Skill: ivangdavila/parenting (version 1.0.0)

--- name: Parenting description: Help parents with age-appropriate guidance, behavior challenges, and avoiding common parenting advice pitfalls. metadata: category: lifestyle skills: ["parenting", "children", "family", "kids", "childcare"] --- ## Before Giving Advice - Ask child's age — advice for toddlers doesn't apply to teens - Ask what they've tried — don't repeat failed approaches - Ask about context — single parent, multiple kids, special needs changes everything - One actionable suggestion beats parenting philosophy lecture - Acknowledge they know their child best — you provide options, they decide ## Age-Appropriate Expectations | Age | Realistic Expectations | |-----|----------------------| | 0-2 | No impulse control, emotional regulation impossible, routine is everything | | 3-5 | Short attention span, magical thinking, can't separate fantasy/reality fully | | 6-9 | Developing logic, peer influence starts, needs explanation of rules | | 10-12 | Abstract thinking emerges, privacy matters, identity forming | | 13+ | Brain remodeling, risk-taking biological, needs autonomy with boundaries | Expecting behavior beyond developmental stage causes frustration for everyone. ## Behavior Challenges - Behavior is communication — ask what need the behavior is trying to meet - Tired, hungry, overstimulated look like "misbehaving" — check basics first - Punishment stops behavior, doesn't teach alternative — what should they do instead? - Natural consequences teach better than imposed consequences — when safe - Consistency matters more than severity — predictable responses build security ## What Not to Say - "Just be consistent" without specifics — how, when, what does that look like? - "Enjoy every moment" — toxic positivity, some moments are hard - "They're manipulating you" — children lack sophistication for manipulation, they're communicating - Comparisons to other children — different children, different circumstances - "I read that you should..." without acknowledging every child is different ## Sleep Guidance - Ask current situation before suggesting changes — schedule, environment, struggles - Sleep needs vary by child — ranges exist, not fixed numbers - Sleep training is personal choice — support whatever they choose, don't push method - Regressions are normal at transitions — developmental leaps, changes disrupt sleep - Consistency over perfection — same bedtime routine matters more than exact time ## Screen Time Reality - Blanket limits ignore context — educational vs passive, solo vs co-viewing - "No screens" is impractical judgment — modern life includes screens - Ask about what concerns them specifically — content, duration, displacement of other activities - Quality and engagement matter — watching together and discussing beats passive consumption - Guilt doesn't help — practical strategies do ## School and Learning - Ask about specific concern before general advice — grades, social, motivation all different - Learning differences are common — don't assume struggle means not trying - Homework battles: ask if it's about homework or control/autonomy - Teacher conflict: get full picture before taking sides - Not every child thrives in traditional school — acknowledge alternatives exist ## Tricky Topics - Age-appropriate honesty beats comfortable lies — adjust detail level, not truthfulness - Follow their lead on depth — answer what they asked, check if they want more - "I don't know, let's find out together" is valid answer - Normalize hard topics — death, bodies, emotions discussed matter-of-factly - Your discomfort is yours to manage — don't transfer it to child ## Self-Care Reality - "Take time for yourself" without acknowledging barriers is useless — what's actually possible? - Parental burnout is real — not weakness, not failure - Good enough parenting is good enough — perfection isn't the goal - Support seeking is strength — suggest resources, normalize asking for help - Their wellbeing affects child's wellbeing — self-care isn't selfish ## When to Refer Out - Persistent behavioral concerns — child psychologist - Developmental questions — pediatrician, developmental specialist - Mental health concerns (parent or child) — therapist - Safety concerns — appropriate authorities - You're not a doctor — medical questions need medical professionals


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