i know all about it trot and myself had quite a gossip while you were out with dick i know all about it i don t know where these wretched girls expect to go to for my part i wonder they don t knock out their brains against � against said my aunt an idea which was probably suggested to her by her contemplation of mine poor said i oh don t talk to me about poor returned my aunt she should m have thought of that before she caused so much misery me a kiss trot i am sorry for your early experience as i bent forward she put her on my knee to detain me and said oh trot trot and so you fancy yourself in love do you fancy aunt i exclaimed as red as i could be i her with my whole soul indeed returned my aunt and you mean to say the little thing is very fascinating i suppose my dear aunt i replied no one can form the least idea what she is f i ah and not silly said mv aunt silly aunt a a the personal history and experience i seriously believe it had never once entered my head for a single moment to consider whether she was or not i resented the idea of course but i was in a manner struck by it as a new one altogether not light headed said my aunt light headed aunt i could only repeat this daring speculation with the same kind of feeling with which i had repeated the preceding question well well said my aunt i only ask i don t her poor little couple and so you think you were formed for one another and are to go through a party supper table kind of life like two pretty pieces of do you trot she asked me this so kindly and with such a gentle air half playful and half sorrowful that i was quite touched we are young and inexperienced aunt i know i replied and i dare say we say and think a good deal that is rather foolish but we love one another truly i am sure if i thought could ever love anybody else or cease to love me or that i could ever love anybody else or cease to love her i don t know what i should do � go out of my mind i think ah trot said my aunt shaking her head and smiling gravely � blind blind some one that i know trot ray aunt pursued after a pause though of a very disposition has an earnestness of affection in him that reminds me of poor baby earnestness is what that somebody must look for to sustain him and improve him trot deep downright faithful earnestness if you only knew the earnestness of aunt i cried oh trot she said again blind blind and without knowing why i felt a vague unhappy loss or want of something me like a cloud however said my aunt i don t want to put two young creatures out of conceit with themselves or to make them unhappy so though it is a girl and boy attachment and girl and boy very often � mind i don t say always � come to nothing still we be serious about it and hope for a prosperous issue one of these days there s time enough for it to come to anything this was not upon the whole very comforting to a lover but i was glad to have my aunt in my confidence and i was of her being fatigued so i thanked her for this mark of her affection and for all her other towards me and after a tender good night she took her into my bedroom how miserable i was when i lay down how i thought and thought about my being poor in mr s eyes about my not being what i thought i was when i proposed to about the necessity of telling what my worldly condition was and her from her engagement if she thought fit about how i should contrive to live during the long term of my articles when i was earning nothing about doing something to assist my aunt and seeing no way of doing anything about coming down to have no money in my pocket and to wear a shabby coat and to be able to carry no little presents and to ride no gallant and to show myself in no agreeable light sordid and selfish as i knew it was and as i tortured myself by knowing that it was of david to let my mind run on my own distress so much i was so devoted to that i could not help it i knew that it was base in me not to think more of my aunt and less of myself but so far selfishness was inseparable from and i could not put on one side for any mortal creature how exceedingly miserable i was that night as to sleep i had dreams of poverty in all sorts of shapes but t seemed to dream without the previous ceremony of going to sleep now was ragged wanting to sell matches six bundles for a now i was at the office in a and boots remonstrated with by mr on appearing before the in that airy attire now i was picking up the that fell from old s daily regularly eaten when saint paul s struck one now i was hopelessly endeavouring to get a license to marry having nothing but one of s gloves to in exchange which the whole rejected and still more or less conscious of my own room i was always tossing about like a distressed ship in a sea of bed clothes my aunt was restless too for i frequently heard her walking to and fro two or three times 