Today I had three of my children adopted

Rating: 2/10 (13 November 2014)

I say children when I actually mean those newly orphaned films I had come to know as X-Men, X2, and... that other one.
Back in my Uni days there was an unwritten rule that disregarding the past was a pathway to destroying the future. If we changed history as it had already been recorded then there was no way that any good was ever going to come from it. I can't change the following... I thought 'Tank Girl' was better than 'Barb Wire', and that's not saying much as I walked out of both films in the cinema.
I actually walked out of both, I hate to say that but it's true, I can't change it now. I was my own worst hypocrite, I use to tell my friends that 'I hated people that walked out of cinemas before the film had finished.' To be fair though, with 'Barb Wire', I was getting freaky with a new flame and a bag of sweet chili nuts in the back row away from the soft lights.
That was a good moment, not my first 'liaison' in a cinema though, I had fun with Lisa from drama school on the opening day of 'Scream', never forget that, we broke our own rules that day. If there were security cameras in cinemas, I can only imagine the kind of things that would be recorded.
So there's a lot I would change and some I definitely wouldn't, maybe the 'Barb Wire' exodus had something to do with a premature ejaculation if I remember correctly. But that's not the point, the point is I can't change it now, it is set.
I know that time travel and all the paradoxes that go with it can set up some very interesting scenarios and indeed serve the SF and fantasy genres well. What I hate about DOFP is simple, for me - and this is only my own opinion having enjoyed most of the previous X films - I hate the fact that DOFP suddenly disregards pretty much everything that had gone before.
If I follow the films to fit into some form of time line then that's where it all breaks down for me and I err back to the unwritten Uni rule. I do understand all this nonsense about parallel time-lines and 'new world' spin offs but I just don't like it.
A lot of things didn't add up. The big no-no for me, aside from the other 678 no-no's is that if Phoenix ripped apart Xavier in X3, molecule by molecule, then how in the name of Tank Girl and Barb Wire is he alive and rolling in the supposed future of the original time line?
I like to be challenged and I like to be intellectually tested but DOFP is not the kind of test I want to experience again. Sure, Quicksilver's scene was good - but it wasn't that good, let's be honest. Magneto lifting a stadium was nice, for a few seconds, then it became as boring as the rest of the film. Jennifer Lawrence should simply retire after the 'Starving Games' is finished, or before, she is simply terrible. And Bryan Singer is so far removed from Keyser Soze that I feel like I'm living in a different time line!!
I didn't enjoy it and nor did the friends I watched it with, I didn't really understand it and this is the kind of film that I normally thrive on. It wasn't fun or exciting, it had no emotion or life to it. At the end of the day, I'm going back to the DVD store tomorrow, not to take it back, but DOFP has convinced me that maybe, just maybe, 'Tank Girl' and 'Barb Wire' might just be worth a re-watch after all.