“Claire… you look a bit tired?”

Rae has finally decided to comment on it after we made it to the train station. I can’t believe I was reading so late, I normally have better self control than this. Rae has dressed in her preferred hoodie, the one with the Persona logo. It looks well worn, the edges have slight fraying. I suspect it's her favorite with how often she has worn it now, I believe I should be able to mend it if needed. The only thing unusual about her appearance is a small mask covering the lower part of her face. She said she wanted to avoid being recognized.

“I couldn’t stop reading… they just rescued Falin and then…” Mayhaps if we didn't have to leave so early I could have a few more minutes of sleep. At least this train station is mostly vacant.

“Oh. Yah. And how far did you make it after that?”

“I needed to know what happened to her… and then it was two in the morning…”

“Oh… yeah? Where did you call it quits?” I swear Rae is vibrating.

“They found Falin again…”

There is a sharp intake from Rae, oh she is excited. “So you saw-”

“Yes I saw Falin… Dragon?”

Rae immediately explodes. “Oh god she looks so fucking cool and hot, it’s such a cool design and when she looks at you, oh god it’s like wow. I’m really gay. And the way Marcille looks at her, she’s so in love with her. You don't just risk your life and delve deep into a dungeon and perform dark magic for anyone. I don’t think she realizes it yet but I think Falin knows, at least instinctual. Maybe? God they are so gay and then when she pulls her shirt apart… uhh… sorry I’m rambling aren’t.. I?” She shies after the outburst, oh goodness she is adorable.

“No, no no, I think you're right. I didn’t notice it at first but then Manaria made a comment about it, and then it’s really obvious like you said. And they really do feel meant for one another. I think I would have noticed after they shared a bath I think, I really wish she didn’t ruin that for me.”

“Manaria?”

“Yes, my cousin from… well not Sousse, I don’t actually know where she is from. She was with my Mother. She called me last night.”

“Oh her. ” Ah yes, barely a meeting and her disdain is there.

“Did she say something to you? She didn’t try to… seduce you, did she?”

Rae snorts, “Excuse me? Seduce me?”

“Yes!, I don’t know, did she say something weird to you?”

“Wait… what? You're being serious, did something happen… before?”

“Ummm… No?”

“What, no seriously what happened?” Rae is not letting it go.

“It was complicated, we were still trying to figure out our relationship and she made it more complicated. She ultimately helped us I think, but I’m feeling less forgiving about it now.”

“It sounds like there is an ‘and’ in there?” Curses, she is perceptive.

“She was always interested in you back then, for a while. And you never really liked her. But it’s not going to be like that now. We're talking and being honest about our feelings this time.” I'm not letting us go through that again.

“She was into ME? What? How?” Why does she sound so surprised?

“Rae, in case you have forgotten I am also into you. Many people are into you if you haven’t noticed.”

“What? No, no one is into me, I’m… not… cute or sexy-”

“Yes you are, You are very handsome , cute and very sexy .”

Her blush is evident, even with the mask on. “You're just saying that…”

“Because I think so, and so do other people. You even told me Shiko had a crush on you.”

“I… I did? We were kids still, that doesn’t count!”

“You were a teenager, and of course it counts. And if Manaria ever says anything, remember you are mine , understand?”

She gulps, and I can see her shiver. I pull her closer to me, and whisper close to her ear. I love the effect I have on her.

“Do you like that, Rae? When I call you mine , and only mine ?”

She whines, “Claire… we are in public…”

“No one is around, and no one heard you before in case you forgot when you went on about Falin.” I whisper again, and nod to the area around us. There is only one other person here, and they look to have… headphones was it? “No one could hear us, even if I wasn’t whispering.”

She gulps and I place a hand on her waist, a bit of control to turn her more to me.

“Rae, do you like it when I call you mine ?”

She squirms in my hold, “Yes! Of course I do. Of course you know that. Of course you know what a freak I am.”

That… is she upset? I’m doing it again. “Rae, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Do you not want me to-”

“No, I do like it… I just… I don’t know, I’m just nervous, I’m not used to this and… it catches me off guard, I…”

“Rae it’s okay, you can always tell me no.”

She still looks unsure, “I don’t want to tell you no…”

“But you should, it’s okay. Really.”

I can see a rebuttal try to form, but she shuts it down.

I let her go finally, she is free again, “Is it okay if I say things like that, call you mine?”

“I think so…?”

“How about if I do it only in private.”

“I… okay?” She nods her head slowly. “Private is good… I think.”

“Okay, I will have it my way in private then.”

“That’s what she said.” She looks shocked that she just said that, but I can’t help but grin and laugh. And soon she is joining in. “I can’t believe I said that.”

“Oh, I can.” It’s good to see her relax a little.

There is a chime that plays overheard, an announcement for the incoming train.

“Looks like our train is here Claire, ready to ride your first train.”

“With you , always.”

Rae blushes and groans again. But I can see her smile under the mask.


“So what’s the deal with that Oohashi-san?” Loretta asks. She can’t help but be annoyed, it seems. She certainly has made her dislike of Rae known over the last couple days. And it’s not like Rae has made much of an effort to help alleviate that dislike, either. Some things never change.

The girls had dragged me to a nicer restaurant for lunch, despite my protests that it wasn’t necessary. I told them the cafeteria was fine but they seemed offended by the idea. Well, at least Pepi did—Loretta probably wouldn’t have said anything. At least it means that I get to see a bit more of the city.

“Oohashi-san is my tutor, and a stellar one at that.” I try to keep my tone neutral, factual.

“Since when do you need a tutor, Francois-chan?” Pepi inquires archly.

“My grades have not been in a good state lately. It would be shameful for a Francois to allow that to continue.” A truth is easier to sell than a lie.

Pepi just hums, clearly not content with the answer.

“Why didn’t you just ask me for help?” Loretta says, quite exacerbated. But asking Loretta would be…. well .

Pepi laughs, and Loretta pouts at her. “Loretta-chan, she wants to improve her grades.” There is a sly grin on her face. “ Still , why is this the first we are hearing about it? And we didn’t see you at the party last night, either.”

“Well, I was studying last night.”

Pepi blinks three times. She can be so melodramatic. “ Seriously ?” Come on now, even at my worst I valued my education. “What is going on with you? It even sounds like you’re talking differently!”

I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I might be able to fool Loretta, but not Pepi. I sigh. “Would you believe me if I said I changed?”

Pepi does not look convinced.

This is getting frustrating. “Maybe I just fell in love.”

The girls fall silent. I…should not have said that, as true as it might feel to me.  But maybe I can make it work for this version of me, a princess awoken from slumber by true love. I might be able to weave a convincing enough tale. I hope.

“But Claire-chan, weren’t you already…interested in Bauer-san?” Loretta voices her confusion, face scrunching as she puzzles it out.

Thane again…I have to be careful to not roll my eyes. “No, not really. Bauer-san is a lovely gentleman, but now that I have truly fallen for someone else what I felt for him simply does not compare.”

“Who?”both girls ask in unison. Loretta looks upset, while Pepi just looks suspicious.

“If I tell you girls, I need you to know that I can’t stress the confidentiality of it enough. I trust you, but I need you to understand that.” Loretta just eagerly nods, and Pepi is apprehensive. “Please, Pepi-chan. I might need your help.”

She relaxes a bit and sighs. “Fine, Claire-chan, we won’t tell anyone.”

“Thank you. I have already told her about my feelings, but it’s been rather sudden for—”

“HER!” Loretta chokes and looks completely shattered and upset. I can’t help but think of when I would tell the twins they weren’t getting a dessert.

“No…” Pepi says quietly the realization dawning on her face. How am I already losing control of this?

“Yes, and I am trying to not—”

“Oh. My. God. Are you trolling that otaku?”—Trolling?—“It all makes sense now. Why didn’t I see it before? Of course , Claire-chan. We will help you with whatever you need. What are you going to do to her?” Oh no, not this again.

“HER!” Loretta chokes out again, now realizing who Pepi means. “Why her?” She sounds like she is about to cry. I don’t understand why she is so upset.

“Good question, why her and not someone else…” Pepi mumbles while looking between the two of us, completely unamused.  What is she talking about? There must be something I am missing. She shakes her head, “No, Loretta-chan, she is going to dunk on that Otaku.” More slang, but given the tone I don’t think I need an explanation.

“Oh!” Loretta perks up instantly. “What are we going to do to her?”

There is a dangerous energy building between the girls. “Girls—”

“I bet she’s going to reject her in front of the entire class!”

“That'll teach her for staring like a creep all the time!!”

“I bet it’ill make her cry! She might even stop coming to classes, which would totally serve that les—”

“STOP!”

Both of them freeze.

“I am being sincere. I am not bullying her!”

Loretta and Pepi slowly turn to face me.

Silence hangs over the table. It seems the very idea that I might be interested in Rae has rendered them speechless. Was this Claire truly so callous? Would I have gone down such a path If I never found Rae?

“I love her.”

Loretta is the first to act. She looks like she is about to cry, or worse. Heavens, why is she so upset over this? “I don’t understand…” She mutters.

“Who are you?” Pepi asks, finally recovering. Her tone carries worry and suspicion.

“I don’t know, I changed. I woke up.” I sound more confrontational than I mean to.

Loretta looks confused. Pepi’s suspicion does not ebb away.

I sigh.

“Look, you two knew I wasn’t happy, right? Be honest. I was insecure, miserable and burdened with expectations. I was wrong about who I thought I wanted to be, and I understand that better now. After meeting Rae everything just makes sense. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life living up to the flawed idea I had when I was a kid of who I was supposed to be. I want to be better and I know I can be when I’m with her.”

“But…just last week you were…” Pepi is at a loss for words.

“I’m not that person anymore. I had a breakthrough.” It’s not a lie, but that breakthrough did happen a lifetime ago.

“People don’t just change so suddenly…this is insane.” I can’t blame Pepi for her hesitation. Any way I spin this, I am going to seem dramatically different.

“Yeah, last week all you were talking about was Bauer-san, and you tried so hard to be alone with him at that mixer.” Even Loretta is resistant to the idea.

“Would it make it easier if I said something fanciful, like I woke up with memories of a past life? I figured my shit out.” I hate the casual swearing, even if it hardly seems taboo here, but I have to do something to help sell my point. I am skirting dangerously close to the truth, but hopefully the outlandish notion makes this truth easier to swallow.

Pepi laughs. Thank God, at least that is a good start. “Fine, you don’t have to make up some anime crap.” Anime? That sounds familiar for some reason. Oh, Rae mentioned it, of course. Pepi finally relaxes a little bit. She’s not completely back to normal but it's a start.

I reach across the table and grab both of their hands. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but I don’t want to pretend that I am someone I am not, now that I understand who I really am. You're still my friends, and I don’t want that to change.”

Loretta blushes and smiles warmly, and Pepi smiles too. “ Fine , but I’m still going to be judgey about your taste in…well, women. Never thought you would be…” Pepi trails off, uncomfortable saying the word.

She wants to say gay, I can hear it. But I’m not, and if it wasn’t for Rae being worried I would be happy to announce my identity to everyone. “Queer. I’m bi.”

“I would have never guessed. I've never met someone…queer before.” Loretta says quietly.

Pepi’s attention snaps to Loretta with a painful grimace. She is clearly unimpressed with what Loretta just said. And it is a rather silly thing to say considering what I know about the two of them. “But aren’t the two of you…?”

“... Huh?” Loretta responds, tilting her head quizzically. Oh my goodness, she has no idea.

Oh no! Have I just—

Thwack! I feel a swift strike to my shin and it’s all I can do not to yelp in pain. Pepi shoots me a murderous stare. Loretta still looks lost, searching between the of us for an answer but coming up empty.

I rub my shin under the table. “Sorry, I must have kicked the table leg, please don’t worry about it, Loretta-chan.” I turn back to Pepi. I hope she can forgive me, it never even occurred to me that they wouldn’t be together. Oh, she is upset with me.

At least Loretta has moved on. “Are you okay, Claire-chan?”

“Yeah, Claire-chan. Are you okay ? How about the two of us go to the restroom and make sure you didn’t bruise


 yourself too badly.” Pepi rises from her seat and all but drags me away from the table.

Once we pass out of view she turns to me with a scowl. “What the hell!”

“I’m sorry, I thought you two were already…or….I don’t know.” They were already dating by this age in the world I came from. This isn’t my fault !

“Us? US!? What are you talking about? Seriously? You think something is happening between us? She doesn’t even look at me! Have you seen how she acts around you, how she acted just five minutes ago?” Pepi is nearly pulling out her hair. For the life of me I can’t figure out what point she is trying to make.

What does this have to do with Loretta? Pepi told me she fell for her first. She was the one who made the first move. “Loretta-chan? What are you talking about, you’re the one with a cr—?”

I am silenced as she forces her hands over my mouth. “How did you figure that out and not figure out that Loretta has had a massive crush on you for like the past five years!” Pepi explodes, her eyes wide.

I can feel the heat flush down my body. “Loretta has a what!?” I exclaim through her hands.

Pepi groans and uncovers my mouth. “Oh my gooooood.” She buries her face in her hands. “Yes. I don’t think she even realizes it but she acts like a puppy around you. You could tell her to kill a man and she would, no questions asked.”

Why am I only hearing about this now?! Has she….Oh God! Pepi, why did you never tell me?

“What?!”

“Oh good, you really haven’t been replaced by an alien. It’s still you.” The tension finally breaks as Pepi starts to laugh. I can’t help but bristle since she is laughing at me . How was I supposed to figure out that Loretta had, has, a crush on me ?!

I do my best to glare at her, and she does try to stifle her laugh. But before long I’m laughing alongside her. “Oh goodness, I really can be dense, can’t I?”

Pepi, more calm now, finally relents.“Sometimes you can be, and other times…” She shakes her head.

Fine, I can accept that. “You should tell her.”

Pepi frowns, clearly not fond of that suggestion. She turns away. “I don’t know how you figured that one out, Claire-chan.”

To be fair, I didn’t. I just walked in on you two getting very familiar with each other’s lips. It wasn’t even news by that point either! I was just the last to know ! “I don’t either. Maybe it is post-revelation clarity?”

She lets out a wry laugh.  “Oh? Well whatever caused your big breakthrough, I doubt it will help with my situation. I can’t see that musclehead figuring it out anytime soon.”

“Well, obviously . That’s why you have to tell her.”

Pepi does not look convinced.

“I think you two would be good for each other.”

She rolls her eyes. “Just ‘cause the gay made you stupid and happy doesn’t mean…gah! Look, she doesn’t even think of me that way!”

“She doesn’t think at all, Pepi! If you want something to happen, you will have to make the first move.”

She groans. “Look, I don’t need your advice okay? Just be weird with your otaku girl toy or whatever and don’t breathe a word of this to her.”

“Fine. I will acquiesce for now, as long as you don’t try anything funny with Rae,” I warn her.

“Fine, it’s a deal.”

Well. I had planned this to go better , but all things considered I think I handled that well. Mostly.


Rei and I retired early after the lovely dinner that Ai-san rescued from my eggshell fiasco. Ai-san was very eager to tell everyone how—in her words—amazing I am, though thankfully she didn’t mention my family background. Goodness, she is so kind, but I really think she went overboard with her praise. Rei was no help, either, as she took the opportunity to brag about me as well. My cheeks were pink by the time they were done. It does make me feel warm inside to hear Rei speak so proudly about me, though. I know she means it.

Soon we will be leaving, and I will miss it here. Even if it’s only been a short time. Rei’s family is so warm and welcoming. We will need to visit again, many times. I hope they will be my future family too, after all.

I won't miss how tight this bed is for the both of us, though. It’s not a problem when we’re actually sleeping, since we always seem to sleep curled tightly together, but when we are both reading it’s rather cramped. As well as when we are engaged in more…active pursuits in bed. Not only did we barely have enough room to move, but Rei couldn’t seem to keep her voice down. I suppose that is partly my fault.

But speaking of reading, I am pleased to have finally finished Frankenstein. It has given me a lot to ponder. Not only because of its fascinating themes, but also because it was written by a woman long before women were commonly thought capable of doing such things. It’s no wonder that Mother included it in the essential material to learn about this world. I can already see its influences in other works, and perhaps the author’s influence on my mother. What an inspiration it is.

I set the book down on the bedside table and stand up, stretching. Nature calls.

“I’ll be back shortly, Rei. I just need to use the restroom.” I lean over to give her a kiss on the cheek. It’s easy to do given the cramped size of the bed

She grins. “I’ll be waiting.”

“Good.” Cramped or not, I have plans for Rei and this bed when I return. I just need to silence her first.

The trip is short, and while I’m up I decide to get some water too.

As I make the trip downstairs I can hear a groan from the living room that sounds like Rei’s brother Masao.

He’s sitting on the sofa in the living room in front of the television. It looks like he is playing a game, as he’s gripping a controller tightly in his hand. He sighs. He is intently focused on whatever he is playing and doesn't seem to notice me.

It seems everyone else has retired for the evening. I fetch a glass of water from the kitchen, and when I return I can see Masao is still tense and glaring at the screen. Is he playing a knight? It looks like he’s in the middle of a battle.

The character at the center of the screen, which I assume Masao is controlling, rolls and dodges what looks like a massive magical arc from a sword swung by an impressive lady knight. Oh, I can’t help but be reminded of the skillful swordplay of the Sword God herself, Dorothea Nur. My daughter’s former teacher.

Masao seems to be struggling. His opponent feints, and Masao takes the bait. He is eviscerated for his mistake, and his character falls to the ground.

You Died flashes on the screen in large red letters as the scene fades to black. Masao groans again and slumps back in his seat on the sofa.

The screen shifts to show Masao’s character by a bonfire. He grumbles and his character starts running. He weaves past what I assume are enemies—they swipe at him as he passes by but they all miss. After his short sprint he charges towards a door obscured by fog. He passes through and—oh, this is the arena where the battle I just watched took place.

His opponent walks towards him and her title appears on the screen: Rellana, Twin Moon Knight. A worthy title for such a formidable foe. I start to identify other elements on the screen, such as health bars for him and his opponent. I believe Rei called it the “UI” when we were playing Persona. The music swells. Masao charges into the fight, immediately getting hit and then panicking and rolling desperately away before drinking something to restore his health.

I watch the back and forth quietly as it turns into a battle of attrition. He tries to take swipes at the opponent and dart away quickly. Each hit only takes away a small amount of her health. She’s very strong. I think Rei calls these types of enemies bosses? But for each hit he makes, he seems to take at least a few himself. Rellana’s health is barely half gone, and he has drunk the last of whatever he was using to heal himself.

He seems tense. I hope he can make it. You can do it.

Rellana makes the same feint from before, though, and he falls for it again. He is taken by the second wide arc, which fills the screen with its power. He groans even louder this time, and the same message from before returns.

You Died.

He drops the controller to his side and runs his hands vigorously through his hair in frustration. I can't help but be reminded of when Rei gets frustrated and does the same thing.

The scene plays out again.

And again.

And again.

Masao is making slightly more progress with each attempt. Rellana's health gets a bit lower with each try, but he keeps making the same mistakes each time.

Again.

“She makes a follow-up swing after her first one. You always fail to account for it.”

“Shit!” Masao exclaims, jumping and twisting around to face me. “Jeez, what the hell?”

“You seem to be too eager to time your attacks properly, and your opponent is capitalizing on it.”

“How long have you been there watching me?”

“I lost track of how many attempts it was, but I found it fascinating.”

“Ahh, jeez. Well, thanks for your advice.” He slumps back on the sofa and soon starts yet another trek towards the arena.

“Apologies, I don’t mean to sound dismissive, but in any sword fight diligence and attentiveness when it comes to your opponent’s tactics is the difference between life and death.”

“Okay?” I suppose this is just a game. Still.

He doesn’t say much, just returns to the fight. Probably his worst attempt yet.

“Ughh, didn’t think I would be doing this for an audience,” He huffs in a surly voice.

“Mind if I sit down?”

“Sure.” He’s pouting a bit. The sibling resemblance is uncanny.

“What is the name of this game?”

“Elden Ring. It’s very hard.” I have to stifle a laugh to avoid hurting his pride further.

“It looks challenging. Your opponent seems very skilled. Though her style is rather showy. Even when using magic, it’s not the most practical way to fight.”

“Umm? It’s a game. It’s not real.”

“True, I was just observing. I’ve played a few games with Rei, but none like this one.”

“So are you, like, an expert with swords or something?” He sounds curious. I imagine he’s probably never wielded a real sword. Aleah started studying the art of sword play when she was just six years old. Such a thing would never happen in this world, it seems.

“Oh, no, not really. I’ve just…” Well, I often watched Aleah practice. “I often watched experts when I was younger. I suppose it was something of a hobby.”

“Wow, rich hobbies are cool.”

A good enough excuse. “So what is this game like? Is it just sword duels?”

“It’s a lot of boss fights. It’s not all swords. There’s like a buncha of weapons. I just happen to have chosen the sword. And so has this bitch.” Masao makes another attempt at the fight.

“Language.”

You Died. He deserved that.

“God, fuck me.” He curses under his breath.

“Language.”

“Narc.” He snickers.

Sounds like he is calling me uptight. I suppose my ‘mom voice’ doesn’t work on him like it does on Rei.

“But fine, whatever. Anyways, you can also go around exploring the world in this game, sometimes on a horse.” Masao takes a moment to explain before he starts running towards the arena once more.

“Ooh, horse riding is fun.”

“Wait, you mean like riding actual horses?”

“What else would I mean?”

He tilts his head towards the television. Ah, right.

“Yes, real horses. Another rich hobby, I guess you would call it.”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Whatever. So yeah, the point of the game is to explore, fight, and get better. Fight harder things. Get even better. Beat the game.”

I can appreciate a challenge. “It sounds entertaining.”

“And frustrating. Sometimes. What games has Rei played with you?”

“She introduced me to Persona 5.”

He nods his head.

“But before that I hadn’t ever played any.”

“Crazy. What world did you live in that you never played a video game before?”

I can’t help but laugh at that. “A very different one. But I am here now. And playing games with Rei is quite fun.” Or just toying with Rei, no games required.

“So you actually like her? Sis?”

“Of course.”

“She’s kind of a disaster.” It’s a blunt comment, but it’s teasing. Kind of like how


 Catherine teases me. And how Aleah would tease May.

“It’s cute.”

“I guess she must have some crazy lesbian rizz.”

I can’t help but smile, recognizing a word Rei taught me recently. She certainly does have a good amount of ‘rizz’. “She does. I’ve had to fend off quite a few rivals.”

“Seriously? You’ve gotta be joking.”

“I assure you that I’m not. It’s been infuriating.” Manaria, Lilly, Rod…and Lana. “She’s very charming.”

“Okay, I guess I'll have to take your word for it. Damn, sis, way to go.” He sounds unconvinced.

“Why do you sound so surprised? Do you not like your sister?”

“Um, well like, sure…but she’s my sister. She can be annoying. And cringe.” Another word Rei recently taught me. I think I understand what he means. There have certainly been times when Catherine and I clashed, and she loves to bring up the sofa incident. We will really never live that one down.

“What was Rei like when you were growing up together?”

“Uhhh…I don’t know. Like, we were kids and did kid stuff. Then in middle school she went from trying real hard to be normal to…well, after she started reading those yuri manga she got kinda weird. She used to stay up super late talking to her friend Katano-san—”

“Shiko?”

“Yeah, her. I think she gave Rei the yuri in the first place. Then she started getting into writing super cringe fanfiction and then…well, I didn’t really know what was happening at the time, but I guess you kinda know the story already. Some classmates bullied her and well…” His voice gets quiet. He’s stopped playing the game for the moment. I can tell it hurt him to see her like that.

“Yes, she told me about that. We talked about it a lot. It wasn’t easy for her.”

“Yeah…we were all worried. She didn’t talk to anyone. She stopped going to school and stayed in her room for months. She eventually snapped out of it, sorta. And the past few times I’ve seen her, she’s finally acting more like she did before it happened.”

“It takes time to heal.”

“I guess. She didn't stop being an otaku after that, but it wasn’t the same. She used to rant about everything to me, but after the stuff in middle school she kept to herself.”

“Do you miss her?”

“Not really.” We both know he doesn’t mean it. I should tell Rei about this conversation later. We still have a few days left in our visit. She could spend some time with him before we leave. “Anyway, seems like she’s doing pretty good now, I guess. I mean, she has a rich girlfriend who rides horses and is an expert on swords.”

“She is doing better now, it’s true. Much better. And I’ll make sure she always is.”

He nods, trying to play it off as casual, but I can tell he is happy to hear it. “Cool.”


 “What was that?” Catherine asks me.

“I…”

“What’s going on?”

I need to call her…

… she’s not answering…

“Claire?” Catherine places a hand on my arm.

“Huh?”

She gestures with her head. She wants me to say something.

“She’s not answering….”

“She was really upset. Uh… why did you ask her to make the crème brûlée? She obviously didn’t know how to make it…”

“But she’s so good at cooking…” Why did she not…

She looks at me with disbelief. “She’s not though. Obviously.”

“But she’s made it so many times…” Hundreds…

“The… old Rae?”

I can only nod.

“But not this Rae?”

I’ve made a mistake.

I should have realized…

“I was trying to help… I have to fix this.”

She still isn’t responding to my call. She’s not answering?

Because I hurt her.

“What's going on?” Catherine’s trying to anchor me.  Focus Claire.

“I… I’m not sure…”

It feels like we are sixteen again, dancing around each other awkwardly. Hiding. Not talking. Scarred.

But we’re not… I’m…

She’s not. She's young. You’re her first now.

“Look Claire. She’s not the same.” Catherine's voice draws me out of my thoughts.

“But she is! It’s her! I know it’s her! ”

“That’s… not what… She’s different now. She hasn’t done all the things you remember…”

“... and Rae thinks she has to?”

Rae… no, never…

There is a look of understanding on Catherine’s face. “Has she been comparing herself to the old Rae?You have to talk to her, Claire.”

“I’m trying!” She wont pick up!

“She’s not going to pick up. We should go chase her down or so-”

Bang-bang

We both snap to the door. Another loud knock shakes through the door.

Is that…?

I’m already running to the door. Please be…

The door swings open.“What the fuck did you do?”

Manaria. She’s fuming as she pushes into our room.

What?

As she moves in she presses a finger to my chest.

“Your toy ran away bawling her eyes out. What did you do to her?” There’s fire in her tone as she says it again.

Rae… “It’s my fault.”

She narrows her eyes. “You hurt her.”

“Hey, back off!” Catherine shouts at Manaria. She’s quick to come in between us but her small stature is very apparent next to Manaria’s tall frame.

“No! What did you do? You think I couldn't tell how nervous she was? How anxious she was? How wrapped around your finger she is? Did you… I swear if you tried to-”

“I WOULD NEVER!”

Silence flows into the room, like water into a gaping hole.

“I would never…”

“But you did do something .”

It's my fault…

“No… I….”

“What is going on?” She asks again.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her. It’s a misunderstanding-”

“No, What’s going on Claire? With you . You really think I wouldn’t notice? All the little things. Sure, maybe you wouldn’t know what Lord of the Rings is, but you were getting things wrong about yourself . You don’t know how long you’ve been here? You’ve been here for four years Claire. I remember the day you left for Japan. Francois doesn't make watches. You don’t know what sushi is? You don’t even talk the same. And everyone is acting like it’s fucking normal? Even your mom? Am I on the fucking Truman show? What the fuck is happening with you?”

I swallow…

“I’m not the same Claire you knew.”

“No shit.”

“No… I don’t have her memories.”

Manaria pushes past Catherine. It causes her to stumble. She grabs the collar of my shirt. “What load of shit are you talking about?”

Ohhhh , I can’t help but glare at her. I should be going after Rae, not dealing with this . “Exactly as I told you, now let me go. I need to find Rae.”

“No, you’re not going anywhere near her until I get some answers. I’m sick of your mom pretending like this is normal. Your butler has no idea what’s going with you either. I’m not an idiot Claire. Answers .”

“I told you! I don’t have my memories! My memories come from a different life. I don’t care if you don’t believe me. You’re in my way!”

“Bullshit!”

“We were all there before Manaria—that’s why I know about Eve. That’s why I know you cared about her and you blame yourself for what happened. Because you told me about it.”

That gets her to drop my collar. “You don’t know anything .”

“This life is different, but it’s like a mirror.”

There's a deep exhale from Manaria. “This is stupid. Catherine, tell her she’s lost her mind.”

Catherine just glares and stands next to me, she’s… “No. Fuck off Manaria, you stupid bitch.”

CATHERINE?!

That also catches Manaria completely off guard. “What did you call me?”

“You heard me. I don’t know what happened with you like Claire does but you have some nerve coming in here accusing Claire of what? What you did?” Catherine is vicious.

“You weren’t fucking there, Catherine.” Manaria seethes.

“And you weren’t fucking here!” She shouts back at her.

“I know what I saw when I caught Rae running out of the building! And now both of you are trying to feed me some stupid story about Claire’s memories?” Her voice trembles in anger.

“ Manaria . I am responsible for that. I’m not lying. I wasn’t… here for the last twenty years. But I lived a lifetime before and I remember that . I was with Rae. We were all there. I was a noble, you were a princess… and then a Queen.”

She grits her teeth, “Oh? And why would I even begin to think that might be true. Maybe you might think so, but to me it sounds like you lost your mind.”

“You apologized to her! To Eve!”

That silences her. Manaria has to swallow before she speaks again, with less bite this time. “Oh, and we magically made up and everything went back to normal?”

She is trying to hide it, but I hear it in her voice. She wants it to be true.

“No. But it's what you need to do.”

She laughs, bereft of humor. “Oh I need to?”

“Yes! Don’t act like you are happy. It made you miserable, and you are still miserable because of it. You care about her. You need to make it right.”

“I don’t need to hear any of this!” She shouts, but it lacks bite. “If you know everything then why did your toy run out of here crying?”

“She’s not my toy!”

“Could have fooled me! You act like she belongs to you. You want me to drop some bombs too? You're gonna to lose her like I lost Eve.” She glares at me. She means for that to hurt.

It does .

“God you’re so full of shit Manaria. Get the fuck over yourself already. You gave up .” Catherine manages to barrel back in, taking up more space than her smaller frame would seem to allow. “You know what the difference is ? Claire wants to fix this and you're in the way because you think what exactly? Claire wants to make Rae happy!”

“Catherine…” I put a hand on her shoulder and let out a heavy breath. “Look Manaria, I don’t care if you believe what I told you about Eve, or if you think I’m crazy or not. I did hurt Rae, and I need to understand what happened. I need to understand what I have been doing to her… and I need to fix it. She thinks… at least I think so… that this is her fault. I need to talk to her. Please Manaria, let me go.”

She glares at me, but I can see the fire dying. She sighs and runs a hand up over her face.

“I love her Manaria. She saved me before and I would fight the world to save her.”

Her hand slides halfway down her face. “What is going on?”

“This keeps happening. Last time it was Rae. This time it’s me. I found her again, and I… I can’t let her do this alone.”

“You really think that?” She's skeptical.

“Yes.”

“This is crazy… Your mom knows?”

“Yes… a few people know, but only a few.”

“Christ… So that’s it? She believes it.” She looks at Catherine. “You believe it too?”

“Yes.” Catherine always has my back .

Manaria looks like she wants to say something but struggles with how to say it. Eventually she just groans and runs her hands over her face again. “ Fuck I feel like I’m going crazy… What happened with Rae? You didn’t…”

No!

“I think she’s been trying to do too much. I think… I worry she thinks she has to measure herself against the Rae from before. I asked her to do something she used to know how to do… and she couldn’t.” That's all I gathered…

“And you didn’t… know?”

“I knew something was eating away at her, but I thought it was either due to our severe studying, or the fact that a traumatic anniversary is around the corner. She used to cook to relax… I was trying to help…”

Manaria closes her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Catherine gl


ares at her. “ Ohh ?”

Manaria sighs. “Yes. Look I assumed… Rae reminded me of Eve, especially just now. I should have stopped. She tried to ask me to stop but she… let me do it anyway… And then father opened the office door while doing an interview…she couldn’t say no… I should have known better…” She takes a breath and looks at me. “I didn’t know what was going on with you… and it still sounds crazy but… I thought you did… what I did…”

“Manaria, you can apologize to her still.”

“I can’t… not right now anyways. Look, it's not your problem. And you need to find your girl.”

I reach out and pull her into a hug. She makes a surprised sound. “Manaria, I will help you.”

It takes her a moment to respond, “One day… maybe.”

“Apologizing is simpler than you think it is.”

“Look, this is great and all, but let's find Rae?” Catherine sounds like her patience for Manaria has expired. “Can you text her roommate? See if or when she’s back? Then maybe we can try checking out spots around here. Maybe she’s still close by.”

I let go of Manaria. “You're right, I’ll text Misha right now.”

I’m going to find her.


It jiggles. The recipe didn’t say anything about jiggling after refrigeration.

Just breathe.

“Okay, time for the final touches.” Claire beams as she announces that and hands me a small device.

She even got a special lighter for it, okay, that’s kinda cool. But she definitely planned this.

Hrmm .

Click.

A little jet of fire spouts from the end.

Cool . Wow that's a powerful little flame. Okay so just like the videos, ease the flame over the top of the first custard and oh that’s neat. This is actually kinda fun, okay I think that one is done, on to the next.

“We should be ready in just a bit Claire” I start the second one, focusing on it and careful easing the flame, soon the third, forth, fifth and just the sixth one now-

“Rei!” Claire shouts. I turn to her and I can see the panic in her eyes. Oh no, did I mess up, did I do that wrong? What did I- “Your arm! The Sleeve!” She’s shouting?

“Huh?” I look to my right hand, the lighter is there. I look to the left, and there is a flame licking up the sleeve of my hoodie.

I blink.

“Shite!” What? Did Claire swear? What is going on ?

Fuck! Oh I need to put this out. “What do I do?” There is an overwhelming urge to swing my arm around, but that might spread the flames? That would be bad. Shit what do I do? Stop drop and roll?

Claire then does a snap and points at my flames, there is an intense look of concentration on her face and she just stands there afterwards.

Did she just try to Roy Mustang away the fire?

“I can’t do magic!” She shouts.

“No shit!” I need to do something .

Then there is a pair of hands on my shoulders, “Christ you two are something.” And Catherine guides me to the sink, flicks the water on and pulls my arm under the flow and soaks the flame. She then drops a pot cover of the crème brûlée that still had a little ember on it. Oh.

I’m stupid .

My sleeve soaks through, I can probably pull it back. I inspect the sleeve, and fuck… it’s definitely ruined, the flame tore through a fair bit…

“Are you okay, did you get burned?” Claire comes beside me and I feel a hand placed on my shoulder but I just jump back and break the connection. She hesitates from closing in again and maintains the new spacing.

She’s just trying to help you, you idiot. “Yah, sure. I….” I pull my hoodie off, It’s my Persona one too…

Fuck .

“Rei?”

Worry about that later. I check my arm, and it doesn’t look like it got burned, but now that it's not under the running water, I do feel it. I sigh, “Do we have an ice pack?”

“Ahead of you Oohashi” I hear the fridge door close and Catherine hands me an ice pack wrapped in a cloth. I press it to my arm, and can feel it soothe quickly.

That was stupid.

It’s quiet for what feels like way too long, but that’s probably just me stuck in my head. Again.

Claire fidgets with her hands. “I’m sorry Rei, I panicked and fire magic was my specialty… I just did…” This isn’t your fault Claire.

“No, that's fine, It was my fault. I should have paid attention. It’s fire, I was careless , not paying attention . I should have put two and two together and checked that the flame went out before going to the next one…” I’m…

“Mistakes happen, we all make them Rei.” I know she is trying to sound comforting, but I bet Rae Taylor never did anything stupid like this. She probably came out of the womb knowing how to make crème brûlée, how to make tea just right, how to make mayonnaise from scratch.

Top student.

Perfect mother and wife.

Best magic user.

A Hero of the revolution.

I tried…

I feel a hand on my shoulder. Great, I'm stewing here and just worrying her.

“Rei, how about you sit down, here let me lay out your hoodie to dry.” She guides me to a sofa and then takes my hoodie away.

I wish I could do what she thinks I can do.

I hear some more shuffling. It sounds like some dishes have been laid on the coffee table. I can’t make myself look up right now.

“Rei, it’s best enjoyed soon, would you like to try it?” I glance up quickly, and Claire is over me, she looks worried. She must be disappointed .

“That’s fine Claire, I …”

Claire casts her eyes down, and takes her seat on the sofa close by, but not as close as she tends to.

She taps a spoon to the top of the first one, there is a crunch, “You did an excellent job with the crust.”

I'm afraid to look at her directly again.

She scoops a bit and brings it to her mouth and I can’t help but watch. She makes an ahh at first, but I then see the hesitation, the disappointment . She’s quiet for a moment. It’s not the way she remembers it. She knows .

I knew it.

“Well I hope you enjoy the crème brûlée Claire, it’s late and I should be going.” I get up. I shouldn’t even be here .

“Rei? What’s wrong?” Claire is quick to chase after me, “At least wait for your hoodie to dry. Talk to me please.”

And say what, I’m not what you want? I hate that I can’t be your Rae.

“I’m F-fine, it’s fine, everything is fine.T-the hoodie is ruined. You can… just throw it out. I’m sorry about the fire. G-Good night.” I open the door, quickly close it behind myself and start walking down the hall.

I hear a “Rei” but she doesn’t follow.

All I had to do was make some fucking crème brûlée.


Claire mumbles, “I told Lene to take us someplace more lowkey,” she sighs, “Oh well, I suppose this must be lowkey to my old standards.”

I feel so out of place, everything here looks way too high class. But Claire doesn’t let us stand about for too long. She is quickly attended to by staff and she starts quickly listing off what she is looking for but I can barely keep up with the types of clothes she is describing. She wasn’t kidding when she said she had ideas, and the attendant dutifully listens, and then turns to me and asks my size before leaving us to fetch the clothes I guess.

“This feels too much Claire-chan…”

“Don’t worry, I made sure the staff won't bring anything ostentatious.”

“But won't everything be expensive?”

Claire shrugs, “It might be but I wont pick more than a few articles for you, and I will try to pick the more moderately priced clothes. Don’t worry the staff understood what I am looking for, that includes the cost.”

Before I can really say much more, the staff returns and we are taken to a changing room. Claire briefly flips through the clothes, before she nods content with the selection and hands them to me while pushing me into the personal chamber.

“I’m not sure what these will look like until you try them on, I’ll wait out here.”

And then it’s just me behind the curtain.

The stack of clothes doesn’t look too big…

It’s a couple pants and shirts… are these men’s clothes?

“Is this right?” I ask over the curtain.

“Yes, if you don’t like it we can try something else, but I figured this was a safe start.”

Safe?

“Aren’t these… I don’t know… they look like men's clothes?”

“They are masculine, but they should fit you just fine. Trust me.”

I gulp, am I overthinking this? It’s not like I wanted to wear a skirt or anything. It’s quick enough to try on the first set, and they fit pretty well I think. The pants are simple, I think? Black and a bit sleek, they definitely feel nicer than any pair I have, and more form fitting then I thought they would be. The shirt is a teal button up, it doesn’t look formal, but I guess it also feels stylish? It has a collar.

I have no idea if this looks good, but it doesn’t feel bad.

I think?

I guess Claire will be the judge of that, I make sure the shirt is tucked in and step out. She perks up and smiles instantly. A quick silent appraisal and then she hums in thought, “One moment.” She steps around the corner and pretty quickly returns holding another shirt… or a coat? “Wear this over it.”

I… have no idea what this is called, is this just a coat? It’s a little thicker but pretty light still, and the color matches the pants. I pull my arms through it, it’s a little loose in the shoulders I think but otherwise I think it’s the right size? I catch myself in the mirror. It almost looks like a suit jacket I guess, but nowhere as formal. It feels casual but very stylish.

And… okay… maybe it does look good? I let myself see other angles, and I can’t really complain. Huh, maybe Misha was right the other day.

“So what do you think?”

Huh, this is kinda gay… isn’t it? Kinda tomboy vibes? I wasn’t expecting that.

“It’s not too much?”

“I think it suits you very well , Hmmm, yes that jacket brings it together I think. The pants could be tightened up a bit in the back,” I catch her eying my butt, wait really? “I think they should be able to provide a better shape, is the jacket loose?”

She runs her hands over the spot to feel, “I think so? This looks good?”

“Of course, but only if you like it.” She is still giving the appearance a discerning eye.

“It’s not too…?”

“Too what? Masculine?”

“Ohh, I meant… gay?”

She quirks her brow, “I haven’t a clue what passes for that here, but I know it suits you. You were never one for a dress. Would you want to try a dress?”

“No! Umm, not really?”

“You did wear a suit to our wedding.”

I…

Wedding…?

Claire chuckles, fuck I must be blushing again, this isn’t fair.

I…

“Do you like it when I wear a suit?”

She smirks, “ Very .”

I gulp, and step towards her, barely an inch away from her, “Then maybe I should wear a suit.”

She blushes slightly and grins. Then she pulls me in for a quick kiss and then pushes me back towards the private chamber, “Patience Reiiii. ”

What the fuck did I just do?

How did I just do that? Where the fuck did that come from?

Fuck all my nerves are coming in now, my legs feel like jelly.

Oh fuck.

That kinda ruled.


“Sixty-eight percent?” This is terrible, this can’t be right.

“That’s really not that bad, all things considered Claire-chan.”

I know Rae is trying to make me feel better but I also know this is not a good score.

“What did you get?”

“What?”

I reach over to her test and she panics, making a dash to intercept me, “What did you get?”

“Noooo” she swipes her test away from my reach, I just lean over her and try to pull it from her grasp, “Claire-chan, this isn’t fair!” she whines.

I lean into her ear, “Be a good girl for me.” She freezes and I manage to swipe her test finally.

“Claire-chan! That’s not fair.”

I turn the pages over, “Ninety-four percent?” Heavens, I really did poorly.

“Claire-san you shouldn’t compare our results, it’s not fair.”

“Most things aren’t fair till we make them, I need to improve.”

“You will,” She swipes the test back, not as though I give her any fight anymore, “Look it’s the first test so it wasn’t that hard but I didn’t have to cram ten plus years into my head in less than two weeks. And all the studying I have been helping you with has been helping me too.”

“I should have done better.” I shouldn't be pouting.

She groans, “Look there will be more tests, we can get you there but you are doing good, you passed which is a miracle that you got to that point.”

“I suppose…” I’m sure if I stare at the test hard enough I can will it to burst into flames, damned be the fact that my magic is gone.

“Hi Claire-chan.” I perk up as I hear Pepi, Loretta is in tow behind her, “How did the test go.” She narrows her eyes at Rae. She isn’t going to let up, is she.

“It should be better, sixty-eight percent.” I know it is what it is but I can’t stop my frustrations. I used to be a teacher!

Pepi hums. Loretta decides to comment, “Wasn’t your tutor supposed to help your grades?” Oh no… is she jealous? Loretta No!

“It’s not her fault, I’m to blame. It’s just been a struggle for me.”

Pepi hums again, “Sounds like you need a better tutor huh, or are you just not trying very hard Oohashi-san?”

Rae bristles at the implication, “I am doing what I can!”

“It’s not her fault.” I try to warn them.

Pepi however seems not willing to let it end quite there, “Really, is she even taking it seriously? You keep saying you are studying, studying, studying. You can’t make events anymore? We never even see you anymore.”

“Pepi-chan!” She stops at my reprimand, as if catching herself finally. She looks apologetic but doesn't say anything. “There has been so much to cover and it’s like I have had to relearn everything all over again. She has been helping a lot. I’m not happy with my results,” I sigh, “But it is better than I would have gotten before alone, much better.”

Rae’s right, she usually is.

It doesn’t make me grit my teeth any less.

“If you say so…” Loretta pouts, and side eyes Rae.

“Can you at least make one party this week? Look, you can even bring your… tutor with you. Rod Bauer-san has the sports bar rented out for Saturday. Everyone who matters will be there.”

I do feel guilty. I have been largely absent from the social life the old me used to have, I keep seeing messages from other classmates… I need to study though, that much is obvious but can I afford to ignore everyone else? If nothing else I am alienating Pepi and Loretta, that doesn’t sit right with me.

“Rae-chan, what do you think? Could you at least come with me?” I try to whisper to her.

The gears are winding in her head as she considers, her lips draw into a straight line, “Ugh, maybe? You want me to come?”

“Yes please, I am going to be so lost as it is.”

She does not look enthused at the prospect, chewing at her lip.

I pout.

She instantly folds.

Claire…

But I need her!

“Okay, Yes I’ll come, but I’m not drinking, okay.”

“That’s fine, I don’t want to drink too much either.” It’s too easy to drink too much. I pull back from our whisper and Pepi does not look impressed but at least she waited. “Okay, yes, I will do what I can to be there, umm which bar is it?”

Pepi’s face scrunches, “Really, it’s the sports bar, Bar forty four, the one we usually go to.”

“Right, of course.” I can’t let her know that I have no idea where that is.

“You okay Claire-chan?”

“Of course, just tired, it’s been a lot of studying.”

“Hmm, well okay, we will see you then, make sure she dresses better, she can’t be… that.” I do not appreciate her tone…

Rae looks like she is about to say something, but just pouts. That was rude Pepi… but I won’t start a fight over it. “I will make sure we both look great, and I’m sorry for worrying the two of you.”

The apology surprises both of them, “Uh, sure thing Claire-chan, Okay, well we have to get going.”

“We do?” Loretta questions.

“Yes.” Pepi starts to drag Loretta away, who just acquiesces to it.

Once they are out of earshot Rae groans and slumps on her desk. “I have to dress up?”

“Don't worry, I will find something for you.”

Rae groans.

“I know what works for you, I might even be able to have Lene take us somewhere if she can book an appointment for Catherine this weekend.”

“Wait, what.. you don’t need to buy me clothes?”

“I don’t need to, but I will.”

“But-”

“Trust me Rae chan, I won’t go overboard and consider it a thank you for all the tutoring. I know what looks good on you and what you like.”

She still looks apprehensive.

“If you don’t like it, we won't get it, but let’s try at least…. Please?”

Her resistance  crumbles, “Fine.” She sighs and then pouts, “But not too much, K?”

“Of course, would you happen to know the bar Pepi-chan mentioned?”

“No, but I can look it up later, Misha might know, Misha might even be there if Yu-san is going… umm how long do we need to be there?”

“I don’t know… but I suspect long enough to socialize. I worry there will be too many people I don’t recognize…” Some faces I do recognize from before, but for everyone I do, I see two I don't. The student body is massive.

“Hmm yah that could be a problem but I don’t know, if it’s a party at a bar it might be loud and you might be able to half-ass conversations? I actually don’t know what it’s going to be like there, ughhhhhhh.” I do sympathize with her.

“Hrmmm, I suppose we will have to see.” I can’t really say I am looking forward to just diving into the unknown like this. “Thank you for coming with me Rae, if you want, we can spend the following day doing something more relaxing, I would like to continue that game from before.”

She smirks, “Sure, we will probably need to do some more studying before and over the weekend at some point, but I would like that too… So umm… what do you think of it so far?”

“Oh I don’t even know where to begin… it’s just such a marvel of… engineering? Science? Having our little person move around is… well to borrow the colloquialism; cool. And it has such catchy music, and the story is very interesting. We have to stop Kamoshido, what a vile person. I know it’s just fiction but I really want to put a stop to him.”

She laughs softly, “Yah he really sucks, he is a great way to set the stage for the game… I don’t know if I would say it holds up in the same way throughout the rest of the game but yah. And I don’t know if you also thought it too, but when I played it with the fem mod, the first time, and the part comes where they leak that your a delinquent to the whole school, in my head I was like oh, they also leak that the MC is trans too, and that's why everyone is always misgendering you and it makes it all comes around in my head in a strong way… but yeah I don’t know if you also…” She is getting self conscious as she catches herself rambling.

I did not consider that, but I can see it now. It’s an odd concept, taking the narrative and having something changed with the ‘mod’ that she mentioned. It’s such a different way of engaging with the narrative then I am used to but there is something about it that feels intuitive, and her interpretation… “That does make sense… we have to beat that man up.”

Rae laughs, “Don’t worry we can get there.”

“Misaki would be proud of you.”

“Wh


at?”

Maybe I didn’t have to bring that up, but…

“I… you did a lot of good, you helped a lot of people in our old life, Like Misaki. I know it’s still fresh but I just wanted to let you know that and… I don’t know what will arise now but I will be here to help with anything, okay?”

She looks a bit fragile, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it, but she does smile after she collects her thoughts, “Thanks Claire-chan. I don’t want to say anymore goodbyes… buuuut we really should get going, we are going to be late to the next class if we don’t leave soon and I really don’t need your lackeys having more reasons to plot my murder.”

“Pepi and Loretta, but yes, you are right.”

“The tall one really doesn’t like me.”

“Her name is Loretta, I… I think that might be because she has had a… crush on me.”

“Uh yah.”

“I can’t believe I never noticed- wait you knew?” Did everyone but me know?

“I mean have you seen how she looks at you? Of course I recognized it!”

“Oh god… hrmm, what do you mean you recognized it?

“Ahhhhh, well you know…. Game knows game….?” She tries to jest.

“No, I want to hear you say it.”

She groans.

“ Raeeeeeee .”

“Ugh! Yes, of course I also have a massive crush on you.” I love when her voice trails off into a whisper.

“Excellent, we should get going as you said then.” I run a hand down her arm and I can see a shiver cascade from the point of contact, I then rise and make way towards our next destination. I can’t help but smirk as she pouts.

“Ugh what? Wait, oh come on. CLAIRE-SAN! That's not fair…”


“Claire-chan, you’re using too much force when you crack the eggs.” Ai-san has taken a moment to look away from her pot as I try to crack several eggs into a measuring cup.

Surely cracking an egg can’t be that hard…

“Look, there are egg shells in the cup.” She plucks out several pieces with a pair of chopsticks.

Oh.

“Sorry…Gwah! This is infuriating!” I can’t even break things correctly.

There is a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Claire-chan, you said you are learning to cook. Have you ever done this before?”

“Not until recently. I’ve never had to do it before. I’ve always had…someone that did it for me.” It was always Rei before. But I want to do it this time!

Ai-san hums as she mixes some vegetables. “I also had to learn later in life. I never had a chance before I was out on my own. It is a lot to learn, and a lot to keep track of.”

“It’s just…why is this so difficult? I thought I was getting better. I learned how to make a decent dessert, but now that I’m trying to help with dinner I keep ruining it.”

“As long as you don’t mistake the sugar for salt again, we should be fine. We can pick out the egg shells. Mistakes are how we learn, Claire-chan.” We used to say the same thing to our own daughters back in Bauer.

“At least with baking the instructions are clear. But how am I to know how much is ‘to taste’?”

“Experience, dear. It’s easy to add too much seasoning. You just need to practice. When in doubt, always start by adding less than you think you need. You can add more later, but the reverse is not true.”

I refuse to be bested by simple cooking!

“You have an excellent palette, and you know what tastes good. That’s maybe the most important thing when it comes to cooking. You can always cook smaller portions to avoid wasting food until you feel confident in the dish.”

“I suppose.” It is a terrible feeling to waste a pot of food, it’s true.

“Oh, you have just the cutest pout!” Ahhh—did she just pinch my cheeks? “I can see why Rei likes you.”

I rub my cheeks; that was very sudden. I am once again reminded of Rae’s mother in Euclid. She had some sudden habits of her own.

“You can’t do this with every dish, but you can sometimes cheat and test the food as it’s cooking. Here.” Ai-san holds a piece of carrot between a pair of chopsticks. “This early in the cooking process, you can easily see that it’s still too hard.”

I reach out to take the carrot with my fingers and Ai-san pulls it away.

“Just eat it from the chopsticks, Claire-chan, so it won’t burn your fingers.”

“Oh, but…”

“These chopsticks won't go back into the food, don’t worry.”

I lean over and taste the food. She’s right, it’s still quite hot, but I think I would have been fine taking it with my fingers. The carrot is still quite hard.

“Obviously everyone has a different preference for how well done they like their vegetables. The longer we leave it cooking, the softer it gets. And if we leave it for too long, it will turn into mush. Or burn. I like to make sure it’s a bit crunchy. In a few minutes I’ll take it off the heat and let it cool down.”

“I see.” When I asked Ai-san to show me several recipes, I hadn’t expected her to put so much effort into teaching me. We’ve done this several nights in a row, and even with all my mistakes she has been incredibly patient throughout the whole process.

“Most vegetables are safe to check while cooking, but obviously you can’t do the same thing with meat. Always be careful with raw meat——you don’t want to get sick from bacteria. You can always check how long you need to cook meat, and I like to use a thermometer to ensure that it hits the right temperature.”

“The heat kills the bacteria, right?” I hope that’s not a stupid question.

“Correct. As long as meat meets the minimum time and temperature you should be good. Some meats you can cook for longer, which affects the texture. Sometimes people slow cook meat over a long period on a lower heat so it can get very tender.”

“Like in a curry.”

“In some curries, yes. But sometimes you can cook meat for even longer than in a curry. I like to cook mine for around fifty minutes.” She removes the pan from the heat. “Let's make sure all of the shells are out of the eggs. Biting into an egg shell is very unpleasant.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry dear, it happens. I still make a mess of eggs too.” She uses a fresh pair of chopsticks to snatch up the stray fragments. “So, Rei mentioned you’re from France? Your Japanese is very good.”

“Yes, I’m from France, and thank you. I’ve been in Japan for a while already. I moved here six years ago with Mother and Catherine.” Or is it seven now?

“Oh? What does your mother do?” Ai-san looks like she is satisfied with the eggs now that the shells are gone.

“Did Rei not mention it?”

Ai-san sighs. “She said a little about it, but getting my daughter to share information is like pulling teeth.”

I can’t help but laugh. Rei is rather obstinate and reticent. Frustratingly so at times. “I wouldn’t have minded her telling you. Mother owns and runs a large company. Perhaps you have heard of Francois?”

Ai-san has her attention on another pot, stirring to keep the contents from burning. “Francois?” She continues to stir, then freezes. The spoon slips from her hand into the pot. “That Francois!?” She abruptly turns to look at me, wide-eyed with surprise.

“Your spoon!”

“Shit.” She grabs a pair of chopsticks to fish out the spoon. “Francois?!”

“Yes. I take it that you are familiar with the company?”

“And you’re dating my daughter?”

I can’t help but sigh. “Please Ai-san, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“But you’re—”

“Just another person. It is true that we are wealthy, but you don’t need to treat me any differently.”

“But…I made you cook with me.” She’s not quite listening to me.

“Please, I asked you to let me help. To teach me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Positive.”

She still looks a bit unsure. To think, I used to expect people to act like this around me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…it was just a surprise. How did you two even meet?” Oh no, now she is nervous.

“Please, Ai-san, it’s fine. Really. Rei and I shared classes. I saw her and knew she was the one instantly.” This time around, at least.

“Aww, what a precious story. Oh goodness, we gave you a futon to sleep on.” She can’t help but place a hand to her forehead. “And no wonder you didn’t know how to cook. You probably have all sorts of fancy chefs cooking for you.”

“Ai-san, it’s okay, really. I don’t want you to give me special treatment. Please don’t treat me like I’m royalty.”

Ai-san takes a breath, then resumes stirring the pot again. “Okay, I’ll try. This was the last thing I had imagined. Your family is…wealthy, I assume?” She still sounds shell-shocked.

“Yes, my family is very privileged, but please don’t feel like you have to treat me differently than you did before you knew. As far as I am concerned, the only thing that matters is that I love Rei.”

“You really do love her, don’t you?”

“I truly do. It surprised me when I first realized it, but there is no one else in the world for me.” Then, now, or the next time.

Ai-san is still stirring the pot. The tension finally leaves her shoulders, and she smiles softly. “Even though you two just started dating?”

“Yes.”

“Have you told her?”

“Many times.”

Ai-san sighs softly. “And what if it doesn’t work out? Rei comes from a very different world than you do.” More than she realizes.

I feel my chest tighten. “I don’t think either of us wants to give this up.”

Ai-san sets the spoon to the side and lowers the heat on the pot. She puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it gently, smiling. “I think you might be right. You’ve made Rei very happy. I don’t mean to sound like I’m questioning your relationship, but…”

“I know how it seems. I know we’re both still very young and that we have very different backgrounds. But I know what I feel is real, and I have no problem saying it to anyone. This feeling is for her alone, and I know it will last.” We did it once together before, and we will do it together again. “I want so much for her.”

Ai-san smiles softly. “Rei is certainly lucky to have found you, then. Is your mother okay with the relationship? With you dating another woman?”

“Mother loves Rei, and it was never an issue for her as far as I know. Haha, she found out in a very embarrassing manner. Goodness.”

“Embarrassing?” There is an edge to her voice. “How so?”

“Oh, I, we were…I mean we were umm…kissing, we were kissing and she walked in unexpectedly.”

Ai-s


an’s eyes go wide in shock. “Before marriage?” She sounds so scandalized. Oh no, is she more conservative than I thought?

“What? I mean—”

She grins and pokes my nose. “I’m only teasing, Claire-chan. You wanted me to treat you like any other person, right? You’re both adults, and I’m glad that you’re happy together.”

She was teasing me? I think I’m going to like this woman.

She pinches my cheeks once again. “You are so adorable, Claire-chan. Well, I think the food just needs to cool off a bit and then we can serve it. Gosh, I can’t believe Rei is dating an heiress!”


The wait is pure agony. I never thought I would feel this nervous watching someone else write a test. There are times when I can see Claire react to something on the test with a momentary expression of surprise or frustration. All I can do is watch quietly. And refill her tea. I don’t want to risk ruining it in any way by doing something that would make Melia doubt Claire’s ability and dedication or think that we were cheating. Melia is taking this time to focus on what I can only guess is some work on her laptop. She frequently looks up to check on Claire, and after a minute of watching her daughter work she returns to whatever is on her screen.

After what feels like eons, Melia finally alerts us that half the allotted time has passed. Claire opts to take a break and visit the restroom. I hastily put on some more water for tea.

“You’re nervous too, aren’t you?.” Melia asks, surprising me.

“Uhh, yeah. It feels like a lot is riding on this test.”

Melia nods, though it’s clear she doesn’t share our feelings of anxiety. When it’s clear she’s not going to say anything in reply, I continue.

“But I think—no, I know she can do it.”

Melia nods again. “How has it been? Living here with her and Catherine?”

I wasn’t expecting that question. “Amazing.” The word jumps out of my mouth without a second thought, but Melia doesn’t seem phased by it. “I mean, I love living with her. With both of them. Here. Umm, thank you. For, you know. This place and everything.” Rei, stop being such a disaster already.

“You and Misha are more than welcome. And despite my insistence, you still don’t use the allowance I offered.” Her tone is level.

“I bought a Playstation!”

Melia looks unmoved. “It’s been four months since you moved in together.”

“Okay, but Claire keeps buying me stuff, too. I don’t want to take advantage of your generosity.”

She clicks her tongue, sounding exactly like Claire. “Rei, it’s not taking advantage when I explicitly offered it. And even if Claire is spending her allowance on you, it doesn’t add up to even a fraction of the bills I’ve gotten in the past from her. Not even close.”

Jeez, how much did she used to spend? And on what?

“Fortunately, this problem will be resolved soon enough,” Melia says softly.

Huh?

We’re interrupted by Claire returning from the restroom. I spring up and head to the fridge, where I fish out an apple and hand it to her.

“Thank you, Rei,” Claire says with a soft smile. My heart…

“You’ve got this, Claire,” I whisper.

She takes a bite of the apple and a bit of juice dribbles out the corner of her mouth. She locks eyes with me, gives me a wink and sensually licks the juice away.

God, I’m the luckiest lesbian ever. Even if she is doing this in front of her mom.

“Mother, how much time is left in my break?” It’s amazing how seamlessly she can switch between flirt mode and exam mode. She’s too powerful.

“I’ll start the timer again in eight minutes. How do you feel?”

“Stressed. But I’ll manage.” Claire sits back down on the barstool to finish her apple. I take the chance to get behind her and give her a quick shoulder massage. It’s definitely the right call, judging from her sighs of relief as I knead my fingers into her tense muscles. I love being able to do this for her.

All too soon, Melia gives us the two minute warning. Claire throws away the apple core and sits back down at her test. Once Melia tells her to begin, she buries herself once more in the papers.

It looks like the break helped—she’s powering through her test a bit faster than before. Silence sets back in, broken only by Melia’s typing and the scratch of Claire’s pencil on the papers. I try to find something to do on my phone, but it feels like I would be just as productive staring at a blank wall. Going elsewhere doesn’t feel like an option, as I’m too anxious not to be here to support Claire.

God, how long has it been?

I check my phone. Really, only fifteen minutes?

I hate my phone.

More time passes. Every minute feels like an eternity.

I can’t be a distraction. Come on, Rei.

Creeeeak.

We all turn our heads to identify the source of the sound. Catherine emerges from her room with a sheepish expression. It looks like she just woke up. “Sorry.”

Claire gives her a thumbs up and immediately returns to her test.

Catherine slinks her way to the sofa as she tries to straighten out her pajamas. Strange, she’s usually up earlier than this.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to sleep in quite this much.”

Melia doesn’t say anything, but she does put a hand on Catherine’s shoulder. She squeezes softly and Catherine sighs.

After Melia returns to her laptop, Catherine looks at me. It’s clear she wants to ask how it’s going but knows better than to break the silence. At least I have some solidarity in anxiousness.

God, this is agony.


“Misha! Francois-san is going to kill me.”

Misha takes a long deep breath and folds her laptop, laying it to the side on her bed. “What did you do this time?”

“She keeps flirting with me! It’s too much!” I don’t know how I made it through the day with all of  the looks, the glances, the very not accidental touches!

Misha looks dumbstruck. Huh, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. “...What?”

“We agreed to take it slow but then she keeps flirting with me and it’s so good and I am GOING to DIE and I need it to stop but I don’t want it to stop when she looks at me with those eyes. Oh God, those eyes, I never understood what it meant when people say it looks like someone’s undressing you with their eyes but then she looks at me and now I understand and I feel like I am going to turn into jelly and melt and turn into dust and scatter into the winds, stardust, I will be stardust and never put back together again!” I need to breathe, dear God. Breathe, Rei!

“Oh boy.”

“Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisha!” I dramatically collapse on the floor next to her bed.

“I can’t help you. I can’t even tell if you want help.” Why won't she help me?

“It’s too much! I ‘m going to OD on Francois-san!”

Misha sighs. “What a problem. Look you have to tell her to cool it if that’s what you want, but I can’t tell if you’re complaining or bragging. Grats on your hot girlfriend, I guess.”

“We aren’t girlfriends yet, and if we were that would mean… everyone would know if we started dating…” I don’t care if everyone thinks I’m an otaku, but…

“You don’t need to go public, but maybe just try it out? I don’t know, if what you said is true, it's also probably an adjustment for her to not be in a relationship with you. Maybe let her have an outlet? Like a date or something.” I swear, it looks like Misha is looking for an escape hatch.

“You think I should bring her on a date ? But, but, but—”

“She said she was married to you in your past life. I’m sure she’ll be happy with whatever, even if you just watch a movie or something. Yeah, just do that. She’s probably never seen a movie, right?” Misha is eyeing the door.

“Maybeee.” What movie would I even show her? Maybe we should try a game instead? She did say would like to see a game earlier. “Sorry, I know I sound insane. I feel like I’m going insane. I’ve been staring at this girl for weeks like an idiot wishing I could do anything to talk to her, and then she just walks up to me and calls me her wife! And now something is happening between us and what if I don’t measure up to her old Rei? What happens when she realizes I’m not who she wants?”

“Ummm… okay maybe I’ve been a little dismissive. This is… well, I don’t think something like this has happened, like, ever. It's like a dumb anime…”

“Those can be fun.” You don’t have to be a snob about them, Misha.

“Whatever you say…”

I huff. She can be so judgy. Still. “Look, thanks for listening. I’m sorry to dump this all on you, I just feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and she just acts like it’s all normal and she has so much faith in me and I don’t understand why. It’s like, she doesn’t  know me, how could she, but then she says something that makes me feel like she knows me better than anyone else ever has. And it’s only been one day!”

“Okay, let's take a step back. Do you want something to happen between you and her? Do you still like her, now that you’re actually talking to her?”

“Yes! I mean yes I do. She’s actually really kind and considerate. I thought that she would… I don’t know, try to downplay things in front of her old friends but then she stuck up for me and made sure they knew she wasn’t okay with them looking down on me, and I wasn’t really expecting that. It was really cool. And they definitely know something is up now, but she was okay with dealing with that.”

“Hmm, yeah that really doesn’t sound like her from what I’ve heard. It’s probably better if she just rips the proverbial band-aid off sooner rather than later. Like, from the rumors I’ve heard, she was kind of a bitch, really keen on climbing the social ladder or whatever. And it doesn’t sound like she acts that way at all now.” Misha shrugs her shoulders.

“I didn’t think you bothered keeping tabs on that kind of stuff.”

“I have my reasons.” Her expression is carefully neutral, but it’s clear she’s hiding something. “I’m sure even people outside of her close circle will notice, but honestly even if it becomes the hot gos for a bit, next week everyone will move on to  something else. Just don’t tell people that it’s because she woke up with new memories. Hell, even telling people that she’s dating you would be a better smokescreen than the truth.”

“Not you too,” I groan.

“I don’t know why you’re complaining when you could just be dating her instead.”

She opens her laptop and turns away, making it clear that Misha-erapy hour is over. I couldn’t just be dating her, right? Could it really be that simple?

Fuck we need an AC.


Chapter Text

There are many good things about being young again. I could wax on about many of the reasons, but surely most of those would be related to Rae, in one way or another. She is young again too. One good thing not directly related to Rae though is I have boundless energy again.

I can do anything .

And that is perfect because this week has been militant, for us both. I can’t tell which of us is pushing themselves more either.

It Is quite the challenge before us. But I won’t fail, a Francois never fails.

After Mother’s mandate, Rae has doubled her efforts. She has a more structured plan now, Modernize Claire Version two point zero . I adore her antics. We have allowed for the weekends to be more flexible, and to use for extra studying as needed. But I have made sure she understands that we need time to breathe, we can’t burnout. She was reluctant, but we agreed in the end. Weekdays however… are an entirely different matter.

We have given ourselves a small time for break after classes, but we reconvene at my place and dive back into the subject matter. The first half of our evenings is directly on the courses. Thankfully, it is making more sense as I dive further in. The nature of ‘modern’ economics was  bizarre compared to Bauer at first, exceedingly more complex, larger. But I can see the foundations that lie in the logic of what I am familiar with, and many things are more alike than my first fears would have had me believe.

The more difficult aspect is the latter half of our evenings. The Modernize part of the plan. Rae and Catherine have agreed that the best place to start is with history, and with that, from the start. Catherine has been walking me through western classical history, and Rae has taken eastern. What was not clear at first was the sheer amount of history. Bauer’s records must have been missing huge swaths, and the world felt much, much smaller. Earth has several continents, and most seem larger than Bauer’s.

And to account for over five thousand years.

Notwithstanding prehistoric history?

A staggering task to say the least.

But an excellent subject and suitable challenge. Rae has found a great many videos. Even some in a different language, English is finally the name I learn for it. Apparently it is a very prominent language of this world, both Rae and Catherine can speak it and they were relieved that I also know it fluently. It just had a different name in my previous life. It seems every one of the languages I knew then has some version here. That was odd, but it really befuddled Rae when I explained it.

So videos, texts, and Wikipedia , oh marvelous wikipedia. A globally shared encyclopedia that is accessible to anyone? Again I balk at how irreverent Rae and Catherine treat it. I can simply just type a subject and it will summon me a page about it?

How incredible.

The Giant Otter’s scientific name is Pteronura Brasiliensis , and it is native to South America and can reach up to a body length of 1.8 meters and they are one of the most social of all otter species.

That might have been a less productive reading on wikipedia, but it was on my own time. I had to look!

Regardless, what a brilliant resource to have. It has made the whole process much more manageable and been an excellent supplement to the whole process.

The very end of the evenings after all of that has been sequestered to learning to use the internet safely myself. Again they have stressed the importance of such. There has been much insistence that I limit myself to very few internet places. Primarily youtube and Wikipedia, and channels should be vetted by either Rae or Catherine. It’s a bit patronizing, I'm not a child , but I hardly have the time to complain.

It has been much. But I do feel good about the amount we have accomplished in such a short time, and it has been good to spend so much time with Rae.

It’s a shame that she leaves every night though.

But could I honestly keep my hands off of her if she did stay the night? If we shared a bed once more?

Would I even want to try?

It’s probably for the best, I keep pushing Rae’s boundaries and she is poor at telling me no. Which isn’t surprising, it is Rae afterall. I need to find better ways, small more manageable ways to build her up, make her more comfortable.

Rae… my wife, my soul mate and partner… she is amazing, and I want to help her to realize that.

But we will have plenty of time for that in the coming days. And tomorrow we will be meeting Shiko to help her. I can’t lie, I am very excited to meet her for the first time. Rae is a bit worried I will have a poor impression of the event and everything associated with it, but seeing people in costumes, selling their own created artwork and literature just sounds joyful. She worries too much.

Tomorrow will be delightful.

Hello Rei, I hope you have made it home safely now, thank you again for the day. It’s always a pleasure.

Yo, yup, safe in my dorm.

You still sure you want to go tomorrow.?

Of course, it would be poor of me to not show up after promising that I would. And I want to meet Shiko.

She can be a lot

just

like….

It will be fine Rei. I am no stranger to interesting people and we are hardly normal ourselves. I am sure she will be fine company, she is your friend after all.

ok

just don’t tell her anything about ur memories.

Of course, It won’t be an issue, and it’s not as if I will have to convince her I am not acting like myself either. She doesn’t know me.

cool

today was great, and thx for helping us with the event. tomrrw is going to be busy

Of course, I’m expecting it. I hope you have a pleasant sleep Rei, good night and see you in the morning.

you to, night Claire <3

How cute.

The spelling of Rei still looks weird; it's how she spells it now, but it doesn’t quite fit right in my head. It was her name originally before she awoke in Bauer, Rae is just what she went by then.

Rae

Rei

It will come with time, I expect.

It feels a little too early to sleep yet, perhaps I could read another chapter of Dungeon Meshi. It’s starting to get very interesting, I hope they finally make it to the dragon soon. It’s getting harder to pace myself.

As I consider that thought, my phone rings in my hands, the caller is unknown… is this one of those scams as Catherine cautioned me of?

I tap the accept, I can just ‘hang up’ if it’s suspicious right? I still don’t quite understand that phrase.

“Hello?”

“Claire?”

“Manaria?”

“Yes, Hi Claire!”

“Manaria, it’s late! What are you doing calling at such an hour? How did you get this number?”

She laughs, “This is late? Please. Besides, my time is still a bit out of it from the jetlag. And I got your number from Lene.”

Jetlag ? “I see, how can I help you?”

She snorts on the other end, “Come on, we’re cousins, don't’ be so formal. I’m bored and wanted to talk. I have been cooped up for a whole week, and you promised me a day on the town.”

“I suppose… but it might have to wait at least a day. I have an event I need to help Rae and her friend with tomorrow. Maybe the day after?”

“Event? What’s that supposed to be?”

“Oh…” I hope I don’t butcher this, “It’s an anime and manga event, and Rae's friend is selling her work at it. It’s here in Tokyo. There are supposed to be people in costume and disguise as well from what Rae said.”

“...Cosplay?”

“Yes, right, that's what she called it.”

“Huh… really, an anime con?”

“Con?”

“Convention?”

“What?”

“Nevermind, I think that's what they call it in the west… really you're going to one of those?”

You don’t need to sound so judgmental Manaria, “Yes, Rae likes it, and we are helping her friend out.”

“Have you even watched any anime?”

“Not… yet, but I’m reading a manga Rae suggested, and we are playing a game that she said is like anime.”

“Heh, cute , what a nerd.”

“Rae says here the phrase is Otaku.” And she’s mine, Manarira.

“So that’s tomorrow huh… You said you’ve been reading something your girlfriend suggested?”

“Oh yes, it’s called Dungeon Meshi, it is about a group of adventurers trying to save one of their companions from a dragon in a dungeon. It's very interesting and lovely. I was going to read a bit more before you called me in fact.”

“Oh… wait, is it the one with the bath scene? That’s been everywhere online, it's an anime right? There were two girls in a bath, one was an elf, it felt really gay?”

That’s surprising, I didn’t know it had an anime, or that Manaria would have heard about it.  “I… I don’t know. I haven’t made it that far if it… are you talking about Marcille and Falin? Wait, stop, don't ruin any surprises… Manaria! Oh goodness, Marcille is in love with her isn’t she?” I can’t stop the groan, of course she is… and of course I didn’t see it unt


il someone said something. “You know what an elf is?”

“Yah? Everyone’s seen Lord of the Rings Claire.”

“Ahh… of course, everyone’s seen that, right, silly me.” I have to ask Rae later what Lord of the Rings is.

Manaria laughs a little, “Of course…hrmm, well I’m dying to know, what happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well for starters you're talking.”

“I…’ve talked.”

“ Sure .”

“I well…?”

“And now you have a girlfriend .”

Wife , but yes. “Yes.”

“You’ve changed Claire.”

“For the better I hope.”

Manaria laughs again, more sincerely this time, “I think so, hard to say otherwise.”

“Hmm… What did you think of me before, if you don’t mind” Perhaps this question is a bit too dangerous, “I only mean to ask because you have more distance correct? I just was curious what that perspective was like, if that makes sense?”

There is a brief pause, the silence feels tense. Mayhap I said too much? “Hrmm, I don’t know what I would say, you were either really withdrawn, or on the rare occasion, Snippy. ”

Snippy? “That bad?”

“I guess… honestly I’m surprised we are having a conversation now.” Manaria’s voice sounds very neutral, intentionally so.

“But you phoned me?”

“Well… I was bored… and I wasn’t sure you would want to talk. Even after we bombed your little explicit hot moment Claire.”

“It… wasn’t that…” She’s overstating it…

“You were chewing on her. I saw the bite mark.” I don't have to see her to know the grin she is making.

“I… Fine, yes. I doubt you can fault me though.”

“She is cute .”

“And mine .”

“Yesh, sheesh, I heard the first time Claire. You act like I want to steal her away.”

Oh don’t you start me with Manaria… “As long as you understand. But yes, I know I’ve changed, I feel better now that I am with her.”

“So how did that happen?”

“Rae?”

“Yes.”

“I saw her and knew… I’m not sure how else to elaborate, I went up and talked to her and we started dating soon after.”

“Really? That’s a bit boring isn’t it?” She sounds a bit let down, it’s not like I could tell her the real story.

“Nonsense, it was love at first sight.”

“Suuuuure…” She sounds even more disinterested with this direction.

“Come now, you must have felt that way about someone before, right?” I know you have. She doesn’t answer though. Fine , “What happened before you came here, a scandal was mentioned…?”

She sighs, “Just google it, Sousse family drama.” She sounds incredibly bitter and sullen. I never thought to do that, but…

“I’m asking you Manaria, I’d rather hear what you have say about it than some strangers. Are you okay?”

“I was caught having sex with my maid, Okay. There were pictures, Claire. I’m problematic, Everyone thinks I assaulted her and now I’m disowned and now everyone knows I’m lesbian. It’s fan-fucking-tastic. Thanks for asking.” The veil fully drops and I can finally hear her anger.

“Eve?”

That startles Manaria, “Wha-How do you know that?”

“Oh… I just must have heard the name before?”

Manaria doesn’t respond.

“I… I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that.”

“I’m sure you would know. Look, can we not right now? It happened. I’m here. I shouldn’t have and people are right, I abused her and my position. End of story.”

It’s not your fault Manaria. “I only mean to help Mana-”

“End. Of. Story. Claire.” She doesn't offer much space to broker otherwise.

“Fine, I’m sorry if I was being too forward.”

She groans again, “Look you didn't do anything… maybe later, but not tonight please.”

“Yes, good, later. I am glad to see you for what it’s worth, Manaria.”

“Even if I walked in on you almost having sex.” The teasing edge is back in her voice, at least it’s better than the self loathing form before.

“It wasn’t going to… look we aren’t there…” yet , “And yes. Even if you walked in on us in that state It’s good to see you again.”

“Thanks, you do seem a lot better now.” There is a bit of sincerity in her voice.

“Thank you, I have to thank Rae for that, I think.”

“You really do like her?” What is she testing for?

“Of course I do, and I will do everything I can to make sure it stays that way.”

There is a brief silence, hopefully Manarai takes that hint. The less other women chasing after Rae the better. “Sooo… what did your mom have to talk to you about?”

Oh hells, “There was a matter regarding my school work…” How do I even explain this?

“Don’t tell me your grades are tanking because you are too lost in eating up your girl.”

Oh, that’s convenient I suppose, “I… maybe? It’s complicated. Mother wanted to talk about Catherine too, and then she wanted to make sure she didn’t scare off Rae… It was a good talk, I needed it. It was just a lot, for everyone.”

“Hmm, I see. Well I suppose you made out better than me on that front.” She chuckles, wait did she…

“It’s not a competition.” I would be winning by any metric but that feels hollow with how terrible of a hand Manaria was just dealt.

“So humble.” It’s hard to not hear the grin again. ”Either way, congrats, I hope it goes better for you.” And there is the self loathing.

There has to be something I can do. “We can have lunch or dinner on Sunday, how does that sound?”

“Sure I will keep my very busy schedule open for you, honestly anything is better than staring at the walls. Just let me know and Lene can drop me off.”

“Of course, I’ll arrange something after tomorrow’s event… I think I am due to retire for tonight if you don’t mind, it was lovely talking to you.”

“Ha, don’t let me hold you up, I’ll cya later Claire, Night.”

“Good night Manaria.”

And with that the phone dismisses the call, well that was interesting. There is much I’ll have to get to the bottom of that later I suppose. I hope I can at least offer her more proper advice later. She is being far too harsh on herself, I know she is. Poor Eve, I hope she is managing better than the last time… Hmm, I can only hope Salas isn’t to blame again. I haven’t had to think of the vile man for a long time… He really was connected to many terrible plots. And Lilly… goodness I haven’t seen her yet either. I hope she is doing well… It’s been a while since I have seen her. I hope we don’t have a repeat of her absolutely infuriating crush with Rae again. That went on for far too long the last time, and I don’t need to live through that again. Mayhaps Yu is acquainted with her too again, but I should be careful with such questions. I don’t want to raise her suspicions.

I’ll need to make sure that’s not a problem here too. In due time Salas, in due time.

For now, I was going to read more Dungeon Meshi. This is exciting, they are finally going to fight the dragon.


“Sorry if I came off… a little concerned.”

We are sitting at a fast food place and Claire’s been a little quiet since we left to pick up dinner.

“Oh… well I’m kinda dumb like that.”

“You’re not dumb, I know you just like to focus on one thing.”

“Oh.” Well that's putting it nicely…

She lets out a small breath. “I did really enjoy playing today, I can’t believe we got so caught up and lost track of time like we did.” At least it sounds like she's not trying to let it hang over us.

“Well you were getting close to finishing the palace. And you seemed like you were having fun.”

“I was, I beat Madarame!” She smiles, okay I feel better now. “Next time no more than six hours. We need to at least take a break, goodness I felt so ravenous. But it was satisfying finishing it all today. I see why you like these games so much, I’m sorry you didn’t have them in our life before.”

“Oh… I guess? I’m sure… I? Had other things to do?” No video games would suck…

“Oh we found ways to fill the time.” She's grinning.

She means me…

I’m going to die at this rate. Death by Claire is not the worst way to go out.

“But I beat him. Goodness it was too close for a moment, I panicked when Ann fell after Yusuke. If I hadn’t remembered I had those medicines I might have lost …. What would have even happened if that were to occur?”

“Oh, you reload an old save and try again, well actually the game lets you start at the start of the fight again too.”

“Oh, I was worried for a moment… that it might have been worse? That the game ended?”

“It sort of is a game over? Some people play it that way. The game has a bunch of ways it could end early besides losing a fight too. Like if we never beat Kamoshida in time that would have ended the game.”

“Oh… that makes sense.” Aaaaaa, her thinking face is so cute.

“Yah, I think it tells us that the MC, uhhh Joker and Ryuoji get expelled. It’s not a good ending.”

“I see.” She takes another bite of her food, she seems stuck on a new thought. “Rei, quite soon is Misaki's anniversary.”

Shit. God I have not really wanted to think about it.

“It’s been a few weeks since we were with Shiko and she mentioned it… and I just wanted to know what you wanted to do?” Her voice is so soft…

“Oh… I think I was going to go home and… and y’know?”

She leans over and lays her hand next to mine. “Is it alright if I come?”

I reach my pinky out over one of her fingers. “You don’t have to come.”

“I never miss it, Rei.” I believe her.

“Are you sure…? It’s not going to be…”

“Of course I am, but that’s only if you are okay with it. I know when Shiko mentioned it I said I would come but I wanted to make sure. And you haven’t said anything since then.”

“Oh… yeah sorry.”

“I understand. It's fine silly, I do want to come.”

“Oh… yeah. Okay. Yeah, I was going to jump on a train back home to Chiba, meet up with Shiko and Kosaki then go visit Misaki.”

“That sounds lovely.” Her hand moves over mine and she holds it over the table. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine?” I apologized and she's happy, did I forget something?

“About Misaki.”

“Oh… I, it’s okay.”

“Rei, it’s okay if you don’t feel okay about it.”

“I… I don’t get it… like Misaki… ou... outed me in middle school. Because he was jealous? And then we went to different high schools, and I don’t think I could have been in the same high school but I… I don’t know. Kosaki had him apologize for it and they told us about him being trans and all that and I guess it makes sense. Like his parents were always shitty to him about it. But I thought it was going okay. Kosaki was with him. I just wanted distance from that. And then he di-” The word dies in my throat, I thought I was holding it together but then it all feels like it comes down at once. My eyes are watering and I’m afraid if I try to speak again my voice will crack.

Claire looks worried, she massages my hand slowly. “It’s okay Rei, focus on your hand okay?” Her thumb runs up and down the back of it. Her fingers slowly work the palm. Her hand is so soft and gentle.

“Do you want to keep talking about it?” She asks.

Breathe

I try to focus on her hand. “He died.”

“I’ll be here. I’ll always be here, okay?”

Her hand is so nice.

“I’m sorry… I’m not great at… talking about this stuff. I’m sure the other me was…”

Her hand stills, “Rei.” It feels like I'm commanded, I’m compelled to look at her. “What do you mean?”

I’m worse.

I can’t say that, she would hate that.

“I know it's difficult  to talk about yourself.” She resumes running her thumb over my hand. “I’m sorry. It must be harder given everything, I know too much and you don’t. It must be hard to trust me.”

“No… I don’t know. It’s weird… and like I don’t know… I do trust you… I know you don’t want to hurt me.” I just don't want to let you down.

She smiles.

“Can… can I try to figure it out? Think about it.”

“Of course, always Rei. I’ll always be here for you when you're ready.”

I can do this. For her.