“Dungeon Meshi is such a fascinating read. It starts off with a somewhat silly tone and premise but it just keeps spinning into something much more complex and it’s so poignant with it's themes. About abuse, living, surviving . People and their relationship to the world. The characters are all so wonderfully deep and fleshed out. Every character, even the minor ones feel relevant and contribute to the whole of the story. And it manages to be so charming the whole time, it’s never dull, or too dark to not make you laugh and it’s so beautifully illustrated.” 

It’s so nice to enjoy a break with the girls, having snacks and drinks. My regaling of Dungeon Meshi is having mixed results though.

Loretta blinks slowly, she has been listening, but I’m not sure she is really listening . “That sounds neat Claire-chan.”

Pepi groans and pools on the table, “The Otaku ruined her…”

“It’s not that bad…” Loretta says.

“Whatever do you mean?”

“I can’t believe you are talking about an anime . Anime !”

“Manga, I haven’t watched the anime version. Rae said we could once I finish.”

“God that's worse.” Pepi practically exhales the statement.

“I… it’s an excellent read.” I don’t appreciate her tone.

“It’s otaku stuff!”

“I don’t see the problem.”

“Yah, it’s not really that bad. I’ve watched a few Shonen stuff.” See! Loretta doesn’t think it’s so bad!

“Are you kidding me?” Oh, Pepi looks thoroughly repulsed, “That’s like for stupid teenage boys!”

Loretta blushes, “What? It’s not that bad, it’s… like fun and stuff.”

Pepi just makes another face at her, I think she might be reconsidering her attraction at this moment.

“Come now Pepi, fine art is not restricted to a specific medium. And traditional writings are not except from rubbish quality.”

“Sure, but anime is like… you know?”

“No?”

“Are you for real? You would have never even thought about it before.” She’s not really answering the question.

“Okay, and I would have been wrong. And I would have never read Dungeon Meshi before, which would have been tragic."

“It can't be that good .” What is so hard to believe about this.

“I disagree, it is.” I’ve been talking a lot about it haven't I? I feel parched and could use another sip of my tea. “I can’t speak of the quality of manga, or anime in general. I still have a few volumes left of Dungeon Meshi before I would consider something else after all, but Rae has been quick to say that the medium is full of examples of great and equally atrocious works. If anything, that is the case of all mediums in my experience.”

“I’ve seen bits online, the anime does look funny.” Loretta says.

“Can you stop?” Pepi groans at Loretta’s further perceived exacerbations.

“Jeez.” Loretta pouts and looks away.

Pepi, treat your wife better than that!

“Look, I’m sure if you gave it a try you might like it too? Why not watch it with Loretta?”

Pepi’s eyes quickly narrow at me, I can see she sees my suggestion for what it is. And what are you going to do about it, Pepi?

“Look I’m not watching that fantasy otaku crap, and there is no way Loretta-chan wants to either.”

“I… Oh?” Loretta sounds dejected at the rejection. See!?I

“What?”

“I don’t know… I would have if you wanted to if…”

“Wait? Did you want to watch it?”

“I don’t know… maybe?” Loretta averts her gaze down and to the side, a little self-conscious. “Claire-chan says it’s good, and it might be fun to watch it together.”

“Why don’t we just watch something else?” It sounds like Pepi is almost pleading with Loretta, this is fascinating to watch.

“God, if you suggest another drama… come on! Haven’t you caught me falling asleep to those at least twice now.”

“I… those were just slower-”

“I don’t want to watch another drama . I’m not saying I want to watch anime , but I don’t know… this might be fun. I used to watch some with my brother when we were kids and like… Come on Claire said it’s good. It’s not like she would say that about anything.”

“She didn’t ever talk about anything before!”

“Yah, well this is better!”

“It’s better that she's talking about anime?”

“God Pepi, look no one fucking cares here anymore. Like even Claire lightened up! I like this better. Like sure high school sucked; I was never girly enough, Why are you so muscular, you're too tall, are you even wearing makeup? Fuck, I’m sick of that of that shit, and now people here don’t have the same stick up their ass.”

“ I like how muscular you are.” Pepi just barely mumbles.

“Huh?”

“Nothing, it’s not like you had a monopoly on bull shit. You know how often I got treated as poor? Because Poppa never expanded his business? He could have, but he didn’t want to, he was happy running one location, and it was very successful but that’s not what everyone thought.”

“I know, it sucked.”

“Yes!” Pepi seems like she is fighting, but it’s met with no resistance. Loretta is agreeing.

“And like… it’s over.”

“Yes Pepi-chan, it’s different now. I wish I did more… but it’s better now isn't it? I feel better.”

“I think it’s better.” Loretta adds.

“But… I don’t know… I… everything wasn’t supposed to change this much…”

“Not all change is bad.” I sympathize, a lot must have changed. Not even considering my drastic shift.

“Yah! I want to watch the anime. Come on Pepi….” Loretta focuses on Pepi.

Pepi swallows, oh there is such a need to reject on her face, but she really doesn’t want to say no to Loretta either.

“Just think, you could watch it together, Pepi-chan.” Just accept it, Pepi.

“Ugh, fine , we can watch one episode tonight, but if it sucks I’m not watching another.”

“That’s not fair, you made me watch so many stupid dramas, I can’t even remember their names.”

“One” Pepie repeats.

“I don't think you even liked half of them! The guys are always so dull.”

“It wasn’t about liking the guys. We had to know what people were talking about Loretta!”

“I’d rather know what Claire is talking about.” Loretta huffs in annoyance. 

“Aawww, Loretta.” That’s so sweet of her. That, however, causes her to blush fiercely. Oh, right . She fidgets with arm as it washes over her. 

“ Are you fucking serious .” Pepi mumbles under her breath, apologies Pepi. She exhales, “We start with one.”

Loretta cools down a bit and eyes Pepi, “Fine, but if you like it we will watch more.”

“ If ”

Loretta pumps her fist in victory, “We watch it tonight then.”

Pepi groans, “Only if you buy me good snacks. I want ice cream. Häagen-Dazs ”

Loretta shrugs, “Sure. It’s a date.”

“Right…” There is the barest blush on Pepi, you should just ask her already.

“You okay there Pepi.” See , you haven’t even been subtle about it recently, even Loretta is noticing it.

“Claire-chan, so what’s going on with you and that otaku anyways… she said you went on a date. You aren’t really…” Pepi is attempting to steer the conversation away from herself.

“Yeah…” And of course it works on Loretta.

Oh well , “Dating you mean?” 

“Yah?”

“Between just us, yes, it's really happening. Nothing has changed. She doesn’t want to be out about it yet.”

“Hmm, okay.” Pepi is rolling the idea around in her head. She’s not particularly fond of it.

“So, you’re actually dating her?” Loretta asks, she sounds a little dejected, but whatever edge there was directed at Rae before seems to have dulled significantly. “It’s weird.”

“Yah.” Pepi echoes, eager to be aligned with Loretta again.

“She’s… polite I guess.” Loretta seems to struggle to say a nice thing about her.

“She’s cute.” Oh, that sounded too much like a correction. “She is polite too, more than she needs to be honestly. It’s fun when she lets herself be silly.”

“Even if you wanted to date a girl, like couldn’t you have… picked someone with more…” Pepi won't let it go.

“I didn’t want to date a girl, I wanted to date Rae . I honestly can’t even imagine dating anyone else.”

“Well you seem happy now at least.” Loretta concedes, and takes a big gulp from her drink.

“Yes, thank you Loretta”

“ Kiss ass. ” Pepi mumbles, this time Loretta does catch it and glares at her. So Pepi just sticks her tongue out.

I need to do something. “Have you two thought of dating?”

That causes Pepi to start a coughing fit.

Loretta pays it little mind though. “Hrmm, I don’t know Claire-chan. Guys seem… whatever around here. And it’s not like any guys were asking me out before.” She shrugs. Hrmm, it really does not seem as if Loretta has even considered it.

Pepi has though. I can’t help but grin as I turn back to her. Oh she is frustrated with me. This is for your own good. “And what of you Pepi-chan? No prospects for yourself?”

“No.” Pepi says through gritted teeth.

“Really?” Loretta says.

“I know , and she’s so pretty isn’t she?”

“Claire…”

“Yah I thought people would have been lining up to at least ask you since we got here. I don’t know… you're not like me…” Loretta is being too dismissive of herself.

“Nonsense Loretta, you are very handsome. I’m sure Pepi would agree-”

THUNK

Oh heavens, that stings. I probably earned that. Only slightly . I’m quite sure even Loretta heard that kick. Pepi shows no shame.

“Uhhh, did you…? Are you okay Claire-chan?”

I have to inhale through my teeth for a moment. “Oh must have slipped, it rather smarts but I will persevere.” Loretta still looks concerned even with my assuages, and Pepi is just short of pouting. Oh my shin feels raw from that strike. “ You do think Pepi-chan is pretty, don't you Loretta-chan?” I already bring my legs in tighter to fend off a second blow.

Loretta turns back to Pepi and decides to take in her appearance. Showing a focus she usually only uses for physical activities. Pepi freezes, like an animal exposed to lantern light.

“Yah. She is pretty, even by pretty standards. Not as-”

“You are so correct.” That was a close call, I had to stop her from sticking her foot in her mouth. Your wife does not need to hear that I'm pretty. “I think anyone would be lucky if they were to date someone like her. Isn’t that right?”

“Yah, honestly I don’t get why you haven’t. Didn’t some guy ask you out last week?”

Pepi finally recovers, and rolls her eyes. “Ugh, I was not going to date him .”

“I… don’t know. All guys seem kinda… meh to me. I thought maybe he was-”

“He wasn't. And I don’t know if I want to be dating any guys right now.”

“Well maybe no guys per say, but how-”

I’m ready for it this time, I pull my legs away, just feeling the air rush past and I dodge Pepi’s kick this time. 

“Huh? What’s going on.”

“NOTHING!” Pepi, you are only looking more suspicious. 

“Whatever do you mean?”

Loretta slows blinks. Twice. Thrice. “Okay?”

“I think you should consider what type of person you would like to date Loretta. That might make it easier to find them. Try envisioning them.”

Pepi is glaring at me.

“Hrmm, I don’t know… I can’t really think of a guy I think would look good…”

See Pepi?

“What about personality? What sort of character would you like?”

Loretta ponders. She really has not considered it has she. “I don’t know? Someone… huh... maybe… someone that is kind, even if they can seem a bit prickly. I want them to be loyal. I don't know, I would have to know them well I think”

I take another glance at Pepi and she has turned her sight downwards, a little difficult to read.

“Those sound like good qualities. Think on it some more, I’m sure someone will become obvious as you think about it.”

“I… guess. How about you, Pepi-chan? What are you looking for?” Loretta spends little energy thinking deeply on the matter before directing the question back to Pepi.

Pepi fidgets, “I… maybe someone muscular.” She looks up back to Loretta. Is she testing the waters?

Good.

Loretta nods. “Makes sense.” Loretta .

“I wouldn't mind if they were a bit dense, as long as they try to make up for it.”

“God, I know what you mean. Things just seem to fly over my head, but I try to make sure I'm on the same page with everyone.”

And there, I can see the little hope Pepi had, leave her body as she sighs heavily, and once again she pools on the table.

“ I’m doomed .” She mumbles with her face pressed to the table.

Little steps, we will get there .

“Oooh, having some girl talk are we?” A soft, but slightly baritone voice sounds off to the side.

Oh, it’s Yu. I’m really not used to this voice.

“Yu-san, how nice to see you. What brings you over?” I’ve had so few opportunities to see her since the party.

Her brow raises high and she dons a smile like a mask. “Oh you know, just around. Saw you three and thought I might say hello. Thank you very much Claire-chan.” Something tells me she doesn't really trust me, and I can’t fault her from what I gathered.

“How have your classes been? You are welcome to join our girl talk.” I wave to one of the seats at the table, “Feel free to have some snacks we brought, we have potato chips. They're delightful.” So crisp.

Yu glances at the spread, she considers it. She's always been cautious and that hasn’t changed. “Well if you don’t mind me intruding on you girls, I think I would enjoy that.” She smiles and pulls a seat for herself.

Loretta and Pepi both look a bit unsure.

“So what were you gossiping about?” Yu takes a chip and grins, she always enjoyed gossip.

“Unfortunately not quite gossip. I was telling the girls how good Dungeon Meshi is.”

“Claire-chan!” Pepi is just shy of shouting.

“Yu-san is fine. Really, and well right before you arrived we might have talked a bit about romance.”

“Oh.” Yu savors a second chip. “Romance is an interesting topic for you now isn’t it? So what exactly is going on between you and Rae-chan? Hmm?”

“Oh I’m sure you figured it out. You are quite clever.”

“Thank you, but honestly I’m still trying to figure out a fair bit of it. Like the why ?”

“Rae, is your friend right? You’ve known each since highschool?”

“Yes. Maybe not as close as Misha is, but yes.” She could have elaborated more.

“Well I like her, I mean it genuinely.”

Yu leans back, inscrutable as she tends to be. “Hrmmm, so what was that with Thane then?”

I need to give a truthful answer, or she will just suspect something is amiss. “I think I was making a poor choice, and I didn’t really think through my feelings or Thane-san feelings very well if I am being honest. I’m glad I realized it and stopped before I did something that would have hurt him.”

Yu nods along, a contemplative mask wielded. “And Rae is different?”

“Very, I love her.”

I can see Pepi gag from the corner of my eye. Have some dignity.

Yu at least finds it funny and chuckles. “Well, color me surprised.” She grins and pops another chip into her mouth.

“What of yourself Yu-san? Are there any prospects? I couldn't help but notice you were with Misha-chan when we saw each other last.” 

That causes her to squirm, a rare treat. “And what about her?”

“You tell me.” It’s my turn to grin.

She doesn’t like that, she knows I know about Misha. “ Fucking Rae …”

“Haha, hardly. I can just be observant too Yu-chan.”

She quirks her brow, I guess she must be skeptical. “Nothing’s going on.”

“But…?”

“Nothing.” That was curt.

“Why not?”

“Because there is nothing going.” Oh that is a stained smile. Misha was also very hesitant to really say one way or another on this topic too. Even after I explained what I knew.

“Fine, could I offer an opinion?”

“You could certainly try.” She smirks.

“I think it’s a good match.”

She sighs, but doesn’t really offer much of a rebuttal to the point. Instead she diverts. “I have a question for you if you don’t mind. All of you.”

“Huh?” Loretta snaps away from her phone, when had she pulled that out? Pepi looks a bit wary.

“Of course, what is it?”

“Forgive me for being blunt but I’m curious how you all became acquainted. Pepi-chan and Loretta-chan, you don’t exactly punch in the same weight class as someone like Claire-chan here. Pepi, your family runs and owns a successful grocery super store. And Loretta-chan, your’s runs an old and well established martial arts school. Not unimpressive so to say, but hardly in the realm of an heiress of Francois .”

That remark strikes hard on their morale.

“Yu-san, that’s hardly appropriate.”

Both of them still look shamed. I… we were all nobles before, and true I was elevated above them but the way Yu implied it. It was as is… I don’t really know anything about their current lives, do I?

“Apologies, I was just curious what brought you together. I don’t consider it a bad thing, just you never really struck me before as the sort.” She doesn't seem intent on abandoning the topic.

I… how did I become friends with them here? I know how it happened in Bauer… but I didn’t meet either of them till just a few years ago from what I have gathered. What can I say?

“I… met them in highschool…?” Curses why did I sound like I was asking.

Pepi looks confused, of course she would be. I’m supposed to know this. She wants to ask, but instead she turns back to Yu. “Yes, we met in highschool. We were in the same class. Claire didn’t really like most of the other kids but she could stand us at least.”

“Oh how altruistic of her.”

“Hey!” Loretta snaps at Yu’s comment. “She looked out for us. You weren’t at that shit school.”

Yu raises her hands, trying to look appeasing. “All right, all right. Forgive me.”

“It’s fine, really. I understand, I haven’t always been the best person to be around. Trust me I know that.” Please girls, there is no need to snap at Yu.

“Hey, it wasn't that bad.” Oh Loretta, weren’t you saying how much more enjoyable I am to be around now. You're not at fault for that Claire . I’ll just make it better.

“It’s fine Loretta.” She still looks hesitant, she’s being very protective. “None of us are perfect, and I certainly wasn’t. 

“So you’re all friends then?” Yu serves one more question.

That should be obvious.

“Well-”

“She’s-”

“Yes.” I say, stopping from Pepi and Loretta, I know they were going to say something dismissive. We serve Lady Claire. We are beneath her. It was the same tone. “You are my friends, and I don’t want that to change.”

Loretta looks overwhelmed with emotion.

Pepi looks more discerning, she’s puzzling something. That’s more worrying.

“You’re quite the merry bunch.” Another cool remark from Yu.

“And I enjoy talking to you as well, Yu-san.” I mean it.

There is a smile, genuine. I think she believes me, but unsurprisingly she finds sincerity hard to return. “Touché.” She smirks and eats another chip.

“What have you been up to, Yu-san?”

She glances to the side, and looks a little bored with the question. “Well classes are dreadfully boring, aside from that I suppose I’m just keeping tabs on everything. Never hurts to know what’s going around.”

“Ever the girl for gossip.”

Yu looks at me oddly… shite , I just said- “ Well if only … anyways I think I’ve taken up enough of your time, and your chips.” Curses, she sounds a bit terse and she pushes herself up. Her mask is back in full and she hides behind a false smile. “It was a pleasure, Claire-san and friends . Thank you and till next time.”

Lorette and Pepi say a goodbye, one couched out of politeness.

“It was a pleasure Yu-san, if you don’t mind we should meet up again when we have time. We could do something with Misha-chan and Rae-chan.”

She considers, “That sounds like it would be delightful.” She nods and then takes her leave.

“What’s up with him?” Loretta says once Yu disappears from view.

“Guys always get so touchy whenever you make any feminine suggestion.” Pepi remarks.

“I…” That was a stupid slip up. “I didn’t mean to upset him .”

“Ehh, he’d probably be cuter as a girl.” Loretta remarks and takes a sip from her drink. It sounds empty and she pouts. “Damn… you know what. I need a walk anyways. You want a drink? I’m going to go get another.”

“Nah.”

“Thank you, but I’m fine.”

Loretta pops up quickly and makes her way to the nearby convenience store. Pepi is eying me.

“Yu-chan?”

“Oh… did I?” Did I? Curses, why can't I sound nonchalant ?

“You know you’re just making me more suspicious right?”

I groan, “Fine, yes. It was a slip of the tongue.”

“Twice.”

I don’t appreciate where this is going.

“And when he asked about us… Claire-chan… how did we meet?” Her eyes are trying to bore into me.

Oh hells . “In highschool.” School yourself Claire. Simple statements. No pauses or hesitations.

Pepi narrows her eyes. “You know that's not what I am asking.”

“Does it matter the specifics?”

She flinches at the edge in my voice. I immediately feel bad, but she recovers quickly. She swallows. “You don’t know.”

She said it. She's figured it out.

“I don’t.”

Her eyes go wide. That wasn't supposed to be correct. “What? How?”

“It's rather hard to believe or explain.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? You can’t be serious? You forgot? Are you just a different person? Is this that Otaku’s fault?”

“Her name is Rae.”

That causes her to shrink a bit again, is that fear? That's wrong.

“I’m sorry, and it’s not her fault.”

Pepi lips flap silently, for a moment, “You need to tell me something Claire-chan.”

“Can I trust you won't tell anyone?”

“What do you mean?... Is something bad going to… you’re worrying me now.” There is a faint amount of panic building up in her.

“Nothing bad is going to happen, but this is… I can’t let many people know. I want to tell you, I trust you but I need you to know what I say is in all seriousness and must stay between us.”

She looks hesitant, worried, maybe even scared.

“I promise, it’s just peculiar, not bad.”

She sighs. “Fine, I need to know what the fuck is going on with you.”

“Language.” I have to shake my head, “Fine, I don’t have memories from this life anymore. I have memories from a different life.”

She's silent for what seems to be nearly half a minute. “That’s not funny.”

“It’s not.”

“You can’t be serious, what the fuck does that mean?”

“ Language , please. It’s what I said. I lived a life in a different world. We were all there, you, Loretta, even Yu…san. And of course Rae.”

“A different world?”

“Yes.”

“Claire you have to tell fu-”

“I am not fucking with you.” I let out a deep breath. Goodness. “You are the fifth person I have told. Rae knows. Catherine knows. Misha knows. Mother knows. And now you know.”

“What am I supposed to do about this? Can we fix this?” She's grasping for something.

“Do? Nothing. What is there to fix? From all accounts that I have pierced together I seemed barely awake, I wasn’t there.”

“You… it wasn’t…”

“Pepi, please tell me the truth.”

“Look it wasn’t always… sometimes you would be…” Her eyes dart back and forth, as if she is trying to replay all her memories. “You… were very hard to read. I thought you were distant at first but I guess you were just… depressed … You didn’t really talk to people much. You would do what was needed in classes, and sometimes you would put people in their place. But you helped us?”

“I think that’s because you are my friends.”

She looks quite unsure about everything, her eyes glisten faintly.

“I don’t know what was going on. I think I was not there, or just barely. But it came back, all of it, when I saw Rae that day, and I don’t remember anything from this life.”

“What’s so special about her?”

“She’s my wife.”

Pepi chokes, “What?”

“I said I love her, didn't I? We married. We had two daughters.”

Pepi is stunned.

“I’m sorry, this is a lot to take in.”

“I…” She's at a complete loss.

“I’m sorry for not telling you… I was still trying to figure out everything.”

She takes a long breath and stares at the table. “This is just what it is now?”

“I know I’m not the Claire you knew, and I know you two cared for her. But I do care for you two immensely.”

“I… I don’t know what to make of this… So you're… like okay with this? This is fine?”

“Yes, truthfully. It’s been a lot to learn, but I have enjoyed every moment of it. And I’m so glad that I still have you in my life.”

“What was it like… we were…”

“Friends of course. We first met much younger. Early in school. The two of you were learning music and I stopped some crass classmates from belittling Loretta for her inexperience. We were always close, and when we all matured, our friendship really flourished. I’m glad to have been there for you two. It's not often I get to be the maid of honor for two people at one wedding.”

“What?” She stutters. Oh, I hadn’t meant to reveal that yet. “No. Nononono, you can’t be serious!”

“I… yes. I suppose it’s pointless to deny it at this point.”

“Loretta? What! That's how you knew?” She’s doing all she can to not shout.

I can’t help but sigh, “Yes, honestly it took me far too long to realize what was going on between you two. I only caught on when I caught you two in the act.”

“wE weRe HavINg sEx!” She’s beaming very brightly and barely coherent.

“Heavens no… I only meant you were in the midst of kissing very passionately… I have never caught you two in that act.”

“But we’re both girls…”

“ And? I married a woman.” It's hardly that complicated. 

“Look that’s… that can’t happen?”

“Why not? You want it to happen.” I know I'm right.

She swallows.

“It’s not a bad thing, in fact it is a very good thing.”

“But Loretta is…”

“Loretta has no clue, because she is Loretta . You tell her and it will click in.”

“I have to tELl her?”

“Of course, that or wait till you both boil over and one of you snaps.”

“Is… did that happen? Wait did I… what did I do?”

“No more spoiling. I’m not tampering with this anymore than I already have.”

“Oh bullshit! Like I couldn’t see you trying to play matchmaker.”

“Matchmaker?”

We both turn, and Loretta is there with a new drink in hand. A sports drink I think?

Pepi is staring at Loretta, and she is slowly turning oh very flush. This is a bit fun, I wish I had got to enjoy this awkward romance before too. A second chance is fine too.

“Oh, just something about… Yu-san. It’s not important.” Loretta shrugs. Excellent, she doesn’t suspect a thing. Hardly a major achievement, but still, a victory is a victory.

“You okay Pepi?”

“Completely.” Pepi says through her teeth.

Loretta takes her seat again, and Pepi does everything to not look at Loretta. 

“Pepi… I know it’s a lot, but don’t worry too much okay? We can talk more about it later.”

Her blush starts to die down, she looks more collected now. Accepting. “Okay, fine.” She at least gives me a smile, and I return it.

“Huh? Wait, are you trying to get together with Yu-san?”

Pepi’s face twist into a grimace from that comment and she turns to Loretta, “God you're so fucking thick.”

Poor Loretta looks confused. Still, it’s not as if Loretta was too scared to make the first move.