# What a Country!

What a Country! is an American sitcom starring Garrett M. Brown and Yakov Smirnoff that aired in first-run syndication from September 27, 1986, to May 23, 1987. The series is based on the British sitcom Mind Your Language and was intended as a showcase for Ukrainian-American comedian Yakov Smirnoff, whose catchphrase provided the show's title. Five years previously in 1981, an episode of sit-com Diff'rent Strokes titled "Almost American" had served as a backdoor pilot for a US version of Mind Your Language but it was not picked up for a series.

## Synopsis

What a Country! is set in a class of recent immigrants to the United States who are trying to pass the citizenship test. Their teacher, Taylor Brown (played by Garrett M. Brown), is a part-time substitute teacher looking for a high school soccer coaching job, while the students are:
* Nikolai (a Russian-Soviet taxi driver),
* Laszlo (a retired Hungarian doctor),
* Ali (a Pakistani),
* Robert (the son of a deposed African king),
* Maria (a housekeeper working for a rich Beverly Hills family),
* Victor (a Hispanic in love with Maria), and
* Yung Hi (a shy Chinese woman).
Gail Strickland initially played the character of Principal Joan Courtney, though she was replaced by Don Knotts during the series' run.

## Cast

* Garrett M. Brown as Taylor Brown
* Yakov Smirnoff as Nikolai Rostopovich
* George Murdock as Laszlo Gabo
* Vijay Amritraj as Ali Nadim
* Harry Waters, Jr. as Robert Muboto
* Ada Maris as Maria Conchita Lopez
* Julian Reyes as Victor Ortega
* Leila Hee Olsen as Yung Hi
* Gail Strickland as Principal Joan Courtney (episodes 1–10)
* Don Knotts as Principal F.J. "Bud" McPherson (episodes 11–26)

## Episodes

| No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original release date |
| 1 | "The First Class" | Howard Storm | Martin Rips & Joseph Staretski | September 27, 1986 (1986-09-27) |
| Mr. Brown is a substitute teacher in a citizenship class at a night school, and has doubts about becoming an instructor. |||||
| 2 | "The Soul Man" | Russ Petranto | Lenny Ripps | October 4, 1986 (1986-10-04) |
| The class convinces a reluctant Robert to ask a young woman out on a date. Nikolai helps Robert with some tips on how to become 'cool'. |||||
| 3 | "A Busboy Named Desire" | Howard Storm | Frank Mula & Mike Scully | October 11, 1986 (1986-10-11) |
| Victor asks Maria out on a date to an expensive restaurant, but their dinner doesn't turn out as well as they had hoped. |||||
| 4 | "Don't Leave Home Without It" | Howard Storm | Eric Cohen | October 18, 1986 (1986-10-18) |
| Nikolai discovers the joys of credit cards, until he experiences the sorrows of being in debt. |||||
| 5 | "My Fair Yung Hi" | Russ Petranto | Stephen Schneck | October 25, 1986 (1986-10-25) |
| Mr. Brown starts private lessons with Yung Hi to overcome her shyness and improve her English pronunciation and diction, in order for her to feel comfortable participating in a debate in class. |||||
| 6 | "Holiday on Ice" | Linda Day | Frank Mula & Mike Scully | November 1, 1986 (1986-11-01) |
| When Laszlo is convinced by Mr. Brown to come out of retirement and become a dentist again, he unfortunately finds himself in jail along with Robert, Maria and Nikolai. |||||
| 7 | "The Best Laid Plans" | Bob Claver | Nick Arnold | November 8, 1986 (1986-11-08) |
| A field trip to Disneyland is planned for the class, until it falls apart when Nikolai is in charge of finances. |||||
| 8 | "Chicken a la Prince" | Unknown | Unknown | November 15, 1986 (1986-11-15) |
| Bob and Nik are smitten by a Swedish woman who's joined their immigration class. |||||
| 9 | "A Birthday With Class" | Unknown | Unknown | November 22, 1986 (1986-11-22) |
| The class orchestrates surprise birthday party plans for Taylor. |||||
| 10 | "Ali's Arrangement" | Unknown | Unknown | December 20, 1986 (1986-12-20) |
| When he was 7 year-old, Ali's marriage was arranged, and now the time has come to fulfill his obligation. |||||
| 11 | "Taylor Loses His Cool" | Russ Petranto | Bernie West | January 10, 1987 (1987-01-10) |
| Mr. Brown meets new principal Mr. McPherson. Upon learning that the principal does not like the way he teaches the class, Mr. Brown decides to quit. |||||
| 12 | "The Road From Morocco" | Dolores Ferraro | Frank Mula & Mike Scully | January 17, 1987 (1987-01-17) |
| A new student from Morocco, Rajeeb, joins the class, but quickly finds himself at odds with his new classmates. However, when he faces the risk of deportation, the class comes together to help him out. |||||
| 13 | "Nikolai Speaks" | Russ Petranto | Michael Turner | January 24, 1987 (1987-01-24) |
| Nikolai and Mr. McPherson become involved in a hit-and-run accident, and become witnesses at a trial in court. |||||
| 14 | "California Dreamin'" | Unknown | Unknown | February 7, 1987 (1987-02-07) |
| We devolve into fantasy as class members share their dreams. |||||
| 15 | "Moonlighting" | Russ Petranto | Lenny Ripps | February 14, 1987 (1987-02-14) |
| Maria decides to quit her job as a housekeeper for the Feldmans, but can only find a job as a part-time taxi dancer. She attempts to keep her new job a secret from her classmates. Meanwhile, Ali takes a job as Mr. McPherson's personal assistant. |||||
| 16 | "Play it Again, F" | Delores Ferraro | Norm Chandler Fox | February 21, 1987 (1987-02-21) |
| Things get awkward for Mr. Brown when he finds out that his own mother and Mr. McPherson were once romantically involved. |||||
| 17 | "Citizen Pain" | Russ Petranto | George Yanok | February 28, 1987 (1987-02-28) |
| Nikolai becomes increasingly paranoid, convinced that he is being watched and followed by KGB agents. |||||
| 18 | "Educating Inga" | Alan Bergmann | Martin Rips & Joseph Staretski | March 7, 1987 (1987-03-07) |
| The guys in class become infatuated with a new student in the class, Inga, from Sweden. Nikolai, Robert, Victor and Ali try to teach her English so she can stay in the class. |||||
| 19 | "Victor at an Exhibition" | Russ Petranto | Frank Mula & Mike Scully | March 14, 1987 (1987-03-14) |
| Maria meets a rich and handsome young man, Charles, who is an art gallery curator in Beverly Hills. However, a rift between her and Victor ensues after she takes on a few 'changes'. |||||
| 20 | "What a Tangled Web We Weave" | Bob Claver | Martin Rips & Joseph Staretski | March 28, 1987 (1987-03-28) |
| Facing a risk of losing the class, the students aim to perform well on a test being set by Mr. McPherson. |||||
| 21 | "Love Finds Nikolai" | Bob Claver | Jerry Rannow | April 4, 1987 (1987-04-04) |
| Nikolai reunites with a fellow Russian, Sonya. Although he wishes to date American girls, he realises that he is starting to fall in love with her. |||||
| 22 | "We're in the Muboto's" | Russ Petranto | Frank Mula & Mike Scully | April 11, 1987 (1987-04-11) |
| Robert discovers that he will be inheriting millions of dollars from his family's wealth, but only if a certain condition is met. |||||
| 23 | "What Are Friends For?" | Russ Petranto | Lenny Ripps | May 2, 1987 (1987-05-02) |
| Maria is selected to become a television spokesperson. However, her dreams of stardom collapse when she drinks too much of Yung Hi's grandmother's tea to overcome her cold. |||||
| 24 | "The Candidate" | Russ Petranto | Frank Mula & Mike Scully | May 9, 1987 (1987-05-09) |
| The class volunteers to help out at a campaign of a local city council candidate, Alex Hernandez. Maria and Alex fall in love with each other, but Maria learns a harsh lesson about politics. |||||
| 25 | "The Apartment" | Tony Singletary | Martin Rips & Joseph Staretski | May 16, 1987 (1987-05-16) |
| When Ali is refused an apartment even though it is listed as vacant, Mr. Brown and the students investigate why. |||||
| 26 | "Old World Charmer" | Howard Storm | Eric Cohen | May 23, 1987 (1987-05-23) |
| Laszlo accompanies Miss Courtney to a social formal event. Meanwhile, the guys have poker night at Nikolai's apartment. |||||