not an and distressing traitor to the faith of main street the settled citizen believes that the rebel is constantly m a of complaining and hearing of a he what an awful person she must lie a holy terror main street to live with glad my folks are satisfied things way they are it was not so much as five minutes a day that devoted to lonely desires it is probable that the agitated citizen has within his circle at least one inarticulate rebel with aspirations as as s the presence of the baby had made her take and the brown house seriously as natural places of residence she pleased by being friendly with the complacent maturity of mrs and mrs elder and when she had often enough been in conference upon the elders new car or the job which the oldest boy had taken in the office of the flour mill these topics became things to follow iq day by day with nine of her emotion concentrated upon she did not shops streets acquaintances this year or two she hurried to uncle s store for a of corn she listened to uncle s of martin for asserting that the wind last tuesday had been south and not she came back along streets that held no surprises nor the startling faces of strangers thinking of hu s all ihe way she did not reflect that this store these blocks made up all her background she did her work and she over winning from the at five the most considerable event of the two years after the birth of occurred when resigned from the high school and was married was her attendant and as the wedding was at the church all the women wore new kid slippers and long white kid gloves and looked refined for years had been little sister to and had never in the least known to what degree loved her and hated her and in curious strained ways was bound to her chapter xxi gray steel that seems because it so fast in the balanced fly wheel gray snow in an avenue of elms gray dawn with the sun behind it � this was the gray of s life at thirty nine she was small and active and sallow her yellow hair was faded and looked dry her blue silk and modest lace and high black shoes and sailor hats were as literal and as a desk but her eyes determined her appearance revealed her as a personage and a force indicated her faith in the goodness and purpose of everything they were blue and they were never still they expressed amusement pity enthusiasm if she had been seen in sleep with the wrinkles beside her eyes and the hiding the radiant she would have lost her she was born in a hill smothered village where her father was a minister she labored through a college she taught for two years in an iron range town of faced and and of ore and when she came to its trees and the shining of the wheat made her certain that she was in paradise she admitted to her fellow teachers that the was slightly damp but she insisted that the rooms were arranged so conveniently � and then that bust of president at the head of the stairs it s a lovely art work and isn t it an inspiration to have the brave honest martyr president to think about she taught french english and history and the latin class which dealt in matters of a nature called discourse and the absolute each year she was that the pupils were beginning to learn more quickly she spent four in building up the society and when the debate really was lively one friday afternoon and the of pieces did not forget their lines she felt rewarded main street she lived an engrossed useful life and seemed as cool and simple as an apple but secretly she was creeping among fears longing and guilt she knew what it was but she dared not name it she hated even the sound of the word sex when she dreamed of being a woman of the with great white warm limbs she awoke to shudder in dusk of her room she prayed to always to the son of god offering him the terrible power of her adoration addressing him as the eternal lover growing passionate exalted large as she contemplated his splendor thus she mounted to endurance and by day rattling about in many she was able to ridicule her blazing nights of darkness with cheerfulness she everywhere i guess i m a bom and no one will ever marry a plain am like me and you men great big noisy creatures we women wouldn t have you round the place up nice clean rooms if it wasn t that you have to be and guided we just ought to say to all of you but when a man held her close at a dance even when professor george patted her hand as they considered the of she quivered and reflected how superior she was to have kept her in the autumn of a year before dr will was married was his partner at a five hundred she was thirty four then about thirty six to her he was a superb boyish creature all the heroic qualities in a manly magnificent body they had been helping the hostess to serve the and coffee and they were in the kitchen side by side on a bench while the others in the room beyond was masculine and he s hand he put his arm carelessly about her shoulder don t she said sharply you re a cunning thing he offered patting the back of her in an manner while she strained away she longed to move nearer to him he bent over looked at her she glanced down at his left hand as it touched 