# The Diamond Brothers: South by South East

South by South East is a 1991 British six-part detective series broadcast on ITV written and directed by Anthony Horowitz and starring Dursley McLinden, Colin Dale and Monique van de Ven. It is based on, or was novelised into, the third book of The Diamond Brothers series, South by South East (1991). The series was broadcast as part of the CITV block on Tuesday afternoons at around 4:30pm. The plot and title is a spoof of Alfred Hitchcock's 1959 film, North by Northwest.

## Synopsis

Tim Diamond, the world's most incompetent private detective, lives in a flat above his office in Camden Town with his teenage brother Nick. One day, a mysterious client, by the name of Jake McGuffin, enters their office, and explains that he is an MI6 agent, working with the Dutch secret service to stop a contract-killer called Charon from murdering a Russian diplomat and re-starting The Cold War. He claims that he's being chased by two henchmen and needs to make a call. Since their phone had been cut off, he offers Tim fifty pounds for his overcoat so that he can make it to a telephone box without being seen.
Later on, Nick, the sharper of the two brothers, spots that McGuffin had left his hotel room key on the desk. The two brothers rush down the alley to the telephone box and find McGuffin has been shot. As a loud train passes on the flyover, McGuffin mutters his final words to Tim.
Their investigation into Charon leads them wanted by the police for armed bank robbery, handcuffed and held at gunpoint by a guesthouse owner, machine-gunned by a bi-plane in a cornfield, chased by two armed henchmen and being hunted by the world's deadliest assassin.

## Production

South by South East was intended as a sequel to the 1988 film Just Ask for Diamond, based on the first Diamond Brothers novel published two years prior, The Falcon's Malteser (1986). There had been a second novel published the following year, Public Enemy Number Two (1987), however it was considered that some of the plot was too violent and impractical to film. It is not clear whether the series is a direct adaptation of the book South by South-East (1991), or vice versa. The series was produced by Red Rooster Films and IDTV, being sponsored by TVS and AVRO.
Ron Burrage, a Hitchcock lookalike, made an inconspicuous appearances in every episode. The exterior of Tim's office and flat was filmed above Chalk Farm station on The London Underground, near Camden Town. In a Radio Times article, Jenny Agutter stated she was invited to play her role, as she had given a 'very favourable review' of Just Ask For Diamond.

## Distribution

South by South East was neither released on home video nor rebroadcast after it aired in 1991. Evidence of the series was confirmed by a BFI record of the series as well as a brief mention from Horowitz in the third edition of The Falcon's Malteser. It was considered lost media until images were found online, and later videos began to surface on YouTube. Perhaps why it was never shown again was the poor direction of the series; in an online article of The Telegraph Horowitz stated, “I was a hopeless director, I was no good at all.”

## Episode list

| No. | Title | Written by | Original release date |
| 1 | "McGuffin" | Anthony Horowitz | 26 March 1991 (1991-03-26) |
| The two brothers are visited by an MI6 agent who tells them of a Dutch agent, 'eighty-six' and a nine-fingered assassin, Charon, who plans to kill a Russian diplomat on British soil. When the two brothers find him dying in a telephone box and hear his last words – "South by south-east". They go to the police and meet DCI Snape and his assistant, Boyle, but by the time they return, the telephone box and the body are gone. After a night being locked up for wasting police time, the brothers investigate his hotel-room. When two men begin searching the room, they escape the hotel and get into a taxi. ||||
| 2 | "Secret Intelligence" | Anthony Horowitz | 2 April 1991 (1991-04-02) |
| The cab, drives them to an underground base and they the head of MI6, Mr. Waverly, who explains about Charon's plan to kill Boris Kusenov, a Russian who is flying to England to buy a painting. The two brothers are then gassed and later, wake up in the office. They head to Tim's job interview at a bank, where a bomb planted in Tim's briefcase goes off. Wanted for armed robbery, they run off. ||||
| 3 | "Strangers on a Chain" | Anthony Horowitz | 9 April 1991 (1991-04-09) |
| On the run, they stay the night in a guesthouse and the next day visit a ticket office and find out that the 'Amstel Ijsbaan', a word written on McGuffin's matchbook, is an ice-rink in Amsterdam. When they get back, the residents see the brothers on the news and they end up being handcuffed and held a gunpoint by the manager. The police arrive, but they escape and make their way to Victoria station. Without time to spare, they jump on a train to Dover and befriend a Dutch woman, Charlotte van Dam. ||||
| 4 | "Eightysix" | Anthony Horowitz | 16 April 1991 (1991-04-16) |
| To avoid the police blockade at Dover, the two brothers jump from the train and walk to Dover. They arrive in Amsterdam and go to the 'Amstel Ijsbaan', an ice rink on McGuffin's matchbook. Here, find agent 'eighty-six' and speak to him in the café, he tells them about the 'Villa de Winter' – Charon's countryside house. The brothers speak to Charlotte by telephone and she tells them to meet her in the Flevoland. They take the bus there and spot a bi-plane flies down and opens fire at them. ||||
| 5 | "The Winter House" | Anthony Horowitz | 23 April 1991 (1991-04-23) |
| They hide in a cornfield and the plane flies off. Nick has been injured, so they go to a nearby vet. After removing the bullet and cleaning the wound, Dr. Bloem gives them directions to the 'Villa de Winter'. They catch a glimpse of Charon. Tim sets off the alarm and they are chased by two henchmen, Scarface and Ugly. They hide in a nearby windmill and later, make their way to Amsterdam station. When they spot Charlotte, Scarface and Ugly arrive. They all split off and Nick runs into a nearby theatre. To find safety, he volunteers to for a magic box but the magician is replaced by Scarface. ||||
| 6 | "The Tsar's Feast" | Anthony Horowitz | 30 April 1991 (1991-04-30) |
| Scarface tries to kill Nick but MI6 agents burst in and arrest him. The two brothers return to England where Mr. Waverly meets them and clears them of their charges. When they get back to the office, Nick realises that Charon has swapped the auctioneer's hammer for a trigger to a bomb. They rush to Sotheby's auction house as bidding is about to end. They disrupt the auction and Boyle ends up running into the painting, trying to arrest Nick. Later on, Charlotte arrives at their office and Nick works out that she is Charon, however MI6 agents burst in, once more, and arrest her. ||||

## Cast

* Dursley McLinden – Tim Diamond
* Colin Dale – Nick Diamond
* Monique van de Ven – Charon
* Jenny Agutter – Bank Manager
* Anna Massey – Mrs. Bodega
* Michael Gough – Mr. Waverly
* Ron Burrage – Discreet appearance by
* Michael Feast – Chief Inspector Snape
* Gordon Winter – Boyle
* Michael Howe – Jake McGuffin
* Leo Wringer – Ed
* Tim Faulkner – Taxi Driver (Red)
* Frans de Wit – Bulldog
* Rodney Beddal – Scarface
* Boris Isarov – Boris Kusenov
* David Goudge – Ted
* Ed Bauer – Mr. Marvano
* John Bluthal – Mr. Webber
* Peter Copley – Mr. Ferguson
* Nigel Pegram – Police Commissioner
* Edward Hibbert – Sotheby's Assistant
* Marcia Warren – Mrs. Jackson
* Jonathan Coleman – Mr. Blondini
* Thom Hoffman – Hugo Rushmore
* Jos Fluhr – Dr. Monika Bloem
* John Quentin – Auctioneer
* Sally Faber – Television reporter