is there yes and so may any mortal who is capable of full sympathy and therefore worthy to come into my depths but he must by ic i american note books find his own way i can neither guide nor him it is this involuntary reserve i suppose that has given the to my writings and when people think that i am pouring myself out in a tale or an essay i am merely telling what is common to human nature not what is peculiar to myself i with them not they with me i have recently been both about and preached about here in my native city the preacher was rev mr fox of port but how he contrived to put me into a sermon i know not i trust he took for his text behold an indeed in whom there is no march ti � that poor home how desolate it is now last night being awake my thoughts travelled back to the lonely old and it seemed as if i were wandering up stairs and down stairs all by myself my fancy was almost afraid to be there alone i could see every object in a dim gray light � our chamber the study all in confusion the with the fragments of that breakfast on the table and the precious silver forks and the old bronze image keeping its solitary stand upon the then the wretched came and jumped upon the window sill and clung there with her fore for which i could not grant her being there myself only in the spirit and then came the ghost of the old doctor through the gallery and down the staircase and peeping into the parlor and though i was wide awake and con vol ii by v z z american note books of being so many miles from tbe spot still it was quite awful to think of tbe ghost having sole possession of our home for i could not quite separate myself from it after all somehow the doctor and i seemed to be there a i believe i did not have any about the ghostly kitchen maid but i trust mary left the flat irons within her reach so that she may do all her while we are away and never disturb us more at midnight i suppose she comes thither to iron her and perhaps likewise to smooth the doctor s band probably during her lifetime she allowed him to go to some or other grand with linen and ever since and throughout all earthly at least as long as the house shall stand she is doomed to exercise a nightly toil with a spiritual flat iron poor sinner � and doubtless satan the irons for her what nonsense is all this but really it does make me shiver to think of that poor home of ours march th � as for this mr i wish he would not be so troublesome his scheme is well enough and might possibly become popular but it has no peculiar advantages with reference to myself nor do the subjects of his proposed books particularly suit my fancy as to write upon somebody else will answer his purpose just as well and i would rather write books of my own imagining than be hired to develop the ideas of an especially as the pecuniary prospect is not better nor so good as it might be elsewhere i intend to to my former plan of writing one or by v ic american note books two story books to be published under s in new york � which is the only place where books can be published with a chance of profit as a matter of courtesy i may call on mr � if i have time but i do not intend to be connected with this affair sunday april ta � after finishing my record in the journal i sat a long time in grandmother s chair thinking of many things my spirits were at a lower ebb than they ever descend to when i am not alone nevertheless neither was i absolutely sad many times i wound and mr s little but certainly its peculiar sweetness had and i am pretty sure that i should throw it out of the window were i doomed to hear it long and often it has not an infinite soul when it was almost as dark as the moonlight would let it be i lighted the lamp and went on with s tale slowly and painfully often wishing for help in my difficulties at last i determined to learn a little about and before proceeding further and so took up the phrase book with which i was busy when at about a quarter to nine came a knock at my study door and behold there was with a letter how she came by it i did not ask being content to suppose it was brought by a heavenly messenger i had not expected a letter and what a comfort it was to me in my loneliness and i called to take her note enclosed which she received with a face of delight as broad and bright as the kitchen fire then i read and re read and re r read by ic american note books and and re read my until i had it all by heart and then continued to re read it for the sake of the then i took up the phrase book again but could not study and so bathed and retired it being now not far from ten o clock i lay awake a good deal in the night but saw no ghost i arose about seven and found that the upper part of my nose and the region round about was and at the angle of the left eye there is a great spot of almost black purple and a broad streak of the same hue beneath 