# Recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches introduced 1986–87

The following is a list of recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches introduced between October 11, 1986, and May 23, 1987, the twelfth season of SNL.

## Lane Maxwell

A Dana Carvey character. Debuted October 11, 1986. Also known as Lane Maxwell, professional psychic.

### Character

As described by his title, Lane is a psychic. He is featured in several different occasions for different reasons. He always wears a blue suit with black buttons and thick black framed glasses. He is rather sympathetic and is normally in a happy mood due to the fact that he is always as he describes it "two and one quarter steps ahead of everybody". He is the author of the fictitious autobiography I Knew You Were Gonna Buy This Book which is mentioned in all the sketches featuring him.

### Appearances

Lane's first appearance was in a fictitious game show called "Quiz Masters" were he was in a question and answer game against a lady worker from the cracker jacks cookie company. When the game started he won by several points until he started predicting a "meteor" rather than the answers and his opponent starts winning, eventually a meteor falls on his opponent and kills her, making him the winner. He was later featured as a guest in the fictitious The Arsenio Hall Show parody The Carsenio Hall Show where an interview was made to him (this was the first crossover between recurring sketches in SNL history). He then received his very own talk show, which strangely ended when the creator of the show was accidentally killed by a falling skunk juggling shuriken's on a spotlight, leading the show to be cancelled.

### Catchphrases

* I knew you were gonna say that!
* I'm always two and one quarter steps ahead of everybody.

## Marge Keister

A Jan Hooks character. Debuted October 11, 1986.

### Appearances

| Season | Episode | Host |
| 12 | October 11, 1986 | Sigourney Weaver |
| 12 | November 15, 1986 | Sam Kinison |
| 12 | December 13, 1986 | Steve Guttenberg |
| 12 | February 14, 1987 | Bronson Pinchot |
| 12 | May 16, 1987 | Garry Shandling |
| 13 | October 24, 1987 | Sean Penn |
| 14 | November 19, 1988 | John Lithgow |

## The Church Lady

Dana Carvey plays a "holier-than-thou" talk show host. Debuted October 11, 1986.

### Church Chat

| Season | Episode | Host | Notes |
| 12 | October 11, 1986 | Sigourney Weaver | Christopher Durang (Himself), Sally Kellerman (Jan Hooks), Ann Landers (Nora Dunn) and Zuul (Sigourney Weaver) |
| 12 | November 8, 1986 | Rosanna Arquette | Jenny Baker (Victoria Jackson), Rosanna Arquette (Herself) and Ric Ocasek (Himself) |
| 12 | November 15, 1986 | Sam Kinison | Church Lady boycott the show because of this night's host (Sam Kinison) |
| 12 | January 24, 1987 | Joe Montana, Walter Payton | Shirley MacLaine (Jan Hooks), Walter Payton (Himself) and Joe Montana (Himself) |
| 12 | February 21, 1987 | Willie Nelson | Church Lady and Willie Nelson sing together. Danny DeVito (Himself), Ann Landers (Nora Dunn), Willie Nelson (Himself). |
| 12 | March 28, 1987 | Charlton Heston | Jim (Phil Hartman) and Tammy Faye Bakker (Jan Hooks) |
| 12 | May 23, 1987 | Dennis Hopper | Dennis Hopper (Himself) |
| 13 | October 24, 1987 | Sean Penn | Rashashimi Khadudi Hasumi-imi-humi (Jon Lovitz), Sean Penn (Himself) |
| 13 | December 5, 1987 | Danny DeVito | Jessica Hahn (Jan Hooks), Danny DeVito (Himself) |
| 13 | February 27, 1988 | Judge Reinhold | Pat Robertson (Al Franken) and Jimmy Swaggart (Phil Hartman) |
| 14 | November 5, 1988 | Matthew Modine | Morton Downey Jr. (Himself) |
| 15 | December 16, 1989 | Andie MacDowell | Nadia Comăneci (Jan Hooks), Leona Helmsley (Nora Dunn), Andie MacDowell (Herself) |
| 15 | February 24, 1990 | Fred Savage | Enid (Fred Savage), Marla Maples (Jan Hooks) and Donald Trump (Phil Hartman) |
| 15 | March 17, 1990 | Rob Lowe | Rob Lowe (Himself) |
| 16 | December 1, 1990 | John Goodman | Saddam Hussein (Phil Hartman) and the Church Lady's mother (John Goodman) |
| 22 | October 26, 1996 | Dana Carvey | O.J Simpson (Tim Meadows) & Madonna (Molly Shannon) |
| 26 | October 21, 2000 | Dana Carvey | Hillary Clinton (Ana Gasteyer), Anne Heche (Chris Kattan) and Eminem (Chris Parnell) |
| 36 | February 5, 2011 | Dana Carvey | The Kardashians (Nasim Pedrad, Abby Elliott, Vanessa Bayer) and Snooki (Bobby Moynihan) |
| 41 | May 7, 2016 | Brie Larson | Ted Cruz (Taran Killam) and Donald Trump (Darrell Hammond) |
| 50 | December 7, 2024 | Paul Mescal | Matt Gaetz (Sarah Sherman), Hunter Biden (David Spade) and Juan Soto (Marcello Hernández) |

#### Additional appearances

* Church Potluck- December 6, 1986
* Christmas Eve- December 17, 1988
* The '90s- January 13, 1990
* Weekend Update- November 5, 2016

## Mr. Subliminal

Played by Kevin Nealon, he was originally an advertising executive (named Phil Maloney) who used subliminal messages to influence people. His appearances on Update utilized the subliminal technique (i.e. saying things rapidly and under his breath, in between sentences) to reveal what he is really thinking. For example, in an editorial on the 1994 caning of Michael Fay, he stated that:
   "...the boy admitted to spray painting cars but he's only eighteen and young people often do stupid and impulsive things they later regret (Shannen Doherty). I happen to think [pause] that everyone's entitled to one mistake (Euro Disney). And I'm not saying there aren't [pause] those who I'd love to see get a good flogging (Urkel), it's just that [pause] I'm afraid we've become so insensitive that we've learned to accept the idea of a man's beating in public (Pee Wee Herman)."
Debuted October 11, 1986.

## Derek Stevens ("She choppin’ broccoli...")

An English singer/songwriter (played by Dana Carvey) is meeting with his record producers to go over his demo, which they soon discover he has failed to record. He insists, however, that he has written songs and he can play the songs for them live, and when they ask him to do so, he quickly makes up a song called "The Lady I Know". He then sits at the piano and begins sloppily faking his way through the song, which ultimately becomes an endless refrain of the chorus, "Choppin' broccoli" in various vocal styles and intonations. Upon hearing it, the producers appear to be awestruck by his lyrics, and are ecstatic about recording the song. Debuted October 11, 1986.
This song was originally in a Dana Carvey stand-up comedy routine about the vapidness of popular music.
Stevens returns in a later sketch, in which his producers try to convince him that his premature death might help the sales of his album. A fearful Stevens responds by hyping a new song, with the same tune as "The Lady I Know", but featuring different, though equally repetitive, lyrics and a similar endless refrain ("My pretty little lady! My pretty little gir-rl!") The producers are unimpressed.
Stevens appeared once more on SNL's 40th Anniversary Special in 2015, singing "Choppin' Broccoli".

### Appearances

| Season | Episode | Host |
| 12 | October 11, 1986 | Sigourney Weaver |
| 12 | December 13, 1986 | Steve Guttenberg |
| 12 | February 14, 1987 | Bronson Pinchot |
| 13 | February 13, 1988 | Justine Bateman |

## The Sweeney Sisters

The Sweeney Sisters are a duo of party singers, Candy Sweeney (played by Jan Hooks) and her sister Liz (played by Nora Dunn). They normally sing cover medleys of pop standards in very high-pitched voices, a la Nick the Lounge Singer. Their medleys always include the first two lines of "The Trolley Song" ("Clang, clang, clang went the trolley...") about two-thirds of the way through, followed by a string of scatting. In these medleys the last word of one song often segues into the first word of the next. The sisters are usually seen performing at various U.S. hotel lounges, and their performances usually begin with "You must have pressed 'L' for 'lobby'! Come, join us." They were the opening act at the 40th Primetime Emmy Awards in 1988. Candy and Liz have a sister (a former member of the group), Audrey, who was played by Mary Tyler Moore. The Sweeneys' accompanist, Skip St.Thomas, was played by composer Marc Shaiman. Debuted October 18, 1986.

### Appearances

| Season | Episode | Host |
| 12 | October 18, 1986 | Malcolm-Jamal Warner |
| 12 | November 22, 1986 | Robin Williams |
| 12 | December 20, 1986 | William Shatner |
| 12 | January 31, 1987 | Paul Shaffer |
| 12 | March 28, 1987 | Charlton Heston |
| 12 | May 23, 1987 | Dennis Hopper |
| 13 | November 14, 1987 | Robert Mitchum |
| 13 | December 19, 1987 | Paul Simon |
| 14 | December 17, 1988 | Melanie Griffith |
| 14 | March 25, 1989 | Mary Tyler Moore |

## Instant Coffee with Bill Smith

A Kevin Nealon sketch. Debuted October 18, 1986.

## The Two Sammies

A Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon sketch. Debuted November 8, 1986.

## Miss Connie's Fable Nook

A Jan Hooks, Dana Carvey, Dennis Miller and Kevin Nealon sketch. Debuted November 8, 1986.

## The Jungle Room

A Phil Hartman and Jon Lovitz sketch.

### Appearances

| Season | Episode | Host |
| 12 | November 15, 1986 | Sam Kinison |
| 12 | January 24, 1987 | Joe Montana, Walter Payton |
| 12 | October 24, 1987 | Sean Penn |
| 12 | December 5, 1987 | Danny DeVito |

## Ching Chang

Dana Carvey played the character Ching Chang, a typical Asian-American stereotype whose only goal in life is to put his chickens in their own show on Broadway. Debuted November 15, 1986.

### Appearances

| Season | Episode | Host |
| 12 | November 15, 1986 | Sam Kinison |
| 12 | January 31, 1987 | Paul Shaffer |
| 12 | February 28, 1987 | Valerie Bertinelli |
| 12 | May 9, 1987 | Mark Harmon |
| 13 | November 21, 1987 | Candice Bergen |
| 16 | November 10, 1990 | Jimmy Smits |
| 26 | October 21, 2000 | Dana Carvey |

## The NFL Today

A parody of The NFL Today, with Phil Hartman impersonating Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder and Kevin Nealon impersonating Brent Musburger.

### Appearances

| Season | Episode | Host |
| 12 | January 24, 1987 | Joe Montana, Walter Payton |
| 13 | October 17, 1987 | Steve Martin |
| 13 | January 30, 1988 | Carl Weathers |
| 15 | April 14, 1990 | Corbin Bernsen |

## Mace

A Phil Hartman sketch. Debuted January 24, 1987.

### Appearances

| Season | Episode | Host |
| 12 | January 24, 1987 | Joe Montana, Walter Payton |
| 13 | November 21, 1987 | Candice Bergen |
| 15 | March 17, 1990 | Rob Lowe |
| 16 | March 23, 1991 | Jeremy Irons |

## Nightline

A parody of the late-night news program Nightline, with Dana Carvey impersonating its host Ted Koppel.

### Appearances

| Season | Episode | Host |
| 12 | February 14, 1987 | Bronson Pinchot |
| 16 | January 12, 1991 | Joe Mantegna |
| 18 | September 26, 1992 | Nicolas Cage |

## Discover with Peter Graves

Phil Hartman impersonates actor Peter Graves in this series of sketches. It parodies actors hosting documentary series, portraying Graves as not being able to fully understand or comprehend the show's topics.

### Appearances

| Season | Episode | Host |
| 12 | February 28, 1987 | Valerie Bertinelli |
| 12 | April 11, 1987 | John Lithgow |
| 13 | October 24, 1987 | Sean Penn |
| 13 | January 23, 1988 | Robin Williams |

## President Dexter

A Charlton Heston sketch. Debuted March 28, 1987.