by ninetyninenine | 2025-11-09 09:07:17+00:00
Let us be clear from the start. This thread is not about piracy. Everyone pirates. Everyone knows everyone pirates. The internet is a vast floating marketplace of digital oranges stolen from the same tree. The practical question is boring.

The interesting question is psychological. How do you, personally, live with yourself while doing it? Why do people in this thread need to build entire theological systems of justification just to sleep at night?

That is the comedy here. Not the piracy. The denial.

Because if someone simply said, “Yes, I stole it because I wanted it and did not feel like paying,” I would respect that. Honesty. Integrity, even if dark.

But this thread is packed with people inventing ethical origami to explain why pressing the magnet link was actually a noble act of cultural preservation, spiritual support, intellectual necessity, or cosmic fairness. We are not talking about Kant. We are talking about a TV show and a PDF.

And then there is the classic justification play:

“I already bought the ebook on Kindle years ago. But I need a clean PDF to mark up on my iPad for research. Amazon will not give me a DRM free copy. I refuse to buy the same book twice. So I torrented a pristine academic version. I am simply aligning formats with my rightful ownership.”

The phrasing is beautiful. It sounds like a legal defense and a eulogy at the same time.

But think about it without the internet anesthesia. The bookstore will not give you a hardcover just because you bought the paperback once. You want the hardcover. So you go to the bookstore at night, slip a brick through the window, crawl in, take the hardcover, and walk out. You say to yourself on the way home, “I am merely aligning formats for research purposes.” People do not debate nuance when you break a window. They call the police. They call it theft.

Digital removes the broken glass. So people remove the guilt. They fill the empty space with story.

This is what I am calling out. Not piracy. Human psychology. The instinct to preserve self image at any cost. The inability to say a simple sentence:

I pirated it because I wanted it. End of explanation.

Instead we get excuses from the Pirate Justification Vending Machine

I am archiving culture I am previewing it I will pay later I support the creator emotionally I did buy it once, in 2014, which grants eternal metaphysical ownership across all formats for all time including the direct brain injection edition in the year 2089

And then sometimes someone sends the author twelve dollars via PayPal and walks away like they personally restored the moral balance of the universe. It is adorable. Like a drug lord funding a kid science fair and expecting applause.

So yes, piracy happens. Yes, I do it too. The reason does not matter. But I am not delusional about it. I do not rename theft as cultural stewardship. I do not wrap it in story. I am a thief. Not a romantic one. Not a noble one. Just one who wanted a thing and took it. I can live with that truth.

The problem is not piracy. The problem is the lengths people will go to avoid looking in the mirror. The thread is not about economics. It is about ego protection.

And seeing adults twist themselves into philosophical pretzels to avoid saying a simple uncomfortable sentence is the funniest part of all of this.

Not the torrent.

The delusion.