story but the time had not yet come for me to reveal it to nor could i do so without s consent yet as i thought of su s boy a laughing rascal fresh as the morning such as might have been but for the stain in him � perhaps was in his youth who knows my heart beat faster for a joy that might yet come into her life and the boy s mother was a good girl � she had committed no long base treachery against � if she had loved anyone it was and they who forgive most the years she had spent with him had surely made remote the misfortune of so many years ago paul said my theory is that it s all planned out for us with if any free will � the very good or ill we do is meant to bring out good or ill in others in short we fulfil our destiny god s orders not our wishes and duty is the short cut to happiness after all � pleasure the long way round where we lose our way brave i said and touched her hand but you throw away your life s happiness she said mournfully follow your star � which is i did not answer � my heart was very sore � a great longing came over me to put my head down on her shoulder and shed the tears that nothing had been able to make since my boyhood for i had thrown away the sweet of life � love and kisses and home intellectual and congenial company for ae empty of tom s trust � a trust of which i already saw the th� folly the crime � and if and i were both suffering she had a clear conscience which i had not what is it dear she said anxiously and at that moment came in and startled me into of self for though it was only a fortnight since i had seen him yet the man had shrunk even in that time his so the clothes looked empty his face was yellow his hand struck chill as i touched it � and i knew well what that peculiar meant � knew that blame was wasted on now for approaching death was putting into him all the wisdom life had never taught him went out of the room somehow we both knew she was not coming back and as we sat by the open window looking out on the flower filled in balcony it was the first time we had been alone together for years the is not worth the candle he said quietly as if in continuance of a former conversation it doesn t pay no it doesn t pay i said grimly i was badly brought up had worse associates later who taught that it was the correct thing to run as many women out of sight of each other as i could afford oh drop it i cried savagely i am not treating you to this bond street on a saturday afternoon of my emotions to please myself he said so perhaps you will let me proceed i loved i love her still � she is the only really good woman i ever knew in my life the good women don t count and as my doctor gives me three months at the outside i am anxious about her future why she is precisely the type of woman to choose i they who forgive most the wrong man twice over � and if she neither she nor he will ever forget that he loved her during my lifetime � and it will probably occur to that he may love another woman during hers so he had been jealous of all along just as i thought well she will not marry � at least that is my impression but should she go farther and fare worse � you and your brother tried to stop her marriage with me � i look to you to do so in reality if she again chooses � as bad as i am that would be difficult but not impossible � though no one is so really bad as your really good people say i may be wrong � but i do not think she will marry again still things are more even than they appear � if i have apparently had all the sweet and the sour it is i who am dying early a failure knowing it � and she who having bravely endured all things will be free still a young woman of all the gods can give says mistake that which limits life for life itself � but i hold to my mistake if one it be and do not expect to be given a fresh chance in a future state for i believe that man only can on earth immortal be a comfortable theory i said and the one shared by most wrong must surely be a more serious consideration to think that if we wrong another both the wrong and the wronged may reap through countless ages the consequences of their actions than to believe that for both it will be in a few short years as if the act had never occurred he did not trouble to argue the point i wish our child had lived he said it was probably the nearest approach to a confession he ever made which child i said for in a flash the resolve had come to me to speak to him � i might myself be removed before he was it would be madness to leave things to chance i could do it without bringing into it i thought s child and mine he said s i said he started the yellow of his face became you mean there was no child he is ten years old i said you may thank your stars if 