and wandering from babies who had but a week or two of life behind them to crooked old men and women who seemed to have but a week or two of life before them and from bodily carrying out soil of england on their boots to taking away of its and smoke upon their skins every age and occupation appeared to be crammed into the narrow compass of the decks as my eye glanced round this place i thought i saw sitting by an open port with one of the children near her a figure like s j it first attracted my attention by another figure parting from it with a kiss and as it glided calmly away through the disorder reminding me of � but in the rapid motion and confusion and in the of my own thoughts i lost it again and only knew that the time was come when all visitors were being warned to leave the ship that my nurse was crying on a chest beside me and that mrs the personal history and experience assisted by some younger stooping woman in black was busily arranging mr s goods is there any last r said he is there any one forgotten thing afore we parts one thing said i he touched the younger woman i have mentioned on the shoulder and stood before me heaven bless you you good man cried i you take her with you she answered for him with a burst of tears i could speak no more at that time bat i wrung his hand and if ever i have loved and honored any man i loved and honored that man in my soul the ship was clearing fast of strangers the greatest trial that i had remained i told him what the noble spirit that was gone had given me in charge to say at parting it moved him deeply but when he charged me in return with many messages of affection and regret for those deaf ears he moved me more the time was come i embraced him took my weeping nurse upon my arm and hurried away oh deck i took leave of poor mrs she was looking about for her family even then and her last words to me were that she never would desert mr we went over the side into our boat and lay at a little distance to see the ship on her course it was then calm radiant sunset she lay between us and the red light and every line and was visible against the glow a sight at once so beautiful so mournful and so hopeful as the glorious ship lying still on the flushed water with all the life on board her crowded at the and there for a moment bare headed and silent i never saw silent only for a moment as the sails rose to the wind and the ship began to move there broke from all the boats three cheers which those on board took up and echoed back and which were echoed and re echoed my heart burst out when i heard the sound and beheld the waving of the hats and handkerchiefs � and then i saw her then i saw her at her uncle s side and trembling on his shoulder he pointed to us with an eager hand and she saw us and waved her last to me aye beautiful and drooping cling to him with the utmost trust of thy bruised heart for he has clung to thee with all the might of his great love surrounded by the rosy light and standing high upon the deck apart together she clinging to him and he holding her they solemnly passed away the night had fallen on the hills when we were rowed ashore � and fallen darkly upon me of david chapter absence it was a long and gloomy night that gathered on me haunted by the ghosts of many hopes of many dear many errors many sorrows and regrets i went away from england not knowing even then how great the shock was that i had to bear i left all who were dear to me and went away and believed that i had borne it and it was past as a man upon a field of battle will receive a mortal hurt and scarcely know that he is struck so i when i was left alone with my heart had no conception of the wound with which it had to strive the knowledge came upon me not quickly but little by little and grain by grain the desolate feeling with which i went abroad deepened and at first it was a heavy sense of loss and sorrow wherein i could distinguish little else by degrees it became a hopeless consciousness of all that i had lost � love friendship interest of all that had been shattered � my first trust my first affection the whole airy castle of my life of all that remained � a ruined blank and waste lying wide around me unbroken to the dark horizon if my grief were selfish i did not know it to be so i mourned for my child taken from her blooming world so young i mourned for him who might have won the love and admiration of thousands as he had won mine long ago i mourned for the broken heart that had found rest in the stormy sea and for the wandering of the simple home where i had heard the night wind blowing when i was a child from the accumulated sadness into which i fell i had at length no hope of ever issuing again i from place to place carrying my burden with me everywhere t felt its whole weight now and i drooped beneath it and i said in my heart that it could never be lightened when this despondency was at its worst i believed that 