# List of The Dick Van Dyke Show episodes

The Dick Van Dyke Show is an American television sitcom. The series ran for five seasons on CBS, lasting 158 half-hour episodes, all filmed in black-and-white. Creator/writer Carl Reiner had told the cast from the beginning that if the show made it through five seasons, that would be its maximum run.

## Series overview

All five seasons have been released on DVD by Image Entertainment.
| Season | Episodes | Episodes | Originally released | Originally released | Rank | Rating |
| Season | Episodes | Episodes | First released | Last released | Rank | Rating |
| Pilot | Pilot | Pilot | July 19, 1960 (1960-07-19) | July 19, 1960 (1960-07-19) | — | — |
| 1 | 30 | 30 | October 3, 1961 (1961-10-03) | April 18, 1962 (1962-04-18) | 80 | 16.1 |
| 2 | 32 | 32 | September 26, 1962 (1962-09-26) | May 8, 1963 (1963-05-08) | 9 | 27.1 |
| 3 | 32 | 32 | September 25, 1963 (1963-09-25) | May 13, 1964 (1964-05-13) | 3 | 33.3 |
| 4 | 32 | 32 | September 23, 1964 (1964-09-23) | May 26, 1965 (1965-05-26) | 7 | 27.1 |
| 5 | 32 | 32 | September 15, 1965 (1965-09-15) | June 1, 1966 (1966-06-01) | 16 | 23.6 |

## Cast

* Dick Van Dyke as Robert "Rob" Simpson Petrie
* Rose Marie as Sally Rogers
* Morey Amsterdam as Maurice "Buddy" Sorrell
* Larry Mathews as Richard "Ritchie" Rosebud Petrie
* Mary Tyler Moore as Laura Petrie

## Recurring

* Richard Deacon as Melvin "Mel" Cooley
* Ann Morgan Guilbert as Mildred "Millie" Helper
* Jerry Paris as Dr. Gerald "Jerry" Helper
* Carl Reiner as Alan Brady (seasons 4–5)

## Episodes
### Pilot (1960)

| Title | Directed by | Written by | Original release date |
| "Head of the Family" | Don Weis | Carl Reiner | July 19, 1960 (1960-07-19) |
| Rob is commissioned by Richie's school to write a comedic bulletin for the PTA. His son struggles to explain to his friends what his father's occupation is, resulting in embarrassment. Laura suggests that Richie accompany Rob to his workplace. ||||

### Season 1 (1961–1962)

* Season 1 of The Dick Van Dyke Show consisted of 30 black-and-white half-hour episodes airing on CBS.
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original release date | Prod. code |
| 1 | 1 | "The Sick Boy and the Sitter" | Sheldon Leonard | Carl Reiner | October 3, 1961 (1961-10-03) | 1 |
| In the series premiere, we are introduced to the staff of The Alan Brady Show, including Rob Petrie (Dick Van Dyke), Sally Rogers (Rose Marie), Buddy Sorell (Morey Amsterdam), and Mel Cooley (Richard Deacon). This episode also introduces Rob's wife Laura Petrie (Mary Tyler Moore), and his son Richie (Larry Mathews). Ellen believes she may be ill with a babysitter while they attend a party at the home of his boss, TV star Alan Brady (unseen and unheard in this episode, later played by Carl Reiner). |||||||
| 2 | 2 | "My Blonde-Haired Brunette" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | October 10, 1961 (1961-10-10) | 9 |
| On neighbor Millie Helper (Ann Morgan Guilbert)'s advice, Laura dyes her hair blonde when she believes the romance in her marriage to Rob seems to be fading. Upon doing so, Laura regrets getting her hair dyed and tries to hide evidence of having it done before Rob comes home. |||||||
| 3 | 3 | "Sally and the Lab Technician" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | October 17, 1961 (1961-10-17) | 4 |
| Laura attempts to introduce her cousin Thomas (Eddie Firestone) to Sally as a potential romantic partner. Rob is opposed to the idea, believing that their divergent characters are a mismatch. |||||||
| 4 | 4 | "Washington vs. the Bunny" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | October 24, 1961 (1961-10-24) | 5 |
| While on a flight, Rob tells a fellow passenger (Jesse White) about how he had to choose between going to Washington as a talent scout for The Alan Brady Show or staying home to see his son in the school play as "the main bunny". Laura almost orders him not to go, but Rob insists on going out of obligation to his job duties. |||||||
| 5 | 5 | "Oh How We Met on the Night That We Danced" | Robert Butler | Carl Reiner | October 31, 1961 (1961-10-31) | 6 |
| Rob and Laura recount to Richie about their first meeting, after they find Rob's old Army coat and boots in their closet. Initially, Rob had made a poor impression on Laura. Nevertheless, he was determined to develop a relationship with her. |||||||
| 6 | 6 | "Harrison B. Harding of Camp Crowder, Mo." | John Rich | Carl Reiner | November 6, 1961 (1961-11-06) | 8 |
| Harrison B. Harding (Allan Melvin) visits Rob's office, to whom he identifies himself as a former friend from their time in the Army. Despite not remembering him, Rob feigns to recognize him out of embarrassment. Harrison and his wife (June Dayton) later arrive at the Petrie home for dinner. Rob begins to suspect that Harrison may have criminal ulterior motives and calls the police. |||||||
| 7 | 7 | "Jealousy!" | Sheldon Leonard | Carl Reiner | November 7, 1961 (1961-11-07) | 3 |
| Jerry Helper (Jerry Paris), the Petrie's neighbor, stokes Laura's insecurities when he learns that Valerie Blake (Joan Staley), a physically attractive actress, will be the guest star on The Alan Brady Show. Her paranoia about Rob's potential infidelity grows when preparations for Blake's appearance require him to work late nights. |||||||
| 8 | 8 | "To Tell or Not to Tell" | John Rich | Frank Tarloff | November 14, 1961 (1961-11-14) | 11 |
| Mel asks Rob if he would ask Laura whether she could serve as a temporary replacement for one of the show's dancers. Laura accepts the offer. Consequently, Rob takes over the household chores, for which he has no aptitude. Rob is personally conflicted over Mel's wish to offer Laura a full time contract; he dithers whether or not to disclose the offer to her. |||||||
| 9 | 9 | "The Unwelcome Houseguest" | Robert Butler | Carl Reiner | November 21, 1961 (1961-11-21) | 7 |
| Buddy and his wife are unable to bring their German Shepherd, Larry, with them on a three-day weekend. He convinces Rob into caring for the dog for the duration of their leave. Laura is upset because Rob did not discuss the matter before bringing the dog home; later, she is further angered when Richie expresses fear of the dog. |||||||
| 10 | 10 | "The Meershatz Pipe" | Sheldon Leonard | Carl Reiner | November 28, 1961 (1961-11-28) | 2 |
| Rob feigns bemusement at Buddy's new "Meershatz pipe", but is secretly envious that it was a gift from their boss, Alan Brady. |||||||
| 11 | 11 | "Forty-Four Tickets" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | December 5, 1961 (1961-12-05) | 10 |
| After scolding Richie for being forgetful, Rob belatedly realizes that he forgot to reserve tickets to The Alan Brady Show, which he had promised to the local PTA. |||||||
| 12 | 12 | "Empress Carlotta's Necklace" | James Komack | Carl Reiner | December 12, 1961 (1961-12-12) | 13 |
| Laura is touched by Rob's gift of a gaudy necklace, purchased from Mel's jeweler cousin (Gavin MacLeod). Despite her intense dislike of it, she cannot bring herself to tell this openly to Rob. |||||||
| 13 | 13 | "Sally is a Girl" | John Rich | Frank Tarloff | December 19, 1961 (1961-12-19) | 12 |
| Confusion over Laura's wish for Rob to treat Sally in a manner more befitting of a woman leads Buddy to mistakenly believe that his workmate and boss are engaging in an adulterous affair. |||||||
| 14 | 14 | "Buddy, Can You Spare a Job?" | James Komack | Walter Kempley | December 26, 1961 (1961-12-26) | 14 |
| Rob rejects a job offer as head writer at a competing television show, but Buddy considers it for himself. He devises a plan to contrive release from his contract to The Alan Brady Show. |||||||
| 15 | 15 | "Where Did I Come From?" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | January 3, 1962 (1962-01-03) | 19 |
| Rob and Laura reminisce about the day of Richie's birth. (Note: This episode was colorized and broadcast on CBS on December 14, 2018.) |||||||
| 16 | 16 | "The Curious Thing About Women" | John Rich | Frank Tarloff | January 10, 1962 (1962-01-10) | 17 |
| After bickering with Laura over her habit of preemptively opening his mail, Rob decides to write a comedy sketch based on this. A success upon broadcast, friends and acquaintances recognize Laura as the inspiration for the sketch, causing her embarrassment. |||||||
| 17 | 17 | "Punch Thy Neighbor" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | January 17, 1962 (1962-01-17) | 18 |
| Jerry, the Petrie's neighbor, teases Rob about the quality of The Alan Brady Show. Amused at Rob's annoyance, Jerry devises increasingly elaborate ways of expressing his derision. |||||||
| 18 | 18 | "Who Owes Who What?" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | January 24, 1962 (1962-01-24) | 15 |
| Laura chides Rob for not collecting money owed to him by Buddy. Confusion ensues after Rob's tentative attempts to remind Buddy of the debt. |||||||
| 19 | 19 | "The Talented Neighborhood" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | January 31, 1962 (1962-01-31) | 22 |
| Rob is inundated with pleas from neighborhood parents to audition their children after The Alan Brady Show announces a talent search for child performers. |||||||
| 20 | 20 | "A Word a Day" | John Rich | Jack Raymond | February 7, 1962 (1962-02-07) | 21 |
| Laura urges Rob to speak to their son sternly after she hears him use profanity. |||||||
| 21 | 21 | "The Boarder Incident" | John Rich | Norm Liebmann and Ed Haas | February 14, 1962 (1962-02-14) | 20 |
| Buddy feels lonesome while his wife, Pickles, is away from home. After discovering that he has been sleeping at the office, Rob offers his co-worker to stay at his home instead. |||||||
| 22 | 22 | "Father of the Week" | John Rich | Arnold and Lois Peyser | February 21, 1962 (1962-02-21) | 23 |
| Rob is chosen as Father of the Week by Richie's school; Richie, fearing embarrassment, doesn't tell him. This episode is partly based on the original pilot, "Head of the Family". |||||||
| 23 | 23 | "The Twizzle" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | February 28, 1962 (1962-02-28) | 24 |
| After discovering a young singer, Randy Twizzle, at the local bowling alley, Sally convinces her co-workers to engage him for The Alan Brady Show. |||||||
| 24 | 24 | "One Angry Man" | John Rich | Leo Solomon and Ben Gershman | March 7, 1962 (1962-03-07) | 25 |
| Rob embarrasses himself at jury duty when he finds himself attracted to the defendant, Marla Hendrix (Sue Ane Langdon), a former exotic dancer accused of diamond smuggling. |||||||
| 25 | 25 | "Where You Been, Fassbinder?" | John Rich | John Whedon | March 14, 1962 (1962-03-14) | 26 |
| Initially without a date on her birthday, Sally finds herself unexpectedly receiving a call from a former high school classmate, Leo Fassbinder (George N. Neise). His seemingly fanciful name leads her friends to believe that it is a ruse on Sally's part to keep her loneliness private, leading to general confusion. |||||||
| 26 | 26 | "I Am My Brother's Keeper" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | March 21, 1962 (1962-03-21) | 28 |
| Stacey, Rob's brother (Jerry Van Dyke), unexpectedly arrives for a stay at the Petrie household. Rob is displeased because of concern over his brother's chronic narcolepsy, during which his brother behaves with an uninhibitedness atypical of his character when conscious. (Part 1 of 2) |||||||
| 27 | 27 | "The Sleeping Brother" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | March 28, 1962 (1962-03-28) | 29 |
| While in a narcoleptic state, Stacey earns an audition for The Alan Brady Show. Upon waking, he learns of his achievement and is overcome with aphonia. (Carl Reiner appears as Alan Brady for the first time.) (Part 2 of 2) |||||||
| 28 | 28 | "The Bad Old Days" | John Rich | Norm Liebmann and Ed Haas | April 4, 1962 (1962-04-04) | 27 |
| Buddy's lamentation over the decline in the preeminence of the American male leads Rob to daydream about the past. |||||||
| 29 | 29 | "Sol and the Sponsor" | John Rich | Walter Kempley | April 11, 1962 (1962-04-11) | 16 |
| Plans for a dinner party hosted by the Petries for Henry Bermont (Roy Roberts), a sponsor for The Alan Brady Show, are disrupted by an unexpected visit from Rob's former Army friend, Sol Pomeroy (Marty Ingels). |||||||
| 30 | 30 | "The Return of Happy Spangler" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | April 18, 1962 (1962-04-18) | 30 |
| In the season finale, Happy Spangler (Jay C. Flippen) leads Rob to offer him a job on the writing staff of The Alan Brady Show. |||||||
* 1 2 3 Frank Tarloff was credited as "David Adler" due to being blacklisted.

### Season 2 (1962–1963)

* Season 2 of The Dick Van Dyke Show consisted of 32 black-and-white half-hour episodes.
* Beginning with this season, The Dick Van Dyke Show introduced a new opening sequence, which consisted of two (later three) versions, which were filmed after filming "The Two Faces Of Rob". The opening credits featuring photographs of the show's characters, as well as the text reading their names onscreen, were discontinued. The new opening credits took place in the Petrie's living room: one has Rob tripping over the ottoman, and the other has him sidestepping the ottoman. At some point, a third opening started appearing. In this third version, Rob sidesteps the ottoman, but then trips over his feet, only to be set upright by the character Sally Rogers. These versions remained in use, interchangeably between episodes, until the show's run ended on June 1, 1966.
* Beginning with the episode "It May Look Like a Walnut", the episode title began appearing onscreen.
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original release date | Prod. code |
| 31 | 1 | "Never Name a Duck" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | September 26, 1962 (1962-09-26) | 31 |
| In the Season 2 premiere, Richie becomes very attached to two baby ducks that were left over from a show and adopts them. He names them Oliver and Stanley. Three months later, after the "death" of Oliver (later to be revealed as Olivia), Stanley has become like a member of the family to Richie. Stanley isn't looking too healthy, however, much like Oliver before he "died". Rob takes the duck to the vet, learning that Stanley would be happier in the wild. How will he explain it to Richie? Jerry Hausner and Jane Dulo appear as pet owners in the vet's office. |||||||
| 32 | 2 | "The Two Faces of Rob" | John Rich | Sheldon Keller and Howard Merrill | October 3, 1962 (1962-10-03) | 32 |
| To prove a theory that a wife can't always recognize her husband on the phone, Rob calls Laura and disguises his voice and pretends to be suave Dr. Benno Benelli. But when Laura makes a phone date with the charming imaginary physician, he becomes obsessed with whether she's playing along with the joke or not. |||||||
| 33 | 3 | "The Attempted Marriage" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | October 10, 1962 (1962-10-10) | 34 |
| Rob and Laura recount to Richie the disaster that was their attempted first wedding ceremony and the less than perfect wedding ceremony that eventually did happen. Rob admits having cold feet the day of the ceremony and driving off just before to think about what he should do. A broken down jeep and a sprained ankle contributed to Rob missing the first ceremony. A respiratory tract infection almost ruined their second attempt. Sandy Kenyon appears as a Doctor. Dabbs Greer appears as Chaplain Berger. |||||||
| 34 | 4 | "Bank Book 6565696" | John Rich | R.S. Allen and Harvey Bullock | October 17, 1962 (1962-10-17) | 33 |
| Rob discovers Laura's secret bank account book. He wonders why she is keeping it a secret from him. He concludes that she is saving money to buy him a birthday present, as he wanted a new movie projector. But he receives a shirt instead of the projector. The mystery preoccupies his thoughts until he finally has to confront her and ask what it is for. After finding out what it is for, Rob feels terrible for ever having asked. |||||||
| 35 | 5 | "Hustling the Hustler" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | October 24, 1962 (1962-10-24) | 35 |
| Buddy's brother Blackie (Phil Leeds) shows up at the Alan Brady Show's offices one day, but Buddy wants nothing to do with him. Later, when meeting Buddy's brother alone while Buddy is out, Rob invites him to his house for dinner, not knowing of his past as a pool hustler. After dinner, knowing Rob has a pool table in the basement, Blackie suggests that the two of them try playing a game or two. Blackie goes on to prove to Rob and Buddy that he has gone legit. |||||||
| 36 | 6 | "My Husband is Not a Drunk" | Alan Rafkin | Carl Reiner | October 31, 1962 (1962-10-31) | 37 |
| Rob and Laura invite hypnotist pal Glen Jameson (Charles Aidman) to a dinner party with Buddy, Sally, Jerry and Millie. Glen tries to hypnotize Buddy into acting drunk whenever he hears a bell ring. Buddy pretends to be under, but it is Rob, who is watching from the kitchen, that really gets hypnotized. Not knowing that Rob was under, Glen leaves without removing the spell. Roy Roberts appears as Mr. Boland, a sponsor. |||||||
| 37 | 7 | "What's in a Middle Name?" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | November 7, 1962 (1962-11-07) | 36 |
| Richie finds his birth certificate and asks if the other name listed on it - Rosebud - is his middle name. Rob and Laura seem somewhat reluctant to answer, but say they will tell him the whole story later. It all started the day that Laura told Rob she was pregnant. Friends and relatives were excited and everyone had a specific name they wanted to call the baby, with no one willing to budge from their stance. Rob came up with Rosebud as an agreeable compromise name because it used letters from all the names the parents suggested. R: Robert, O: Oscar, S: Sam, E: Edward, B: Benjamin, U: Ulysses, D: David. Carl Benton Reid and Geraldine Wall appear as Mr. and Mrs. Meehan, Laura's parents. J. Pat O'Malley and Isabel Randolph appear as Mr. and Mrs. Petrie, Rob's parents. Cyril Delevanti appears as Grandpa Petrie. |||||||
| 38 | 8 | "Like a Sister" | Hal Cooper | Carl Reiner | November 14, 1962 (1962-11-14) | 38 |
| Handsome crooner Ric Vallone (Vic Damone) is the guest star on the Alan Brady Show. Rob is growing increasingly concerned that Sally is falling for the star, despite him being a confirmed bachelor. Rob confronts Ric, and the two come up with a way to get Sally to forget him. However, their plan doesn't quite work the way they wanted it to. |||||||
| 39 | 9 | "The Night the Roof Fell In" | Hal Cooper | John Whedon | November 21, 1962 (1962-11-21) | 39 |
| Rob and Laura have a terrible verbal fight, after each has experienced a difficult day. Each recall their version of the fight to a friend. After calming down they both try different ways to make amends. |||||||
| 40 | 10 | "The Secret Life of Buddy and Sally" | Coby Ruskin | Lee Erwin | November 28, 1962 (1962-11-28) | 40 |
| Rob is beginning to feel that Buddy and Sally are avoiding him. He starts to suspect that Buddy and Sally may be moonlighting for another comedy show, or worse - having an affair. Eavesdropping, Rob overhears Buddy and Sally talk about Herbie's Hiawatha Lodge - a getaway outside of New York City. To save their friendship and Buddy's marriage, Rob makes any excuse to go there with Laura and catch them in the act, but it ends up not being quite the act Rob anticipated. |||||||
| 41 | 11 | "A Bird in the Head Hurts" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | December 5, 1962 (1962-12-05) | 41 |
| Rob and Laura assume Richie's claims of being pecked by a giant woodpecker are just a way of getting attention. Rob believes that playing along with Richie and saying that he killed the woodpecker may finally calm Richie down for good. Millie says she's seen the woodpecker herself. Rob figures out that the bird wanted Richie's hair to build a nest. Cliff Norton appears as a Game Warden. |||||||
| 42 | 12 | "Gesundheit, Darling" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | December 12, 1962 (1962-12-12) | 42 |
| The Petries start quarreling after neighbor Jerry suggests Rob's recent sneezing fits are psychosomatic expressions of repressed rage at Laura. After getting allergy tests done and speaking to his doctor (Sandy Kenyon), Rob gets it into his head that he really is allergic to Laura. Could Richie and Freddie Helper's new club hold the answer? |||||||
| 43 | 13 | "A Man's Teeth Are Not His Own" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | December 19, 1962 (1962-12-19) | 43 |
| With Jerry away at a dentists' convention, Rob is forced to see another dentist after breaking his tooth on a chicken bone. But while he is in the other dentist's chair he has him work on another tooth, as well. Rob suffers pangs of guilt for letting another dentist work on his teeth. And he must do all that he can to avoid letting Jerry find out. |||||||
| 44 | 14 | "Somebody Has to Play Cleopatra" | John Rich | Martin Ragaway | December 26, 1962 (1962-12-26) | 44 |
| Dreading the thought of being forced to direct a fund-raising show by Mrs. Billings (Eleanor Audley) of the PTA, Rob remembers the previous year's show when he tried to cast the role of Cleopatra. But as Mrs. Billings stops by, she may surprise Rob in her reason for the visit. Bob Crane guest stars as Harry Rogers, who played Mark Antony. Shirley Mitchell appears as Shirley Rogers, Harry's wife. |||||||
| 45 | 15 | "The Cat Burglar" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | January 2, 1963 (1963-01-02) | 45 |
| A successive string of neighborhood cat burglaries makes the Petries and the Helpers jumpy. Despite the extra precaution and vigilance, both the Petries and the Helpers end up being robbed that night. The police lieutenant (Barney Phillips) asks Rob if the theft might be a publicity stunt. Rob thinks he's figured out who the burglars are and tries to catch them. Johnny Silver appears as the newspaper photographer. |||||||
| 46 | 16 | "The Foul Weather Girl" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | January 9, 1963 (1963-01-09) | 46 |
| Rob's old high school friend Jane Leighton (Joan O'Brien) comes to New York to try and make it big in show business. Rob says he will help her in any way he can, however, Laura is not so comfortable with him doing that. She does not trust the beautiful and flirtatious Jane. Rob decides to work with Jane during the evenings for a week to help her prepare for her auditions. It is part of Rob's grand plan because he knows once she gets a spot on The Alan Brady Show she will stop hanging on him. |||||||
| 47 | 17 | "Will You Two Be My Wife?" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | January 16, 1963 (1963-01-16) | 47 |
| Buddy and Sally find Rob's memoirs and read about the time Rob had to break off his engagement with an old girlfriend (Barbara Bain) before marrying Laura. At Camp Crowder Rob asks his captain if he could have two three-day passes, one for the honeymoon and one to go back home to tell his old girlfriend. As his captain would only issue one three-day pass, Rob decides he will go home and face the girlfriend. Sally and Buddy love what they read but the story, as typed, is incomplete, and they are left wondering how it ends. Rob comes back and fills them in on what is a not quite true story. Allan Melvin appears as Sam, Rob's Army friend. |||||||
| 48 | 18 | "Ray Murdock's X-Ray" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner | January 23, 1963 (1963-01-23) | 48 |
| Rob is lured onto "The Ray Murdock X-Rays", a provocative TV talk show. Murdock (Gene Lyons) assures Rob he just wants to offer his viewers a glimpse into the inner workings of a comic genius. Rob is grilled by Murdock, however, and he inadvertently describes Laura as a nut. Now if Rob can just keep Laura from seeing the show, he might just save his marriage. Jerry Hausner appears as the stage manager. |||||||
| 49 | 19 | "I Was a Teenage Head Writer" | Jerry Paris | Sheldon Keller and Howard Merrill | January 30, 1963 (1963-01-30) | 49 |
| Thinking his own friends betrayed him in an argument with Mel over a sketch, Rob remembers his first day as the head writer of The Alan Brady Show. Although Buddy and Sally had already been on staff, Rob was hired as the "head writer", causing him some friction with his established co-workers. When Alan rejected the script Buddy and Sally turned in, Rob realized what he must do to salvage all three of their reputations. Back in real time, Mel comes to Rob's house to apologize and tells him that Buddy and Sally also quit after Rob left. |||||||
| 50 | 20 | "It May Look Like a Walnut" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner | February 6, 1963 (1963-02-06) | 51 |
| Rob enjoys a scary sci-fi movie on TV while Laura cowers under the bed covers so as to not hear it. When the show ends, Rob further tortures Laura by telling the tale of Kolak, a visitor from the planet Twilo who resembles Danny Thomas and deploys walnuts to steal Earthlings' thumbs and imaginations. Rob awakes in the morning to a living room strewn with walnuts and Laura preparing scrambled walnuts for Rob's breakfast. Everyone at the office is acting as if Kolak really existed. Is Rob dreaming or is Laura having her revenge? (Note: In 1997, TV Guide ranked this episode #15 on its list of the 100 Greatest Episodes. In 2009, it moved to #13. In 2021, a clip from this episode is also shown in the WandaVision episode "Previously On". Also in 2021, the first episode of Wandavision, "Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience", is a tribute to sitcoms of the 1950s and early 1960s, especially The Dick Van Dyke Show, to the point that Wandavison's producers talked to Dick Van Dyke himself for his advice to keep the episode as authentic as possible.) |||||||
| 51 | 21 | "My Husband is a Check-Grabber" | Alan Rafkin | Carl Reiner | February 13, 1963 (1963-02-13) | 50 |
| Laura's silence forces Rob to recount their evening out to determine what he did that made her infuriated over jeopardizing Richie's college future. He finally figures out her chilly demeanor stems from his picking up the check for the entire dinner. Rob refuses to change his behavior and claims he will continue to pay for dinner checks when they're out with friends - until he sees a reflection of his behavior in the actions of his son, Richie. (Note: Bill Idelson makes his debut in the recurring role of Herman Glimscher, Sally's perennial boyfriend, in this episode.) |||||||
| 52 | 22 | "Don't Trip Over That Mountain" | Coby Ruskin | Carl Reiner | February 20, 1963 (1963-02-20) | 52 |
| Rob, who has never skied before, is going on a skiing trip with Jerry. Laura fears that Rob will injure himself. Her fears worsen when Rob and Jerry are late returning from their trip. As Laura and Millie wait together, Rob and Jerry are in a hospital getting medical attention for injuries sustained in a four person/one goat on-slope collision. Rob sustains a full-body sprain, and now he does all he can to keep it from Laura rather than admit her woman's intuition was correct. Jean Allison appears as a nurse. |||||||
| 53 | 23 | "Give Me Your Walls!" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner | February 27, 1963 (1963-02-27) | 53 |
| When Rob accidentally mars the wall in the Petries' living room, he and Laura hire Vito Giotto (Vito Scotti), a flamboyant Italian painter, to repaint the room. Giotto turns their lives upside down as he manages to paint most of the rest of the house and become increasingly involved in their daily lives without ever completing the job he was hired to do. Rob decides that they have to get rid of Vito, but Vito comes through in the end. |||||||
| 54 | 24 | "The Sam Pomerantz Scandals" | Claudio Guzmán | Carl Reiner | March 6, 1963 (1963-03-06) | 54 |
| Rob, Laura, Buddy, and Sally must perform in a show for Rob's friend Sam Pomerantz (Henry Calvin) at his resort after Rob accidentally injures comedian Danny Brewster (Len Weinrib, who appeared earlier as "Jackie Brewster"). |||||||
| 55 | 25 | "The Square Triangle" | Jerry Paris | Bill Idelson | March 20, 1963 (1963-03-20) | 56 |
| Rob and Laura are both surprised that the latest guest star on The Alan Brady Show is someone from their past — French star Jacques Savon (Jacques Bergerac). Rob feels responsible for breaking up Jacques' marriage. Oddly enough, Laura feels responsible, too. Neither Rob nor Laura knows what the other thinks. Rob and Laura met Jacques and his then wife Yvette when they visited Europe years ago. When Jacques finds out that both Rob and Laura are scared to see him and the reason why, he has to figure out a way to make them both feel OK without letting each other know their secret. |||||||
| 56 | 26 | "I'm No Henry Walden!" | Jerry Paris | Story by : Ray Brenner & Jack Guss Teleplay by : Carl Reiner | March 27, 1963 (1963-03-27) | 55 |
| Rob and Laura are invited to a dinner party for all the top writers in various fields, thrown by wealthy Mrs. Huntington (Doris Packer). Rob and Laura really only want to meet famed poet Henry Walden (Everett Sloane). The party later reveals itself to be a fund-raiser with guests donating either some or all of their earnings from published books. So as to fit in, Rob pulls out a blank check, which Mrs. Huntington, mistaking the gesture for selfless generosity, snags before he can fill in an amount. With Rob's meager bank account and reputation in peril, salvation comes from an unexpected source, also revealing the true reason behind his invitation to the party. Howard Wendell, Roxane Berard, and Betty Lou Gerson appear as guests at the party. |||||||
| 57 | 27 | "Racy Tracy Rattigan" | Sheldon Leonard | Ronald Alexander and Carl Reiner | April 3, 1963 (1963-04-03) | 57 |
| British actor 'Racy' Tracy Rattigan (Richard Dawson) is filling in as substitute host for The Alan Brady Show — and he seems to have an interest in Laura. Rob finally has to spray him with champagne to stop his flirtatious advances at Laura. The next day, Tracy comes to the office and tells everyone that last night was all a gag. Will they ever know if that is the truth? |||||||
| 58 | 28 | "Divorce" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner | April 10, 1963 (1963-04-10) | 58 |
| Rob gets a late evening call from Buddy. He's left Pickles (Joan Shawlee). Rob meets Buddy at a bar to find out what happened. Leaving Buddy at a hotel after an already long evening, Rob gets a call from Pickles, in hysterics over Buddy not coming home. She insists Rob come over, which he reluctantly does. He hears her side of the story. Just at the very moment when Rob tries to comfort her, who should return home? Charlie Cantor appears as the bartender. |||||||
| 59 | 29 | "It's a Shame She Married Me" | James Niver | Sheldon Keller and Howard Merrill | April 17, 1963 (1963-04-17) | 59 |
| Rob and Laura learn from their accountant that they'll have to cut some corners for a little while until their financial situation improves. Rob gets envious when he learns that Jim Darling (Robert Vaughn), the show's new wealthy and good-looking sponsor, also happens to be Laura's old beau. Jim wants to host a cocktail party for the show's staff and their spouses while he's in town and especially wants to see Laura. The party winds up being at Rob's house. Laura may regret the party after seeing the way Rob acts around Jim. |||||||
| 60 | 30 | "A Surprise Surprise is a Surprise" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner | April 24, 1963 (1963-04-24) | 60 |
| Rob overhears Laura talking to Millie about some secret. At first it sounds like Laura is planning on having an affair, but then Rob learns that the secret is a surprise birthday party for him. When Laura suspects Rob knows, she makes a change of plans. Rob is pretty certain she is trying the old double reverse on him. Is she really? Only a party (or none) on Saturday night will tell the real story of who managed to outfox whom. |||||||
| 61 | 31 | "Jilting the Jilter" | Jerry Paris | Ronald Alexander | May 1, 1963 (1963-05-01) | 61 |
| Rob and Buddy are reminiscing about Freddy White (Guy Marks), a deadbeat comedian to whom they have both provided material but who never paid them. Rob, Laura, and Sally go out to dinner and they run into Freddy. Rob and Buddy are surprised to learn that Sally likes Freddy, whom she hopes someday to marry. Rob knows that Freddy is only romancing Sally to get her to write him some new material for free, which Freddy admits to him in private. Rob believes that if they write Freddy a great act, he'll forget about Sally. That plan doesn't pan out, but Freddy does reveal something to Sally that makes her say goodbye. |||||||
| 62 | 32 | "When a Bowling Pin Talks, Listen" | Jerry Paris | Martin Ragaway | May 8, 1963 (1963-05-08) | 62 |
| In the Season 2 finale, Richie fashions himself as an audience member of The Uncle Spunly Show, which was sponsored by the candy product Crummy Buttons. Rob, Buddy, and Sally have to find a way to get Alan to unlove the sketch. Alan, however, believes the best defense is a strong offense. Herbie Faye appears as Willie the Deli Man. |||||||
* ↑ Credited as Ray Allen Saffian

### Season 3 (1963–1964)

* Season 3 of The Dick Van Dyke Show consisted of 32 black-and-white half-hour episodes.
* Recurring Character Debuts: Stevie Parsons (Richard Schaal).
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original release date | Prod. code |
| 63 | 1 | "That's My Boy??" | John Rich | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | September 25, 1963 (1963-09-25) | 64 |
| In the Season 3 premiere, Rob tells Mel about the time he thought he brought home the wrong baby from the hospital. The hospital staff kept mistaking Laura's room (208) with that of a Mrs. Peters (203) who also had a baby boy that same day. Rob begins to believe that the Peters' baby and theirs were mixed up. Not wanting to concern Laura, Rob tried to find evidence of the mix-up and talks to the Peters on the phone. Only after meeting the Peters does Rob become certain that they had the correct baby all along. Amzie Strickland appears as the nurse. Greg Morris appears as Mr. Peters. (Note: This episode was colorized and shown on CBS-TV on December 11, 2016.) |||||||
| 64 | 2 | "The Masterpiece" | John Rich | Sam Denoff and Bill Persky | October 2, 1963 (1963-10-02) | 65 |
| While at an estate sale to learn about auctions for a sketch on The Alan Brady Show, Rob, Buddy, and Sally accidentally bid on a painting of a clown signed by "Artanis". Rob and Laura discover that another, original painting is hidden underneath that of the clown -- one that bears a striking similarity to the Grant Wood masterpiece American Gothic. It turns out that the painting of the clown was by Frank Sinatra. Carl Reiner's Your Show of Shows writing colleague Howard Morris appears as the art expert, Mr. Holdecker. Alan Reed, the voice of Fred Flintstone, appears as the auctioneer. |||||||
| 65 | 3 | "Laura's Little Lie" | John Rich | Carl Reiner and Howard Merrill | October 9, 1963 (1963-10-09) | 66 |
| Rob would like to know why Laura disappears every time his insurance agent Ed Rubin (Charles Aidman) comes over or calls. Laura is forced to confess to Rob that she lied about her age on their marriage certificate and that she was 17 instead of the 19 that she claimed to be. Rob has to now find out whether he and Laura are still legally married. (Part 1 of 2) |||||||
| 66 | 4 | "Very Old Shoes, Very Old Rice" | John Rich | Carl Reiner | October 16, 1963 (1963-10-16) | 67 |
| Rob and Laura must go out of town to make their marriage legal without their friends finding out, but a marital squabble before Judge Krata (Russell Collins) might prevent it. Burt Mustin and Madge Blake appear as Mr. and Mrs. Donald Parker, respectively, the wedding witnesses. (Part 2 of 2) |||||||
| 67 | 5 | "All About Eavesdropping" | Stanley Cherry | Sheldon Keller and Howard Merrill | October 23, 1963 (1963-10-23) | 63 |
| Through Richie's toy intercom, Rob and Laura eavesdrop on a private conversation between Jerry and Millie. They discover that it is probably better not to know what Millie and Jerry say about them when they are not around. Rob and Laura become infuriated just prior to attending the Helper's dinner party, making for a seriously disquieting evening. After the party, Rob and Laura decide they need to let Millie and Jerry know what happened and apologize. |||||||
| 68 | 6 | "Too Many Stars" | Jerry Paris | Sheldon Keller and Howard Merrill | October 30, 1963 (1963-10-30) | 69 |
| Rob is forced to once again direct the annual PTA variety show. Instead of Laura getting the lead role, as usual, Rob must choose between Laura and Anita Lebost (Sylvia Lewis), a talented newcomer to the neighborhood. Rob comes up with a compromise. Eleanor Audley appears as Mrs. Billings. Jerry Hausner appears as the delivery man. Eddie Ryder appears as Howard Lebost. |||||||
| 69 | 7 | "Who and Where Was Antonio Stradivarius?" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner | November 6, 1963 (1963-11-06) | 70 |
| While doing a run-through of a sketch for The Alan Brady Show, Rob smashes what he thinks is a breakaway violin over his head. Instead, it is a real violin, and the blow from the instrument brings on a bout of temporary amnesia. Rob winds up at a party in Red Hook, New Jersey, with no memory of his real identity. How can Rob convince Laura that he had amnesia and that he is not lying to her? Harold Peary and Amzie Strickland appear as Laura's Uncle and Aunt. |||||||
| 70 | 8 | "Uncle George" | Jerry Paris | Bill Idelson | November 13, 1963 (1963-11-13) | 68 |
| Rob's gregarious Uncle George (Denver Pyle) visits, and asks Rob to help him find a wife. Sally comes up with the idea of her boyfriend Herman Glimscher's (Bill Idelson) mother (Elvia Allman). Rob and Laura host a small dinner party where the elderly pair can meet. A problem arises when Uncle George only has eyes for Sally. Rob has to figure out a way to tell Uncle George that he needs to look for someone a little older than Sally. |||||||
| 71 | 9 | "Big Max Calvada" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | November 20, 1963 (1963-11-20) | 71 |
| An infamous mobster (series producer Sheldon Leonard) asks Rob, Buddy, and Sally to write material for his nephew Kenny (Larrs Jackson, credited under his early stage name, Jack Larson), who aspires to be a comic. They are afraid to refuse because of Calvada's reputation. They are also alarmed to learn that, despite preparing top-notch material for him, Kenny is hopelessly untalented as a performer. Apparently, Max had another reason for hiring them. Arthur Batanides appears as Bernard, Max's associate. Sue Casey appears as Clarisse Calvada. |||||||
| 72 | 10 | "The Ballad of the Betty Lou" | Howard Morris | Martin Ragaway | November 27, 1963 (1963-11-27) | 72 |
| Inspired by an outing on Alan Brady's yacht and against the warning of their wives, Rob and Jerry purchase a boat together. They go on a sailing trip that ends disastrously. |||||||
| 73 | 11 | "Turtles, Ties and Toreadors" | Jerry Paris | John Whedon | December 4, 1963 (1963-12-04) | 73 |
| Rob hires a maid to give Laura a rest from housework. He ends up with Maria (Míriam Colón), a woman fresh from Barcelona who speaks no English, has a broken arm, and expects to work as a live-in. Rob and Laura agree that she can't stay, but neither wants to be the one to fire her. They then learn that she will be deported if they do, so they agree to keep her until the agency can find her another job. Ultimately, Rob discovers she has a talent for something else and gets her a job doing that. |||||||
| 74 | 12 | "The Sound of the Trumpets of Conscience Falls Deafly on a Brain That Holds Its Ears..." | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | December 11, 1963 (1963-12-11) | 74 |
| Rob struggles between his civic duty and fear for his family's safety when he believes he can identify the two robbers in a jewelry store holdup. Bernie Hamilton appears as Patrolman Nelson. Ken Lynch appears as Lt. Yarnell. |||||||
| 75 | 13 | "The Alan Brady Show Presents" | Jerry Paris | Sam Denoff and Bill Persky | December 18, 1963 (1963-12-18) | 76 |
| Alan's annual Christmas show is airing. He has had many critics state that what his Christmas shows lack is heart. Alan rejects the funny script Rob, Buddy and Sally submit in favor of an idea he believes has heart. He'll have his staff, who entertain at many of his social functions, be the headliners of the show. Carl Reiner appears as Alan Brady, but as was the custom at this juncture of the series, his face is not seen, but is instead hidden behind an outsized Santa Claus beard. (Note that Carl Reiner is not listed in the cast credits.) |||||||
| 76 | 14 | "The Third One from the Left" | Jerry Paris | John Whedon | January 1, 1964 (1964-01-01) | 75 |
| Rob becomes the victim of undying gratitude and amorous attentions when he elevates a talented young chorus girl named Joan Delroy (Cheryl Holdridge) to a featured role on the show. Laura gives Rob some advice on how to get rid of Joan, but that backfires. When Joan finds out how her boyfriend Ernie really feels, she forgets about Rob. |||||||
| 77 | 15 | "My Husband Is the Best One" | Jerry Paris | Martin Ragaway | January 8, 1964 (1964-01-08) | 77 |
| Laura interferes in an interview between Rob and magazine reporter Diane Moseby regarding The Alan Brady Show. This results in Rob getting most of the credit for the comic success of the show. Rob blames both Laura and himself for the article's tone, and he must figure out a way to make it up to Alan, Buddy, and Sally. But Rob's plan to set things straight backfires. Although he is still shot only from behind, this episode represents the first time Carl Reiner has a significant amount of dialog in the role of Alan Brady. (Note that Carl Reiner is not listed in the cast credits.) |||||||
| 78 | 16 | "The Lady and the Tiger and the Lawyer" | Jerry Paris | Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson | January 15, 1964 (1964-01-15) | 79 |
| Rob and Laura become competitive matchmakers for bachelor Arthur Stanwyck (Anthony Eisley), who just moved into the neighborhood. Rob sets him up with Sally, and Laura arranges a date with her clumsy but sophisticated cousin Donna Palmer. After hosting two dinner parties, Rob and Laura are totally confused at who makes the better match between the two extremely different women. Only Arthur may shed some light on whom he favors, what he intends on doing, and why. |||||||
| 79 | 17 | "The Life and Love of Joe Coogan" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner | January 22, 1964 (1964-01-22) | 80 |
| While golfing, Rob meets a man named Joe Coogan (Michael Forest), who turns out to be yet another old boyfriend of Laura's. Laura admits that she's secretly kept some mementos of her relationship with Joe, namely love sonnets he wrote to her. Rob is obviously hurt and jealous. Laura and Millie go to visit the club to find Joe, and discover he is a priest. Laura phones Rob to let him know she's invited Joe to dinner. Not knowing Joe is a priest, Rob invites Sally to join them and snatch Joe away from Laura once and for all. |||||||
| 80 | 18 | "A Nice, Friendly Game of Cards" | Howard Morris | Ernest Chambers | January 29, 1964 (1964-01-29) | 81 |
| When Sally arrives at the Petrie house, they explain to her how a game of cards with their new neighbors, a former District Attorney named Lou Gregory (Edward Platt) and his wife Beth (Shirley Mitchell), ended badly. Laura accidentally damages one of the cards. She gets a replacement deck, not realizing she's chosen a marked deck that Rob was using earlier to show Richie some card tricks. Right before winning the last hand, Rob realizes that the cards are marked and that he has been subconsciously reading them. He tries to figure out how to get out of the situation gracefully. |||||||
| 81 | 19 | "Happy Birthday and Too Many More" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | February 5, 1964 (1964-02-05) | 78 |
| Kids' birthday parties have recently become extravagant affairs, so Laura expects to hold Richie's birthday party at Dizzyland amusement park. Rob considers it awhile before firmly deciding to hold the event at home, despite having 63 kids. The children proceed to make a mess of things. Laura reminds Rob of his own belief that parents should give of themselves to their kids. Rob comes up with some entertainment. |||||||
| 82 | 20 | "The Brave and the Backache" | Jerry Paris | Sheldon Keller and Howard Merrill | February 12, 1964 (1964-02-12) | 82 |
| Jerry would like to offer Millie's sister's cottage at Lake Sissy Manoonoo to Rob and Laura for the weekend. He believes Rob has some psychological block, however, in going there, since he has always come down with some ailment every other time the cottage has been offered to them. Rob suspects Jerry might be right when he suddenly throws his back out. He decides to consult Jerry's psychiatrist friend, Dr. Phil Nevins (Ross Elliott). Ken Berry appears as Tony Daniels, a dance choreographer. |||||||
| 83 | 21 | "The Pen Is Mightier Than the Mouth" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | February 19, 1964 (1964-02-19) | 83 |
| Buddy and Rob are left writing the show without Sally when she becomes a hit as a regular guest on The Stevie Parsons Show. Rob is concerned about how Alan's show will suffer. Rob and Buddy need Sally in the office not only as a third comic brain but as a buffer between the two male egos. Rob decides he needs to give Sally an ultimatum, but Sally beats him to the punch with her own news about her long-term future. (Part 1 of 2) |||||||
| 84 | 22 | "My Part-Time Wife" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | February 26, 1964 (1964-02-26) | 84 |
| During Sally's appearance on The Stevie Parsons Show, Rob has a hard time finding even remotely adequate help. After Rob relents, Laura herself fills in as the typist on The Alan Brady Show, driving Rob crazy with her excellent work. She can do the secretarial job very well and still maintain the house. Rob, festering, makes the office environment with Laura an antagonistic one. Rob tells Laura that he's afraid she'll want to keep working because it was so easy. She tells him it was the hardest week of her life, which works out since Sally says she's coming back. Jackie Joseph appears as Alan Brady's niece. (Part 2 of 2) |||||||
| 85 | 23 | "Honeymoons Are for the Lucky" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner | March 4, 1964 (1964-03-04) | 85 |
| Rob tells Buddy and Sally about the time he and Laura tried to go on their honeymoon. Captain Lebost (Peter Hobbs) revoked all free-passes due to a theft in the army unit. Rob had to sneak off the base. Once at the lodge, he found Laura dealing with a shabby resort and its boisterous owner, Mrs. Campbell (Kathleen Freeman). Sam (Allan Melvin), Rob's Army buddy, comes to get him because of a surprise bed check. Back at the base, Rob learns that he will get his pass after all. Johnny Silver appears as Mr. Campbell. |||||||
| 86 | 24 | "How to Spank a Star" | Jerry Paris | Nathaniel Curtis and Bill Idelson | March 11, 1964 (1964-03-11) | 86 |
| The latest guest star on The Alan Brady Show, Paula Marshall (Lola Albright), makes Rob the producer of the show and the subject of her whims. Paula's egocentric requests force Rob to understand that she is making him do things against what he would normally consider good for the show. Laura's handling of a disobedient Richie shows Rob how he needs to deal with Paula and do the show as intended by the writers. |||||||
| 87 | 25 | "The Plots Thicken" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner, Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | March 18, 1964 (1964-03-18) | 87 |
| Rob and Laura are caught in the middle of a feud between their parents over competing cemetery plots. The cemetery plots clearly become a manifestation of their parents' competition for their love. When Rob decides that he and Laura will share cemetery plots with their own parents, Richie asks if they are splitting up and if they still love each other. This brings everyone back into perspective. Carl Benton Reid and Geraldine Wall appear as Mr. and Mrs. Meehan, respectively, Laura's parents. |||||||
| 88 | 26 | "Scratch My Car and Die" | Howard Morris | John Whedon | March 25, 1964 (1964-03-25) | 88 |
| Rob has just bought a new car, which he loves. Because their station wagon is in the shop, Laura needs to drive the new car as it is her day to carpool the children to school. While it wasn't Laura's fault, a large scratch on the passenger side materializes. Laura has to decide whether to tell Rob and receive his certain wrath, or hide the fact of the scratch until she can get it repaired. Maybe Rob will understand that an accident can happen to anyone, even a distracted comedy writer. |||||||
| 89 | 27 | "The Return of Edwin Carp" | Howard Morris | Carl Reiner | April 1, 1964 (1964-04-01) | 89 |
| While Allan is on vacation, Rob wants to write a show around old-time radio characters. Buddy, Sally. and even Laura don't think anyone watching television would be interested in these radio stars that no one probably even remembers. They are successful in convincing radio personalities "The Mad Russian" (Bert Gordon), "The Chatterbox" (Arlene Harris), and "Fish Man Edwin Carp" (Richard Haydn), who did fish imitations, to perform. Everything seems fine until Edwin confesses a personal problem on the eve of the broadcast that might derail the production. Amzie Strickland appears as Edwin's Mother. |||||||
| 90 | 28 | "October Eve" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | April 8, 1964 (1964-04-08) | 90 |
| Laura once commissioned artist Sergei Carpetna for a fully clothed portrait of herself. Sergei, taking artistic license, rendered her nude. Laura threw paint on it, thinking she ruined it. But now the painting is standing in an art gallery for all to see. She tells Rob about it and he reassures Laura that he's not upset, but he really is. Laura remembers that she paid for the painting. Rob comes up with a way for Sergei to sell the painting and make Rob and Laura happy. Notes: The title and plot of this episode are an allusion to the controversial oil painting September Morn (1911). This episode was colorized and shown on CBS-TV on December 22, 2017. and again on July 3, 2020 to mark the passing of Carl Reiner as it was one of his favorite episodes of the series. |||||||
| 91 | 29 | "Dear Mrs. Petrie, Your Husband Is in Jail" | Jerry Paris | Jerry Belson and Garry Marshall | April 15, 1964 (1964-04-15) | 91 |
| With Laura out of town for a few days, Rob tries to figure out what to do in his spare time. Eventually, he looks in on Benny Joey (Herkie Styles), an old Army buddy, who is a stand-up comic at a nightclub. Rob, Benny and some of the other performers, including Maureen Core (Barbara Stuart) whose military themed act uses a small cannon, partake in a sometimes not so friendly craps game. Unfortunately, it results in confusion that ultimately lands Rob behind bars. Arthur Batanides, Jackie Joseph, and Johnny Silver guest star. |||||||
| 92 | 30 | "My Neighbor's Husband's Other Life" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner, Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | April 22, 1964 (1964-04-22) | 92 |
| Rob and Laura spot their neighbor Jerry at a fancy restaurant with a pretty blonde. They suspect him of having an affair, and his lack of candor seems to confirm their fears. Their beliefs are strengthened by implications directly from Millie to Laura, and by a similar sighting of Jerry with an unknown woman by Sally. Rob's conversation with Jerry about the issue brings the full story to light. |||||||
| 93 | 31 | "I'd Rather Be Bald Than Have No Head at All" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | April 29, 1964 (1964-04-29) | 93 |
| Worried that he's going bald, Rob sees Buddy's barber Irwin (Ned Glass) who provides an unusual method of preventing baldness. But Irwin's concoction includes ingredients that seem more suited to a salad bowl than to a barbershop. Laura has a dream that Rob is at first bald and then has a head covered in lettuce. |||||||
| 94 | 32 | "Teacher's Petrie" | Jerry Paris | Jerry Belson and Garry Marshall | May 13, 1964 (1964-05-13) | 94 |
| In the Season 3 finale, Laura takes a creative writing course, and the teacher over-complements Laura's work. Rob infers from this unwarranted attention that Mr. Caldwell (Bernard Fox) is using Laura to meet him. In fact, Mr. Caldwell's interest is only in Laura. Cheerio Meredith appears as Miss Prinder, another student. |||||||

### Season 4 (1964–1965)

* Season 4 of The Dick Van Dyke Show consisted of 32 black-and-white half-hour episodes.
* The 100th episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show (Romance, Roses and Rye Bread) airs.
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original release date | Prod. code |
| 95 | 1 | "My Mother Can Beat Up My Father" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | September 23, 1964 (1964-09-23) | 96 |
| In the Season 4 premiere, Rob tells a nurse how he wound up in the hospital: it is Laura's fault for being superior in the art of self-defense. Three days earlier, when a drunk (Paul Gilbert) accosts Laura and Rob in a downtown bar, Laura surprises Rob by using a judo throw that flattens the man. Rob begins to feel inadequate as the "protector" of his household and gets a lot of ribbing about it. He learns that the show's chorus lead, Tony Daniels (Ken Berry), knows judo. To regain his confidence, Rob takes a few lessons to show Laura a few moves. It is one of those moves that lands Rob in the hospital. |||||||
| 96 | 2 | "The Ghost of A. Chantz" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | September 30, 1964 (1964-09-30) | 97 |
| Alan has invited Mel, Rob, Laura, Buddy and Sally to a fishing lodge for a working weekend. After a mix up by Mel for reservations at a lodge, Rob, Laura, Buddy and Sally spend the night in a seemingly haunted cabin. The last occupant of that cabin, the wealthy Amos Chantz, disappeared without a trace. Strange things start happening all around them once they are inside. Though scared, they decide to stay. But "the ghost" may have other things on his mind as, one by one, the cabin inhabitants start disappearing, leaving the last of the four to deal with the ghost of Amos Chantz on his own. Milton Parsons appears as the caretaker. |||||||
| 97 | 3 | "The Lady and the Babysitter" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | October 7, 1964 (1964-10-07) | 98 |
| Roger (Eddie Hodges), a babysitter in high school whom the Petries adore, develops a huge crush on Laura. Laura detects that he's in unrequited love with a girl. He admits he is, but that the object of his affection doesn't know. Rob, not realizing who is involved, encourages him to express his love to the object of his desire. Rob and Laura have to figure out what to do after she receives his love letter. |||||||
| 98 | 4 | "A Vigilante Ripped My Sports Coat" | Peter Baldwin | Carl Reiner | October 14, 1964 (1964-10-14) | 99 |
| A disagreement over a neighbor's crabgrass threatens to end the friendship between the Petries and the Helpers, especially when Jerry rips Rob's sports coat. Rob wants to extend an olive branch by sending an invitation to the Helpers to attend a dinner party at their house. When they don't show up, Rob thinks he and Laura have been snubbed. But, the invitation was never mailed. Mel finds it almost a week after the scheduled dinner party and mails it for Rob. The feud may escalate over this misunderstanding, however, the misunderstanding itself may actually solve their problem. |||||||
| 99 | 5 | "The Man from Emperor" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner, Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | October 21, 1964 (1964-10-21) | 100 |
| Drew Patton, an old friend of Rob's, shows up to offer him a job with his hugely successful but racy gentlemen's magazine, Emperor. Rob says he won't do it, but Laura is not so sure. Rob is very tempted by the wining, dining, and the beautiful girls. Laura admits to Rob why she is so scared of him working for Drew. Rob tells Laura he didn't take the job. Gloria Neil appears as Laura #2. |||||||
| 100 | 6 | "Romance, Roses and Rye Bread" | Jerry Paris | Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson | October 28, 1964 (1964-10-28) | 101 |
| In the show's 100th episode, a red rose found in Sally's desk bespeaks of a secret admirer. When she learns it is Bert (Sid Melton), the jocular deli man, she does not take it seriously. Bert is really in love with her. When told of this fact, Sally does not know what to do, as Bert is not her type, but she does not want to hurt him. Sally ultimately has to be up front with her feelings. |||||||
| 101 | 7 | "4 1/2" | Jerry Paris | Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson | November 4, 1964 (1964-11-04) | 102 |
| Rob, Buddy and Sally have been asked to do a benefit show at Granville State Prison by its entertainment director, convict Lyle Delp. Rob tells his coworkers about the day he and Laura met prisoner Lyle Delp (Don Rickles). Lyle had robbed the Petries years ago in an elevator, but then the three were trapped together when the elevator got stuck. Their goal was to get out of the elevator safely and quickly, but they wind up just waiting for help. This gave them time to get to know each other. (Part 1 of 2) |||||||
| 102 | 8 | "The Alan Brady Show Goes to Jail" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | November 11, 1964 (1964-11-11) | 103 |
| The Alan Brady Show crew come to prison to put on a show for Lyle Delp (Don Rickles) and his fellow inmates. Rob and Laura unwisely choose to wear prison uniforms for the show. Rob gets mistaken for a real prisoner and is thrown in the slammer. Rob has to figure a way to convince the disbelieving guard (Allan Melvin) that he is who he says he is. Ken Lynch appears as Warden Walter Jackson. Robert Strauss and Arthur Batanides appear as two trouble making inmates. (Part 2 of 2) Note: Alan is misspelled "Allan" in the onscreen title. |||||||
| 103 | 9 | "Three Letters from One Wife" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | November 18, 1964 (1964-11-18) | 104 |
| Rob gets Alan Brady to host a television documentary about comedy that Rob wrote, even though Alan is against it. Laura believes that if Alan gets enough positive fan mail, he'll consider it a success. Millie writes fourteen letters to Alan praising the program, but everything goes awry when the program is pre-empted and is not shown. Laura and Millie have to figure out what to do, hopefully to keep Rob from standing in the unemployment line after Alan reads the letters. Turns out Mel saves the day. Note: This episode is the first episode in the series where Alan Brady starts appearing without his face being obscured. |||||||
| 104 | 10 | "Pink Pills and Purple Parents" | Alan Rafkin | Jerry Belson and Garry Marshall | November 25, 1964 (1964-11-25) | 106 |
| After Buddy offers Sally one of his pain pills, Rob warns them not to, introducing in flashback the cautionary tale of the time years earlier when Laura was extremely nervous about the first time Rob's parents were invited to the newlyweds' home for dinner. Millie offers her some of her own prescribed relaxation pills. With a glass of wine in her system as well, Laura ends up not being in control of her faculties that evening, her bizarre behavior not making the impression she had intended. Tom Tully and Isabel Randolph appear as Rob's parents. |||||||
| 105 | 11 | "It Wouldn't Hurt Them to Give Us a Raise" | Peter Baldwin | Jay Burton and Ernest Chambers | December 2, 1964 (1964-12-02) | 105 |
| On learning they're not the highest paid writers for their highest rated show, Sally and Buddy go on strike. Rob, speaking on their behalf for raises, gets a bewildering introduction to Alan's convoluted corporate structure. Because of this befuddling structure, Rob winds up getting a raise and Buddy and Sally still get nothing. Rob has to figure how to tell the others. But, in the end, they all get raises in another convoluted way. Roger C. Carmel plays Alan Brady's accountant, Doug Wesley. Larry Matthews does not appear in this episode. |||||||
| 106 | 12 | "The Death of the Party" | Alan Rafkin | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | December 9, 1964 (1964-12-09) | 107 |
| Laura doesn't want Rob to go golfing because she fears he will become sick and ruin her party with her relatives. Rob goes anyway and does get sick and must put on a positive face for the party rather than admit she was right that he should have skipped the golf game. It turns out that he didn't get sick from golfing anyway. Willard Waterman appears as Uncle Harold. Jane Dulo appears as Cousin Margaret. |||||||
| 107 | 13 | "My Two Show-Offs and Me" | Jerry Paris | Sheldon Keller and Howard Merrill | December 16, 1964 (1964-12-16) | 95 |
| Rob, Buddy and Sally let their egos get the best of them when Mel tells them a reporter (Doris Singleton) from a magazine will be sitting in on a writing session for The Alan Brady Show. But a last-minute realization may save them from public embarrassment. |||||||
| 108 | 14 | "Stretch Petrie vs. Kid Schenk" | Jerry Paris | Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson | December 30, 1964 (1964-12-30) | 108 |
| Neil Schenk (Jack Carter), an old but manipulative pal of Rob's, re-enters Rob's life to, once again, milk him for repayment of a good turn he once provided Rob. He aims to get a job at the advertising agency that does commercials for The Alan Brady Show. He wants Rob to write him a glowing letter of recommendation, which is made all the more difficult as Rob knows Neil isn't right for the job. Rob has to figure out how to stand up to Neil this time and refuse to do what he wants. Peter Hobbs appears as Bill Sampson, head of the advertising agency. |||||||
| 109 | 15 | "Brother, Can You Spare $2500?" | Jerry Paris | Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson | January 6, 1965 (1965-01-06) | 110 |
| Rob carelessly loses the important script needed for that weeks The Alan Brady Show at Grand Central Station. An unsuccessful visit with the lost and found attendant Harry Keene (Herbie Faye) forces Rob to tell his colleagues. It was found at the train station by a homeless bum (Gene Baylos) who is holding it for ransom. Rob attends the drop point only to get drawn into a series of misadventures involving two other vagrants (Tiny Brauer), a policeman (Larry J. Blake), and a spoiled kid and mother on an outing. Hauled away to the police station for assaulting the wrong bum, Rob has failed to obtain the script. With hope lost and the show in jeopardy, the bum surprisingly shows up at their office building with script in hand, having witnessed Rob's arrest. |||||||
| 110 | 16 | "The Impractical Joke" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | January 13, 1965 (1965-01-13) | 109 |
| At a party at Sally's house , Buddy plays a series of telephone pranks on unsuspecting people. He convinces his comic friend Phil Franklin (Lennie Weinrib) to call Rob to pull a prank about a broken telephone. Buddy expects a reprisal, but the longer Rob takes to pay him back, the more paranoid Buddy becomes, suspecting everything and everybody. A William Handlebuck (Alvy Moore) from the IRS comes to the office to talk to Buddy. Buddy gives him a hard time thinking it's a gag. Rob convinces Buddy that Handlebuck is really from the IRS and Buddy is terrified that he's in trouble. It turns out that it was Phill pulling a prank on Buddy. |||||||
| 111 | 17 | "Stacey Petrie - Part I" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner | January 20, 1965 (1965-01-20) | 111 |
| Fresh out of the Army, Stacey Petrie (Jerry Van Dyke) arrives to open his nightclub and marry a girl he's never met. Rob and Laura find out her name is Julie, she lives in New York City, is a friend of an army buddy, and hasn't been asked to marry him yet. A practice date with Sally seems in order to help combat his shyness. Sally learns why he's nervous to meet Julie. The rest of the evening unfolds in a violent way neither Sally nor Stacey had envisioned but which benefits the two in different ways. Howard Wendell appears as Dr. Lemler. |||||||
| 112 | 18 | "Stacey Petrie - Part II" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner, Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | January 27, 1965 (1965-01-27) | 112 |
| Stacey waits till the day before his club opening to fess up to Julie about the author of her love letters from "Jim". Meanwhile, Rob and Laura do much of the work at the club. Her reaction to the truth may entirely affect the success or failure of Stacey's business venture. Herbie Faye appears as Lou Temple, club employee. Carl Reiner appears as Willie Cooke, a drunken actor. |||||||
| 113 | 19 | "Boy #1, Boy #2" | Jerry Paris | Martin Ragaway | February 3, 1965 (1965-02-03) | 114 |
| Millie and Laura become two terrible stage-mothers when Rob agrees to hire sons Richie and Freddie for a commercial directed by Mel Cooley. Rob endeavors to make the script equal for both kids. But, Laura and Millie take it upon themselves to make it unequal, each trying to increase the exposure of her own son. In the end, Rob has to hire some professional children as the boys just keep getting worse. |||||||
| 114 | 20 | "The Redcoats Are Coming" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | February 10, 1965 (1965-02-10) | 113 |
| The Petries are recruited to shelter popular British rock duo The Redcoats (Chad & Jeremy) from their hordes of fans. Although knowing the worst would happen, Rob and Laura are both dying to tell someone - anyone - that the Redcoats are staying at their house. The boys manage to get away safely the next morning, but some girls find out that they had stayed there. Will the Petrie house survive? William Beckley appears as Richard Karp, The Redcoats' manager. |||||||
| 115 | 21 | "The Case of the Pillow" | Howard Morris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | February 17, 1965 (1965-02-17) | 115 |
| Rob takes on Mr. Wiley (Alvy Moore), a crooked pillow salesman, in court. Apparently, he sold Laura pillows that smelled of chickens. Rob makes a fool of himself in court, but wins the case anyway. Amzie Strickland appears as May Wiley. Joel Fluellen appears as the Bailiff. Ed Begley appears as the Judge. |||||||
| 116 | 22 | "Young Man with a Shoehorn" | Jerry Paris | Jerry Belson and Garry Marshall | February 24, 1965 (1965-02-24) | 116 |
| Rob invests his bonus paycheck in Buddy's Uncle Lou's (Lou Jacobi) discount shoe store. Laura may regret Rob's decision after receiving horrible service from the store's salesman, Sid (Milton Frome), who doesn't know she is Rob's wife. Feeling the need to protect his investment, Rob talks to Sid about the situation, but Sid, not taking any guff from a new investor, promptly quits. As Lou isn't around at the time, Rob and Buddy mind the store till his return. How much trouble can Rob and Buddy get into serving customers in a shoe store? Irving Bacon, Jane Dulo and Amzie Strickland appear as customers. |||||||
| 117 | 23 | "Girls Will Be Boys" | Jerry Paris | Jerry Belson and Garry Marshall | March 3, 1965 (1965-03-03) | 117 |
| Laura is concerned about Richie since he has been coming home from school with bruises. He tells Laura that a girl named Pricilla Darwell has been beating him up. After meeting Mr. Darwell (Bernard Fox) and sweet-as-sugar Pricilla who says she loves Richie and would never beat up on him, Rob can't believe that Pricilla is the bully. But an eyewitness confirms Richie's story. Rob and Laura have to decide what to do to stop Pricilla from beating up Richie while teaching Richie to do the right thing. Doris Singleton appears as Mrs. Darwell. |||||||
| 118 | 24 | "Bupkis" | Lee Philips | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | March 10, 1965 (1965-03-10) | 118 |
| Rob discovers he received no credit for a song, called Bupkis, that he co-wrote years ago. He wrote the lyrics to the song written by a colleague named Buzzy Potter back when the two were in the army. Buzzy came by a couple months ago and asked about peddling their old songs. Rob verbally gave him outright ownership of them. When Rob goes to confront Buzzy, he runs into another old army pal named 'Sticks' Mandalay (Greg Morris). Turns out that Sticks actually wrote the music to the song, with Buzzy contributing nothing accept his name on the music sheet. Tim Herbert appears as another Songwriter. Notes: Carl Reiner's voice is heard as a radio announcer in this episode. The song "Bupkis", only featured on record in the episode, is sung by pop duo Dick and Dee Dee |||||||
| 119 | 25 | "Your Home Sweet Home Is My Home" | Lee Philips | Howard Ostroff and Joan Darling | March 17, 1965 (1965-03-17) | 119 |
| To explain why he writes an annual $37.50 "friendship" check to Jerry, Rob tells Bert Steele (Eddie Ryder), his new accountant, the story of how he and Laura found their new house. After looking at countless homes, Rob and Laura find a home they really like, but it has a giant rock in the basement. Millie and Jerry practically talk them out of the house, only to buy it themselves later. When the house next door becomes available, it's decided that the Helpers would take that and Rob gets the house with the rock. The checks are to pay for water damage that the rock caused to Jerry's house. Stanley Adams appears as a Real Estate Agent. |||||||
| 120 | 26 | "Anthony Stone" | Jerry Paris | Joseph C. Cavella | March 24, 1965 (1965-03-24) | 120 |
| Sally falls head over heels over handsome, suave Anthony Stone, whom she met while on vacation in Jamaica. Laura finds out from Sally that Tony is a mortician. Rob and Buddy discover that he is already married. Before they can tell her, she decides she has had enough of him because of his temper. Rob and Buddy are free to tell her their secret. |||||||
| 121 | 27 | "Never Bathe on Saturday" | Jerry Paris | Carl Reiner | March 31, 1965 (1965-03-31) | 121 |
| Rob and Laura explain to Millie why they cut their romantic getaway so short. Laura got her toe stuck in a hotel bathtub faucet and Rob couldn't get through the locked bathroom door to free her. Rob has to contend with a wisecracking hotel staff, including a surly maid (Kathleen Freeman), a detective (Bernard Fox), a waiter (Johnny Silver) and a bellboy (Bill Idelson, outside of his usual role as Herman Glimscher.) It finally takes a gunshot to the bathroom door lock and an Engineer (Arthur Malet) to extricate Laura from her predicament. Note: This episode was colorized and shown on CBS-TV on December 14, 2018. |||||||
| 122 | 28 | "Show of Hands" | Theodore J. Flicker | Joseph C. Cavella | April 14, 1965 (1965-04-14) | 123 |
| While dying a costume for Richie's school play, Rob and Laura accidentally dye their hands black. This all happens right before they are to attend a dinner party to receive an award from the CIU: the committee of interracial understanding. Joel Fluellen appears as Roger Johnson, who presents Rob the award. |||||||
| 123 | 29 | "Baby Fat" | Jerry Paris | Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson | April 21, 1965 (1965-04-21) | 124 |
| Alan Brady asks Rob to doctor the play of noted playwright Harper Worthington Yates (Strother Martin) that Alan is supposed to perform on Broadway. Alan doesn't want Yates or anyone else to know. Rob is tired of writing in the shadows and wants credit for his help. Rob and Alan discuss it with Harper, who winds up hiring another writer to help. Sandy Kenyon appears as Lionel Dann, the director of the play. Richard Erdman appears as Buck Brown, clothing designer of the play. Note: This episode was colorized and aired on CBS on May 21, 2021. |||||||
| 124 | 30 | "One Hundred Terrible Hours" | Theodore J. Flicker | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | May 5, 1965 (1965-05-05) | 122 |
| Rob and Laura tell a magazine reporter (Dabbs Greer) about how Rob came to be the head writer of The Alan Brady Show. It was after he had stayed up for 100 straight hours for a disc jockey radio stunt. They broadcast from a department store window for the whole world to see Rob in action. Just as the new record is almost done, a disoriented Rob learned that Alan wanted to see him for an interview that evening. Nine hours later, Rob, who needed Laura's help in getting to the interview in Chicago, was even more disoriented as he met with Alan and Mel. Fred Clark appears as William Van Buren, station manager. Howard Wendell appears as Mr. Chambers, department store manager. |||||||
| 125 | 31 | "Br-rooom, Br-rooom" | Jerry Paris | Dale McRaven and Carl Kleinschmitt | May 12, 1965 (1965-05-12) | 125 |
| Rob gets a motorcycle, resulting in an argument with Laura. She thinks motorcycles are unsafe since she knew a boy in high school who got into a serious accident with one. She also knows that Rob is a klutz. As such, Rob reluctantly agrees to give it up. Rob feels entitled to one ride of freedom before selling it. Rob stops at a burger stand and runs into some other young bikers (Bob Random, Carl Reindel, Linda Marshall). Because of something the bikers did, Rob almost gets arrested. Sandy Kenyon appears as a Policeman. Johnny Silver appears as the Counter Man at the stand. |||||||
| 126 | 32 | "There's No Sale Like Wholesale" | Jerry Paris | Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson | May 26, 1965 (1965-05-26) | 126 |
| In the Season 4 finale, Buddy always says "I could've gotten it for you wholesale" but always after the fact, so Sally dares him to prove it. Rob gets more than he bargained for when he tries to buy Laura the $500 fur coat at wholesale price. Rob must go through a somewhat shady process with the wholesaler, Nunzio Vallani. The process includes fake names, fake orders, a pick-up location way out on Long Island and a non-return policy. But, Rob can't argue with the $250 price tag. Laura must pretend to be Nunzio's wife while picking it up, and upon returning home finds the coat is too big for her. Rob has to decide whether to tell Buddy what a rotten deal it ended up being. Jane Dulo appears as Opal Levinger, a saleswoman. |||||||

### Season 5 (1965–1966)

* Season 5 of The Dick Van Dyke Show consisted of 32 black-and-white half-hour episodes.
| No. overall | No. in season | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original release date | Prod. code |
| 127 | 1 | "Coast to Coast Big Mouth" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | September 15, 1965 (1965-09-15) | 128 |
| In the Season 5 premiere, Laura and Millie attend the filming of the nationally broadcast "Pay as You Go!" game show, whose host, Johnny Patrick, is renowned for getting his guests flustered. Laura accidentally reveals that Alan Brady is bald on live television. When Rob finds out, he and Laura just hope that by a miracle Alan doesn't find out. Later, sure that Alan knows what she said, Laura goes to apologize and hopes to protect Rob's job. Note: In 1997, TV Guide ranked this episode #8 on its list of the 100 Greatest Episodes. This episode was colorized and shown on CBS-TV on December 11, 2016 and again on July 3, 2020 to mark the passing of Carl Reiner. |||||||
| 128 | 2 | "A Farewell to Writing" | Jerry Paris | Fred Freeman and Lawrence J. Cohen | September 22, 1965 (1965-09-22) | 127 |
| Harvey Bellman, a guy Rob once encouraged to write, finally finishes his book and sends Rob and Laura a copy. Rob is now upset over never finishing his own book. Rob tries to continue writing his book, but finds himself distracted by anything and everything. He goes to a cabin lent to him by Harvey, but is only distracted even more and never gets anything more than a short dedication for the book done. Guy Raymond appears as Horace, the man that lets Rob into the cabin. |||||||
| 129 | 3 | "Uhny Uftz" | Jerry Paris | Carl Kleinschmitt and Dale McRaven | September 29, 1965 (1965-09-29) | 129 |
| During a late-night writing session for The Alan Brady Show, Rob thinks he sees a UFO, which utters the mysterious phrase, "Uhny Uftz." After an embarrassing attempt to report the saucer to the authorities, Rob speaks to his psychiatrist friend Dr. Phil Ridley (Ross Elliott). He convinces Rob it was just an illusion caused by fatigue. The puzzling phrase reappears during another late night writing session and this time Buddy hears it as well. They search the building and find a man named Karl (John Mylong). The flying saucer was a toy that he invented. Madge Blake appears as a lady who overhears Rob talking to Phil. |||||||
| 130 | 4 | "The Ugliest Dog in the World" | Lee Philips | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | October 6, 1965 (1965-10-06) | 130 |
| Rob tries to find a home for Horrible, a hideous dog that was supposed to appear on The Alan Brady Show before a slight change of plans. Nobody wants him, and Rob's allergies prevent him from keeping him. Laura suggests taking Horrible to a canine grooming salon where wonders might be worked. After some hesitation, the haughty Rex Fitzpaulding (Billy De Wolfe) of Poodle Palace accepts the challenge, and after cleaning up the dog he decides to keep him. George Tyne appears as Mr. Berkowitz of the pound. Michael Conrad appears as Mr. Mack, a customer at the pound. Florence Halop appears as Mrs. Fitzpaulding. |||||||
| 131 | 5 | "No Rice at My Wedding" | Lee Philips | Jerry Belson and Garry Marshall | October 13, 1965 (1965-10-13) | 131 |
| When Laura reads about Clark Rice (Van Williams) in the paper, she and Rob remember when Rob almost lost Laura to him. Laura was crowned "Bivouac Baby" at Camp Crowder, and is to be raffled off for a date. The winner of the raffle was Clark. Clark ended up being attracted to Laura, and Laura in turn admitted that she had a good time with Clark on their date. Laura decides to see Clark again. Rob tells Laura to make a choice. Allan Melvin appears as Sam Pomerantz. Johnny Silver appears as Humphrey Dundee, a friend of Clark's. |||||||
| 132 | 6 | "Draw Me a Pear" | Jerry Paris | Art Baer and Ben Joelson | October 20, 1965 (1965-10-20) | 132 |
| Rob is not thrilled about taking an evening art class with Laura. But, he ends up having a great time and is the star pupil of the class, which is taught by Valerie Ware (Ina Balin). Laura starts to believe that Valerie is interested in Rob as more than a student. Valerie wants to give Rob private lessons. Rob discovers that Laura was right about Valerie. Jackie Joseph, Dorothea Neumann and Jody Gilbert appear as art class students. |||||||
| 133 | 7 | "The Great Petrie Fortune" | Jerry Paris | Ernest Chambers and Jay Burton | October 27, 1965 (1965-10-27) | 133 |
| Rob and Laura attend the reading of the will left by Rob's elderly Uncle Hezekiah. Rob and Laura are shown a short film of Hezekiah informing Rob that he's left him his old roll-top desk. Hezekiah then sings him a chorus of "Me and My Shadow," which is supposed to be a clue to a "treasure" Hezekiah claims is hidden in the desk. Rob finds some old coins in the desk. He has Mr. Harlow (Forrest Lewis), a coin expert, look at them, but there's no treasure there. After a little more searching, Rob finds what his Uncle wanted him to have. Dan Tobin appears as Leland Ferguson, the lawyer. Elvia Allman, Herb Vigran, Amzie Strickland, Howard Wendell, and Tiny Brauer appear as people who attended the reading of the will. Note: The short film shown to Rob and Laura features Dick Van Dyke as Uncle Hezekiah. |||||||
| 134 | 8 | "Odd but True" | Jerry Paris | Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson | November 3, 1965 (1965-11-03) | 134 |
| When Freddie Helper connects the freckles on Rob's back with his marker they appear to form the Liberty Bell. Millie suggests that he submit it to "Odd but True", a column that discusses strange things. Rob goes to see Mr. Tetlow (James Millhollin) at the "Odd but True" office. He determines that some of the freckles were actually healed over scars. Hope Summers appears as a Lady with Dog. Rhoda Williams appears as the Receptionist. |||||||
| 135 | 9 | "Viva Petrie" | Jerry Paris | John Whedon | November 10, 1965 (1965-11-10) | 135 |
| Rob and Laura's former maid, Maria, telephones asking for a favor. Maria would like Rob to find a job for Manuel Rodriguez (Joby Baker), her matador boyfriend. When Manuel arrives at Rob house, he has the misconception - much like Maria did before him - that his job is as their live-in housekeeper. He tells them that he left Spain and bullfighting in disgrace as a coward and needs to regain his dignity before he can marry Maria. His personality doesn't seem that of the bullfighter he claims to be. After an accident at the house, Manuel reveals his true profession. |||||||
| 136 | 10 | "Go Tell the Birds and the Bees" | Jerry Paris | Rick Mittleman | November 17, 1965 (1965-11-17) | 136 |
| Richie has been giving his classmates lectures on the facts of life in school. They are fanciful stories that prompt Miss Reshovsky (Alberta Nelson), his teacher, to summon Rob and Laura to discuss the matter. After having a talk with Richie, the Petries feel they've handled the problem and that no more tales will be told. But soon they hear that the lectures are continuing. Finally, Rob and Laura sit Richie down to find out what's up with him. Peter Hobbs appears as Dr. Gormsley. |||||||
| 137 | 11 | "Body and Sol" | Jerry Paris | Carl Kleinschmitt and Dale McRaven | November 24, 1965 (1965-11-24) | 137 |
| Rob recalls for Buddy and Sally his days as "Pitter Patter Petrie," the Special Services' middleweight champion of Camp Crowder during his Army days. He had just finished his last required fight and promised Laura he wouldn't fight again. Rob's friend Sol (Allan Melvin) and Bernie Stern (Michael Conrad) of the Motor Pool set up a fight against the Motor Pool's middleweight champ Boom Boom Bailey. Because he promised Laura, he turns the fight down. Captain Worwick (Ed Peck) pretty much forces Rob to fight, because the camp thinks Rob's a coward. Rob eventually knocks Boom Boom out, but loses the fight because he hit him in his appendix, which is below the belt. Garry Marshall appears as the Referee. |||||||
| 138 | 12 | "See Rob Write, Write Rob Write" | Jerry Paris | Lawrence J. Cohen and Fred Freeman | December 8, 1965 (1965-12-08) | 138 |
| Laura has brought home a series of fantasy illustrations done by a friend. She wants Rob to approach his friend, Ollie Wheelright (John McGiver), a children's book publisher, to see if he would be interested in publishing the drawings. Laura also thinks that the drawings might be sold more easily if there was a story accompanying them. Laura writes the story. Rob likes her story, but feels that it needs a few edits and offers to make those changes. In the editing process, Rob changes Laura's story entirely, and she is not happy. Buddy and Sally believe that Ollie would be a good judge and that they should submit both stories for his consideration. Ollie passes on both stories, but likes the drawings. |||||||
| 139 | 13 | "You're Under Arrest" | Jerry Paris | Joseph C. Cavella | December 15, 1965 (1965-12-15) | 139 |
| Rob returns home late after a fight with Laura. Before coming in the house, Rob gets a black eye falling on Jerry and Millie's lawn jockey. The police call searching for someone who drove a car matching Rob's car's license plate number. That person allegedly assaulted an elderly woman at a bar. Having nothing to hide, Rob tries to cooperate with the police, but the more he does, the guiltier he looks and sounds. To make matters worse, Mrs. Fieldhouse, the victim, positively identifies him as one of her attackers. Buddy, Sally and the bartender are able to prove Rob's innocence. Sandy Kenyon appears as Detective Cox. Phillip Pine appears as Detective Norton. |||||||
| 140 | 14 | "Fifty-Two, Forty-Five or Work" | Jerry Paris | Rick Mittleman | December 29, 1965 (1965-12-29) | 140 |
| When the writers of The Alan Brady Show get the summer off, Rob remembers when the same thing happened years ago and he was in financial woe. Back then Laura figured Rob could collect unemployment insurance. Dawn McCracken (Reta Shaw) from the unemployment office was able to get him a writing job for a TV tube company. Just as Rob starts the job, a Joe Galardi (James Frawley) tells him they are all going on strike. A phone call from Mel solves Rob's problems. Jerry Hausner appears as Herbie Finkel. Dabbs Greer appears as Mr. Brumley from the TV tube company. |||||||
| 141 | 15 | "Who Stole My Watch?" | Jerry Paris | Joseph Bonaduce | January 5, 1966 (1966-01-05) | 141 |
| Laura gives Rob an expensive watch at a birthday party attended by several family friends. When the watch goes missing shortly after the party, Rob reluctantly concludes that one of his close friends may be a thief. After Rob reports the loss to his insurance company, they send Mr. Evans (Milton Frome) to investigate. He questions Rob's friends and his accusatory nature quickly makes everyone hate Rob and Laura. In the end, with Jerry, Millie, Buddy, Sally and Mel under suspicion, the culprit turns out to be the last one anybody suspected. |||||||
| 142 | 16 | "I Do Not Choose to Run" | Jerry Paris | Dale McRaven and Carl Kleinschmitt | January 19, 1966 (1966-01-19) | 143 |
| When he speaks out against the development of a new shopping center, Rob is asked to run for city councilman by his friend Doug (George Tyne) and businessman Mr. Howard (Philip Ober). Flattered, Rob considers it but soon finds his life under their complete management. Both he and Laura also discover that everyone in New Rochelle wants something from their local politicians, whether it be big, small or crazy. Rob has reasons he wants to run and also reasons not to. Arte Johnson appears as Bill Schermerhorn, campaign manager. Howard Wendell appears as John Gerber. Peter Brocco appears as Lionel, a citizen. (This plot is similar to episode 197 of The Andy Griffith Show, and episode 72 of The Partridge Family show). Note: Part 1 of 2 |||||||
| 143 | 17 | "The Making of a Councilman" | Jerry Paris | Carl Kleinschmitt and Dale McRaven | January 26, 1966 (1966-01-26) | 144 |
| While running for New Rochelle city councilman, Rob realizes his opponent Lincoln Goodheart (Wally Cox) is much more knowledgeable about local issues than he is. Rob's strengths: a winning smile and physical height. Does the public want a well-informed leader or a charming figurehead? Lorna Thayer appears as Samantha Meriweather, a reporter. (This storyline was also used in episode 197 of The Andy Griffith Show, and later in episode 72 of The Partridge Family Show). Note: Part 2 of 2 |||||||
| 144 | 18 | "The Curse of the Petrie People" | Jerry Paris | Dale McRaven and Carl Kleinschmitt | February 2, 1966 (1966-02-02) | 145 |
| Rob's parents (Tom Tully and Isabel Randolph) give Laura a Petrie family heirloom. It's a huge, garish gold brooch in the shape of the United States, with a jewel for each city where a male member of the family was born. Rob and Laura are told of the family curse. If a jewel in the brooch falls out, that family member dies. Laura later accidentally drops it in the garbage disposal. She tries to have it repaired before anyone notices. But, did Laura need to go to the trouble? Leon Belasco appears as Mr. Mark, the jeweler. |||||||
| 145 | 19 | "The Bottom of Mel Cooley's Heart" | Jerry Paris | John Whedon | February 9, 1966 (1966-02-09) | 146 |
| Rob encourages Mel Cooley to stand up to Alan Brady after the TV star yells at the producer for a tiny mistake, but Mel is promptly fired. Rob, Sally and Buddy try to figure out how else they can support Mel in this battle without jeopardizing their own jobs. They convince Alan that Mel's annoying traits are actually his positives. Note: This episode was colorized and aired on CBS on May 21, 2021. |||||||
| 146 | 20 | "Remember the Alimony" | Jerry Paris | Dale McRaven and Carl Kleinschmitt | February 16, 1966 (1966-02-16) | 147 |
| During a visit from Buddy and Sally, Rob and Laura explain how they made up divorce papers while on a frustrating trip to Mexico just three months into their marriage. Rob was stationed in a small Texas border town. Rob and Laura decide to take a romantic getaway across the border into El Diablo, Mexico. What they didn't know was that El Diablo was the place were people went to get a quick and cheap divorce. The problems Rob and Laura faced there were heightened by a flamenco dancer named Maxine, who Rob dances with an entire evening. During an argument at the hotel, Rob and Laura told their story to Juan (Bernie Kopell), the lawyer who provides divorces. Don Diamond appears as Gonzales, the Hotel Manager. José Nieto appears as a Mariachio. |||||||
| 147 | 21 | "Dear Sally Rogers" | Richard Erdman | Ronald Axe | February 23, 1966 (1966-02-23) | 148 |
| Sally goes on The Stevie Parsons Show to make a gag request for a husband that results in hundreds in letters. Stevie (Richard Schaal) asks Rob to pick one of those letters without Sally's knowledge. Stevie plans to contact the man and introduce him to Sally live on the air. Rob must decide if he will go along with the stunt. And if he does, will he pick the one letter that seemed the most sincere? Rob does and everyone is quite surprised to find out who the man is. |||||||
| 148 | 22 | "Buddy Sorrell: Man and Boy" | Richard Erdman | Ben Joelson and Art Baer | March 2, 1966 (1966-03-02) | 149 |
| Buddy begins begging off early from work and making unusual phone calls from the office. Rob and Sally wonder if Buddy is seeing a psychiatrist or having an affair. But he's really just keeping appointments to prepare for his bar mitzvah. Ed Peck appears as Leon, the Rabbi. Pippa Scott appears as Dorothy, Leon's wife. |||||||
| 149 | 23 | "Bad Reception in Albany" | Jerry Paris | Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson | March 9, 1966 (1966-03-09) | 142 |
| At an Albany hotel filled with lodge-member revelers where Laura's cousin is getting married, Rob finds it hard to find a TV set to watch a fashion show for Alan Brady. Rob hears the room across from his has the TV on to the show. Mrs. Henderson let's him watch the show. Wendell Henderson (Robert Nichols) comes back, and thinking the worst, ruins Rob's tux. Rob then has to wear a suit from Wendell with fur lapels to the wedding. Tom D'Andrea appears as Forrest Gilly, the TV repairman. Tiny Brauer and Johnny Haymer appear as hotel guests. Bert Remsen appears as a Bartender. |||||||
| 150 | 24 | "Talk to the Snail" | Jerry Paris | Jerry Belson and Garry Marshall | March 16, 1966 (1966-03-16) | 151 |
| When Rob, Sally and Buddy have to dig through building trash containers for a lost script, Rob finds a network memo to Alan Brady saying he must fire one writer. Rather than be split up, they decide seek a new job together. The only job open is working for ventriloquist Claude Wilbur's (Paul Winchell) show featuring puppets, the star puppet being Jellybean the Snail. Rob isn't sure they should accept it. Everything changes once Alan gets wind of their action. Turns out that Alan never intended to fire anyone. He gets one of those memos every month. Henry Gibson appears as Doug Bedlork, Sally's date. |||||||
| 151 | 25 | "A Day in the Life of Alan Brady" | Jerry Paris | Joseph Bonaduce | April 6, 1966 (1966-04-06) | 152 |
| The entire office, including the writers' room, gets a face-lift in preparation for a film crew shooting a falsified television documentary on Alan's life. Alan Brady wants to stage an event with Rob to make himself look good, so he hosts an anniversary party for the Helpers at the Petrie house. Millie, who really doesn't like Alan, wants the film crew to come anyway to give her and Jerry and all their loving friends (including her flirtatious cousin Blanche (Joyce Jameson) and Blanche's jealous lush of a husband Hi) national television exposure, but on her own terms. Caught in the middle, Rob and Laura wonder how to salvage what has the potential of being a disastrous evening for all concerned. Eddie Paskey appears as a Party Guest. |||||||
| 152 | 26 | "Obnoxious, Offensive, Egomaniac, Etc." | Jerry Paris | Carl Kleinschmitt and Dale McRaven | April 13, 1966 (1966-04-13) | 153 |
| Just as Laura and the staff are about to leave the office for a play (thanks to tickets given them by Alan Brady), Sally realizes they've forgotten to ink out the nasty comments about Alan in the current week's finished script. They feel they have no other choice but to try and break into Alan's office and retrieve the script, or else get fired after Alan reads it. They discover that Mel sent the script to Alan's home. Now the gang, including Mel, head for Alan's house. Once they get into Alan's house, they discover him there and he has already read the script. However, Mel has a way to prevent them all getting fired. Forrest Lewis appears as Mac the night watchman. |||||||
| 153 | 27 | "The Man from My Uncle" | Jerry Paris | Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson | April 20, 1966 (1966-04-20) | 154 |
| Mr. Phillips (Biff Elliot), a federal agent, stops by wanting to use the Petrie house as a stakeout post to watch one of their neighbors, Mr. Gerard (Steven Geray). It isn't Mr. Gerard they are actually after, but his criminal nephew. Laura doesn't like the idea, but Rob thrives on the idea of a little excitement. They agree to let them use the house, and Agent Harry Bond (Godfrey Cambridge) is sent. Rob can't help but get in Harry's way as he tries to act like a spy. When it seems something might be happening at Gerard's house, Rob may have to get involved in the surveillance, as Harry is suffering not only from over-exposure to Rob, but a massive toothache. |||||||
| 154 | 28 | "You Ought to Be in Pictures" | Jerry Paris | Jack Winter | April 27, 1966 (1966-04-27) | 155 |
| Leslie Merkle (Michael Constantine), an old army buddy of Rob's, casts him in the lead of his latest movie. Rob meets Lucianna Mazetta, a stunningly attractive woman, that he is to do a love scene with. During the filming, Rob is having a hard time playing his part because Laura is there watching him. But, even with Laura gone, Rob's acting is horrible. |||||||
| 155 | 29 | "Love Thy Other Neighbor" | Jerry Paris | Dale McRaven and Carl Kleinschmitt | May 4, 1966 (1966-05-04) | 156 |
| A new neighbor turns out to be Laura's old school chum Mary Jane Staggs. Feeling slighted and jealous of Mary Jane's friendship with Laura, Millie tries to get Jerry to feel the same way about Rob's new friendship with Fred Staggs (Joby Baker). Jerry refuses to until he finds out that Rob, having four free tickets to a new Broadway show, gave the two extras to Fred and Mary Jane. Rob and Laura find a way for the Helpers to become friends with the Staggs. But, now Rob and Laura feel left out. The Petries and the Helpers have to decide what constitutes true friendship. |||||||
| 156 | 30 | "Long Night's Journey into Day" | Jerry Paris | Jerry Belson and Garry Marshall | May 11, 1966 (1966-05-11) | 150 |
| Because she has a cold and can't go, Laura tries to spend the night alone while her family and the Helpers are on a fishing trip. She is spooked by odd noises and doors that seem to open by themselves. Millie's return to keep her company makes things worse. Rob starts to feel sick and he decides to come home. The power goes out and when Rob enters the house, Laura and Millie panic even more. |||||||
| 157 | 31 | "The Gunslinger" | Jerry Paris | Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | May 25, 1966 (1966-05-25) | 158 |
| While Rob is under anesthesia, he dreams of being in a western setting with his family and friends, going up against "Big Bad Brady". Rob hears from Killer Cooley that Big Bad Brady is coming to town and wants to see a show. He vows to kill anyone associated with it if he doesn't like it, but if the show doesn't go on, he'll just kill Rob instead. Rob can't convince the cowboys of the town to perform, so he must decide whether to face Big Bad Brady or go on the run. As Sheriff Rob resolves to make a stand, wife Laura thinks she has the answer to save him. But, when that doesn't work, Rob has to shoot it out with Brady. Allan Melvin appears as a gun salesman. Note: Dick Van Dyke's children Barry and Stacy, along with Garry Marshall and other writers from the show and their families, appear as background characters in this episode. This episode was the last episode of the series to be filmed. |||||||
| 158 | 32 | "The Last Chapter" | Jerry Paris and John Rich | Carl Reiner, Bill Persky and Sam Denoff | June 1, 1966 (1966-06-01) | 157 |
| In the series finale, Rob finishes his first book called Untitled: A Series of Terribly Important Events in the Fairly Unimportant Life of Robert S. Petrie. As Laura starts reading, she is excited to learn that the book is the story of their life from marriage proposal to a point shortly after Richie's birth. She begins to reminisce about the situations written. Regardless of Laura's reaction, Rob wonders about the reaction of the publisher to whom he sent the manuscript. The publisher hates it, but Alan decides to buy the rights to the manuscript and turn it into a TV series with him as the star. Note: The series finale features clips from previous episodes: Season 2's "The Attempted Marriage", Season 1's "Where Did I Come From", and Season 3's "That's My Boy?!". |||||||