by publicdebates | 2026-01-24 21:07:28+00:00
> U5jjtkfjjxhdu88939994999992889398 929 88889993uej72737377787383883998

Now of course, my dear Watson, you should first suspect this to be a pattern, three groups in fact,
separated by the two spaces, with the middle being a three digit number, perhaps an area code.

> U5jjtkfjjxhdu88939994999992889398
> 929
> 88889993uej72737377787383883998

But naturally, you would believe (and correctly so) this to be too obvious a clue, suitable only for the mind of a small child,
not to mention the fact that these groups still produce nothing coherent.

You would then take note of the admixture of letters and digits,
thus considering these boundaries to also be that of the grouping mechanism, not having yet forsook the spaces as delimiters.

> U5jjtkfjjxhdu
> 88939994999992889398
> 929
> 88889993
> uej
> 72737377787383883998

Yet this too, I'm afraid, would be merely a red herring,
intended to placate the most simple minded of detectives,
who, thus having congratulated themselves on such a brilliant deduction,
fail to find anything more of meaning within this mangled mesh of evolved squiggles,
yet nevertheless refuse to backtrack and admit their logical defeat,
preferring rather to indefinitely postpone such investigations as "inconclusive" and requiring more evidence,
so as to maintain their disguise as a competent student of human reasoning.

But you, oh no, you will not give up so easily, dear Watson,
for you have seen practically miraculous epiphanies emerge at precisely the most unexpected of times,
yes indeed, and you have thus all the reason in the world to march on just a meter more in this logical game of cat and mouse.
And thus you notice next the repeats of digits and groups thereof.

> U5jjtkf
> jjxhdu
> 88939994
> 99999288
> 9398 929
> 88889993
> uej72737
> 37778738
> 3883998

Indeed, Watson, there are quite a few patterns within this group,
and you endeavor to piece them all together, one by one,
stitching them into a cohesive plop of meaning.
You quantify them, count them, group them by every possible demarcator.

But you still find youself baffled.

And why, my dear Watson?

Why, it's elementary, good sir, quite elementary indeed:
you failed to take into account the username and date of origin:
o92992930999599, created 5 hours ago, with only two comments, this and another: "U878574890309987t366989283i487".

You see, my dear friend, there are only three explanations to this baffling mystery.

First, and least likely: this is the most advanced crypt I have ever laid eyes on. Preposterous! Bonkers! Absolutely mad!
Simply look at the placement. It's a public web forum. There is no need for secrecy, nor for such a secretive communique.

Second, this account is merely a computer script, being tested for its verility upon the public forums of the net,
to ensure it is functioning properly and soundly. Quite so, but no, these patterns were not computer generated.

Indeed not,
for the patterns betray a certain command of the physical keybaord.
Notice the repition of characters near one another yet not quite symmetric.
It's as if the fingers danced across the keyboard, sometime here, sometime there,
yet never in one spot for too long,
now hopping from the left finger to a new key,
now staying a while between two new keys,
now hopping from the right to a new key,
all the while intending to appear absolutely random, and failing absolutely, I migh add.

And this, my dearest Watson, has solved the great mystery for us!
The clues have all added up to this one, great, pure moment of clarity:

Some kid's js high af n thought itd be funny to type random keys.