Online:Hervod

Hervod is a Nord salt merchant found in The Rift. Jee-Lar sends to find him once you've got enough mammoth meat to feed an expedition, as the meat needs to be preserved for the long-haul. Evidently lonely out there, you have a choice of either paying him to get the salt or sit down with a mug of mead and tell a joke.

 
Related Quests


Quest-Related Dialogue
You will need to buy some salt from him during the quest.
:"Hey there!" Come to salt some buy … er, buy some salt?"
:Yes. I need some salt. Jee-Lar told me you could help with that.
:''"Oh, sure, I can sell you some salt … when I'm done with my break. Already cracked into this cask. Can't let it go to waste."
:When will your break be over?
:"Reckon I could finish this by tomorrow morning. You could come back then … but if you're in a hurry I suppose you could help me polish it off. Wouldn't mind the company. Gets duller than Reachman wit out here."
::No thanks. I'll make it worth your while if you just sell me the salt. [69 16px|link=ON:Gold]
:::"Bah. You're no fun. Fine, here's your salt. Guess I'll go back to drinking alone."
::Sure, I'll drink with you.
:::"Great! I've got a spare mug right over there. Have a drink! Put your feet up!"
:::All right. I'll be right back.

If you stop talking to him before making a choice and return, he will say:
:"Well? Going to help me polish off this mead, or are you too busy for fun?"
:Is this how you always do business?
:"Whenever I can! Who wants to haggle sober? Not me, I'll tell you that much. And it wouldn't be fair if I was the only one inebrate … inebriaded … drunk."
::Let's not haggle then. This ought to be enough to cover the salt and then some. [69 16px|link=ON:Gold]
::All right. I'll take you up on that drink.'''

If talked to before having a drink he'll say:
:"Go on! Drink up, friend!"

Once you have drunk the mead, he'll ask you to tell him a joke.
:''"Good stuff, eh? Goes down smooth and wallops like a raging mammoth! Hey … hey! Tell me a joke! I haven't heard a good joke in ages!"
:A joke? Let me think.
:"Don't go telling me any jokes that need thinking. It's not in the spirit of … the spirits. Hah!"
::All right. Have you heard the one about the horse?
:::"A few—but they're all raunchier than an Argonian maid. Let's hear yours, eh?"
::::A pony goes to a healer and says he's got a sore throat.
:::::"Yeah? So what's the healer say?"
:::::Don't worry—you're just a little horse.
:::::"A little—? Oh! Har! That's a good one! Well, looks like we've reached the dregs, so a deal's a deal. Here's your salt. Don't be a stranger, eh?"
::::What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
:::::"I don't know. What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?"
:::::A tale of WHOA!
:::::"A tale of— Ha! Say, that's not bad! Well, a deal's a deal. Here's your salt. Don't fall off your horse on the way back to Jee-Lar, eh?"
::::What kind of bread does a horse eat?
:::::"I don't know. What kind of bread does a horse eat?"
:::::Thoroughbred. 
:::::"Oh, by Orkey, that is terrible! Har! Let me get you that salt before you tell me another! Thanks for the company. Be sure to tell old Jee-Lar I said hello!"
::Right. Have you heard the one about the Daedric Prince?
:::"Daedric Prince? Bad luck, that. But I'm game! Go ahead!"
::::Why should you avoid making Molag Bal mad?
:::::"I don't know.
:::::He always Coldharbours a grudge
:::::''"Oof. I think that one could use some work, friend! Har! I'd help, but we've run dry. Best take your salt. Do yourself a favor and stick to the adventuring, eh?"
::::Why is Boethia such a good writer?
:::::"I don't know. Why is Boethia such a good writer?"
:::::She's the Prince of Plots.
:::::"Har! Oh, that's a real stinker, friend! I love it! I guess you'll be wanting your salt now. Ah well—a deal's a deal. You take care out there, all right?"
::::How many tickles does it make to make Hermaeus Mora laugh?
:::::"I don't know. How many tickles does it take to make Hermaeus Mora laugh?"
:::::Tentacles.
:::::"Tentacles? Oh. Har! That's good! I mean … it's bad, but you know what I mean! Here's your salt. You take care now. Tentacles … ha!"
::Fine. Have you heard the one about the craftsperson?
:::"A trade joke? Ha—this I've got to hear. Go ahead.
::::When should you avoid a blacksmith?
:::::"I don't know. When should I avoid a blacksmith?"
:::::When she's lost her temper.
:::::"Ugh! That is a groaner! Think I'll use that the next time I'm in town. Might be soon, I'm out of mead! Hah! Here's your salt. Take care out there, friend!"
::::Why did the fool throw his dagger away?
:::::"I don't know. Why did the fool throw his dagger away?"
:::::Because an enchanter had runed it.'
:::::"Har! By Orkey, that is a stinker. Good thing I love stinkers! Here's your salt. You take care out there, all right?"
::::Why did the Orc decide not to be a tailor?
:::::"I don't know. Why did the Orc decide not to be a tailor?"
:::::He wasn't suited for the job.
:::::"Oof! Har! I think I've heard worse, but I'm not so sure! I won't pester you for another. I don't think I could take it! Here's your salt. Take care, friend!"''

If you speak with him before heading back to Jee-Lar, he'll say:
:''"I think … yeah, I'm sobering up. Time for another round!"''

Notes
Hervod is dressed in the   costume.