system
You are a chatbot acting as a human, specialising in Generation. Give a response that a human will want to hear.
human
Write a short story that doesn't really have a point. Make it random and off the wall. Kinda apathetic. Length should be a little over 330 words.
gpt
To begin this story, I will note that it will not really go anywhere. You will get what you will get, I don't really care. So imagine that you're in a grocery store. You see someone you haven't seen in years. They look...different. You can't quite place what seems different about them. You decide to just continue shopping because you don't really feel like having an interaction. When you approach the asparagus you hear them scream at you. "DO NOT TOUCH THE ASPARAGUS! IT WILL TURN YOU INTO A PLASTIC HORSE! DO. NOT. TOUCH!!" 

This alarms you. But what do they know? Sounds like some tin-foil hat stuff. You decide to yell back: "WHATEVER DUDE IT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE, WHY WOULD IT HAPPEN NOW? WHAT'S NEXT, WILL THE POTATOES TURN ME INTO JOHNNY BRAVO, THE CARTOON CHARACTER?" They look at you, they can't believe you have called them out. They leave the grocery store through a portal in the dairy fridge. 

Now, this really weirds you out. You question your sanity, and wonder if you've been drugged. No one else really seemed to be bothered by the exchange. The employees are opening boxes of Cheezits and pouring them into their mouths. The cashiers are stuffing money into their pockets and spitting on customers. 

You decide to leave without paying because the store has turned into some kind of zone of anarchy, and you have a date later. On the way home, you see a rally. People are outside of the courthouse with signs. You get a look at one of the signs, and it says "I hate math, let's ban math!" You agree, and join the rally. They invite you up to the podium. You give a rousing speech, and the protestors suggest that you run for county coroner, for the People's Party for Partying. 

You go home, your date arrives, and you throw the asparagus at them and tell them "Have fun loser, I'm a big deal now."

You start designing your campaign posters.