The last stand, staggers... then collapses

Rating: 1/10 (1 June 2006)

So thinking of catching this movie? A fan of the first, and in some cases the second, films... Listen to what the people on here are saying and DO NOT bother. It's too late for those of us who have seen it, but if you haven't, save yourselves!!
I've been going through the mountainous collection of comments on this movie, and in summary they all largely agree this is truly incompetent rubbish at its best. However, the comments have all taken the easy route of simply blaming Brett Ratner. Guys, c'mon we know Ratner is a hack, thoughtless, untalented and yes only the fates know how the heck he became a director. But let us not forget he is not the only culprit to the ruination of this trilogy. Indeed X3 was begun by Bryan Singer (he was moved to Superman) so we cannot discount the fact he started this tripe.
But let's ignore the failed direction of the movie and consider the real problem. The writers. The plot is so boring and ill conceived it's laughable. The writers, its best their names are not spoken, are clearly not the thinking type. A 'cure' that is instantaneous has been found for mutants. OK. So those mutants who wanna keep their powers and can live a normal life (see almost all X-Men, lucky ay'?) can, and those whose powers cause deformities or are de-habilitating in some way, can be rid of them. Yay! Right? Oh no, apparently providing people with a choice is the source of eeevil! *insert head smack here*
But hey, this is X-Men, so we buy it. OK, so the writers get away with that. Now, they think, how can we best antagonise every X-fan in the world? Let's just kill everyone they care about off in a pointless show of special effects, and make meatballs outta the rest... Except Cyclops, the hell with him. Yes, Cyclops doesn't even get a death scene. No special effects wasted on clearly what must be the writer's most hated character.
The use of Cyclops in the three films, the last two specifically, has been to the chagrin of all his fans everywhere. It seems that either James Marsden really upset someone, they plain just hate the Cyclops character, or both. Because pairing him with the unfeeling, emotionless acting zombie that is Famke Jenson was obviously designed as some form of sick torture. Their on screen chemistry throughout has been asinine, Marsden desperately trying to elicit any kind of acting from her. What is supposed to be the most timeless love in the X-Men universe has been degraded and debauched into one man and his zombie, by the writers and the acting decisions made for the Jean Grey character. So much so, no one really cared when she died, heck I was hoping they'd reincarnate her with a different actor.
It seems to many of the actors simply wanted out, and as a result the film itself suffers a series of lackluster performances, culminating in what is supposed to be a visual full roast of a finale. But what is in fact, a badly envisaged, poorly written halt, which misuses all the characters and ignores the true potential of the scene.
Whilst everyone agrees the effects are spectacular, they also agree that they are also used without forethought. All the characters are a one eighty to their true counterparts in the comics, and the acting is constantly painful. Hugh Jackman is dull (how did Ratner achieve that?) Halle Berry does not have the acting shoulders to bear a leading role (see Catwoman !just an example do NOT see that film!) And the less said about the other performances the better.
Except one, Kelsey Grammar. Yes, everyone thinks of him as Frasier, so now think of him as Frasier on steroids. He is the one bright spot in this movie; his portrayal of Beast is down to earth, full of conviction and simply sublime. Even in his fight scenes he is exceptionally believable. He has worked hard on himself and the character and it shows. He has such screen presence you're left wondering why they didn't just ditch everyone else and just let him get on with it.
Although it's clear early on the writers missed out on an exceptional partnership, the one scene Wolverine and Cyclops have together is very, very good, and we see some of the skill these two actors truly have. After this scene the dialogue becomes painful and just plain embarrassing. All the scenes between Wolverine and Storm are weak and poorly planned. The zenith of this being Ms. Berrys line:
"If you're with us, then be with us." I laughed so hard I got shushed! Did they get Joss Whedon to write that? Is he blaming her delivery again?
It seems there were so many personal backhanders, and dodgy agreements for this film to ever be any good. Why else would you remove a respected director and replace him with a joke halfway through? Why would you allow someone a starring role when she clearly hasn't got the skill? Why would you antagonise your main target audience? The list is endless, how the people involved in the production of this movie sleep at night, without the weight of abject failure tearing them apart, is as big a mystery as how this movie ever got made. It is a shame no one will see Kelsey Grammar's performance, because it's overshadowed by the unmitigated crap of the rest of the film.
Don't believe me? Read a few of the other comments, just don't give these people anymore money, and don't get me started on the casting for Juggernaut, or the death of Xavier Why would you do either of those? Why would anyone make this movie? Does Fox hate the world this much?