# 21 Expected Difficult Questions With Simple Answers/Sexuality

Some of the questions might be really disturbing, But that's the purpose of this book to collect and answer those difficult and tricky questions. Currently, this page contains questions related to the LGBTIQ+ community only but we intend to add more questions to cover the maximum of the sexual behaviors and identities.

## Why do members of Hijda community prefer begging over paid work?

--> The Hijda community from the Asian continent is a culturally recognized community of the local population. Culturally, they participate in Hindu and Muslim rituals like the birth of a child and marriage. Members of the community come to bless and also identify the sex of the newborn. Similarly, they also bless the newlywed couple and sing songs to praise the local deity and celebrate the auspicious moment. The Hijda community was also assumed to be in possession of supernatural powers to bless and curse, an ability achieved through their sacrifice of manhood and worship of various goddesses. In return for their services, hijda community members were paid hefty amounts. But such big events don't really come every day. So, to fulfill their everyday needs, they beg. As only who were forbidden from possessing any assets including land were earning their livelihood by begging. So sages, priests, and hijdas who were worshippers too made living by begging. And in ancient India begging was a holy way of earning a living. With changing times and newly accepted victorian morality in the last couple of centuries we lost the prestige. But with the increased taboo on hijda community, they were forced to do only and only begging. Now there are many hijdas who are well educated and well trained in many trades and are struggling to fetch jobs in their respected fields.

## Do lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people spread diseases like HIV (Aids)?

--> Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and HIV (an infection, which can progress to the desease Aids if untreared) spread through unsafe sexual practices (e.g. "unprotected" sex). While rates of HIV are disproportionately higher among members of the LGBTQ+ community, HIV is by no means confined to LGBTQ+ people. Anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression or other factors - can acquire HIV. The "super spreader" in the case of HIV are factors like the use of unsafe sexual practices, unequal access to healthcare (further due to geographic location or economic status) and discrimination. Dealing with the potential consequences of bias and discrimination in life – job loss, homelessness, lack of healthcare insurance – often results in LGBTQ+ people engaging in behaviors that facilitate the spread of HIV.
The good news is that due to the burden of advocacy and other awareness works done around these issues, many people, especially LGBTQ+ are more and more into safe sexual practices. The yearly number of new infections and deaths world wide, due to HIV has fallen non-stop since the late 1990s.

## No matter what you say about it, talking about all this is obscene and not so good

-> Talking about sexuality, sexual acts, sexual orientation, sexual desires, and sexual health is necessary to live a healthy and peaceful life. Talking about sexuality also makes us aware of issues of sexual health, and reproductive health.

## As IPC377 was repealed in India, so can gays get married to each other?

-> IPC377 was about the criminalization of gay sex. Before two men could not engage in anal/oral sex. But now they can do it, given the condition that they are consenting adults and they are doing it in private.

## Gays and Lesbians achieve sexual pleasure through unnatural ways

--> Anal/oral sex are the ways in which they satisfy themselves if they want to do penetrative sex at all. Otherwise, most and even many heterosexuals seek pleasure through non-penetrative sexual acts. Our view of penetrative that too peno-vaginal sex is a normal and natural way to seek sexual pleasure is wrong. Not all of them heterosexuals prefer it. So if some homosexual couples choose to go for anal/oral sex, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

## Gay, lesbian and Queer its all western influences, We Indians do not have such weird things

--> Yes these words are definitely English and came from the west, but such identities always existed in all the non-western parts of the world. In India, we have a long history of all sorts of queer individuals playing important roles in all walks of life. Shikhandi, Arjuni, Ayyappa are a few examples of this.

## What is gay? Why all of them are so feminine/girlish?

-> Not all but many homosexual men identify themselves as gay and in old English lesbian women were called gay women. Most of them are not feminine/girlish in fact very few are. Sexual orientation has very little to do with their gender expression.

## What is hijda? why they are so loud

--> Most of the transgenders and especially from the non-western world, transgender communities existed for ages. And currently, they are forced to be in closets in their own worlds so that they won't pollute

## Are 'gay', 'Hijda' and 'transgender' the same thing?

-> Usually, homosexual men who have access to modern English vocabulary and western culture tend to identify themselves as gay. While homosexual woman used to be refered to as gay woman, the term lesbian is more common today. Those who identify with the opposite gender than they were assigned at birth are transgender (or short trans). Lastly, hijra is cultural identity falls under transgender umbrella so Gay or Lesbian refers to the sexual orientation of an individual and being a transgender refers to gender identity and expression so Gays and Hijras are not same.

## Why are all gays feminine and all lesbians manly?

--> It's a myth that gays are feminine and all lesbians manly. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with the kind of gender expression one might have. feminine males may or may not be gay, similarly, lesbians may or may not be masculine in their gender expression. We need to understand that being overtly manly or feminine has nothing to do with their sexual orientations. But which gender they prefer for their intimate desires decides what is their sexual orientation.

## What genitals do Hijdas have?

-> Hijda/Male-to-female transgenders may have anything in between their legs. that doesn't define them as transgenders but identifying themselves as transgender does. So gender identity is something self define. No other person has any right to define or force any gender identity on any person. So even in the case of intersex persons, it is advocated that the person born with ambiguous genitals should not be operated on until they are adults and they give consent to the surgeries.

## Why all the transgender/Hijdas are so loud in their behavior and expressions?

-> Not many hijdas are loud by themselves. There are many hijdas who are working as professionals and being business owners, receptionists, and security guards they have already reached dignified positions so their voice is heard and they can keep social civility in their behavior. But many are not that fortunate Hijda community, and transgenders, in general, are kept unheard for long. until they start loud, there is less chance that they will be noticed at all. So to be able to start the communication they need to be loud.

## What is rape? Can men be raped?

--> As per definition, rape is sexual act forced upon someone against their will. Historically, rape was defined as, a crime committed solely against females. Still, primarily committed by males against females, rape of males is now commonly criminalized and has been subject to more discussion than in the past.