What appears to be a decent z-day movie turns out to be a major disappointment

Rating: 6/10 (27 February 2011)

The first time I saw Zombieland, I thought it was a pleasantly robust zombie flick with a few odds and ends. The first time I actually WATCHED Zombieland, I slowly began to realize a few things:
1. Generic use of the "Patient X" backstory runs rampant in the Z-Movie industry.
2. Watching Woody Harrelson try to act all dramatic tough cowboy is about as painful and cringe-inducing as watching 3 straight seasons of The Office on repeat.
3. Jesse Eisenberg should really quit reaching for the title of awkward teen of the year. Michael Cera already beat you to it, guy.
--Plot-- Zombieland starts out with a lone wanderer from Ohio, stopping to get gas in Texas. Jesse Eisenberg, or better known in the film as "Columbus", narrates over a visually slick opening credit sequence before it's handed off to a super-slow mo sequence with a classic rock background. If that doesn't let you know how flippin' wicked this movie is, I think that the half-naked stripper zombie will cover that without a hitch.
From there, we accompany our awkward hero as he tries to find a potty, only to have his efforts to drop some care packages to the sewer troops doused by a swarm of jogging zombies. From there, we learn that "Cardio" is essential to surviving in the zombie apocalypse, y'know, just in case it ever happens.
After this lengthy intro and a quick peek at Mr. Eisenberg pinching a loaf in his khakis, we get the ball rolling as Columbus stumbles upon Tallahassee, a mean mothertruckin' cowboy with a drinking problem and a fast car. Really, it's just Woody Harrelson. So, they drive off onto greener pastures after a tense but screwy standoff between Tallahassee and Columbus. We even learn of Florida's addiction to Twinkies and how this craving leads them to a small market.
They enter the market in search of Twinkies, but find a couple chubby zombies to obliterate. Once the locals are taken care of, the pair stumbles upon a young beauty, and we're introduced to the character who makes this movie at least watchable, Witchita, played by Emma Stone. The woman beckons them to assist her with her sister, Little Rock, who's been bitten by one of the zombies. Just as Witchita is about to blow her sister's brains out, she decides to follow through with the real plan and jacks the pair's gear.
Everything else from there is a bunch of hijinks and irony and "be wild and different" stuff that would talk too long to highlight. Zombieland seems like one of those unique zombie flicks, but it's really just a generic recreation based on plot alone. Some Joe Somebody gets infected with a virus, it spreads around to everyone, rage-like symptoms and what-have-you. It's like 28 Days Later: Family Edition.
-Overall- Zombieland is just a polished, home-video z-day movie featuring a generic script and a hook on style and finesse with the editing. Some of the acting is solid, but Jesse Eisenberg is like a...like a limp, awkward, college kid noodle trying to act like the socially inept young adult.
While being generic, the script also focused too deeply on character development. I felt once a character was introduced, their intentions were made clear. There was really no way for the viewer to get to know the character themselves. The writers need to allow the viewer to figure out the characters themselves before they offer up a description of what he or she is all about right from the get go.
Aside from those cons, the film was somewhat enjoyable to watch, but from the standpoint of a Z-Movie fan, this one was just too softcore for being advertised as a gory, bloodfest of zombies and mayhem. Hey, at least we got Emma Stone.
-M