Nikhileshh/Mental-Health-1 huggingface dataset:
Question: After I told them, they yelled at me.

Response: I am so sorry to hear this has been your family’s reaction. It is truly heartbreaking to hear. The important thing to remember is that your identity as bisexual is valid and you are worthy of love, no matter what other people say.The other therapists below have given you some great advice on how to cope with your family's reaction and how to manage the pain you are feeling. I wanted add to their responses by sharing a few resources on ways to connect with bisexual community.To know you are not alone. To see yourself reflected in others. To hear others stories of how they have coped. These things can help you stay strong during difficult times. I hope these resources can do some of that for you.Online blogs, resources, and stories: https://bisexual.org/, https://www.binetusa.org/Find a Bisexual support group: https://www.binetusa.org/bi-groups-in-the-usBisexual Podcast- https://www.binetusa.org/the-bicast Find Bi-Affirming Professionals in your area - http://bizone.org/bap/In Solidarity,-Lindsey
Question: After I told them, they yelled at me.

Response: It sounds like your family responded out of fear!  They may need some time to digest the information.  This can be hard for a family to hear for several reasons but you should be proud that you had the courage to tell them.  Once they realize how brave you were and how much you need their support they will come around.   Maybe you can write them a letter (for them to read without you present).  In the letter, you can tell them your struggles and maybe why you decided to tell them.  A letter will give them a little more time to digest the information.
Question: After I told them, they yelled at me.

Response: It's most important that you accept yourself and surround yourself with a group of friends who are kind to you and love you. Family hearing news of any kind for the first time if they are an anxious type of character, will always be tough to digest. Time is important to let it all settle in and also making sure you're taking good care of yourself... I think you're brave and I give you a lot of credit for not denying who you are -- you will inspire so many people to do the same in your life. Wishing you all the best. Gina
Question: After I told them, they yelled at me.

Response: That has to be incredibly difficult because you were very vulnerable and open about what you were feeling and I imagine the response was very hurtful.Here are a couple of things to do right now:Practice giving yourself some love. Bring your awareness to the room around you and some of the positive energy within you. As you become a bit centered, you're likely to be able to work through your emotions more easily.Surround yourself with people who do accept you. I'm hoping that you have friends or acquaintances who accept you as you are.You can also find some support here through this organization that often have events related to offering support: https://www.pflag.org/needsupport. I have not spoken with this organization directly, but they are often discussed in therapeutic trainings as a reputable organization.Related more specifically to your family, that change may take some time. There is often a large adjustment in families because of the huge variations in reactions and what each person thinks, feels, and believes.Consider talking with a local therapist about how to communicate more effectively with your family, as there are a lot of variables there, so it is difficult to give you specific ideas in this format.Remember, there are lots of people who accept you as you are right now.
Question: After I told them, they yelled at me.

Response: I'm sorry your family had such an upsetting response to your news.Maybe eventually they will come around to greater acceptance of you.   If this was the first time they heard this fact about your sexuality, the information may have overwhelmed them.It is up to the family members now to realize they handled their reaction in a way which may have upset you.Whether or not they do this, you still can be sure you did what was necessary and in your hands to tell them such key information about you.
Question: After I told them, they yelled at me.

Response: There are a lot of ways one could go about handling this kind of conflict. It is hard to know which way might be advisable if we don't know quite why they would yell (or, why would they care who you choose to sleep and/or partner with to begin with?)However, it is of utmost important that you accept yourself as bisexual, and sometimes that is easier said than done. But, when you are able to get to that acceptance that you are not in the majority in society as far as sexual orientation goes, and all that comes with that, and perhaps other issues you might have with it, it will be significantly easier for you to tolerate your family's lack of acceptance, and perhaps chalk it up to a severe lack of open-mindedness.But because it is family, and we don't choose our families but are forced to deal with them for the most part for better or worse (admittedly I'm not the biggest fan of outright estrangement), processing the loss of "the family that I hoped I had" will also be important for you moving forward in your life. You likely will be able to realize you don't need them to accept your sexual orientation for you to live a healthy and happy life. Perhaps when they see that they can't change you, they will actually just learn to accept it.
Question: I'm an adult, facing problems with my mom. She's way too controlling. She decides things for me, disregarding whatever I say. I tried explaining my side to her calmly, but she eventually gets angry and doesn't wish to listen to me regardless of how I speak to her.

Response: The part of your life which is in your control is the way you handle what your mom does and the way she talks to you.It is possible the two of you have very different opinions on a great number of matters.Each person, including you, has the right to decide whether and how to respond to someone.Stick up for your own right to make decisions.If she doesn't accept your independent viewpoints, then this doesn't give away your right to have these views.Since she makes herself clear as to her unwillingness to listen to you, then consider this as an easy way to avoid directly speaking with her about what's on your mind.If she ever shows an interest in your opinions and you feel like discussing these with her, then feel free to make this choice.
Question: I'm a teenage gay girl, and I'm in love with a girl a few years older than me. She loves me too, but we're not physically together at the moment. I've been thinking about being transgender soon too, but my family doesn't accept me, so I honestly don't know what to do about that because I feel like I have to constantly hide the real me. It hurts so much to hide the real me. What can I do?

Response: Many people do not accept the reality of gender beyond male and female.Obviously if your family doesn't accept your questioning status then this feels painful.All you really can do is continue your self-examination and know you're in a non-supportive family of doing so.To know the truth about your surroundings is much better than to not know, and also much better than pretending you are not in your current phase of gender expression questioning.
Question: I'm a teenage gay girl, and I'm in love with a girl a few years older than me. She loves me too, but we're not physically together at the moment. I've been thinking about being transgender soon too, but my family doesn't accept me, so I honestly don't know what to do about that because I feel like I have to constantly hide the real me. It hurts so much to hide the real me. What can I do?

Response: They would probably be helpful to speak with a local mental health professional about this, not because there's anything wrong with the real you, but because having these conversations can be difficult and you may choose to talk about your real self in different ways with different people.Maybe you could talk about your concerns with your significant other and discuss different ways you may be able to discuss your relationship that fit with how each of you defines your love for one another.Because you are saying openly that you are gay, and it sounds like you already identify yourself as gay, as compared to considering being transgender "soon," it may be worth considering disclosing the fact that you are gay now and disclosing the idea that you are transgender after you have worked through that yourself. I would like for you to be able to be true to yourself and show the real you. It could also be that you already know that you are transgender, but with the way that you  phrased it here, I'm not certain.Here is a link to a hotline that you may want to consider using. The Trevor Project is about helping teenagers who identify as LGBTQ: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/Here is another national site where you may be able to find a local chapter: https://www.pflag.org/I don't know what you mean when you said that your family will not accept you, but since you are concerned about your family's reaction, I would suggest that it may be helpful to have a therapist or some other support in place before telling your family. The decision of whether or not to wait longer to tell them is ultimately yours, but I wonder if you have a likelihood of explaining what you are experiencing in a way that would be truer to you and also perhaps easier for your family to follow if you had time to process it with supportive people first.Please remember that you are not alone in this. There are people in the world who can and will accept you for who you are.
Question: My older brother (in his 60s) started dating a lady with Asperger's. She is hyper-sexual and flirty. She does not understand boundaries. They’ve been dating for a few months, and she's talking marriage. Another sibling and his wife have met her, and they have said she is never invited back. My brother always picks similar ladies. Do we speak honestly and risk losing a relationship?

Response: If you and your brother are open w each other and respect each other’s opinions then there is little risk your relationship with him will end.If there already is strong animosity, mistrust, dislike between both of you then there is more chance he will not seriously consider your advice.For your own peace of mind, say whatever you feel must be said to him.The person you’ll need to live with is yourself so do what you believe is needed for you to feel good about saying what’s necessary.Even if he never follows through with your advice then you’ll still know you tried your best to advise.
Question: My older brother (in his 60s) started dating a lady with Asperger's. She is hyper-sexual and flirty. She does not understand boundaries. They’ve been dating for a few months, and she's talking marriage. Another sibling and his wife have met her, and they have said she is never invited back. My brother always picks similar ladies. Do we speak honestly and risk losing a relationship?

Response: This is tricky and quite delicate.I wonder if you could talk with your brother about whether he would be willing to have a discussion with you about something that is important to you. I would also suggest trying to make clear your true intentions. For example:Telling him that he has the right to do what he wants with who he chooses to dateThat you are talking to him about this because you care about himThat your relationship with him is important to you and that you love him and care about himAlso try to stick to examples or ideas that are objectively observable (for example, when this happens ___, I notice ___). That way you are using facts rather than opinions and things that can be observed rather than subjective emotional decisionsI would also be curious with what your brother sees in this girl, and I might even recommend starting with thatI cannot underline enough the importance of having this come across as genuine, and for lack of a better word, gentle.I also be very honest with you that I cannot guarantee that he will react positively, neutrally, or even that he will have the discussion with you.Because it is true that he could choose to continue dating this girl and perhaps even hold it against you for a while, I would also encourage you to look at the importance of this to you and where you consider the risk-benefit ratio to be.
Question: I'm a teenager, and I know the importance of my upcoming schooling. However, no matter how much I put in my best effort, my family thinks I have done zero effort in total. What can I do?

Response: Your family's opinion is quite demoralizing.Unless you are lying to yourself or to them, then your best effort deserves appreciation and support from family.The family members may have reasons besides the actual outcome of your school work to be so blind to your investment of effort.Maybe they target onto you their unhappiness in some other area of their lives.  It is often easier to create false narratives if a person wants to avoid looking at themselves.Possibly too, the family people may have a twisted logic to their words, as though ignoring your effort is a way to force you to do more.If you feel the family people will listen to the way their words affect you, then definitely tell them.If not, then you are learning an early lesson on how not everyone is necessarily supportive of others, and how disappointing this feels.
Question: I'm a teenager, and I know the importance of my upcoming schooling. However, no matter how much I put in my best effort, my family thinks I have done zero effort in total. What can I do?

Response: First of all, I'm glad that you posted here and I'm glad that you recognize the importance of schooling.Where does your family get the idea that you are not putting in the effort? While people can interpret "effort" differently, with talking about schoolwork, I would think that your grades would show the effort that you are putting in.If you are getting good grades and you are saying that your family does not think your grades are good enough, maybe there could be a conversation where you are able to ask them what they are expecting from you (and try to listen without defending yourself for a few minutes) and then you could explain what you are doing to prepare. Maybe you could set time limits so you each have five minutes to discuss this (or less, if you think that would be better).If your grades are not as good as you would like and you are putting in the effort, I would still consider having a conversation like I mentioned above, and perhaps taking advantage of tutoring or other possibilities offered by your school.Just as a bit more information for you, I have been working with children, teenagers, and adults for more than nine years now. When someone tells me that they wish their child would do better in school, I always ask what that means. Sometimes it means that their grades are D's and F's. For other families, it means that the grades dropped below 95% and in that family, that is unacceptable. Perception makes a big difference here.If you are doing your best and accomplishing your goals, that is worth celebrating.
Question: She constantly tells me what I am doing wrong. For once, I want her to be proud of me. It’s like no matter what I do, she does not have one nice word to say to me. She is always hateful towards me and always has been.

Response: I'm sad and heartbroken on your behalf.I'm very sorry your mom has such negative views on you.Please know that there must be some reason in her personal history or relationship life which drives her to criticize you so strongly.The natural dynamic is for a mother to love and nurture her child.Unless at some earlier point in your relationship with her, you caused some massive harm to her which would justify her indirect dislike for you, then the best way for you is to find supportive and loving other people who will to some degree make up for the harshness you hear from her.Also, read online about others who have similar situations because there may be good guidance on keeping yourself emotionally safe from how she treats you.
Question: She constantly tells me what I am doing wrong. For once, I want her to be proud of me. It’s like no matter what I do, she does not have one nice word to say to me. She is always hateful towards me and always has been.

Response: I imagine this is very difficult and confusing for you.It sounds like there are things for which you are proud of yourself, which is really good. I hope there are also other people in your life that are currently able to recognize the good things that you're doing.If you think your mom would be willing to go to see a local mental health professional with you, that may be a good place to have some discussions about the relationship that the two of you have. The reason I'm suggesting that it may be easier to have the conversations there is because sometimes the mental health professional can point out parts of conflict that are not easy for the people who are involved to actually see by themselves.If you want to try to talk with you mom to see how she is feeling, maybe she would be willing to discuss it with you. If you're going to have a conversation like that, I would suggest you try these things:Ask her if this would be a good time to have an important conversation. If she says no, consider asking her when would be a better time.Try to have the conversation with the goal of taking about five minutes to learn more about where she is coming from on this. If you can ask questions to learn more about that, you may be able to know more about what she is thinking and feeling.This doesn't mean that you have to agree with her, but just that you are able to hear where she is coming from.Try to ask questions that start with the words who, what, how, where, when. Questions that start with the word "why" can be difficult to answer and can lead to a lot of extra emotion.Try to summarize what she is saying to see if you have it right.If you want your mom to know how you feel, after you can listen to what she is saying and see if she is willing to listen to what you would like to say.If you're going to tell your mom about how you feel, consider having some points written down ahead of time so you can explain yourself the way that you want to.It will probably be really hard to listen to her without being defensive right away. I know I would be wanting to jump right into the conversation. Remember that jumping in right away will probably make it more difficult to learn where your mom is coming from.Also, if she says she doesn't want to have a conversation, remember that she has that choice.If your mom does not want to go to see a counselor with you, remember that you could go on your own. Depending on your state and exactly how old you are, you may need your parent's permission to be in treatment, but not always. If you need help to figure that out, try contacting a couple of local mental health agencies to see if they can help you figure out what to do if you want to talk to someone.
Question: I’m a teenager. My entire family needs family therapy, and more than likely individual therapy. My parents refuse to take action, and I'm tired of it. Is there any way I can get out of this myself?

Response: This sounds like a really tough situation.  As a teenager, you may be able to get counseling on your own (without needing your parents' consent) under some circumstances.  If your parents are refusing to consider counseling, you might want to try talking to your doctor or another trusted adult about finding some counseling resources - even without your parents' help.
Question: I’m a teenager. My entire family needs family therapy, and more than likely individual therapy. My parents refuse to take action, and I'm tired of it. Is there any way I can get out of this myself?

Response: This is a question that I often get from patients.  Can I get my family into therapy? How can I get someone else to do something that I think is best for them?  The answer is you can suggest, but you can’t force them.  I spend a lot of time teaching my patients the importance of recognizing the difference between the things that we can change and the things or people that we cannot.   Understanding that we do not have control over other’s outcome, gives a break to breathe and reduce our anxiety.   It also helps up to recognize that we CAN create change by changing ourselves.  “BE  THE CHANGE YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE”. Have you heard that quote?  It means that by changing your thinking, what you say and your actions, you can impact your surroundings.  Talking to your parents about how you feel regarding your family dynamics and suggesting in a sensitive and loving manner that therapy may be helpful for all of you, is a good way to approach the subject.  Whether or not they receive the suggestion seek your own therapy, talk to them about your experience and show them with your actions how your life is moving beyond family issues. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in Texas, currently providing services in West Houston.  You may reach me at 787-466-5478 to schedule an appointment.    ¿Cómo encuentro un terapista para mi familia siendo yo un menor?Soy adolecente.  Toda mi familia necesita terapia familiar y probablemente terapia individual.   Mis padres se reúsan a tomar acción,  estoy cansado de esto.  ¿Hay alguna manera en que me pueda salir de esta situación?Esto es una pregunta que comúnmente recibo de mis pacientes.  ¿Puedo hacer que mi familia venga a terapia?  ¿Cómo puedo lograr que otras personas hagan lo que yo creo que es mojos para ellos?  Puedes sugerir, pero no puedes obligarlos.  Dedico mucho tiempo en enseñarles a mis pacientes la importancia de reconocer la diferencia entre las cosas que podemos controlar y las cosas o personas que no podemos controlar.  Al entender que no tenemos control sobre otros, nos permite relajarnos y reducir la ansiedad.   También nos ayuda a reconocer que podemos crear cambios cuando decidimos cambiar nosotros.   “SE EL CAMBIO QUE QUIRES EN TU VUDA” ¿Has escuchado esa frase?  Significa que cambiando lo que piensas, dices y tus acciones, puedes cambiar tus circunstancias.  Hablar con tu padres sobre cómo te sientes en respecto a la dinámica familiar, y sugerirles de manera sensible que pueden recibir ayuda terapéutica, puede ser la mejor manera de iniciar la conversación. Pero si reciben o no tu sugerencia, es importante que busques iniciar tu proceso de terapia, háblales de tu experiencia y demuéstrales con tus acciones como superas los obstáculos más allá del drama familiar.
Soy Consejera Profesional Licenciada en Texas y Puerto Rico, veo clientes en el este de Houston y proveo servicios de tele terapia.  Para una cita puedes llamar al 787-466-5478.
Question: It's the way my mom said I was worth nothing, stupid, no point of being in school. I'm "lazy little fat."

Response: There is nothing wrong with going to summer school.
Question: It's the way my mom said I was worth nothing, stupid, no point of being in school. I'm "lazy little fat."

Response: Your mom is telling you cruel words.The fact that she is your mother and is not supportive and willing to point out your strengths, is a good reason to not believe what she tells you.Parents are meant to nurture their children, not take them down with words.Kids go to summer schmo for all sorts of reasons.  If you were unable to concentrate during the school year on academic subjects, for whatever reason, summer school is a way to catch up so you will stay with your classmates in the school year which starts in September.I understand not liking the idea of school in the summer.  Only this is different than being putdown the way your mother does to you.