by aspenmayer | 2025-08-25 12:40:26+00:00
I was in a relationship, and they were cheating on me, but I did not know that at the time. They also were not sober, which I only found out after the fact. I went to their mom's place to get my things that were there and try to talk to her if possible, and the situation became untenable because of them being unreasonable. I decided to go, and wanted the cat to be in the house while I packed the car. I was a bit more concerned with this issue than might have been reasonable, but didn't use force or anything I can't explain. I needed to recover a legally owned firearm from the property, but didn't want to inflame the situation. I was just concerned for the cat. I told them I would call the authorities if they weren't going to try to resolve the situation without me doing so. I placed the cat inside the door and made a move to go back to our old shared room, as we both stayed with her mom occasionally. They flipped out and hit me with a ceramic dog bowl in the face, nearly knocking one of my teeth out. I was so confused. I knew they didn't want me there, but I wasn't seeking to stay. I wanted to get my things and go, and I wanted the cat to not have to be in a carrier in the heat, because that is cruel and not safe for the animal. I insisted that I call the authorities at this point, and they did too.

The police arrested me, and charge stacked me with multiple felony charges. The case was dropped a year and a half later, mere days before my jury trial was set to begin. My public defender tried to get me to take their deal: 20 years suspended sentence, 10 years time served. I dodged a bullet.

I made a bad call by dating this person, and I had no idea how bad it was until that day. I'm sure I was culpable by being there and allowing this to happen. I could have walked away. I didn't mean to be party to this situation, and I don't like violence or conflict, but it has been normalized in my life due to circumstances prior to the relationship, so I didn't see the warning signs beforehand. I am single now, and am working on myself. I have been given a second chance, and wish my ex well. I don't hold any ill will. It's just not worth it.

I think that these cases are common, or at least ones like it are more common than you think. The authorities have to deal with the situation in front of them, and I don't think folks understand how charge stacking works, or the plea bargain system. I had to tell my lawyer to do their job because I wasn't taking a deal, and that is only because I know enough to know better. Most folks aren't as blameless as I was, and I know I wasn't entirely so, but I did know I didn't break the law in any way, even if I would have done things differently.

This is not to say other folks don't deserve punishment, or leniency. I can only speak for myself. I made a mistake, but I didn't deserve to be a felon over it. I didn't even break the law, though I didn't handle the situation well at all. It was a learning experience, to be sure. Until you've had to try to bond out on felony charges, I think you should not assume how probable these things are. It could happen to anyone.

Be good to each other.