Compassion, Well-Being, and the Hypo-egoic Self

Compassion toward self or others can be defined as a caring response to suffering that acknowledges the shared human condition of imperfection, and involves turning toward rather than denying or avoiding pain. This chapter reviews the fast-growing body of research on the personal and interpersonal benefits of compassion. We discuss its evolutionary roots and distinguish it from similar feelings states such as empathy. Research is then reviewed that examines compassion as a trait, as a type of meditation practice, as a feature of organizations, and also discusses intervention programs designed to enhance compassion for others. Similarly, we provide an overview of research on the psychological health benefits of self-compassion, including its role in motivation, resilience, and relationship functioning, while also distinguishing the construct from self-esteem. Training programs designed to increase self-compassion are also discussed. Finally, we conclude by considering future research directions, including the importance of a better understanding of the role that culture plays in the prevalence and expression of compassion, the developmental trajectory of compassion and how compassion might be taught to youth, and a consideration of the complex relation between compassion for self and others. Compassion, Well-being, and the Hypoegoic Self Evolution is often seen as a process of “survival of the fittest,” implying that egoism and selfishness are embedded in our genetic code. The term “survival of the fittest,” often attributed to Charles Darwin, was actually coined by Herbert Spencer and the Social Darwinists who wished to justify class and race superiority. Darwin’s message was, in fact, quite to the contrary. He argued that evolutionary success was more dependent on fellow feeling than exclusive selfinterest: “Communities which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members would flourish best, and rear the greatest number of offspring” (Darwin, 1871, Chapter 4, "Sociability," para. 11). This suggests that the key to human well-being lies at least as much in our ability to connect with and care for others as in beating the competition. In recent years the topic of compassion has received considerable attention as one form of such interpersonal sensitivity, and the current chapter reviews the rapidly expanding research literature on the benefits of compassion for personal and interpersonal well-being, highlighting work on selfcompassion as well as compassion for others. Compassion for Others Colloquially speaking, compassion is an open-hearted way of relating to the world that responds to the suffering of others with care, kindness, and helpful action. Interestingly, however, research shows that despite its clear hypoegoic intention, compassion also reaps health and well-being benefits for the compassionate person. Thus, compassion may figure prominently in quality of life at the individual as well as at interpersonal and societal levels. Compassion, framed as an emotion, is the felt response to perceiving suffering that involves an authentic desire to ease distress (Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010). It also has a cognitive aspect that entails offering nonjudgmental understanding to those who fail or do wrong, so that their actions and behaviors are seen in the context of shared human fallibility (Feldman, 2005). Compassion is distinct from empathy, sympathy, and altruism, though these terms are often confused. Empathy involves emotional resonance -experiencing a similar affective state to that of another person (Eisenberg & Strayer, 1987). It is the internal mirroring of another’s emotions, and may manifest overtly as well tearing up at a friend’s sadness or smiling when another is happy, for example. As such, empathy can occur in the presence of both positive and negative emotions. Sympathy involves awareness or recognition of the painful feelings experienced by another person and feeling badly about their plight (Escalas & Stern, 2003). Sympathy can also take the form of pity or feeling sorry for another. Altruism is an action that benefits someone else, and that may or may not be accompanied by empathy or compassion (as in the case of making a donation for tax purposes). Although these terms are similar, they are not identical. Compassion often does, of course, involve elements of empathy, sympathy, and altruism. However, compassion is defined as a kind and caring emotional response to perceived suffering that acknowledges the shared human experience of imperfection, and that involves an authentic desire to help. Evolutionarily, compassion is believed to be an adaptive trait. Compassion is oriented toward reducing the suffering or needs of vulnerable offspring, is predictive of alliance formation and cooperative relations with others, and is a desirable trait in mate selection (Goetz et al., 2010). In fact, both men and women agree that “kindness” is one of the most highly valued personality traits in potential romantic partners (Buss & Barnes, 1986; Sprecher & Regan, 2002), and kindness is a key feature of compassion. Gilbert (2010) argued that compassion evolved out of the mammalian attachment system whereby a mother provides a safe place where she can soothe and calm an infant. Mothers who are attentive to distress calls tend to react to them with caring and protective behavior, which may be the beginning of the evolution of sensitivity to distress and the motivation to alleviate it. This idea is supported by a series of studies by Mikulincer et al. (2001) showing that experimentally enhancing feelings of attachment strengthens reports of compassion in reaction to others' suffering. Research on Compassion for Others Compassion as a trait. Although there is not a great deal of research on compassion as a disposition or trait, studies suggest that it is related to both personal and interpersonal well-being. Probably the most commonly used self-report measure of compassion is the Compassionate Love Scale (Sprecher & Fehr, 2005). Research suggests that individuals who report having more compassion for others on this measure exhibit more prosocial behavior such as altruism, empathy, and forgiveness, and are more likely to provide social support to others (Fehr & Sprecher, 2009). They also tend to display more gratitude in daily life (Neto & Menezes, 2014). Compassionate love has been linked to greater life satisfaction (Robak & Nagda, 2011), selfesteem (Sprecher & Fehr, 2006), and positive emotions as a result of providing care and support to others (Sprecher, Fehr, & Zimmerman, 2007). Another trait-like indicator of compassion are compassionate goals, adopted by some inividuals in relationship interactions, and which concern caring for and supporting others in relationships (Crocker & Canevello, 2008). These goals have been associated with better relationship functioning and higher positive regard from others (Canevello & Crocker, 2010). Individuals with compassionate goals also tend to report lower levels of anxiety, depression, and chronic distress (Crocker, Canevello, Breines, & Flynn, 2010). Some people actually experience a fear of compassion, particularly if they have a history of insecure attachment (Gilbert et al., 2012; Gilbert, McEwan, Matos & Rivis, 2011). In such cases, feelings of compassion for self or others can activate grief associated with feelings of wanting but not receiving affection and care from significant others in childhood (Gilbert, 2010). Beyond its association with insecure attachment, research indicates that reports of greater fear of compassion is associated with compromised mental health, manifesting as alexithymia, selfcriticism, depression, anxiety, and stress (Gilbert et al., 2012; Gilbert et al., 2011). Compassion meditation. Experimental study of both the mutability and the benefits of compassion often involves an examination of the impact of compassion meditation on psychological functioning. One compassion-based practice gaining research attention is lovingkindness meditation (LKM; Hofmann, Grossman, & Hinton, 2011). LKM focuses on developing feelings of goodwill, kindness, and warmth through the repetition of phrases that convey the wish for others to be happy and free from suffering (Salzberg, 1997). In a landmark study by Frederickson and colleagues (Fredrickson, Cohn, Coffey, Pek, & Finkel, 2008), employees at a large company took part in a 7-week course wherein they learned LKM through weekly classes and at-home daily guided meditation exercises. Results showed that compared to a wait-list control group, participants in the LKM group reported increases in daily positive emotions, such as love, joy, contentment, gratitude, pride, hope, interest, amusement, and awe. These positive emotions in turn produced increases in a wide range of positive psychological outcomes (e.g., increased mindfulness, purpose in life, social support, decreased illness symptoms). In addition, these outcomes predicted greater life satisfaction and reduced depressive symptoms. LKM appears to enhance positive interpersonal attitudes as well. For instance, Leiberg, Klimecki and Singer (2011) examined the effects of LKM on pro-social behavior and found that compared to a control group that participated in a short-term memory training, the group that had trained in LKM showed increased helping behavior in a game context. Similarly, Klimecki, Leiberg, Lamm and Singer (2013) found that LKM training increased participants’ empathic responses to the distress of others but prevented the experience of personal distress. The authors suggested that LKM may therefore improve empathic responding but also resilience. A recent study (Kang, Gray & Dovido, 2014) found that compared to a closely matched active control condition, 6 weeks of LKM training decreased implicit bias against black individuals and homeless people (as measured by the Implicit Association Test). Interestingly, even just