Pitiful X-scuse of a Movie

Rating: 1/10 (14 March 2007)

"I would have rather flushed my money down the toilets then spend it on that movie ticket," said Theresa Lewis when interviewed outside the Danbury Cinema in Chillicothe. "It would have been much more entertaining and I wouldn't have had to go as far to throw up." Such was the reaction of many movie viewers as they left the movie theater after seeing 'X-Men 3: The Last Stand'. One movie viewer, Kathryn Lewis, went so far as to say, "I would rather cut off my right arm and eat it then have to sit through that again."
The movie, directed by Brett Ratner, begins where 'X-Men 2: X-Men United' left off - absolutely nowhere! In the "not so distant future", Xavier and his circus of freaks are once again battling Magneto, a mutant whose power is the ability to (you guessed it!) control magnets, and who is determined to (you guessed it again!) destroy mankind. Needless to say he is eventually defeated and winds up playing chess by himself in a park. Although in most regards the movie was worse then its forerunner (if that's possible), in one respect it was better: three main characters are brutally killed (unfortunately Wolverine isn't one of them).
It was obvious to many viewers that the makers of the movie were trying to cram as many characters from the original comic book series onto the screen as possible, even at the cost of a good script. Many of the characters were useless to the plot and several "main characters'" names were never mentioned. This movie is brimming with supposedly clever comments, hours of pointless violence, mediocre special effects, and another band of disposable mutants. The acting is poor and the script is worse. The plot is non-existent.
Movie Weekly declares, "Unbelievable! I had no idea any primate higher that a lemur was capable of making a movie this bad!" Movie Watcher Today hails it as "Shocking, we haven't seen a movie this bad since 'Mutant Blood-Sucking Alien Clowns from Another Galaxy'." The Movie Watcher's Almanac adds, "Outrageous, at one point someone in the theater took off his clothes and killed himself with a fork in front of everyone, and nobody realized it wasn't part of the movie!"
Anyway, the total run time is approximately 104 minutes although they could have made it 4 minutes without any loss to the plot. The movie ends with a final scene that suggests a sequel although what the title could be remains a mystery. Possible candidates include 'X-Men 4: The Last, Last Stand', 'X-Men 4: The Last Stand 2', and 'X-Men 4: The Last Stand-We Mean it This Time'