by Imustaskforhelp | 2025-10-01 16:02:37+00:00
Yes, thanks a lot for your encouragement.

I've decided right now that the best step forward is definitely to focus on my studies right away as the exams are getting closer and to me, just skipping college might seem so big of a gamble but it was definitely fun thinking about being an advocate and it is definitely in my plan and I will have 4 years to study about foss and maybe fiscal sponsorships etc would be nicer and I don't want to remove my blow of college and just being focused between two very different things right now can cause a lot of dissonance like right now and my main priority is college and once I get into a decent college, I will focus on foss (activism) a lot, that is a compromise to me that seems the best of all.

I definitely still feel like a lot of other discussions definitely pessimize me too thinking of my generation as a lost cause sometimes and how it frankly boils down to the issue of lack of interest. Nobody seems as interested in these things even if they are important, they can be as easy as one click for things like signal yet nobody is even interested for things like that for most places. It is definitely sad but like, my idea right now is to still try my best just because losing hope makes me sad. We can still try things, no matter the odds.

That being said though my exams are definitely stressing me out and I had tried to give a whole day to writing a manifesto and it is funny how the mind becomes blank of sorts.

And I need to work on myself a lot if I am being honest too which I am going to do, it still excites me but my honest plan thinking about this has to go to college and then maybe really spread the word from there and also a good thanks for telling me to mail them...

I am just still confused, sometimes sad of the state of open source and I don't know what to say... I don't know if I was just being optimist back then and in reality, what would really happen, I have messaged you on email and I also have signal and I would prefer it if you could message me on signal if you could, since I do want to talk about this situation, I am just a little confused on how I can even bring change when I thought about it... when nobody cares. It would seem that my words would be noise to them unless I can understand them better and the state so I definitely need to have a fallback of college degree so that I don't feel regret in life as well... Hope ya understand as my plans are just postponed untill I get into a college, I have written the manifesto though..

Its just I am a little confused in life and I don't know what to say which is why I don't like to keep promises, I don't know but my other discussions of open source has made me atleast feel like there is very little that I can do and I discussed it with people my age and there is definitely this thing that you can't expect others to be encouraging to you in a discussion if they simply don't care and make snarky comments and you definitely need to read the room of the temperature I suppose. https://anonplusplus.codeberg.page/

I am just confused mate on how I can spread the message effectively of open source when it seems that the algorithms will work against me and the system will work against me and when it seems that everything you do nothing matters, you are gonna have all opinions on every front and in that people are going to drown and simply be ignorant,

The problem to me seems to be overwhelming, open source seems overwhelming for beginners not knowing where to start, not knowing what are some things that they should do.

What I am thinking right now is to create an actionable guide on whatever software I know about and to share that and host them myself and see the pain points...

I don't know man I am a bit tired I had created a project of sorts and I had shared it in a place which to me was really open and the response there was to have the discussions to ban me for sharing something with zeal when nobody cares... and for me to read the room, I don't really know why but that gave me a real reality check of the situation and I am still going to work on maybe spreading the word of open source but it definitely requires a sense of community and its very nuanced to say the least...

I am thinking of creating a community on something like matrix and guides about softwares in my past time and to make videos for any fixes or any showcases just trying my best and also I just feel a little overwhelmed if I can be honest.

So in all, I have just postponed my thoughts in the future when I get into a CS college hopefully and I would love to be in contact with you and discuss more things before taking any bigger steps as well and just discuss things in general too so please message me on signal if my message didn't reach on proton mail as I had sent it.

Everything's just confusing to me right now if I can be completely honest and I am definitely in the sad part of the sin curve of my emotion roller sin wave. I don't really know I have a lot of flaws and I think that I might have made a too big promise here if I can be honest when it was just meant to be proposed of as a thought that I am thinking when I want to focus right now on college and for the 4 years in college to focus extremely on foss so its mostly just a postpone till that and my college is just coming up in 3 months and I doubt that I can do much itself in 3 months but I might still be a decent bit active as a relief from studies and I am just not sure as I said, I hope ya understand