# The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything

The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything is a collection of television comedy sketches, produced in 1999, broadcast in two parts on 2 and 4 January 2000 on BBC One. Based on well-known historical events, it took its title and concept from the 1969 London Weekend Television series The Complete and Utter History of Britain.

## Cast
### The Ages of Man

A version of the class sketch which had previously been broadcast as part of the BBC Millennium programme on 31 December 1999.
* Ronnie Barker – Renaissance Man
* Ronnie Corbett – Medieval Man
* Stephen Fry – Modern Man

### 1066

The Battle of Hastings staged and described in the style of a modern football match, a version of a sketch from The Complete and Utter History of Britain.
* Clive Anderson – Archbishop of Canterbury
* Ray Clemence – Ray Clemence the Younger
* George Cohen – Master George Cohen
* James Fleet – William of Normandy
* Archie Gemmill – Archie Gemmill, currently in exile
* David Gower – Lord Gower
* Ricky Grover – Aberforth
* Alan Hansen – Lord Alan Hansen
* Geoff Hurst – Sir Geoffrey of Hurst
* Gary Lineker – Lord Gary Lineker
* Rory McGrath – King Harold II
* Peter Osgood – Squire Peter Osgoode
* Martin Peters – Lord Martin Peters
* Steve Punt – French soldier
* Peter Shilton – Peter of Shilton
* Rupert Vansittart – Bishop of Cardiff

### Geordie of the Antarctic

A parody of Scott of the Antarctic.
* Amanda Holden – Geordie's girlfriend
* Bob Mortimer – Geordie
* Vic Reeves – Captain Scott

### The First Spin Doctor

* Martin Clunes – King Henry V
* Angus Deayton – Lord Mandelson
* Martin Trenaman

### Treaty of Westphalia

* Patrick Barlow – Advisor
* Robert Bathurst – English Ambassador
* James Dreyfus – Swedish Ambassador
* Stephen Fry – Ambassador
* Hugh Laurie – French Ambassador

### Marriage Guidance

* Brian Blessed – King Henry VIII
* Jack Dee – Marriage guidance counsellor
* Julia Sawalha – Catherine Parr

### The Nice-But-Dim Family

* Adam Blackwood – Norman
* Richard Briers – Highway robbery victim
* Tim Brooke-Taylor – Earl of Sandwich
* Peter Davison – Duke of Wellington
* Harry Enfield – Tim Norse-But-Dim / Sir Timothy Nice-Butte D'imme / Sir Timothy the Lionbrain / Dim Turpin / Major-General Sir Timothy Nice-But-Dim / Midshipman Nice-But-Dim
* Jessica Stevenson – Woman with Black Death Victim
* Natasha Little – Lady Lionbrain
* Spike Milligan – Admiral Lord Nelson
* Nigel Planer – Lord Cardigan
* Steve Punt – Lord Tampax
* Barbara Windsor – Highway robbery victim

### Philosophy of a Hairdresser

* Thora Hird – Ida
* Victoria Wood – Moira

### Body Zone

* Joan Bakewell – Herself
* Dawn French – Egg
* Jennifer Saunders – Egg

### A Victorian Evening

* James Fleet – Mr Parsons
* Geraldine McNulty – Mrs Richards
* Trevor Peacock – Colonel
* Caroline Quentin – Lady Butterworth

### Explorers Explorers Explorers

* Robert Bathurst – Francis Drake
* Peter Davison – Ferdinand Magellan
* Angus Deayton – Sir Walter Raleigh

### Holby Village Hospital

* Jack Dee – Dr Barber
* Gary Olsen – Mr Baker

### Early British Comedy

* Matthew Ashforde – Reginald
* Helena Bonham Carter – Lily
* Neil Morrissey – Director
* Caroline Quentin – Marcia Bournemouth
* Richard Wilson – Monty DeLauncy

### When Columbo discovered America

* Gareth Hale – Christopher Columbo
* Norman Pace – King Ferdinand

### Looking Forwards

* Lenny Henry – Deakus
* Clive Mantle – Dr Mike Barrat