True Telvanni Nobility

A malicious pack of wolves is stalking Telvannis as of late. Envious and frightened of the eons-old wizard lords of House Telvanni, they seek to neuter us with their regulations and moralities, and ultimately to cast down our great works. I speak, of course, of the Cyrodiil hordes, those inexhaustible malcontents that torment all of Tamriel, seeking to bend its lands to their wicked yoke. Recently, Cyrodiil arrogance has grown beyond the pale -- their agents are now brazenly accusing us of necromancy, while ever-growing numbers of slippery abolitionists are inciting riot in our countryside. Many would justly argue that these slanderers and criminals deserve to be driven from our shores with prejudiced force. Yet, one must despair at the prospect -- the Empire does not lack bodies to throw into such a fight, so even though ultimate victory is not in doubt, the struggle will be prolonged and costly.

I, therefore, nurture a desperate hope that words can still disarm the situation. Despite the absurdity of having to explain myself -- why would the dragon explain itself to the flea -- I must attempt the thankless task of educating the Cyrodiili to respect, or better yet, fear Telvanni superiority. Hence, this tract will make abundantly clear to all such trespassers -- if any can string more than two thoughts together, that is -- that the Telvanni will accede to absolutely no restraint on their freedom and any attempt to do so will come at a woeful price to would-be-offenders.

The tomfools of the Imperial government would have you believe that the current conflict is in some way "precipitated" by the Telvanni; nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, the Great House Telvanni is famed throughout all of Tamriel for its splendid isolation, as we have since millennia disavowed any pretense of seeking dominance over other lands. Our very founding dates back to the decision of the wisest Chimer wizards to abstain from the foolish War of the First Council that wreaked such havoc on Morrowind. In fact, we would be delighted to utterly ignore all of the myriad barbarians of Tamriel, were they not themselves so intent on banging on our gates! Protestations that we are enslaving "Imperial citizens" are, likewise, malicious and utterly stupid. Telvanni slaves are purchased on legal slave markets; where these creatures come from is not our business. Even if some former "citizens" find their ways to the pits, the very fact they succumbed to this fate is the surest condemnation of their worth -- what an absurd Empire it is that would defend the "rights" of such wretches. No, it is abundantly clear that any cause for strife stems singly from the twisted degeneracy of the Cyrodiils. These mongrels are confused and intimidated by the grand designs of the Telvanni, and as is natural to all imbeciles, they seek to cast down works of beauty and awe that go beyond their abilities.

In fact, the institution of slavery itself, which all Telvanni nobles rightly acknowledge as highly practical, but which the abolitionist scum believes a topic worthy of self-immolation, perfectly illuminates the contrast between Telvanni brilliance and Imperial lunacy. I could just leave it at "what we do with our own property is our own business" and anyone with an ounce of common sense would be satisfied. Yet, it is our misfortune that the abolitionist does not possess common sense; they instead feel that their "moral imperative" somehow supersedes basic decency. At this point, every Telvanni will guffaw -- "morality" is rightfully derided in our society as simply the moaning of the weak and frail. It is nothing but a desperate attempt to stave off the natural and rightful order: the domination of the lessers by their betters.

But against my better judgement, let us wade into the moral muck, where the abolitionist so loves to roll, to see if their arguments can even stand on their own terms. They weep bitter tears over the "sufferings" supposedly inflicted in Telvanni pits and laboratories; they say that our experiments are "cruel" and "inhumane". Yet, what is the comparison to? Indeed, they seek to put forward that these mundane hardships can somehow outweigh the unimaginable eons of toil and self-sacrifice on part of the Telvanni masters. Over the centuries, many, myself included, have poured every shred of our health and every drake of our fortune into our great works. Not unheard of are cases where the profound quest of a Telvanni master has cost the blood of their own sons and daughters. It is absurd, insulting, and downright malevolent of the Cyrodiil abolitionists to suggest that we are now not allowed to spend the lives of our slaves, that their supposed "suffering" is cause enough to arrest our aspirations. How can the pathetic whines of Argonian beasts outweigh a millennium of toil from the greatest wizard-lords? Or how can the miserable, brutish life of a Khajiit be compared to a revelation on the nature of the planes or of the origin of disease? In the harsh light of logic, the outlanders' "moral argument" dissipates like mist and their envy and anti-intellectualism are laid bare for all to see.

But perhaps it is not surprising that the abolitionist would sympathize so deeply with the Argonian -- the former is, after all, hardly higher than the latter in the hierarchy of intelligence. This criminal crowd of would-be moralists, in their quest to "enlighten" Morrowind, commit the most revolting acts of dishonesty and deceit -- they come disguised as traders or labourers, yet clutch a dagger poised to strike at the heart of Telvanni nobility. Until recently, the abolitionists' insanity was held in check by the armistice, but ever since the opening of Vvardenfell, the Empire has made a mockery of this document, letting ever increasing numbers of these criminals wash up on our shores. Now they roam Telvannis unchecked, free to infect misguided dunmer with their intellectual rot, inciting slave riots as they go.

These outrages will not be allowed to continue. Any sort of compromise on slavery is abhorrent to Telvanni nobility and completely out of the question. In fact, so are any rules or regulations which hold a hint of arresting our scholarship. We have no patience for tender souls or the ignorant, outraged mob. Neither will we submit ourselves to the judgement of the Imperial governors, those babbling idiots. Why would we let those inferior to us decide what is "right" and what is "wrong"? We will decide only for ourselves where our limits lie. If the abolitionist scum continues in their provocations, we will have no recourse but to blast them off our shores. Such a contest would not even be close -- House Telvanni in its incessant exploration of cosmic mysteries has gained a profound understanding of the arcane schools that no feeble "battle mage" will ever dream of. This empire of men, furthermore, strikes us as teetering on the edge of a well-deserved demise -- an emperor emasculated by that hedge wizard, Tharn, with daedric doppelgangers for heirs. This is a scene better fit for a minstrel show than an "imperial" court. No, if there is any sense in them, the Cyrodiil must see that driving the Telvanni to violent means is not remotely in their interest. Let the abolitionists heed my warning then and crawl back to the hovels they came from, while we still allow them to.

[Editor's note on the 2nd edition -- whereas Master Hlormayn's tract did not find the wide readership among outlanders it intended to, its popularity in Telvanni households has made it worthwhile to print a second edition for the benefit of this discerning market.]