The Impact of Religious Intensification on Family Relations: A South African Example

Using the example of South African Jewish families in which the daughters became Ultra-Orthodox, this article examines the reactions and adaptations of mothers to their daughters' religious intensification. A qualitative study in which 15 mothers and 15 daughters were interviewed found that the mothers' initial reactions were primarily positive and ambivalent, with some negative reactions, but over time the mothers became increasingly ambivalent. Overall, mothers and newly observant adult daughters made serious efforts to maintain family cohesion and relationships of mutual respect. The results are explained by the South African context, stress theory, the concept of family resilience, and intergenerational theory. Key Words: family, Jewish, religion, South Africa, teshuvah. The intensification of religious identification and observance among members of major religious groupings has become a notable phenomenon in Western society. Such a development is likely to affect relations in families in which one or some of the members substantially change the level of their religious intensity. Nonetheless, the social science literature has given limited attention to the way in which families are affected by religion (Houseknecht & Pankhurst, 2000; Marciano, 1987). This article focuses on mother-daughter relations following the adult daughter's becoming 11 reborn" within the same faith in which she was raised so as to intensify her religious identification, commitment, and observance. This change subjects the adult child to an authority system and places her in social settings that diverge from those in which she was raised and to which her parent may still adhere. When the child adopts customs and practices that the parent perceives as unusual and the child refuses to participate in usual activities, it is highly probable that family relations will be adversely affected. The specific study to be described here was designed to examine the reactions and adaptations of mothers to their adult daughters' change from relatively moderate to fervent ("Ultra-Orthodox") observance of Judaism. It is a part of a crosscultural inquiry investigating and comparing the phenomenon among South Africans, Americans, and Israelis. The South African example is presented here. The authors were able to obtain family histories and compare mothers' and daughters' reactions to this occurrence. We preface this report with a description of religious intensification among contemporary Jews. Teshuvah: Return With Repentance The last few decades have witnessed the return of a sector of the Jewish population to the practice of strict, Orthodox Judaism (Aviad, 1983; Danzger, 1989; Davidman, 1991; Kaufman, 1991). The Hebrew word teshuvah, used to describe this phenomenon, suggests that the returnee is repentant and wants to repair his or her ways. Scholarly discussions of ba'alei teshuvah (those who return, masculine plural form) have focused primarily on Americans and Israelis, even though Jews from other parts of the world also have strengthened their loose ties to Judaism and have become religious (Aviad; Danzger, 1998, 2000). Research topics include the recruitment process (Shaffir, 1983), the role of ba'alei teshuvah religious learning institutions (yeshivas for men and seminaries for women; Aviad; Danzger, 1989), and comparisons between different sectors of returnees (Davidman, 1991) and between male and female modem Orthodox ba'alei teshuvah (Davidman & Greil, 1993). A recent article on the rebirth of Judaism in Kiev noted that mothers, but not fathers, of children who have become newly religious in the former Soviet Union tend to follow their children into traditional practices of Judaism (Danzger, 2000). Research conducted in the United States and Israel suggests that when young adults become religious, relations with the families of origin may become destabilized. Kaufman's (1991) qualitative study of 150 newly Orthodox women in five American urban areas found that ba'alot teshuvah (women who return) often are estranged from their families of origin. …