� my own reflections so cheerful � when i looked forward every thing so inviting � when i looked back at the picture so soothing � oh it was a blessed journey he stopped well sir said who though pitying him grew impatient for his departure and this is all all no � have you forgot what passed in town t that infamous letter did she show it you i yes i saw every note that passed when the first of hers reached me as it immediately did for i was in town the whole time what i felt is in the common phrase not to be expressed in a more simple one perhaps too simple to raise any emotion ray feelings were very very painful every line every word was � in the which their dear writer were she here would forbid � a dagger to my heart to know that was in town was in the same language a and what a reproof would she have given me her taste her opinions � i believe they are better known to me than my own and i am sure they are dearer s heart which had undergone many changes in the course of this extraordinary conversation was now softened again yet she felt it her duty to check such ideas in her companion as the last this is not right mr remember that you are married relate only what in your conscience you think necessary for me to hear m sense and sensibility s note by assuring me that i was still as dear to her as in days � that in spite of the many many weeks we had been separated she was as constant in her own feelings and as full of faith in the constancy of mine as ever � awakened all my remorse i say awakened because time and london business and had in some measure it and i had been growing a fine hardened villain myself to her and choosing to fancy that she too must have become indifferent to me talking to myself of our past attachment as a mere idle trifling business up my shoulders in proof of its being so and every reproach every scruple by secretly saying now and then i shall be heartily glad to hear she is well married but this note made me know myself better i felt that she was infinitely dearer to me than any other woman in the world and that i was using her but every thing was then just settled between miss grey and me to retreat was impossible all that i had to do was to avoid you both i sent no answer to intending by that means to preserve myself from her farther notice and for some time i was even determined not to call in street but at last judging it wiser to affect the air of a cool common acquaintance than any thing else i watched you all safely out of the house one morning and left my name watched us out of the house even so you would be surprised to hear how often i watched you how often i was on the point of falling in with you i have entered many a shop to avoid your sight as the carriage drove by lodging as i did in bond street there was hardly a day in which i did not catch a glimpse of one or other of you and nothing but the most constant on my side a most invariably prevailing desire to keep out of your sight could have separated us so long i avoided the as much as possible as well as every body else who was likely to prove an acquaintance in common not aware of their being in town however i on sir john i believe the first day of his coming and the day after i had called at mrs s he asked me to a party a dance at his house in the evening t a � sense sensibility had he not told me as an that you and your sister were to be there i should have felt it too certain a thing to trust myself near him the next morning brought another short note from � still open confiding � every thing that could make my conduct most hateful i could not answer it i tried � but could not frame a sentence but i thought of her i believe every moment of the day if you can pity me miss pity my situation as it was with my head and heart full of your sister i was forced to play the happy lover to another woman those three or four weeks were worse than all well at last as i need not tell you you were forced on me and what a sweet figure i cut what an evening of agony it was beautiful as an angel on one side calling in such a tone oh god holding out her hand to me asking me for an explanation with those eyes fixed in such speaking solicitude on my face and jealous as the devil on the other hand looking all that was � well it does not signify it is over now such an evening i ran away from you all as soon as i could but not before i had seen s sweet face as white as death was the last last look i ever had of her the last manner in which she appeared to me it was a horrid sight yet when i thought of her to day as really dying it was a kind of comfort to me to imagine that i knew exactly how she would appear to those who saw her last in this world she was before me constantly before me as i travelled in the same look and hue a short pause of mutual succeeded first rousing himself 