the shell of me that goes out to take up the new j the magic wheel appointment he then went on to give me various details which he thought would amuse me of the passengers on board the and also many little remarks about the various officials on board of her it s all dead sea fruit and hollow without you he went on but god be praised i started life with a blessed sense of humour i don t know that it is as keen as yours dearest but like all other brilliant people when you go down you go down to the very lowest depths i suppose it is always so � the higher the heights the deeper the shadows in the lowest depths i could never rise to your height of or of appreciation and although i am as down in the mouth without you as a man can very well be i could never sink to the same abyss of depression which from time to time takes hold of you do try my precious child to cultivate your sense of the ludicrous to cultivate your gift of humour do try to prevent yourself slipping down into those depths of depression which i feel convinced are threatening you now whatever happens to me remember that with my last breath i shall speak of you with my last conscious thought i shall loss of the think of you don t trouble about the present only try to keep yourself well and strong and your eyes fixed upon that blessed time not so far ahead after all when we shall be together once more i felt i knew that his words were with sound common sense i suppose one cannot help one s nature had always told me that he never knew a woman who could be made so happy by ha penny as myself where some women he said to me one day would want diamonds you are made contented and happy to the highest degree by something that has cost well that was a blessing in a way but i was like everybody else of my nature � i did sink down from time to time into the lowest depths of mental woe i do not mean that there was any danger of my losing my brain oh dear no but life did look blank to me when it did not look bright and how could it look bright when he whom i loved had gone over the other side of the world or very nearly so however after i had that letter from my husband i did make a great effort to be as bright j the magic wheel and cheerful as i had been before time my mother noticed the change in me you are feeling better she said to me one day oh yes mother i am feeling much better ah i knew you would get over it � that first terrible feeling of depression don t yourself dear child that s the great thing do a little work in reason but don t let yourself get red hot over your new story if you do i am afraid you will your strength more than you should do by the bye i am going into to day i must go because i have to try on a dress for my sins and there are other things to do i promised to go and have tea with lady you ll go with me darling won t you oh yes mother i should like to go so when we had which we did rather early we went off to in the carriage together i did not go to the s with my mother but while she was occupied with her i me to a certain shop there to complete the purchases which loss of the necessary for the little arrival whose coming was not now so far distant when you have finished at the shop said my mother as i put her down at the s door come back to me here the carriage will wait with you miss green is never less than three quarters of an hour so it will give you time enough thus it happened that i was driving through the streets of alone when my eye was caught by a great outside a s shop and on the i read � great disaster at sea of the chapter vi once to have touch i called to the coachman to stop i want a paper william i said he backed the horses so that the was close against the stone i beckoned to a boy who had a bundle of papers under his arm to leave me one i gave him the money and signed to william that he might drive on i literally tore open the paper � terrible disaster at sea total loss of the i just saw those great black letters dancing up and down and then everything faded away and i believe i fainted the motion of the carriage and the air quickly brought me to myself again i was still holding the open paper but for the life of me i could not see the words when we turned the corner of the street in which the lived i saw my mother come out of the house evidently looking to see if we were coming once to have touch my dear child what is the matter she exclaimed as the carriage drew up i was speechless she with that quick instinct which all mothers have knew that some terrible trouble had befallen me she got into the carriage hastily and took the paper out of my hands my god she exclaimed under her breath oh my poor child � my poor child perhaps it isn t true what did i tell you i knew mother i� get me home home william straight she called drive fast never 