Should go straight to the chokey!

Rating: 4/10 (19 June 2014)

I should probably start by saying that this is my first X Men movie. They've never interested me before and neither has any superhero movie really. I've never seen Captain America, Thor or even The Avengers which everyone seems to rave about. I just find them a bit silly and geeky. If I was 10 years younger or a fan boy then I might like them, but I'm not. I'm not completely against superhero films though. Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy features two of my favourite films of all time (TDK and TDKR) but they have an element of realism and are just exceptionally made.
I decided to give First Class a go because everyone was raving about the latest X Men film, Days of Future Past. Plus, I had heard a lot of great things about First Class and it was directed by Matthew Vaughn who directed the brilliant Kick-Ass (another comic book film I actually really like). However, this film really didn't live up to its hype.
I just don't understand all the love for this film. I found it pretty laughable from the moment it started with the terrible child actors and melodrama verging on parody. The moment where Erik's mother gets shot by Nazi Kevin Bacon (no, I'm not making that up) should've been heart-breaking and really emotional, but the scene just ended up being a joke! The bombastic music, the over-acting from the kid and Kevin Bacon and the rushed directing just meant that I couldn't take the film seriously. Unfortunately the rest of the film continues in this manner.
First Class is definitely a film only kids or fan boys would appreciate. It's so daft and contrived with flat characters. Kevin Bacon is a complete caricature as the villain and the X men themselves are also very cartoony. James McAvoy's character was particularly obnoxious, although I did enjoy Michael Fassbender's slightly more complex character of Erik, who ends up turning into a caricature villain for little reason.
Even though the film is over two hours in length it still feels very rushed and withdrawn. The constant globe-trotting meant that you never knew exactly where you are or what's going on! The screenplay is also terribly contrived and very cheesy. All of the dialogue feels incredibly forced and I couldn't help but curl my toes with the end line where Michael Fassbender says, "No not Erik... I'm Magneto!" Some of the imagery was also just downright bizarre! A man puts his head in a fish tank and grows gills whilst a stripper flutters about with fairy wings whilst shooting fire from her mouth! I don't know what the writers were smoking, but I'd try some!
I also found the film quite sexist. It seemed compulsory for all the female characters to show as much leg as possible, even those who worked in the FBI. The FBI agent even goes a step further by stripping down to her bra and pants to covertly follow a bunch of prostitutes into a location. Most, if not all the female characters were objectified in some way and I found it a little depressing. Jennifer Lawrence's sexy blue character was even given ageless cells or something, which explains why she doesn't age in the later films, even though the men do because otherwise she wouldn't be sexy anymore.
Most of the action relied on CGI and a lot of it looked pretty appalling and I think it will age extremely badly in a few years time. Having said that, I did quite enjoy how off the wall the action scenes were, especially the last half hour where a submarine levitates out of the ocean, an anchor slices a ship in half and fifty missiles are deflected back into the ocean. It's just insane, and so daft that it's actually really fun to watch.
I was never bored during First Class because it was very entertaining, but not in a good way. It was kind of so bad it was good and I started to have fun counting all of the contrived and cheesy lines. I find it baffling how seriously well-liked this film is though. Everything about this film is very over-the-top from the acting to the action sequences. It's also very poorly written with dull characters making puzzling decisions. The way Jennifer Lawrence's character suddenly joined the bad side wasn't explained at all! First Class is a complete mess, but it's a pretty entertaining one. I won't be wasting any money on Days of Future Past though.