Hardly an origin story at all

Rating: 4/10 (1 June 2014)

It was only a matter of time before most people's favourite X-Man, Logan a.k.a. Wolverine, got his own stand-alone movie. After Brett Ratner's atrocious X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) almost killed the franchise in it's tracks, 2009 was the perfect time for not so much a re-boot, but a fresh take, employing the Oscar-winning director of 2005's wonderful Tsotsi, Gavin Hood, to tackle the indestructible mutant's origin story. The result is an ugly mess of meaningless CGI, repetitive fights, corny dialogue and an over-abundance of dull supporting mutants.
After taking an extended holiday following the events of William Stryker's (Danny Huston) violent Team X mission in Africa, Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) is happily living as a shirtless lumberjack in Canada with his beautiful girlfriend Kayla Silverfox (Lynn Collins). His estranged brother, Victor a.k.a. Sabretooth (Liev Schreiber), seems to be picking off members of Team X, so Wolverine is approached by Stryker to help with the problem. At first he declines, but when he finds Kayla's bloodied body in the forest bearing the marks of Victor, he joins Stryker who implants the alien metal adamantium into his body.
Origin stories are always difficult, and only Iron Man (2008) seems to have dodged the problem of making the creation of the superhero more interesting than what they can do with their newly-found powers. Origins takes the approach of practically ignoring it completely. We have a brief scene at the start with Logan and Victor as kids, and then a montage of the brothers fighting in the American Civil War, World War II and Vietnam. Within minutes, we have skipped well over 100 years of Wolverine's life (it appears he was born around 1840). It's main focus is the rivalry between Logan and Victor, and Schreiber snarls his way through some dodgy lines and somehow manages to come through unscathed.
Truth is, Origins has more in common with the previous X-Men films than any other superhero kick-start film, filling scenes with forgettable mutants such as Agent Zero (Daniel Henney), Fred Dukes a.k.a. The Blob (Kevin Durand), John Wraith (Will.i.am) and Chris Bradley a.k.a. Bolt (Dominic Monaghan). I would have happily paid extra to see more of Gambit (Taylor Kitsch), who was no doubt added to appease fans but is criminally ignored once he shows his face, and Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds), whose story arc left me dumbfounded at the missed opportunity. Because of this, Wolverine is almost left out to dry. Normally, Jackman's charisma shines through, but here he just scowls.
All in all, this is no better or worse than those recent comic-book hero disasters Ghost Rider (2007) and Jonah Hex (2010). The first two X-Men films, directed by Bryan Singer, were really quite good, but the franchise (at this point) had become nothing more than a wad of money thrown at the screen in the hope that the crash-bang-wallop action scenes would keep the audience distracted enough to not realise what they are watching is a large pile of crap. Schreiber at least keeps things lively, and Hood is wise enough to keep things well below the two hour mark. But that is scant praise indeed, and the best thing about the film is that the sight of Wolverine chopping wood brings to mind Monty Python's Lumberjack Song.
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