or pity or suspense in her affection that i summoned the stronger determination to show her a perfectly cheerful face and what is more trot � said my aunt yes of david i think is going to be married god bless her said i god bless her said my aunt and her husband too i echoed it parted from my aunt went lightly down stairs mounted and rode away there was greater reason than before to do what i had resolved to do how well i recollect the wintry ride the frozen of ice brushed from the blades of grass by the wind and borne across my face the hard clatter of the horse s hoofs beating a tune upon the ground the stiff soil the snow drift lightly in the chalk pit as the breeze ruffled it the smoking team with the of old hay stopping to breathe on the hill top and shaking their bells the slopes and sweeps of down land lying against the dark sky as if they were drawn on a huge slate i found alone the little girls had gone to their own homes now and she was alone by the fire reading she put down her book on seeing me come in and having welcomed me as usual took her and sat in one of the old fashioned windows i sat beside her on the window seat and we talked of what i was doing and when it would be done and of the progress i had made since my last visit was very cheerful and predicted that i should soon become too famous to be talked to on such subjects so i make the most of the present time you see said and talk to you while i may as i looked at her beautiful face observant of her work she raised her mild clear eyes and saw that i was looking at her you are thoughtful to day shall i tell you what about i came to tell you she put aside her work as she was used to do when we were seriously discussing anything and gave me her whole attention my dear do you doubt my being true to you no she answered with a look of astonishment do you doubt my being what i always have been to you no she answered as before do you remember that i tried to tell you when i came home what a debt of gratitude i owed you dearest and how fervently i felt towards you i remember it she said gently very well you have a secret said i let me share it she cast down her eyes and trembled i could hardly fail to know even if i had not heard � but from other lips than yours which seems strange � that there is some one upon whom you have bestowed the treasure of your love do not shut me out of what concerns your happiness so nearly if you can trust me as you say you can and as i know you may let me be your friend your brother in this matter of all others with an appealing almost a glance she rose from the window and hurrying across the room as if without knowing where put her hands before her face and burst into such tears as smote me to the heart and yet they awakened something in me bringing promise to my heart re the personal history and experience without my knowing why these tears allied themselves with the quietly sad smile which was so fixed in my remembrance and shook me more with hope than fear or sorrow sister dearest what have i done let me go away i am not well i am not myself i will speak to you by and by � another time i will write to you don t speak to me now don t don t i sought to recollect what she had said when i had spoken to her on that former night of her affection no return it seemed a very world that i must search through in a moment i cannot bear to see you so and think that i have been the cause my dearest girl dearer to me than anything in life if you are unhappy let me share your if you are in need of help or counsel let me try to give it to you if you have indeed a burden on your heart let me try to it for whom do i live now if it is not for you oh spare me i am not myself another time was all i could distinguish was it a selfish error that was leading me away or having once a clue to hope was there something opening to me that i had not dared to think of i must say more i cannot let you leave me so for heaven s sake let us not mistake each other after all these years and all that has come and gone with them i must speak plainly if you have any lingering thought that i could envy the happiness you will confer that i could not resign you to a dearer protector of your own choosing that i could not from my removed place be a contented witness of your joy dismiss it for i don t deserve it i have not suffered quite in vain you have not taught me quite in vain there is no of self in what i feel for you she was quiet now in a little time she turned her pale face towards me and said in a low voice broken here and there but very clear i owe it to your pure friendship for me � which indeed i do not doubt � to tell you you are mistaken i can do no more if i have sometimes in the course of years wanted help and 