Piece of Utter Filth

Rating: 1/10 (12 June 2014)

As if the third film in the original X-Men trilogy weren't execrable enough, this one takes the only decent X-film -- First Class -- and casually murders the popular cast of characters, which is referred to obliquely in the film's first hour. This is done to motivate Magneto, since of course he's never experienced the death of anyone dear to him before. It's not like he lived through the Holocaust or anything.
Never once is anything explained, most notably how a dwarf with absolutely no powers but wooden acting managed to capture and murder them in the first place. And of course, that character must not die, at all costs. Because we really want to save this hideous abomination of a timeline?
The story is ludicrous, even for a superhero film, and it's acted and delivered about as poorly as one might expect. It's impossible to invest oneself in, and even the attempt at historical trappings are pathetic. Either they're shoehorned 'hey-it's-the-se-ven-ties!' references (which tend to be anachronistic anyway) or they're half-arsed, and that's being generous.
If you liked any of the X-Men films, and especially if you liked First Class, steer far away from this. It doesn't make any sense (Xavier can walk but can't use his powers becaaaause of the same serum that turns Hank McCoy into a blue Beast?) and doesn't respect its audience (Pietro is reimagined as 'Peter' and is about as annoying as you could imagine), but more than that, it doesn't respect the source material in the comics or the previous films.
This film does 3D well. That is its only positive. It has the distinction of being the first and only film I have not been able to finish in the theatre, for which I walked out and demanded a refund.
If you are a fan of the X-Men, do not see this movie. If you are a fan of the comics, do not see this movie. If you liked the previous films, DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU EVER SEE THIS MOVIE.
This may sound like hyperbole, but it's not. I have sat through patently terrible films, but they also were films without huge budgets and actors who should know better, not to mention directors who really need to hang it up. If this was the best they could do...it's time to just stop.