So...where are the X Men? This IS an X Men movie, right?

Rating: 2/10 (18 October 2006)

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As an adult who grew up reading the X Men comic book and the many subsequent spinoffs but only read them from time to time from 1993 on, let me just say that the two men that wrote this flaming turd of a movie need to never handle other comic book adaptation again. They took one of the most well written and ambitious comic books ever made and turned it into a Nickelodeon movie.
First problem, the arrangement of mutants was horrible. The mix of 1960's/1970's/1990's mutants was annoying. Having Iceman, Rogue and Kitty Pryde all the same age is stupid. Reducing Cyclops (the teams leader) to a nobody with no lines or impact spits on the entire premise of the X Men. Removing Nightcrawler, but adding Angel...just to have him DO NOTHING and say less is frustrating. Since they completely skipped/excluded the New Mutants, Emma Frost, the Hellions, Generation X, Fallen Angels, and key characters like Bishop, Forge, Cable, Gambit, etc. This becomes even more of an exercise in futility.
Let's get this straight...Collossus doesn't have a Russian accent? Juggernaut can punch Wolverine REPEATEDLY and not kill him? Juggernaut doesn't know Magneto? Professor X isn't familiar with Juggernaut? HE'S HIS STEPBROTHER!! THEY GREW UP TOGETHER!! Jamie Madrox is 30, but Iceman is 18? (Not to mention that he does NOTHING in the film) When did Juggernaut become a mutant? Who the hell are all of these no name Morlocks? Callisto's powers don't work that way, first of all. WHY WASN'T COLLOSSUS FIGHTING JUGGERNAUT? WHY WAS HE HIDING WHEN MAGNETO WAS SLINGING THE CARS THAT PYRO SET ON FIRE? WHY DIDN'T HE STAY IN ARMORED MODE FOR THE WHOLE FIGHT?
Where were all of the damn X Men? Callisto claimed she had 87 Morlocks...Where were all of the damn X Men? They were six of them...SIX? So Jubilee couldn't fight? No Cannonball? Mirage? Wolfsbane? Magik? Karma? Sunspot? Magma? They sure would've helped! So would've Richtor, Skids, Boom Boom and any other of the 50 characters they could've inserted since bets in the X Men Universe are apparently all off! Cypher? Sync? Chamber? Feral? Warpath? Anyone of these mutants were available for usage! I thought I'd see a final battle featuring mutants I was familiar with...WHO THE HELL IS ARCLIGHT ANYWAY? WHO WAS THE DUDE WITH THE PORCUPINE QUILLS? WHO WAS THAT GUY WHO WAS PRODUCING BONE SHARDS WHO FOUGHT WITH WOLVERINE? No Plague? No Sunder? No Masque? No Caliban? Where are all of the classic Morlocks?
Aside from the innumerable gaffes in regards to powers (Storm shooting lightning from her hands, etc.) and a HORRIBLE premise and storyline (tired rehashes of old comic book plots that were GOOD in the comic book) the lack of good dialogue annoyed me. Character develop was ZERO. Killing off Professor X, Cyclops, and stripping Mystique of her powers was even dumber. Juggernaut getting knocked unconscious was stupid (he's not a mutant, therefore Leech's power wouldn't affect him). The dumbest things about the X Men movies were how they had a WEALTH of available story lines and characters to choose from and they DROPPED THE BALL THREE TIMES IN A ROW!!! Rogue had no powers and Wolverine was a brooding, 6'3 ladies man who was put in charge of the kids.....NOPE! Bad call. Wolverine would disappear and end up having to take Kitty or Jubilee with him (because they'd follow him or stow away with him 80% of the time). Too many of the dynamics between different X Men was abandoned for over the top special effects...I'd rather read the comic book or watch the cartoon in that case..I WANTED TO SEE A MOVIE.
The beginning, middle and end of this movie made me want to strangle the writers of the flaming turd of an X Men movie. G4TV has been making fun of Brett Ratner's X Men 3 for a year now...I finally see why. I was disappointed in the first X Men movie. Disgusted by the 2nd one and I am appalled that this could possibly be worse than Fantastic Four. I gave that a 1 and this wasn't as bad as that so it gets a 2.
Let a WRITER who is familiar with the source material make these movies please! I would've made this the best comic book movie adaption ever. I guess all we have to look forward to know is Spider Man 3 or Ghost Rider. One.