Cyrodiil/Bathes-in-Murky-Waters

Bathes-in-Murky-Waters is a mysterious Argonian monk who spends all his days relaxing in the   dimly-lit bathhouse.

Although stripped to a loincloth when in the water, he also owns some blue mage robes and boots. He is armed with an ebony dagger and can cast the spell Invisibility. He also carries ten lockpicks.

He can be found sitting in one of the bathhouse's stone tubs and will welcome you once you enter: "''Ah, another patron of this fine bathhouse! Please, come in, come in! The water's fine. Excellent, even.", "Delightful waters, no? Would be a true shame should they be sullied..." and "This water is delightful. Truly delightful, yes?" 

Once you sit down near him he will start conversation: "Ah, someone else who desires a relaxing bath, yes? Welcome to the bathhouse, fair patron. So, to whom do I owe this pleasure?" If you introduce yourself, he will quip: "An excellent name. I get the feeling that you and I are about to become good friends indeed, yes?"; if you ask his name he chides you: "Never answer a question with a question, friend. Bad form, or so the Imperials say."

He will then introduce himself: "I call myself Bathes-in-Murky-Waters, though friends call me 'Bathes', for I enjoy bathing in baths very much. These are dark times for the Empire, wouldn't you say? It still has not recovered from the Great War. And now, once again, it appears it will descend into turmoil. The Dominion are increasing their presence. And I hear rumors, whispers on the wind, of insurrectionist groups, agitating against the current government. Some of the political families of Cyrodiil are even vying to place themselves upon the Ruby Throne. What say you to that, friend?" 

If you note the strangeness of the situation, he will disagree: "Baths are relaxing, yes? Unwind the muscles, release tension. Surely the best place to have rational discussion about sensitive subject matter." You can then offer four responses:

The Empire will pull through: "Hmm. I wish I shared your optimism, friend. The Empire is reeling, and I doubt the Median Empire will be able to salvage it." 
The Empire won't last much longer: "Yes. But I wonder if there might be hope yet for the Empire, without its Median overseers holding it back?" 
I'm not one for politics: "Ah, but friend, that is a fool's outlook. If you do not involve yourself in politics, you become a powerless spectator." 
It's useless to speculate: "Yes, friend, we must - but if the Dominion decided to decimate the Empire, we would struggle to survive, would we not?" 

Regardless of your response, he will then press you again: "Now, friend. Tell me honestly - and remember, we are friends here, in this most innocuous of public places... What do you truly think of the Median Empire?" If you again note how surreal the situation is, he will brush this aside: "Ah, come now, friend. Surely you are no stranger to the Imperial concept of small-talk." You can then offer four responses:

They betrayed us all: "I agree. And they cannot withstand the chaos ensuing from it. The rebellion in Skyrim, the public bitterness..." 
They do what they have to do: "Perhaps they do, friend, but politics can be notoriously unforgiving. Do you truly believe they will be able to withstand this discontent? No, they cannot. And they will crumble. It is inevitable now." 
I'm not telling you what I think: "I will tell you what I think of it, in that case. This Empire has been an utter failure. It has failed to protect us from the Dominion. It is reeling, and it will soon die." 
Titus Mede is dead (if Hail Sithis! is complete): "Indeed. I wonder if I'll ever meet the person who committed the act...  Yes, the Median Empire is doomed to fail after the death of its figurehead." 

Regardless of your response, he will claim: "But the Empire is greater than its current Median rule. And it cannot be allowed to collapse, no? There must be change, yes? There must be revolution - do you not agree?" Again, you are presented with four options:

I disagree or I'm not about to tell you my political allegiances: "This greatly saddens me. But time may change your political allegiances, no? You may yet stumble upon me bathing elsewhere, when your thoughts are different, yes? And now, my friend, I must depart. I am sure we will see each other again." 
I don't care if the Empire collapses: "Do you not? Your indifference will be your undoing. You will soon change your tune if the Empire collapses on top of you. However, opinions are as fluid as the waters we currently sit in, no? You may yet stumble upon me bathing elsewhere, when your thoughts are different, yes? And now, my friend, I must depart. I am sure we will see each other again." 
I agree: "Ah, then we are two people of the same thinking, two allies cut from the same cloth, yes? Here, take this. I think you may find it greatly enlightening. I trust you will read it with great care. And now, my friend, I must depart. I am sure we will see each other again." 

In the latter scenario, Bathes will hand you a   inviting you to the   in  . Whatever your choice, he will then get dressed, leave the bathhouse and disappear from the game. If you catch him before he exits the bathhouse he will say: "A riveting conversation we had in the bath, yes? But follow the advice in the note. It'll help you make a real splash." or "An interesting conversation we had in the bath, no? Even if we turned out to disagree. Perhaps you will think differently when next we meet, yes?''"