The Cure for the Common Zombie Movie

Rating: 8/10 (22 April 2020)

The film follows a geeky, somewhat neurotic college student known only by his destination of Columbus (Jesse Eisenburg) as he navigates his way across the abandoned, undead infested wasteland that used to be America. Despite his many phobias and some mildly OCD tendencies, he's managed to stay alive thanks to a set of rules that he lives by, including Rule #1- cardio, #2- the double tap, #4- buckle your seat belt, and #17- don't be a hero. Each of these is introduced bullet point style with hilariously grisly examples of what can happen when you fail to follow them. I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky that he never reaches rule #34.
Traveling with him through the deserted remnants of civilization is all around badass Tallahassee, played by the one of a kind Woody Harrelson. The thing to understand about Tallahassee is that he's a bit... off. Most people's first response when encountering a zombie is to kill it, but for Tallahassee, it's not just a matter of survival, it's his favorite hobby. And make no mistake; he's very good at killing zombies. In his hands even a banjo can be a lethal weapon. His one weakness and biggest obsession is that most American of foods, the Twinkie. He knows that somewhere out there is a box of Twinkies with his name on it, and he absolutely will not rest until he finds it.
Rounding out the cast are sisters Wichita and Little Rock, a pair of born grifters who make their living by their wits and trust no-one but each other. They're not too keen about working with Columbus and Tallahassee at first, but there's safety in numbers, and it's not like there's anyone else to scam or befriend, so soon the four find themselves LA bound on a post-apocalyptic cross-country road trip.
Like Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland has lots of fun lampooning the clichés of the genre, and blood and gore are used to side splitting effect. Never has the falling piano gag been as bloody or as funny as it is here. Columbus and Tallahassee's odd couple dynamic and continuous one-upmanship are also worth more than a few chuckles. And Bill Murray even appears for a fairly entertaining if all too short cameo. Where the laughs really come from though is Columbus's constant narration, which is like a workplace safety instructor crossed with a teenager's diary. It's kind of like those thought balloons in the comics, only more introspective and with more flashbacks.
Best of all is the climactic battle at the amusement park, which has all the stylized violence of a Resident Evil movie but with ten times the wit and originality. They've found more ways to incorporate carnival rides into zombie slaying then I ever would have thought possible, and the scene manages to be funny, frightening, and downright awesome at the same time. This is certainly not a kid's movie, but it's one hell of an action comedy, and the cure for the common zombie movie.