thou better than i the thoughts that i am teaching now are thine own thoughts related to me often on thy return from the hills and collected by me in faithful memory hast forgotten having said to me the world cannot be all men may not be saved only a few by the grace of god i said these things to thee but what did i say but my thoughts and what are my thoughts lighter than the bloom of floating on the hills it is not to our own thought we must look for guidance but god s thoughts which are deep in us and clear in us but we do not listen and are led away by our reason my sin was to have preached john as well as myself i strayed beyond myself and lost myself in the love of god a thing a man may do if he love not his fellows my sin was not to have loved men enough but we are as god made us and must do the best we can with ourselves waited for to answer him but made no answer but sat like a stone his head hanging upon his chest why dost thou not answer he the brook said and answered my thoughts were away i was thinking of last night of our talk together in that balcony � i was thinking how sweet life is in the beginning and how it grows bitter in the mouth and the end seems bitter indeed when we think of the gladness that day when we walked through the streets of our first day together in it was in the of our lives and of the year how delightful it was for me to find one like thee so eager to understand the life of the so eager to join us such delight i shall not find again we spoke last night of our journey from to and across the thou not follow thy father s trade but would lead flocks from the hills and in time the best shepherd it is said ever known in the hills no one ever had an eye for a ram or like thee and of thy cure for all the are envious we were proud of our shepherd but he met john and came to me saying that god had called him to go forth and convert the world since god has placed thee here i said how is it that he should come and call thee away now and thou eager with explanation up and down the till we reached the bridge we crossed it and followed the path and under the cliffs till we came to the road that leads to it was there we said farewell two years or more passed away and then joseph brought thee back a tired suffering man whose wits were half gone and who recovered them slowly but who did not recover them while leading his flock how often have we talked of its increase and now we shall never talk again of and nor of thy meditations in the desert and on the and in the cave at night so much to me were these sweet of thee from the hills that my hope was that the dawn was drawing nigh when thou return no more to the hills and was a happy night when we sat together on the balcony indulging the brook in recollection thinking that henceforth we should live within sight of each other s faces always my hope last night was that it would be thou that close my eyes and lay me in a rock out of reach of the but my hopes have all vanished now thou art about to leave me the brethren no they will not leave me but even should all remain if thou be not here i shall be as alone but all may be as thou the jews will welcome me answered i am no longer the enemy paul is the enemy of and i am become the testimony he says is the root that bears the branches and if i go to and tell the jews that the whom put upon the cross still lives in the flesh they will rejoice exceedingly and send agents and after him wherever he goes paul persecuted me and my and now it would seem that my hand is turned against him remain with us cried forget the world leave it to itself and fear not one lie more will make no difference in a world that has lived upon lies from the beginning of time a counsel that me for i would begin no persecution against paul but the lie has spread and will run all over the world even as a single seed and the seed is of my all returns to me that paul was able to follow the path is certain testimony that he was sent by god to me and that i am called to be about my father s work as thou things repeat themselves farewell farewell my father in the faith so there is no thee my dear son and rising from his seat put a staff in hand and hung a about his neck if thy business be done perhaps but no let us indulge in no false hopes neither will look upon the other s face again did not answer and returning to the balcony said i will sit here and watch thee for the last time the brook but did not raise his eyes until he reached the bridge and then he took the path that led by the of other days and walked hastily for he was too agitated to think a little in front of him some hundred yards a great rock the path and when he came there he stopped for it was the last point from which he could have sight of the balcony 