aware and to for this involuntary thought he spoke to her about her religion i used to be religious she said but i am religious no longer i can hardly say my prayers now i said them last night but this morning i couldn t he passed his hand ss his eyes and said � it seems all like a bad dream he felt that he ought to stay with her and at the same time he felt that she was right that his would be for the struggle resided in herself but if she should learn from sir to forget him if he were to lose her altogether if she should never return the thought of such a calamity was the blow of all and the possibility of her going away for a time shocking as it was seemed almost light beside it he struggled against these thoughts for he hated and was ashamed of them they came into his mind and he hoped that they represented nothing of his real feeling suddenly his face changed he remembered his passion for her mother he had suffered what was suffering now she had by divined it by some instinct true they were very much like each other nothing would have kept him from but au that was so long ago good god it was not the same thing and at the very same moment he regretted that it was not a music lesson he was going to for an appointment with introduced a personal interest and if he were not to stay by her it would seem that he was indifferent to what became of her i sha n t go i will stay here i will stay by you but i don t know that i am going away with sir you said just now that you were did i say so father you must keep your appointment with and you must say nothing to if you should meet him you promise me that it rests with me father it is all in the heart he stood looking at her twisting his beard into a point and while she wondered whether he would go or stay she admired the delicacy of his hand think of the disgrace you will bring upon me and just at the time too when is beginning to see that a really great choir in london then father you do think that my going away will prejudice him against you i don say that i mean that this time seems less � of course you cannot go it is very shocking that we should be discussing the subject together a sudden fortitude came upon her and a sudden desire to sacrifice herself to her father then father i shall stay i will do nothing that will interfere with your work my dearest child it is not for me it is yourself she threw herself into his arms begging him to forgive her she wanted to stay with him she loved him better than her voice better than anything in the world he did not answer and when she raised her eyes she caught a slight look of doubt upon his face and wondered what it could mean at the very moment she had determined to stay with him and her love and her art for his sake a keen sense of his responsibility towards her was borne in upon him and the feeling within him crushed like a stone by that he could never do anything for her nor anything else except perchance achieve that of church music upon which his heart was set he understood in that instant that she was sacrificing all her life to his and he feared the sacrifice she was making and anticipated in some measure the remorse he would suffer but he dared not think that she had better go and achieve her destiny in the only way that was open to her he urged himself to believe that she was acting rightly it was impossible for him to hold any other opinion the thoughts that came upon him he strove to think were merely nervous accidents and he forced himself to accept the of the sacrifice he wished not to be selfish but however he acted he always seemed to be acting in his own interest since she had promised him not to go away with sir he was quite free to keep his appointment with and he gathered up his music and he let it fall again fearing that she would interpret his action to mean that he was glad to get away she him to go she said she was tired and wanted to lie down and all the while he spoke she was tortured with an uncertainty as to whether she was speaking the truth or not and he had not been gone many minutes when she remembered that she had not told him that had asked her to meet him that very afternoon in square and that the key of the square lay in her pocket like one with outstretched hands striving to feel her way in the dark she sought to discover in her soul whether she had deliberately suppressed or accidentally omitted the fact of her appointment with it might be that the conversation had taken a sudden turn at the moment she was about to tell him for the thought had crossed her mind that she ought to tell him then she seemed to lose count of everything and was to distinguish truth from falsehood to increase her difficulties she remembered that she had betrayed s confidence she could not quite admit to herself that she had a right to tell her father that it was he but he had guessed it it seemed impossible to do right perhaps there was no right and no wrong as said and a wish rose from the bottom of her heart that it might 