Divided Families: Impact of Religious Difference and Geographic Distance on Intergenerational Family Continuity*

We examine the effects of an adult member's religious difference and geographic distance on intergenerational family continuity, using the case example of American Jewish mothers with daughters who became Orthodox and moved to Israel. Using qualitative data from a focus group with 6 women who became Orthodox and moved to Israel and separate interviews with 14 Israeli American daughters and their 14 respective American mothers, we found that initially mothers were negative about their daughters' religiosity but positive about their moves to Israel. Over time, mothers became more positive or ambivalent about their daughters' religiosity but more negative or ambivalent about their immigration. The religious difference and distance helped daughters separate and individuate. Despite feelings of loss, mothers maintained intergenerational family continuity. Key Words: Family, immigration, intergenerational continuity, mother-daughter relationships, religion. Although families are inclined to maintain intergenerational solidarity and continuity (Harootyan & Bengtston, 1994), under some circumstances, linkages between parents and their adult children are threatened. For instance, young adults who make lifestyle decisions that increase the ideological or geographic distance between themselves and their parents are likely to arouse tension in the family (e.g., Grinberg & Grinberg, 1989; Kaufman, 1991). Using the strategic case example of mothers and daughters where the daughters intensify their commitment to Judaism and move from the United States to Israel, we explored the effects of religious and geographic divisions on intergenerational family continuity and describe how families cope with the associated tension. We use the term intergenerational family continuity to refer to sustained emotional involvement and contact and the perpetuation of values and traditions passed on by the older generation to younger ones. The desire to maintain consistency and connection with patterns of the past is fundamental to individual adult development (Atchley, 1999), as well as to the maintenance of ties between generations. During less mobile eras, families maintained continuity by living in the same neighborhood or vicinity, retaining the family's farm, business, or residence, and remaining in the same religion or religious tradition (cf. Elder, Rudkin, & Conger, 1995). Intergenerational continuity also can be viewed in relation to a cultural group. Accordingly, the term "Jewish continuity" refers to the perpetuation of the Jewish religion, people, and values and is exemplified by affiliation with Jewish religious and communal organizations, endogamy, observing Judaism, and identification with Israel as the Jewish homeland. Here we report the findings of a qualitative study that examines the impact on family continuity of an adult child's religious intensification and emigration. The religious intensification to which we refer here involves a substantial increase in religious commitment and strict observance of Jewish law on the part of Jews who were raised by Jewish parents in nonobservant to moderately observant homes. The Hebrew word teshuvah sometimes is used to describe a return with repentance to Orthodox or Ultra-Orthodox Judaism on the part of Jews. We have been studying the intersection between teshuvah and the family in the United States, Israel, South Africa, and Holland. The participants in this study are married women who grew up in the United States and immigrated to Israel as young adults and their biological mothers who live in the United States. Because of the centrality of relationships in women's lives (Gilligan, 1982; Jordan, Kaplan, Miller, Stiver, & Surrey, 1991), we considered the perspectives of mothers and daughters a good barometer of the impact of internal divisions on family continuity. Sensitizing Literature, Concepts, and Theory This study was informed by literature on family relations and teshuvah, family relations and immigration, and several concepts and theories that became relevant during the course of the study. …