Régulation de l'intimité au sein des relations conjugales : vers des stratégies plus optimales

When involved in romantic relationships, individuals experience a dialectical tension between their desire for openness (i.e., sharing information with their partner) and for closedness (i.e., protecting one's privacy). These opposite tendencies vary from day-to-day, creating tensions that partners must adjust to (Canary & Yum, 2015; Montgomery, 1993). The way partners communicate about these contradictory positions has been shown to greatly determine the quality of relationships (Baxter, 1990). Surprisingly, few effective and sensitive communication strategies have been proposed to help couples manage this important dialectic. This is unfortunate given that communication and intimacy problems are the most commonly reported reasons for seeking marital therapy (Doss et al., 2004). To fill this gap, Article 1 investigates romantic partners' perceptions of the acceptability and effectiveness of two different types of regulation strategies (autonomy-supportive [AS] vs. controlling [CTL]), presented in the context of two different hypothetical scenarios (openness vs. closedness). AS strategies are defined as regulation strategies that show consideration and respect for the partner’s individuality by being empathic, informational and supportive of active participation (Deci et al., 2006; Grolnick & Ryan, 1989; Mageau, et al., 2015), while CTL strategies refer to regulation strategies that involve pressuring, dominating and intrusive tactics (Grolnick & Pomerantz, 2009). Based on a sample of 268 young adults involved in a romantic relationship, results show that the majority of participants consider AS strategies as more acceptable and effective than CTL ones, despite significant interactions involving the type of scenarios (openness; closedness), demographic variables, and the AS interpersonal style of the actual partner. These interactions in turn reveal that, although these differences are constantly observed, they are accentuated for some participants and in some contexts. Extending these findings, Article 2 examines the associations between the use of AS openness and closedness strategies during real-life conversations between romantic partners and the quantity and quality of observed disclosures, the reduction of requests for disclosure and relationship outcomes. Seventy-eight couples engaged in a twenty-minute filmed conversation, with one partner playing the role of investigator. Results first show that, compared to openness strategies, partners use very few closedness strategies and when they do, these strategies are mostly CTL. For openness strategies, results reveal that, even when controlling for their general AS style and the quantity of openness interventions, investigators who use more AS openness strategies have partners who disclose more and whose disclosures are of a more personal nature. Finally, AS openness strategies were associated with some, but not all, relationship quality indicators. The theoretical contributions of this thesis to the literature on couples' communication, as well as its practical implications for therapists are discussed.

Keyphrases: communication de couple, relations amoureuses, Openness-closedness dialectic, Regulation strategies, Autonomy support, Self-determination theory, Relationship communication, Romantic relationships