by mindcrime | 2025-04-20 00:29:49+00:00
First of all, I don't think it's ever "too late" as long as you're breathing. That said, there are things I wish I'd learned earlier.

I couldn't give you a complete list of those things off the cuff, so I'll just pick one that is sort of "top of mind". I haven't thought this out in detail, so consider this me basically "thinking out loud".

So... to put it in very loose terms, I'd say I wish I'd learned to really appreciate the importance of focusing on human to human interactions and how people communicate, interact, evaluate, and understand each other. Of course that's tritely obvious on one level, but to really really internalize those lessons is a different thing.

And while it might seem silly, I'll say that one thing that helped me learn a lot was watching the TV show "Billions". Very early on in that show I kept noticing certain behaviors by the various characters that led them to bad (or sub-optimal) situations, or behaviors they used to improve their standing, etc. And I'm NOT saying that any of those characters should be seen as role models mind you. Just that watching the show kinda "smacked me in the face" in a very visceral way with regards to appreciating some things I had not really fully appreciated before.

To illustrate (spoiler warning if you haven't seen the show)... in Season 1 there's a tense meeting with the two main characters - Chuck Rhoades and Bobby Axelrod, to sign a settlement that had already been agreed to. Note, they had an agreement that made everybody happy. This should have been a simple "show up, sign the papers, call it done" deal. But Axelrod let his ego cause him to start mouthing off at Rhoades, who in turn let his ego be offended and then he ratcheted up his demands for the settlement, which eventually led to Axelrod tearing up his settlement payment check, and walking out without signing the deal. This led to all sorts of bad shit and was a suboptimal outcome for everybody involved.

The lesson (as I took it)? Detach your ego from things. Focus on the outcome you want, not how things make you feel in the moment. Don't let a brief moment of anger derail something you've been working on for months (or years, etc).

And there are very many similar lessons embedded in that show. I do recommend it to basically everybody, FWIW.

Anyway, getting back on point. I guess I'd add that I now realize that I was probably too focused on technology qua technology earlier in my career. And again, I knew that this wasn't optimal on some level. But it takes a while sometimes to go from a surface / superficial understanding of something, to a really deeply internalized understanding. Now, I get more the importance of the "human element", understanding how the business works, understanding the interpersonal dynamics of a company, etc.

Edit: let me add one more thing.

Don't whine, or complain, or sulk at work. Ever. Just don't. it might feel good, but there is basically zero chance that doing so will help your situation at all, and a very high chance that it will hurt your standing in the org and compromise you at some point. If you have a legitimate grief, sure, talk to your manager in a strictly business-like, professional manager. Eg, "Look boss, you have me doing X, and I'll do it as long as you want me to, but I'd really prefer to be doing Y. Do you think we could find a way to shift my role more to Y" or something along those lines. But sulking, acting pissed off, bitching around the water cooler, etc. are no behaviors that will help you. Trust me on this. And don't ask me how I know. :-)

HTH.