American 'Shaun' doesn't work

Rating: Null/10 (15 February 2010)

"Zombieland" can't help but stand in bloody parallel to another horror-comedy road movie about two unlikely survivors of the undead apocalypse. Both "Zombieland" and "Shaun of the Dead," the former's ostensible overseas cinematic twin, are unapologetically crass, viscera-strewn studies of two lovable losers who must make their way in a terrifyingly changed world.
This rough plot sketch is where the similarities between the two films end. "Zombieland" replaces "Shaun's" charmingly English wit and creativity with an attempted skewering of American hubris and excess. The resulting effort is oddly flat in tone and surprisingly unfunny in execution.
There's just something missing in the relationship between "Columbus" and "Tallahassee," the heroes of the piece. The two wanderers, who go by their cities of origin instead of real names, meet on a vehicle-snarled highway in an unspecified time well into the zombie apocalypse. They are a predictably unalike duo—Columbus is a virginal nebbish whose obsessive-compulsive personality has kept him alive, while Tallahassee is more of a seat-of-his-pants free spirit with a penchant for fast cars, fast food and heavy weaponry.
Eisenberg and Harrelson are game enough in their respective roles, but their on screen chemistry is just not in evidence. Eisenberg's twitchy awkwardness is amusing, although he will draw inevitable and not unfair comparisons to the silver screen's current Mayor of Awkwardtown , Michael Cera. Eisenberg's snakeskin suit-wearing counterpart, meanwhile, oozes Southern charisma and is not afraid to chew the scenery. However, the two actors are not funny together, and are largely relegated to Eisenberg reacting nervously to Harrelson's deftly delivered put-downs.
The pair is also saddled with some contrived, "only-in-a-movie" character traits. Harrelson's Twinkie obsession struck me as pointless and should not have been a driving force behind the narrative. Eisenberg's phobias feel similarly phony, especially has terror of clowns. What are the odds our boy overcomes his fear and kills a zombie clown during a pivotal point in the movie? What do you think?
These plot devices feel forced, as does a particular catchphrase director Ruben Fleischer drops three separate times with the apparent hope of some kind of future cult recognition. Go to any frat party in the next few years and you may hear drunken rabble-rousers advising their buddies to "nut up or shut up" before doing a keg stand. F*** You very much for that Mr. Fleischer.
Emma Stone as con artist cutiepie "Wichita" injects some life into the proceedings, but not enough. The film really starts to flail during a weird, extended cameo by a certain comic actor. Hey, I like the actor in question, and the director obviously loves him, because he gives the guy ten minutes of screen time and heavily references several of his most popular works. It's just a strange meta moment that took me entirely out of the experience, for whatever it was worth up to that point.
Sadly, not much really works in "Zombieland." There are a few fun scenes here and there, and I enjoyed the clever deployment of "Columbus's" strict rules for survival in zombie hell. Sadly, those bits are scattered like shotgunned zombie brains against a gas station wall. I think I'll just go watch "Shaun of the Dead" again.