to along the streets vaguely abashed instead of walking erect among your fellow men in independent ease � this is the sort of poverty i mean this is the grinding curse that keeps down noble under a load of care this is the moral that eats into the heart of an otherwise well human creature and makes him envious and malignant and inclined to the use of when he sees the fat idle woman of society passing by in her luxurious carriage back lazily her face with the purple and red signs of superfluous eating � when he the and man of fashion smoking and away the hours in the park as if all the world and its millions of honest hard workers were created solely for the casual diversion of the so called upper classes � then the good blood in him turns to and his suffering spirit rises in fierce rebellion crying out � why in god s name should this injustice be why should a worthless have his pockets full of gold by the sorrows of satan mere chance and while i toiling wearily from till midnight afford myself a satisfying meal why indeed i why should the wicked flourish like a green bay tree i have often thought about it now however i believe i could help to solve the problem out of my own personal experience but such an experience who credit it who will believe that anything so strange and terrific ever chanced to the lot of a mortal man no one yet it is true � truer than much so called truth moreover i know that many men are living through many such incidents as have occurred to me under precisely the same influence conscious perhaps at times that they are in the of sin but too weak of will to break the net in which they have become voluntarily imprisoned will they be taught i wonder the lesson i have learned in the same bitter school under the same formidable will they realize as i have been forced to do � aye to the very of my in i perception � the vast individual active mind which behind all matter works though silently a very eternal and positive god if so then dark problems will become clear to them and what seems injustice in the world will prove pure but i do not write with any hope of either p ng or my fellow men i know their obstinacy too well r can it by my own my proud belief in myself was at one time not to be by any human on the face of the globe and i am aware that others are in similar case i merely intend to relate the various incidents of my career in due order exactly as they happened � leaving to more confident heads the business of and answering the of human existence as best they may f during a certain bitter winter long remembered for its severity when a great wave of intense cold spread influences not alone over the happy of britain but throughout all europe i tempest was alone in london and well nigh starving now a starving man seldom the sorrows of satan gets the sympathy he merits � so few can be persuaded to believe in him worthy folks who have just fed to are the most incredulous some of them being even moved to smile when told of existing hungry people much as if these were occasional invented for after dinner amusement or with that of attention which fashionable folk to such an extent that when asking a question they neither wait for the answer nor understand it when given the well dined groups hearing of some one starved to death will idly murmur how dreadful and at once turn to the discussion of the latest for killing time ere it takes to killing them with sheer the pronounced fact of being hungry sounds coarse and common and is not a topic for polite society which always eats more than sufficient for its needs at the period i am speaking of however i who have since been one of the most envied of men knew the cruel meaning of the word hunger too well � the pain the sick the deadly stupor the animal craving for mere food all of which sensations are frightful enough to those who are unhappily daily to them but which when they one who has been tenderly reared and brought up to consider himself a gentleman � god save the mark are perhaps still more painful to bear and i felt that i had not deserved to suffer the wretchedness in which i found myself i had worked hard from the time my father died leaving me to discover that every penny of the fortune i imagined he possessed was due to and that nothing of all our house and estate was left to me except a miniature of my mother who had lost her own life in giving me birth � from that time i say i had put my shoulder to the wheel and toiled late and early i had turned my university education to the only use for which it or i seemed fitted � literature i had sought for on almost every journal in london � refused by many taken on trial by some but getting steady pay from none whoever seeks to live by brain and pen alone is at the beginning i the sorrows of satan of such a career treated as a sort of social nobody wants him � everybody him his efforts are his are flung back to him and he is less cared for than the condemned murderer in the murderer is at least fed and clothed � a worthy clergyman visits him and his will occasionally condescend to play cards with him but a man gifted with original thoughts and the power of 