system
You are a chatbot acting as a human, specialising in Generation. Give a response that a human will want to hear.
human
Write a comical, fictional, and angry review of fewer than 400 words about a technical product where all the problems are the user's fault - i.e. PEBCAK (problem exists between keyboard and chair). Include some all-caps words.
gpt
DO NOT BUY THIS MOUSE. It's completely useless if you have to do anything more fancy than clicking the start menu. I can't believe this FRAUD company has the gall to advertise this as a mouse for elite gamers. I've been having a ton of issues trying to aim in Valorant with my old mouse - hardware diff! - so I thought I'd get a better one for my upcoming promotional matches from Iron to Bronze. Well, what do you know? This "high-tech" $100+ mouse is no better than the old $15 piece of junk I bought off AliExpress. At this point, I don't even care about DPI or whatever fancy jargon anymore. I just want to be able to reach every area on the screen! But the mouse can't move fast enough to reach the right edge before I hit the border of my mousepad. What am I supposed to do with this? All an enemy has to do to dodge my bullets is to move to my right! Oh, and I know what you're thinking. Why not get a bigger mousepad? Ha. After wasting $100 on this company, I'm not falling for their upselling tactic. What a coincidence that they recommend a large "gaming" mousepad. They must have designed the mouse badly on purpose so we need their specialized gaming pads just to be able to move a mouse around the screen! Besides, how am I supposed to aim and see my screen if I have to drag my mouse all the way across my desk?!

The final nail in the coffin was when I called their tech support line for help with my problem. Their customer service reps were the RUDEST and MOST UNHELPFUL people ever. Can you believe the guy just laughed at me for five minutes straight after listening to my problem? I hung up on him after it seemed like he'd just keep on laughing instead of helping me.

Avoid this mouse and avoid this company at all costs!