# JAG (season 4)

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JAG (1995–2005), is an American TV series about fictional events at the Navy's Judge Advocate General's Corps. JAG is an elite legal wing of officers trained as lawyers who investigate, prosecute and defend those accused of crimes in the military, including murder, treason and terrorism. Most of the stories focus on the highs and lows of Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr., a hot-shot fighter pilot-turned lawyer who brings his fly-boy mentality to the courtroom, and Major Sarah MacKenzie, a tough, by-the-book Marine who often clashes with him, in and out of the courtroom.

## Gypsy Eyes Part 2 [4.1]

    Mac: Anything broken?
    Harm: Just my ego. Never been shot down before.
    Harm: Admiral.
    AJ: You okay?
    Harm: Yes, sir. Webb? What are you doing here?
    AJ: Getting decked. (Turns and punches Webb.)
    Mac: Look at the odds, Harm. We're in the middle of Russia with Parlovsky or Falcon trying to stop us. We don't have identification papers, you don't know the language, and you have no plan other than to get us to Beloyka. Is that sound mission planning?
    Harm: Chickening out on me?
    Mac: You know better than that. Answer my question. What is your plan other than to take a train to Beloyka? You're being driven by emotions and those emotions are gonna get us killed.
    Harm: You can quit. I can't. My father is out there somewhere and I'm gonna find him.
    Mac: Or die trying.
    Harm: Or die trying. But you shouldn't. You've come with me farther than anyone I know. I'll never forget that, Mac.
    Mac: Well, I guess I always knew it would come down to this. And that you'd need me to come up with a dispassionate plan.

## Embassy [4.2]

    Mac: When's the party?
    Adm. Chegwidden: 1900 tonight.
    Mac: Tonight? But my dress uniform's at the cleaners, sir. I don't have a dress. I haven't done my hair.
    Adm. Chegwidden: Your hair's fine, Major. And Webb's taken care of the dress.
    Mac: You don't even know my size.
    Webb: 36-24-36, 5 foot 8, plus 130 pounds.
    Mac: 120, thank you very much!
    Adm. Chegwidden: Commander, do not do anything to exacerbate the situation.
    Harm: Don't worry, sir, you know me.
    Adm. Chegwidden: Yes I do!
    Secnav: What I approved was a simple piece of intelligence gathering. But your people have an uncanny knack for being where the trouble is.
    Adm. Chegwidden: I prefer to think of them as where they're most needed.
    Webb: You're jumping to conclusions Admiral.
    Adm. Chegwidden: I'm going to be jumping to more than that if you don't get my people out of there now!
    Webb: Oh, what are you gonna do? Break my nose again?!
    Harm: Webb, next time you're thinking about asking us for help, don't.

## Going After Francesca [4.4]

    Adm. Chegwidden: (in signing out weapons) Humor me, Chief ... just every once in a while I like to blow the hell out of something.
    Gunnery Chief: I know what you mean, sir. That's a hell of a lot of firepower for a lawyer, commander.
    Adm. Chegwidden: Obviously you've never seen him in the courtroom.
    Adm. Chegwidden: You don't have to do this.
    Harm: The hell I don't, sir.
    Adm. Chegwidden: Well, by my last count, we're about to violate at least seven separate provisions of the status-of-forces agreement with Italy. Hell, you'd better call me A.J.
    Harm: All right, A.J. Let's do it.

## The Martin Baker Fan Club [4.5]

    Mac: United States Navy v. Gentilli. Apparently, you and I prosecuted. Do you remember this?
    Harm: I don't remember what I had for breakfast, Mac.
    Bud: Pumpernickel bagel, sir.
    Harm: Thanks for noticing, Bud.

## Jaggle Bells [4.11]

    AJ: New year’s resolution, remember to kill Rabb.

## Silent Service [4.16]

    AJ: Watertown is Los Angeles class. Are you familiar with them?
    Harm: No, sir.
    AJ: Be prepared to do a lot of slouching.
    Harm: Understood, sir.
    AJ: Good. Major, one caveat. You’ll be in tight quarters with 141 men. Prepare yourself.
    Mac: Sir, might I suggest you give that warning to the crew of the Watertown?
    (In their racks, Mac is below Harm’s.)
    Mac: You’re squirming!
    Harm: My knees are in my face, Mac! Give me a break.
    Bud: You know, I’ve never been on a sub. What’s it like?
    Harm: Well, you can experience it firsthand, Bud.
    Bud: I can?
    Harm: Yeah. When you go home tonight, throw out all your fresh fruit and vegetables, put lube oil in your humidifier, go to sleep on a shelf in your closet, and go to work before sunrise.

## Shakedown [4.18]

    Tiner: The admiral became a sort of mentor to the lieutenant, and Lieutenant Sherkston’s sort of like the son the admiral never had.
    Mac: (To Harm.) Oh, I guess that makes you the son he never wanted.
    Harm: Ha. Very funny.
    Harm: Dinner for a week says it’s Newman.
    Mac: Buying or making?
    Harm: Buying.
    Mac: Then you’re on. (They shake hands.) Nothing personal, but, um, that last meat loaf you made was nasty.
    Harm: Are you dogging Harm’s special meatless meat loaf?
    Mac: Let’s put it this way. If you were to make the Harmon special on this ship, they’d have to unload it with the toxic waste.
    Harm: Wow. That’s a little harsh, don’t you think? If you don’t like it, you could just say, “I don’t like your meat loaf, Harm.” You don’t have to be insulting. (Throws a screwed up serviette at her.)

## Yeah, Baby [4.23]

    Chloe Madison: Harm and Mac, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
    Lt. Cdr. Rabb: You ok?
    Maj. Mackenzie: Every time I think I've put the pieces of my life together, someone comes along and jumbles them back up. Humph. Everyone who has ever meant anything to me is leaving my life.
    Harm: It will be okay, Mac. You'll get to see Chloe again. One day you'll have kids of your own.
    Mac: Yeah, not at this rate. My biological clock is going off and I keep hitting the snooze button. Ha.
    Harm: Tell you what - 5 years from this moment, if neither of us is in a relationship, we’ll go halves on a kid.
    Mac: You and me have a baby together?
    Harm: Yeah. With your looks and my brains, he’ll be perfect.
    Mac: And what if she has your looks and my brains?
    Harm: That could work too. So what do you say? Deal?
    Mac: Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.
    Harm: I haven’t yet. (They shake hands.)

## Goodbyes [4.24]

    Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Commander Rabb, it's Skates, sir.