If you are out of shape in Zland, start adding some Mrs. Dash to your ass, because you are about to be zombie chow.

Rating: Null/10 (2 October 2009)

Swift shot: Zombie flicks and me usually don't get along well, when they are seriously driven, but Zland doesn't take itself too seriously – it is just a sweet ass ride, one that you will want to experience again and again. You'll want to bring different people with you to gauge their reactions, see if they are savvy enough to catch on and find out if they could keep up with the rules of Zombieland. And I know this film is layered, so seeing it two or three times couldn't hurt.
Right out of the gate this friggin movie has you by the nuts! From the very beginning, you are introduced to chaos and mayhem. But, fret not, even the meek can survive in Zombieland, if you remember to follow the rules. Rule #1 – Cardio! If you are out of shape in Zland, start adding some Mrs. Dash to your ass, because you are about to be zombie chow.
Zombieland has many rules, and if you pay attention you will see them strewn about this amazing film, using that interactive caption technique (you've seen it on a cheesy VW commercial). The rules will be forced down your throat over and over again, but each time is more clever and creative than the next. If you are like me, some douche-bag will be sitting behind you reading them out loud and guffawing as the butter and snot drip out of his mouth, because he is a douche-bag – so it stands to reason that the concession people hocked a luggie in his popcorn. And if they didn't, they should be fired . . . immediately.
Just when you think you have this film completely figured out, director Ruben Fleischer throws in a great surprise which I am sworn to keep quiet about on pain of death. Let's just say, you won't see it coming, and while there are quite a few predictable moments in Zombieland, the few times things aren't always as they seem will challenge your experience.
Apparently Mike Cera was not in this film, and I really gotta stop getting actors mixed up, it was Jesse (Columbus) Eisenberg, who was in Adventureland earlier this year. I think I can figure out which one he had more fun shooting – at least from what I saw on screen anyway. Woody (Tallahassee) Harrelson found his niche with his redneck rendition of Rambo meets Rowdy Roddy Piper. Tallahassee relishes squashing zombies, thrives at it, and teaches Columbus some new rules . . . and when to break those rules.
Delicious, delectable, devious Emma Stone plays Wichita, who is trying to navigate with her own set of rules as she desperately tries to lead her sister, Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) out of Zombieland and to the Pacific Playland theme park – or, Disneyland to us r-tards. I think the set they used was straight outta Adventureland or wherever they shot National Lampoon's Vacation . . . Wally World. In fact, it would have been somewhat apropos to use Wally World.
You will enjoy Zombieland; as my dad used to say, "it's an E-Ticket ride!" My review can't do justice to the experience that is Zombieland – go see it, then run right back out, grab some non-luggie popcorn, and see it again! And if you dare wait to "rent" this, please mail your testicles to some Swiss lab, because you got a rotten pair!!