Written 1 hour after seeing, and posted 2 hours later

Rating: 3/10 (26 May 2006)

This movie was horrible in so many ways. When I was done with it, I had to call a friend to talk about it, because I couldn't get over how bad it was for more than 10 minutes. X-Men 1 was good, it focused on characters, developed a bit, and had action. Magneto was trying to change humans not kill them all. X-men 2 had Cameos, but they were focused and deliberate cameos (like the much more Badass-looking armor-plated Colossus, as opposed to the crappy T2 liquid Terminator ripoff in X3). X-Men 2 had a decent incorporation of the original story lines, with alterations of course, but nothing too far off from the original intent or purpose of the character. Magneto then decides to kill all humans. That's wrong in so many ways, but it works for a movie, and it didn't muck up much else up. So what's the verdict on X-Men 3. Well, lets see... people liked plot development... what develops plot... I know, death! What else does well.... oh yea! Cameos! So, first 20 minutes, kill one of the most important main characters of the comics for dramatic effect: Horray. Oh, but don't miss the Massive list of Cameos and their messed up/non-existent powers. Oh great! Omega Red, Psyloke, Jubilee, oh wait... that's right, they didn't DO ANYTHING! OK, so the cameos aren't getting it... h'm, OK high-budget fight sequence, but the audience still isn't responding... I know, lets KILL ANOTHER CHARACTER! (I'm a genius). Now, we've kill most of our most powerful leading characters, and taken them out... h'm. I know! Magneto needs to re-affirm his commitment to enslave all humans (oops, I meant KILL) by ABANDONING his most faithful assistant! Holy Plot Holes Batman! So... 2 characters down, Tens or so broken, lets keep writing.... so.... X-Men United. Together. Oooooh, OK, so they need to symbolically UNTIE, and be AWESOME... h'm, a (large) army of Brotherhood mutants vs...... ah hell, 6 X-Men are good enough, it's not like the Brotherhood has.. OH WAIT, the ARE supposed to have awesome mutant powers. Oh well!! Guess what we do for a finale... Oh? Use the mutant-neutralizer to neutralize Jean... wow... that makes a lot of sense... writers didn't seem to think of this obvious peaceful resolution... but it seems too.... not-martyr.... hows about instead.... WE KILL HER! (Here's where you hand me my Best Writer Award!) I hate this movie. Storm fights awesome. Beast rocks. So does Wolverine. So does Jugernaut (best line of movie. Guess... bitch!). But having good fights does NOT make up for this. It's like watching Terminator 2, but outside of the awesome car chases, the Terminators play cards or something. It's that bad. I'll make a YTMND of the Jugernaut's scene, the single best scene of this movie, and NEVER NEED TO SEE IT AGAIN!!! I can only pray for the absence of a X-Men 4, because I was never so glad that Gambit DIDN'T make it into this movie. *shudders at the thought*