de it s much prettier than captain then as i remained silent she said from something let fall to night you would appear to be giving your mind to sin may be clasped so close with as first lieutenant why not i said though i could not wonder at the difficulty found in her eyes to my new of life one might do worse � and indeed as i looked at her i how very much worse in the past i had done yet it was only because at one time everything had bored me while she bored me less than others that i had frequented her society look here i said you may sneer as you like but i have cut the old life and i want you to cut it also start some healthy interest some even � think of other people instead of yourself you will make jealous she said with a look that made ugly the little pallid high bred face now you know that is a lie i said quietly and is no better than she said furiously no � but never took consolation � you have � of which you are taking away the greatest she said and closed her eyes and leaned her fair head back against the chair looking so beautiful that had it been only a few weeks ago i should have kissed her i don t think we can blame each other i said you had i o the quarrelled with and we just drifted together a careless woman a bad careless man � but all that s over for my ideas of life and duty have undergone a radical change because you loved me she said timidly but now you think it was � wrong there was no love in our bond i said there never is in the yet gross of our kind there was in mine she said your very wretchedness i said proves that you are fitted for something better no she said frankly my despair is only because you are leaving me td be good if i had you near me paul and she stretched a hand to stroke my hair but i drew it down and held it fast with its fellow in mine poor little girl i said all that s over � pull yourself together � i want helping up as much as you do � for god s sake don t let us kick each other down it s no good paul she said oh we can all do without a break the thing we have set ourselves to do till a tremendous temptation comes and throws the whole machine out of gear � on our link � which breaks don t you think i know that s feeling for is a finer thing than yours ever was for me because she is a finer woman than i am but as i am so must i remain � sin may be clasped so close no no i cried make this a beginning take no new lover forget yourself try to do a little good in the world � and i will help you hates me she said no � but she has lived her own starved life so bravely that when she sees women with everything they want yet who want more she is angry a beast she said sullenly and as i said before every bit as bad as no � for is a gentleman � is not but come � it is twelve o clock and is always up with the lark yet as we passed through the endless it was of i was thinking not of the scorn that would have flashed in her great brown eyes could she have heard the conversation that had just taken place when we reached the green drawing room it was empty and our side by side in the hall looked reproach at us don t you see them pointing at us like and s virtuous fingers said scornfully good night mr teacher and dreams to you good night i answered and as she vanished murmured i said � and meant her hair chapter xvii we cannot see its face and i kept in touch with curly through flying visits to usually for week ends and through nurse grace who wrote me frequently these letters were human documents that often moved to tears for never was there such devotion such splendour of love on either side as this poor mother and her son and while he made as brave a fight as gay a show as ever each hid from the other their one aim and his that no abrupt turn in his illness should deprive her of her one joy in tending and beholding him � hers that he might die quickly and so be spared the last lingering and stages and so night and morning the one prayed for life and the other for death and each thought nurse grace blind to the working of their hearts yet in spite of her for the gallant boy i think this was the happiest time had known for years especially as the servants had been going on fairly well managing them we cannot see its face selves so that as put it there was peace in ell and for the first time she had to bestow as i had so far taken her into my confidence that she knew she was using another man s money not mine i had written to tom and received a reply from him he knew now that i had put my hand to the plough and there was to be no looking back but our letters were carefully in mine i mentioned my schemes and announced the death of general h well the last stages of whose illness had been cut short by heart failure to the great happiness of his widow and satisfaction of his 