Gendered Parenting in Early Childhood: Subtle But Unmistakable if You Know Where to Look

Gendered parenting refers to parental messages and behaviors that convey information about how girls and boys are supposed to behave. In this article, we show that although gendered socialization is rarely found in broad parenting styles or explicit parenting practices, it is present in implicit parenting practices. Such implicit practices can be directed to the child (direct messages) and take the form of exposing children to different products and responding to children’s behaviors differently depending on gender. Implicit gendered parenting practices can also be directed to others or reflect general gendered expressions that are conveyed to the child (indirect messages); these can take the form of gendered evaluations of others’ behaviors in the child’s presence and modeling gendered roles. We argue that studying these subtle forms of gendered parenting is important to understand gendered child development in light of the changing societal backdrop of gender roles and values. KEYWORDS—gendered parenting; gender stereotypes; early childhood Children’s sex is a powerful factor shaping their social experiences in terms of parenting, peer relations, and interactions with teachers (1). The earliest nonbiological origins of children’s gendered behavior are likely to lie in their first social experiences —interactions with their parents. From the decision to paint a baby’s room pink or blue onward, many parents take their young children’s sex as a guiding principle for minor and major socialization decisions regardless of their children’s individual characteristics and behaviors (2). This is referred to as gendered parenting—the messages children receive from their parents related to how boys and girls should and should not behave— and vary as a function of children’s sex. Research has examined gendered parenting in early childhood over the past 40 years, with varying results and conclusions. DIMENSIONS OF GENDERED PARENTING Most parents use similar broad parenting styles with sons and daughters (3). A meta-analysis that examined broad parenting categories indicative of parenting styles (4) revealed few differences in how boys and girls were parented. Effect sizes decreased with age, suggesting more gendered parenting in early childhood, but effects in young children were mostly small or absent. Studies conducted since that meta-analysis show similar results, generally reporting no differences in broad parenting styles toward boys and girls regarding warmth (5), sensitive responsiveness (6), or parental control (7). Indeed, one would not expect to find sex differences in these areas of parenting because they reflect dimensions of socialization that are generally relevant to children’s development regardless of their sex. Theories on parents’ role in fostering gendered child development focus on more specific parenting practices (rather than broad styles) that express expectations and evaluations related to gender. As soon as a child is identified as a boy or a girl, parents form expectations about the child’s interests, skills, and behaviors, and these expectations appear in gendered parenting practices (8). However, when researchers ask parents explicitly whether they would treat their sons and daughters differently, most are not inclined toward gendered parenting practices (9). Furthermore, our observational research has taught us that explicit messages to children (e.g., dolls are for girls) are rare in societies that value gender equality. This is consistent with the fact that gender stereotypes are mostly implicit and unconscious (10). When gender egalitarianism is dominant in a society, parents are reluctant to report that they have gender-stereotypical Judi Mesman, Marleen G. Groeneveld, Leiden University. Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Judi Mesman, Centre for Child and Family Studies, Leiden University, Wassenaarseweg 52, 2333 AK, Leiden, The Netherlands; e-mail: mesmanj@fsw.leidenuniv. nl.