I wanted to like this movie more than I did...

Rating: 6/10 (14 October 2009)

I just might be one of the biggest "end of population" movie fans on Earth. Any movie dealing with an apocalypse...comedy, horror, thriller, etc...automatically starts out with "6" on my IMDb voting list. You can only go up from there. I love the genre so much, I even gave "The Postman" a "9"! To get stuck at a "6" means it was just too flawed. The movie which Zombieland is most compared to, Shaun of the Dead, I gave a "9" vote.
First of all, I understand you need to suspend reality before you even step in the theater when you watch a zombie movie. But the stupidity of some of the actions was beyond retarded. I'll explain more later.
Zombieland has it's moments. It looked great on the big-screen...you could tell a lot of time went into the appearance. The deaths were done very well (especially a scene where a lady is thrown from her car and her face bounces and drags along the pavement, leaving a stream of blood). Woody Harrelson was great as usual, but the big kudos goes to supporting actress Emma Stone, who was excellent. This changes all the time, but after seeing 'Zombieland', I now want to "plow" Emma Stone more than any other girl on the planet! She's hotter than a Mexican chili pepper in the middle of July! If I had the option of marrying her before I ever met her, my answer would be a resounding "Yes!"...and I'm not the marrying type to say the least! :)
But, the bad clearly out-weighs the good. The lead actor, Jessie Eisenberg, was annoying at best and downright terrible at worst. He's no Marlon Brando, that's for sure. I can't recall one thing he said or did that I laughed at. For a comedy, to get zero laughs out of the main actor is a joke in itself. Then there was a completely shameless sub-plot revolving around Woody Harrelson's love for a Hostess product, Twinkies. (They might as well have just stopped the movie halfway through and went to a Hostess commercial). At one point, Woody and Jessie find a Hostess truck crashed into a ravine. Upon opening it, one would think there would be BOXES of Sno-balls or Twinkies there...but what's there? Individually wrapped Sno-balls fall out of the truck like it was packed to the roof with them! Um, I think even a 13-year-old kid knows food items aren't shipped individually like that. Product placement needs to be done a bit more subtle to be effective, otherwise it just blatantly looks like a money-grab, which it was. Uggghhh.
Perhaps the biggest laugh and the biggest disappointment came during the same segment. Bill Murray's cameo. I won't re-hash the laugh, but the scene began with something beyond implausible. Murray, as a joke I guess, decides to -- not once, but twice -- "surprise" the pairs of armed guests by pretending to be a zombie. Perhaps the #1 thing I wouldn't do during a zombie attack is surprise somebody who's carrying a machine gun! And even after he surprised the first pair of people and barely escaped with his life, all 3 of them had no problem with Murray pulling the same joke on the second pair of armed people. Not surprisingly, Murray gets shot. Even Stevie Wonder could tell that was coming. Perhaps the 2nd biggest thing I wouldn't do, knowing the zombies were attracted to lights and sounds, is turn on the power at an amusement park right at dusk! How unbelievably corny. Also, in some scenes, the zombies are "28 Days Later" style FAST and ferocious. In other scenes, you could be crippled and still get away with relative ease. Plus, how was electricity even available after 2 months of no people running the power plant?! There are many things like that which you just shake your head at. Gas is never mentioned. All cars have the keys in them already. Seat-belts somehow stop you from getting even a headache after a high-speed head-on collision, much less a scratch. Twinkies are somehow EXTREMELY hard to find. Grocery stores look pristine, like they are ready to go, all powered-up and everything. People con you out of your car and guns, twice, even though cars and guns are easy to come by. Be prepared to roll your eyes a couple dozen times.
Finally, I simply can't recommend this movie. I love the genre, but this one was just too goofy. The love scenes were fake and implausible. I would have to think Emma Stone would be more attracted to Harrelson over the complete and utter dork they made Einsberg out to be. And Harrelson attempting to cry and bring some drama to the movie was awful and out of place. It's a comedy about zombies, people -- not all movies need the love interest and drama! Big mistake to try to cram those two things in.
I wanted to like the movie, I love the genre...but I just can't recommend it.
Thanks for reading!
JD