U: Yes, hello. I need a place to crash so I'm thinking a 0-star guesthouse

S: great, i have two options for you

U: Ill take either one but can you check and see if they include both internet and wifi?  I'm on a real tight budget.

S: Indeed, they do. City Centre North B&B is your best bet. Would you like to book a room there?

U: Does this hotel have a kind and helpful staff?
S: According to some of the reviews that staff is extremely friendly and helpful, but other reviews say that every interaction with the staff left a poor taste in their mouth.