by Imustaskforhelp | 2025-09-30 00:47:13+00:00
Thanks! I will cherish these words.

Also thanks for being more understanding that some things might get lost in the communication as it wasn't really a message that I edited that much. I don't think that I even read it once from top to start and it was like a conversation of sorts.

I sometimes definitely feel like some of my words are noise and there is definitely some signal between them but I just want to get my point across if someone reads it whole like a conversation, preferably.

I am definitely working on my communication. I don't know how to manage between writing things in public completely with no major edit of sorts without feeling like I put on a mask or feeling like I hid something, I don't like hiding things. Maybe I will try to keep a git history of each comment I make and share it with ya lol. Would be funny as this post did take me quite some time to write and was really edited!

I really was gonna end on myself writing a dark note but I really really wanted to end it on a good point and that is why I wanted to give hope.

I certainly can grow my communication style and that is something that I look forward to as well as writing on my own blog someday (I have it but they are scattered into 2 accounts of mataroa and github and HN and discord etc.)

Well, If I can be honest, I am excited about the possibility of growth / growing my communication style so feedback noted!

I do know that you know my intentions are all well and If I can be honest, in this world sometimes..

I am proud of it, like I am proud of who I am. I know I am atleast trying some good % of being best with good intentions and I know I can get better and I got a life to forward too which has just started if I am being honest,so better be rolling with some positive intentions!

> growth with love, all the way down to the roots

Wow, This kind of hits to something that I was thinking/discovering about myself and its been 6 am and I was thinking about it..

Like, it just hit this idea of creating an foundation or any non profit or anything just a mechanism something to spread to people ignorant about things like the goodness of open source (as one of your comments noted), like most people are ignorant about these things and that really lends a lot of things power I suppose when its really easy yet there is ignorance and I don't blame them, I might be ignorant about a lot of things too and so I want to share my enthusiam of open source with ya.

I am in high school right now and I am not sure how it would go to have a career of non profit. I think that I had noted but I am pretty frugal person. These things don't interest me of having a bigger car or whatnot, I am honestly fine with even a scooter and I want a small car and a house(which is gonna be tough in this economy lol).

Money and the things it buy simply doesn't interest me yet I need some baseline of it to survive as well and there are other things like humanist causes/open source that I care about and I just want to make enough while I can yap about open source to students/teachers/offices and I want to tell people about signal and how its so better than whatsapp in a country which just operates on whatsapp mostly and so so many other things like pinta/linux/ even appreciation of bsd and just all the goodness of open source that I have obtained through HN

I really try to show my appreciation to things and I have got 1.5thousand -ish thousand projects starred https://github.com/SerJaimeLannister/ (here is my username)

I know I could be a good enough programmer at a run of the mill job or maybe even my own side hustle but as I said, I just don't see a point. because even if I had the money, I would do what I am mentioning. I used to chase money for financial freedom so that I could do the thing I want but it seems that I have found myself a way or atleast thinking of, a way to do it altogether.

I am definitely sure that I can explain myself better and I would someday, its 6 am right now thinking about open source and how much I just want to replace even microsoft things and what not and showcase all the curious things that people have built in open source and somehow direct people to the severely needed funded of some of these projects and how those donations are better than buying some software sometimes.. and although its not an obligation, it is the obligation of society altogether in some sense otherwise open source might not function well and there are issues right now as well..

Another idea I have is really engaging with the youth, we have so many issues that we are facing and we genuinely don't know a lot of things so I also want this to be a mechanism to atleast help in that somewhere too and definitely integrate youth.

I might sound cheesy but I was genuinely thinking of this before seeing your comment and I wanted to say thank you to your comment saying that it might have changed a bit of my trajectory of my life and so thank you..

I don't know and I am definitely not explaining myself. But I just want to give talks and practical guides to maybe masses about open source. I want to help non profits to migrate over to open source solutions and students/schools/hospitals.

I want to raise awareness about translation/feedback testing and other things too. And this idea of growth with love, all the way down to the roots could be a very neat intrepertation of what I want to do in the sense of sharing the love that open source shared to me and sharing it upwards to other people so that they can also donate to open source projects or benefit from them if they can't donate right now.

I have my own flaws too but I am just trying to live my life in the way that can help a lot of people because I want that to be my legacy. I want to help people. I will go to college also for a CS degree but this idea of non profit for open source atleast in my country is gonna be something that I would try, to share the idea of open source.

If I can be comletely honest, I don't know why someone would donate to me still and its definitely confusing. I don't have much demands and just want to live comfortably and my plan is definitely to keep something like 20k-30k $ as even they are enough for me in country as my income and all the other funds go directly somehow to the expenses of the project I suppose or if there are excess funds I would much rather have them be saved just some and even donate some to red cross or some starvation myself from foundation as I genuinely can't think of sharing open source while some people also starve and I must do atleast a little to help them too.

I want people to be zealous about open source even if they are less technical, I wouldn't say I am a full on programmer myself. Open source has helped me soo much, I almost use open source software so much and they are much easier to find even sometimes yet there was this one time friction that I had that I want to reduce for some people. I want more people in open source, Open source is beyond any company and its the philosophy that I just deeply love.

I want this to be my legacy hopefully and although I can guarantee nothing that this is gonna be the path I chose in life as I still want to think this through, I will try to keep you updated on the process.

Definitely this message could also be improved but I hope that my intentions can reach through :)

Honestly I am just a man who just wants to have a good footprint of himself after dying in hopes that people can remember me for good actions and I really want to do good actions even in darkness as that is what values more to me in the sense that I want to do good actions someday without seeking anything in return without any spotlight or anything just because its the right way. I just want to do some good and learn new things and am figuring myself out in the process.

Also that comment which I had written made me realize that there are only two options, to either have a get into politics for real change which I just .. no its not for me, and the much more lucrative option that I do have a somewhat self made expertise in, Y'know with open source, I know that deep down if I have an idea , I can make things work. I can do anything of sorts. And I appreciate it a lot, word can't express joy that open source has brought me. Its remarkable and I want to share the joy somehow in whatever way possible.

I do feel like I am selling myself a little bit but I just want enough then I want to share to other people more stuff so that they can also have enough and so on.. Like I really want to create a non profit or something regarding it someday, maybe in college, maybe after college. and I want to write things good and I will try to improve how I communicate slowly and gradually too :)

Atleast these are my plans right now but that is only if I think that I feel like that this is something that needs there to be work done on advocating for open source solutions I suppose. Maybe I am doing this because deep down I am scared of death and I want to really leave behind a good legacy of doing good and I just want to have other people do the same and so on but honestly, even that reason is good enough than just not doing anything about it. I am not sure. This second guessing of yourself wouldn't really leave us would it?

But at the same time, how can I say this differently as I have no idea how people who start non profits actually do and how they get enough money to work in correct circles and so on and how that would work, I will still get a degree of course and I am thinking of starting a fundme page with better wall of text than this one as its just me talking to myself..

I will try to write better and start a way so that people might donate if they feel like it like a kickstarter project and if I feel like there might be enough something then I would try to give my best I suppose as I am a bit scared too in that side as this is a big step of life and I would consult many people about this and this is in no means fianl but thoughts, thoughts which might go back too at some moment I am not sure and I would discuss it with things like family, like idk a lot to learn though :) so that's always nice.