# Nutty Professor 2

Nutty Professor II: The Klumps is a 2000 science fiction comedy film directed by Peter Segal, the sequel to the 1996 remake of the 1963 film. It stars Eddie Murphy and Janet Jackson.

## Sherman Klump

* You know it's funny how you get used to certain things in life. You get used to being overweight. I did. You even get used to people making fun of you. Somewhere along the line I got used to being alone. And I just don't want to be alone anymore.
* [Has lost all of his intelligence. Denise asks him to tell her who she is] Ah, pretty lady!
* [To Denise] I never... never wanted to hurt you. Understand? I thought that if you knew Buddy was a part of me, you wouldn't have me.

## Dean Richmond

* Deals come and go. Wellman will always be Wellman. But you know what bothers me? I walk down the street and this cute little boy says, "Look Mommy, there goes the Hamster's BITCH!"
* "I'm not that kind of... [screaming] GUUUUUUUUUUUY!!!!!!"

## Buddy Love

* [Sherman, losing his intelligence, misspells "Shit" S-H-I-T-E] Oh, ho-ho-ho. My shite?
* Oh, you bastard! [sees a rubber ball, because his body has dog DNA]
* [after catching a rubber ball filled with youth formula] What the hell is that?! (Sherman: Who's dumb now?) Oh, Sherman. Oh, you sneaky son of a bitch! Oh, Sherman...! [turning into a baby] Oh, SHIT! Uh, uh, everyone calm down! Just calm down, this is a part of the demonstration! Just calm-- Relax! everything is under control. [woman stares at his penis] What the hell are you looking at?! This is an impressive package for a toddler!

## Klump Family

    Papa Klump: [Making Sherman drink the water Buddy evaporated in. Pulls his head out] What's your mama's middle name? [Sherman mumbles] Hell no, that ain't it! [Pushes his head back in]
    Granny: The other day I got out the shower and I bend down to reach for a towel, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Shot through my chest and up around my shoulder and down my spine. I thought "Oh, Lord." I thought I was dying. I bent over and looked, and I was standing on my own titty.
    Granny Klump: Hey Cletus, who that there piece of spaghetti remind you of? Maybe Mr. Johnson perhaps?
    Ernie: [the chorus just finished singing 'Happy Day'] Happy day, happy day, happy day my ass.
    Cletus: [Isaac, Granny's boyfriend, walks to the dinner table] Well if it isn't the world's oldest living Negro! Hey how's things going on the Underground Railroad Isaac?
    Mama Klump: [after being rejected of sexual intercourse with Cletus] What about Viagra?
    Cletus: Viagra don't work on me no more. Been taking them like M&M's!

## Dialogue

    Sherman Klump: Buddy Love, I am SICK, and TIRED, of your S-H...
    Dean Richmond: "I"
    Sherman Klump: Thank you. T-E!
    Buddy Love: Oh, ho-ho-ho. My shite?
    [Sherman is serenading Denise with the assistance of a Mariachi band]
    Sherman: Denise will you...
    Buddy: Hey Sherman. You hear me Sherman?
    Sherman: ...Denise will ya...will ya...let me come up there and put my beef in your taco?
    Mexican band: "...Put the beef in your taco!
    Denise: What?
    Sherman: [Buddy cackles, Sherman's conscious comes back] Oh, no! No, no, no! (Chuckles) That's not what I meant to say, Denise! That was just a little joke! I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out and get some Mexican food. That's why I said that.
    Denise: ...Well I am kind of hungry, but I'm not...
    Sherman: Yeah, you are huh? Yeah, I bet you could stand for a big ole whopper right now, huh?
    Mexican band: "...A big ole whopper right now!
    Neighbor: You're sick!
    Sherman: Yeah, I got to tell you, I'm a Jumbo Jack man myself, if you know what I mean. Yeah and I'm loaded with secret sauce! Yeah, come on!
    [Sherman does a perverted dance in front of a shocked Denise, and falls to the ground, sexually humping it.]
    Neighbor: You're gonna ruin my lawn, you pervert!
    Granny: You better eat up Isaac, 'cause you gonna need your strength. Yeah, later on, me and Isaac gonna watch "Mating Season on the Serengeti." Doesn't take a lot to get Isaac going.
    Cletus: Timeout! Let me call a timeout on that.
    Anna: Lord, my, my.
    Cletus: I don't want to hear about you old-ass geriatrics.
    Granny: Oh, yeah Cletus? Me and Isaac might be dried up geriatrics, but ain't nothing wrong with Isaac's love tackle.
    [Table falls silent].
    Ernie: Oh snap now.
    Granny: What's a matter Cletus, cat got your tongue? Did I step on a nerve Cletus? I got ya, got ya, got ya!
    Granny: Come on Cletus, come on right now! But I'm gonna tell you something, I gotta a razor in this here bag.
    Cletus: Oh yeah? Well let me tell you something, that ain't even no bag you got in your hand, that's your titty.
    Anna: Cletus!
    Cletus: What are you talkin' about? She is an old bag with titties.
    Anna: Jesus!
    Cletus: Old bag with old bag titties!
    Anna: Damn it, Cletus! Don't you mind?
    Ernie (quietly to Ernie Jr.): Heh, he called Grandma a titty bag!
    Granny: [to Cletus] Death!
    Granny: The other day I got out the shower and I bend down to reach for a towel, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Shot through my chest and up around my shoulder and down my spine. I thought "Oh, Lord." I thought I was dying. I bent over and looked, and I was standing on my own titty.
    Anna: You don't need a breast reduction, just be more careful.
    Granny: Both feet too, both feet.
    Grandma Klump: Does Cletus know I'm strapped?
    Cletus: Come on, shoot.
    Grandma Klump: I'm strapped, nigga!
    Denise: [persistent] Sherman, look at me! Who am I?
    Sherman: Ah, pretty lady!
    Denise: [sobbing] Oh, honey! It's going to be okay, I'll take care of you.
    Sherman: [at same time] Yeah, nice lady!
    Cletus: Come on, let's get him home.
    Anna: [Answering door] Oh my goodness! Is there a fire?
    Fireman Stripper: Yes ma'am. I'm afraid there is.
    Anna: I don't smell no smoke. [sniffs]
    Fireman Stripper: [Walks in and beings playing music from stereo] There's a fire in my pants, and it's getting muy caliente! [begins stripping]
    Party guests, Bridesmaid and Denise: Ooh! [laugh and clap]

## Outtakes

    Anna: Oh...[more forcefully] Cletus!

## Taglines

* The Klumps are back!
* Eddie Murphy Is The Klumps

## Cast

* Eddie Murphy - Professor Sherman Klump/Buddy Love/Mama Klump/Papa Klump/Ernie Klump/Grandma Klump
* Janet Jackson - Denise Gaines
* Larry Miller - Dean Richmond
* John Ales - Jason
* Richard Gant - Mr. Gaines
* Anna Maria Horsford - Mrs. Gaines
* Melinda McGraw - Leanne Guilford
* Jamal Mixon - Ernie Klump Jr.
* Wanda Sykes - Chantal
* Freda Payne - Claudine
* Nikki Cox - Student
* Charles Elliott - Restaurant Manager
* Duffy Taylor - Restaurant Trainee
* Earl Boen as Dr. Knoll
* Charles Napier - Four Star General
* Steve Kehela as Scientist
* Miguel A. Núñez, Jr. - Scientist
* Viola Kates Stimpson - Sweet Old Lady with Dog

## External links

* Nutty Professor II: The Klumps quotes at the Internet Movie Database