The bastard child of the X-Men franchise

Rating: 1/10 (29 May 2010)

This movie was a mess. I don't read the X-Men comics so I don't really know how accurate it was, but it had almost no continuity with the previous 3 movies whatsoever. The special effects were crappy and unfinished looking (and no, I am NOT talking about the leaked workprint-- the "finished" effects were not much better), the acting was at times laughable, and the story was a jumbled mess. The whole thing was written around a revolving door of extended cameos to the point where it felt like a friggin' muppet movie. Seriously, why is Wolverine having a boxing match with this big fat guy? WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH THE PLOT!? And also, there was the stupid "love story" with Wolverine and that Native American chick (who by the way, looks nothing at all like that blond WASP disco ball girl who is supposed be her "sister"). Rather than show us WHY Logan loves this woman so much, they just jump from Logan leaving the army to him living with this chick who he supposedly is in love with. This is a such a violation of the "show don't tell" rule of cinema that it's not even funny. He loves this woman just because. They don't need to show us WHY they love each other, they just do because the writers needed it.
And while I do not read the X-Men comics, I am familiar with the character of Deadpool and I can certainly understand why people felt like his character was so bastardized in this movie. Ryan Reynolds did a good job portraying Wade Wilson (one of the only enjoyable parts of the movie), but that's all we ever saw of him. "Weapon 11" was quite possibly the dumbest most contrived end-movie-boss battle I've seen in the last 10 years (and yes, I'm well aware of how video-game-like that sounds, because it's intentional). Really, was that the best that Tom Rothman and his cronies could come up with? A mutant who has a bunch of other mutants' powers? Good grief.
In conclusion, I think we can safely assume that this movie was written by a focus panel of 14 year old boys. The only thing missing is a bunch of bikini clad women and fart jokes (although the fat boxer guy kind of filled the bodily humor niche), because this movie is nothing but moronic drivel that seems like something that a bunch of testosterone-dizzy children pumped full of caffeine would come up with. As stupid as Transformers 2 was, the one summer blockbuster last year that managed to eclipse it was Wolverine. As schlocky as TF2's script was, Wolverine's was even worse. It's merely an unending stream of video game battles shoehorned into a stupid "revenge" story. No wonder the video game ended up being superior to the film it was based on.