# Celebrity (film)

Celebrity is a 1998 satirical comedy about an unsuccessful screenwriter in Hollywood.
    Written and directed by Woody Allen.

## Tony Gardella

* Tom Dale. Big star. He's in New York filming an adaptation of a sequel of a remake.
* [about Papadakis] He's very arty, pretentious, one of those assholes who shoots all his films in black and white.

## Nicole Oliver

* I can't have sex with you! My body belongs to my husband and there is no way that I could betray him in that way. But what I do from the neck up is a different story.

## Lee Simon

* Every curve in your body fulfills its promise. If the universe has any meaning, I'm looking at it.
* One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High and you fucking blink and you're 40, you blink again and you can see movies at half price on a senior citizen's pass. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately, ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
* Just in time. Another minute, I'd have been found dead of comedy poisoning...

## Robin Simon

* No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
* I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
* [to Lee] I hope you catch a break.

## Donald Trump

* Well, I'm working on buying St. Patrick's Cathedral, maybe doing a little rip-down job and putting up a very very tall and beautiful building.

## Dialogue

    TV Reporter at Premiere: What's your next project?
    Dalton Freed: Birth of a Nation, an all-black version.
    Bonnie: Apparently his first two books...
    Lee: They were obliterated. I got the 3 esses: self-indulgent, sophomoric, solipsistic...
    Tony: Oh, and getting out of the elevator I see there's a famous critic.
    Robin: Him, I recognize.
    Tony: Oh, he used to hate every movie. Then, he married a young, big-bosomed woman, and now he loves every movie.
    Father Gladden's Fan on Porch: Did you agree with the Beatles, years ago, at the height of their fame, that they were bigger stars than Jesus?
    Father Gladden: The world population was much less then.
    Supermodel: You're not afraid of catching germs? And you know, I'm coming down with a cold and everything...
    Lee: From you I'd be willing to catch terminal cancer.
    Waiting Room Nurse: I'm sorry, the doctor just doesn't do penis enlargements. We don't have the space.
    Waiting Room Patient: We're talking about 3 inches here!
    Robin: There aren't any ticks around here, are there? I'd hate to get Lyme disease.
    Priest at Catholic Retreat: We haven't had any casualties.

## Cast

* Kenneth Branagh - Lee Simon
* Judy Davis - Robin Simon
* Joe Mantegna - Tony Gardella
* Winona Ryder - Nola
* Famke Janssen - Bonnie
* Charlize Theron - Supermodel
* Melanie Griffith - Nicole Oliver
* Leonardo DiCaprio - Brandon Darrow
* Gretchen Mol - Vicky
* Kate Burton - Cheryl
* Bebe Neuwirth - Nina
* Hank Azaria - David
* Douglas McGrath - Bill Gaines
* J. K. Simmons - Souvenir Hawker
* Dylan Baker - Catholic Retreat Priest
* Debra Messing - TV Reporter
* Allison Janney - Evelyn Isaacs
* Kate Burton - Cheryl
* Gerry Becker - Jay Tepper
* Tony Sirico - Lou DeMarco
* Celia Weston - Dee Bartholomew
* Aida Turturro - Olga
* Lorri Bagley - Gina
* David Margulies - Counselor Adelman
* Jeffrey Wright - Greg
* Tony Darrow - Moving Man
* Adrian Grenier, Sam Rockwell, and John Doumanian - Darrow's Entourage
* Greg Mottola - Director
* Michael Moon - Himself/El Flamingo Band
* Donald Trump - Himself
* Ian Somerhalder - Unconfirmed
* Karen Duffy - TV Reporter
* Frank Licari - Camera Man
* Andre Gregory - John Papadakis

## Taglines

* A funny look at people who will do anything to get famous... or stay famous.

## External links

* Celebrity quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* Celebrity at Rotten Tomatoes
* Celebrity at Allmovie
* Celebrity at Mojo