Reinventing Fatherhood

Margaret Mead once said that motherhood is a biological necessity, but fatherhood is a social invention. She meant that parenthood for women is tied to their biological role and that a mother’s role in her child’s life is clear, whereas the role of the father is intrinsically ambiguous and relies upon cultural prescription. After conception, a child dominates a woman’s life for the better part of a year. At this point, at least in the absence of sophisticated technolcgy, a child’s continued existence depends upon the nourishment and care it receives from its mother’s arms and her breast. Sociobiologists point out that it makes “evolutionary sense“ for women to maximize their “investment” in each child because they can generally produce only one or two at a time and relatively few over their fertile years. Modem technology has blunted this biological imperative with “test tube babies,” infant formula, and so forth. Nonetheless, a script exists for women to follow, should they choose to do so-a script of unconditional nurture, commitment, and love. Even in our fractured modem society, the specifics of maternity are indisputable. The pervasive issue today is not the existence of motherhood, but how to reconcile motherhood with women’s other interests, roles, and demands. How do women incorporate motherhood into a life plan that includes work outside the home and options and opportunities that have little to do with the mothering role? Historically, parenthood for men has been quite different. A father’s role in conception is biologically brief, albeit dramatic, contributing genetic material to get the process started. And as sociobiologists argue, it makes evolutionary sense for men to maximize opportunities for paternity because their investment and cost are small relative to women’s. However, if we move beyond the simple biology-and even the more complex sociobiology-of paternity, nothing is fixed. Fatherhood has no givens. Everything is variable. Without sophisticated DNA testing, a man can’t even be sure that he is the biological father of the child. Paternity generally requires an act of faith in a particular relationship and person. It also requires faith in the strength and validity of a set of social conventions that structure the roles of men and women. Thus, fatherhood is essentially a social invention. The outline and forms of this social invention are diverse. Some cultures have all but eliminated fatherhood as a social role linked to biological relationship. Other cultures have found ways to bind men closely and intimately to their children. In most cultures, including JudeoChristian culture, the father’s role is tied to cultural myths. For example, in contrast with the mother who came before King Solomon, prepared to give up her claim to her child so that the child might live, we are given Abraham, who is ready and willing to sacrifice his son in loyalty to God. Even many of our modem heroes have sacrificed their families for their ideals. Ghandi abdicated family responsibilities in order to serve his people and his cause. In less dramatic fashion, many traditional fathers have t goals in business, industry, govemment, the 9, and academia over investing time and care in their children. Others simply have ignored the paternal role. In the United States, for example, a significant proportion of fathers are notable for their absence from the family. F