# Assy McGee

Assy McGee is an American adult animated sitcom created by Matt Harrigan and Carl W. Adams for Cartoon Network's late-night programming block Adult Swim. The series features a police detective named Assy McGee, a parody of tough cops, who is a walking pair of buttocks. Along with his partner Don Sanchez (modeled after Luis Guzmán), the trigger-happy McGee solves crimes in the town of Exeter, New Hampshire. Larry Murphy voices all of the main characters. Jen Cohn voices all of the female characters. It ran on Adult Swim from November 26, 2006, to July 6, 2008. On August 22, 2008, it was canceled after two seasons due to negative reviews from people, even the show's creators.

## Premise and episode structure

The series revolves around the antics of Assy McGee, an ultra-violent and emotionally disturbed police detective who happens to have no upper torso, head, or arms. With the help of his partner Sanchez (often against the wishes of his superior officers), Assy patrols the streets of Exeter, New Hampshire, although it bears a stronger resemblance to a larger city such as New York City or Chicago. Cases usually involve outlandish or exaggerated crimes, usually shown in the opening scene. Assy will then be delegated with investigating the crimes, typically doing so by immersing himself into matters that seemingly serve little or no relevance to the crime at hand, until at the end of the episode, it's revealed that the random innocent bystander that Assy has violently accosted has been the culprit all along or another wanted criminal. Assy is almost always opposed by his chief until his actions are validated. This leads the Chief to inquire as to how Assy could possibly know this person was the responsible culprit, Assy usually affirming that he knew, but without any evidence to support the claim.

## Characters

* Assy McGee (Larry Murphy) – a walking, talking lower torso with exposed buttocks. Horribly violent, an alcoholic and clinically depressed, Assy is a parody of the 1970s/1980s movie cops as seen in such films as Dirty Harry, Lethal Weapon and Cobra: trigger-happy, tough, at times hopelessly depressed, and in conflict with his fellow officers as often as he is in conflict with crime. Assy has a slurred style of speech similar to Sylvester Stallone, though it is "gassy" sounding and muffled, possibly due to his anatomy or inebriation (or both), however has been shown to have an excellent ability to sing classical music. He also quotes and mimics some of Stallone's most memorable characters, shouting Judge Dredd's catch phrase "I am the law!" in episode five "Mexican Rain" and reenacts the Rocky training scene in episode seven "Ring of Fire". Sometimes, when out of breath, or even just peeved, Assy will flatulate. Assy walks backwards and even jumps backwards. Assy has stated that he is of Cuban descent. His Cuban heritage is backed up in the episode, "Conviction" when a childhood picture of Assy with a Cuban hat is shown in the background. We learn in the episode "Hands Up" (from season two) that Assy served in Vietnam, when a war flashback causes him to accidentally fire a bullet from an AK-47 into the abdomen of a World War II veteran. It is unclear whether Assy possesses genitalia, though it is strongly implied on a few occasions. He has been shown walking in profile with no visible genital protrusion or covering, but he requested a "happy ending" from a masseuse in the episodes "The Flirty Black Man", and "Murder By The Docks". He is also perfectly capable of urinating in the canonical fashion. Licensed action figures and other merchandise of the character cover his genital area with part of his handgun holster. In the episode Vowel Play, it is implied that Assy has undersized genitals when he indicates that he can only give a school sex education teacher "four and half inches". It is also unclear how he can pick up or handle anything as he has no hands. Items he is 'holding' simply float in front of him. One commonly "floating" item seen around Assy is his revolver, which appears to mimic a Colt Python or Colt King Cobra. In addition to his police duties, Assy owns a used car, hot tub, and driveway repair dealership off "Exit 19" in Exeter which he does a commercial for wearing a cowboy hat and boots. He claims to have all the new Scion xBs in stock, as well as having a true price guarantee and an unwillingness to give cars to people without credit ("Bad credit? No credit? Sorry, that's your problem, asshole!") His slogan for the business is "Don't make me run your ass over!" Appearing only in season two, the "commercial" aired midway through each episode during the season and was part of a promotional arrangement between Adult Swim and Toyota, the parent company of Scion.
* Detective Don Sanchez (Larry Murphy) – Assy's partner and a version of the good cop stereotype. He has a wife and three children, including a son named Rudolpho and a daughter named Giselle, and often finds himself playing (unsuccessfully) the voice of reason to Assy. Sanchez is a loyal partner towards Assy, often talking to Assy about a case in the middle of the night and is highly tolerant of Assy's antics no matter how much trouble they get him in. Although he is the hard-working force between himself and Assy, it is Sanchez who merely discovers clues that names suspects, whereas Assy ultimately finds the actual perpetrator in the show. Sanchez bears a strong physical and vocal resemblance to Latino actor Luis Guzmán. Sanchez is married to Brenda, who wants a divorce from him. It was revealed in the episode "Bikes for Bombs" that Rudolpho may not be his son. In fact, it's revealed that Assy had sex with Brenda on their honeymoon and she gave him a sexually transmitted disease ("Every day I take a leak, I'm sorry," Assy says). His superior officer, "The Chief", is also shown having an affair with his wife, although Sanchez is clueless as to any involvement between the two; despite calling home and even speaking to The Chief while he was there. In two episodes of season two ("Johnny Arson" and "Squirrels") it's implied that Sanchez is a pyromaniac, having set a fire in one and standing staring at a fire in the latter episode.
* Greg "The Chief" (Larry Murphy) – almost always referred to as "The Chief" (who bears a resemblance to Al Pacino), is the chief of the Exeter police department. He often argues with Assy over cases, yet is mesmerized when Assy is able to solve a case. In several episodes, the chief demands that Assy "hand over his badge and his gun in the morning" although this never seems to take place besides the first episode which concludes with him giving back Assy's badge and firearm. Despite this, the chief seems to show a grudging respect for Assy. The chief frequently appears to have private explicit sexual conversations in which he offers advice of various kinds to the party on the other end of the phone such as "Just drop ya load in her dumper." or "And bleach it and skip dinner, I don't care as long as it's clean." He also has had an affair with Brenda, Sanchez' wife, which is probably on-going. He abruptly ends these when someone enters his office. He also has tattoos all over his upper body and is physically fit, as seen in "Squirrels".
* The Mayor (H. Jon Benjamin) – The African-American mayor of the city, as the head of Exeter, the Mayor is corrupt and idiotic. He is also obsessed with re-election and will disregard or manipulate the facts of a case in order to further his political career. The Mayor also frequents "massage parlors" that are under police investigation for being fronts for prostitution.
* Officer DiLorenzo (Carl W. Adams) – a heavy-set, thick-headed, light-skinned police officer for the Exeter police department. DiLorenzo often teases Assy and doubts his actions. He seems to be a rather hated person in the Exeter police department, as Assy and the other officers are known to refer to him as "DiRetardo" as a result in numerous episodes to DiLorenzo's chagrin. Despite this, he seems to be a hard worker during appropriate times. He was instructed by the chief to follow Assy around while Detective Sanchez was in the hospital following a heart attack. In "Pharmassy", DiLorenzo's improv as a pizza guy prevents the Mayor of Exeter from getting shot; however, the result gets DiLorenzo gunned down instead, causing the other officers to cheer and hand money to each other (although he survived as evident in "Mile High Mayhem"). DiLorenzo is also a good singer, as he demonstrates it during Glen's funeral in the episode "Irish Wake".
* Glen (Carl W. Adams) – (1975 – May 11, 2008) was the split-eyed bartender for Bill W's, the bar that Assy often attends in the show. In Season 1, Glen once bailed Assy out of prison, despite being the person responsible for putting him in there in the first place. He also made Assy walk home from the prison afterwards. In "Irish Wake", Glen was tragically murdered by an Irish bookie named Mikey O’Brien after failing to pay up loans for losing wagers, although he was replaced with a different bartender soon after.
* "The Father" – (a priest) is the currently nameless religious figure from whom Assy often seeks spiritual healing & guidance. He is usually found sitting at the bar in Bill W's.
* Ling (Jen Cohn) – a Japanese woman (wearing only a terry cloth robe) who runs a massage parlor/brothel that Assy frequents. She appears to be one of Assy's underground sources/informants (and it is implied she provides him with information and her "services" in exchange for Assy looking the other way). In the first episode, she had a group of ninjas working for her (until they are gunned down by Assy for attacking Sanchez). While Assy is getting a massage by her employee Suki, she had them attack Sanchez after he inquired about the Massage Parlor's founder—a hooker named Abigail who was accidentally killed (due to an allergic reaction to black soot) by President John Adams in 1799, only for her body to be discovered in modern-day Exeter. After killing the ninjas, Assy and Sanchez chase down the Masseuse after she flees. They catch her and at gunpoint, she reveals that John Adams was Abigail's killer. In later episodes, she is more forthcoming with information and gives Assy massages herself.

## Episodes

| Season | Episodes | Episodes | Originally released | Originally released |
| Season | Episodes | Episodes | First released | Last released |
| 1 | 6 | 6 | November 26, 2006 (2006-11-26) | January 7, 2007 (2007-01-07) |
| 2 | 14 | 14 | April 6, 2008 (2008-04-06) | July 6, 2008 (2008-07-06) |

### Season 1 (2006–07)

| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Original release date | Prod. code |
| 1 | 1 | "Murder on the Docks" | November 26, 2006 (2006-11-26) | 101 |
| The skeleton of a dead hooker is found near the docks by some children playing ball. It happens a day before a parade commemorating President John Adams. Assy shows up on the scene and shoots every nearby cop. Despite being suspended by the chief for doing so, Assy investigates the case of the hooker anyway. What he fails to realize throughout the investigation is that the hooker was already killed by none other than president John Adams in 1799. He falsely accuses an actor named John Adams in the parade dressed as president Adams and shoots him. Coincidentally, the man Assy shot was wanted in 28 states, so the chief ends up reinstating him. It is revealed during the episode that the chief's actual name is Greg. |||||
| 2 | 2 | "The Flirty Black Man" | December 3, 2006 (2006-12-03) | 102 |
| When the priceless self-portrait of Lamont Dakota's "The Flirty Black Man" is stolen, Assy decides to take the case even though he's been ordered not to. The thief turns out to be Paddle Nine, an art thief, but Assy is unable to apprehend him. Assy also destroys the painting in his attempt by accidentally shooting out his eye. Assy's artistic talents are revealed in this episode. This episode also marks the debut of Bill W's Bar. |||||
| 3 | 3 | "Game of Death" | December 10, 2006 (2006-12-10) | 103 |
| A Cuban dignitary is visiting the city for a soccer match and Assy is assigned to bodyguard him. However, Assy's history with the game of soccer and his alleged Cuban heritage complicate his assignment. In the end, Assy, after saying "Adios... Blimp!", takes down a blimp which he assumes is for terrorist use, which puts the dignitary in a body cast when it comes down. Assy nearly loses his badge for his actions. Assy's singing talents are revealed in this episode. |||||
| 4 | 4 | "Busted" | December 17, 2006 (2006-12-17) | 104 |
| The start of the episode shows two criminals robbing people on a bus, but they get more than they bargained for when Assy shows up and shoots one of them. Assy then goes to track down the criminal that escaped and finds out who the mastermind is, Baby Steps. The episode ends with Assy trying to get the boss convicted, but they end up going free on a technicality as the raid on the robber's home was done illegally, and because Assy roughed up Baby Steps' employee in order to get the answers. At the end of the episode, Assy shows off more of his musical talents by playing the harmonica inside Bill W's. |||||
| 5 | 5 | "Mexican Rain" | December 24, 2006 (2006-12-24) | 105 |
| Detective Sanchez has a heart attack due to Mexicans falling out of his kid's pinata. The chief announces that a man known as "El Coyote" is responsible for smuggling these Mexicans into America. At the hospital, Sanchez tells Assy that the Mexicans are being smuggled in via cheap knick knacks. Later, Assy hitchhikes with a person who may or may not be El Coyote and kills him. At the end, Assy tries to sing with a mariachi band at the bar, but passes out before he sings. |||||
| 6 | 6 | "Conviction" | January 7, 2007 (2007-01-07) | 106 |
| Assy inadvertently becomes the model for Conviction Cologne, which is being used by a group of priests, headed by "The Archbishop", to make teenagers into addicts. Assy smokes the cologne through a hookah pipe which, consequently, causes him to hallucinate. Sobered up by Detective Sanchez, Assy foils the priests' plan, having a baby shoot the archbishop (which he thought would be funny). |||||

### Season 2 (2008)

| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Original release date | Prod. code |
| 7 | 1 | "Ring of Fire" | April 6, 2008 (2008-04-06) | 107 |
| Several boxers in Exeter die in the ring from self-induced beatings, leading Assy to discover that the next door deli has been contaminated with radioactive waste and that the deli workers are responsible for the deaths of the pugilists. This episode marks the debut of Assy's humor based in-show Scion advertisements, which would also be featured in subsequent episodes. |||||
| 8 | 2 | "Pharmassy" | April 13, 2008 (2008-04-13) | 109 |
| Assy must abandon his five-year-in-planning ice fishing vacation to resolve a dangerous hostage situation. Things become even more complicated when a slip-of-the-tongue from Officer DiLorenzo reveals to the gunman (Jasper) that one of his hostages is in fact the Mayor of Exeter. Jasper, the gunman, is voiced by H. Jon Benjamin. |||||
| 9 | 3 | "Mile High Mayhem" | April 20, 2008 (2008-04-20) | 110 |
| Assy and Sanchez join the Federal Air Marshal division and go undercover on a flight to try solve a drug smuggling operation. |||||
| 10 | 4 | "Murder On The Midway" | April 27, 2008 (2008-04-27) | 111 |
| Sanchez’s daughter ends up in danger during an explosion on a ferris wheel at a carnival in Exeter. The pair struggle to both save her and subdue a rogue fire-fighter terrorist. |||||
| 11 | 5 | "Pegfinger" | May 4, 2008 (2008-05-04) | 108 |
| After a series of violent assaults, Detective McGee must rely on an unlikely ally; a criminal he put behind bars years ago. The investigation leads them to a theater production of The Pirates of Penzance, and Sanchez confirms suspicions that his wife Brenda is having an affair. |||||
| 12 | 6 | "Irish Wake" | May 11, 2008 (2008-05-11) | 114 |
| When Glen the bartender is killed, the police force looks to avenge his death. Sanchez gets a new partner while Assy is off grieving and drinking. The episode references The Departed, The Wire and The Godfather. |||||
| 13 | 7 | "Vowel Play" | May 18, 2008 (2008-05-18) | 113 |
| Chaos unfolds at the annual Exeter Spelling Bee as the champion, a boy named Gordon, disappears. Assy’s investigation leads to a Chinese bar, where a Russian roulette scene pays homage to The Deer Hunter. |||||
| 14 | 8 | "Hands Up" | May 25, 2008 (2008-05-25) | 115 |
| Assy is placed on suspension after shooting a paraplegic at a police event. He later uncovers a plot to steal old people from hospitals. Assy quits the force and is later hit by a bus, ending up in the hospital where the kidnapping crimes originate, allowing him to solve the case. |||||
| 15 | 9 | "Bikes for Bombs" | June 1, 2008 (2008-06-01) | 112 |
| Assy uncovers a rogue government organization intent on destabilizing foreign regimes while trying to track down his stolen bicycle. |||||
| 16 | 10 | "Showdown in Magic City" | June 8, 2008 (2008-06-08) | 117 |
| Assy and Sanchez are sent to Miami to investigate a crime syndicate. Members of the syndicate abduct Sanchez, taking him back to Exeter. Assy returns home to track down his partner and search for the criminals. |||||
| 17 | 11 | "The Ballad of Blind Anthony" | June 15, 2008 (2008-06-15) | 116 |
| Babysteps abducts a blind choir singer named blind Anthony and performs an illegal surgery to swap his vocals chords with his son in order to improve his son's singing voice. |||||
| 18 | 12 | "Johnny Arson" | June 22, 2008 (2008-06-22) | 118 |
| When a serial arsonist targets Exeter, Assy's new Internet lover is the number one suspect. At the end we see Sanchez driving away from a pharmacy on fire. |||||
| 19 | 13 | "The Assy Diaries" | June 29, 2008 (2008-06-29) | 119 |
| Corrupt police are extorting money from nannies within the city. As Assy investigates, he is targeted for assassination and attacked with a chainsaw in a children’s ball pool and his legs are severed, nearly killing him. Later we see Assy in his bath at home sewing his legs back on. |||||
| 20 | 14 | "Squirrels" | July 6, 2008 (2008-07-06) | 120 |
| Whilst hunting, Assy and Sanchez discover an underground squirrel fighting ring. Assy must face his fears of squirrels to solve the crime. |||||

## Broadcast

In Canada, Assy McGee previously aired on Teletoon's Teletoon at Night block and in 2018 aired on the Canadian version of Adult Swim.