Caught in the Middle: Chat(ting) about Black School Leaders

Caught Chatting in the Middle I ask myself, "How did I get here, caught in the middle, chatting about the use of Eurocentric theories to explore Black school leaders in urban contexts? How did I get here, caught in the middle, chatting about how to navigate within and in-between spaces (1) of seemingly unspoken 'theoretical allegiance' (2) as Black and woman (3) in a field of predominately Whites and males? " The purpose of this article is to "chat" about my experience using Eurocentric theories in racial and culturally centered qualitative research. By choosing to use not one, but two Eurocentric theories to frame my research study of Black school leaders, I positioned myself and research in the middle of "the mainstream. " I was using them to help facilitate the move of Black school leaders' voices from the margins to the center of theory, research, practice, and policymaking. The challenge I face is that I believe researchers can use Eurocentric theories to conceptualize 'appropriate' frameworks to conduct rigorous culturally responsible and sensitive research that contributes to existing scholarly dialogue and empirical literature on culturally sensitive designs in the field of qualitative research. In this paper I use my research experience to address the question, "How can researcher(s) conduct culturally responsible and sensitive research? " I use autoethnography (Ellis, 2004) and writing as a method of inquiry (Richardson, 1994) to (re)present the multi-layers of within and in-between chats while being caught in the middle. Chat is being used metaphorically in connection to one of the theories in my conceptual framework. In this paper, chat metaphorically represents introspective musings, scholarly dialoguing, analyzing, interpreting, (re)presenting and defending. I engage in multiple chats with my emerging scholar self, scholars of educational leadership, qualitative research and Black education. I use Tillman's (2002) culturally sensitive research frame as an analytic tool to critically analyze my research design and I present within and in-between interpretative chats about my experience using Eurocentric theories for researching Black school leaders in urban communities (4). Conceptually Chatting I ask myself again, "How did I get here? " and I remind myself that a scholar's self-awareness is paramount to carrying out rigorous, ethical, and culturally-centered research in natural settings that is accepted as trustworthy (Lincoln & Guba, 1985). As I designed my study, I struggled with identifying theory that would best inform the exploration of contemporary Black school leaders' perspectives of their leadership practice in urban environments. Although I was anxious to begin my work, I wanted to make sure that I designed an ethical, culturally-responsive and rigorous study that centered the voices of those traditionally silenced in the field of education generally, and specifically in educational leadership and administration. I sit quietly and calmly at my home office desk. I relax my mind into an almost Zen state to replay the theoretical chat Dr. Fournillier, my dissertation Chair, and I had early today in her 4th floor office. During this chat, she shared how she developed her qualitative research framework. Then, in her ever so distinct and melodic Trinidadian voice she asks me, * "How are you thinking about the thing, the phenomenon of Black school leadership? " * "What are the things, the concepts, that frame you? " As assigned, I create a visual concept map (5) of how I perceive contemporary Black school leadership in urban environments. My frame of reference includes the educational experiences of my parents as well as my own. I create a concept map that centers leadership styles influenced by cultural/ethnic affiliation, knowledge and power. The leadership styles in turn influence enactment of policies and procedures while simultaneously being influenced by and influencing professional practices and the community in an effort to attain the goal of equitable access to quality educational and structural opportunities. …