The Review

Rating: 1/10 (27 May 2006)

(X-MEN III: THE LAST STAND) Let me first thank all the pimple faced comic experts that went to see this movie the same time that I did. It made my movie watching experience feel that much more enjoyable. I mean, wouldn't you like it if the casual but cool kid with his collar popped up, while wearing pointy dress shoes kept commenting, "Hey that's Beast" or hey "That's a sentinel"? My God, shut your flap! I realize you're trying to impress your date with your X-men trivia I.Q of a 150, so I won't make fun of you too much. Okay, maybe I just did? Now that I have that off of my chest, onto the movie review.
I read my share of X-MEN comics in my day, but I'm not going to sit here and exploit how the movie didn't follow any of Stan Lee's books. I just don't care. If a movie keeps my attention, the dialogue is tight, and the characters aren't jumbled around Then there is a pretty good chance that it's already on my plus side. This however fit in with the likes of the usual crap-tastic sequels that I was hoping it would steer clear of. It felt as if Brett Ratner went with cheap one liners to try and soften up this film. Which might of worked if he casted Ryan Reynolds? I also felt bad for an important main character that was in the movie for the first 5 minutes only to be killed off. Then to make matters worse, there were a lot of juggled characters that totally fell flat. Angel, who we all thought during the previews, was going to be the strong new cool guy on the block. Well sorry to disappoint you all, but other then flying over the sea during sun sets, and looking pretty, he did absolutely nothing to give the movie a push. Instead the big pivotal character was Can I get a drum roll? Cameron Bright. Who shares a spitting resemblance to Courtland Mead. Also known as the guppy faced kid from the made for T.V. movie "The Shinning". That's right not The Phoenix. She was also pointless. Magneto needed her on his side through the whole movie, and then when he finally does, she is not even used. She stands there in a drugged out daze most of the time, and doesn't react until the military tries to hurt her. Which reminds me, during the end of the film after the bridge was connected to Alcatraz, did we all witness an Ed Wood edit? It went from day to night in one frame! At this point I was thinking in my head, "I wonder how much money Bryan Singer made doing superman instead of this?" I know I keep saying "By the way, or The other thing is" But this time I'm going to say, what the beef? And to the regards of my "what the beef" comment I retort with, WHERE WAS NIGHT CRAWLER!? You mean to tell me when the X-Men are pushed to fight they were only able to round up 6 members of the entire school? Wow, Xavier really taught the kids at accelerated levels to prepare them, didn't he? I am not going to complain that Gambit or any other new characters were not involved. However, don't have a cool character like Night Crawler that was already developed from a previous movie and not throw him into the mix. In my closing comments I would like to say, what would you do for a Klondike bar? If I had known then what I know now, I would've forfeited seeing this movie for that tasty ice cream treat. Overall Rating 1 ½ out of 4 Okay, maybe the dork in front of me reduced my rating by a ½ point? So I'll be generous, and bump it up a little.
OVERALL RATING 2 out of 4