Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rating: 3/10 (3 May 2009)

Way to start the summer, Marvel. This is a prequel to a series of mostly decent comic book movies - I'd rank the second one, X2, as maybe the second or third best comic book movie ever. It concerns the origin of the series' most popular character, Wolverine. Well, that's kind of a lie. It's not really that concerned with anything. It's an indifferently created action movie that goes through the cliché plot line ploddingly. Dialogue is flat, as is the acting. The film is overly violent but completely bloodless - I hate when they edit an R-rated movie into a PG-13 rated movie. At least it's sometimes laughable. Try not to giggle every time Wolverine is on his knees, hands (and claws) spread, screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" That happens four times in the story, and the movie flashes back to one of those times at least once, as well. There's hardly a good thing I can say about it. It's a stinker, probably the worst summer blockbuster since Van Helsing. Sorry, Mr. Jackman. I have nothing against you, but these two movies are beyond abysmal.