is none that in one i can smile at half so much and think of half so tenderly chapter xxx y my aunt me i wrote to as soon as and i were engaged i wrote her a long letter in which i tried to make her comprehend how i was and what a darling was i entreated not to regard this as a thoughtless passion which could ever yield to any other or had the least resemblance to the boyish fancies that we used to joke about i assured her that its was quite and expressed my belief that nothing like it had ever been known somehow as i wrote to on a fine evening by my open window and the remembrance of her clear calm eyes and gentle face came stealing over me it shed such a peaceful influence upon the hurry and agitation in which i had been living lately and of which my very happiness partook in some degree that it soothed me into tears i remember that i sat resting my head upon my hand when the letter was half done a general fancy as if were one of the elements of my natural home as if in the retirement of the house made almost sacred to me by her presence and i must be happier than anywhere as if in love joy sorrow hope or disappointment in all emotions my heart turned naturally there and found its refuge and best friend of i said nothing i only told her there had been sad grief at on account of s flight and that on me it made a op david double wound by reason of the circumstances attending it i knew how quick she always was to divine the truth and that she would never be the first to breathe his name to this letter i received an answer by return of post as i read it i seemed to hear speaking to me it was like her cordial voice in my ears what can i say more while i had been away from home lately had called twice or thrice finding within and being informed by who always volunteered that information to would receive it that she was my old nurse he had established a good humoured acquaintance with her and had stayed to have a little chat with her about me so said but i am afraid the chat was all on her own side and of length as she was very difficult indeed to stop god bless her when she had me for her theme this reminds me not only that i expected on a certain afternoon of his own which was now come but that mrs had resigned everything to her office the salary until should cease to present herself mrs after holding divers conversations respecting in a very high pitched voice on the staircase � with some invisible familiar it would appear for speaking she was quite alone at those times � addressed a letter to me developing her views beginning it with that statement of universal application which fitted every occurrence of her life namely that she was a mother herself she went on to inform me that she had once seen very different days but that at all periods of her existence she had had a constitutional objection to and she named no names she said let them the cap fitted wear it but and especially in weeds this was she had ever accustomed herself to look down upon if a gentleman was the victim of and but still no names that was his own pleasure he had a right to please himself so let him do all that she mrs for was that she should not be brought in contract with such persons therefore she begged to be excused from any further attendance on the top set until things was as they formerly was and as they could be wished to be and further mentioned that her little book would be found upon the breakfast table every saturday morning when she requested an immediate settlement of the same with the benevolent view of saving trouble and an ill to all parties after this mrs confined herself to making on the stairs principally with and endeavouring to into breaking her legs i found it rather to live in this state of siege but was too much afraid of mrs to see any way out of it my dear cried appearing at my door in spite of all these obstacles how do you do my dear said i i am delighted to see you at last and very sorry i have not been at home before but i have been so much engaged yes yes i know said of course your s lives in london i think the personal history and experience what did you say she � excuse me � miss d you know said colouring in his great delicacy lives in london i believe oh yes near london mine perhaps you recollect said with a serious look lives down in � one of ten consequently i am not so much engaged as you � in that sense i wonder you can bear i returned to see her so seldom said thoughtfully it does seem a wonder i suppose it is because there s no help for it i suppose so i replied with a smile and not without a blush and because you have so much constancy and patience dear me said considering about it do i strike you in that way really i didn t know that i had but she is such an dear girl herself that it s possible she may have imparted something of those virtues to me now you mention it i shouldn t wonder at all i assure you she is always forgetting herself and taking care of the other nine is she the eldest i inquired oh dear no said 