The effect of intimate relationship length on the postive and negative qualities of the relationship for those 25-35 year olds in dual-earner relationships

Marriage and close intimate relationships are probably the most intense of all social relationships. Research indicates that individuals who commence an intimate relationship do so with an overly positive perception of their selected partner. The present study aimed to determine at what time in a relationship individuals begin to acknowledge both the negative as well as the positive qualities of their partner to remove the “rosecoloured-glasses”, so to speak. Sixty-two individuals participated in the study, 30 males (M=29.9, SD=3.1) and 32 females (M=28.5, SD=3.2). Mean length of intimate relationship was 5.2 years for the sample, with 48.4% indicating a ‘married’ status for their relationship. A modified version of the Relationship Assessment Scale (Hendrick, 1988) and the Positive and Negative Qualities in Marriage Scale (Fincham & Linfield, 1997) were used to determine the satisfaction respondents had with their intimate relationship overall and the degree to which the positive and negative qualities of the intimate relationship were acknowledged as present in the relationship. Results indicate that those individuals currently in a relationship in excess of 3 years in length are significantly more likely to recognise the negative qualities of their intimate partner, but are not likely to assess the relationship in general as negative. Implications of the study’s finding are discussed and suggestions for further research are made. Social activity is pivotal to an individual’s mental, physical and spiritual health. Research indicates that individuals who regularly engage in social activity have greater positive well-being (Myers, Sweeney & Witmer, 2000; Okun, Stock, Haring & Witter, 1994). Marriage and close intimate relationships are probably the most intense of social relationships. A large number of studies have shown that a positive marital union correlates positively with health and wellbeing (e.g., McCabe, Cummins & Romeo, 1996). An individual’s level of satisfaction with their intimate relationship is also a contributor to reported levels of trust and intimacy and the quality of communication between partners, and is a predictor of marriage longevity (Fincham & Linfield, 1997). Contradictory research indicates that the link between relationship quality and well-being is increasingly tenuous with the institution of marriage waning and being replaced with alternative forms of co-operative partnerships (e.g., Cramer, 1993; Csikszentmihalyi, 1992; McCabe et al, 1996). Family structure in Australia is changing with a changing population demographic. Australian Bureau of Statistics data indicates that Australian couples are getting married later and one in four couples are choosing not to get married, instead opting for an alternative de-facto marriage arrangement (ABS, 2002a). In the past 15years there has also been a 10% increase in both men and women who indicate that they will never marry (ABS, 2002b). The relationship and family structure for younger Australians is increasingly disjointed: married, not married, de-facto or “other”. Changing family and social structures and the increased pressure to develop and maintain social interaction outside of the environment of the traditional family may adversely affect the relative importance of an individuals’ relationship, especially for younger generations. Increasingly, other commitments – such as work and career – have resulted in a necessity to work longer and more varied hours. For Australia’s younger generation the ability to positively meet all of their role commitments is increasingly challenged (Harmer, 2003). If an individual’s intimate relationship is the most intense of social relationships, how is this relationship faring as a result of changing times? The current study was interested in exploring the relative importance of intimate relationships for Australia’s younger generations, and, for this cohort, when the relationship is at its most fragile. Previous research suggests that individuals enter into an intimate relationship with an overly positive perception of their selected partner (Frye & Karney, 2004). In an earlier study (2002, cited in Frye & Karney, 2004) they explored prospective and retrospective accounts of newly weds’ marital satisfaction in a longitudinal study. The results of that study suggested that couples retrospective assessment of marital satisfaction declined gradually to a time period of 2 1⁄2 years, and then marital satisfaction began to increase. Considering this previous research exploring marital satisfaction of newly weds, the present study aimed to determine at what time in a relationship individuals begin to acknowledge both the negative as well as the positive qualities of their partner – to remove the “rosecoloured-glasses”, so to speak. The present study’s specific hypotheses were as follows: a respondent’s overall relationship satisfaction would significantly positively correlate with their perception of the positive qualities of their relationship, and would significantly negatively correlate with their perception of the negative qualities of their relationship; a respondent’s length of time in relationship would significantly positively correlate with their perception of the negative qualities of their relationship, and would not significantly correlate with the their perception of the positive qualities of their relationship or the respondent’s overall relationship satisfaction; and a participant whose intimate relationship was longer than 2 1⁄2 years in length would be significantly more likely to acknowledge the negative qualities of their partner, than a participant whose relationship was less than 2 1⁄2 years in length.