No plot so enjoy Michael Caine, Harvey Keitel and the Scenery of the Alps

Rating: 7/10 (13 June 2016)

Old friends, music maestro Fred Ballinger (Michael Caine) and film director Mick Boyle (Harvey Keitel), vacation at a luxury hotel in the Alps and just talk about life, death, old age, youth and their kids. Both are up there in age and reflect mostly on their youth and things they remember and things they cannot remember. Queen Elizabeth sends and emissary to Fred as the Queen wants Fred to perform something called Simple Songs as a birthday present for her husband, Prince Phillip. Fred says he is retired and won't do it.
What you will see in here are numerous scenes that have nothing to do with the plot mostly because there is no plot. Now to be fair, we do enjoy the banter between Fred and Mick and we see that after all these years of friendship some secrets are revealed and with humor.
Even though we are reminded of Seinfeld shows where everything is about nothing we see that Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel perform probably at their best ever. Yes, we keep waiting for something to happen but after a time we resign ourselves to believing nothing will happen and actually look forward to those meaningless scenes at the hotel. Some scenes we do remember: We see nudity in Saunas, and at the outdoor pool where Miss Universe (Madalina Diana Ghenea) bathes in the nude; a symphony of cows and noises in nature conducted by Fred; a Masseuse played by Luna Zimic Mijovic who prefers touching to talking; a child comes up to Fred and spouts that no one is up for being a parent or being an adult and we cannot prepare for either. But perhaps the most memorable scenes show a man and a woman eating but never talking to each other. Fred and Mick bet on if this couple will talk, and they never do, but then on a walk in the woods Fred and Mick see that couple going at it with the woman screaming in delight and we see Fred pay Mick.
Then there are scenes as beautiful depictions of art, but we really cannot describe them as they go by too fast. We have the feeling the director puts these scenes in for his family and friends.
Notables: Paul Dano as Jimmy Tree an actor who watches people at the hotel to prepare for an acting gig later on. Jane Fonda as Brenda an actress that Mick needs for his new movie. Rachael Weisz as Lena, Fred's daughter who is jilted by Mick's son.
But everything reverts back to Youth. Fred says, " I've grown so old without understanding how I got here." The doctor asks, "Do you know what awaits you after you leave here?" Fred says, "No." The Doctor replies, "Youth." Make of that what you will as we may center on memories of our youth even though we do not remember everything, but do remember certain bits very clearly.
The most wonderful and astounding thing about this movie is the cinematography with picturesque Alps mountain scenes that we wish we could take with us for all time. I say this because there is no plot so enjoy the scenery, and the philosophies of life, death, old age, youth and loneliness. Ha!
There is no plot, but this is still a comfortable viewing even though we don't understand all of it. And at the end we will hear what those Simple Songs sound like. (7/10)
Violence: No. Sex: Yes, that couple in the woods. Nudity: Yes abounds a lot, but nothing erotic. Language: Yes, mostly in the beginning then it leaves us.