# Manis Friedman

Manis Friedman (full name: Menachem Manis HaKohen Friedman; Hebrew: מנחם מניס הכהן פרידמן; born 1946) is a Hassid, rabbi, author, social philosopher and public speaker. He is also the dean of the Bais Chana Institute of Jewish Studies. Friedman authored Doesn't Anyone Blush Anymore?, which was published in 1990 and is currently in its fourth printing. He is featured in the documentary films: The Lost Key (2014), The Jewish Journey: America (2015), and "Patterns of Evidences" (2017).

## Biography
### Early life

Friedman was born in Prague, Czechoslovakia in 1946 to a Hasidic Ashkenazi Jewish family of Kohanim. His father, Rabbi Yaakov Moshe Friedman, was a son of Rabbi Meir Yisroel Isser Friedman, the Krenitzer Rov. Yaakov Moshe Friedman was later arrested and tortured by the Soviet Czechoslovakian authorities due to his work with the Vaad Hatzalah, rescuing Jewish children from the Soviet Union. His mother was Miriam Friedman, a descendant of the Baal Shem Tov. In 1950, he moved with his family to the United States. He received his rabbinic ordination at the Rabbinical College of Canada in 1969.

### Career

In 1971, inspired by the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Friedman as a shliach ("emissary") cofounded the Bais Chana Women International, an Institute for Jewish Studies in Minnesota for women with little or no formal Jewish education. He has served as the school's dean since its inception. From 1984 to 1990, he served as the simultaneous translator for a series of televised talks by the Lubavitcher Rebbe. Friedman briefly served as senior translator for Jewish Educational Media, Inc.
In 1990, HarperCollins published Friedman's first book, Doesn't Anyone Blush Anymore?, which included a blurb from Bob Dylan. He has since published numerous other books, including The Joy of Intimacy, לא בקשתי לבא לעולם (lit. "I didn't ask to come to the world") in Hebrew, and Creating a Life That Matters, which he co-wrote. He has also authored numerous educational books for children, including Who Needs Me? and A to Z Meant to Be: Seeing the Hand of the Creator in Everything That Happens.
Friedman has lectured in cities throughout the US, as well as London, Hong Kong, Cape Town, and Johannesburg in South Africa, Melbourne and Sydney in Australia, and a number of South and Central American cities. In a written response to a question regarding the Israeli–Palestinian conflict, Friedman implied that Israel should "kill men, women, and children". He later clarified that this was meant only in the case where they were using "men, women, and children" as weapons of war.
Friedman is the most popular rabbi on YouTube, with over 450,000 subscribers as of February 2024. In 2024, Rabbi Aharon Feldman, accused him of being a heretic.

### Family

Manis Friedman is a Kohen. He is the brother of the Jewish singer Avraham Fried and father of Jewish singer Benny Friedman. Many of his 14 children serve as Chabad Shluchim.

## Views

Though not extensively published in book form, Friedman's teachings have been cited by many authors writing on various secular issues as well as on exclusively Jewish topics.
Friedman has been quoted in:
* Shmuley Boteach, The Private Adam (2005) and Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments (2001)
* Barbara Becker Holstein, Enchanted Self: A Positive Therapy (1997)
* Angela Payne, Living Every Single Moment: Embrace Your Purpose Now (2004)
* Sylvia Barack Fishman, A Breath of Life: Feminism in the American Jewish Community (1995)
In their autobiographies, Playing with Fire: One Woman's Remarkable Odyssey by Tova Mordechai (1991) and Shanda: The Making and Breaking of a Self-Loathing Jew by Neal Karlen (2004), the authors ascribe Friedman a role in their increasing religiosity.

### On what causes sexual abuse today

Friedman was quoted that we do not need more legislation on matters of sex and crossing boundaries as much as we need to define intimacy clearly. Since “free love” notions of the 60s, the definition of intimacy has been altered in the minds of many people.
He uses an anecdote of a young man who asked about going camping with a female friend. The young man said he went last summer and when her sleeping bag was ruined, they slept side by side in his sleeping bag but nothing happened. Friedman argued that something did in fact happen—a boundary of intimacy was crossed. The notion that intimacy is a choice based on how a person feels in the moment should not be relevant; rather, it should be recognized that the smallest act of kindness, like physical touch, is in fact intimacy.
The implication is that the modern mindset on intimacy is a loose definition, but if the definition is clearly set, men can be taught to respect women.

### On victims of the Holocaust

Rabbi Friedman explained that we should never try to explain why the Holocaust happened. He says the question should not be why would God allow it, but rather why would God do that to himself? “But let’s not make the mistake of thinking that God doesn’t care. It’s just we who suffer. That’s a distorted picture. The question is how could God put up with the pain he feels? Infinite pain over every ache that a human being suffers…we can’t even think of anything that great to justify that much pain so we should never try to explain the tragedies in history.”

### Two types of love

According to Friedman, the love between spouses must overcome the differences between the two parties, generating greater intensity in the relationship. By contrast the love between other family members are predicated upon the commonness the two parties share. Friedman further states that husband and wife, male and female, in essence always remain strangers; for this reason the acquired love in the relationship is never entirely consistent.

### Fidelity

On fidelity in marriage, Friedman is quoted stating "If you help yourself to the benefits of being married when you are single, you're likely to help yourself to the benefits of being single when you're married."

### Femininity

Sociologist Lynn Davidman interviewed a number of students studying under Friedman in 1983. She quotes Friedman saying that a woman "violates herself" if she were to refrain from having children and that birth control is a "violent violation of a woman's being".

## Published works

* Doesn't Anyone Blush Anymore? Reclaiming Modesty, Intimacy and Sexuality
* The Relief and Rescue Workers Guide to Judaism - a Rescue Workers Handbook
* The Joy of Intimacy: A Soulful Guide to Love, Sexuality & Marriage