by nunez | 2025-10-20 20:03:35+00:00
Finally! A topic that I can directly contribute to!

I quit caffeinated coffee two years ago. A roaster nearby me came out with a decaf single origin that was so good, it not only convinced me that I don't need caf'ed coffee anymore, but it also won the 2024 US Brewers Cup.

During that time, I was also changing my sleep schedule as part of CBTi therapy I was undergoing to fix (or, more accurately, quell) a bout of sleep insomnia. The schedule was "wake up at 05:00 every day, including weekends and holidays."

The standard two weeks of caffeine "hangover" were pretty brutal, but the sleep improvements and lessen jitter were indisputable.

What was equally indisputable were my pronounced bouts of sadness/despair and, consequently, my strengthened desire to be alone. (I, like our cats, tend to want to be alone when something's wrong.) My drive and motivation to work also nosedived. Getting into anything, especially anything mundane, was a real challenge, even after changing my work environment and morning routine.

My ability to even _think_ was compromised. Putting together sentences and recalling phrases was harder. (The ability to do my job, motivation notwithstanding, wasn't affected, though.)

======

A new Saturday morning routine helped me connect the dots.

One of my favorite coffee shops opened up in my town recently. They have this coffee drink that is just the absolute best, and the shop itself is very cozy and great for reading. It was only natural that I'd eventually start my Saturday and, now, Sunday mornings there.

That coffee drink is caffeinated, and they didn't have a decaf option. I didn't care. Like the decaf bean that got me started on this whole kick, this was the only drink that I'd make an exception for.

Without fail, I'd be a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON about 20-30 minutes after finishing that drink.

Happier. Much happier. Talkative. Eager to work. Basically I'd become my old self again.

A shot of espresso did the same thing. It kept me sharp on long road trips and was (is) a fantastic pre-workout for my two hour heavy lifting days.

Coffee basically masked what, I now think, are symptoms of a minor depression. Which adds up: my work experience post-COVID is much worse than it was pre-COVID, the proliferation of AI has really taken a toll on me, and lots of stuff about the world just _feels_ worse.

I now drink caffeine sparingly with tapered draw downs, i.e. 2 cups on Monday, 1 on Tuesday, none on Wednesday and Thursday, 1 on Friday and 2 on Saturday and Sunday. I'm also selective about how I get my caffeine. I don't want to lose the sharpening effect it has or get dependent enough on it to need mountains of the stuff to chase the same benefits. (I know that my baseline will increase, since that's how drugs work.) Like other posters have said, I avoid caffeiene after 14:00, though I'll break this rule if I'm going to be out late, as caffeine has a ~6hr half-life.

Nonetheless, I'm really thankful for the two years of abstinence from it, as it finally convinced me that therapy for _just this_ might be worthwhile.

(My sleep has remained much improved. I no longer get up at 05:00 --- I am 10,000% convinced that I am NOT a morning person --- but I haven't had nearly as much trouble falling and staying asleep. CBTi helped tons, and I recommend it to anyone and everyone struggling with sleep --- after getting a sleep study, of course!)