# Ali G Indahouse

Ali G Indahouse is a 2002 comedy film about Sacha Baron Cohen's character Ali G and how he is recruited to be a minister for Staines, his home district in London. But then he learns the government is much more sinister.

## Ali G

* [repeated line] Keep it real!
* [everyone's angry in UN] You know why they're so worked up in there? It's because they haven't had their tea yet! Come on!
* Respect!

## Prime Minister

* Ali, come on, World War Three's breaking out, you need to do something!
* What's he doing?
* We're going to demolish Slough instead.

## David Carlton

* I think we should "keep it real."
* [to Ali] You know, you are unbelievably stupid.
* Now, I am going to shoot you!
* (after Ali G and his gang break into Downing Street) This is a terrorist attack, shoot on sight!

## Dialogue

    Ali G: Jezzy, is you wearing green? I knew it - you is defected to the Iver Heath posse, innit? Come on, let's stab him!
    Jezzy: No no, wait! My mum, yeah, she put my yellow top in the wash with my brother's blue football socks even though they ain't colourfast.
    Ali G: Alright. But you can tell that slag, that in the ghetto, washing non-colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could cost you your life!
    David Carlton: Ali, have you ever considered becoming a member of Parliament?
    Ali G: What me wanna do that for? It's full of pricks!
    David Carlton: That's a little harsh. I'm an MP, am I a prick?
    Ali G: (non-chalantly) Yes.
    David Carlton: Tell me, Ali, do you have a job?
    Ali G: Unfortunately, I is recently gone on the dole...
    David Carlton: Really? When?
    Ali G: Eight years and three months ago.
    David Carlton: Says here you claim disability benefit, are you...?
    Ali G: Yes, I is actually spasticated. I is got a terrible DJ-ing injury. I still ain't got full mobility in me main mixing finger.
    (Starts to air-mix, winces, feigns pain and stops. Ali notices Carlton's sexy secretary watching, so he points at his crotch.)
    Ali G: Everything down here's still working though... oh yes!
    David Carlton: (Reading a speech Ali wrote) As of twelve o'clock all Rizlas will be free. To discourage their use, there will be a 25p-per-pound levy on panties. This will exclude thongs. Marijuana will be available on the NHS to treat chronic diseases such as itchy scrot. Furthermore, I am a bell-end...
    Ali G: HAHAHAHAHA, HAHA!
    David Carlton: Look, Prime Minister, I really can't be expected to...
    Prime Minister: Go on now, David!
    David Carlton: (reluctantly) I like to take it up the batty. Yes, I do. It feel very nice, and is me favourite. I used to be a girl and wear knicks. Honest. Ask my mum!
    (Ali gets up from his seat and slowly walks down the aisle as all ministers argue)
    Minister: Will the member for Staines return to his seat!?!
    (the Prime Minister notices)
    Prime Minister: What's he doing?
    David Carlton: Uh, I don't know, Prime Minister.
    (Ali walks up to the shouting minister and calmly puts his finger on his lips to shush him)
    Ali G: Look at you all! All you ever do all day long is cuss each other! R-E-S-T-E-C-P. Do you have any idea what that spells?
    Minister: Restecp?
    Ali G: (confused) Yes. Restecp.
    Prime Minister: Restecp?
    Ali G: How can you all not be restecp-ing each other, when you doesn't restecp each other in here?
    Minister: The member for Staines is to be removed from the House!
    Ali G: (hurriedly) You wanna know 'ow I make diz country bettah? Iz simple, two words: "Keep it real!"
    Minister: (thinking quick) That's three words!
    Ali G: Don't be a spannah — "It" ain't a real word — it's short for "innit", innit?
    (During a government speech)
    Ali G: I put it to you that you sucked off an ‘orse.
    Candidate: I did not, “suck off a horse”. I have already been over this with the Party Chairman — I was out, hunting, with a friend, and I slipped, and fell onto the end of a horse's phallus, which, owing to it being the mating season, was... aroused.
    (Ali G has just passed a new law allowing only "fit" refugees into Britain. Several women from Slovenia are passing through arrivals).
    Guard: Fit. (women smile awkwardly) Fit. Fit. Fit. Wait... (he checks this woman's passport) Back to Slovenia.
    (all of Ali G's gang and his rival gang are forming a human chain outside Downing Street)
    Ali G: Switch on the engine, pass it on!
    Gang member: Switch on the engine, pass it on!
    (all members whisper down the line to each other til it comes to the last member)
    Final member: Bitch on the pension, suck my dong!
    Driver: (confused) What? Should I turn the engine on?
    (Ali G is forcibly rejected from the House)
    Minister: The member for Staines is hereby removed from the House!
    Ali G: Is it because I is black?

## Taglines

* Cleaning Da Filth From Da PM's Hood
* Vote Ali G
* Tax Da Panty
* Me Iz Introducin’ A White Paper
* Blair Beware
* Guess Who's In Da House?

## Cast

* Sacha Baron Cohen as Alistair Leslie Graham "Ali G" /Borat Sagdiyev
* Michael Gambon - Prime Minister
* Charles Dance - Deputy Prime Minister David Carlton
* Kellie Knight - Julie
* Martin Freeman - Richard "Ricky C" Cunningham
* Rohan Mitra - Kate Hedges
* Barbara New - Nan
* Ray Panthaki - Hassan B
* Emilio Rivera - Rico
* Paul Clayton - Alan Swan Lake
* Olegar Fedoro - Russian Minister
* Tony Way - Not-Dangerous Dave
* Daniele Lavender - Maid (as Daniella Lavender)
* Capri Ashby - Nurse Nina
* John Scott Martin - Mr. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

## External Links

* Ali G Indahouse quotes at the Internet Movie Database
Sacha Baron Cohen :
| Films | Ali G Indahouse (2002) · Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006) · Brüno (2009) · The Dictator (2012) ·  The Brothers Grimsby (2016) |
| Other releases | Ali G, Innit (1999) · Ali G, Aiii (2000) · Bling Bling (2001) |
| Television series | F2F (1996–1997) · The 11 O'Clock Show (1998–2000) · Da Ali G Show (U. K.: 2000, U. S.: 2003–2004) · Borat's Television Programme (2004) |