A safe-play X-Men movie that feels like it was made in the nineties.

Rating: Null/10 (18 May 2009)

When it comes to superhero action flicks, you know you're in for a rough ride when the central character that you are supposed to be invested in, too often becomes as out-of-place and jarringly disconnected as the CGI that tries to hide his lack of dimension. Sure, it's well known that most superhero origin stories are more often that not riddled with mundane exposition material and lame excuses for drama—yet it would seem that X-Men Origins: Wolverine likes to take this to the extreme. And yet, that rabid Wolverine himself, Logan is tepid at best. With perfunctory drama that never convinces of its value to character or plot, plus action that stupefies more than compels, Wolverine as it stands it merely an exercise in extremes. Not only this, but never before has the savage and tortured animal come off as toothless and neutered as he does here; this is a safe-play X-Men movie that feels like it was made in the nineties—not quite the gritty and dark comic book action movie that it should be considering both the lead character the world of superhero movies as they stand today.
Telling the story of how Marvel's trademark bad-boy James Howlett a.k.a. Logan, a.k.a Wolverine eventually inherited his superpowers, disdain for life and easily-excited temper, X-Men Origins tells a story that has been told to death. Within this largely ho-hum retelling involving numerous moments of extreme grief for the character, there exists a slowly beating heart of sorts—this is the core of Wolverine's character of course, and his reason for receiving his own film in the first place—but not only is this core only vaguely referenced throughout the course of his latest feature, but when it is called into play, the result is almost always forced and completely disposable. So instead, what writers David Benioff and Skip Woods do is put all the focus largely on the cold-exterior of Logan; on his thirst for revenge against evils that he had left long ago.
Sure, Wolverine has his demons, but we don't necessarily see them here. No, we see him growl, we see him gracefully walk from explosions like a true action superhero should (more often than necessary), and yes we hear him talk the talk; but was I at all moved by any of this? Did I find myself edging the man on? Did I want to see his brutal vengeance play out? No, I didn't. Why? Because Hugh Jackman bored me, and so did his character. Now let's get this straight; Jackman isn't a bad actor by any means, but he does have a tendency to suck the life out of every movie he takes part in. Much like the action and CGI that exists within the story of Origins here, the actor is flat and without any sense of conviction whatsoever. Wolverine on the other hand, is a character who does have his fair share of apathetic qualities which can make him hard to penetrate; but there is more to him than just grunts and anger. Benioff and Woods unfortunately, do not give any reason to believe so.
The action itself, which comprises of obvious CGI that looks rushed and careless with set pieces as ancient and unsurprising as the sunrise, is dull and repetitious with little in the way of excitement or elements to cling to. You see, without a character to root for and only the occasional sidekick to watch outdo Wolverine at every turn, the various loop-de-loops in action choreography and supposed climaxes are negated to mere distractions only—cut them, shove some music on them and they might provide at least base-level entertainment, yet as they stand provide no such thing. The only thing more disappointing than watching Logan however, is having to try and convince yourself that make-shift excuse for a bad-guy brother-turned-nemesis Sabretooth is in any way a serious threat or reason to care anymore about the fate of our protagonists. No, instead for the brief segments of screen time that they each receive, both Gambit and Cylops give the movie its only real taste of personality and intrigue on a more visceral level.
In the end, what X-Men Origins eventually boils down to is one big, ugly, contorted superhero movie cliché that bumbles along minute after minute never doing anything significantly offensive, and yet never doing anything remotely interesting either. Stuck with a 12A certificate that more or less has the same effect of crushing Logan's claws and crotch simultaneously, what director Gavin Hood instead offers here is nothing of remote significance to Marvel fans, comic book fans or even action fans on the broadest of bases. The characters are flat, the action dull and predictable, and the drama (if it can even be called that) is just about the worst element of it all with tired plot devices and derivative contrivances that feel dated to the point of stultifying what could have even been a good fun, gung-ho action flick.

A review by Jamie Robert Ward (http://www.invocus.net)