The influence of Confucianism on identity formation of a multi-skilled migrant: An autoethnography

In this autoethnographical study, I examine how my identities were influenced by Confucianism. Two main Confucian concepts were examined: "self-perfection," and "filial piety and submissiveness. " As a migrant who left Macau for Australia at fifteen, I have been immersed in diverse cultural climates, experienced gender bias, identity crisis and racial discrimination. I consider all experiences as essential steps of my evolution with ethnographic, interpretative, phenomenological and narrative understandings. This paper introduces the term "seasonal fluctuations" as a way to describe the changing meanings of my lived experiences that were interrogated by my three distinctive personalities: The Writer, The Interpreter and The Observer. This triple hermeneutics is borrowed from Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. For me, my gender, birth place and birth order had pre-determined my fate before learning took place. The Confucian values that my family and I adopted further shaped my identities. Issues of gender equity and social justice had been discussed in the interrogation of my story, my identities remain fluid. Finally, the challenges and benefits of conducting an autoethnography were discussed. I acknowledge that qualitative research can have a transformative influence on the individuals conducting the inquiry, as we reflect on our participation in the world around ourselves. Keywords: Confucianism, Autoethnography, Gender Bias, Identity Crisis, Racial Discrimination, Lived Experiences, Experiential Layering, Seasonal Fluctuations.PreambleRecently, I was invited to be a panellist at the Monash Asia Institute International Symposium. Apart from asking intelligent questions, my job was to present a paper on how Asia Literacy was taught at Victorian secondary schools using my own experience as a migrant and my school as a case study. I left Macau for Australia when I was fifteen. I will be celebrating my 50th birthday in September, the arrival of the half century- the year of Jubilee and liberty; so 2014 seems to be an appropriate year for me to write about my life. Tenni, Smythe and Boucher (2003) argued that the researcher is required to study himself/herself in order to discover the reasons underpinning personal experience and professional practice. The research questions that I attempt to answer are, "Who am I? Who and what have influenced me to become who I am? " Willingham (2009) asserted that "we teach who we are" (p. 59), so it is necessary to explore my roots in order to present an up-to-date picture of my life and work as an educator who has taught for thirty years in various disciplines including music, languages (Chinese & ESL) and psychology across a number of different settings both in Australia and overseas - ranging from pre-school to secondary colleges, from private studios to commercial music and language schools, from broadcasting booth to television screen, and from recording studios to concert halls.The Researcher and Her ResearchI am a musician, psychotherapist, author, translator-interpreter, composer, researcher, studio and secondary school teacher. Over the course of my studies and work, I was fortunate to be granted with numerous scholarships, fellowships, community grants, academic awards, and sponsorships for overseas trainings, as well as being a cultural ambassador representing Australia. In 2013, I took a year off work to commence a PhD. I received the Australian Postgraduate Award, which continues to give me financial support for my research. Furthermore, I have been offered to become a co-author with my supervisor for a new book. As opportunity knocked, I resigned in April, 2014 from my well paid position as an expert teacher at the Department of Education after ten years of service, to join the Faculty of Education as a full time PhD candidate, a part time research assistant and teaching associate.For a mono-lingual evolving to become a tri-lingual speaker, growing up had been a linguistically challenging and culturally confusing journey for me. …