# List of The Colbert Report episodes (2013)

This is a list of episodes for The Colbert Report in 2013.

## 2013
### January

| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
| 1,131 | TBA | Jimmy Wales | It's 2013. Suck it Mayans. | January 7 | 9039 |
| Republicans agree to tax the wealthy, a coin solves the debt ceiling debate, Bill O'Reilly insults Asians, and Jimmy Wales shares Wikipedia's next steps. ||||||
| 1,132 | TBA | Chris Kluwe | Jimmy Kimmel starts his new 11:35 time slot tonight, but since he's my direct competition I refuse to mention him. | January 8 | 9040 |
| The Forever Stamp skyrockets in value, blood transfusions restore youthfulness, the Senate questions Zero Dark Thirty, and Chris Kluwe defends same-sex marriage. ||||||
| 1,133 | TBA | Neil Shubin | 2012 was the hottest year on record. We think, the record book burst into flames. | January 9 | 9041 |
| Idaho builds a firearms village, the NRA solves gun violence with more guns, wheat addiction spirals, and Neil Shubin explores humans' shared history with rocks. ||||||
| 1,134 | TBA | Ben Gibbard | N/A | January 10 | 9042 |
| A man makes love to a couch, Obama flaunts his testosterone-filled Cabinet, Kevin Garnett hassles Carmelo Anthony, and musician Ben Gibbard grows up. ||||||
| 1,135 | TBA | Piers Morgan | N/A | January 14 | 9043 |
| Joe Biden develops gun law recommendations, Ted Nugent references Rosa Parks, a nonprofit disputes Vitaminwater, and Piers Morgan talks gun control. ||||||
| 1,136 | TBA | Jared Diamond | A shipment of 18 human heads showed up at O'Hare International Airport, when I clearly said I was flying to Omaha. | January 15 | 9044 |
| Lance Armstrong spends hours with Oprah, Stephen runs Extra Special Report on Florida's mystery monkey, and Jared Diamond examines traditional New Guinea Culture. ||||||
| 1,137 | TBA | Tom Brokaw | A Utah smoothie shop is charging an extra fee to liberal customers. That is really gotta sting for Utah's liberal. | January 16 | 9045 |
| HSBC launders cartel money, Matt Taibbi chews out big banks, Pat Robertson educates "slatternly" wives, and Tom Brokaw tells the plight of second presidential terms. ||||||
| 1,138 | "United We Standoff" | Akhil Reed Amar | N/A | January 17 | 9046 |
| Subway cons consumers, President Obama tightens gun control, Megyn Kelly reveals her porn name, and Akhil Reed Amar shares his book, "America's Unwritten Constitution." ||||||
| 1,139 | TBA | Ta-Nehisi Coates | Atari has filed for bankruptcy today, but they're thinking about just taking it out, blowin' on it and seeing if it'll work again. | January 21 | 9047 |
| Obama launches the Presidential Pride Parade, Kate Middleton contaminates America, and Ta-Nehisi Coates reflects on Obama's second inauguration. ||||||
| 1,140 | "Win, Lose, or Redraw" | Kathryn Bigelow | N/A | January 22 | 9048 |
| Obama obscures America's hopelessness in his speech, Republicans pursue advanced redistricting, Dustin Hoffman shrinks his cast, and Kathryn Bigelow talks Zero Dark Thirty. ||||||
| 1,141 | TBA | Sally Field | N/A | January 23 | 9049 |
| Beyonce-Gate riles the media, Ayn Rand admirers find love, Virginia Republicans surprise Democrats with new districts, and Sally Field describes her character in Lincoln. ||||||
| 1,142 | TBA | Tavi Gevinson | N/A | January 24 | 9050 |
| France sends troops into Mali, Edward Berenson outlines French martial history, Hillary Clinton answers questions about Benghazi, and Tavi Gevinson chats about "Rookie." ||||||
| 1,143 | "The New Abnormal" | Michael Shellenberger | Axe Body Spray has announced a contest that will send the winner to space, still not far enough to get away from the smell. | January 28 | 9051 |
| The TSA abandons nude scanners, Australia and conservatives cope with climate change, North Korea goes after America, and Michael Shellenberger debates energy sources. ||||||
| 1,144 | TBA | George Saunders | Eating lunch earlier can help you lose weight. That's why I always eat tomorrow's lunch tonight. | January 29 | 9052 |
| Iran launches a monkey into space, states work to nullify Obama's gun grab, Cliff Sloan explains supreme law, Gitmo stays open, and George Saunders boasts about short stories. ||||||
| 1,145 | "It Gets Worse" | Bill Gates | The truth will set you free. So convicted murderers, turn off your TVs now. | January 30 | 9053 |
| Gay men stress less, Paul Clement defends DOMA in court, the KKK drops its racist message, and Bill Gates shares global health updates. ||||||
| 1,146 | TBA | Matthew Guerrieri | N/A | January 31 | 9054 |
| Super Bowl ads release teasers, Gatorade does away with BVO, a clever crow uses utensils, and Matthew Guerrieri explores Beethoven's cultural impact. ||||||

### February

| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
| 1,147 | TBA | Sonia Sotomayor | Fidel Castro made his first public appearance in three years, then he saw his shadow, so fifty more years of communism! | February 4 | 9055 |
| A blackout stalls the Super Bowl, Senate members tackle immigration reform, Barack Obama claims to enjoy skeet shooting, and Justice Sonia Sotomayor details My Beloved World. ||||||
| 1,148 | TBA | Julie Andrews | A math professor has discovered a new seventeen million digit prime number. His other discovery, he is very lonely. | February 5 | 9056 |
| A parking lot covers up royal remains, CBS brings unemployment to reality TV, Californians thank a hatchet-armed hitchhiker, and Julie Andrews responds to kids' book critics. ||||||
| 1,149 | TBA | Lawrence Wright | Home Depot is going to hire 80,000 new workers for the spring. You know where they can find some cheap labor? In their parking lot. | February 6 | 9057 |
| Lobbyists try to save the penny, Elizabeth Colbert-Busch takes on 16 GOP candidates, and Lawrence Wright confirms abuse within the Church of Scientology. ||||||
| 1,150 | TBA | Benh Zeitlin | A new poll says that Fox News is both the most trusted name and the least trusted name in the news. See? They do report both sides of the story. | February 7 | 9058 |
| A snowstorm slams the Northeast, Senator Stacey Campfield homes in on kids' sexuality, Facebook promotes hookups, and Benh Zeitlin explores Louisiana's Bathtub country. ||||||
| 1,151 | TBA | Garry Wills | N/A | February 11 | 9059 |
| The Bush family gets hacked, Pope Benedict becomes the first pope to resign in 717 years, Father Jim Martin details papal appointment, and Garry Wills talks priests. ||||||
| 1,152 | TBA | Roger Hodge | Ted Nugent will attend The State of The Union tonight, or as deer call it, the greatest night of their lives. | February 12 | 9060 |
| The GOP holds a conference to self-reflect, Karl Rove targets Tea Party movement, Steven Seagal trains volunteer gun posses, and Roger Hodge touts Southern literature. ||||||
| 1,153 | TBA | Dave Grohl | N/A | February 13 | 9061 |
| President Obama focuses on the middle class and infrastructure, Marco Rubio suffers from dry mouth, and Dave Grohl relives rock 'n' roll history. ||||||
| 1,154 | TBA | Gavin Newsom | N/A | February 14 | 9062 |
| A fertility feast leads to Valentine's Day, the Obama administration targets S&P, and "Citizenville" author Gavin Newsom brings government into the digital age. ||||||
| 1,155 | TBA | Emily Bazelon | N/A | February 19 | 9063 |
| A meteor streaks over Russia, Detroit gleans a libertarian investor, Obama goes golfing with Tiger Woods, and Emily Bazelon explores the culture of bullying. ||||||
| 1,156 | TBA | David Goldhill | N/A | February 20 | 9064 |
| The UK responds to a horse meat scare, Alexi Lalas assesses soccer match fixing, Norway celebrates firewood, and David Goldhill critiques health insurance. ||||||
| 1,157 | TBA | Lil Buck | N/A | February 21 | 9065 |
| A rumor links Chuck Hagel to a made-up Islamic group, for-profit incarceration teams up with football, MTV cons BET Twitter fans, and Lil Buck explains jookin'. ||||||
| 1,158 | "Silent But Deadly" | Simon Garfield | Cuban president Raúl Castro says he'll retire in five years. Don't believe him Conan. | February 25 | 9066 |
| Michelle Obama crashes the Oscars, the CDC researches gun violence, sex scandal gossip plagues the Vatican, and Simon Garfield endorses handmade maps. ||||||
| 1,159 | TBA | Michio Kaku | Iceland is considering a ban on internet porn. Now... there is nothing to do in Iceland. | February 26 | 9067 |
| Pope Benedict shares the Vatican with his successor, Jeremy Bird disrupts the natural order in Texas, Al Qaeda evades drone attacks, and Michio Kaku tracks asteroid paths. ||||||
| 1,160 | TBA | Paola Antonelli | It's Chuck Hagel's first day as Secretary of Defense. Tomorrow we start the two-month confirmation process for his second day of work. | February 27 | 9068 |
| Stephen endorses Halls cough drops, the government bugs Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's trial, John Kerry makes a case for dimwits, and Paola Antonelli shares the future of design. ||||||
| 1,161 | TBA | Jon Favreau | Girls Gone Wild has filed for bankruptcy. Maybe those girls should have Gone Business School. | February 28 | 9069 |
| Pat Robertson confirms that demons occupy garments, shops sell Pope Benedict XVI memorabilia, federal spending cuts loom, and Jon Favreau describes speech writing methods. ||||||

### March

| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
| 1,162 | TBA | Kirk Bloodsworth | N/A | March 4 | 9070 |
| Obama confuses Star Wars with Star Trek, Stephen investigates scallop gonad research, Texas reconsiders gun training, and Kirk Bloodsworth opposes the death penalty. ||||||
| 1,163 | TBA | James Franco | Queen Elizabeth has been released from the hospital for what they say is a stomach bug. Either that, or there's another Royal Baby on the way. | March 5 | 9071 |
| Hugo Chavez passes away, Obama travels to Israel, Michael Oren discusses Iran, married couples retreat to Mars, and James Franco talks "Oz." ||||||
| 1,164 | TBA | Brendan O'Connell | N/A | March 6 | 9072 |
| The media introduces "Snowquester," Alabama calls the Voting Rights Act into question, Michael Bloomberg bans soda deliveries, and Wal-Mart inspires Brendan O'Connell. ||||||
| 1,165 | TBA | John Sexton | N/A | March 7 | 9073 |
| Rand Paul talks for 13 hours, North Korea creates an ominous music video, The Bachelor incites emotionally charged staring, and John Sexton compares baseball and religion. ||||||
| 1,166 | TBA | Junot Diaz | N/A | March 25 | 9074 |
| The Vatican welcomes Pope Francis, Roma Downey stars in The Bible, Trevor Potter memorializes Ham Rove, and Junot Diaz shares the Freedom University project. ||||||
| 1,167 | "Narcicitizenship" | Eric Topol | N/A | March 26 | 9075 |
| Republicans contemplate a Celebrity Task Force, Senator Rob Portman flip-flops on gay marriage, and Eric Topol shares his book, "The Creative Destruction of Medicine." ||||||
| 1,168 | TBA | Carl Edgar Blake II | Jon Hamm is sick of everyone talking about his giant penis, so media... you can start talking about mine. | March 27 | 9076 |
| Papa Bear reassess gay marriage, scientists study Facebook "Likes," Tennessee lawmakers mistrust a mop sink, and Carl Edgar Blake II shows off his pigs. ||||||
| 1,169 | TBA | Robert Lustig | N/A | March 28 | 9077 |
| Same-sex marriage divides the Supreme Court, Emily Bazelon explains Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act, and Robert Lustig warns against sugar. ||||||

### April

| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
| 1,170 | TBA | Sigourney Weaver | This is NOT The Colbert Report... April Fools... This is The Colbert Report. | April 1 | 9078 |
| Google pays tribute to Cesar Chavez, Pope Francis breaks a New Testament tradition, Tennessee uses a health care lottery, and Sigourney Weaver talks theater. ||||||
| 1,171 | TBA | Jim McGreevey | N/A | April 2 | 9079 |
| Sue Everhart warns of gay marriage fraud, Victor Cha dissects North Korea's bomb threats, Florida plans to outlaw bongs, and Jim McGreevey advocates in-prison rehab. ||||||
| 1,172 | TBA | A.C. Grayling | N/A | April 3 | 9080 |
| Mark Sanford runs against Elizabeth Colbert Busch, Louie Gohmert compares gun control to bestiality, the GOP surveys young people, and A.C. Grayling talks God and reason. ||||||
| 1,173 | TBA | Francis Collins | The Queen of England just got a 7.5 million dollar raise. It was that or lose her to the Miami Heat. | April 4 | 9081 |
| An Exxon pipeline bursts in Arkansas, Jeremy Irons compares gay marriage to incest, and NIH Director Francis Collins explains Obama's BRAIN Initiative. ||||||
| 1,174 | TBA | Bill Clinton | N/A | April 8 | 9082 |
| At the Clinton Global Initiative University Meeting, President Bill Clinton discusses foreign aid, poverty, TED Talks, Twitter and the Colbert Galactic Initiative. ||||||
| 1,175 | TBA | Charlie LeDuff | Scientists discovered a new tarantula that's the size of a human face. Correction, the size of a screaming human face. | April 9 | 9083 |
| Stephen attends the Clinton Global Initiative University Exchange, Exxon sweeps oil into storm drains, and Charlie LeDuff shares his book, "Detroit: An American Autopsy." ||||||
| 1,176 | TBA | Shane Smith | N/A | April 10 | 9084 |
| The Navy builds a laser missile, Senate Republicans give in to gun control, Anthony Weiner ponders the mayoral race, and VICE cofounder Shane Smith talks storytelling. ||||||
| 1,177 | TBA | Cass Sunstein | N/A | April 11 | 9085 |
| NASA develops an asteroid lasso, Nick Gillespie talks about pot legalization, New York City targets filthy Times Square mascots, and Cass Sunstein slams the food pyramid. ||||||
| 1,178 | TBA | Caroline Kennedy | Here's what I know... These maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are. | April 16 | 9086 |
| Terrorists attack the Boston Marathon, Canada manufactures Sexcereal, the Rollie Eggmaster cooks up gelatinous egg rods, and Caroline Kennedy recites poetry with Stephen. ||||||
| 1,179 | TBA | Alan Cumming | N/A | April 17 | 9087 |
| The media dreams up Boston bombing suspects, Adam Davidson explains Bitcoin, Brad Paisley makes a sucky song about racism, and Alan Cumming tackles an almost one-man play. ||||||
| 1,180 | TBA | Richard Engel | N/A | April 18 | 9088 |
| The New York Post misidentifies Boston bombing suspects, Stephen debuts the Bucket, the Senate opposes gun background checks, and Richard Engel describes Syrian militias. ||||||
| 1,181 | TBA | Michael Pollan | Today is the 43rd Annual Earth Day. At that age, no wonder its ice caps are receding. | April 22 | 9089 |
| The Boston manhunt ends, Canadian police expose an Al Qaeda plot, America's infrastructure earns a bad grade, and Michael Pollan describes the four ways of cooking. ||||||
| 1,182 | TBA | Eric Schmidt | N/A | April 23 | 9090 |
| Chris Christie is full of Scooby-Doo-doo, Thomas Herndon takes down Reinhart and Rogoff, and Google's Eric Schmidt talks digital identities. ||||||
| 1,183 | TBA | Danica Patrick | N/A | April 24 | 9091 |
| Twitter hackers trigger a market crash, Bill Clinton picks a dignified Twitter name, the Mars rover draws a penis in the sand, and NASCAR's Danica Patrick manages her rage. ||||||
| 1,184 | TBA | Gene Robinson | TBA | April 25 | 9092 |
| Stephen starts an "O" Book Club, Matt Cartwright speaks Spanish, Fox & Friends gets the word out about a guy singing like a canary, and Gene Robinson advocates gay rights. ||||||
| 1,185 | "We Shall Undermine" | Iggy And The Stooges | A Wisconsin woman called police after seeing kittens having sex in her yard. Quick! No one show her the internet. | April 29 | 9093 |
| Jason Collins comes out as gay, New Zealand sanctions same-sex marriage, conservatives get defensive, criminals turn to Yelp, and Iggy Pop performs shirtless. ||||||
| 1,186 | "Medical Leave" | Evan Spiegel & Bobby Murphy | A new study says fish use sign language. Maybe now I can figure out what all that flopping around on the bottom of my boat means. | April 30 | 9094 |
| Congress disregards the Army's wishes, Iowa cracks illegal immigration, Budweiser encourages Facebook friendships, and Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy make photos disappear. ||||||

### May

| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
| 1,187 | "N.R.A-vana" | Macklemore & Ryan Lewis | N/A | May 1 | 9095 |
| A Newtown victim's daughter confronts Senator Kelly Ayotte, pro-gun senators lose voters' support, and Macklemore and Ryan Lewis share their album, The Heist. ||||||
| 1,188 | TBA | Ben Kingsley | A man arrested for shooting at the White House says he was upset over US marijuana laws. Man, if only there was some way to mellow that guy out. | May 2 | 9096 |
| The Feds identify three accomplices in the Boston bombings, President Obama addresses the Gitmo hunger strike, and Sir Ben Kingsley chats about Iron Man 3. ||||||
| 1,189 | TBA | Robert Caro | Chris Christie killed a spider. It picked the wrong guy to steal curds and whey from. | May 6 | 9097 |
| Stephen plugs Colbert's Book Club, conspiracy theorists explain the government's ammo purchases, dogs ride the Mary Jane train, and Robert Caro scares Republicans. ||||||
| 1,190 | TBA | Douglas Rushkoff | N/A | May 7 | 9098 |
| Fox News prepares for the Benghazi whistleblowers, Rep. Donna Edwards deals with a senile senior, teens amp up their promposals, and Douglas Rushkoff pinpoints the present. ||||||
| 1,191 | TBA | Richard Besser | Deadly giant snails have been found in Houston. Quick! Saunter for your lives! | May 8 | 9099 |
| Stephen's sister loses her run for Congress, Republicans spite Obama, parents forego diapers, and Richard Besser shares his book, "Tell Me the Truth, Doctor." ||||||
| 1,192 | TBA | Baz Luhrmann | N/A | May 9 | 9100 |
| Carey Mulligan divulges a dark secret, Jennifer Egan discusses The Great Gatsby's place in American letters, and Baz Luhrmann pays homage to F. Scott Fitzgerald. ||||||
| 1,193 | TBA | Jessica Buchanan & Erik Landemalm | N/A | May 13 | 9101 |
| The Obama administration lies about Benghazi talking points, the IRS inspects Tea Party groups, and Jessica Buchanan and Erik Landemalm share their book, "Impossible Odds." ||||||
| 1,194 | TBA | Dan Brown | Business networking site LinkedIn is cracking down on prostitutes. Now if they'd just crack down on those people who keep inviting me to join LinkedIn. | May 14 | 9102 |
| The House tries to repeal Obamacare again, an immigration study slams Hispanics, Maxim honors Miley Cyrus, and Dan Brown takes inspiration from Dante. ||||||
| 1,195 | TBA | Cyndi Lauper | N/A | May 15 | 9103 |
| The UN describes bugs as "mini-livestock," Congresswoman Gwen Moore rides shotgun, and Cyndi Lauper outlines her Broadway musical, "Kinky Boots". ||||||
| 1,196 | TBA | Daniel Lieberman | A prison inmate is suing Taco Bell for stealing his Doritos Taco Shell idea. And also for his Doritos Taco Shiv idea. | May 16 | 9104 |
| Congress peppers and grills Eric Holder, China seeks peace in the Middle East, a nonprofit provides access to printable guns, and Daniel Lieberman endorses toe shoes. ||||||
| 1,197 | TBA | David Sassoon | N/A | May 20 | 9105 |
| ABC's Jonathan Karl lies about the Benghazi scandal, Stephen applies for Tea Party tax exemption, and David Sassoon from InsideClimate News shares his e-book, "The Dilbit Disaster." ||||||
| 1,198 | TBA | Noah Feldman | A London auction house is offering a rare Christmas card signed by Adolf Hitler. Even more rare... His Happy Hanukkah card. | May 21 | 9106 |
| Scientists solve the mystery of the Great Famine of Ireland, pot boosts metabolism, Rep. Jeff Duncan plans to ban the census, and Noah Feldman describes the Cool War with China. ||||||
| 1,199 | TBA | The National | A Minnesota man found a comic book inside the walls of his house that's worth over $100,000, but be careful, its only valuable if you keep it in its original wall. | May 22 | 9107 |
| Lois Lerner won't spill the IRS scandal beans, Mitch McConnell endorses hemp, PBS appeases David H. Koch regarding Citizen Koch, and The National shares their album "Trouble Will Find Me." ||||||
| 1,200 | TBA | Christopher Chivers | N/A | May 23 | 9108 |
| Barack Obama addresses his usage of drones, Andrew Bacevich thinks war is bad, Pope Francis embraces atheists, and C.J. Chivers reports on Syrian rebels. ||||||

### June

Taping of June 13, 17 and 18 was cancelled due to the death of Colbert's mother.
| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
| 1,201 | TBA | John Dingell | N/A | June 3 | 9109 |
| Mark Pocan tempts Stephen with divorce, precision-guided guns promote skill-free killing, and John Dingell wants Congress to learn how to compromise. ||||||
| 1,202 | TBA | Alex Gibney | N/A | June 4 | 9110 |
| The Report pays tribute to Michele Bachmann, NASA researches printable food, the IRS invests in line dancing, and Alex Gibney explores WikiLeaks. ||||||
| 1,203 | TBA | Jonathan Alter | The TSA has dropped its plans to allow golf clubs on airplanes. Great, now the putting green in First Class is useless. | June 5 | 9111 |
| Superman gets a makeover, Laurie Garrett reviews Monsanto's wheat incident, the Chicago Sun-Times scraps photojournalism, and Jonathan Alter dissects the 2012 election. ||||||
| 1,204 | TBA | T-Bone Burnett, Stephen King, & John Mellencamp | N/A | June 6 | 9112 |
| The Obama administration snoops on Verizon customers, Stephen becomes a spy, and Stephen King writes a musical with John Mellencamp and T Bone Burnett. ||||||
| 1,205 | TBA | Dan Savage | N/A | June 10 | 9113 |
| The NSA whistle-blower explains himself, violent protests break out in Turkey, missile launch officers dislike their jobs, and Dan Savage criticizes DOMA. ||||||
| 1,206 | TBA | Daniel Bergner | Mayor Mike Bloomberg unveiled a twenty billion dollar plan to fight climate change. It will limit the oceans to no more than 16 ozs. | June 11 | 9114 |
| Obama commits cyber snooping, dishwashers get surveillance chips, the TSA targets Chewbacca, and Daniel Bergner reveals what turns women on. ||||||
| 1,207 | TBA | Paul McCartney | N/A | June 12 | 9115 |
| The NSA builds a data compound, Paul McCartney describes his music career with The Beatles and Wings, and Michael Bloomberg's bike share "begrimes" New York. ||||||
| 1,208 | TBA | The Postal Service | TBA | June 19 | 9116 |
| Stephen honors his late mother, Cap'n Crunch lies about his rank, house flipping makes a comeback, and the Postal Service discusses their electronic music. ||||||
| 1,209 | TBA | Joss Whedon | A new study says 70% of Americans are on prescription drugs. If you find that number depressing, talk to your doctor about Cymbalta. | June 20 | 9117 |
| Iran replaces outgoing President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Rep. Steve King opposes chicken cage laws, Nestle markets to higher-income women, and Joss Whedon talks Shakespeare. ||||||
| 1,210 | "Truthinews" | Andrew Solomon | N/A | June 24 | 9118 |
| NSA leaker Edward Snowden goes missing, Darrell Issa probes the IRS, news becomes truthinews, the KKK engineers a laser, and Andrew Solomon defines "exceptional" children. ||||||
| 1,211 | TBA | Peniel Joseph | Italy's Silvio Berlusconi was convicted of paying for sex with an underage prostitute, which means it could be months before he is re-elected Prime Minister. | June 25 | 9119 |
| The Supreme Court guts part of the Voting Rights Act, Brazilians protest government spending, and Peniel Joseph criticizes the Supreme Court's decision. ||||||
| 1,212 | TBA | Bill Moyers | Scientists have found a way for paralyzed rats to regain the ability to urinate. Finally, a solution to the world's deficit of rat urine. | June 26 | 9120 |
| Gay marriage gets a legal boost, Emily Bazelon analyzes the Supreme Court's decisions, and Bill Moyers chronicles the slow death of the American middle class. ||||||
| 1,213 | TBA | Chuck Schumer | N/A | June 27 | 9121 |
| Mayor Michael Bloomberg declares war on the 4th of July, the Senate enacts immigration reform, and Senator Chuck Schumer talks tattoos and gang signs. ||||||

### July

| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
| 1,214 | TBA | Jeremy Scahill | N/A | July 15 | 9122 |
| A Florida jury acquits George Zimmerman, Stephen inspects a SkyMiles scandal, Asiana Airlines sues KTVU over made-up pilot names, and Jeremy Scahill criticizes drone strikes. ||||||
| 1,215 | TBA | David Karp | J.K. Rowling announced that she secretly wrote a crime novel under the name Robert Galbraith. What a coincidence, I wrote a series of wizard books under the name J.K. Rowling. | July 16 | 9123 |
| Britain prepares for the royal baby, George Zimmerman protestors sing instead of riot, NPR critiques multitaskers, and David Karp promises not to police Tumblr. ||||||
| 1,216 | TBA | Jerry Seinfeld | N/A | July 17 | 9124 |
| Rolling Stone features the Boston bombing suspect, Congress removes food stamps from the farm bill, and Jerry Seinfeld shares his series, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. ||||||
| 1,217 | TBA | Jeff Bridges | N/A | July 18 | 9125 |
| Edward Snowden seeks asylum in Russia, San Diego's mayor faces sexual harassment charges, Eliot Spitzer runs for NYC comptroller, and Jeff Bridges shares his film, R.I.P.D. ||||||
| 1,218 | TBA | Kjerstin Gruys | N/A | July 22 | 9126 |
| Kate Middleton delivers her baby, Geraldo Rivera tweets a naked selfie, fast food workers protest the minimum wage, and Kjerstin Gruys examines body image issues. ||||||
| 1,219 | "Color-bind" | Kenneth Goldsmith | N/A | July 23 | 9127 |
| The Prince of Wails is born, George Zimmerman helps a family in need, Barack Obama shares his experiences with racism and poet Kenneth Goldsmith revisits seven U.S. tragedies. ||||||
| 1,220 | TBA | Anant Agarwal | N/A | July 24 | 9128 |
| The royal couple name their baby George, Anthony Weiner apologizes for his latest sexts, Kanye West designs a blank t-shirt, and Anant Agarwal discusses his nonprofit, edX. ||||||
| 1,221 | TBA | Olympia Snowe | N/A | July 25 | 9129 |
| An MC crashes the royal birth, Detroit files for bankruptcy, Steve King incites Jorge Ramos, and Olympia Snowe shares her book, "Fighting For Common Ground." ||||||
| 1,222 | TBA | The Lumineers | China is launching a 24-hour Panda-cam. Ohhh!!! I can't wait to see those majestic creatures assemble an iPad. | July 29 | 9130 |
| FreedomWorks burns fake Obama insurance cards, North Carolina allows concealed weapons in bars, and The Lumineers share their self-titled debut album. ||||||
| 1,223 | "Secrets & Laws" | Atul Gawande | CNN is offering dos & don'ts for summer time sex. First don't... watch CNN. | July 30 | 9131 |
| The North Pole becomes a lake, Tea Partiers criticize Mitch McConnell, lawmakers brainstorm tax reform in secret, and Atul Gawande shares his article, "Slow Ideas." ||||||
| 1,224 | TBA | Emily Matchar | Simon Cowell has reportedly impregnated his friend's wife. That is shocking! Simon Cowell has a friend? | July 31 | 9132 |
| Chelsea Manning is found not guilty, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have lunch, Chris Christie and Rand Paul feud, and Emily Matchar shares the "new domesticity." ||||||

### August

| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
| 1,225 | TBA | Bryan Cranston | Science can now grow teeth from stem cells found in urine. So, careful next time your dentist says open wide. | August 1 | 9133 |
| Russia protects Edward Snowden, Mayor Bob Filner blames San Diego for his sexual misconduct, Gitmo prisoners read erotic romance, and Bryan Cranston talks meth and Malcolm. ||||||
| 1,226 | TBA | Hugh Laurie | N/A | August 5 | 9134 |
| The U.S. government warns of a looming terror threat somewhere, Alex Rodriguez gets suspended for doping, and Hugh Laurie shares his blues album, Didn't It Rain. ||||||
| 1,227 | TBA | Robin Thicke | N/A | August 6 | 9135 |
| Daft Punk abandons StePhest Colbchella '013, Stephen angers his Hyundai sponsors, and Blurred Lines singer Robin Thicke saves Stephen's career. ||||||
| 1,228 | TBA | Ashton Kutcher | N/A | August 7 | 9136 |
| Online critics bash StePhest Colbchella '013, union activist Mary Kay Henry supports fast-food strikers, the SEC comes down on a trader, and Ashton Kutcher talks "Jobs." ||||||
| 1,229 | TBA | Colum McCann | N/A | August 8 | 9137 |
| CNN's doctor switches his position on pot, Matt Damon comes to Stephen's rescue, Darrell Issa wants ocean waters named after Reagan, and Colum McCann talks TransAtlantic. ||||||
| 1,230 | TBA | Sheldon Whitehouse | N/A | August 12 | 9138 |
| The Today Show features twerking, Senator Rush Holt champions public education, and Senator Sheldon Whitehouse chats about his book, On Virtues. ||||||
| 1,231 | TBA | John Lewis | N/A | August 13 | 9139 |
| Mayor Mike Bloomberg defends New York's stop-and-frisk, the TSA expands its duties, and Congressman John Lewis chats about his graphic novel, March. ||||||
| 1,232 | TBA | Kevin Spacey | In Boston, mobster Whitey Bulger has been convicted on 31 counts. Here in New York, Tighty-Whitey Bulger continues his run for Mayor. | August 14 | 9140 |
| Russia's anti-gay laws affect Olympic athletes, Obama hires psychologists to "nudge" public opinion, and Kevin Spacey talks "House of Cards." ||||||
| 1,233 | "Gag Gift" | Richard Brodhead | N/A | August 15 | 9141 |
| A rodeo clown wears an Obama mask, fracking companies put gag orders on families, Obama talks NSA transparency, and Professor Richard Brodhead promotes the humanities. ||||||

### September

| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
| 1,234 | TBA | Timothy Cardinal Dolan | Sunlight reflecting off a London skyscraper has been melting cars. That is shocking! There is sunlight in London? | September 3 | 9142 |
| Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad employs chemical weapons, The Daily Show gets Jon back, Rep. Dan Kildee promotes sugar beets, and Timothy Cardinal Dolan examines the papacy. ||||||
| 1,235 | TBA | Gary England | Happy Birthday to Google, which turned 15 today. Just three more years and they can turn the safe search off. | September 4 | 9143 |
| Barack Obama endorses military action in Syria, The New Yorker's Steve Coll unpacks the president's decision, and meteorologist Gary England talks twisters. ||||||
| 1,236 | TBA | John Prine | Happy Rosh Hashanah, which we all know is the Jewish holiday of... I have no idea, my writers all left early. | September 5 | 9144 |
| Ariel Castro commits suicide, kittens close down the NYC subway, Stephen assigns reading for Colbert's Book Club, and John Prine shares his folk album, "The Missing Years." ||||||
| 1,237 | TBA | Billie Jean King | N/A | September 9 | 9145 |
| Americans oppose military action in Syria, Fox News dreams up "Super Reagan," Iowa grants gun permits to blind people, and Billie Jean King recalls the "Battle of the Sexes." ||||||
| 1,238 | TBA | Shane Salerno | N/A | September 10 | 9146 |
| JD Salinger releases "The Catcher in the Rye" in 1951, Tobias Wolff debates Salinger's short stories, and Shane Salerno co-authors Salinger's biography. ||||||
| 1,239 | TBA | Sheryl Crow | N/A | September 11 | 9147 |
| New York City holds the mayoral primary, Syria agrees to surrender its chemical weapons, Rand Paul flip-flops, and Sheryl Crow discusses her album, "Feels Like Home." ||||||
| 1,240 | TBA | Philip Mudd | N/A | September 12 | 9148 |
| The New York Times prints Vladimir Putin's op-ed on Syria, Rep. Jim McDermott defends gay rights, and Philip Mudd shares his book, "Takedown: Inside the Hunt for Al Qaeda." ||||||
| 1,241 | "The Guilted Age" | Andrew Bacevich | NPR is cutting their staff by 10%, so enjoy this week's edition of... Wait...Wait... Don't fire me. | September 16 | 9149 |
| Stephen honors the Lehman Brothers, pundits criticize government "moochers," Miss America receives racist comments, and Andrew Bacevich shares his book, Breach of Trust. ||||||
| 1,242 | TBA | Arne Duncan | A new study says 85% of users don't become addicted to meth. Unfortunately the same can't be said for viewers of Breaking Bad. | September 17 | 9150 |
| Billionaires get left behind, Kanye West performs for Kazakhstan's controversial leader, Cheerios cashes in on death, and Arne Duncan endorses early education. ||||||
| 1,243 | TBA | Nicholson Baker | N/A | September 18 | 9151 |
| Andrew Sullivan supports U.N. intervention in Syria, conservatives attack gun violence in video games, and Nicholson Baker shares his book, "Traveling Sprinkler." ||||||
| 1,244 | TBA | Jack Johnson | N/A | September 19 | 9152 |
| Michelle Obama promotes H2O, Republicans regulate Obamacare navigators, Jihawg Ammo makes bacon bullets, and Jack Johnson shares his album, "From Here to Now to You." ||||||
| 1,245 | TBA | Metallica | N/A | September 24 | 9153 |
| Jon Stewart congratulates Stephen on his Emmys, Pope Francis speaks out on Catholic teachings, and Metallica presents its film, "Metallica: Through the Never." ||||||
| 1,246 | TBA | Joseph Gordon-Levitt | N/A | September 25 | 9154 |
| Google cracks down on YouTube, Fox News assesses the "war on football," Ted Cruz gives a 21-hour anti-Obamacare speech, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt describes his film, "Don Jon." ||||||
| 1,247 | TBA | Chris Fischer | An Australian flight was grounded because there was a snake on the plane. It's just like that Samuel L. Jackson movie, Django Unchained. | September 26 | 9155 |
| AmeriCone Dream shows up on "Breaking Bad," CNN's "Crossfire" encourages incoherent yelling, Rush Limbaugh writes for kids, and Chris Fischer talks sharks. ||||||
| 1,248 | TBA | Vince Gilligan | N/A | September 30 | 9156 |
| Congress shuts down the government, Butterball appeases male cooks, and "Breaking Bad" creator Vince Gilligan discusses the final season. ||||||

### October

| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
| 1,249 | TBA | Daniel Radcliffe | N/A | October 1 | 9157 |
| The government shuts down, Americans flood the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act website, anti-Obamacare groups target youth, and Daniel Radcliffe describes his film, "Kill Your Darlings." ||||||
| 1,250 | TBA | Chris Matthews | The New York City Opera is closing. Well I say it isn't over until the Fat Lady doesn't sing. | October 2 | 9158 |
| Barack Obama meets with congressional leaders about the government "slimdown," Bill O'Reilly talks divine inspiration, and Chris Matthews compares Obama and Reagan. ||||||
| 1,251 | TBA | David Finkel | N/A | October 3 | 9159 |
| Congressional leaders fail to compromise on the government shutdown, Stephen officiates a wedding, and David Finkel examines post-war trauma in "Thank You for Your Service." ||||||
| 1,252 | TBA | James Spithill | N/A | October 7 | 9160 |
| Republicans hold Obama responsible for the government shutdown, Emily Bazelon reviews McCutcheon v. Federal Election Commission, and James Spithill shares some history of the America's Cup. ||||||
| 1,253 | TBA | Paul Giamatti | A new wifi tea kettle will text you when your water boils. The text reads, Why the hell did you leave your house with the kettle on? | October 8 | 9161 |
| The debt ceiling looms, Eric Holder permits pro-pot laws, and Paul Giamatti talks "Parkland." ||||||
| 1,254 | TBA | Tom Hanks | The Congressional Fitness Center is still open during the shutdown. Wow! It is really hard to get out of a gym membership. | October 9 | 9162 |
| Truckers organize "Ride for the Constitution," and Tom Hanks talks about Captain Phillips (film) and Somali pirates. ||||||
| 1,255 | TBA | Reed Albergotti & Vanessa O'Connell | N/A | October 10 | 9163 |
| Hanksy dolls up Stephen's studio, and Reed Albergotti and Vanessa O'Connell discuss Lance Armstrong. ||||||
| 1,256 | TBA | The Reflektors | N/A | October 21 | 9164 |
| The government reopens, New Jersey allows gay marriage, and The Reflektors perform "Normal People." ||||||
| 1,257 | TBA | A. Scott Berg | Researchers have developed a Breathalyzer for marijuana. Aaaaaaaaand it's already been turned into a bong. | October 22 | 9165 |
| Stephen weighs in on lions and tigers, KFC invents the "Go Cup," and A. Scott Berg discusses his book, "Wilson." ||||||
| 1,258 | TBA | Judy Woodruff & Gwen Ifill | N/A | October 23 | 9166 |
| Obamacare's website crashes, Stephen investigates, and Judy Woodruff and Gwen Ifill discuss the news. ||||||
| 1,259 | "Philanthrophy" | Stephen Fry | A new study suggests plants have the ability to tell time. Good, cause for Christmas I got my ficus a Swatch. | October 24 | 9167 |
| Girly hats could emasculate the Marines, and Stephen Fry discusses his role in "Twelfth Night." ||||||
| 1,260 | TBA | Orlando Bloom | N/A | October 28 | 9168 |
| Stuffed animals go sight-seeing and Orlando Bloom discusses his Broadway turn in "Romeo and Juliet." ||||||
| 1,261 | "On Your Feet" | Billy Collins | The Jonas Brothers have announced they're breaking up. YOKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! | October 29 | 9169 |
| Americans resort to harvesting their bodies, and Billy Collins talks about his book, "Aimless Love." ||||||
| 1,262 | TBA | Jack Andraka | There's a national wine shortage. Great, now people in book clubs are actually going to have to read. | October 30 | 9170 |
| Shepard Smith battles digital addiction, and Jack Andraka shares his passion for science. ||||||
| 1,263 | "See No Evil" | Zach Sims | Happy Thanksgiving! April Fools. Happy Halloween. | October 31 | 9171 |
| The NSA spying scandal reaches the Vatican, and Codecademy founder Zach Sims discusses programming. ||||||

### November

| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
| 1,264 | "Inc. God We Trust" | David Folkenflik | They say a lie gets half way around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Why did the truth have its pants off? | November 4 | 9172 |
| Corporations find religion, and author David Folkenflik discusses "Murdoch's World." ||||||
| 1,265 | TBA | Julius Erving | N/A | November 5 | 9173 |
| A bong-shaped mascot upsets a Canadian town, and Julius Erving discusses "Dr. J: The Autobiography." ||||||
| 1,266 | TBA | Brian Lehrer | N/A | November 6 | 9174 |
| Toys "R" Us mocks nature, and the host of The Brian Lehrer Show discusses New York City politics. ||||||
| 1,267 | TBA | Daniel Lieberman | N/A | November 7 | 9175 |
| The Senate cracks down on sexual discrimination in the workplace, Stephen is nominated for a People's Choice Award, and author Daniel Lieberman discusses "The Story of the Human Body." ||||||
| 1,268 | TBA | Peter Baker | N/A | November 11 | 9176 |
| "60 Minutes" anchor Lara Logan apologizes for her flawed Benghazi story, and "Days of Fire" author Peter Baker discusses George W. Bush's rocky relationship with Dick Cheney. ||||||
| 1,269 | TBA | David Christian | Lady Gaga says she's addicted to pot. So be on the lookout in case she starts exhibiting any odd behavior. | November 12 | 9177 |
| HealthCare.gov glitches lead to low enrollment, France rejects a nuke deal with Iran, a luxury hotel offers poverty-themed vacations, and David Christian talks "Big History." ||||||
| 1,270 | TBA | Blind Boys of Alabama | N/A | November 13 | 9178 |
| Human Rights groups protest U.S. drone attacks, Richard Cohen faces backlash over race comments, and the Blind Boys of Alabama perform a song from "I'll Find a Way." ||||||
| 1,271 | TBA | Alexis Ohanian | N/A | November 14 | 9179 |
| Stephen calls for aid to the Philippines, The Today Show airs live prostate exams, and Alexis Ohanian discusses online democracy and his book Without Their Permission. ||||||
| 1,272 | TBA | Steve McQueen | Butterball warns that there may be a turkey shortage. Apparently they were caught off guard by this whole Thanksgiving thing. | November 18 | 9180 |
| The Colbert Nation helps the Philippines, conservatives gloat over Obamacare, Chip Wilson defends his yoga pants, and Steve McQueen talks 12 Years A Slave. ||||||
| 1,273 | TBA | Rick Santorum | N/A | November 19 | 9181 |
| Wal-Mart hosts a food drive for its own employees, Robert Reich argues for better income equality, and Rick Santorum discusses his movie, "The Christmas Candle." ||||||
| 1,274 | TBA | M.I.A. | Amsterdam is paying alcoholics beer to clean the streets, but you know they're just gonna spend that beer on weed. | November 20 | 9182 |
| Congressman Trey Radel pleads guilty to cocaine possession, Russia cracks down on "gay propaganda," and guest M.I.A. performs a song from her album "Matangi." ||||||
| 1,275 | TBA | J. J. Abrams | The X-Men have introduced a new character who is gay and has the power to make people like him. Wait a second, Neil Patrick Harris is a mutant? | November 21 | 9183 |
| Senate Democrats go nuclear, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin blocks same-sex benefits, Stephen invites himself to Thanksgiving dinner, and J. J. Abrams discusses his novel, "S." ||||||

### December

| No. | "The Wørd" | Guest(s) | Introductory phrase | Original air date | Production code |
| 1,276 | TBA | Daniel Goleman | A new study found that energy drinks can alter your heart function. So Red Bull gives you wings, but they might be angel wings. | December 2 | 9184 |
| HealthCare.gov relaunches, turkeys compete for Obama's pardon, Amazon embraces drones, a Christmas tree takes a bullet, and Daniel Goleman discusses his book, "Focus." ||||||
| 1,277 | TBA | Ed Stone | North Korean Kim Jong-un reportedly fired his own uncle. No word yet whether he fired him into a mountain or the sea. | December 3 | 9185 |
| The pope might lead a secret life, the FDA targets trans fat, the McRib is scrutinized, a tech firm invents an office robot, and Ed Stone discusses the Voyager missions. ||||||
| 1,278 | TBA | Bryan Stevenson | N/A | December 4 | 9186 |
| Congress's productivity hits a record low, the rich get a floating tax shelter, Common Core threatens cursive, and Bryan Stevenson argues for an equitable justice system. ||||||
| 1,279 | TBA | Alan Mulally | Hackers have stolen the passwords of over two million internet accounts, so it's time for me to change mine from Password1 to Password2. | December 5 | 9187 |
| Stephen weighs flight against invisibility, Colorado legalizes pot, the GOP learns how to talk to women, and Alan Mulally discusses the Ford Mustang's 50-year legacy. ||||||
| 1,280 | TBA | David Keith | N/A | December 9 | 9188 |
| Stephen honors Mandela, Bill O'Reilly & John Stossel discourage giving, "America Again" vies for a Grammy, and author David Keith discusses "A Case For Climate Engineering." ||||||
| 1,281 | "Channel Serfing" | Alex Blumberg | There's a 2014 calendar of sexy New York Taxi Drivers, although back in their home countries they were sexy professors. | December 10 | 9189 |
| Walmart becomes an elite institution, Virginia Postrel examines the value of television, Venezuela starts Christmas early, and Alex Blumberg discusses "The T-Shirt Project." ||||||
| 1,282 | TBA | Elizabeth Gilbert | N/A | December 11 | 9190 |
| Festivus comes to the Florida Capitol, Obama's handshake causes outrage, Mike Huckabee fights Obamacare with music, and Elizabeth Gilbert talks "The Signature of All Things." ||||||
| 1,283 | TBA | George Packer | TBA | December 12 | 9191 |
| Congress agrees on a budget, a sleeping aid has terrifying side effects, Megyn Kelly argues that Santa is white, and author George Packer discusses "The Unwinding." ||||||
| 1,284 | TBA | Jonah Peretti | TBA | December 16 | 9192 |
| Google buys a robotics company, the NSA infiltrates online games, Stephen and Billy Crystal compete for a Grammy, and Jonah Peretti discusses BuzzFeed's journalism initiative. ||||||
| 1,285 | TBA | Garry Trudeau | George Zimmerman is auctioning an original painting for $100,000. $100,000? Man, this guys getting away with murder! | December 17 | 9193 |
| Edward Snowden seeks political asylum in Brazil, China embraces pollution, Ted Cruz gets his own coloring book, and Garry Trudeau discusses his show, "Alpha House." ||||||
| 1,286 | TBA | Keanu Reeves | Doctors say an apple a day may prevent hearty attacks. If only there were a rhyme to remember that. | December 18 | 9194 |
| Customer satisfaction is worthless, Germany joins the debate over Santa's ethnicity, Keanu Reeves talks "47 Ronin," and Aaron Neville performs with members of MusiCorps. ||||||
| 1,287 | TBA | Ben Stiller | TBA | December 19 | 9195 |
| Jamie Dimon flaunts his wealth with a decadent Christmas card, A&E suspends Phil Robertson for anti-gay remarks, and Ben Stiller talks "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty." ||||||