# Girls With Slingshots

Girls With Slingshots is a webcomic written and drawn by Danielle Corsetto. It is about the everyday trials and tribulations of adulthood, starring two best friends, Hazel and Jamie. It updates five days a week.

## Number 1-99

* Hazel: I don't think inflatable sheep are considered "stuffed animals."
    Number 3
* Hazel: Honey, he's hot, charming, funny, and well-dressed...inevitably, that adds up to "loves the cock."
    Number 18
* Jameson: My and all this time I thought you couldn't smell jealousy.
    Number 42
* Jamie: You know, I'd say you're cute when you're jealous, but you're really not that cute.
    Number 81
* Hazel: Why are all my best compliments in the form of insults?
    Number 87

## Number 100-199

* Hazel: I've never despised an ellipsis so much in my life.
    Number 114
* Jamie: Well, how do you know they don't use the Dewey Decimal System in porn stores?
    Hazel: If by "Dewey" you mean "wet," you may have a point there.
    Number 138
* Hazel: I think I just lost my status as "meanest character."
    Number 167
* Chris: I thought dead hooker jokes were just JOKES!!
    Number 178

## Number 200-299

* Scott: I take it I'm the only one in the room with a steady sex life.
    Number 217
* Hazel: Okay...Denial, Anger, Bargaining...I think I'll skip straight to Depression.
    Number 252
* Hazel: Believe it or not, this is ENTIRELY about me.
    Number 257
* Hazel: You're so mean it makes ME look good.
    Number 294
* Candy: How dare you analyze me so correctly!
    Number 295

## Number 300-399

* Jamie: What IS wrong with Jim?
    Hazel: Besides the fact that we can't figure out what's wrong with him, nothing.
    Number 306
* Jamie: Somewhere, in an alternate universe, you and I are covered in badges!
    Hazel: Meanwhile, in THIS universe, we are going straight to hell.
    Number 333
* Jim: It wasn't a vacation. It was a leave of embarrassment.
    Number 342
* Jamie: I think about kids all the time! I hear they're delicious sauteed in butter.
    Number 383
* Maureen: Jamie, your breasts are...legendary.
    Jamie: You can say it twice. I consider them each a separate legend.
    Number 395

## Number 400-499

* Jamie: Wow. And you aren't even sleeping together.
    Hazel: I know.
    Jamie: This is like a real, grown-up relationship!
    Hazel: I know.
    Jamie: How are you doing this?
    Hazel: Masturbating like CRAZY.
    Number 433
* Hazel: What's this? A miniature pony?
    Zach: In case you didn't like the tickets. All girls like ponies.
    Number 452
* Jamie: We need a Heartbreak Bacardi and some free bartender advice over here!
    Number 496

## Number 500-599

* Hazel: Calling it a "meeting" instead of "drinks" takes all the fun out of it.
    Number 544
* Hazel: Why do you always freak out when I'm in a good mood?
    Jameson: It's weird!
    Number 570
* Hazel: How's it shakin', eggs 'n' bacon?
    Jamie: Large an' loose, like your caboose!
    Number 587

## Number 600-699

* Hazel: That wasn't me, that was my ovaries.
    Number 617
* Jameson: Oh, thank GOD, you're finally getting LAID!
    Number 631
* David: If you're suggesting I have bitchtits, I'm mildly offended. Unless you like bitchtits.
    Number 650
* Jameson: Sorry, I'm afraid you need less Asshole Points to access that information.
    Number 684
* Zach: They're OLD PEOPLE, not ZOMBIES!
    Hazel: But, they're FRAGILE like zombies.
    Number 691

## Number 700-799

* Hazel: "Why are my cat's farts so nasty?" Oh Internet, is there nothing you don't know.
    Number 728
* Jamie: Remind me to trick you into complimenting me more often.
    Number 744
* Candy: Whoa, is that kangaroo hide?
    Number 752
* Zach: Nonsense, you're far too sober to dump me.
    Number 773
* Davan: Which side has the crazier women? I want to feel at home.
    Number 781

## External links

* Girls with Slingshots