by PaulRobinson | 2026-02-21 10:12:18+00:00
> I'm just tired.

> "I'm so lost, anxious and filled with doubt"

You sound burned out. Deal with that first.

Moving country at this point might not have been the optimal thing to do, but I wouldn't suggest you give up just yet: it does give you a new environment where all those old habits and circles and things are no longer around you. You get to reset. You get to define a new you. But you're going to have to do it slowly, and you're unlikely going to get a whole lot of answers from LLMs or shrooms, and a lot more from asking yourself - and answering honestly and openly - some questions you might not have thought about deeply (as in, repeatedly over many weeks or months, without distraction), in a long time, if ever.

What interests you?

Each word matters.

"What" points to a thing, and is a more interesting question than "Why am I tired?", or "How do I fix this?". You can probably write a list of things, but "Why" is about blame or justification and "How" is about method, technique or skill. "What", just is.

"Interests" is not about "passion" or "love" or "desire" or "think will make the most money". It is about what makes your brain feel tickled. It's the thing you can start to create (not what you consume), where you start diving in for 5 minutes and you're still there 2 hours later. I don't mean doom scrolling or media you like - rule out anything where you are not learning deeply about something that will help you create, or creating something directly.

"You" is obviously important. Don't try and build your direction based on what other people do if you're feeling like this. Don't try and copy - try and be your authentic self. You can ask others what interests them and think "Huh, me too, I hadn't thought of that", but don't be diving deep into internals of crypto or LLMs or buying a farm or becoming a buddhist unless those things interest you.

Again: What. Interests. You?

The answer might be "nothing". That's a sign of definite burn-out. It would not surprise me based on what you have written.

Take some time for yourself, explore your new home, go and see some sights and read some books (fiction as well as non-fiction - there's more truth in them, in my experience), and for a while (a month or two, maybe longer), just allow yourself to follow your nose. Focus on your physical and mental health for a while. Eat good quality food. Rest. Consider avoiding stimulants like alcohol and recreational drugs. See the next few months as a sort of extended vacation where you get a chance to reset.

You ask about how not to "waste your time" and how do you "focus" - maybe the best thing you can do for you in the long-term right now is waste your time and focus on nothing. Had you considered that as an option?

After a while - because you're capable, intelligent, conscientious, this is almost inevitable - an idea will start to emerge that you want to focus on. It might not be what you were expecting. It might be building something for yourself (I love writing software for an audience of one: me), or learning a new skill or applying for a job. It could be writing a book or producing art, or learning a musical instrument. It might be in your comfort zone, it might not be.

Whatever it is, you'll look at it and think "This interests me".