public went to work buying up every old cannon he could lay hands on his back yard was soon crowded with broken down and his bam with guns like an when s purpose got wind it was astonishing how valuable that thing became which just now was worth nothing at all best funny stories ha ha thought somebody else is to control of the market but i guess ive got the start of him so he went on buying and buying paying double the original price of the article people in the neighboring towns collected all the worthless they could find and sent it by the cart load to when his barn was full began the rubbish in his cellar then in his he the stock of his store his house his bam his horse and would have himself if any one would have taken him as in order to carry on the grand speculation he was a ruined man and as happy as a lark surely poor was cracked like the majority of his own cannon more or less crazy he must have been always years before this he purchased an elegant coffin and kept it in one of the spare rooms of his residence he even had his name engraved on the silver plate leaving a blank after the word died the blank was filled up in due time and well it was for that he secured so a coffin in his days for when he died his worldly wealth would not have bought him a pine box to say nothing of he never gave up expecting a war with great britain hopeful and radiant to the last his dying words were england � war � few days � great profits men and things it was that sweet old lady dame who told me the story of for these things happened long before my day died in at s death his collection came under the s hammer some of the larger guns were sold to the town and planted at the comers of divers streets others went off to the iron the balance twelve were down on a deserted wharf at the foot of anchor lane where after summer they rested at their ease in the grass and in autumn by the rain and buried by the winter snow it is with these twelve guns that our story has to deal the wharf where they was shut off from the street by a high fence � a silent dreamy old wharf covered with strange weeds and on account of its seclusion and the good fishing it afforded it was much frequented by us boys there we met many an afternoon to throw out our lines or play leap among the rusty cannon they were famous fellows in our eyes what a they had made in the of their youth what stories they might tell now if their lips could only speak once they were lively enough but there the grim sea dogs lay silent and forlorn in spite of all their former they always seemed to me like a lot of best funny stories able stretched out on a lawn in front of a hospital gazing and their lost youth but once more they were destined to lift up their voices � once more ere they over and lay speechless for all time and this is how it jack harry and myself were fishing off the wharf one afternoon when a thought flashed upon me like an inspiration i say boys i cried in my line hand over hand i ve got something what does it pull like asked looking down at the line and expecting to see a big perch at least oh nothing in the fish way i laughing it s about the old guns what about them i was thinking what jolly fun it would be to set one of the old on his legs and serve him out a of up came the three lines in a an enterprise better suited to the disposition of my companions could not have been proposed in a short time we had one of the smaller cannon over on its back and were busy the green from the the mould had the gun so effectually that for a while we fancied we should have to give up our attempt to the old men and things s a long would clear it out said if we only had one i looked to see if sailor ben s flag was flying at the cabin door for he always took in the colors when he went off fishing when you want to know if the admiral s aboard jest cast an eye to the my says sailor ben sometimes in a mood he called himself the admiral and i am sure he deserved to be one the admiral s flag was flying and i soon procured a from his carefully kept before long we had the gun in working order a newspaper lashed to the end of a served as a to dust out the bore jack blew through the and pronounced all clear seeing our task accomplished so easily we our attention to the other guns which lay in all sorts of in the rank grass a rope from sailor ben we managed with immense labor to drag the heavy pieces into position and place a brick under each to give it the proper elevation when we beheld them all in a row like a regular battery we simultaneously conceived an idea the magnitude of which struck us dumb for a moment our first intention was to load and fire a single gun how feeble and insignificant was such a plan compared to that which now sent the light dancing into our eyes best funny stories what could we have been thinking of cried jack we ll give em a to be sure if we die for it we turned 