 sure to do that.” At least Rei isn’t completely shameless about it. God, that would be absolutely insufferable.

Thankfully we’re saved from this embarrassing conversation by a knock on the door. Claire quickly jumps up and lets in the sofa delivery men. The delivery doesn’t take long at all, as Catherine is very quick to direct them to put the new sofa in exactly the right spot. The movers are finished and gone before we even know it.

Catherine flops dramatically onto the sofa and sighs in absolute bliss.

“This is a rather nice sofa, isn’t it? It’s much bigger than the old one, too,” Claire says as she sits on the ‘L’ opposite Catherine. “Oh, it’s quite comfy. I think the previous one looked comfier than it actually felt once you sat on it.”

“Hmmm.” Catherine is blissfully lost in the plush cushions.

Claire lets out a breath. “It’s certainly been a long, busy day.” She leans against the backrest and closes her eyes. Rei materializes behind her like a ninja and starts to massage Claire's shoulders, eliciting a happy moan from her “wife.” “Oh Rei, that’s wonderful.”

Catherine stiffens and I can practically feel her glare at the two of them.

“We aren’t doing anything.” Claire pouts. Rei doesn’t stop massaging her shoulders as she grins.

Catherine points two fingers at her eyes and then at the two of them. “You’re lucky I let you sit on my pure, innocent sofa at all after what you did, you heathens. I’m watching you carefully.” They all giggle and Catherine relaxes back into the cushions.

I should give the sofa a test myself—at that moment my phone buzzes in my back pocket. It’s Mom. “Hello?”

“Misha dear, your dad and I are at the front door with your stuff. Could you let us in?” It sounds like Dad is talking to someone in the background.

“Sure, Mom, just use the buzzer by the door. It’s apartment forty-six twenty-one.”

“Oh, okay. This place is rather fancy.” I did warn you that it was, Mom.

“Yeah, it’s really nice. I’ll see you soon, Mom!”

It takes a few seconds, but soon my phone buzzes again. “I got it.” I use the app to unlock the door. Handy. I could get used to this.

Not too long after that my parents are knocking at our front door. I was expecting them to have brought too much stuff. What I wasn’t expecting was the three extra people they brought with them.

“I hope you don’t mind that we asked your friends to help bring all of this up. We saw them milling about downstairs and I realized I recognized these boys,” Dad says. He’s pushing a dolly loaded with several large boxes, and none other than Rod is helping him balance it. Mom is carrying several bags, and behind her Yu and Thane are lugging several boxes between them.

Yu peeks over their box, looking a little sheepish. “Hi. We were…around.” Smooth one, Yu.

Rod laughs. “Suuuure. Around.” He and Dad wheel the dolly into the living room. Dad shoots me an inquisitive look.

“Umm, that room is mine.” I point in the direction of my bedroom door and he nods. Dad and Rod are quick to roll my stuff inside.

Mom brings her load of bags in next, marveling at the place. “It was so lucky of us to have caught Yu and his brothers out front. It would have taken your father and I so much longer to get everything up on our own. They’ve grown up so much. Rod and Thane are so tall.”

“Umm, Jur-san, do you also want these in your room?” Thane asks, his arms still full of boxes.

“Oh, yes, thanks. Mom, I said you didn't have to bring that much. Did you bring everything?”

Mom clicks her tongue. “We didn’t bring everything, dear. But I brought what I thought you might like. You said you had more room in this new place, and I know how much you love your books.”

God, she really did bring everything.

She continues talking, oblivious to my exasperation. “But my goodness, you didn’t mention how nice this place is.”

“I said it was nicer.”

“Are you sure you can afford this?” She pitches her voice low so that the others won’t hear. Come on, Mom, not now.

“Yes, I already told you that I can. Francois-san’s mom owns this place. She’s not charging us more than we paid for the dorm.”

“I have to thank her, then, for taking such good care of you all. This apartment really is lovely, and so spacious. The kitchen is so big! Oh, that reminds me, I brought food.” She lifts one of the bags she’s holding.

Really, Mom?

“Oh, thank you so much, Jur-san.” Claire comes in from the living room to guide Mom to the fridge. “I wasn’t expecting everyone else to be here too.” She glances over to the couch and I can’t help but follow her gaze. Where did Catherine go? Ghosts make more noise when disappearing than she does.

“You must be Francois-san?” Mom addresses her politely.

Claire nods as she helps Mom unpack the food into the fridge. “Yes, Misha is a very dear friend, even though she’s only known me for a short while. I would have felt terrible if we stranded her after stealing Rei.”

“Well, I’m sure Rei isn’t complaining about being stolen.” I quip.

“I’m not.” Rei laughs, still hanging out by the sofa. She moves to the kitchen to join us. “But I would never have let Misha get left behind, of course. She’s like family.”

“Rei! It’s so good to see you.” Mom attacks Rei the moment she enters the kitchen, scooping her up into a big hug. It really does feel like she’s part of the family sometimes.

“It’s nice to see you too, Jur-san. Thank you for everything.”

Mom beams and fusses over her. “Dear, it’s our pleasure.”

She turns back to Claire, who is still putting away the food along with several bags of groceries. Mom seems to have packed half of the contents of our kitchen at home as well. Sigh. “Francois-san, Misha mentioned that your mother owns this lovely apartment?”

Claire turns to her and gives a polite, friendly smile. “Yes. As you’re probably aware from my name, Mother runs a large company. Money isn’t an issue for us.”

Mom looks at me, impressed. God, she’s going to grill me about that later, isn’t she?

They set to work unpacking everything and stowing it in the cabinets and fridge. Despite the size of our kitchen, there isn’t much room for me to join in. Mom really does seem to have brought the entire pantry with her. I guess we won’t need food for a bit.

“Just to be clear, we just happened to be around.” Yu emerges from depositing boxes in my room, hands free. He—they—are trying way too hard to act casual. Come on, Yu, it’s just me.

“Nice to see you, too.” At least that gets them to smile, even if they’re still a bit shy.

Yu really can be cute.

Then a hand descends on their head and ruffles their hair.

“You dork, don’t act like you weren’t looking for an excuse to check out Misha’s new place,” Rod says.

Yeah, I figured as much. I can’t help laughing as Yu tries to fend off Rod. It’s nowhere near a fair fight and Yu’s feeble attempts just make Rod laugh.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that.” Yu glares at Rod, but in typical Rod fashion he either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.

“Rei-san, Claire-san. You two finally hooked up!” Jesus. Christ. Rod.

Claire doesn’t look phased, but Rei nearly drops what she was holding. She looks panicked.

“Hooked up?” Mom echoes. Damn it.

“Rod, that was a rather crass way to put it.” Claire clicks her tongue and discreetly tilts her head in Mom’s direction. Ugh…

“Hooked up?” Mom repeats again.

“Is that a problem?” Claire asks, looking ready to fight if need be.

Mom blinks. It’s hard to tell what she’s thinking. She glances at Rei, who looks mortified.

“Are you dating Francois-san, Rei-chan?” I still can’t really read Mom’s reaction. She sounds befuddled but I can’t tell why. It’s nerve wracking.

An eerie quiet falls over the kitchen. Even Rod seems to have realized the landmine he set off. The silence is finally broken when Rei gulps loudly. She squares her shoulders and looks Mom in the eye. “Yes. I’m…in a relationship with Claire.” I can tell she’s trying her best to put up a strong front. Claire comes from behind and gently takes Rei’s hand.

Rei is nervous, but she looks…proud.

Then Mom abruptly pulls Rei into a hug. What?

“Oh dear, I’m so proud of you!”

“What?”” Rei squeaks.

“I was worried it would be hard for you. And you found such a kind and beautiful girlfriend!”

Huh? Mom?

“What is going on?” Rei squawks while being smothered by Mom’s arms.

“Wasn’t even worried.” Christ, Rod, you are so full of shit.

“Oh. My. God. Rod. Shut the fuck up.” Yu mumbles.

“Hang on. You already knew


? How!? Misha? MISHA?” Rei tries to find me and make eye contact despite Mom’s all-encompassing hug. But…how did Mom know?

“I didn’t say anything!” This is not on me, I swear!

“She didn’t, Rei-chan. The walls in our house are thin and one day I just happened to overhear you telling Misha about being outed in middle school when you were visiting us…I’m sorry dear—I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I’m so happy for you now.” Oh God, how many things did Mom hear when we were growing up?

“So you’re okay with…me being a lesbian?” Rei’s panic is gone now, but she still sounds a bit wary.

“Rei, I have to admit that I didn’t have the best of opinions about that sort of thing before I heard. But seeing how happy you are now, and knowing how close you and Misha have always been, well, I found a new perspective. You’re like family to us. You deserve to be happy.” It’s such a relief to hear Mom say that.

“Thank you…” Rei’s voice cracks, and Claire pulls her in as soon as Mom lets her go.

“And Bauer-kun!” Mom turns to face Rod, who immediately stiffens. She marches up to him. “That was careless of you.”

Rod bows to Mom in a rare show of humility. “You’re right, ma’am. I apologize.” Yu then shoves an elbow in his stomach and Rod elbows them back. “Sorry, Oohashi-san, I…I meant it to be teasing among friends. I didn’t think about who else was present. I’m happy for you two.”

“Uhhhh…please don’t make a big deal out of it.” Rei looks pretty uncomfortable.

“Sure.” Rod straightens back up and smiles.

Thane materializes behind Rod and sighs. “This is why Yu and I don’t tell you everything.”

“Hey, come on, I’m not that bad.” Rod acts hurt, but Thane isn’t deterred.

Yu glares at him like they want to strangle him.

“Oohashi-san, I want you to know I didn’t tell anyone about our talk. And I’m also glad to see you two have patched things up,” Thane says with a smile in Rei’s direction.

Claire smiles back at him gratefully.

“I didn’t tell Rod shit, either.” Yu remarks.

“Yeah, I had to figure it out myself. So thanks guys. Anyway, sorry for hitting on you before, Oohashi-san. It won’t happen again.” Rod, surprisingly, gives another bow to Rei.

Claire glares at Rod. “It better not. Ever.” I can see the shiver that ripples through Rei. God, Rei, you are such a simp.

“Po-sses-sive much? Wow, you really dodged a bullet there, Thane.” Rod laughs, but it comes off as a little stilted. Seems like he is trying to power through his fuckup.

Thane groans and then decides it’s better to ignore the comment. “Jur-san, I did want to let you know that everything is in your room, and your father is putting together some of your furniture. Rod, I said we’d help if he needed it.”

“Totally, in fact I think I’ll go check on him right now. Congrats again, lovebirds.” It’s not often that I get to see Rod acting very awkward. It’s kinda funny.

Once Rod disappears, Yu speaks up. “I really didn’t tell him anything. I just want you to know, Rei.” There’s something odd in their voice. Yu always does their best to keep those kinds of secrets between us…but now something feels different. Like it hits closer to home. God, I wish I could just stop with these thoughts already. Any moment now, brain.

“Oh, yeah, don’t worry. I believe you. Honestly, I think Rod probably just figured it out from being around us. ” Rei gulps. “I don’t really mind, I just, you know, don’t need the whole school to know. Not again.”

Claire wraps her arms around Rei from behind and Rei chuckles and places her hands over Claire’s.

For the briefest second Yu shoots a glare at Claire—she definitely said something to them—but I’m the only one that catches it. Yu is very practiced at hiding their feelings, but I know them too well to miss something like that. “Well, it’s true that you two are…quite obvious.” Yu smirks, and that makes Rei frown. Claire giggles and kisses Rei’s ear.

“It’s good to see you visit, Yu-san. I want you to know you are always welcome. Don’t feel like you are intruding if you ever want to come see Misha.” Claire’s offer is very sincere.

For another split second I see something flicker across Yu’s face again. I think they’re suspicious of Claire’s sincerity. I’m pretty sure Claire also caught Yu’s expression this time, but she just smiles. She means it, Yu, she’s just trying to help.

“Well, I’ll try to not overstay my welcome either way.” Great, now Yu is distancing themself again.

I sigh. “Yu, you can always show up whenever. That hasn’t changed.”

“I don’t mind either. Umm, Catherine might turn into a ghost again, though.” Rei chimes in.

“Who?” Yu looks around.

“Oh, Catherine is my sister. We aren’t related by blood, but we grew up in the same household. She’s usually not fond of company, and she disappeared when you came in. Some things never change. Don’t worry about her—if she doesn’t want to be around, she won’t be,” Claire explains.

Yeah, it took a while for her to warm up to me too. It’s a good thing she did since we’re roommates now. “Are you up for hanging out for a bit, Yu? Or are you going to bail soon?” I hope they stay for a bit but I don’t want to pressure them too much.

“I suppose I could stay.” Yu says nonchalantly.

“I suppose I might like that, if it’s okay with you.” Two can play that game.

Yu waits a moment, bashfully avoiding my eyes. “Sure, why not.”

“Thank you.” I make the mistake of looking at Rei. She’s giving me that look again and wiggling her eyebrows. Can. You. Fucking. Not.

“Is anyone hungry? I can heat up some of this food,” Mom calls from the kitchen. Everyone turns to look at her.

There’s a pause. Everyone seems hesitant to be the first to speak up. Fine, I’ll do it since she’s my mom. “What did you end up bringing?”

“Curry—I thought it would be a crowd pleaser.”

I can feel my stomach stir. “Sure, that sounds tasty.”

“If you're offering, I’ll gladly have some.” Yu says with a polite smile.

“Yes, please.”

“Thank you, I’d love some.”

Mom looks pleased and quickly pulls a stack of plates down from the cupboard. Claire is quick to step in and help.

“So you’re good, then? With Claire.” Yu says to Rei in a low voice now that Claire is otherwise occupied.

Rei looks confused, glancing at Claire busying herself in the kitchen. “Yeah?”

“But she’s…?” Yu can’t quite figure out how to end their sentence.

Rei’s face scrunches. “She’s what?”

“Claire.”

“Yu I really li—I love her.”

Yu shakes their head. “It’s just so hard to believe given what the Claire I know was like—”

“She’s changed,” Rei cuts in, leaving no room for argument.

Yu sighs. “I’m just, you know. Looking out for you.”

“Just trust me. Okay? Even Misha is okay with Claire. What’s your deal?” Rei’s willingness to fight for Claire is clearly not something Yu anticipated.

“Something is off,” is all that Yu offers.

By this point Rei seems to realize that Yu has also picked up on Claire’s odd behavior. The disjunction is obvious to anyone who’s really paying attention. “Just give her a chance, please.”

I need to help convince Yu. “Yu, please. I know how weird it seems, but if you give Claire a chance you’ll see she’s not who you think she is.” I place a hand on Yu’s back.

“Misha, she’s hiding something!” Yu abruptly turns to me, speaking in a low but very urgent voice. It catches us all off guard, themself included.

Rei is the first to respond. “No shit, we all have stuff we want to hide Yu. She’s doing the best she can.”

“So you actually know what her deal is?” I wish I knew whatever conspiracy Yu has cooked up in their head.

“Of course I know. Or at least I think I know whatever is setting off your wonky spider-sense. It’s not what you think it is. Can you just, I don’t know, not go Spanish inquisition on her please?” Rei is deadly serious as she addresses Yu in hushed tones.

“I wasn’t going to—”

“I know, but you keep tabs on, like, everything, Yu. I trust her, and she trusts me. She’s good, Yu. I promise.”

Yu’s shoulders sag. “Fine. I’m just…you two seem all over the place. One day you’re breaking up, and then the next day you're moving in together.”

“Oh my God. We weren’t breaking up. Look, I was being stupid. I was…” Rei takes a breath. “It


’s fucking scary being honest with someone you love, okay? And I wasn’t ready to be honest…with her or with myself, but then we managed to work it out. I was scared, and I had to work through that.”

I can’t help but look over at Yu to see how they react to hearing that. I know Rei was talking about herself, but…

I wish Yu would trust me.

Yu’s eyes sink to the floor and they swallow. “Okay…sorry, Rei, I just—”

Rei puts a hand on Yu’s arm. “Yu, it’s okay. Really. I get it, but it’s a totally different situation than it was with Kosaki.”

Yu stiffens, hmm. “Yeah, okay.” Yu still seems a bit unconvinced. “I don’t get her, though.”

Rei ponders. “Did she say something weird to you? Like, something a bit too personal that seemed to come out of nowhere?”

“She doesn’t know me,” Yu snaps. God, they are in such denial.

“Okay, sheesh. She’s better than you think at reading people, for what it’s worth.” Rei tries to give Yu an opening.

“She hasn’t read me.” Yu grits their teeth, still deep in denial.

“What did she say to you?” I ask gently. I try to put a hand on their arm, but they just jerk away.

“She didn’t say anything to me. I don’t know why you two are so obsessed with this.” Oh, Yu…

Rei just looks perplexed. At least I already knew that Yu was acting weird, but she has no idea what’s going on. Thank God Claire has managed to keep this a secret from her.

For now I just want Yu to calm down. “Yu, we—”

“Food’s ready!” Mom's voice rings out.

“I’m starving.” Yu says, and abruptly ends the conversation and heads to the kitchen.

Rei looks at me and mouths “What the fuck?”

I wish I could say.


It doesn't take long for us to buy the ibuprofen. I make sure to find some licorice as well. Rae explains how a credit card works; apparently coins are not such a common means of payment anymore, though paper bills are still somewhat common. I also notice the expression on Rae’s face when she notes that my credit card is a gold one. A sign of affluence, I surmise. I might be something akin to nobility here as well, but I suppose that explanation is best left up to Catherine.

Our trip off campus to the pharmacy doesn’t take much time, and Rae decides to take the opportunity to make some headway into her ‘crash course’ in modern life. It’s quite a lot of information to take in all at once, and I can already tell I will need to go over it again later. The university is in the middle of the city, Tokyo, and I try not to get distracted by all the new architecture all around us. I even spy several large towering buildings—skyscrapers, as Rae calls them. They dwarf anything from Bauer.

By the time we make it to the dorms, the only thing I can really recall about what she told me is that the internet is important and I have to be careful when I use it. And it’s not a literal net . Soon we are in front of my room, which has a six hundred and seventy two written on the door. I had not expected the hall to look so… plain. It's hard to believe that people are living in such a dull place. At least my door key still works the same way here.

“Claire?” I can hear Catherine’s voice inside as I open the door. The room is quite big, and looks well-serviced. I think I can even see something resembling a kitchen area, along with a couple of beds, two desks and a pair of sofas facing a thin black slate hanging on the wall. Its style and shape reminds me of the phone from earlier, but much, much larger.

Rae whistles. “Wow, sick flat.”

“Catherine, I’m back! We brought the ibuprofen you asked for.” It doesn’t take long to spot her— she’s sitting on one of the sofas, rubbing her shorter left leg. She is missing the half below the knee in this life as well. The incident that claimed my mother’s life was to blame before, but in this life I wonder…

“Can you bring it over? I had to take my leg off. It’s been a bad day.” Take her leg off ? She is trying to keep her breathing steady through the pain. I waste no time giving her the bottle we acquired. “Thank God,” she says, popping the bottle open and taking out two small pills. She swallows them in one gulp, then sighs and sinks into the sofa. “ Please let it kick in soon. So who is your new friend ? Oohashi-san, was that it?”

“Um, yes, this is Rae.” I gesture for Rae to come in and sit down. Catherine sighs. I feel a little guilty introducing the two of them while Catherine can’t escape like she used to back in my old life, but this conversation has to happen. “Rae was my wife.”

“Francois-san! You can’t lead  with that!” Rae spouts, trying to keep herself from shouting.

Catherine inspects the bottle once more. She shuts her eyes for a beat, then looks at me. “ What ?”

“Today I woke up with memories of a previous life where I was married to Rae.” I explain. I have no intention of wasting time by beating around the bush.

“It’s also worth  mentioning that she no longer has any memories from this life.” Rae jumps in, sounding a little annoyed.

“Oh,” is all Catherine says. She looks at the bottle once more, but can’t find any answers there. Silence fills the room. I do my best to wait for her, but it is taking a while. I start to give an explanation, but she cuts me off before I can voice anything. “Please just let the meds kick in first.”

Eventually Catherine leans forward again, rubbing her knee and its stump. Letting out a breath, she finally says, “Okay, what the fuck Claire? What are you trying to pull?”

It seems cursing is a far more common thing in this world. I sigh. “I am not trying to pull anything; it’s the truth.” I try to school my temper but the accusation irks me, and I can hear the edge in my voice.

“Right, Claire, this is stupid. You can’t actually expect me to believe this, and for what? To avoid apologizing for dragging me to a stupid mixer I didn’t want to go to? My prosthetic got broken and you didn’t even help me get home. You just ditched me to do what? Get laid! I’m actually mad now! I can’t believe you right now.” Catherine is practically apoplectic. I have never seen her mad like this before, and it’s apparently my fault. Or some version of myself. The story she recounts makes my stomach twist. How could I do that to her?

“Catherine, I have much to make up for, and I will start doing so immediately, but please—I can’t recall anything about what happened in this life before an hour ago.” Please believe me.

Catherine glares at me. I can see tears prickle the corners of her eyes. “God, I can’t believe you would stoop to something this stupid. Find yourself a new roommate, Claire.”

“Hey, come on, she’s telling the truth. I didn’t believe her at first but there really isn’t any other explanation.” Rae jumps up and protectively gets in between the two of us.

Catherine just lets out a humorless laugh, “Oh, and how did she wrap you up in this? Did she pay you to lie to me, wifey ?”

Rae grits her teeth but overwise stays calm. “We’ve never talked before today and yet she knew a lot of things about me, private things . Maybe you could try explaining that.”

“ Oh ? And exactly what sort of private things did she know?”

Rae takes a deep breath. “She knew I was gay.” The last word comes out a squeak and Rae blushes.

Catherine just rolls her eyes. “I could have told you that just watching you being around her for five minutes. Try again .”

Rae take another deep breath, “She knew about my friend’s suicide.”

Catherine doesn’t say anything. She looks genuinely taken aback.

Rae takes a moment to stabilize herself. She’s starting to tremble again. “He… he was born a girl, but he couldn’t be himself. His family wouldn’t let him… and after we all graduated he took his life. Only a few of us knew what he was going through, and his family still denies it.” Rae is holding back a lot and she is visibly shaking. “No one could have known, but Francois-san knew and she knew why. The only way she could have known is if I told her. And she said the me in her past life told her.”

I move next to Rae and  wrap my arm around her, drawing her in. She feels so small.

Catherine eyes us. I can see her still trying to figure out what is happening, but I think the doubt is starting to falter. “You could still be lying.”

“My friend is—”

“Hey, hey, that's not what I…” She sighs. “I’m sorry, that sucks. This… still doesn’t sound real. Claire, you weren't surprised when you saw me missing half a leg. How do you explain that?”

I lead Rae back to a seat on a sofa and sit beside her. “In my past life you also lost your leg in that… accident.”

“How did that accident happen there, then?” She narrows her gaze.

“My father had been trying to achieve political reform amongst the nobility. Commoners were being abused by the nobility in many places in the Kingdom of Bauer. His opponents had arranged for an accident to happen on his carriage trip between states.” I know how Catherine feels about her involvement with this ‘accident’. I don’t blame her for her role in it, but I know she blamed herself for many years. “His carriage was pushed off a cliff pass and it collided with your own. You lost your leg, and my mother lost her life. Shortly thereafter I was sent to live with my second cousin, Sister Manaria, for half a year in the kingdom of Sousse. Despite it all, you and I remained friends thereafter. I am sorry for how poorly this version of me has treated you as of late.”

Catherine listens quietly, betraying little of her thoughts. Her only reaction is when I mention my mother dying. Seeing Catherine’s amputated leg means my mother has passed on here as well.

“Claire.” There isn’t an edge to Catherine’s voice this time; it’s been replaced with… concern. “This is a really shity thing to do if you’re not lying…” She lets out a heavy breath. “But I need to see one more thing. Can you please open up your phone and look at your photos from, like, a month back?”

Phone ? Oh right, the thing I used earlier. I dig through my bag and pull out the phone again. How I am supposed to open this? It is only one piece.

“Oh, umm, when she says open it up she means start it up, turn it on,” Rae says. She holds out her hand for the phone. Catherine watches the interaction but is otherwise silent. “Okay, so before when she called you, it turned on beca


use that's what it does when a call comes in. When there isn’t a call you can open it up like this.” She tilts the phone to show its side, pointing out a small button. When she presses it, the phone lights up again. There is a picture of a scenic view. “So this is the lock screen, which shows the time and date. Let's hope you have it on face recognition.” Rae looks to Catherine, but she makes no further comment. She taps the phone and the surface changes again. “Okay so when you do this, it will unlock if you show it your face.” The phone’s surface is now like a mirror. She tilts it so my face is reflected and then it chimes and many symbols show up. “Thank god we didn’t need a pin. Okay so should we go to her photo album or Insta or what?”

“Just her album,” Catherine replies, betraying no emotion. She is watching me carefully.

“Right…” Rae starts to tap the phone, moving the symbols and then tapping one which now shows many small pictures, perfect little images, like the reflection from before but still and unmoving. She swipes the phone more and the picture move quickly—”

“Stop!” I grab the phone, feeling my heart in my throat.

It’s my mother.

“How do I…?”

“Just tap,” Rae says.

I gulp and tap the small picture which expands to fill the phone’s surface. It's a picture of my mother and me, in which she is smiling and I am frowning. The me in the picture is the exact same me I am right now. The me from here….

“Catherine…” I can feel tears starting to well in my eyes. My throat is tightening and I can feel Rae’s hand on my shoulder. I can’t keep it in—somehow, my mother isn’t dead. A ugly sound escapes my throat but I’m smiling through the tears. I can see my mother again. I can tell her I’m sorry. Oh God, she won’t even know what I am talking about but that doesn’t matter—

“Claire….” Catherine's voice is very measured, careful. I understand that tone. “What happened to your father in your other life?”

“I…” It feels like I am six again. I struggle to even get the words out. “He lived…” Catherine’s silence is very telling and she looks at the floor. “He lived a long life. He lived to see our girls grow up, Rae, he—”  I choke back a very different sob this time. “He loved them.”

Rae pulls me into a hug and another ugly sob escapes from me. Rationally I know that I shouldn't be so upset, but knowing everything he won't be here for this time is heartbreaking. May and Aleah loved him so much and now…

Rae just holds me and rocks me. Bless her, she is still here for me. Trading one parent for the other…

“I’m sorry, Claire.” Catherine sounds exhausted.

“I shouldn’t be upset, I… I already lived a full life with him… I’m… I’m just being selfish.”

“Hey,” Rae says softly, “you’re allowed to be selfish.”

Catherine clears her throat. “You never let anyone touch your phone and… I’m sorry, I’m still having trouble believing it, but I had to be sure. At least I know you aren’t lying anymore. You may be deluded, but you aren’t lying.”

I take a breath to try to calm myself.

“There’s so much she doesn’t know now. She doesn’t know how to use a phone, if she could drive before she can’t now, and I don’t even know how she is supposed to do her classes.” Rae tries her best to explain and slowly pulls back from me. Hesitantly, I let her.

I miss the closeness and have to fight the urge to grab her again.

Catherine just groans and sinks back into the sofa.

“She needs help, umm…”

“It’s Achard, Catherine Achard.” Catherine introduces herself, not hiding her annoyance.

“Thank you Achard-san.” At least Rae is being polite.

“So are you helping her too, then Oohashi-san?” Catherine asks.

“Yes, I’ll help. We share some classes, so I can help you catch up and you can ask me questions that would be weird to ask others,” she says, turning to me. She has a soft smile, but she is bashful and has trouble looking at me directly.

I give her a light hug. “Thank you Rae. Even here you come to my rescue.”

She gives off a nervous laugh as I pull back. Catherine is analyzing us again. ‘Really?’ I can hear her say with just her stare. I make sure my return stare says yes.

Catherine and Rae spend some time working out an itinerary, dubbed the ‘Modernize Claire Plan’. There is little I can do to assist outside of confirming I do have some education in subjects that can carry over, such as arithmetic and writing. My knowledge of science is extremely lacking, apparently. Evening falls before we’re even aware of it.

“I’m going to have to get going soon,” Rae says after doing a stretch. “ My roommate is going to worry if I’m out too long. I think we’re off to a good start. I can come over early in the morning and help you get to class until you are used to it yourself.”

“I would apprentice that. Thank you Rae.” A light blush dusts her cheeks and it’s too cute.

I want to kiss her.

Remember, take it slow Claire. She doesn’t know you.

“Oh, one more thing… it would be a good idea to maybe exchange numbers, so you can reach me.” Rea stutters and her blush deepens. I can’t help but laugh at how she acts.

“Numbers?”

“Phone numbers. The phone can remember them, but you need to tell it first. It’s how it knows who to call.” She explains.

“Oh right, I think you might have mentioned that. Sorry, it’s been a lot to take in…how does that work?”

Thankfully the process isn’t too complicated. Rae shows me where all the numbers are recorded. Apparently the other me had collected many of them, mostly from names I don’t recognize. I think I might be getting a handle on using this device, though. I am even able to make a ‘profile’ for Rae. She has to help, of course, but it’s still a little exciting. She shows me one more time how to call a ‘contact’. I know who I want to call first.

“Oh, another thing you should know is how to text people. It’s like, um, writing a letter I guess, but it’s done through the phone. Here, let me show you.” She starts tapping away on her own phone. “Check your phone now.”

My phone shakes and I see, what was it called, a notification ?

Hi

Oh that’s lovely. I imagine it’s slow in contrast to how fast Rae did it, but I write out a simple reply.

Hello

“Look, you're a natural.” Rae encourages me, even though this has to be a simple thing to her.

“It’s starting to make more sense.” It will be so easy to keep in touch with her now.

“Cool…. Um, you should probably not get too deep into all the other stuff on the phone yet. We can ease you into the rest.” She waves her hand over the phone. She did mention there was a lot more it could do.

Catherine chimes in. “Yeah, we don’t want you ruining your life even more by doing something stupid on your phone.”

I laugh. “Surely you jest.”

Their silence is a bit unnerving.

“But how—”

“Just trust us, we’ll ease you into it. You’ve already had to take in a lot tonight and we haven’t even really talked about the internet.”

She mentioned that before. Wait, I think Rae mentioned something about that in our past life… “Computers?”

“You remember something?” Rae looks a bit surprised.

“Well no, not in the way you’re thinking.  You used to talk about computers in our past life, mostly when you complained about not having them anymore or some such. Computers use the internet, right? That’s why it sounded familiar.” Rae missed those a lot.

“Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. It would suck to lose that. Well, I’m going to get out of here.” Rae pulls herself off the sofa and collects her bag, making her way to the door.

“Wait, one last thing.” I follow her over to the door. “Is your roommate Misha, perchance?”

Rae does a double take, “How did you…  okay, that’s kinda freaky, Francois-san.”

“She was your roommate when we went to school, too.” I wonder if there are others from our past life here too. Yu, Thane, Rod, even Loretta and Pepi. I can worry about that later, however. “I just thought to ask because we were all close friends, and I get the feeling that I don’t know Misha here. The main point I want to make  is that you should tell Misha about this if you think it isn’t a bad idea. I trust her, and if you think it would help I don’t mind her knowing about this.”

Rae nods slowly, though she seems uncertain, “Are you sure? You’re right that it might make some things easier, but…”

“I trust her, Rae,” I say again.

“Okay…she’s probably just going to think I’m crazy.” Rae gets a little lost in her head, trying to play out that conversation.

“Oh believe me, she has put up with far worse from


 you.” I laugh and pull her into a quick hug. “Make it home safely. I'll see you tomorrow.”

Rae stutters, not really saying anything outside of squeaking a quick “Bye” before disappearing out the door. I really want to tease her more. I miss the kisses we used to have when we parted.

“Man, what a dork,” Catherine says once the door closes.

“Don’t be mean.” I take a seat on the sofa.

“You really do like her, don’t you?” It’s not hard to imagine how different I must seem to her now. Did the me here…

“Did the old me ever show an interest in girls?”

“If you did, you were so deep in the closet you made sure no one else knew.”

“Right, Rae used to use that expression too.”

“It means you were hiding that you were gay, or queer, I guess.”

“And I suppose I wasn’t the most sympathetic about trans people either?”

“...Yeah, I don’t know. Not like this at least. So you’re just cool with all of that?” I’m not quite sure what she means to ask.

“It would be weirder for me to not be. Rae and I have been married for so long.” It makes me feel so soft just thinking about it.

“This is so weird. You never smile like that.”

I can’t stop my brow from quirking. “Like I’m happy?”

“Errr… yeah.” Catherine is hesitant to elaborate.

What was I even like here? In a way, I have erased the old Claire. What did she mean to other people here? “Was I happy here before?”

Catherine gnaws her lip. “I don’t know. It didn’t seem like it.”

“I seem to have stolen your Claire, haven’t I?” Rae had said she held onto her memories from both of her lives. It would be a lie if I said I weren’t frustrated to not have that same luxury.

Catherine mulls it over some more. “I don’t know, it’s weird. You still feel like you. Just not mad or absent anymore. You could be a real bitch before… sorry. You also talk a little differently, too.”

I can’t help but chuckle. “Well, I was definitely hard to deal with when I was younger. Oh.” I pull open my bag and find the other half of my purchase. “I got you some licorice along with your medicine.”

Catherine’s brow furrows in confusion as I lean over to pass the bag of her favorite candy. “How? …you haven’t given me candy since we were kids.”

“Consider it my apology for my earlier behavior. Can I ask, is your father terrible here too?" In the world I remembered he had been arrested, and Catherine had used her magic to erase his memories before trying to disappear herself. I doubt she can pull that trick again here.

Her face contorts in disgust. I can already tell what she’s going to say, but she answers anyway. “Yes, and If I never have to talk to that shit stain again, all the better.” She pops open the bag of licorice and angrily stuffs several pieces in her mouth. “Thanks,” she huffs, and then eats a few more.

I could ask about my parents, and about what happened here. But that would lead to potentially talking about a very touchy subject far too soon. It can wait. For now. It still feels unreal that Mother is alive and well here and I could talk to her again. I don’t think I am ready for that yet.

“You doing okay?” Catherine asks, drawing me out of my thoughts.

“I think so, yes, it's… it’s exciting, but it’s also a lot and so much of it is intimidating. Rae honestly made it look so easy in our past life, yet here I didn’t even know how to purchase something. Thank you for asking, Catherine.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I have no idea how we’re going to onboard you as fast as we need to, let alone get you up to speed for classes. Not that your grades were that stellar…” Catherine mumbles that last part as she chews her candy. The licorice seems to have helped her mood even more than the medicine.

How could I let my grades slip, though? “What was that about my grades?”

Catherine takes a moment to finish chewing and swallowing her treats. “Well… I would say some social obligations had taken a higher priority for you. You’ve had good grades in the past but… I don’t really know the whole story. You don’t exactly talk about yourself very much—”

“And even if I did, I didn’t have the best self awareness when I was younger.” I can’t help the self-deprecating laugh that comes out.

Catherine mulls the comment over, as if she had only planned to hint at what I just said and is somewhat nonplussed that I just spelled it out. “Huh, this is weird. It’s like I’m talking to an older version of you or something, I guess.”

“I raised two daughters, Catherine.” I was older, but now I feel young again.

Catherine just stares at me, trying to take in such a  misleadingly simple statement. “Really? How old were you?”

What is the last thing I remember? Lying down. Rae holding my hand, or was I holding hers? The girls were there. Beautiful as always. The rest… feels hazy. “I think we had grown old together, Catherine. Old enough that those last years are hard to remember.”

“Do you feel like an … old lady?”

“I… don’t think so? It’s weird—I can recall so much, but it’s almost like a vivid dream. I feel young, like I am twenty again.” There has been so much to take in, but I feel ready to take on this new life. I can see Catherine is mulling over some thoughts, brooding slightly. Is she trying to piece together how she fit into my old life?

“We were friends until the end.” That draws her out of her reverie and she looks up, a question clearly tugging at her. I can see she isn’t ready to ask it yet, which is good because I don’t think I am ready to answer. “You mentioned a party or something before?”

She sinks into the couch and eats another piece of her licorice. “Yeah, there was a mixer. You dragged me into it and then disappeared. I think you were trying to get close to Bauer Thane-san but you kept a lot of that to yourself.”

“King Thane is here too?” I can’t help but sound elated at the idea that our other old friends are here. “Does that mean Rod-san and Yu-chan are here too?”

Catherine is caught more than a bit off guard. “King?”

“Oh, are they not royalty here? They were the princes and princess before. Thane-san took the throne.” My explanation doesn’t really resolve Catherine’s confusion.

“Royalty? Well they are loaded since their dad is the CEO of a major corporation… wait—princess?” That last word hangs in the air.

Oh.

Oh no.

Is Yu… Oh no, is Yu not herself here? Yet?  Is she the same? “Please forget I said that. I meant princes.”

Catherine just eyes me, not really satisfied.

“Look, I don’t know if it’s the same, but it’s not my place to say something about Yu if it is not commonly known and they haven’t said anything about it yet either. Please don’t mention it to anyone, as it might not even be the case here.” Goodness, I should have been more careful about that. Rae always stressed the importance of maintaining one’s privacy about matters like this.

Misaki... I am doing terribly at this.

Catherine sighs. “You should be careful about spilling secrets then, or potential secrets. Yu, huh? Okay, now that I see it I can’t unsee it.”

“Please, if she isn’t ready—”

“He,” Catherine corrects me. I take a breath. I know she is trying to reinforce that I need to use that pronoun here, but it still rubs me the wrong way.

“If Yu isn’t ready, I don’t want to be the reason something bad happens. It was complicated then, and I have to imagine it will be difficult here too.”

Catherine just nods and snacks on another candy. It seems some things don’t change, but she is going to run out at this rate. “So nothing on Bauer-san?”

“Hrm? We had always been friends with him and his siblings . What do you mean?” What is she getting at?

“Wow, nothing, huh? You were so… umm, how to put it. You were kinda desperate about Thane before?” I can tell she is trying to be somewhat tactful about it, but honestly it’s not needed.

“Right. I suppose I had a bit of a crush on him before Rae came along. Wow, I had forgotten about that. It was so long ago, and nothing more than a childish crush at the time.”

“This is so weird. You used to go on about him like dating him was going to fix everything and it was the only thing that mattered.”

I can’t help but chuckle, “Well, maybe I thought that at the time before too, but then Rae found me. And, well, she is my everything .”

Catherine smirks. “Wow, you really do have it bad for that otaku.”

“I don’t know what an otaku is, but I can’t help how I feel.  I love her.” I’m smiling. Even after a lifetime my feelings have never faded, and something about doing it


 all over again makes me feel nostalgic and hopeful.

“Ugh, gross.” Catherine laughs and throws one of the sofa cushions at me, which bounces off harmlessly. “I prefer my treats bitter, not whatever you have going on there. But I’m happy for you, I think.”


I wasn’t expecting Francois-san to be here before me, am I late? No, I'm twenty minutes early…

“Oohashi-san!” She notices me pretty soon as I close in, she looks quite happy this morning. She also looks amazing. She has pulled her hair back into a high tail with a red ribbon, and is wearing a flowy red top with a orange jacket, and stylish white slacks and sandals. Her stomach is very exposed with how high her top is cut…

“ Like what you see? ”

Her words snap me back to reality, she is smirking, she looks quite proud of herself. She realigns her bag on her shoulder, “You look rather handsome I must say.” Oh this teasing is so unfair, I need to pull my cap down to cover my face a bit to recover but it just causes her to giggle lightly. “So what’s first?”

“Right, well we can take a small tour, there is a park and more nearby that should be nice. And then I was thinking we could get lunch after and then head back and I can show you… game stuff.”

“That sounds lovely Oohashi-chan.” She beams again, and I don’t know if I can really meet her expectations but I have to at least try. A walk through a park has to be nice right? God I don’t know what I am doing. Maybe I should have just gotten movie tickets instead. But then that might be too much for her to follow and she could’t ask any questions in a theater, and what if it just makes the whole experience confusing and ruins it- “I’ll follow your lead, okay?” Francois-san says, her eyes glance to my hands as we start to move.

Right. We are…

Does she want to… hold my hand?

She must either decide not to, or not have thought to in the first place. Why… Am I disappointed? God why am I overthinking this, girls hold hands all the time right? It doesn’t have to mean something if we did right? People won’t just assume we are… together right?

“Everything all right R- Oohashi-chan?” Great, Francois-san is now picking up on my internal consternations. Get it together Rei.

“No, yes, I’m all right, you haven’t had a chance to wander around much right?”

“No, not much yet. Pepi and Loretta dragged me to a restaurant earlier to interrogate me but nothing else yet. It will be nice, it’s very different from Bauer here.”

“Oh, how did that go?”

“Okay I think? They had definitely noticed the change in myself and Pepi was, well, quite suspicious to say the least. I think I smoothed it over but I don’t expect the effort to be over yet.”

“That’s good, how did you manage that?”

“Well, I did tell them that I had changed, I may have suggested it was because I wanted to be better… but I may have also suggested it was because I fell in love.”

Oh no… “Francois-san…”

“I didn’t say it was you, but then they started jumping to conclusions. First they thought I was being sly and that I was going to bully you, never again… unless you want it. ” Oh GOD. “And then I had to be blunt after that. Yes, I have feelings for you but that was… it. I don’t want them giving you trouble, let me know if they do anything okay?” She glances from the corner of my eye, and I can see she has a few worries.

“Sure, but I really wish you would be more careful about that, first Bauer-san and now your two lackeys?”

“Pepi and Loretta. And I know Rei, I’m sorry. If I thought I could have done it without falling back on it, I would have, but I am atrocious at lying and I don’t think there is anyone else outside of my family who would know me better than those two.”

It’s hard to fault her, it would be like trying to lie to Misha… and I couldn't make it past one night with her.

“Are you nervous about being… out?”

The image of my desk, kanji scratched on its surface just beckon forth in my mind.

Oohashi Rei’s a Lesbo

The fucking pit in my stomach. Ugh,  that… was miserable.

“Maybe a little.”

She wouldn't do that, but Kosaki didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand either…

“That’s okay,” She tries to soothe me, “I’ll be honest, I never had to deal with that sort of anxiety but that was mostly because I was too stuck on trying to realize I did have feelings for you, and then a revolution happened. It didn’t really matter what anyone thought because everything got turned over. Not to say we lived without prejudice, it still existed even if we were heroes.” I have to guess the other me didn't feel like this…

“What was it like? What happened?”

“Hmr, well I suppose I first met you when you arrived at the academy. The Academy had started to accept commoners for the first time, and you were an exceptional student. I believe you said that is when you ‘woke’ up, I suppose in a manner similar to how I did just a week ago. You said you had known of that world because it was the plot of a game you loved.”

“Wait you're telling me I isekaid into a game?”

“I suppose?… I feel like I am forgetting something else but yes, you were reborn in our world. A lost soul.”

“So did I die in Japan? Did I say what happened?”

Claire turns away, and clutches her bag, “No I don’t believe you did.”

She is right, she is bad at lying, but what is trying to avoid telling me, people die-

“Anyways you, when we first met immediately proclaimed your love for me, it was very alarming at the time to say the least, I had even been just reprimanding you for sitting in the wrong place when you did. You went out of your way to be around me and I did not react well to it at first. You used your knowledge and cheated your way into being my maid, and then you were trying to play behind the scenes to guide the story you knew as it was unfolding. You knew a revolution was looming on the horizon. You were also a very gifted student, top of the class and one of the only dual casters around, you could wield two elements, earth and water. A very talented chef as well, I’d be lying if I said I don’t look forward to it again.”

I can cook? I mean I know how to make really basic stuff, but like cook cook? “Umm, What sort of things did I cook for you?”

Francois-san gets a dreamy look on her face, I already feel nervous, “Oh everything, you were always inventing new dishes, but I suppose many of those may have come from here. You were honestly as good or better than some of the chefs we employed when I was still a noble, I believe you even introduced chocolate to Bauer, and mayonnaise. Your crème brûlée is divine .” She looks so proud.

I…

What?

Chocolate? hOOw? I don’t even know the first thing to making that, but I know it’s complicated, and mayonnaise? Maybe?... Isn't it just oil and eggs?

Crème brûlée? Ughhhhhhhh-

“I….” She looks so expectantly at me… I can’t tell her my level of cooking is just heating up a instant ramen right? “I don’t know if I am that good… but I can try making something later.” I can’t tell her… she looks so proud, how am I supposed to compare to that?!

“Oh you don’t have to be so modest, I’m sure whatever you make will be good.”

“Oh, well I haven’t really had a place to cook, or time since I started university…” It’s not like my dorm has a kitchen.

“You could use ours.” She counters rather quickly.

See looks so eager.

She has so much faith in my non-existent abilities. I need to let her know.

“Sure.”

Rei

REI!

Why did I say that?

She smiles so fondly, oh god, that’s why. This is okay…. I can look up something right? I will be prepared this time. It won't be a repeat of the tea again, I am going to knock her out next time. I can do this.

“I am looking forward to it.”

Change the subject for the love of god Rei.

“So a revolution?”

“Oh, yes. To say there was imbalance between the nobility and common class would downplay the situation. Things had come to a boiling point and players behind the scenes were manipulating it for their own gain. You however, knew how it would unfold because you were very familiar with the game, so you tried to guide me to become the hero of the movement. I couldn’t see it at the time but with you I learned of the disparity between the classes and I confronted a lot of my own biases. Things came to a head when a volcano erupted, King B… the king lost his life and the government was thrown into chaos. We worked hard to support the commoners while the nobility tried to consolidate power for themselves, things almost turned violent but thanks to you things were settled pretty peacefully. The nobility was abolished, a new government was formed and we eloped afterwards, adopted two girls, twins. May and Aleah, they are wonderful.”

“Oh, wow that's a lot.” That’s an understatement. “So this was a game I knew here then?”

“Oh, yes you


 were very enamored by it.”

“Do you know what it was called?”

“Revolution, you said it was like a novel, a dating game?”

“An otome?” She just shrugs, “Well can’t say I really ever heard of that game before, I wonder if it exists… did… I?... say anything about it as a game, like why I liked it or when I started?”

“Well I don’t think you would have played it at this age, I think you were probably older… To answer the other question, you played it because I was in it, it was love at first sight. Or so you had said.” There is such a teasing smirk on her face.

Is she suggesting I… She was my game waifu….?

I want to sink in a hole…

What? How!?

She creeps in closer, “You're blushing Oohashi-chan…”

OH GOD, I am going to die.

She laughs as she puts more distance between us.

“Really?” my voice feels hoarse.

“Yes.” she answers, at least it doesn’t sound like she is demeaning me over it, just really teasing me.

Good .

SHUT UP REI.

“Rei?”

“YeS?” God why can’t I sound normal.

“Are you okay… with this? It’s not too much is it? Sometimes I just fall into old habits and I worry you are just humoring me.” She looks concerned.

That's bad, fix it.

“Nonononono, I’m just… this is new, sudden. I haven’t even had anything since you know… Kosaki… and that never went anywhere.”

“So I’m your first?”

I gulp

“I… this is the closest I have been to a relationship…”

“Do you want to? To do this again with me?”

I can’t believe this is happening. I thought a week ago maybe the dust would settle and things would cool off. She would see what a loser I am and realize she was wrong about me.

But she didn’t.

The look she is giving is so intense, I can’t even lie to myself… she wants this.

I want this.

I nod.

She smiles.

She closes the distance between us, we are shoulder to shoulder and she has a conspiratorial look on her face. Her hand touches mine.

“Is this okay?

Her hand slips into mine and she weaves her fingers into mine.

I am holding hands with Francois-san.

I AM HOLDING HANDS WITH FRANCOIS-SAN.

I make the mistake of meeting her eyes directly, she is still expecting an answer. My voice doesn’t really answer so I just nod again and I have to break eye contact.

This hoodie was a mistake, I am cooking.

Francois-san seems very content and enjoys the walk in silence as we make our way towards the park. I can’t even remember its name anymore. It had a lake right? Or something. I hope the zoo is good, is that too much of a cliche? It’s not an aquarium right, that would be way too much of a cliche but it’s not like she would even know about that right? Like that’s probably not a thing from where she is from. Is a zoo even going to be interesting to her, she said they had magic, did they also have magical creatures? Monsters? Is a zoo even going to hold her interest? How cool is a monkey going to be compared to a dragon? You don't even know if that’s the case, stop psyching-

“Ohh!” I feel a tug on my hand and Francois-san is pulling me forward, “Oh this is so lovely!”

It's the pond, though at first glance you can hardly see the water, it's so full of green leaves and dotted with pink flowers.

Francois-san pulls us to the edge and looks out at the pond, there is such wonder and vigor to her as she takes it all in. God she is so beautiful-

“What are these flowers called?”

“Oh, these are lotuses, they grow on the water, I think there is supposed to be a pathway a bit to the south that we can walk through the pond on.”

“That sounds lovely, these are really beautiful, we didn’t have these in Bauer. Do they hold a special meaning?”

Yes? “I think so… I mean I know they are important for a bunch of religions but I was never really religious so I couldn’t really tell you about that. I think there is something about enlightenment? I think it's important in Buddhism?”

“I see, what’s Buddhism?”

“Oh, yah right. It's one of the religions around this part of the world, it's pretty old but like I said, I’m not really religious in the slightest so I’m not the best person to be asking about it. Did you have religions back there?”

“Yes, just one though. And I don't…” She pauses for a moment, lost in thought, like she is trying to recall something, “Hmmm, I can’t say how much stock I would put into it now. The church did some good, but would also be a hindrance in other areas. You didn’t really put much faith into it there either. So there are multiple religions here? How does that work?”

“Honestly not well, I’m sure you will get a better idea once we start getting into history stuff later when we aren’t worried about our classes. Right now they kinda coexist with each other but they don’t really… they don’t acknowledge each other if that makes sense? They each have their own version of stuff and often they really don’t line up with each other. It's been a source of conflict in the past.”

There is a look of understanding as I say that, she grasps the idea of the conflict pretty quickly and I wonder how much she has had to see in her life.

But I don't want her to dwell on that too much.

“There is a zoo on the other side of the pond.”

“A zoo?” She perks up quickly, the excitement is cute.

“Yes, did you have those?”

“Not in Bauer but I read that some wealthy cities in the Loro empire would build them… I never had a chance to visit one before.” She is getting quite giddy, she isn’t even trying to hide it in her voice and she squeezes my hand as she starts getting us to move forward again.”


I arrived a little early today. We wanted to get in some more studying, since today was going to be pretty busy, with Catherine's appointment, then clothes, and then the party.

God it’s going to be a day.

At least Claire is putting a lot of work into studying, and impressively she is catching up a lot. Sometimes I feel like I can just sit back and let her do-

Knock-Knock.

“That must be Lene.” Claire springs up from her work and goes to the door. As she opens it, there stands a woman, just a bit older than us I would guess. She is wearing a clean pressed suit, and has long brown hair that is pulled together in a tail and hanging off her shoulder to the front. She def has butler vibes. “Lene! You look wonderful, it’s so good to see you again.” Claire catches her completely off guard and pulls her into a hug.”

“Mademoiselle Claire?” She recovers from her surprise, “Is everything all right?”

“Quite, sorry, sorry. I’m just excited to start the day. Well we should be moving, Catherine, can you get ready?”

There is a silence before she responds. “What?” She pulls herself up from the sofa. “What are you talking about? I am not going anywhere.”

“Pardon moi, did you not inform Mademoiselle Catherine yet?” Lene-sama asks as Claire moves quickly over with a grin on her face to Catherine.

“Of course you are coming, trust me. It’s a surprise.”

“Claireeee…” She tries to glare at her, but Claire just beams. God her resistance is much better than mine.

It does not hold out for long though. And she sighs. “Ughh, I hate surprises, what are you planning?”

“I owe you, think of it as me treating you?”

“I… don’t want to go shopping with you two.”

“It’s not that, please just trust me?”

“Ughhhh, fine. But I want to be able to say no.”

“You have to at least listen to me if you disagree…”

She tries to hold out again.

She sighs instead, “Fine. Fine, let’s just get this over with. This better not be a social thing either, I am not going to whatever party you are going to later.”

“That's much later Catherine, and this will not take that long. Just get comfortable and be ready to leave soon.”

“Preferably not too long, we do have a schedule to maintain Mademoiselles.” Lene says from the door again.

“Yah, Yah, Just give me a moment.” She shoos us out of the room, and soon it’s just me, Claire and Lene there in the hall.

“So would you be the friend Mademoiselle Claire mentioned?”

“Yes this is my w- my friend. Rei Oohashi. We share a class. She is wonderful.”

She was going to say wife, wasn’t she?

Oomph, Claire gives me a nudge, a bit forcefully.

Kinky.

“Oh… yah, pleased to meet you Lene-sama.” I give a little bow.

“Merci, it is a pleasure to meet you as well Mademoiselle Oohashi. So Mademoiselle Claire, our appointment for Mademoiselle Catherine should not take long, and then we can visit your usual venues for clothes. If anything else is required please just let me know.” She gives a formal bow.

“Thank you Lene.”

It doesn’t take that much longer for Catherine to come out, she has put on a better shirt, and is leaning on her cane. Lene offers to help her down but she just waves her off and we make for the exit.

And… I don’t know, I am not really surprised but I wasn’t expecting a limo to be waiting for us.

I… Right, Claire is rich. Catherine’s kinda made vague mentions of it but yah…

Woah.

Claire looks at the limo, we have seen cars on the street but I think this is the closest she has been to one so far. She tilts her head, and whispers to me, “Why is it shaped so differently than other cars?”

“Is everything alright Mademoiselles?”

“Oh of course Lene.” Claire insists.

Lene-sama opens the door for us and beckons us in.

It's… really roomy in her, and Claire moves in carefully after Catherine, offering her a hand. The two of them sit opposite of me, and Lene closes the door.

“So it’s like a carriage without a horse then? It uses an ‘engine’, correct?”

“Yes, and umm, this is a different type of car, it’s called a Limousine. It's typically a symbol of wealth.”

“Yah, this is just our usual ride. Don't worry, Lene is a good driver.”

“Oh, well yes.” Claire is a bit awestruck taking in the I interior.

“Seat belt.” Catherine mentions.

“Hrmm?”

“This.” Catherine leans over and pulls the belt over Claire, “This is in case of accident, keeps you secure, these move way faster than a horse.”

“Right.” It looks like Claire is just trying to take in everything she can, eyes glancing all over.

Lene-sama’s voice comes in over an intercom, “If you are ready Mademoiselles, I will take us to your first destination.”

Catherine hits a button, then over intercom I guess, “Yes, we are ready, thanks Lene.”


“Mother Claire, you should take it easy.”

“I’m fine, Aleah.” I am, I’m just a little tired. Aleah has been fretting too much since the girls came for a visit. I am happy they made it, though.

Aleah has just helped me into a seat. She made sure it’s as comfy as possible. She really needn’t worry so much, though.

“Mama Claire will be fine Aleah, just let her relax.” May comes over and puts a hand on her sister’s shoulder. She tries to put on a smile to ease her sister, but even I can see she is anxious.

“I’m glad you two made it. It’s made your Mother Rae very happy.” I lean back into my chair. Maybe I am a bit tired.

“Of course, Mother…” Aleah rises, after she has finished setting the blanket around me.

“Yeah, we hope it was a good day for you, Mama Claire.” May’s smile looked strained. I wish they wouldn't look so sad. It’s okay.

“It was.” I close my eyes for a moment. It was such a lovely dinner. I just wish I had more of an appetite. The girls put so much work into it. “You know we love you, right? We are very proud of you two.”

They look so beautiful. We have been so blessed. They have grown up into fine, capable women.

Aleah looks over at May with concern. Despite trying to put on a brave face, May is starting to get misty eyed. Girls, it's fine.

“I think your Mama needs a bit of quiet, girls.” Rae enters the room, carrying a tray with tea. I can tell from the aroma that it’s perfectly brewed as usual.

“Mother, you should have let us make the tea!” Aleah rushes over and helps Rae keep the tray stable. The two of them keep fretting over the both of us.

Rae clicks her tongue, “Please Aleah, I’m still capable. Besides, we both know she likes the way I make it better.” Rae doesn’t fight her off, though, and they bring the tray over to me and sit next to my seat. Rae pulls her own chair closer to mine and settles in. “You two should go clean up, it’s okay.”

Aleah sighs and pulls May towards the kitchen. “Come on, May, let’s give them some privacy." May looks like she wants to argue, but Aleah meets her eyes and she relents. “We love you, Mother.” Aleah’s voice is soft, and it looks like May might choke if she tries to say something, so she just nods her head.

“Thank you girls. It will be fine.” I’m just tired.

“Claire?” Rae's voice catches my attention. I must have nodded off. It’s just the two of us now, and she pours us two cups of tea. It smells just right.

“Thank you, Rae.” She puts the cup into my hand and helps guide my hand to take a sip. It’s perfect.

She smiles once we put the cup back down. She is still beautiful after all these years. The wrinkles and grayed hair are a mark of a life well lived. One I am so proud to have shared with her.

“Claire?” She asks again.

“Yes, Rae?”

“I love you.” I smile and she twines her hand in mine.

“Ooh? Well, I suppose I might love you too.” Her wrinkle crease as she smiles at our silliness.

I lean back into my seat and let out a contented sigh. Rae’s hand squeezes mine and I do my best to squeeze back. I feel very tired.

“Rae?”

“Yes?” The way I must have asked it has caused her concern.

“I love you.”

She nods and waits for me to continue.

“It was a beautiful life.”

Rae’s face scrunches at that. Please, my love, it’s okay.

“Please, Rae, don’t lose hope. There is always next time.”

She squeezes my hand and nods. I can see tears twinkling in her eyes. “I’ll find you again.” Her voice wavers.

“No…”

“No?” Her voice cracks.

“I’ll find you this time.” I give her hand a squeeze. “It’s only fair.”

Her face settles, still solemn, but the worry is pushed aside for now. “Is that a promise?” I want to. I want us to find each other over and over again. I want us to be there for each other every time.

“It is. I love you, Rae.” So much.

“And I love you, Claire. Always .” I worry she might break, but she just smiles as her gaze locks with mine. Rae draws her face to mine and we share a kiss. Her lips melt into mine perfectly. I don’t have the energy for much but I put all I can into one last kiss. Rae slides back into her chair and hums. She runs her fingers over my knuckles and I feel myself relaxing.

I am very tired.

Perhaps I just need a quick rest for my eyes.


I missed this.

Rae’s breath is heavy as I draw back, I need air.

Her lips are swollen from our connection, her eyes are dilated, she is in a daze.

The bruise on her neck bright.

Oh how I missed this.

I place my finger under the tip of her chin, raise it ever so slightly and our eyes connect.

She whimpers with need, and I am generous. I lift her chin and bring her face to mine. Her lips to mine once again. I savor the taste, her taste, and our lips move in tandem with each other. In a dance we have played many times, and will play many more.

But I long for more.

My other hand creeps as if it has an agenda of its own. I feel it trace against her stomach, running gently over the surface, but that is not enough. Fabric bars me from the skin and so the hand winds its way beneath the sweater and makes contact with the skin below. She gasps as my fingers trace over the familiar territory and I use the moment to deepen the kiss. She is very inexperienced, but oh so willing. I run my tongue over the lips seeking entry and she acquiesces. Slipping in, my tongue runs over hers. I can feel her pulse quicken and she moans as our tongues twine.

Knock Knock.

It comes from the door, and I pull away. That causes Rae to whimper again at the loss of contact, but she seems to have barely noticed the knock has even happened. She is extremely disheveled, her hair is a mess, her sweater has been pushed up high and left arm has nearly escaped from the sleeve.

And best of all… she is smeared in my lipstick.

Mine .

“Rae, that’s probably Misha.”

She whimpers again, “Buuut we just….”

Oh god she is adorable, I give her a quick peck on the cheek and then rise from the bed. I quickly pat myself down, I am far more composed than my partner and I turn to get the door.

I was correct, it is Misha, and she is very surprised to see me. She does a double take at first and then notices Rae still on her bed in a stupor.

“Well Fuck.”She mutters, does everyone swear here? “Guess she wasn’t exaggerating… didn’t think you would be the one to answer the door Francois-san.”

“It’s good to see you M- Jur-chan, Rae-chan said she told you about… well me .”

“Hmmhmm, yah I guess… seeing is believing….” She eyes me cautiously. “You know what, let’s have a talk while Rae… recovers from whatever you just did to her.”

I don’t particularly enjoy her tone or implication, Rae was very willing to accept everything I just did to her.

Right? I hazard one last glance at her, she certainly is in a stupor.

Calm down, right, right. I may have gone slightly overboard. Rae doesn’t even seem to realize I am talking to Misha. But she did enjoy it.

“All right.”

We leave the dorm room and she closes the door. “So what’s your game?” She is trying to keep her tone even, but I can hear the slightest of edges still.

“Rae told you, didn't she?”

“And now I’m asking you.” This is fair I suppose, she should be skeptical.

Fine, “Yes, I woke up a week ago with not memories of this life, but a previous life. One where Rae and I were married. In a very different world”

“Francois-san, that sounds like a load of shit even if I wanted to believe you, prove it.”

Hrmmm, “How would you suggest I prove it? I knew you in our past lives too but I am unsure how much of that life is the same as the one. Would you just think I was making it up if I describe elements from then? Your family was part of the nobility, you had close ties with the royalty and grew up with prince.. Yu, but when you were still young your family was disgraced and lost their status as nobility. You were still close with Yu afterwards…” How much do I say?

She looks completely neutral. I’m not making any progress.

“What if I say something I shouldn’t.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

“Fine, you and Yu became partners, romantically.”

Nothing.

I knew that wouldn’t get her to take me seriously, I suppose I will have to drop something more dramatic.

“Once things settled down the two of you became Nuns.”

Her eyes narrow, the first break in her mask. “What did you say?”

“I only said what happened in my previous life Misha, I don’t know what that means for this one.”

“You certainly are sounding like you are implying something there Francois-san.” Her ice is finally heating up.

“You wanted me to convince you, I don’t… know what is the same here but please believe me, I will be on your side whatever the case will be. Am I wrong? You know Yu here, sh- they, ughh, you knew then too!”

She finally looks unfooted, “Francois-san if you say anything about this to anyone-”

“Misha I know! God damn it I’m not an idiot! Yu is my friend as well! I helped Rae commit treason to keep her safe!”

“Jesus Christ!” What? “Was… Yu… You know what trans is? Are you saying that Yu was trans?” She sighs.

“Yes, it was complicated, curse her mother for it, but yes. But she got to be herself, she got to be happy. She… got to live.”

Misha looks uncharacteristically rattled now, “God, you need to stop for a second. Look He… Yu… God damn it, look I don’t know for sure, I don’t even know if Yu knows.”

Magic doesn’t exist here, was Yu born… “But you had a feeling?”

“It doesn’t matter what I feel, Francois-san.”

“Of course it does, Yu trusts you, I don't think there is anyone who knew her-them as well as you did. They need your help.”

“Stop, I…. fuck I need to think.”

I just nod and Misha paces for a minute.

“You can’t say anything… to anyone. Not Rae, Not Yu.”

“And definitely not her mother.”

That catches her off guard, “His, and your right, his mother would lose her shit, christ. Fuuuck, this is getting too real.” She covers her face and throws her head back, a slow groan escaping in the process.

“So Yu is…?.”

She snaps back to me. “I don’t know Francois-san and don’t you dare go poking around into it. Please.” She gnaws at her lip.

“Should I tell you more about… the last time?”

She groans… “I don’t know, I don’t think so. I’m not supposed to know.”

“But you had a feeling.”

She groans again, “There was… look it was just a feeling but it’s not up to me to figure that out for him… them.”

“I know, I just want you to know I will be there for both of you, you both deserve to be happy and I want to help if I can. But that will always be on your terms.”

She’s really looking at me now, really trying to figure me out, “I… you're like a completely different person.”

“I suppose, I never met the old me.” What would that be like?

“This is honestly the first real conversation we had, but Yu and I kept an eye on you, since you were kinda trying to get in Thane-san pants.”

“Misha!” ughh, “God I can’t even imagine that anymore, please never mention that again. It’s been a long time since I felt anything remotely like that for Thane-san.”

“Yah well I guess your work on Rae speaks for itself doesn’t it. Jeez, Rae? Like she is my friend but really ?”

“Yes. Do you really want me to say what I find so enticing about her?”

I will.

“I suppose not.”

“I do care for her, deeply. I’m not lying when I said we were wives, she is the love of my life, in every sense. I… may have lost a small amount of control before you arrived.”

“Pfft!, Small? Well I don’t think she is going to complain anytime soon, but don’t rush her too much either. Pretty sure you were her first kiss.”

Oh

Ohhhh

That’s a delightful idea, isn’t it .

“Really?”

“Don’t you sound pleased, and yes. Middle school… wasn’t great for her and it took her a lot of work before she was comfortable to come out to me. I don’t think anyone else here knows. So don't hurt her, okay?”

Hrmm, she always glossed over this part of her life before, which considering Rae, does make sense. She said it was fine, but I suppose it must have only felt fine after enough time. I can’t help but feel angry at Kosaki again, but that’s hardly what Rae wanted. “I understand, I just want what’s best for her.”

“And that would be sucking out her tonsils?” I do not need her sass.

“I don’t need to hear this from you, I'll have you know, You and Yu were incorrigible once you got together.”

“Okay I don’t need to hear that, and we aren’t… look… I don’t need to explain anything but we aren’t together right now.” She sounds tired.

“Ohh, I’m sorry did-


” Dear gods I am always putting my foot in my mouth.

“Please stop, we… nothing happened between us, I don’t know what’s going on between us right now. It’s complicated and you just made it ten times more complicated.“

“Apologies, you're right. I will mind my own affairs, Misha.” I offer her a short bow.

“Don't do that please.” She sighs and pinches her nose.

“Have you had dinner yet?”

“No?”

“I wanted to treat Rae, I can treat you as well?”

She mulls it over, “Fine, if you're paying. I was going to see if Rae wanted to get something to eat anyways. Let's go get your toy.”

Misha opens the door, and Rae is still sitting on her bed, her sweater is still incredibly askew and she is very lost in her head.

I did go overboard, didn't I?

“Hey loser! Let's get food.” She smirks as Rae snaps out the stupor.

“Misha? Misha! Shit!” She tries to right her sweater but just ends up tumbling in place and falling out of her bed, god she is cute.

“God you're such a fucking cliche, you should wipe your face of and clean up a bit.”

Rae finally rights herself and pouts at Misha, “Why do I gotta wipe my face off, I don’t have anything on it?”

“Well you do now.”

“Huh?” She still doesn’t follow.

She spots me to the side, her brow is furrowed. I point to my lips, “Oops”

She tests her face with her fingers and feels the tact, she gives it a rub and red lipstick sticks to her finger, a quick inspection causes her to turn bright red. “I’llberightback!” She quickly hops up and makes for what I assume is a washroom.

“How did you manage to make so much a fucking mess out of her, and not yourself?”

“Years of practice.”  I can't even fight my prideful smirk.


“You seem pleased”, Catherine comments almost immediately as I enter our dorm. I do definitely feel like I am glowing.

“I had a wonderful date.”

I can see she is in her usual spot, lounging on the sofa, “Wasn’t it not…?” she inquires.

“Yes.”

“And it was…?”

“Yes.”

“Huh, well grats I guess. So what happened?” She sits up and aligns herself better for a conversation.

I still feel giddy, I quickly jump into the adjacent sofa, “She took me to the park nearby, we first went to Shinobazu Pond and it’s so pretty, the flowers were all in bloom, I think it was her first time being there too, and then there was zoo Catherine, with animals of all sorts, I saw a panda bear! It was so adorable I never knew a bear could look like that. There were monkeys, an elephant, they had otters, Catherine, Otters!” Oh god they were so cute and they were so close to us.

Catherine blinks, how is she not impressed? “Cool?”

“They had Otters.”

“Umm, right that’s cool sorry I wasn’t prepared for you, Claire, an adult to lose her shit over going to a zoo.”

Why I never… “Of course I would love to go see a zoo, who wouldn't? The animals were cute, or majestic. They had a tiger, it was so big…”

Catherine laughs, “That’s great really, sorry you're right. I think. It’s just easy to get jaded over the simple things.”

“There is nothing simple about a zoo, Catherine.”

She just chuckles, “It’s relative, don’t worry about it, how was the rest of the day?”

“We got lunch there and then we went back to her room, she finally showed me a video game for the first time.”

Catherine’s face scrunches, clearly unimpressed with that prospect, “Really?”

“It was lovely Catherine!”

“Okay, okay, what game did she show you?”

“Persona 5.”

Catherine snorts, “What a nerd.”

“Catherine!”

“Sorry, she is, it’s just funny.”

“I wanted to see it for so long now, she has been telling me about them our entire life and I finally got to see what she was talking about. It's ridiculous how much I couldn’t even picture what it was like. She even let me play it myself!”

Catherine nods, not laughing anymore but she still has a silly smirk on her face, “So you had fun?”

“Yes.”

“Good, wow,” she says quietly to herself, “Anything else happened?”

Yes

“I don’t know if I should say…”

“Oh come on Claire, you have to say now, what did you do?” She is curious now.

“Hmm, what makes you think I did something?”

“Really?” She raised her brow, “You act like I haven’t had to listen to you two for the last week, girl you are thirsty.”

Excuse me? “Thirsty?”

“Like Rae is a tall drink of water and you are dying in a desert.”

“Oh…”

“Am I wrong?”

She isn't. If I could drink deep of Rae—

CLAIRE! Not now!

“Fine yes… I kissed her… a lot.” I know I have the silliest smile on my face right now but I can’t help it. I kissed Rae. I kissed my wife. I kissed my newly anointed girlfriend.

“Damn you had a mission girl.”

I can’t help but giggle.

“Soooo what? You two are dating now? Again?”

“Yes, she walked me home and we talked about it, she wants this too, she just doesn’t want to be public about it.”

“Makes sense. I’m happy for you.” Catherine looks happy for me, proud of me.

“Thanks Catherine.”

This is perfect, Everything is going right. We are together again, I can make her happy, I can make sure this life is a good one. Like our last one. I don’t know how that future will play out yet, I still have so much to understand about how this world works but I can do this.

I can make sure our life is perfect.


I am looking through my closet—there are so many choices for clothes. I guess it's the fashion here but I wasn’t expecting to have so many pants.

Hrmmm…

These pants do seem like they would look good on me, and they might be better than a skirt or dress if we go for a walk. Hrmm, these white slacks look good, and it would get less in the way if—

“Hey.”

I pull away from the closet, and turn towards the voice coming from the sofa. A head peeks up over the side.

“Yes?”

“I…are you planning an outfit?” She definitely just second guessed herself and diverted into a different question, but I have no idea what it could have been.

“Yes, I am spending the day with Rae tomorrow, though officially it’s not a Date . We will be heading out on the town and taking a break from all of the studying. You don’t have to worry about me tomorrow—I’ll be out of your hair.”

Catherine perks up, unsurprisingly. “I would appreciate that. You've been doing pretty well with picking out your outfits, by the way. I suppose it wouldn’t be that hard with how much work the previous you put into your wardrobe, but still, you’re doing a good job. And the choices you’re making now feel different, too.”

“Good different?”

“I guess? It’s more of a vibe than something I can point to specifically. You were always more fashion aware than me, but now it feels…I don’t know. More authentic? Less showy?” Catherine pulls herself up and lets her arms hang over the side of the couch. She shrugs.

“I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“I noticed in my portraits—”

“Photos,” Catherine corrects. Right, photos.

“...photos, that I never curled my hair.”

“Errr, well, yeah? Did you do that before?”

“I did, like how Mother would do her hair.” It does make sense that this Claire never picked up the habit. I’m not even sure my relationship with my mother is on good terms, judging from the photo of us I saw earlier.

“Oh…” Catherine slumps a bit on the couch. She looks downcast. “Why haven't you asked about it?” She finally says after a long pause. The question feels like it is lined with lead. Is that what she wanted to bring up earlier?

“About which, Mother? Father? ...You?” The accident .

Catherine looks miserable and she tries to merge with the sofa. “So you know about that.”

“It wasn’t your fault. At least, it wasn’t your fault back in the world that I remember and I feel certain that wasn’t your fault here either.” I can tell she needs to hear this, like she needed to hear it back then.

“You don’t know that, you weren’t there. You”—

“You were six years old, Catherine! How could any of that have been your fault? You aren’t responsible for what happened!”

The fierceness of my voice takes her by surprise and I hold her gaze, not letting her look away. I can see tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “But if your mom hadn’t tried to save me…your dad might…”

I close the distance between us and kneel beside the sofa next to Catherine. She curls into a ball at the back of the sofa but I gently take her hand. “Catherine, I don’t blame you for what happened. Can I tell you what it was like before, where I came from?”

She doesn't say anything but I can see a slight nod of her head.

“In the kingdom of Bauer, your father was a high-ranking noble and was at odds with my parents. I mentioned before that my parents had wanted social reform, and well, your father was adamantly opposed to their goals. He arranged for the accident to happen. As you told me back then, you were made an unwitting  pawn in their plan; you were gifted with a unique magic that could erase memories and he meant for you to use it to get rid of any evidence.”

I take a deep breath and continue. “The first attack failed to kill them, though, and my mother was able to save you before a second group of attackers came and killed her. You escaped and your father planned to use you again—he assigned you to follow me as we grew up so he could eventually use both of us as part of some future ploy. As we grew closer, though, you saw his horrible plans for what they were and refused to play along with them. In the end you turned on him completely and helped me catch and arrest him. You even used your magic on him.” I try to meet her gaze again as she averts her eyes. “None of that was your fault. You were being used. And once you were old enough to realize it, you refused to cooperate. You were always my friend and I consider you like a sister to me, Catherine.”

Catherine needs a moment, and tries to level out her breathing. Eventually she lets out a long breath and runs a hand through her hair. “I hate how much your version sounds almost exactly like what happened here.” Her voice is very shaky. I gently rub her hand, a careful nudge to encourage her to continue.

“Okay, yeah, my dad has had it out for yours for a long time. I’m sure you’ve figured this part out already, but you come from money, like a lot of money. The Francois name is a well-known worldwide brand, a high end, very classy brand. It’s on all sorts of luxury goods, such as clothes, accessories, even custom cars. Your mom wanted to do some good with all of that money and fame when she married your father, at least that's what she told me. Umm…she—they—were trying to reform a lot of the standards in the EU to combat malicious corporate malfeasance. Without getting into too many of the details, my dad didn’t like that. It cut into too many of his profits. He didn’t like me either, or my mom—we were a mistake he wanted to get rid of. I overheard him arranging the ‘accident.’ He was going to kill us all. Our car was supposed to run yours off the side of the road into the river and....”

She takes another breath to compose herself.The memory still causes her to tremble.

“He caught me eavesdropping and told me the best thing I could do was to make sure we all died cleanly. I should have said something, anything, but I was so terrified…and then it all happened so fast—our car rolled into your family’s car and we both went over the side. I thought I was going to die when we hit the water. I should have just died from the impact but I didn’t and I remember seeing your mother…she was trying to pull your father out of the car but he wasn’t moving and then she somehow saw me. She pulled me out instead when she should have saved him. It should have been—

“No.”

“But—”

“No, Catherine, it’s not your fault and you can’t tell me my life would be better if you weren't here.”

She takes a very shaky breath, tears welling up in her eyes, “C-Claire…you weren't…you don’t know what you were like—”

“Catherine, our parents made that choice, not you. I’m not going to lie, losing my mother in my old life hurt…and I…I’m so scared to see her again. Knowing she’s here but not Father, I don’t know how to put it into words. He lived a full life in the world I remember. He was there for me, and for Rae and our g-girls. Knowing he won’t get to see me grow up and find h-happiness hurts, but now I have M-mother again instead and I don’t know what to make of it. I…it feels wrong to be h-happy about it but—”

“C-claire if you cry, I’m—”

That breaks any semblance of control I have, and a loud sob escapes from me as I throw my arms around her. It catches her by surprise but she takes a shaky breath and embraces me back, tears streaming down her face as well.

“Don’t leave again!” I cry out.

“What?”

“Don’t you dare think about leaving me again!” I repeat.

Catherine stops crying, a look of confusion on her face. “I…okay.”

I’m still crying, but I’m also laughing too. Goodness, I feel like a mess. My energy is all over the place and Catherine is no better. “Good.” My face must be a mess from all of the crying. I haven't cried like that in a while. Feeling a bit calmer after letting all of that out,  I rise from where I was kneeling next to  the sofa and take a seat next to Catherine. I haven’t a clue what to say right now. The silence is broken by occasional sniffles.

Catherine is the first to speak, after taking a deep breath and exhaling. “I know that rationally I’m not accountable for what happened. I know that. But I feel accountable. I feel like I was the reason you were miserable growing up. If I had died, if I had drowned in the river because your mother pulled your father out instead of me, you wouldn’t have lost anything.”

The expression on her face is pained. I take a breath, wanting to tell her how wrong she is. She holds up a hand.

“Let me finish. My dad basically disavowed me after that. After all, I was a bastard child and that made me poor stock or whatever. I went to your mother, Melia, and I told her everything. I think she believed me, but there wasn


’t any real proof. Your mother took care of me after that and you and I grew up together but you—well the old you—you didn’t hate me, exactly, but…it always felt like you were tolerating me, just barely. Sometimes you would get mad about things, but mostly you were just despondent. Your mother tried putting us both through therapy, and it helped me, it really did. I know I was a mess over what happened and…”

I put my hand over Catherine’s and give it a gentle squeeze. “I never thought we would be able to have an honest conversation about this, after all this time. Jeez. You never really bounced back from what happened. It just felt like a slow decline. I guess I never knew you very well before but…Claire, it’s always been hard being around you. We were supposed to stick together, but I felt like I was the reason you were so unhappy. I wanted to be there for you but when we started uni it felt like it just got worse and then that night you came back and said all that stuff and you were suddenly so different from before and I just snapped. I’m sorry.”

I pull her into a hug. Everything I could say to reassure her feels like an empty platitude, so I just hope the hug lets her know instead. “Thank you for this. For being honest and telling me everything. I know all of this has been a lot, and now that I am a different person with different memories we are both having to relive it all over again. It's surreal how much this life is like an echo of my old one. I am truly sorry for how the other me treated you.“

“You're different but you don’t feel different , if you know what I mean. It’s weird, like I see how you are now and I recognize a lot of things. Things that were there before but buried underneath all of the pain and loneliness you were dealing with. You used to bring me candy as a kid, licorice. I don’t remember when it stopped but you brought it again for me recently, the day you…changed. You might even be going a bit overboard with how much you have gotten me since then.”

“You say that, but it keeps disappearing.” I’m sure my gentle joke doesn’t quite land how I intend it to with all of the tears in my eyes.

“It’s been a week , okay? Your wife has been around a lot, and sure, she’s polite, but…” She sounds tired, but she also sounds calmer than she has in a while.

“I know, don't worry, tomorrow you will have a break. And I will work on figuring out a better schedule with Rae to give you more time alone.”

“Thanks.”

I squeeze her hand, happy that she's still here.

“So—what is my mother like now?” I ask the question I’ve been dying to ask since I first learned she was alive.

“Oh…she’s nice. Very kind and caring. She took care of me after the accident, and the two of us basically lived as sisters—”

“We are sisters.”

“Okay, cool it with the sappiness. I’ve done enough crying tonight.” She rubs her eyes. “I lived with the two of you after the accident. We moved around quite a bit. At first we stayed with your cousin, Manaria Sousse. After that we bounced around a lot, mostly living different places in Europe but eventually we ended up here in Japan after middle school. I’m not sure why it worked out that way but it was related to your mother’s business interests, I think.”

“Is she here, too?”

“Sometimes, but business often takes her out of the country. If we need something from home we can ask Lene.”

“Lene?” Lene?

“Ummm yes, do you know—”

“Yes, oh sorry, yes. She was my personal maid in my previous life. We grew up together .”

“Oh, I see.”

“Umm, so what is she like here?”

“Well, she didn’t grow up with us, if that’s what you’re asking. I wouldn’t describe her as a maid, more like a personal assistant. She maintains the house and assists you and Melia with your daily needs. She even acts as a driver when necessary.  She’s been with us for…I want to say six years? She’s also from France.”

France is a country here, right? The similarity with my name is odd. “That’s in Europe?”

“Yes, that's where we were born.”

“Okay. So did we…I don’t know, was Lene involved in our lives very much?”

“Yeah, sort of.  Like I said, her role is to help with day-to-day life stuff. Melia has always been really busy with the business and she wanted someone to help when we moved to Japan so Lene came with us. Sometimes she cooks, sometimes she cleans, sometimes she books appointments and drives us around, whatever is needed. She found this dorm and helped us move in here, too.”

“So I can ask her for help, if we need something?”

“Yes, that’s pretty much why she’s here…why, what are you thinking of?”

Lene might know more about getting Catherine’s prosthetic fixed, right? Not that I can tell Catherine about that yet. “I’m thinking of quite a few things. If something goes wrong, we can contact her, right? Like if something breaks here in our dorm?”

“Sure, if your laptop putzs out or something, I guess. You also used to have her drive you out for shopping trips.” Catherine shrugs.

She must be in my phone then, right? I haven’t seen her name pop up in my contacts… I pull out my phone to look again. Goodness there are so many names here….

“Are you trying to find her in your phone?”

“Yes! Why isn’t she here?” I am making my second run through this list now!

“Let me check,” she says, reaching for the phone. I pass it to her and she flips through it several times. “Ahhhhh, I found her…you had her listed as Driver.” Catherine does not look impressed.

“ Driver ?” Really, Claire? Lene deserves so much better than that.

“Old Claire could suck sometimes, huh…”

I put my head in my hands and groan. Driver ? “I need to apologize to her. That’s so demeaning!”

“I doubt she even knows, to be honest. Old you was very possessive about your phone; you never really let people touch it, let alone use it. Here.” She hands it back to me, and I update Lene's contact to her proper name. “Sorry, we got distracted with Lene didn’t we. Did you still want to talk about your mom?”

“Yes, I… in my previous life she passed away when I was just turning six. She and my father had to attend to important business so they missed my birthday. I had gotten so upset with Mother about it that I told her…I hated her. That was the last time I saw her. It was so long ago for me…”

“Your mother is…well, she’s more caring than she has any right to be. She didn’t have to take me in after everything that happened. Sometimes she has high expectations. Sometimes it’s a little hard, and you two have def clashed a bit over that, but she does care.”

“That photo you asked me to look at…what were we doing?”

“That was before classes started here. She wanted to do one last trip with us before things got too busy with school and her business. We went back to France together for a week. I don’t think you particularly cared for it. That photo you took was because your mom insisted. You weren’t thrilled to take it but you eventually agreed, , and I guess you never actually deleted. It was hard to know what you were thinking back then.”

It’s easy enough to bring the photo up again on my phone. There are others of my Mother there too, but I keep coming back to this one. I don’t like how unenthused I look next to her, especially with the smile she has on her face.

“Do you want to see her?”

“Yes?”

“Yes?”

I drop the phone in my lap and fall back against the sofa cushions. “It’s terrifying, if I’m honest. I want to apologize for what I said to her here, but I don’t even know what I am apologizing for .. I don’t know what it was like between us here, after everything that happened. I only knew her as a child in my old life. And she…she will definitely notice something has changed about me when we talk…”

“Well, I don’t think you have to worry about seeing her soon if you’re not ready. I’m pretty sure she’s away on a business trip right now. You have some time before you have to see her and I think she was also trying to give you some space.”

I nod. “Thanks, Catherine. I really do appreciate you being here.”

“This is nice,” she says in reply, and I think she actually might mean it.

It really is nice.

“Sooooo I had magic that could erase memories?”

“Yeah, you would use it to make yourself invisible to people when you didn’t want them to see you.”

Catherine groans. “Damn, not going to lie, I’m really jealous of magic me.”