by MisterTea | 2025-10-01 21:23:35+00:00
I don't like this - there are things that really bother me. It is also very much one persons perspective and very specific. With that said here's my opinion:

I have issues including high anxiety and it's very clear that the author is not properly dealing with their anxiety which is driving their decision making process. It is a common comorbidity and this game feels a lot like anxiety - "do I do this or that" never knowing or trusting the answers.

The decision to not take or half take meds is a red flag. I am on meds that will make me feel like dog shit before noon If I don't take them. It's a worse feeling than any discomfort that comes from taking them, brain fog and headaches included. No way should you cold turkey these things. They may be on the wrong medication or an improper dose. Are they being honest with their doctor? Are they comfortable with their doctor and feel they are helping? Anxiety will prevent people from being honest with doctors and even themselves. There is also a lot of mistrust in doctors and some neurodivergent people are outright hostile towards doctors which is a problem they need to overcome. There are good and bad doctors like there are good and bad pizza joints - find a better doctor (or pizza.) Telehealth is a god send - more options to talk to professionals. There are specialists who are tuned into your issues and some even suffer the same! Meds also fuck up your appetite - don't forget to eat which kills your mental state.

Another thing is are you hydrated enough? I get this hyper focus where I WONT move. Like I wont get up for hours until I am or practically pissing or shitting my pants because I cant stop what I am doing. I have found this leads to dehydration and hunger that is ignored which severely degrades my mental state. I have learned to use a few simple methods to break this state and I have gotten better at consciously recognizing this state and take a short break.

Masking sucks. Don't bother cosplaying other people or trying to find normal because I got news for you: no one is really normal. Just be yourself but do be mindful of your interactions. I used to be so anxious around people that I would never look them in the eye or say hello and avoided contact. Now I make an effort to say hello, look them in the eyes, and during conversation focusing on their words while maintaining eye contact as much as possible. I would fidget and make noise to distract myself - even in meetings, likely some stimming thing, which then distracts others pissing them off. I love to doodle so I used that to my advantage and doodle in a notepad I take with me to occupy my fidgety hands so I'm not tapping or banging pens or phones. When I want to sing I keep it low and do it on a quick break, like get up and take a walk around the building while quietly singing a song or talking to myself.

We are animals and we train ourselves in all of the bad habits we have. Anxiety is a great trainer of avoidance which is massively harmful. Anxiety will make you take the path of least resistance every single time which leads to a life where you don't feel in control where every little thing becomes a trigger in this fragile state. It's mentally exhausting and you burn out. If you give in you will wind up a helpless mess. There are a lot of mental exercises that WILL help you but it takes time and effort. I used to think those self affirmations and other mind exercises were bullshit but you know what, they are only bullshit if you tell yourself that over and over (again, training.) I see too many neurodivergent people outright dismiss a lot of help and seek shelter in communities which are echo chambers that reinforce negative behaviors and even stir up anger issues leading to hostile behavior. Bad stuff.

I've learned I am not weak because of my brain chemistry and that I have the power to overcome a lot of my issues. I am not ashamed of who I am because I have no control over that aspect. It's not a perfect life but I aim to try and be as happy as I can. There is no magic pill that will cure all symptoms but some pills can tackle your most debilitating symptoms. You will not go to a therapist/psych and come out a new person in a day, week, month, or year. It is a constant state of being mindful of your mental state and developing skills to deal with these states in a positive and healthy way. You will fail along the way and that is okay - failure is natural and normal. Just get back up and try again. People respect tenacity and honestly, little by little it makes you feel better. Believing in yourself and investing the effort and time becomes rewarding. Even if its just little bits and pieces at first - it adds up. I used to think I was better off dead and that scared me which led me to make changes and seek real help. It takes time. lots of time. But it's well worth it.

I will never wear my brain chemistry as some badge of honor or costume - it's merely a part of what makes me whole. There is so much more to me (and you!) than divergent brain chemistry.