A limping sequel compared to Days Of Future Past

Rating: 5/10 (28 May 2016)

I really wanted to like the X-MEN franchise. Even before Marvels Iron Man, the old movies never stick with me other than noticing how dated they were.
And for a moment, there might be a chance to update or even reinvigorate this series, what with First Class being awesome, Days of Future Past being better than expected, and Deadpool actually having fun with itself. But after watching ApocalypseÂ… I was disappointed. While not terrible, this movie pretty much encapsulates the bland, dated, and totally clumsy aspects of the older X-Men movies with the sparse amount of good things spaced out by uninspired or flat-out bad things. It never rises any more than above average and occasionally falls below it, but it is overall better than what it could have been.
The story, for one, is far too simple. Apparently there was an ancient, all-powerful mutant called Apocalypse who, after a century-long power nap, inadvertently gets reawakened and decides that mankind needs to be destroyed because how else do we set up the third act fight scene? In doing so, he unites a new set of mutants (or old mutants but younger), while also amplifying their powers in an attempt to kidnap Charles Xavier so that they can use his mind powers (GEE, THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR!!) Meanwhile, the mutants back at the Mansion, both old and new, pretty much dawdle around until a major plot turn prompts them to stop him and his rogue mutants. No, really, that's it.
Now this wouldn't be a total issue, but that's only if it allows some compelling connective tissue. As a screenwriter, your options are A): add some interesting character dynamics, arcs, or even just world- building, or B): add needlessly complicated plot points that at least prompt the characters to trudge along until the final blowout. Sadly, this movie does neither, thus making the whole story feel empty and unmotivated. During the transition to the second act, after almost 40 minutes of character introductions and pointless meandering, the film then detours to a pointless Wolverine cameo, where the young Stryker kidnaps the mutants for some reason. After that, they decide NOW to go to Egypt to stop Apocalypse and bring back their professor. There's no rising or falling action, no defining themes that gave this series its lasting weight, no further explanation to its jumbled continuity (why is Wolverine taken in by the real Stryker rather than Mystique from the last movie?) no 80s-era context outside of pointless banter about how bad the third Star Wars movie was (Do you smell irony?), or no tangible stakes at hand, despite the movie insisting how powerful Apocalypse looks by destroying the city, because that hasn't been done enough already.
This monotony also extends to the characters. Angel, Storm, Psylocke, and Nightcrawler have no purpose outside of fighting. Mystique at one point positions herself as a revolutionary for the mutants â€“ because who isn't sick of seeing Jennifer Lawrence pulling that shtick again â€“ but then does nothing. Magneto gets a new family at least, but it serves no purpose other than the movie needed for him to get sad and be evil again. There is a stunning, albeit stupid plot twist involving Quicksilver that goes nowhere in the end, but he's once again extraneous and only there for that same speed show from the last movie. Oh hey! Jubilee is finally in these movies, but for pretty much the same role as the old X-Men cartoon, which is no role. Only Jean Grey comes close to any dimension, growing from a frightened mutant tormented by her powers and then fully blossom in an admittedly dazzling finale.
But then there's Apocalypse, played by the unfortunate Oscar Isaac. I could go on by how dull and aloof the other performance is (Jennifer Lawrence in particular looks so bored throughout this movie it feels like a protest) but Isaac as Apocalypse in particular delivers the most unforgivably ridiculous performance. To say nothing of his boring character and over complicated set of powers, he looks and acts like a total fool, as though his glaringly terrible makeup design wasn't bad enough.
Speaking of design, you'd think the films saving grace would be the action and the CG, right? WRONG! Further proving that X-Men veteran Bryan Singer possesses no grasp on big-scale stories like this (ask me about Jack and the Giant Slayer some time), this movie inherits the worst of the old movies, with awful CGI, flat aesthetic, overuse of establishing shots, and uninspired fight scenes. I'm not saying that Singer is a bad director more than I'm saying that he works best in small-scale thrillers like Usual Suspects and even Valkyrie. Now it seems like the reigns of Matthew Vaughn have totally slipped the proceedings, delivering the same TV-level style that I thought we passed over by now.
Believe me, folks; I wanted to like this movie. I wanted a comic book movie other than Disney that could really prove as a true competitor in the modern movie landscape. But as I stand, X-Men Apocalypse is too reliant on the old with not much new to the table. Here is to hoping that the next movie, or rather a new production crew, would finally give this tired franchise the X- Men First Class level high back. As it stands, its meh.
For my full review, check out my blog! http://itachisan125.blogspot.com/2016/05/review-x-men-apocalypse.html