X-Men Doesn't Live Up to X-Pectations

Rating: 4/10 (28 May 2006)

In X-Men: The Last Stand, Dr. Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) still runs his euphemistically named school. Some older mutants help him by teaching. Among the best and most gifted teachers are Storm (Halle Berry) and the volatile Logan/Wolverine (Hugh Jackman). Scott Summers/Cyclops (James Marsden) was once a competent teacher himself. But the death of his love, Dr. Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) has devastated him.
Neither Xavier nor Summers are able to get Grey off of their minds. Thinking his grief has him hearing her voice in his head, Summers runs off to Lake Alkali where Grey died. Xavier, however, fears there's more to Summers' actions than mere grief, and he sends Storm and Wolverine to check things out. By then, Summers has already discovered that Grey has somehow survived, and his joy is such that he doesn't stop to wonder how it is she lives, nor does he take notice of the fact that the woman he finds on the lake shore has changed.
Meanwhile, pharmaceutical magnate Warren Worthington, II (Michael Murphy) has discovered a "cure" for mutancy. His inspiration for the discovery is his own mutant son, Warren Worthington, III (called Angel, and played by Ben Foster). The President of the United States (Josef Summer) advises that the "cure" is available on a voluntary basis for any who want it, and he enlists the aid of his Mutant Affairs Secretary, Dr. Hank McCoy (the Beast, played by Kelsey Grammar) to interact with the mutant community.
At the same time, Xavier and his old friend turned enemy Eric Lensherr (better known as the evil Magneto, played by Ian McKellen) both try to talk to the resurrected Grey. Xavier wants to help her deal with her trauma, but Magneto wants to enlist her aid against those he believes would threaten all mutants. Grey, however, isn't inclined to listen to anyone or anything but the newly unleashed emotions in her head.
No matter what Dr. McCoy says, there are more than a few mutants who believe the "cure" won't be voluntary for long. Among them is Magneto's longtime associate, Mystique (Rebecca Romijn) and a mutant we've not seen on screen before, Juggernaut (Vinnie Jones). Their treatment at the hands of government authorities can only make others wonder just how legitimate the offer of a "cure" may be, and how voluntary any application will prove. Even if the "cure" is voluntary, many more resent the idea that mutancy is anything that requires a cure in the first place.
Once again, we need to remember that this is a comic book brought to the big screen. It's not cerebral drama, nor is it witty comedy. It's pure action entertainment, nothing more and nothing less. In this case, though, I'm leaning toward the "less." Oh, the acting is fine, particularly on the parts of Hugh Jackman and Ian McKellen. And the special effects are, as is to be expected, very, very good. It is, instead, the direction and the script that are lacking.
Bryan Singer, who directed the first two X-Men films so ably, chose instead to helm the upcoming Superman Returns. Bret Ratner was tapped to direct The Last Stand in his place. Ratner was simply not up to the job. There was no particularly creative camera work which, in the company of very big effects, can be forgiven. What can't be let slide, are some slow and overtly obvious edits. Edits ought to add to the excitement and suspense; these were so badly managed they actually took significantly away from it.
The scriptwriters also made some big mistakes. By packing so many new mutants into a single film, nobody got much screen time and character development suffered horribly. In the previous X-Men films, we enjoyed them in part because we empathized with or envied them. In this movie, we're very much on the sidelines and trying desperately to keep up with a story that hops everywhere because it seems incapable of settling anywhere. In fairness to Ratner, I'm not sure Singer could have managed this mess much better.
If you're looking for a lot of special effects, and to incidentally revisit  briefly  some of your favorite X-Men characters, X-Men: The Last Stand won't be a waste of your time and money. But if you think this film will in any way live up to the first two, well, think again. For the record: I thought it was okay, but that's largely because I really, really like good special effects.
POLITICAL NOTES: Perhaps the one thing of real interest here is the development of a "cure" for those who aren't like most. The implications here are strong. For example, if a "cure" for homosexuality is developed, should it be offered? Would parents give it to infants or fetuses in utero? Would adults consider it? And since homosexuality is obviously a part of who any homosexual adult is, would it be ethical to even suggest such a thing let alone strongly encourage it? While the rejection of a child by its own parents is poignant and painful, there's more than family dynamics at stake here. It's the very notion that something not "average" or "normal" might need to be "cured." What's next? Skin color?
FAMILY SUITABILITY: X-Men: The Last Stand is rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of action violence, some sexual content, and language." I can't see that there's anything in the movie that the average 12 or 13 year-old hasn't seen before, and more than once. The three 14 year-old girls I happened to be all liked it, and they made it a point to tell me that they'd not seen the first two, but had no problem following the storyline. Meanwhile, a friend's 18 year-old son informed me that he thought the movie was "retarded." Some reviewers have suggested that X-Men: The Last Stand is aimed at the average 15 year-old. I'm having a difficult time arguing against that.