twas often said that i resembled much my face was and my hair was red � the kind of looking boy that men call � i � kind deeds however were my constant in everything i did the best i could i said my prayers thrice daily and i sought in all my ways to do the right and good on i d do my monday s sums while jim would spend the day in search of fun he d away and steal the neighbor s and strange to say to earth was never run whilst i when study time was through would seek my brother in the neighbor s orchard would find the neighbor there with anger blue and a� the would be tortured tlie sums i d done he d steal this lad forsaken then change my work so that a paltry four would be my mark whilst he had overtaken the and all the bore the new york library as on i no and till to � a t in later years we loved the self same maid we sent her little presents sweets for which alas twas i that always paid and jim the maid now honors and we entered politics � in and for a minor office each did run twas i was left � left badly at the because of things that jim had done it when jim went into business and failed i signed his notes and freed him from the strife which and ruin hath on them that lead a queer financial life then i learned that jim had set aside before his failure � hard to tell � a half a million dollars on his pet � his mrs jim � the former lovely � that wearied me of jim it may be right for one to bear another s cross but i quite fail to see it in its proper light if that s the rule man should be guided by and since a fate perverse has had the wit to mix us up so that the one s deserts upon the shoulders of the other sit no matter how the other one it hurts i am resolved to take some mortal s life just when or where or how i do not so long as law will end horrid strife and twist my dear twin brother s sinful neck there said the idiot putting down the manuscript how s that i don t like it said mr it is and you should accept the hardships of life no matter how unjust the conclusion of your poem me sir i � have you tried your hand at dialect poetry asked the doctor yes once said the idiot i sent it to the great western weekly oh yes here it is sent back with thanks it s an written in cigar box dialect in wh a at asked the poet box dialect here it is o especial h clay invincible el victoria � o grand � o you drive all my sorrows away r e new yo k library t x and r l ingenious but vicious said the school master who does not smoke again thanks how is this for a said the idiot when to the of sweet silent thought i summon up remembrance of things past i sigh the lack of many a thing i sought and with old woes new wail my dear time s waste then can i drown an eye unused to flow for precious friends hid in death s night and weep afresh love s long since d woe and moan the expense of many a vanish d sight then can i grieve at and heavily from woe to woe tell o er the sad account of fore moan which i now pay as if not paid before but if the while i think of thee dear friend all losses are restored and sorrows end it is said the school master the poet smiled quietly perfect repeated the school master and only shows how in weak hands so beautiful a thing as the can be made ridiculous what s wrong with it asked the idiot it doesn t contain any thought � or if it does no one can tell what the thought is your are your is ridiculous the whole thing is bad you ll never get anybody to print it i do not intend to try said the idiot meekly you are wise said the school master to take my advice for once it is not your advice that me said the idiot it is the fact that this has been printed in the name of where cried the school master in tlie collected works of william shakespeare the idiot quietly the poet laughed mrs s eyes filled with tears and the school master for once had absolutely nothing to say xi do you believe mr said the idiot taking his place at the table and holding his plate up to the light apparently to see whether or not it was the landlady � do you believe that the love of money is the root of all evil i have always been of that impression returned mr pleasantly in fact i am sure of it he added there is no evil thing in this world sir that cannot be traced back to a point where is found to be its main spring and the source of its strength then how do you reconcile this with the story of the forbidden fruit do you think the apples referred to were figures of speech the true import of which was that adam and eve had their on the original well of course there you begin to � ah � you seem to me to be going back to the � er � the � ah � original root of all evil prompted the idiot calmly precisely returned mr with a sigh of relief mrs 