she is she answered gravely it was rather a different statement from doctor s but i comforted myself by thinking that poor people seem to take a pleasure in making the very worst of everything i wrote at once to telling him the news and also to mrs and then for the rest of the day i wandered about wishing i had something or anything to do which unfortunately i had not i sent george with the letters to that they might catch the midday post and later in the day i received a from saying he would be over on saturday afternoon � on duty thursday and friday he said thus thursday passed away friday dragged by in the same dreary way i did not like to ride or drive though doctor recommended me to do so instead i about listening to the reports brought me by the women servants from the east wing the doctor s report was not so favourable and old said plainly that the mistress was very ill indeed i wished that they would let me see her once indeed i did try to steal into the sick a room but old meeting me just at the gallery door shut it and put her back against it now go away to bed she said firmly it won t do no good the mistress doesn t miss you so go away my honey what could i do but go i went to bed though i did not sleep much and then i had to get up again and so i came down to my solitary breakfast with no desire to eat and no interest in the letters and papers which lay upon the table charles had put the queen beside my plate thinking probably that i like his mistress would be eager for the fashions and the latest i took it up and glanced through the first article almost without knowing what it was about i read a few of the and answers and then i glanced carelessly through the list of fashionable marriages a marriage has been arranged between his prince and only daughter of the late de la esq of park chapter the shadow of death they say anything is better than suspense but i am not so sure about it while there is life there is hope and hope is sweet but when death comes it is all over so was it with me the end of my dream had come but i had hoped up to the very end i hardly it at first i leaned my head upon my hands and wished that i could cry i wondered if i ever should i was cold and as i sat trying to it all was he saying all the tender things to her that he used to say to me did they laugh and joke together as we used to do they have not the happy past to fall back upon as we had i wondered if she still made his head ache as she did that day he drove her to hill how distinctly i remembered it how he abused her afterwards how could he do it � how could he play such a double game as he did with both of us perhaps he made fun of me to her and spoke of me in the careless way he did then of her i shut my teeth with an angry click and wished then i could hate him but i could not � i could not no even though i knew that he had forsaken me for de la though he had broken his promises thrown away his honour proved himself i loved him still loved him the shadow of death � � as i knew i should never find it in my heart to love any other man on this side the grave i wondered what dear father would say if he could come back poor darling he would have trusted his little s whole happiness in prince s keeping � just as i had done � and lost it i took the miniature from about my neck and going up to my room i locked it away i could not bear to wear it now i almost hated the sight of it i had worn it every day since that afternoon when he gave it to me but now i knew i should clasp it about my neck and kiss it for the s sake never more i got through the morning somehow and sat down to my solitary luncheon which i did not eat mrs was worse � talking all sorts of nonsense the maid told me and they had cut off all her beautiful hair how i longed for to come i drove to meet him at station i was so restless and unhappy that i could not settle to anything and i had no doubt would be glad to see me the had not been out for a week excepting for exercise and my weak wrists had as much as they could do to manage them all alone exclaimed when he appeared yes i answered will you drive home my wrists are so weak he got into the carriage and the porter brought out his and delivered it to the care of the groom and then we moved towards home and so the is he said lightly i exclaimed she s got scarlet fever and very badly she was this morning and they have cut off all her beautiful hair t m� cherry s child by jove you don t say so he said in astonishment i thought she d just got a little mild attack and would probably be all right by this time oh dear no the doctor said at first that he hoped it would only be in a mild form but old said from the beginning that she was very ill 