Pony quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* One Trick Pony at Rotten Tomatoes