# Married... with Children season 5

This is a list of episodes for the fifth season (1990–91) of the television series Married... with Children.
In the middle of the fifth season, Marcy awakes next to Jefferson D'Arcy and discovers that she is now married to him. This is the first appearance of Al's favorite show (Psycho Dad), and the first mention of his four touchdowns in a single game.
Katey Sagal was absent for one episode. Amanda Bearse also missed two episodes.

## Episodes

| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original release date | Prod. code | U.S. viewers (millions) |
| 81 | 1 | "We'll Follow the Sun" | Gerry Cohen | Ron Leavitt & Michael G. Moye | September 24, 1990 (1990-9-24) | 502 | 19.3 |
| Looking to spend more time with his family, Al takes the Bundys on a Labor Day drive, which comes to a premature end when they get stuck in a massive traffic jam. ||||||||
| 82 | 2 | "Al... with Kelly" | Gerry Cohen | Story by : Gabrielle Topping Teleplay by : Stacie Lipp | October 1, 1990 (1990-10-1) | 501 | 22.8 |
| Al and Kelly fake getting sick in order to get out of having to visit Peg's mother for the week. With both Peg and Bud gone, Al begins to fantasize about two blonde women who fight over him (one of which is played by Pamela Anderson) — but things get sticky when Kelly really does come down with a cold and needs her father to care for her. Note: Amanda Bearse does not appear in this episode ||||||||
| 83 | 3 | "Sue Casa, His Casa" | Gerry Cohen | Kevin Curran | October 8, 1990 (1990-10-8) | 503 | 19.8 |
| After Al refuses to get insurance for his car, Bud and Kelly get in an accident with a man in a Mercedes. The Mercedes owner sues them for a million dollars and they counter sue him for a "jillion" dollars using fake injuries and Marcy's testimony. ||||||||
| 84 | 4 | "The Unnatural" | Gerry Cohen | Katherine Green | October 15, 1990 (1990-10-15) | 504 | 21.9 |
| Al is replaced by a more professional softball player during the championship games. When the new player is injured, Al takes over. ||||||||
| 85 | 5 | "The Dance Show" | Gerry Cohen | Arthur Silver | October 22, 1990 (1990-10-22) | 505 | 23.5 |
| Peg meets a handsome man (Sam McMurray) at a dance club, while Al meets the handsome man's husband (played by Simpsons voice actor Dan Castellaneta). Unknowing that the handsome man is homosexual, Peg flirts with him. His husband cooks a nice meal for Al. ||||||||
| 86 | 6 | "Kelly Bounces Back" | Gerry Cohen | Al Aidekman | October 29, 1990 (1990-10-29) | 506 | 20.9 |
| Kelly auditions as spokesmodel for the new Allanté with the "Bundy Bounce," but her idea is stolen by one of her rivals (Tia Carrere). Meanwhile, Peg refuses to do housework until Al realizes that he needs her. ||||||||
| 87 | 7 | "Married... with Aliens" | Gerry Cohen | Ellen L. Fogle | November 5, 1990 (1990-11-5) | 507 | 20.9 |
| After a severe head injury, Al begins to see aliens who steal his socks, which they need to fuel their ships to stop a cosmic disaster, but everyone else thinks Al is going insane. ||||||||
| 88 | 8 | "Wabbit Season" | Gerry Cohen | Ron Leavitt & Michael G. Moye | November 12, 1990 (1990-11-12) | 508 | 18.9 |
| After suffering a nervous breakdown at work during a midnight sale, Al gets into gardening to relieve his stress, but soon finds himself at war with a rabbit stealing his carrots, causing chaos for the Bundys and Marcy in the process. ||||||||
| 89 | 9 | "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" | Gerry Cohen | Kevin Curran | November 19, 1990 (1990-11-19) | 509 | 20.4 |
| Al becomes obsessed with his appearance after the neighborhood women begin admiring his handyman skills. Al then undergoes a makeover for himself as a handsome and confident person, but his new and improved appearance and attitude becomes troubling to Peg and the kids who don't know how to react to this; not so much that Al is being a nice person for once in his life, but because that his behavior is very unlike Al. ||||||||
| 90 | 10 | "One Down, Two to Go" | Gerry Cohen | Ralph R. Farquhar | November 26, 1990 (1990-11-26) | 510 | 24.2 |
| Kelly moves out after Al kicks out one of her boyfriends. While Al revels in one of his kids leaving, Peg worries that she wasn't a good mother and begins coddling Bud. ||||||||
| 91 | 11 | "And Baby Makes Money" | Gerry Cohen | Art Everett | December 17, 1990 (1990-12-17) | 511 | 17.6 |
| Following the death and funeral of Al's uncle, Stymie Bundy (the only male Bundy relative who was single and wealthy), Al and Peg begin having sex so they can be the first to inherit Stymie's $500,000 inheritance by bearing a Bundy child born in wedlock. But Peg, who doesn't want to get pregnant again, secretly begins taking birth control pills. ||||||||
| 92 | 12 | "Married... with Who" | Gerry Cohen | Ellen L. Fogle | January 7, 1991 (1991-1-7) | 512 | 20.8 |
| After a wild night at a banker convention, Marcy wakes up and discovers that she's married to a strange man named Jefferson D'Arcy (Ted McGinley) with a dark past -- and things get worse when Marcy and Jefferson put their trust in Al and Peg for a proper wedding. ||||||||
| 93 | 13 | "The Godfather" | Gerry Cohen | Ralph R. Farquhar | February 4, 1991 (1991-2-4) | 514 | 20.1 |
| Al discovers that Kelly is dating an older man, but when the older man turns out to be connected to the local government, Al takes advantage of the situation by being the neighborhood Godfather. ||||||||
| 94 | 14 | "Look Who's Barking" | Gerry Cohen | Katherine Green | February 11, 1991 (1991-2-11) | 513 | 18.6 |
| Buck the dog (voiced by Cheech Marin in this episode) runs away and takes home a white female dog who plots to replace him as the family pet. Meanwhile, Al searches for his favorite cheesecake chef. B.B. King makes a cameo appearance as a street musician. Note: Katey Sagal does not appear in this episode ||||||||
| 95 | 15 | "A Man's Castle" | Gerry Cohen | Stacie Lipp | February 18, 1991 (1991-2-18) | 515 | 10.2 |
| Peg spends the family's food grocery money on tuition to an interior decorating class, where one of her projects is to beautify Al's personal bathroom in the garage. Al literally faints when he sees his Ferguson toilet adorned with pink colored fabric. Note: Amanda Bearse does not appear in this episode. ||||||||
| 96 | 16 | "All Night Security Dude" | Gerry Cohen | Glenn Eichler & Peter Gaffney | February 25, 1991 (1991-2-25) | 516 | 20.7 |
| Al gets a night job as a school security guard, but gets fired when the beloved football trophy gets stolen while Al was in the bathroom. It's up to Al to get the trophy back from former high school football rival "Sparetire" Dixon (guest star Bubba Smith). Note: Ed O'Neill has admitted this episode is his favorite of the series on several occasions ||||||||
| 97 | 17 | "Oldies But Young 'Uns" | Gerry Cohen | Bill Prady | March 18, 1991 (1991-3-18) | 518 | 16.7 |
| Al becomes obsessed with trying to remember the name of a song he hears on the radio. Meanwhile, Kelly dates Vinnie (guest star Matt LeBlanc), who turns out to be the not-so-bright son of Al's old high school friend, Charlie (guest star Joseph Bologna). ||||||||
| 98 | 18 | "Weenie Tot Lovers & Other Strangers" | Gerry Cohen | Kevin Curran | March 25, 1991 (1991-3-25) | 517 | 18.7 |
| Kelly competes for the chance to be a spokesmodel for Al's favorite food company, Weenie Tots. ||||||||
| 99 | 19 | "Kids! Wadaya Gonna Do?" | Linda Day | Ellen L. Fogle | April 8, 1991 (1991-4-8) | 521 | 19.0 |
| While Marcy, Jefferson, Al, and Peg have a movie night at the D'Arcy house, Kelly is tricked by Bud to babysit a group of rowdy kids while Bud goes to a concert. ||||||||
| 100 | 20 | "Top of the Heap" | Gerry Cohen | Ron Leavitt & Arthur Silver | April 8, 1991 (1991-4-8) | 525 | 18.0 |
| In this special 100th episode (which only features Al Bundy in a small cameo), Al's divorced and unemployed friend Charlie Verducci (Joseph Bologna) and his dim-witted teenage son Vinnie (Matt LeBlanc), try to fit in with snobs at a high-class party where Charlie hopes that Vinnie will meet and marry a debutante. Note: This is the back door pilot episode for the spin-off series Top of the Heap ||||||||
| 101 | 21 | "You Better Shop Around: Part 1" | Linda Day | John Brancato and Michael Ferris | April 15, 1991 (1991-4-15) | 519 | 21.3 |
| Part one of two. During a heatwave, Al buys a cheap, WWII-era air conditioner that ultimately blows the neighborhood's power. With the neighbors angry, the Bundys move to the local Foodies grocery store, where they become winners of a $1,000 shopping spree, after cutting ahead of Marcy at the checkout. Note: Ted McGinley does not appear in this episode ||||||||
| 102 | 22 | "You Better Shop Around: Part 2" | Linda Day | Stacie Lipp | April 22, 1991 (1991-4-22) | 520 | 23.1 |
| Part two of two. Al and Peg compete against Marcy and Jefferson in a supermarket shopping spree, where both couples attempt to sabotage the other, with comical results. Meanwhile, Bud and Kelly harass the host of the spree - Jerry Mathers of Leave It to Beaver fame. ||||||||
| 103 | 23 | "Route 666: Part 1" | Gerry Cohen | Katherine Green | April 29, 1991 (1991-4-29) | 522 | 16.5 |
| Part one of two. While on a road trip to Los Angeles for a shoe convention, the Bundys' car breaks down in a backwards, New Mexico town, where an old prospector (John Byner) gives Al a map to a gold mine. ||||||||
| 104 | 24 | "Route 666: Part 2" | Gerry Cohen | Ralph R. Farquhar | May 6, 1991 (1991-5-6) | 523 | 20.7 |
| Part two of two. After roping in Marcy and Jefferson, the Bundys go on an expedition to dig for gold, but their greed and insanity slowly begin to tear them apart... and then they find out that the gold mine is actually a local tourist attraction loaded with fool's gold. Not willing to accept defeat, the Bundys and the D'Arcys then proceed to rob the tourists of their watches and jewelry before relaxing on a beach in California. ||||||||
| 105 | 25 | "Buck the Stud" | Gerry Cohen | Chip Johannessen & John Rinker | May 20, 1991 (1991-5-20) | 524 | 16.6 |
| Al trains Buck the dog to mate with a neighbor's female dog for $10,000. Meanwhile, Bud begins to dress up in foppish clothes to attract women. ||||||||