Even Wolverine's healing factor can't save him from a terrible movie

Rating: 4/10 (12 August 2013)

X-men Origins Wolverine is a miserable failure. This is a fact that is really well known, like they had all the ingredients to make a fun summer blockbuster but they fumbled the ball. The gruff, adamantium-clawed Marvel superhero Wolverine strikes out on his own in this X-Men spin-off starring series regular Hugh Jackman. The story gets under way as the boy who will become Wolverine makes a shocking discovery about his family bloodline, and gains a brother in the process. Flash forward to find the mutant siblings battling side by side through two world wars and Vietnam -- where they are sentenced to death for killing a commanding officer -- and Logan (Hugh Jackman) and his brother, Victor Creed (aka Sabretooth, played by Liev Schreiber), have joined a top-secret government task force. When their targets begin to include innocent civilians, conscientious Logan escapes to the Canadian Rockies, where he builds a home with pretty schoolteacher Kayla Silverfox (Lynn Collins). Informed by his old commanding officer William Stryker (Danny Huston) that the members of his old team are being targeted for death, Logan is heartbroken when Victor finds and kills Kayla. Vowing revenge, Logan agrees to take part in a dangerous experiment that will fuse his bones with a powerful metal alloy called adamantium, which makes him virtually indestructible and gives him the strength needed to defeat his powerful brother. Subsequently betrayed by Stryker, Logan (now Wolverine) sets out to find his blood-lusting brother and stop the cycle of violence once and for all. Along the way, the temperamental hero is joined by fellow mutants John Wraith (Will.i.Am) and Remy LeBeau (aka Gambit, played by Taylor Kitsch). But before Wolverine can seek vengeance against Striker and his brother, he'll have to do battle with Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) a formidable mutant instilled with many powers. (Jason Buchanan, Rovi) Funny thing is though, the movie does a horrible job explaining all this? The scriptwriter is Skip Woods, who is known for such classics as Swordfish and A Good Day to Die Hard. This is such a terrible script, it is mind boggling really. The dialogue is so flat, dull, and unfunny and the plot makes no sense. So you are gonna kill Wolverine, a man made of adamantium, with an adamantium bullet. Forget basic science, that idea in of itself is stupid. The special effects are all beyond awful. Which is unforgivable considering how big this film's budget was. And don't get me started with Deadpool. I can forgive if they change stuff from the comics, but in the context of the film itself it is still a stupid idea. You don't get a funny guy like Ryan Reynolds, make him a bad ass in the beginning, and then glue his goddamn mouth shut!!!! I will say this about the film though: The films action scenes aren't bad. They aren't good either though. Hugh Jackman gives a powerful performance in the role, Liev Schreiber does good, and Danny Houston does good as Stryker. The biggest problem lies in the premise itself: We do not need to know the history of this character. What makes Wolverine so awesome is his sense of mystery!!!! Like seriously. And I know they made a comic that told us his origins as well, and to be honest it was bad there as well. X-Men Origins may not be the worst superhero movie ever made, not even close actually. But it is among the most forgettable and mediocre superhero movies ever made.