Zombies are not scary anymore.

Rating: 7/10 (31 August 2011)

There was a time when humanity roamed naked on the surface of the Earth. There was a time when every syllable that poured out of a semi-clothed lunatic's mouth became a word of the almighty. And there was a time when zombies were actually scary. But why delve in the past? Now is not that time. Walking nude of the streets has been banned by law, lunatics are stashed in asylums and zombies have become the third funniest things in the world, after glittering vampires and Justin Bieber's puberty talks. Zombieland is based on the latter, not his puberty talks of course, but funny zombies. Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) is a lone man walking through a zombie apocalypse, accompanied by his ever faithful double-barreled shotgun. He has a set of survival rules ('#3 Beware of bathrooms', '#17 Don't be a hero,' '#21 Avoid strip clubs'; to name a few) that he scrupulously follows. They don't do much except keep him alive. He meets another survivor Tallahassee - a brutal, powerful, hulk of a man - who gets sadistic pleasure in kicking zombie arse. Though he is not particularly fond of Columbus, they strike a friendship of sorts, united by a common goal of not ending up as zombie-food. He decides to drive Columbus to Columbus, where the latter wants to find his family. One their way they meet Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), the former a beautiful twenty-year old and the latter a mean little bitch; both con-sisters. Columbus falls in love, things become screwy, zombies get mashed up and everyone goes home happy and satisfied.
The movie does not rely too heavily on its plot (when have zombie movies ever?), but scores high on execution. Despite being set in a grim, dystopian atmosphere, comic-timing is one of the highlights of the film. Zombieland doesn't weigh itself down with the bulk of making a zombie- flick; it does quite the contrary. Humans have always maintained a soft spot towards seeing creatures they abhor be ridiculed and maimed. The movie exploits this well, much to its benefit. With witty dialogues and adroitly done action sequences - where zombies are shot in the head, face, gut, groin and otherwise blasted to the moon - it is difficult to suppress laughter every few minutes. Though the humour is inclined towards the slapstick side, it is funny in every sense of the word.
The acting is brilliant with Eisenberg proving his mettle as an upcoming actor (he later delivered a superb performance in The Social Network). He befits the lead role with perfection; as a coulrophobic, cynical and klutzy nerd with an awkward gait. His list of life-savers accounts for much of the laughter and as he stumbles through the mayhem, often saving his neck by mere inches, you can't help but marvel at his performance. Woody (the second-best Woody I know) Harrelson as Tallahassee is a hard man with a soft centre. He despises - nay, that would be an understatement - unabashedly and wholeheartedly hates zombies; an idiosyncrasy that is later attributed to the loss of a loved one at their hands. He is to the zombies what Blade was to the vampires. However, making plant manure out of zombies is not his only purpose in life. The thing he wants in the whole wide world is Twinkies, and whoever comes between him and a Twinkie is dead meat.
The action and special effects are realistic, to say the least. The zombies look and do a convincing job of being blood-thirsty freaks and certain moments, when they materialize out of nowhere manage to make the viewers jump in their seats. The zombie-slaying, gore and erupting bodies all make it visually appealing. And the fact that the undead are not their usual snail-paced selves, but rather surprisingly agile for their reputation makes the chases and fight sequences even more exciting.
The middle, however, suffers from a drag. The director (Ruben Fleischer) tries making the movie into a rom-com-zom; with emphasis on the rom. It seems uncalled for, because the relentless blood-baths suited my taste better. And just when I was about the chop another star from the movie, much like a zombie's head, in came Bill Murray; a man whose mere presence on the screen evokes ebullience. His splendid cameo saved the star and also proved that some actors never become too old to make one laugh.
You have to feel for the unfortunate, undead bastards. From being one of the most feared and disgusting fictitious creatures, they have been made into a juvenile joke. They are still as ugly as ever, with skin peeling off, rotting brains and organs ready to fall, yet they no longer inspire fear. They are also stupid as a donkey's testicles, but you can't blame them. Their brains are cross-wired and it's hardly their fault that they cannot differentiate between a dildo and a shotgun. Tallahassee repeatedly bludgeons through their hordes. They get shot, crushed, squashed, run over, whacked, decapitated and otherwise beaten up so much that you actually feel sympathetic towards them. You can empathize, because in a way they are just hungry creatures and humans are their food.
If you agree with the above lines, I think you should consider getting a check-up done.
Zombies are bad. They deserve to die. Zombieland does just that.