# Can You Forgive Her? (song)

"Can You Forgive Her?" is a song by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys, released as the first single from their fifth studio album, Very (1993). The lyrics describe in the second person a young man's humiliation when his girlfriend accuses him of still being in love with a childhood friend; the woman is "not prepared to share you with a memory", and is "going to go and get herself a real man instead". The title of the song derives from the Anthony Trollope novel of the same name.
"Can You Forgive Her?" was released on 1 June 1993 by Parlophone as the lead single from Very, and became the duo's 13th top-10 single on the UK Singles Chart, debuting and peaking at number seven. Despite failing to enter the US Billboard Hot 100, it became a number-one single on the Billboard Dance Club Songs chart. The song reached the top 10 in Denmark, Finland, Italy and Sweden. Its music video was directed by Howard Greenhalgh.
The second B-side, "What Keeps Mankind Alive?", appears on the 2001 re-release of Introspective, having originally been recorded for a BBC Radio programme in 1988 narrated by Sting celebrating the 60th anniversary of Bertolt Brecht and Kurt Weill's musical The Threepenny Opera.

## Background

In a 1993 interview with NME, Tennant described "Can You Forgive Her?" as being about "humiliation". He added, "It's also about someone not facing up to something about themselves, about sexuality. There's the bit about the cricket pavilion and the bicycle shed, thinking back to first sexual experiences. I actually think it's a bit Soft Cell-ish that bit, it's a bit pervy. The [rock music] line gives the idea that the girl sees the guy as a closet queen, and she thinks that if he dances to disco he's not really a man and he hasn't faced up to this."

## Marketing and music video

In marketing for the single, the Pet Shop Boys adopted a costume involving orange overalls and extremely tall pointy hats ("dunce caps"). The accompanying music video was directed by British director of music videos and advertising Howard Greenhalgh and depicted the duo wearing the costumes while wandering in a surreal (partly) computer-generated environment. Live action shots were filmed in a number of either well known or futuristic locations around London. They cross London Bridge in the rush hour crowd and also walk over the footbridge at Poplar station on the Docklands Light Railway. They are shown at the top of The Monument in the City of London. The park scenes were filmed in Battersea Park and one shot shows them standing in one of the remaining sculptures from the 1951 Festival of Britain fun fair. The music video received heavy rotation on MTV Europe.
The single cover and two inserts with small models depicted Pet Shop Boys costumes, and were both photographed by Marcus Leith.

## Critical reception

Stephen Thomas Erlewine from AllMusic described the song as "quietly shocking". Larry Flick from Billboard wrote that the first peek into PSB's new set, Very, "shows 'em hanging on the cutting edge of the trance/rave movement—a logical progression from their synth/pop salad days. Neil Tennant's distinctive "chat" singing is still oozing with deadpan charm, and partner Chris Lowe's penchant for quirky keyboard effects also remains intact." James Muretich from Calgary Herald said they "still sound like disco aristocrats" on songs like "Can You Forgive Her?". The Daily Vault's Michael R. Smith felt it "make a strong impression right from the start". Caroline Sullivan from The Guardian commented, "As ever, it takes several listens for it to resolve itself into a distinctive tune; when it finally does, it's pretty wonderful. Juicy lyric too, something about being rejected by a girl who preferred 'a real man'." Peter Paphides, writing for Melody Maker, picked "Can You Forgive Her?" as one of the magazine's "Singles of the Week" and noted the "orchestral flourishes", "colossal John Barry brush strokes" and Tennant's "refined vocals". He added that the song, after a few listens, "slowly but surely starts swamping the senses like a hot headrush".
Alan Jones from Music Week named it Single of the Week, writing, "Typical sweeping orchestral stabs usher in the first Pet Shop Boys single in 18 months. "Can You Forgive Her?" is, equally typically, a highly mainstream and instant song, with oft-repeated and cheery chorus offsetting the usual mournful vocal from Neil Tennant." He added, "An obvious biggie." Ian McCann of NME was less positive in his review. He commented how the duo "raid the Proteus strings module and the bombast sampler" and considered the lyrics to be a "big, smudgy moan". He added that the B-side, "Hey, Headmaster", "suggests that the Petsies are going through a 'God we're getting old' nostaliga phase". A reviewer from People Magazine stated, "With his clipped "pass the Grey Poupon" elocution, Tennant talks/sings his way through a mid-tempo dance track about a man torn between his female lover and his closeted desire for a man."
James Hamilton from the Record Mirror Dance Update described it as a "bouncy thumping strong "disco" anthem". Stuart Maconie from Select named it "a brash and blowsy show-stopper with a heart of pure trauma — of a man struggling with his incipient gayness and a vindictive girlfriend." Siân Pattenden from Smash Hits gave "Can You Forgive Her?" three out of five, saying, "Very apt. It seemed they might be relegated to documentaries about pop music but nay - it is a majestic carnival of a return to Popsville, where Neil actually sings." Charles Aaron from Spin wrote, "Spine-tingling, techno-squishy pop-opera, with the year's most appropriate libretto: "She's made you some kind of laughing stock / Because you dance to disco and don't like rock"." Another Spin editor, Jonathan Bernstein declared it as "spiteful" and "a thunderous stomp charting the decline of a relationship with an equal balance of power ("She made fun of you and even in bed / Said she was gonna go and get herself a real man instead")."
In 1999, Tom Ewing of Freaky Trigger ranked it at number 22 in his list of the "Top 100 Singles of the 90s". Ewing called it "probably the only top ten pop hit about not wanting to admit to yourself that you're gay", which he said "demonstrates what an unexpected and wonderful arena the charts can be. It went top ten because it's so catchy and so relentless. Every grand orchestral stab is an accusation, a slap in the face; every lull a threat, and the band’s disco throb has never been so unforgiving. Tennant plays up to this – his voice slips easily from taunting not-quite-sympathy to a tone of pitiless reprimand: I think most consciences sound like this."

## Finntroll cover

In 2011 the Finnish folk metal band Finntroll released a cover version of Can You Forgive Her?.