# Charlie the Unicorn

Charlie the Unicorn is a series of videos on Youtube that has achieved cult status.

## Charlie the Unicorn 1

* (Set in a meadow during a sunny day as Charlie the Unicorn is asleep on the ground. Pink and Blue unicorns approach him)
BLUE UNICORN
    Hey, Charlie. Hey Charlie, wake up!
PINK UNICORN
    Yeah Charlie. You silly sleepy-head, wake up.
(Charlie wakes up and looks at the two)
CHARLIE THE UNICORN {Groans}
    Oh God, you guys, this had better be pretty freaking important. Is the meadow on fire?
BLUE UNICORN
    No Charlie. We found a map, to Candy Mountain. Candy Mountain, Charlie.
PINK UNICORN
    Yeah, Charlie, we're going to Candy Mountain. Come with us, Charlie.
BLUE UNICORN
    Yeah Charlie, it'll be an adventure. We're going on an adventure, Charlie.
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    Yeah, Candy Mountain, right. I'm just gonna, you know, (puts his head down and closes his eyes) go back to sleep now.
(Blue unicorn flips onto Charlie's back and starts bouncing on him)
BLUE UNICORN {Jumping onto Charlie's back}
    Noooo, Charlie. You have to come with us to Candy Mountain.
PINK UNICORN
    Yeah, Charlie, Candy Mountain. It's a land of sweets and joy...and joyness.
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    Please stop bouncing on me.
BLUE UNICORN {Still jumping up and down on Charlie}
    Candy Mountain Charlie.
PINK UNICORN
    Yeah! Candy Mountain!
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    Alright, fine! I'll come with you to Candy Mountain.
{Cuts to a forest scene as they all walk through a meadow}
BLUE AND PINK UNICORNS {Singing}
    Lalalala, lalalala, lalalala, {continued}
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    Gah, enough with the singing already.
BLUE UNICORN
    Our first stop is over there, Charlie.
{The trio stops by a large dark-greenish creature}
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    Oh God, what is that?
BLUE UNICORN
    It's a Liopleurodon, Charlie.
PINK UNICORN
    A magical Liopleurodon.
BLUE UNICORN
    It's gonna guide our way to Candy Mountain.
CHARLIE UNICORN
    Alright, guys, you do know that there is no actual Candy Mountain, right?
BLUE UNICORN
    Shun the non-believer.
PINK UNICORN
    Shhhunnn.
BLUE UNICORN
    Shhhhhuunnnnnnn-naa
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    Yeah.
{The Liopleurodon groans}
BLUE UNICORN
    It has spoken.
PINK UNICORN
    It's told us the waaaaay.
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    It didn't say anything!
(cuts to the three unicorns in a bridge)
BLUE UNICORN
    It's just over this bridge, Charlie.
PINK UNICORN
    This magical bridge of hope and wonder.
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    Is anyone else getting, like, covered in splinters? Seriously, you guys, we shouldn't be on this thing.
BLUE UNICORN
    Charlie... Charlie~... Charlie~... Cha~~
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    I'M RIGHT HERE! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
BLUE UNICORN
    We're on a bridge, Charlie.
{Cuts to the trio approaching Candy Mountain}
PINK UNICORN
    We're here.
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    Well, what do you know? There actually is a Candy Mountain.
BLUE UNICORN {Dancing and singing}
    Candy Mountain, Candy Mountain, you fill me with sweet sugary goodness.
PINK UNICORN
    Go inside the Candy Mountain cave, Charlie.
BLUE UNICORN
    Yeah, Charlie, go inside the cave. Magical wonders that behold when you enter.
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    Yeah, uh, thanks, but no thanks. I'm gonna stay out here.
PINK UNICORN
    But you have to enter the Candy Mountain candy cave, Charlie.
{Five letters (C, A, N, D, and Y) appear from Candy Mountain and sing and dance.}
Y
    Oh, when you're down and looking for some cheering up,
Then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain cave.
When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land, Such a happy and joyful and perky merry land. They got lollipops and gummy drops and candy things, Oh so many things that will brighten up your day. It's impossible to wear a frown in Candy Town,
It's the mecca of love in the candy cave.
(the letters and the pink and blue unicorn start floating)
    They got jellybeans and coconuts with little hats,
Candy rats, chocolate bats, it's a wonderland of sweets. Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band,
Candy bells, it's a treat as they march across the land.
Cherry ribbons stream across the sky into the ground, Turn around, it astounds, it's the dancing candy tree.
In the candy cave imagination runs so free, So, now, Charlie, please will you go into the cave?
{The five letters collide and burst into flames} {BOOOM}
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    All right, fine, I'll go into the candy cave. This had better be good.
{enters Candy Mountain}
BLUE AND PINK UNICORNS {voices only}
    YaAaAaAaAah...
BLUE UNICORN
    Goodbye, Charlie.
PINK UNICORN
    Yeah, goodbye, Charlie.
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    Goodbye? What?
{The entry of the cave is shut and the cave is submerged in complete darkness}
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    Hey, what's going on here? Hello? Who is that?
{Muffled sounds are heard to indicate that Charlie is being knocked out}
{Cuts to scene of a meadow where Charlie lies on the ground with a large cut on his side}
CHARLIE THE UNICORN
    Oh, no, what happened? {notices the cut} Oh, they took my freaking kidney!

## Charlie the Unicorn 2

* (Charlie is seen watching television with his stuff. The pink and blue unicorns are floating above Charlie, wearing scuba goggles, flippers, and air tanks with snorkels, pretending to swim)
Blue
    Glub-glub, glub-glub, glub-glub, glub-glub, glub
Blue
    Look over there! It's a coral reef!
Charlie
    Oh look, it's you guys... and you're floating.
Blue
    Charlie, we're scuba diving, Charlie.
Pink
    We're exploring the depths of the ocean blue.
Blue
    Oh no! Here comes a school of poisonous fugu fish!
Pink
    Nooo! Fugu!
Charlie
    Ah, you gotta watch out for those. So, uh... go away. I'm watching TV.
(A blue vortex appears on Charlie's back)
Blue
    The vortex is open!
Charlie
    Oh god. Okay, what is this?!
Blue
    Charlie! We’re being pulled into the vortex!
Pink
    Swim away, fugu fish, swim away!
Charlie
    Come on now. YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING ME OUT! Turn this thing off!
Blue
    There's no stopping the vortex, Charlie!
Pink
    Fuuuguuuu!
(Pink and Blue disappear, along with the vortex)
Charlie
    Guys? Guuuys? Or girls... I'm, I'm really not sure what you two are.
(The vortex appears with Blue's head sticking out)
Blue
    Charlie! Charlie, I have the amulet.
Charlie
    What amulet?! What's going on?!
Blue
    The amulet, Charlie! The magical amulet. Sparkles sparkles!
(Pink appears briefly)
Pink
    Sp! Sparkle!
Charlie
    I, I don't understand what you're talking about!
Blue
    The amulet... Nyeh! Nyeh!!!
(Blue disappears. Both Pink and Blue pop out of the vortex, which disappears. Blue has the amulet around its neck. Their scuba outfits are gone.)
Blue
    We did it!
Pink
    We got the amulet!
Charlie
    Great. Now go away! I'm tired of the horrible things that happen when you're around!
Blue
    No, Charlie!
Pink
    No!
(Pink and Blue puff up while screaming "No", then turn back to normal)
Blue
    We have to take the amulet to the Banana King.
Charlie
    Oh, yes, The Banana King, of course. ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Pink
    He, he's counting on us, Charlie! (Pink starts floating) ah...
Blue
    If we don't give the amulet to the Banana King, the vortex will open and let out a thousand years of darkness.
Pink
    No! Darkness! (Pink is floating in the air)
(The vortex appears again with tentacles sticking out. Roaring is heard.)
Charlie
    Ah! All right, fine! I'll go! I'll go!
Pink and Blue
    Yay! (Just Pink) Darkness!
(Cut to the three walking through the woods. Pink and Blue are making tongue-blooping sounds)
Charlie
    What are you two doing?
(Silence. Pink and Blue continue with their tongue-blooping)
Charlie
    Stop that.
(Silence. Then Blue makes one last tongue-bloop)
(The three stop in front of a big Letter Z)
Charlie
    Oh, look at that.
Pink and Blue
    Z!!!
Blue
    ¡El hombre con el sombrero nos envió! (The man with the hat sent us!)
Pink
    ¡Él nos cuenta muchas historias asombrosas! (He told us many amazing stories!)
(The Letter Z makes pinging sounds)
Pink and Blue
    Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!
Charlie
    What?
Pink
    ¡Cenemos en tortugas esta noche! (Tonight we dine on turtles!)
Blue
    ¡Se ven buenos, elos, Z! (They look good, do they, Z!)
(The Letter Z shoots a laser at Charlie)
Charlie
    Ahh! What did you two do?!
Pink and Blue
    Z!!!
Blue
    ¡Soy félez! (I'm happy!)
(The Letter Z, again, makes pinging sounds)
Pink and Blue
    Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!
(The pink and blue unicorn walk on; the Z turns red)
Charlie
    (mumbled) Just keep walking, Charlie, keep walking...
(The three stop in front of a giant sneaker)
Blue
    Hop on board the train, Charlie.
Pink
    It's gonna take us to the Banana King.
Charlie
    I don't see any train. All I see is a giant sneaker.
Blue
    It's the Choo Choo Shoe, Charlie.
Pink
    The Choo Choo Shoe!
Blue
    Hurry, Charlie. It's about to leave.
(Pink and Blue get in the sneaker)
Pink and Blue
    Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga shoe shoooooe! Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga shooe shoooooe!
Charlie
    Yeah, uh I forgot my boarding pass. I'll just walk.
(Cut to the three in front of a banana-themed temple emblazoned with the words EX ORIENTE LUX BANANA, which is probably meant to be bad Latin for "From the east, the light of a banana")
Pink
    We're here, Charlie!
Blue
    The Temple of the Banana King!
Charlie
    Great. Let's leave the amulet and go home.
(A green slug-like creature resembling Santa Claus pops out of nowhere, smiling. According to filmcow.com, the creature's name is Frogrus. He is known to be the Banana King's servant)
Charlie
    Who is that?
(Silence)
Charlie
    No, no really. You guys see it, right?
(Silence)
Charlie
    I gotta be honest. I'm getting creeped out here. Somebody say something!
(Frogrus suddenly starts to sing)
Frogrus
    Charlie, you look quite down with your big fat eyes and your big fat frown. The world doesn't have to be so grey.
(the background changes from outside the banana kings temple to outer space with a disco floor with a blue circle behind them)
Frogrus
    Charlie, when your life's a mess, when you're feeling blue, always in distress, I know what can wash that sad away. All you have to do is... put a banana in your ear!
Charlie
    A banana in my ear?
Frogrus
    Put a ripe banana right into your favorite ear! It's true.
Charlie
    Says who?
Frogrus
    So true. Once it's in your gloom will disappear. The bad in the world is hard to hear, when in your ear a banana cheers. So go and put a banana in your ear!
(zooms out to see a chorus of huge bananas in the background and Blue unicorn floating on the left and Pink unicorn on the right)
Frogrus and Bananas
    Put a banana in your ear!
Charlie
    I'd rather keep my ear clear.
Frogrus and Bananas
    You'll ne'er be happy if you live your life in fear. It's true.
Charlie
    Says you.
Frogrus and Bananas
    So true. When it's in the skies are bright and clear. Oh every day of every year. The sun shines bright on this big blue sphere. So go and put a banana-
Frogrus
    -in your earrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
(Frogrus disappears in flames)
Charlie
    Oh, of course, he burst into flames.
Blue
    Go forth, magical amulet! Return to the Banana King!
(The amulet goes forth from around Blue's neck, floats into the air, and shines a beam of light at Charlie)
Blue
    Charlie! You're the Banana King!
(Charlie is floating to the amulet from the beam of light)
Charlie
    What? Hey, hey, hold on a minute!
(A banana appears on Charlie's back)
Banana
    You're the Banana King, Charlie!
Charlie
    No! I'm not! That doesn't even make sense!
Blue
    All hail the Banana King!
Charlie
    I'm not the Banana King!
Blue
    You are the Banana King!
Charlie
    No, no! I... I...
(Suddenly, more bananas appear on Charlie's back)
Bananas
    Banana! Banana! Banana! Banana! Banana!
(A crown plops on Charlie's head)
Charlie
    I... I am the Banana King!
Pink and Blue
    Yay!
Banana
    You are the Banana King!
Charlie
    I'm the Banana King! Yeah!
(Charlie notices that Pink and Blue have disappeared)
Charlie
    Heh, hey... Where'd you go? Guys? Hello? Get me down from here!
(The beam of light disappears, causing Charlie and the amulet to fall on the ground, and the crown falls off of Charlie's head)
Charlie
    Augh! Okay, that's a sprain.
(Cut to Charlie walking through the woods alone)
Charlie
    Hello? Hellooo?! Guys, where are you?
(Charlie sees that his TV and the rest of his stuff is gone)
Charlie
    Argh! You gotta be... Great! They robbed me!
(Suddenly, the vortex from earlier appears, with Blue's head sticking out)
Charlie
    Ahh!
Blue
    Charlie!
Charlie
    What?! What do you want?!
(Silence)
Blue
    (Tongue-bloop noise from earlier. Blue then disappears back into the Vortex.)
(Music plays and the credits begin to roll)

## Charlie the Unicorn 3

(Charlie is walking alone in a forest)
(Echoey voice resembling Blue/Pink's)
    Charlieeee.
Charlie
    Hello? Is someone there?
(Echoey voice)
    Charlieeee.
Charlie
    What? What do you want?
(silence)
Charlie
    (grunts)
Pink and Blue
    (materialize in a flash of light, wearing sunglasses and futuristic-looking things around their necks) Charlie!
Charlie
    Gah! Ah! Give me a heart attack, that's fine!
Blue
    We're from the future, Charlie!
Charlie
    Oh, I bet.
Pink
    The world is in perillll.
Blue
    All that is good has been consumed by evil!
Pink
    (Pink's eye begins to glow) The end is nigh! Nighhh!
(Pink and Blue disappear into a smoky grey cloud, where several copies of Blue and Pink's heads in various sizes emerge then disappear back into the cloud)
Charlie
    Yep, so THAT was the scariest thing I've ever seen.
Blue
    Come with us to the future!
Pink
    We need your help to finish our snowman!
Charlie
    Snowman? What are you going on about?
Blue
    There's no time to explain!
Pink
    Grab onto our tongues!
Charlie
    How do I-
Blue and Pink
    Blehhh!
(Blue and Pink's tongues shoot out of their mouths and drape themselves on Charlie)
Charlie
    Ohhhh that is so gross!
(the three disappear in a flash of white light, then reappear in a similar flash exactly where they were before)
(Blue and Pink's Future Costumes have disappeared)
Blue
    Charlie, we're here!
Pink
    In the futureee! (blows party horn)
Charlie
    This looks exactly the same!
Blue
    Shhhh, you'll wake the Umu.
Charlie
    (blinks) Umu?
Pink
    We need to get to the river.
Blue
    And we gotta be sneaky.
(Blue and Pink start floating in the air, and bending their legs like they're made of rubber)
Pink
    We gotta be sneaky, Charlie, sssneaky.
Charlie
    Yeah, there's no way I can do that with my legs.
Pink
    Oh no! Listen!
Blue
    The Umu has awoken! Run!
Charlie
    What are you- I don't hear anything!
Blue
    Hurry! Look out for the Yomyoms!
Pink
    They're everywherrrrrrre!
Charlie
    What am I missing here?
Blue
    Narshlogs! Coming in from above!
Pink
    Evasive maneuvers! (Starts to float away) Neh! Nyehhh!
Blue
    Charlie! Look out for the Bleh-bleh-bleh!
Charlie
    (groans) Can I go home yet?
(Cuts to a river with a large duck-shaped boat which Pink and Blue are already on)
Pink
    Charlie, get on the duck!
Blue
    The Bleh-bleh-bleh are right behind us!
Charlie
    I think I'll take my chances with the Oompoos and the Wawas.
Pink
    Oh no! A Narshlog has got Charlie!
Blue
    Quickly! Grab onto our tongues!
Blue and Pink
    Bleh!
(Blue and Pink's tongues shoot out of their mouths and drape over Charlie)
Charlie
    Oh! Aw, really? Again with the tongues?
(Cuts to Charlie, Pink and Blue on the duck-boat, riding down the river.)
Blue
    Ring, ring.
Pink
    Hellooo?
Blue
    Ring, ring.
Pink
    H-he-hellooo?
Blue
    Ring, ring.
Pink
    Helloooooo?
Blue
    Ring, ring.
Pink
    H-hello?
Blue
    ...Ring, ring.
Charlie
    You have a bad connection!
Blue
    Time to go down below!
Pink
    Into the liquid abyss!
(The duck-boat begins to sink into the river)
Charlie
    Oh my God, hey, hey! I can't swim! Or breathe underwater!
Blue
    Ring, ring.
Pink
    Hello?
Charlie
    I'm serious, I'm going to drown!
(talking over Charlie)
Blue
    Ring, ring.
Pink
    Hellooo?
Blue
    Ring, ring.
Pink
    Hellooo?
Charlie
    What does this have to do with snowmen?
Blue
    Ring, ring.
Pink
    Helloooblubblubblub
(duckboat sinks into the river with Charlie, Pink and Blue on it)
(Cuts to scene where the duckboat is floating to the floor of what looks to be the ruins of a castle)
Blue
    See, Charlie? Look!
Pink
    This is where we've hidden the snowman!
Charlie
    Yeah, to save the world, right? I'm not even gonna ask how I'm still alive. 'Cause you know what I think? I think I died long ago and you two are my eternal punishment.
Blue
    You're like a constant downer, huh?
(Cuts to scene a where Charlie, Pink, and Blue are walking through the ruins)
Pink
    To get to the snowman we need to first pass-(camera zooms out to reveal a door standing alone in front of the trio) the Dooooor!
Blue
    The Dooooor!
Charlie
    The Door?
Pink
    Th-the Door!
Charlie
    What is the Door?
Blue
    The Door is everything!
Pink
    All that once was and all that will be!
(The door begins to float and multicolored light begin to flash)
Blue
    The Door controls Time and Space!
Pink
    Love and Death!
Blue
    The Door can see into your mind!
Pink
    (Pink's pupil contracts) The Door can see into your SOUL!
Charlie
    Really, th-the Door can do all that?
Pink
    Heh, no.
(Cuts to a scene where Charlie, Blue and Pink are walking through the ruins again.)
Blue
    We're almost there, Charlie. It's right at the end of this-Oh my God it's a whale!
Pink
    Nooooo! Whaaaale!
(Shadow of a whale passes over the trio)
(silence)
(Shadow moves on)
Blue
    Just a few more steps and-Oh my God it's a Narwhal!
Pink
    Noooo! Narwhaaaaal! Narwhal of deathhhhh! It's gonna kill us!
(Shadow of a Narwhal passes over the trio)
(Silence)
(Shadow moves on)
Blue
    It's right up ahead now! You can see the-Oh my God it's a-
Charlie
    Stop it! Stop it! I don't care about each and every sea creature you see!
Pink
    But, Charlie! They care about you!
(Music begins as a beam of light covers Charlie and he begins to float upwards)
Charlie
    Oh, no. No! No! Noo!
(Charlie lands on the top of a pillar, and what seems to be a goat-seal hybrid floats on screen with a bunch of balloons then lets them go.)
Goat-seal
    (singing) When you're feeling all alone, the world's a drone, and nobody's shown any love to you,
Charlie
    (speaking) I can't tell if you're adorable or creepy.
Goat-seal
    (singing) When your heart is cold as stone, just change your tone, get rid of that groan, and the world will too!
Charlie
    Probably gonna go with creepy.
Goat-seal
    'Cause Swordfishes-
Swordfish
    Love you.
Goat-seal
    Jellyfishes-
Jellyfish
    Love you.
Goat-seal
    Starfishes-
Starfish
    I LOVE YOU!!
Goat-seal
    You know it's true. Catfishes-
Catfish
    Love you.
Goat-seal
    Carpfishes-
Carpfish
    Love you.
Goat-seal
    Blowfishes-
(Starfish cuts in front of blowfish)
Starfish
    STARFISH REALLY LOVES YOU!
Goat-seal
    In the ocean blue!
(Shrimp wearing a golden chain around his neck and sunglasses appears with a bright orange background and begins to rap)
Lungfish, Blackfish, Alligator, Icefish, Armourhead, Hammerhead, Anaconda, Flathead, Manta Ray, Sting Ray, Fangtooth Moray, Goblin shark, Grass Carp, Round River Bat Ray, Noodlefish, Hagfish, Man O' War, Ladyfish, Black Eel, Baby seal, Sprat, Koi, Electric Eel, Lamprey, Pejerey, Yellow-edged Moray, Salmon Shark, Sleeper Shark, Featherback and Eagle Ray!
(cuts back to Charlie and the Goat-seal)
Goat-seal
    Well, you can ignore this plea. That's fine with me, But one day you'll see, That my words are true!
Charlie
    Please stop singing to me.
Goat-seal
    What if, You find that you agree? I guarantee, That you will soon be Feeling the love too!
Charlie
    I can't wait.
Goat-seal
    'Cause Swordfishes-
Swordfish
    Love you.
Goat-seal
    Jellyfishes-
Jellyfish
    Love you.
Goat-seal
    Starfishes-
Starfish
    I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER!
Goat-seal
    You know it's true! Catfishes-
Catfish
    Love you.
Goat-seal
    Carpfishes-
Carpfish
    Love you.
Goat-seal
    Blowfishes-
(Starfish cuts in front of blowfish)
Starfish
    STARFISH! LOVE ME! LOVE ME!
Goat-seal
    In the ocean BLUEEE!
(Goat-seal floats off a bit and explodes)
(music ends)
Charlie
    (floats back down to the ground) Oh, there goes everyone exploding. (camera zooms out to reveal a nose-less snowman standing on a pillar) Oh, hey, look at that. Hey guys! I found the snowman! What did you want me to do? Guys?
(green tendrils of smoke start rising from the ground.)
Charlie
    What the-Oh, sleeping gas! Of course. Why did I expect any different?
(Charlie collapses, the screen goes black)
(cuts to scene with Charlie laying on the ground in a field of tundra, and it's snowing. His horn is gone.)
Charlie
    (wakes up) Uh, oh, oh! Where am I? Hey! What happened to my horn?!
(camera zooms out to reveal the snowman with Charlie's horn as its nose)
Charlie
    Oh! Come on, really! What did that accomplish?! Why would- (camera zooms out to reveal a pink glob in the snowman's side) Oh, look it's my kidney.
(cuts to credits)

## Charlie the Unicorn 4

(Charlie is walking in a forest. all of a sudden, pink and blue unicorns come out of nowhere on a ship on fire)
Blue Unicorn
    We have engine failure!
Pink Unicorn
    Emergency systems are offline!
Charlie
    What?
Blue Unicorn
    Hull breach, we have a hull breach!
Pink Unicorn
    Abandon ship, we are going down!
Charlie
    Whatever, I’m leaving.
(Charlie starts walking off)
Pink Unicorn
    There’s no time to evacuate. This is the end! Ahh!
Blue Unicorn
    There is no god!
(the ship explodes and pink and blue unicorns land in front of Charlie)
Blue Unicorn
    Charlie, we don’t have much time.
Pink Unicorn
    We need to get to the moon
Blue Unicorn
    IN OUTER SPACE! I don’t know why I yelled that...
Charlie
    The moon, why do you need that?
Pink Unicorn
    Drum solo,(pink unicorn darts around the place) BUM TA TA TA TA﻿ TA TA!
Charlie
    What’s on the moon? Why do you need that?
Blue Unicorn
    A huge scary Millipede.
Charlie
    That’s – What?
Pink Unicorn
    It’s using gross slimy Millipede power to destroy the cavern of the red wind. The most-
Charlie
    I don’t care, I don’t know why we’ve been asking, it’s obvious, I have no actual choice here, how about we save some time and just go to the freakin’ moon.
Blue Unicorn
    Oh, my god, that would be amazing.
(the ground turns upside down and Charlie falls into the sky)
Charlie
    Ah ohhh – I don’t understand, how you can do these things?(the trio are floating in space) So how long is this going to take?
Blue Unicorn
    Oh, Charlie, there a big old bug on your face.
Charlie
    What, where? Is this the Millipede?
Pink Unicorn
    Oh my god, Charlie, Charlie get it off.
Charlie
    I don’t feel anything.
Blue Unicorn
    Oh, it’s so gross – okay.
Pink Unicorn
    Police, police.
Blue Unicorn
    (imitates siren with voice) This is the police, we have you surrounded Mr. Bug.
Pink Unicorn
    Taser him!.
(blue unicorn Tasers Charlie)
Charlie
    No, hey…
Pink Unicorn
    He is resisting arrest.
(Charlie gets tasered again)
Charlie
    No, stop it, there is no bug.
Pink Unicorn
    He has got a gun.
(Charlie gets tasered again)
Charlie
    No, oh god.
Pink Unicorn
    He’s got another gun.
(Charlie gets tasered again)
Charlie
    Oh.
(the three are approaching the moon. they land)
Pink Unicorn
    We are here.
Charlie
    Yah!
Blue Unicorn
    You ready Charlie, I believe in you.
Charlie
    Ready for what?
Pink Unicorn
    Behold the Millipede.
(A giant Millipede spurts out of the lunar soil).
Charlie
    oh, ungh – here we go...
Millipede (singing)
    I’m a Millipede, I am amazing.
I command you to gaze upon my face. You’ll never find someone charming as I am, I’m the swankiest bug out in space.
I’m a star, I’m a god, I’m a thing to behold. There is none as resplendent as I, with my sleek little legs and my three hundred eggs, Oh, my majesty none can deny.
Because I’m a Millipede, I’m mysterious, when I vanish, I never leave a trace. You will not find a bug with such illusions, I’m a creature of fathomless grace.
Alien bugs (chorus)
    Millipede means allure -
Millipede means couture - Millipede meets grandeur Millipede means saviour Millipede means mature - Millipede means so pure - Millipede means the cure for all lesser breeds.
Millipede (singing)
    I’m a Millipede, I’m a champion, no one else in the universe keeps pace.
You will never find someone quite so enchanting, while I’m here there’s just no second place. I’m an idol, a king, I’m an object of awe, there is none quite so gleaming as I. I’ve got glamour to spare, you are right when you stare. I’m the who, what, when, where and the why.
Join me.
alien bugs/millipede
    I’m a(She is a) Millipede, I’m (she is) astounding,(wings spread on the millipede) wisdom floats from my personage like lace.
You will never find someone darling as I am, (as she is.) I’m the (She's the) swankiest, tutelary pest, certainly best dressed, bug out in space.
(The Millipede bursts).
Blue Unicorn
    You did it Charlie, you defeated the Millipede.
Charlie
    It’s just exploded like everything does when it sings to me.
(the cave starts glowing red on the inside)
Blue Unicorn
    Wow, wow. The cavern is open.
Charlie
    Oh, no, I don’t want to do it, I can’t take anymore of this, you two, you’re just horrible.
Blue Unicorn
    But Charlie listen to me, this is the most important thing we’ve ever needed you for, if you go into the cavern, we’ll never bother you again.
Charlie
    Never?
Pink Unicorn:(Pink unicorn is tiny and on Charlie's back) We promise, it will be the last you ever see of us Charlie.
Charlie
    Okay, okay, I’ll go in.
Blue Unicorn
    Charlie, you are in dream machine.
(It can be heard "Dream machine" like in an old video game).
Charlie
    All right, so we’re in, what do I do?
(A big bomb with a countdown timer appears)
Charlie
    Ah, what is that?
Blue Unicorn
    We’ve gotten kind of bored.
Pink Unicorn
    Were also bored of the moon
Blue Unicorn
    So we’re going to blow it up.
Charlie
    What? Okay and how do we get back to earth?
(Pink and blue unicorn start floating away)
Pink Unicorn
    Bye Charlie.
Blue Unicorn
    You’ll always kind of smelled like a bush, just thought you’d want to know?
Charlie
    Oh, you guys are going little far this time ah? Guys, guys, guys.
(The starfish seen in the 3rd "Charlie the unicorn" appears).
Starfish
    Charlie, we don’t have much time.
Charlie
    Oh, starfish, they’re – they’re trying to kill me.
Starfish
    Oh, all will be explained, but first, you need to wish on me.
Charlie
    What?
Starfish
    I’m a star, make a wish, wish to go home.
Charlie
    All right, but what happens to you?
Starfish
    Just do it, my love! Wish!
Charlie
    I wish to go home.
Starfish
    Oh.
(The starfish bursts into flames).
Charlie
    Oh my god.
(the moon explodes)
Pink Unicorn
    Yeah, bye, Charlie.
Blue Unicorn
    Okay, who is next? (Charlie appears in front of them) Oh, hello.
Pink Unicorn
    Well, this is embarrassing.
(The starfish falls from the sky).
Starfish
    Oh, YOLO!

## YouTube Live: Charlie the Unicorn

(Charlie is walking through a forest, when a portal from another dimension opens.)
Charlie
    Ugh, what now?
(Pink and Blue suddenly walk beside him.)
Pink
    Charlie, it's happening!
Charlie
    Huh? What's happening? What's goin' on?
Blue
    YouTube Live, Charlie!
Pink
    It's where the Internet and real life combine!
(Blue's eye suddenly inflates to an enormous size as he flips around in the air, like a piece of paper, as he says the following line of dialogue)
Blue
    In THREEE-DEEEEE! Nyeh, heh, heh, Nyeh, Nyeeeeeeeeeh!
Charlie
    Oh my God, if the Internet leaks into real life, everywhere you look, fat guys will be falling over in slow motion, cats will be doing people things, Rick Astley will make a comeback!
Blue (Still floating in air)
    Never gonna give you up!
Pink
    Never gonna let you dooooown!
(Lightning crackles as chocolate starts raining from the sky)
Blue
    It has beguuuuun!
Charlie
    Oh my God, it's raining chocolate!
(A creepy, distorted version of Rick Astley with tentacle arms, sharp teeth, a forked tongue, and white eyes emerges from the portal)
Rick Astley
    Blaaaaaaargh!
Charlie
    Aah, it's Rick Astley, run!
Blue
    Hooray for the collapse of civilization!
Pink
    Down with democracy!
Charlie
    What is wrong with you two?!
(Pink and blue suddenly don an Ushanka, have a long beard, and a star-shaped necklace around their necks, and begin speaking Russian)
Blue
    Мое судно на воздушной! (My hovercraft...)
Pink
    подушке полно угрей! (...Is full of eels!)
(The screen suddenly flashes white and the group are transported to a blank, white room with a message at the top saying, "We are currently performing site maintenance. Be cool - We'll be back 100% in a bit.")
Charlie
    Hey, what happened? (Looks up at the message) Oh, good. YouTube has gone into maintenance mode. For now, we're safe.
Pink
    We're also... No strangers to love.
(The portal opens up again.)
Charlie
    Hey, don't do that. He'll come back!
Blue (In a singsong voice)
    ...You know the rules!
Rick Astley (In a deep, unsettling voice)
    ...And so do I! Bluuuuuuuh!
Charlie
    Aaaaah!
Blue
    Nooooooo!
Pink (Wears an Ushanda, beard, necklace, and speaks Russian again)
    Коммунизм! (Communism!)
LINK TO VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FXMYsMvs1A