place up nice clean rooms if it wasn t that you have to be and guided we just ought to say to all of you but when a man held her close at a dance even when george patted her hand as they considered the of she quivered and reflected how superior she was to have kept her in the autumn of a year before dr wiu was married was his partner at a five she was thirty four then about thirty six to her he was a superb boyish creature all the heroic qualities in a manly magnificent body they had been helping the hostess to serve the and coffee and they were in the kitchen side by side cm a bench while the others in the room beyond was masculine and he s hand he put his arm carelessly about her shoulder tl she said sharply you re a cunning thing he offered patting the back of her shoulder in an manner while she strained away she longed to move nearer to him he bent over looked at her she glanced down at his left hand as it touched her knee she sprang up started and to wash the dishes he helped her he was too lazy to adventure further � and too used to women in his profession she was grateful for the of his talk it enabled her to gain control she knew that she had skirted wild thoughts a month after on a party under the robes in the bob he whispered you pretend to be a but you re nothing but a his arm was about her she resisted don t you like the poor lonely bachelor he in a way no i don t you don t care for me in the least you re just on me you re so mean i m terribly fond of you fm not of you and i m not going to let myself be fond of you either he persistently drew her toward him she clutched his arm then she threw off the robe climbed out of the after it with harry at the dance which followed the ride was devoted to the watery of and was interested in getting up a virginia without seeming to watch she knew that he did not once look at her that was all of her first love affair he gave no sign of remembering that he was fond she waited for him she in longing and in a sense of guilt because she longed she told that she did not want part of him unless he gave her all his devotion she would never let him touch her and when she found that she was probably lying she burned with scorn she fought it out in prayer she knelt in a pink flannel her thin hair down her back her forehead as full of horror as a mask of tragedy while she identified her love for the son of god with her love for a mortal and wondered if any other woman had ever been so she wanted to be a and observe perpetual adoration she bought a but she had been so reared as a that could not bring herself to use it yet none of her in the school and in the knew of her abyss of passion they said she was so when she heard that was to marry a girl pretty young and from the cities she congratulated carelessly ascertained from him the hour of marriage at that hour sitting in her room pictured the wedding in st paul full of an ecstasy which her she followed and the girl who had stolen her place followed them to the train the evening the night she was relieved when she had worked out a belief that she wasn t really shameful that there was a relation between herself and so that she was yet with and had the right to be she saw during the first five minutes in she stared at the passing at and the girl beside him in that fog of of emotion had no normal jealousy but a conviction that since through she had received s love then was a part of her an self a heightened and more beloved self she was glad of the girl s charm of the smooth black main street hair the head and young shoulders but she was suddenly angry glanced at her for a quarter second but looked past her at an old roadside bam if she had made the great sacrifice at least she expected gratitude and recognition raged while her conscious mind her to control this insanity during her first half of her wanted to welcome a fellow reader of books the other half to find out whether knew anything about s former interest in herself she discovered that was not aware that he had ever touched another woman s hand was an amusing curiously learned child while was most describing the glories of the and this on her training as a she was that this girl was the child bom of herself and and out of that she had a comfort she had not known for months when she came home after supper with the and she had a sudden and rather from devotion s ie into her room she her hat on the bed and i don t care i m a lot like except a few years older i m light and quick too and i can talk just as well as she can and i m sure men are such fools i d be ten times as sweet to make love to as that dreamy baby and i am as good looking but as she sat on the bed and stared at her thin defiance away she mourned no i m not dear god how we fool ourselves i pretend i m spiritual i pretend my legs are graceful 