struck me that such marked pointed less to indifference than to some conclusion she had arrived at in her mind about me � and now i knew what that conclusion was it was good of you to give me this little time all to myself i said why surely she said for are we not friends and indeed it was that cold in the friendliness in her manner to me which i had found impossible to break down no i said quietly real friends do not believe bad things about one another what has been � has been she said coldly and proudly your very of anything out of the way in your relations with brings home violently to me the contrast between you english and our american men yes � and wrong is wrong � but it need not be made brutal i retorted the date on that letter was by � she is little enough i broke off savagely and love is a word we brutes of men soil daily in taking between our lips � but i have not written one line to her � i have not said one word of what we called love to her since i came from america � and at that moment the door opened and came in she must have seen by s and my disorder how unfortunate yet was it not most fortunate her appearance was and when after some conversation we left together she declared almost with tears that she could kick herself for coming at so mat d a moment you could not have served either of us a better turn i said i have no patience with you paul cried reproachfully you love � and at queen anne s she you � she supplies exactly the right for your secretly violent nature � i wonder if it can be that old affair of yours with that the latter so exploits she added her brows but is too proud a woman to be jealous � will you hail that for me no i should say jealousy is as absolutely wanting in the american woman as her sense of humour � both are so entirely with her dignity i said don t sneer flashed as she drove away and yet i said to myself as i turned into st james s park and threw an upward glance to s if she had not been jealous then pray what else and i knew now what only lately i had guessed how blinding sweet parts of could be how glorious she could be in love chapter xxiv they who forgive most shall be most forgiven s ill said a day or two after our visit to queen anne s he deserves to be i said he she said almost below her breath and indeed seldom as i saw him he seemed to change rapidly before my very eyes but he came into the drawing room oftener than formerly as if to assert himself and one day had the to ask why never called now and had laughed � there was such frank carelessness about her laugh it showed such entire from s influence or control that i saw him colour under it as from a visible slap in the face and it struck me that his punishment had begun that to know himself what he now was in her eyes inflicted the most wound on his vanity he had ever received in his life it was as if with the falling of the shield of i they who forgive most s belief in him a shield he had interposed between him and a world that affected to be blind as long as she was the man s vitality had been and a sharp attack of developing latent as we knew later had done the rest then who was nothing if not unexpected startled me and if he is going to be ill she said let her nurse him she has had all the best of his life well let her have the pieces then broke out into passionate weeping i shall take him away directly she said did not wish me to be absent from her ball and wanted me to see the last of her or we should have gone sooner he is quite willing � and again the tears poured down i wish she said i had never known � been forced to know i mean it was a big down to him � and it has done no good � it either turns a man into a in his own house or � or � breaks him up � the middle way of making him a better man is not for me � i am too myself � or for � he is too old to change it was true � i knew that nothing had mattered so long as his hearth was kept warm for him and his wife was his wife � it is curious how sensitive these men who all the home are to a breath of desertion the the manner of a servant even and on the rare occasions when i saw him his and his illness were equally apparent she turned away from me and stood at a window looking out on nothing and i am out most of the day and most nights enjoying myself � generous heart wanting to share her pleasures even with what had wronged her never could remember her injuries oh she almost whispered i could forgive it all � all � but for my lost baby � sometimes i long to steal one of my p � if there were any child of my own blood or s that i could adopt i would do but there is not i remained silent not looking at her for my eyes would have told too much an idea had been in my mind ever since told me his 