# The Great Muppet Caper

The Great Muppet Caper is a 1981 American British mystery musical comedy film in which Kermit, Gonzo and Fozzie are reporters who travel to Britain to interview a rich victim of jewel thieves and help her along with her secretary, Miss Piggy.
    Directed by Jim Henson. Written by Jerry Juhl, Tom Patchett, Jack Rose, and Jay Tarses.

## Miss Piggy

* [to Nicky] You! It was you! Kermit was right! You are bulking! You are a phony! Yes, you are! And you know what, you can't even sing! Your voice was dubbed!
* Next time they want stunts, they get a double.

## Dialogue

    [First lines]
    Kermit: [in a hot air balloon] Pretty nice up here, isn't it?
    Fozzie: Kermit? What if we drift out to sea? What if we're never heard from again? What if there's a storm? Or - we get struck by lightning?
    Gonzo: That'd be neat.
    Kermit: Listen, nothing's gonna happen. These are just the opening credits.
    Fozzie: Oh. Where are they? [title card appears] Wow!
    Kermit: The Great Muppet Caper.
    Fozzie: Nice title.
    Fozzie: [pleading] We'll do better next time.
    News Editor: Next time? Next time?! [pounds fist into desk] What makes you think there's gonna be a next time?
    Kermit: Well, if there isn't, it's gonna be a real short movie.
    Fozzie: What does "BSC" stand for?
    Kermit: I don't know.
    [Lady Holiday has just given Miss Piggy the entire backstory for the movie]
    Miss Piggy: Why are you telling me all this?
    Lady Holiday: It's plot exposition. It has to go somewhere.
    [Kermit is sitting on a bench; a man and his daughter, Jerry Nelson and Christine, walk by]
    Christine Nelson: Look, Dad. There's a bear.
    Jerry Nelson: No, Christine, that's a frog. Bears wear hats.
    Miss Piggy: Please don't go. Kermit, please. Oh, please, I'm sorry. Please! Please!
    Kermit: Piggy, hold it.
    Miss Piggy: Please! Please! Please!
    Kermit: Piggy...? Piggy? You're overacting.
    Miss Piggy: ...What?
    Kermit: You'e overacting. You're hamming it up.
    Miss Piggy: I am not. I am trying to save this movie.
    Kermit: [getting annoyed] Oh, yeah? Well, save your performance instead.
    Miss Piggy: I am playing eight hundred different emotions!
    Kermit: Well, try to play one of them right.
    Miss Piggy: Oh, oh! I have a career of my own.
    Kermit: I know all about your career, Pig.
    Miss Piggy: I don't need this lousy duck pond here.
    Kermit: Sure, you don't need a lousy duck pond.
    Miss Piggy: I'll just walk.
    Kermit: [angrily] Okay, sure. Go ahead and walk.
    Miss Piggy: [briefly turning to the camera] Should I walk? Then I'll walk!
    Kermit: Walk! Go ahead and walk! [Miss Piggy turns away and whimpers] Oh, Piggy. [sighs] Listen.
    Miss Piggy: [in tears] I'm doing my best.
    Kermit: Well... I know you are. [moves in to comfort her] Piggy, I'm sorry. We gotta get back to the movie, though.
    Miss Piggy: [trying to collect herself] All right. All right, all right, all right. [heaves a heavy sigh and resumes acting]
    Nicky Holiday: Miss Piggy...You're a very different looking woman. I'm so tired of the same type, those tall thin creatures with the long legs, the aquiline noses, the teeth like pearls, soft skin...
    Miss Piggy: Yeah, well, I can see where that might make you sick to your stomach.
    Kermit: [to Cops got Miss Piggy takes her away] Don't worry Ms. Piggy, will you get out of this?!
    Kermit: Now if we want to get Miss Piggy out of jail, we're going to catch those crooks red-handed. [Beauregard raises his hand] Yes, Bo?
    Beauregard: What color are their hands now?
    Miss Piggy: [to the truck driver] Do you know where Lady Holliday's Baseball Diamond is being kept?
    Truck Driver: Well, funny enough, I do: it's at the Mallory Gallery, a virtually impregnable fortress many miles from here.
    Miss Piggy: Oh! I only have a half an hour to get there!
    Truck Driver: On foot? You'll never make it.
    Miss Piggy: I know! How about a ride?
    Truck Driver: You can read, I presume? "No passengers." [points to the sticker on the truck's door]
    Miss Piggy: Oh, couldn't you make an exception for little old moi?
    Truck Driver: Not even for little old vous. [laughs]
    Miss Piggy: Pretty please?
    Truck Driver: No!
    Miss Piggy: [strained] I've tried to be nice.
    Truck Driver: Huh?
    Miss Piggy: Hii-yahh! [throws the driver out of his truck and into the garbage cans]
    Oscar the Grouch: [emerges from a trash can] Hey, what's all the racket?
    Truck Driver: What are you doing here?
    Oscar the Grouch: A very brief cameo.
    Truck Driver: Me too. Tsk tsk.
    [Nicky has just captured the Baseball Diamond and Kermit, pulling a gun on the other Muppets]
    Kermit: Why are you doing this?
    Nicky: Why am I doing this? Because I'm a villain, pure and simple. Every good movie needs one.
    Kermit: [breaking the 4th wall - again] I hate to admit it, but that's an excellent point.
    Statler: I guess all's well that ends well.
    Waldorf: Doesn't matter to me, as long as it ends.

## Cast

* Charles Grodin - Nicky Holiday
* Diana Rigg - Lady Holiday
* Erica Creer - Marla
* Kate Howard - Carla
* Della Finch - Darla
* Joan Sanderson - Dorcas
* Michael Robbins - Henderson
* Peter Hughes - Stanley
* Peggy Aitchison - a guard
* Tommy Godfrey - a bus conductor (final film role)
* Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog, Rowlf the Dog, Dr. Teeth, Waldorf, The Swedish Chef, The Newsman and Lubbock Lou
* Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, Animal, Beaker, Sam the Eagle and Gramps
* Jerry Nelson - Floyd Pepper, Pops, Lew Zealand, Louis Kazagger and Slim Wilson
* Richard Hunt - Scooter, Statler, Sweetums and Bubba
* Dave Goelz - The Great Gonzo, Beauregard, Zoot, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Zeke
* Steve Whitmire - Rizzo the Rat and Lips
* Louise Gold as Annie Sue Pig, Janice and Lou
* Caroll Spinney - Oscar the Grouch
* Kiran Shah - Miss Piggy (full-bodied stunt double)
* John Cleese as Neville, a middle-aged British homeowner who lives with his wife Dorcas at 17 Highbrow Street.
* Peter Falk - a Man in Park
* Robert Morley - a British Gentleman by Pond
* Jack Warden - Mike Tarkenian, the editor-in-chief of The Daily Chronicle.
* Peter Ustinov - a Truck Driver

## External links

* The Great Muppet Caper quotes at the Internet Movie Database
* The Great Muppet Caper at Rotten Tomatoes