prompter: Write a Steve Jobs style keynote presentation about a brand new product called the "iCar"

assistant: Good morning, everyone. Today, I'm thrilled to announce a revolutionary new product that will change the way we think about transportation forever: the iCar.

The iCar is not just a car, it's a breakthrough in automotive technology. It is a reflection of our passion for design, engineering, and innovation, and it represents the future of driving.

With the iCar, we've reimagined what a car can be. We've taken everything we know about technology and design and created a vehicle that is intelligent, intuitive, and connected. It is the ultimate driving machine.

The iCar is powered by a state-of-the-art electric motor that delivers an incredible driving experience. It accelerates from 0 to 60 mph in just 3.5 seconds and has a top speed of 200 mph. And with a range of over 400 miles on a single charge, it's ready to take you wherever you need to go.

But the iCar is more than just a powerful electric car. It's a fully integrated smart car that connects seamlessly to your digital life. With our revolutionary iDrive system, you can control your music, navigation, and communication with just your voice. And with our advanced safety features, like autonomous driving and collision avoidance, you can drive with confidence and peace of mind.

The iCar is also designed to be sustainable. We've used the latest materials and manufacturing techniques to reduce its environmental impact, and we've made it easy to recycle at the end of its life.

But perhaps the most exciting thing about the iCar is its design. It is sleek, elegant, and unmistakably Apple. From its aerodynamic lines to its iconic logo, it is a work of art on wheels.

The iCar is not just a car, it's a statement. It represents our commitment to innovation, sustainability, and design. It is the future of transportation, and we're thrilled to share it with you today.

Thank you.

prompter: Now write a Steve Ballmer on crack style keynote presentation about a brand new product called the "Microsoft Car."

assistant: Thank you, and good morning!
We're gathered here today to talk about something truly amazing. Something that will change the way we live our lives forever…
Introducing: The iCar.

This revolutionary vehicle is unlike anything you've ever seen before. It combines cutting-edge technology with sleek design for an experience like no other. Every detail has been carefully considered and thoughtfully designed to make your life easier — from its seamless integration with Siri to its intuitive touchscreen controls.

The iCar isn't just any old car; it's so much more than that. It's a personal assistant, navigator, and entertainment system all rolled into one. With smart features like real-time traffic updates, automatic parking assist, and voice-controlled everything, this car is truly ahead of its time. And let's not forget about safety! The iCar boasts advanced sensors and cameras that detect potential hazards on the road, keeping you and your loved ones safe at all times.

But what really sets the iCar apart from the rest? Its commitment to sustainability. This groundbreaking vehicle runs on a fully electric motor, reducing harmful emissions and helping protect the environment. As the grid goes green, so will your car. The iCar features a battery design that allows replacement by certified technicians, so the iCar can outlive its batteries and transport you far into the future.

So why wait? Make every drive feel like a joyride in the iCar. Don't settle for anything less than the very best when it comes to transportation. You deserve a vehicle that gets you where you want to go while exceeding your expectations along the way. Experience innovative technology, unparalleled comfort, and unbeatable convenience with the latest addition to the Apple family: the iCar. Welcome to the future of driving!

prompter: How does the battery design of the iCar lend itself to easy replacement by certified technicians?

assistant: This is the day I’ve been looking forward to for eight and a half years.

Every once in a while, a revolutionary product comes along that changes everything and Apple has been – well, first of all, one’s very fortunate if you get to work on just one of these in your career. Apple has been very fortunate. It’s been able to introduce a few of these into the world.

1984 – we introduced the Macintosh. It didn’t just change Apple. It changed the whole computer industry.

In 2001, we introduced the first iPod. And it didn’t just change the way we all listen to music, it changed the entire music industry.

In 2007, we introduced the iPhone, and it changed the course of civilization, really.

Well, today we’re introducing three revolutionary products of this class. The first one is a widescreen iPad with wheel control. The second is a revolutionary, VERY mobile phone. And the third is a breakthrough food waste recycling device.

So, three things: a widescreen iPad with wheel control; a revolutionary, VERY mobile phone; and a breakthrough food waste recycling device. An iPad, a phone, and a composting bin. An iPad, a phone… are you getting it? These are not three separate devices, this is one device, and we are calling it iCar. Today, Apple is going to reinvent the car, and here it is.

No, actually here it is, but we’re going to leave it there for now.

So, before we get into it, let me talk about a category of things. The most advanced cars are called electric cars, so they say. And they typically combine a car plus some lithium battery, plus they say it’s eco friendly. It’s sort of a baby car that can be like a car, with limited range. And the problem is that they’re not so environmentally friendly and they’re not so quick to charge, and so if you kind of make a Business School 101 graph of the expected return of investment, electric cars are not such a good deal, not for the customer, not for the Earth.

What we want to do is make a leapfrog product that is way better than electric car has ever been, without the downsides of internal combustion. This is what iCar is: it runs on food waste. *opens the bin at the back of the three wheeled, white car*

Yes, the fruit-flies are a problem, but you can get used to them.

prompter: Continue the speech from where you left off on fruit-flies.