Possibly the most uneven film I've ever seen

Rating: 6/10 (22 September 2006)

EDITED: Why do people keep reporting me for spoilers?! There isn't a single spoiler in this review. That Jean Grey is back? The trailer showed that! Idiots.
The war between mutants and humans rages on  as well as between mutants and other mutants  and the spark that lights the fuse in this X-Men installment is the government-funded "Mutant-cure" project that is taking place on Alcatraz. Magneto and his fanatic followers are appalled by this idea ("They want to cure us? I say we ARE the cure  for homo sapiens.") and go into military mode to fight the humans. Because we all know the best defense is a good offense. This conflict pins Xavier and his academy somewhere in between, raising questions such as how far should we go for social conformity? Is mutation a disease, or is it part of who we are?
I think that X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) has got it all right when it comes to ethics and message because it is not in-your-face or preachy at any point. It is an objective study how this cure changes people and mutants alike (not just the ones it is injected to). Magneto cannot stand the prospect of losing his mutant identity to a human cure while Rogue wants it and Jean needs it. Director Brett Ratner neutrally navigates the themes of social conformity and ethical values with effortless skill in the film which I find impressive since it is a heavy topic and he only recently jumped onboard the X-Men fare. So "well done" here is an understatement. He does a great job.
The problem is that at some point greedy hack producers deemed this well-sketched template of mutants vs. humans going to war over ethics "insufficient" for a long action-feature. More was needed, they thought, and slapped on extra-template love-stories, reborn-stories and offputting attempts at establishing moods that reeks of cheesy character development Kodak-moment. The latter manifests itself at several points in the film, mainly in scenes with Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) coming to terms with his love for Jean. He does this by brooding and exchanging meaningful glances.
Jean's woeful reborn storyline is X-Men's fatal flaw. Sloppy writing. When reaching the point when Jean's miraculous survival from the impact of the water needs to be explained by some brainy scientist (in this case Xavier), he simply offers the explanation: "Her powers wrapped her in a cocoon of telekinetic energy." OK, so no we now. Idiotic. Poor Famke Janssen gets to inhabit a truly badly-written character as The Last Stand plays on, and she plays it badly too. She has come back super-powerful and super-sexy (logically??). Most of the film she is not really doing anything, but stands aside looking imposing while the other characters remark how superhuman she is and how powerful she has become: "She's so strong." - Xavier (yes, he actually says that -- it's a joke). When she finally does get to shine, she does not really shine at all but her scene becomes completely over-the-top and desensitizes you to the action.
Luckily, X-Men: The Last Stand is not Jean Grey's show. Curiously enough it is not Wolverine's show either. Instead the central characters take a backseat to the wide montage of new, eccentric, colourful mutant character from both Magneto and Xavier's camp  such as Juggernaught ("...bitch"), Arclight (hands down the coolest mutant power) and Callisto. Whenever there is a showdown between the two camps it is absolute gold. Even early in the film in Jean's house when they meet and fight briefly for the first time, you know you're in for a cinematic ride of vivid special visual- and audio effects as the characters blow ice, shoot metal, stir up storms and walk through walls. They mess up the house so much that it looks as though its walls are made out of paper that they just tear down and walk through. It's brilliantly handled with creative new scenarios.
However the single most poignant scene is only a few minutes into the film  in a flashback of sorts that zooms in on a little mutant boy who has locked himself in the bathroom, cutting off his wings. He cries and there is blood and white feathers everywhere and it is just a staggering image. This little boy is Angel. This scene convinced me I was in for one hell of a ride  and I was because there is a lot of the cinematic "big, bigger, epic" formula but ultimately it is a terribly uneven film with poor dialogue (lines you can guess before the character says it), mediocre acting and plain silly extra-template story lines.
6 out of 10