# Superhero Movie

Superhero Movie is a 2008 American comedy film that spoofs the superhero genre, in which orphaned high school student Rick Riker is bitten by a radioactive dragonfly, develops super powers (except for the ability to fly), and becomes a hero.
    Written and directed by Craig Mazin.

## Rick Riker/Dragonfly

* If I hadn't pushed her out of the way she would have die...aaaaaaah!
* I think I have...superpowers!
* I'm looking seriously over the city...in a squatting position.
* I met a guy at Craigslist.
* Those are Celine Dion lyrics!
* [to Jill] I realize, we can never be together.

## Lou Landers/Hourglass

* Why yes. This is, healthy cough blood.
* Good. You're a hard-working fine young man. Let's hope you're not brutally murdered, too!
* Are you frickin' insane?!
* No, crazy is hearin' voices, talkin' to cats, datin' Paula Abdul. I am not crazy; I...am a visionary!
* I just shat my pants.
* I met a girl at Craigslist.
* [last words, before being killed by his hourglass bomb] Oh, fuck.

## Uncle Albert

* With great power comes hot bitches.
* Look at you, eatin' junk food, wearin' fake beards.
* You did surgery on me?
* I can't breathe; you're kneelin' on my balls!
* And once a month you'll bleed from your vagina!
* Don't forget about the bitches.

## Lance Landers

* Watch where you're going in slo-mo, dipshit!
* I'll drive.

## Stephen Hawking

* That's a lie. I think of suicide every single day.
* Whatever!
* Hey anyone want to get high? I have some hash with me. White guy in the dreads, you know what I am talking about? Can I get a what-what? Holla! I've got a stiff pole for your sweet hole. Anyone? Anyone? Pussies!
* You have an incredible ass!
* [before falling down after Albert pushed him] Shiiiit!...

## Dr. Whitby

* No, it's not your dead wife.
* Yes, you see, we confused you with one of our sex-change patients, but don't worry, we didn't remove your penis. We did, however, cut off your testicles, but since your wife's dead, you won't be needin' 'em!
* Yes I know... [while fainting]

## Professor Xavier

* How do I know that baby's even mine?!
* SHIT!
* Squatting on a glass table...two girls...one cup...you know what to do!
* We have people who can walk through walls. And we have people who think they can walk through walls!

## Mrs. Xavier

* Because he can do this!
* Make a costume, shit-head! I swear, they're gettin' dumber and dumber every year!
* How's that feel, Invisi-Bitch?!

## Human Torch

* Dude, you're on my gargoyle.
* What are you doing?
* Get a blanket or something!
* Holy shit!
* Get the fire extinguisher!
* Aah, stop you idiot!

## Dialogue

    Lance Landers: Ah, Rick Riker. How are your parents?
    Rick: They died violently nine years ago.
    Lance Landers: But, otherwise okay?
    Mental Hospital Patient: [on phone] No, you listen to me! This is the Empire City Times, not some two-bit rag. I want that story on my desk by the end of business tonight or you're fired! [Presses button for another line] Wilkins, I've got tomorrow's editorial: When you sleep with someone, you're sleeping with everyone they ever slept with! Does that make you gay? Yes, yes it does! [hangs up phone and turns to Rick] Who the hell are you?!
    Rick: Hi i'm Rick Riker, I was wondering if you had a job opening for--
    Mental Hospital Patient: Job?! JOB!? How dare you come in here and ask me for a job! I've turned down millions of saps like you, and i'll turn down a million more. I'm the editor-in-chief! I can start fires with my mind. I know the mayor of Venus! Hamburgers can see the future! Rosie O'Donnell is-[carried out of the office by two men]
    Editor-in-Chief: Sorry about this. We share the building with a mental hospital.
    Dr. Whitby: [about Aunt Lucille] She can't walk, she can't talk. She has no control over her bowels.
    Rick: That's terrible!
    Dr. Whitby: I know. I went ahead and set up a MySpace account for her under "Crazyshitmachine" [Rick looks at him, appaled]. She already has 40 friends.
    Professor Xavier: Hello, Rick.
    Rick: Who are you and how do you know my name?
    Professor Xavier: I'm a psychic.
    Rick: Prove it.
    Professor Xavier: Think of any number between one and a million and I'll tell you what it is.
    Rick: Nine.
    Professor Xavier: Not out loud, dumbass! Come with me, you dumb son-of-a-bitch.
    Chief Karlin: The lady was badly hurt.
    Interviewer: How was she hurt?
    Chief Karlin: Badly!

## Cast

* Drake Bell as Rick Riker/Dragonfly
* Sara Paxton as Jill Johnson
* Christopher McDonald as Lou Landers/Hourglass
* Leslie Nielsen as Uncle Albert
* Kevin Hart as Trey
* Marion Ross as Aunt Lucille
* Ryan Hansen as Lance Landers
* Robert Joy as Stephen Hawking
* Brent Spiner as Dr. Strom
* Jeffrey Tambor as Dr. Whitby
* Tracy Morgan as Professor Xavier
* Regina Hall as Mrs. Xavier
* Pamela Anderson as the Invisible Girl
* Simon Rex as Human Torch
* Craig Bierko as Wolverine

## External links

* Superhero Movie quotes at the Internet Movie Database