How the mighty have fallen...

Rating: 3/10 (31 May 2006)

I really can't believe what I've just witnessed. Let me preface this review by saying that for a long time I believed both X-Men and X2 were slightly overrated. I guess we all walk into these films with our own ideas of who and what the X-Men are and what they mean to us. I'll admit that my enjoyment of the first two movies was hampered by the fact that I couldn't let go of those ideas.
But over time I grew to appreciate very strongly what Bryan Singer had done. It was not the X-Men I had known as a child but it was something equally as complex and entertaining. The world these heroes lived in felt like one that could be right outside my door. I had a deep investment in them and their relationships with one another. You could feel seeds being planted for further adventures. There was a big picture. A grand design. And it should have culminated with the X movie to end all X movies. The point where each story reaches its inevitable climax. I'm not sure three movies would have been enough to tell the story Singer had in mind (I believe his original plans were to shoot X3 and X4 back to back), but I don't think it would have been impossible. But we deserved better than this. X3 does not send the series out with a bang, but with a whimper.
The whole thing reeks of a second tier crew picking up the reigns left dangling by their first tier predecessors. Everything from the script to the production design to the direction is lacking. It's not awful, just average. And incredibly inferior to what's come before it. I never pegged myself as a Bryan Singer fan, but he was sorely missed through every frame of this travesty.
The single worst part of the film for me was the way it mishandled Magneto and Professor X. They both behaved so completely out of character. Xavier going in and manipulating Jean's mind runs contrary to everything we've ever heard him say in the previous films. And taking a verbal swipe at Logan just seemed off. And Magneto... where to begin? First of all, he would not have abandoned Mystique. I just don't buy it. I also don't buy his "What have I done?" moment at the end. But the worst was probably his "That's why the pawns go first" comment. Ridiculous. Those were his "brothers" he was sending in there to die. Calling them pawns immediately sucks away any sympathy you might have had for him up to that point. The Magneto from the first two films would have been on the front lines with them.
And yeah, they biffed the whole Dark Phoenix thing. Big time. That whole storyline should have been dropped and saved for its own film instead of squeezing it in here. There is no phoenix. Just a lame excuse to bring back Jean Grey as a mute zombie who stands behind Magneto.
Oy, and Cyclops. You bastards. That's borderline unforgivable. Granted the first two films pushed him in the background but here he was just erased completely. Literally. Guess what? We didn't need anymore of Storm. In fact, the consensus seems to be that Halle Berry sucks. It should have been Cyclops that had to get a handle on his emotions and take charge of the team once Xavier was killed. It should have been him and Logan facing off against Jean in the end. Their proverbial triangle should have become a literal one. One could have been ready to destroy her and one could still have been trying to protect her. Huge opportunity missed. Those three words pretty much sum up the whole film.
There's no end to the errors. Why is Rogue in the danger room? What on Earth is she going to do??? Why are the Sentinel's eyes white in the sky and red when they hit the ground? Why is it daytime one second and night the next? Could they have picked a worse actor to play the president? Is this all Ratner's fault? Of course not. I think most blame belongs to Tom Rothman and the screenwriters. But Ratner definitely didn't help. Imagine a scene like Warren cutting off his wings or Mystique losing her powers in Singer's hands.
There is no emotional resonance here. It's hard to care about anything we're watching. No one mourns the death of Cyclops. Even seeing his and Jean's tombstones later in the film didn't affect me at all. Watching Magneto fall or realizing Rogue gave up her powers... nothing. Didn't feel a thing. Wolverine is reduced to wallpaper. Set dressing. There is no character arc for him or anyone else.
And if you're going to try and be so bold as to kill three beloved characters and neuter three others, have the balls to stick with it. But they don't. By the end of the movie there's an explanation for how to undo everything that's happened. The movie is essentially pointless. There are no lasting consequences for future films. If there is an X4 it would take only the first act to bring these characters right back to where we left them at the end of X2.
Speaking of which, THAT was a solid ending. As they stand in front of the president you think "Holy crap, it's the X-Men!" But in X3, it doesn't feel that way. It feels instead like these are the leftovers.
Fox, you should have waited for Singer. As long as you had to.