# Paul DiLascia

Paul DiLascia (1959 – 3 September 2008) was an American software developer, author, web developer, and editor of the Microsoft Systems Journal column C/C++ Q+A.

## Quotes
### About Microsoft

* A bug! A bug! Isn’t it just so satisfying to discover bugs in other people’s programs? Especially people from Microsoft. I don’t know why, it’s probably some kind of Freudian code-envy thing.
** 1995/6
* ...my Trusty Friends in Redmond...
** 1995/10
* ...perhaps this is a "feature", not a bug....
** 1995/10

### About Code

* To be honest, there's something a little weird about this. (1995/4)
* But hey, I only work here. Besides, it works. (1995/6)
* Pretty simple. Except for one little problem: it doesn't work! (various)
* Reusability, man. (1995/10)
* So? If you don't like it, write your own [program]. (1995/10)
* It may seem kludgy, but hey - it works! (1994/3)
* Don't do it! (1993/10)
* The implementation is brainless (various)
* ...[some code] looks disgusting, but that's life. (1993/6)

### About the readers

* ..even MSJ readers will tire of watching Bill Gates adjust his glasses. (1995/10)
* ...why are you doing these things? Don't. (1993/12)
* What are you doing, anyway? Writing code for IBM? (1996/1)
* Stop beating your head, you might hurt yourself. (1995/8)
* ...you'll screw everything up. (1994/10)
* Like I said, you're damned either way. (1993/10)

### About himself

* OK, I admit it. I'm like you.
** 1995/10
* I'm a nit, what can I say? (1994/12)
* I was once hired to develop a Windows-based chemistry library for a company that builds reactors that burn toxic metal waste into harmless substances (really). (1993/11)
* ...I hate typing... (1993/6)

### About language

* ...yucky assembly language mucky-muck.
* Isn't C++ wonderful?.
** 1995/1
* ...this baroque language...
** on C++, 1994/5
* ...a little-known piece of C++ trivia you can use to impress your friends and loved ones.
** 1995/6
* ...a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...
** on being someone who is writing a C++ compiler, 1993/2

### About the Industry

* ...your 90MHz Pentium won't have any trouble doing arithmetic (except for certain divisions).
** 1995/3

### Misc

* The question remains: how?
* ..flibbertiwidgets are free...
** 1996/8
* ..play Beethovens Fifth Symphony if the user clicks the control that contains 'Da-da-da-dum'
** 1994/4
* If this code works, it was written by Paul DiLascia. If not, I don't know who wrote it
* ..I'll be laughing when I'm old and and all my programmer friends have gone alexic from staring at too many tiny pixels
** on using high screen resolutions, 1996/3
* ..your two-year-old could've done that with one thumb in her mouth.
* 1995/12
* ..sometimes you have to be bad
* 1995/12
* Sometimes it really is easy to program MFC
** 1995/12
* Everything is hunky-dory and your program works fine.
** 1995/12
* If you're totally confused, don't worry, it means your brain is functioning normally.
* 1995/11
** Well bowl me over and turn me into a pumpkin! Scrape me off the pavement and fetch my asbestos anti-flame suit, quick!
** 1995/11
* That's no fun.
** 1995/10
* ...the harmony of the universe is preserved...
** 1995/10
* We've use a number of different adjectives to describe Span, but "cool" has never been one of them.
** 1994/12
* ...blathering store clerks who can't stop saying "Have a nice day"...
** on annoying behaviour, 1994/5
* That's left as an exercise for the reader.
* You can't expect me to do everything.
** 1995/7
* ...everything I've said so far is fine and dandy...
** 1993/6
* Does that remind you of anything? No? Give up?
** 1993/6